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Kurt’s always known Blaine was a little odd. No normal human being jumps on furniture, serenades guys they barely know in the Gap, and wears that much hair gel.
The list could go on, truly.
But he used to view Blaine with rose-tinted goggles, so he never really noticed truly how weird he was. It wasn’t until they started dating that Kurt stopped seeing Blaine through the eyes of a worshipper and more so through the eyes of a lover, who adored Blaine regardless of the furniture climbing and inappropriate serenading and copious amounts of hair gel.
They’re in Columbus one weekend for a date night, walking around before their dinner reservations at a nearby restaurant. All Kurt wants to do is reach out and grab Blaine’s hand but he doesn’t. He’s still in Ohio, after all.
Kurt’s in the middle of talking about the restaurant they’re going to eat at – how it takes months to get reservations but because Mercedes dad’s uncle’s friend owns it, they were able to get a table – and Blaine isn’t paying attention.
Instead, he’s in a staring contest with a fucking pigeon.
“Blaine?” Kurt says and stops and his boyfriend automatically stops next to him. “Babe.” Kurt waves a hand in front of Blaine’s face, finally getting his attention.
“Sorry, Kurt—”
“Are you okay? We can cancel the reservation if you want to leave, it’s fine.”
“No, I’m fine, thank you though,” Blaine smiles, looking at Kurt and brushes a piece of hair off his boyfriend’s forehead. “I promise. It’s just that…” Blaine’s smile drops, and his eyes dart back to the pigeon. “That pigeon is watching us.”
Kurt can’t help it – he laughs. “You’re joking, right?”
“No, Kurt, seriously,” he drops his voice, holds eye contact with Kurt. “Have you ever seen a baby pigeon?” Blaine doesn’t even give Kurt the chance to answer, just continues with his theory. “No. And that’s because the government created bird robots – aka pigeons – to spy on people.”
Kurt’s still feels laughter bubbling in his chest, but holds it back for the sake of Blaine on the verge of insanity. He takes Blaine’s face in his hands, tilts his head up so he’s looking at Kurt in the eyes and says, “There are paintings from the Middle Ages with pigeons, sweetie.”
“The government,” Blaine stage whispers, and the two of them turn back to the pigeon, who flies away as soon as they turn back to it. “It knew we were onto it. C’mon, let’s head to the restaurant.” Blaine doesn’t even hesitate, just grabs his hand and they walk to the restaurant, the conversation of robot government pigeons dropped for now but still in the back of Kurt’s head.
It’s a few days later when they finally get alone time that Blaine has another moment.
The door is closed and the lights are dimmed and Blaine’s on top of Kurt and all is right in the world. Blaine’s kissing Kurt everywhere – his lips, his jaw, his cheek, his neck. Red marks litter the skin and Kurt knows there’s probably going to be a hickey somewhere but doesn’t care right now, just cares about his (so, so little and compact) boyfriend pressing down on top of him, their legs tangled together and--
Then Blaine pulls away, a little breathless and a lot flushed. His lips are kiss-swollen and his shirt is rucked up and he looks debauched.
“NASA faked the moon landing in the 60’s. Did’cha know that?”
Kurt’s brain can’t keep up. He shakes his head a little, blinks his eyes hard because maybe this is all just a weird dream but when he opens them again, Blaine is still there, sitting on top of him and looking at him softly and questioningly.
“Wait, what?” Kurt says.
“The moon landing was a hoax. It was a set and a fan and all that stuff.” Blaine says matter-of-factly.
Kurt cocks an eyebrow and connects the dots. Okay, so his boyfriend isn’t crazy. Just into conspiracy theories.
“Can we talk about your conspiracies after we make out, please?” Kurt all but begs, reaching out and cupping Blaine’s face with a hand, running his thumb across the cupid bow of his lips. “And then you can tell me all about your theories. I promise.”
Blaine smiles and Kurt swears it got brighter in his room. “Don’t have to ask me twice,” he says and kisses Kurt again.
Yeah, his boyfriend is a complete weirdo who thinks the government is a bunch of liars (which granted, they are). But he loves him anyway. Sue him.