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"if you're free, i'd love to meet up for some coffee."
mark was currently in shock. not the good type of shock that those lucky people go into when they find out they won the lotto, or the shock someone goes into when they find out that their crush whom they've liked for the longest time actually likes them back. it was more the shock of confusion. mark's ex boyfriend donghyuck called him up randomly, after the two of them pretending that the other didn't exist for almost 4 months, and is now asking if he would like to meet up. mark knew he should probably say no but that's the last thing he wanted to do.
"uh yeah, of course. i'm free like all the time-- no well other than my job and you know socialising with my friends and stuff, i'm free." mark could hear donghyuck laugh through the phone, causing marks heart to hurt. oh how he missed that laugh. "well if you're not working or socialising this saturday, i'd love to meet up maybe around 2 or 3 in the afternoon? if that suits you, of course. it's fine if not."
"i'm actually not working this saturday so you're in luck. i haven't had a saturday off in i don't know how long. i also don't have any other plans so that suits me." half of that was actually a lie. the truth being mark didn't have work on saturday but he did have plans. he was supposed to meet up with his friends jeno and jaemin but mark saw them often so he knew they wouldn't mind if they rescheduled their lunch. the truth is, even if mark didn't see them often, he probably still would have rescheduled. he always seemed to do that because of donghyuck, no matter how much pain the younger put him through.
"well then i'll see you on saturday. i'll text you before then, hyung. i've gotta go now."
"okay donghyuck, see you then."
once the phone call was over mark threw his phone down on his bed and let out a long sigh, running his hand through his hair as he stared at himself in his bedroom mirror. why did you say yes, mark lee? you're just gonna get yourself hurt again. mark and donghyuck had a long and bumpy relationship but even after everything that happened, mark still missed the red haired boy with his whole heart and that's what sucked. he was meant to be getting over him but how could he say no to him? there was no way. all of mark's friends would be disappointed when they found out what he got himself in to but at that moment in time, his friends' opinions were the last things he cared about.
saturday didn't take its time on approaching because before mark knew it, he was standing outside the cafe that they agreed to meet at, the feeling of half excitement yet half fear filling his body. he had his hands shoved in his coat pockets, biting down on his bottom lip. he couldn't get himself to walk inside. he was just so nervous about what was about to happen. he knew donghyuck was already inside because he witnessed him walking in while he was sat in his car, not even half as nervous as standing outside made him. mark finally pulled himself together and removed his hands from his pocket, brushing down his outfit and plastering a smile on his face as he made his way inside the cafe.
once he was inside, his eyes landed on the all too familiar red haired boy who was sitting with his back towards mark, two americanos sitting on the table. mark stopped walking and took a deep breath in, trying to stop his heart from beating so fast. he made sure to keep the smile on his face. he didn't want donghyuck to know that he wasn't doing great without him. he was scared. would donghyuck be able to notice that mark missed him? he hoped not.
"oh hyung, you're here? come sit down!" the familiar voice grabbed mark out of his thoughts. "hm? oh yeah, hi donghyuck." mark made his way over to the table, sitting down on the chair that his dongsaeng pulled out for him. mark bowed his head politely, rubbing his lips together as he avoided eye contact with donghyuck who looked extremely excited to be there. "i'm so happy you agreed to meet up with me, hyung. to be honest i thought you would have said no."
"obviously i wouldn't have said no, hyuck. it's been ages since we've last seen each other. how've you been?"
"i've been pretty good. i got a new job you'll be glad to hear, it's just a small job in a cafe near my apartment but it's something. it's better than the last job too. i mean, if anyone understands how much i hated that job, it's you." donghyuck explained with a smile, his eyes wrinkling at the sides as he laughed at himself. even though the younger was rambling on about his job, the only thing mark could focus on was his smile and how it was still so pretty. it was always one of marks favourite things about donghyuck because when he smiled it meant he was happy.
donghyuck wasn't the type of person who could pretend to be happy and force a smile on his face because when he did, well, anyone who knew him could tell it was fake. he was a naturally happy boy, basically the human form of the sun. whenever donghyuck was in the room, he would instantly lift the mood by acting like the dork he naturally was and that's what mark loved about him. he wasn't afraid to be himself, no matter who he was around. donghyuck was just always donghyuck.
"hyung? hello, are you there? earth to mark!" mark raised his eyebrows and looked at the younger for a few seconds before he realised he had been staring, his cheeks beginning to heat up as he quickly removed his eyes from the boy sat in front of him. he looked down at the drink in front of him, mumbling a quiet "i'm sorry." which made donghyuck smile once more time. "how have you been anyways, mark-hyung?"
"i've been... i've been great." there was clear hesitation in his voice that mark hoped donghyuck didn't catch on to and by the look on his face, he was convinced which was surprising because mark is the worst liar and that was the biggest lie he has told all year. mark wasn't great. in fact, he was probably the complete opposite. after ending their three-year relationship, everything went down hill for mark. he lost his job due to him not attending work in result of being heartbroken and he barely left his house for 2 almost 3 months. only recently have things started looking up for him but sure, look where he is now. "i also got a new job. needed a change, you know. my last job got too boring."
at this point, donghyuck was curious. he knew mark loved his old job, he even thought that it was the job mark would spend the rest of his life in but he decided not to mention it, knowing that mark would only lie if he felt it was necessary so instead he just nodded his head and agreed with him, telling his hyung that it was always good to try out new things. mark just smiled at him, nodding as he looked down at the table, just like he had done every other time he smiled. donghyuck just thought it was because he was shy but obviously that wasn't the case. instead it was because mark didn't want to show how much he was hurting inside. he didn't want donghyuck to know how shocked and confused he was so in front of donghyuck, mark pretended he was fine. he pretended he was okay because he knew that was the best thing to do in that situation.
as the 'get together' went on, the two boys continued to talk and smile at each other as if nothing ever happend, mark focused on every little thing donghyuck was saying. mark was always so into when donghyuck talked about the things he was passionate about like singing and dancing. everytime he listened to the boy his heart would beat faster and he became a smiling mess as he held his head on the palm of his hand. but this time it was different. the only thing mark could think of this time was how much he missed donghyuck and that if he could, he would ask the younger to come back right away without hesitation but he knew that it wouldn't be good for anyone if that happened.
