Chapter Text
“Hey, David,” The redhead groaned and cracked open his eyes, immediately regretting it. Bright lights suddenly filled his vision, leaving dancing spots even as he squeezed his eyes shut. He tossed onto his other side, away from the blinding morning light, haphazardly throwing the covers back on him for extra shade. Not even another second passed by as he was shaken awake.
“Get up, sleepyhead,” He could hear Gwen yawn. Another vigorous shake and he shook the covers off him, propping himself up on his elbows and gave the counselor a groggy glare. Gwen only raised an eyebrow in return. “It’s, like, 7:30. What are you still doing in bed? You’re usually up waaay earlier than this.”
Gwen turned to open the blinds, letting even more godforsaken light surge through his room. David bunched up his pillow and shoved it into his face before biting out: “Get the hell out of my tent, Gwen."
“Jeez.” Gwen sounded not so much irritated as shocked. “You really do need some rest. I’ll go take first watch of the campers for you— just sleep in for an hour or two.”
He didn’t reply but waited until Gwen’s footsteps retreated and the door shut before flopping onto his back, releasing a heavy sigh. He shut his eyes, a crabby expression still on his face.
“Watch the campers for me?” He grumbled to himself. “The fuck?”
“Goooood morning, Camp Campbell!” Max practically sprung out of his bed, a full-blown grin plastered on his face, his voice stirring awake his tent mates. Neil was the first to open his eyes, convinced that the words that just came out of Max were his dreams. Nothing more. However, as he watched with dawning horror, his usually grumpy friend doing stretches and practically bouncing on his heels, he was more convinced that Max had been abducted and replaced with some fake clone.
“Max?” Neil called, half-hidden in his covers (he was freaked), “You, uh, you feeling okay, buddy?”
“Neil?” Max frowned. “Nikki? What are you kids doing here?”
Nikki, who was now also awake, was blinking blankly at Max. “Whoa. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile that wide, Max!”
“Wait… Max? Did you just call me—” Max looked at his hands. “Oh gosh! I have ridiculously tiny hands!!”
He then grabbed at his shirt. It was a pasty yellow shirt, definitely not the shirt he fell asleep in. He grabbed his hair. At once, his fingers were ensnared in tufts of thick, tangled locks. Nikki and Neil were already walking up towards him, apprehension clear on their faces.
“Guys, listen,” Max wrung his hands, biting his lip. “I’m not Max.”
“Aha!” Neil cried out triumphantly. “I knew it all along. You’re his evil clone replacement!”
“What? No! I’m—” Any other further words were knocked out of him as Nikki launched herself at Max, wringing him by the collar of his t-shirt.
“What have you done with our friend, you fake?” Nikki snarled as Max gasped for air.
“I’m David!” Max choked out. Nikki, stunned, dropped him. Neil took a step back. “I’m in Max’s body somehow! Help!”
“You’re— David ?” Neil gasped. “Wait. If you’re in Max’s body, then is Max in–”
“Oh no.”
“Oh my god. Oh my fucking god.” David (Max) clenched the edge of the bathroom sink, drinking in the unfamiliar reflection before him. The reflection was familiar, however. What wasn’t so familiar was that it was his reflection. Max felt David’s hand touch the cold mirror. This was him. From the unruly, floppy-ass ginger hair to his pale complexion. He was his dreaded counselor. Well, this was rich. He looked identical save for his blue eyes. At least he still has that.
“How the fuck did this happen?” He yelled at the mirror, his voice strangely lower than he was used to. “Why am I stuck in David’s body? Jesus fucking Christ!”
Okay. He had to calm down. He pushed down on the sink, closing his eyes and forcing through even breaths. After rinsing his face and a change of clothes, he came out of the bathroom a little calmer. Max tried to not think about the ugly, camp shirt David would wear on a constant basis, or the meaninglessly short vest he’d wear, or the ridiculous, bright-yellow bandana he wore. Nevertheless, he wore them anyway. He had to look just like David in case someone would burst in here. Even so, he sorely missed the comfort of his baggy sweater.
He even tried to do David’s hair just like he would. It took copious amounts of hair gel, but he managed to get the floof part to stand straight up eventually. Satisfied, Max thought he did a pretty good job overall with faking appearances. Maybe Max could do this. He could fake it until he didn’t have to anymore. He could play the part of David, cheery, co-camp counselor to Camp Campbell.
