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Daniel had specially dressed up for today's homecoming event. He checked his appearance again for the umpteenth time in front of the mirror. He wanted to make sure he would be looking his best at the event because his ex-boyfriend, Ong Seongwoo, would be attending too. Seongwoo had already confirmed his attendance in the group chat. Their meeting would be inevitable. He just wants to make sure he looks more mature when they finally meet.
He wants him to know he was no longer the boy that he had known when they were young.
Daniel entered the hall and went over to the table he was assigned to. He greeted his old classmates who were already sitting at the table while his eyes roamed around to find Seongwoo. However, he was nowhere in sight. He took a seat and started drinking with one of his old friend, Jaehwan. After a couple of drinks, the man he was anticipating finally appeared.
“Hello!” Seongwoo greeted with his cheery voice.
Most of the people at the table stood up and went over to welcome him with a hug. It was not surprising to Daniel as his ex-boyfriend was one of the popular guys in school back then because of his funny antics. Despite having many pursuers back then, Seongwoo chose him.
He did not realise how lucky he was until now.
After all the greetings, Seongwoo sat at the only empty seat left at the table which was beside Daniel. Nobody said anything because nobody knew they were in a relationship previously. They had been very quiet about it. All their friends only remember them as best buddies during those times.
“It has been a while,” Seongwoo greeted Daniel with a smile.
The smile that Daniel missed all these years.
That was the only conversation they had for the rest of the evening. There were many times Daniel wanted to start a conversation with Seongwoo but nothing seems to come out from his mouth. It became worse when everyone else was trying to talk to his ex-boyfriend. He could only gather updates about Seongwoo through the different conversation that he was having with other people.
Daniel gave up eventually and excused himself to head off to the bathroom. On his way back, he found Seongwoo alone at the balcony. He quickly took the chance to approach him, “why are you out here?”
“I think I had too much drink,” Seongwoo explained and starting patting on his rosy cheeks, “trying to sober up a little before heading back in.”
They stayed quiet for a moment before Daniel broke the ice, “do you still remember that time when we skipped classes and hide here?”
They started recalling the times that they had back at the balcony. Having lunch, skipping classes, playing games, dancing to music, singing random songs, drinking, all the times that they spent together at the balcony. They started laughing at all the silly things that they did back then when they were young and innocent.
Daniel really missed all the happy times that they had.
“I missed you,” Daniel confessed suddenly.
He tried to read the expression on Seongwoo face but to no avail. His ex-boyfriend had always been good at hiding his emotion. Before he could ask if he felt the same, Jaehwan came over and interrupted them. It was time for a group photo. Seongwoo's expression changed again as he answered to Jaehwan's call and quickly follow him. When they enter the room, everyone was already standing in place waiting for the three of them to join.
The homecoming event finally came to an end. Everyone started bidding goodbye and asking to meet up again soon. Daniel's eyes remained on Seongwoo, waiting for the opportunity to speak to him alone in private. He really wants to know how Seongwoo feels about him now. Do they still have a chance to get back together?
“Hey, do you want to head back together?” Daniel suggested when he finally found Seongwoo standing by the roadside alone.
Daniel observed how Seongwoo’s eyes wander around nervously. He was hesitating. His ex-boyfriend kept quiet for a moment, unable to give a reply. Just then, a car pulled over in front of them. A man, who looks around their age, came out of the car and started waving towards their direction.
“Seongwoo!” The man called out with a gentle voice.
That was when Seongwoo explained, “sorry, my boyfriend is here to pick me up.”
Daniel's face fell hearing the word boyfriend coming out from Seongwoo's mouth. He quickly recovered and forced out a smile, trying to hide his true feelings, “it's okay.”
He felt stupid thinking that he still had a chance while Seongwoo has already moved on from their relationship. The man came, standing beside Seongwoo and bowed slightly at Daniel, acknowledging his presence.
Daniel hates to admit but they look good together.
“Does your friend need a ride home?” The kindhearted looking man asked.
Daniel shook his head, “is alright, I live nearby.”
Seongwoo and the man bid Daniel goodbye and headed back towards the car. He watched how the man acted like a gentleman, opening the car door for Seongwoo first before getting into the driver seat. The car drove off and Daniel’s smile faded as they left his sight.
He felt heartbroken even though back then he was the one that proposed to break up. Why didn’t he realise how perfect Seongwoo was? Why did he have to lose him before he realises how much he meant to him? He really regretted making that choice but now it was already too late.
It was too late to ask him to come back to him.
At least Seongwoo found someone better, someone who could take good care of him.
At least one of them is happy.
“Since when did I become your boyfriend?” Minhyun teased his best friend.
Minhyun was far from them when he got out from the car but close enough to hear Seongwoo telling Daniel that he was his boyfriend. The older one did not expose his best friend believing that he must have a good reason for lying.
Seongwoo kept quiet ignoring the question that his hyung ask. He had lied to Daniel, Minhyun was not his boyfriend. After breaking up with Daniel, Seongwoo stop looking for love. He was surprised when Daniel said he missed him. All these time Seongwoo thought Daniel no longer love him anymore. He missed Daniel, so much, but patching up with him was something Seongwoo would not consider.
Having his heart broken once was enough, he did not need another.
He does not have the courage to handle another breakup.
那时候的我还年轻，不懂事，不知道什么叫珍惜。
希望你遇见是一个比我还要疼你的他。
I was too young, not sensible enough. I don’t know how to cherish you.
If we have meet now, I would definitely hold onto you tighter.
----- Kang Daniel
我还爱你但是我没办法承受多一次的心痛。
我已经没有勇气再爱你一次。
I still love you but I can no longer bear another heartache.
I don't have the courage to love you again.
------ Ong Seongwoo