"the kid i was teaching was honestly the funniest ever, don't get me wrong he was adorable but his dancing was hilarious. i felt so bad every time i laughed but honestly i couldn't hold it back. he's worse than you were before i taught you." mark couldn't help but laugh, showing his teeth as he done so, his eyes squeezed shut. he was always so easily amused especially by anything donghyuck said. "i wasn't that bad, hyuck. you know i wasn't."
"if that helps you sleep at night then i'll let you think that hyung."
mark stopped laughing and nodded his head, looking at the beautiful boy in front of him. he felt his heart speeding up as the two of them shared eye contact for what felt like forever before donghyuck finally spoke up. "this is nice. i hope we can do this again sometime, hyung. it feels refreshing to be able to sit here and talk to you like this."
"i couldn't agree more, hyuck."
donghyuck looked down at his phone, his eyes widening as he realised the time. he had promised his friend renjun that he would hang out with him at five o'clock and it was now four forty-six and unlike mark, donghyuck could never cancel on renjun, even though he saw the boy almost every day. in fact it was that exactly that caused all the problems in their relationship. donghyuck spent so much time with renjun and it made mark jealous. donghyuck ignored mark's pleas to spend more time with his boyfriend and that led to constant arguments between them. donghyuck bit down on his bottom lip nervously as he locked his phone, sliding it back into his coat pocket. "i'm so sorry but i didn't realise the time. i actually have to meet up with a friend soon."
as soon as mark heard those words he knew who donghyuck was talking about. he couldn't believe he didn't even change that much, especially after it being the cause of their breakup. he couldn't believe that even after four months of being apart, donghyuck still put spending time with renjun before spending time with mark and it hurt so bad but he couldn't let it show. he done a good job so far convincing donghyuck that he was fine without him so he just had to keep it going, just until he left so mark just nodded his head and smiled. it seemed like smiling was all he seemed to do that day. "oh, that's fine. i actually have to meet up with my friends soon, too."
the two of them got up from their seats and headed towards the exit, walking outside together in silence before they both stopped outside. donghyuck turned to mark, that all too familiar smile still on his face. "i really enjoyed today. let's do this often, hyung. spending time with you is better than i remember it to be."
but not good enough to cancel plans with your friend at least once, mark thought to himself but obviously he wouldn't say that out loud. instead he just agreed with the younger telling them that he would make sure that they meet up every once in a while. donghyuck thanked him and pulled him into a hug which took mark by surprise but he wrapped his arms around donghyuck's waist anyways, making the most of the moment that he knew was eventually going to end and that he probably wouldn't get to experience it again. or at least not for another while.
"i'll see you later, mark-hyung. get home safely." was the last thing donghyuck said to mark before he walked off, leaving mark watching him with that huge smile he had been wearing all day just in case hyuck happened to turn back around. as soon as the younger was out of sight, mark turned around to look the other way, releasing a long deep breath that he felt he was holding in forever. the smiled was now wiped off his face and he was back to his normal self, feeling completely useless. he didn't realise the younger had such an effect on him.
mark began to walk off home, trying to collect his thoughts together. he didn't know what to think about what just happened, it all happened so quick. it felt like it was just five minutes ago that donghyuck had called him to meet up. mark let out a long sigh, running his hand through his blonde noodle-like hair. he just couldn't get donghyuck out of his head. the words donghyuck spoke were just floating around fresh in his memory.
"let's do this often hyung. spending time with you is better than i remember it to be."
mark knew it was stupid but he couldn't stop his heart from fluttering at the words hyuck had said to him. the words that made him smile, even though it hurt. it hurt that mark just couldn't stop him from having an impact on him. the thoughts all came so sudden to mark and he could feel his chest tighten. the boy stopped walking and shut his eyes, taking a long deep breath in, licking his lips slowly before opening once again. he reached his hand into his pocket, dialing lee donghyucks number, waiting for him to pick up.
"oh hyung? is everything okay, we just parted a minute ago--"
"okay hyuck, let's meet again. let's meet once in a while so that i can smile. i'm sick of not being able to smile whenever i'm not around you. for the past four months, smiling was something that was so difficult for me to do but when i'm around you, it's as easy as breathing. so let's meet up again and i will smile, even though it hurts hyuck, i still smile and i pretend its fine. i pretend everything's okay in front of you because i don't want you to know how bad i miss you, hyuck. i don't want you to know how bad i'm doing without you. i know as soon as i end this phone call, i'm gonna regret every word i just said to you but it's the truth and i need you to know that."
mark quickly hung up the phone before donghyuck had the chance to reply, pressing the off button before shoving it back in his pocket and taking another deep breath. he knew that probably wasn't the best thing to do but he felt a weight lift from his shoulders. he knew eventually he would have to deal with the consequences of his words but instead of thinking about the negatives of the situation, mark walked off with a genuine smile on his face for the first time in a long while, feeling a sense of accomplishment.
mark finally felt happy.