Just then, a sudden, booming crash jolted Max out of his thoughts. He scrambled to his blinds, peeking out of one to see what was the commotion. It was Space Kid. Of course, it was him, the dumbass. His irritation was already climbing to murderous heights. This could be harder than he thought. Max pinched the bridge of his (David’s) nose.
“Is strangling a kid out of character for David?”
“How did this happen?” Neil demanded, his arms flailing. “I mean, it doesn’t make sense scientifically? There is no logic to this situation!”
“I don’t know, but Max and I need to hurry up and switch back bodies! Gwen can’t run the camp all by herself! A-And who’s going to play guitar for the campfire songs now?”
“Is that really what you’re worried about?” Nikki muttered.
“Okay, okay.” Neil rubbed his temples. “First, let’s go tell Gwen about the situation—”
David made a small noise of terror and shook his head vehemently. “Maybe not now, I mean not in front of the kids and everything— plus she would freak ! We should go find Max, assuming he’s in my body?”
“Then what are we waiting for? To the counselor cabin!” Nikki announced, marching out of the tent, followed hastily by the other two children.
Reaching the door to the cabin, David had to try almost jump to reach the handle. Goodness, he was so small! It would certainly take some time getting used to. The handle didn’t budge. The door must’ve been locked from inside.
“The door’s locked. Max must still be inside,” David frowned. He knocked on the door softly, pressing his ear to it. “Max? Buddy? I know you’re in there— we can fix this, just open the door!”
Neil and Nikki joined in with the knocking, calling out reassurances.
“Hey Max, you’re probably freaked but we can figure something out!”
“Hey, hey Max! How’s the view from up there? Must be a change!”
“What are you three doing?” The trio turned to find Gwen glaring at them, her arms crossed. “Breakfast started almost an hour ago. Wait— are you trying to break into my cabin?!”
“But where’s David?” Neil asked.
“Where else? He’s in the dining hall with everyone else. Where you kids need to be. Let’s go!” Gwen turned their back on them, oblivious to their gaping, and started heading back.
“Nerf, for fu— I mean, for goodness’ sake, no stabbing Space Kid! Harrison, I swear to god, the only disappearing act I want to see is that breakfast disappearing from your tray and into your throat. Nerris, the oatmeal gives you +5, I don’t know, dexterity, okay? It isn’t poison. So stop launching it at your enemies.” It was only 8:30 in the morning and Max was done with the day. Scratch that. He was done with this camp in general. Screw this shit. He’d only tripped up on swearing about a thousand times for breakfast— how was he supposed to go the whole day like this? Even the campers weren’t this dimwitted. They could already tell that David’s usual, cheery demeanor was nowhere to be seen. A few of them had already questioned if this was a re-ignition of the “Bonquisha scandal”.
Once they were all served and calmed down to a certain level, Max moodily grabbed a sloppy serving of lukewarm oatmeal and made his way to an empty table, almost tripping over his pale, skinny, long-ass legs, finally sitting down unceremoniously. He picked up a spoonful and stuck in his mouth dejectedly, lethargy already hitting him and his posture. Max knew that the counselor had perfect posture, always straight and rigid and somehow vibrating with manic energy, but screw that. As his shoulders hunched over more and more, Max found it harder and harder to keep up that army-like composure.
After a few more spoonfuls, the oatmeal quickly staled in his mouth, sticking to the roof of his mouth. He took a long gulp of orange juice, trying to choke it down. After that mess, he looked around the mess hall, trying to read the mood. The campers always seemed like a ticking time bomb, but now only a thousand more times so ever since he was put in charge. Everyone was chattering casually away, but every second that passed by was another bout of uncertainty. What was next? Another food fight? Nerf dumps oatmeal down Space Kid’s underwear? Oatmeal sculpture made by Dolf? Max swallowed the nervous lump down his throat, unsure if it was the acting up anxiety or the dry oatmeal. Jesus Christ, he never knew the life of a counselor was so freaking stressful .
He idly wondered if he should be acting more David-like. Should he sing random praises to the campers? Gross. Max would rather chug the rest of his oatmeal. Should he announce the day’s plans with excruciating detail? Nah. He didn’t even know what was on today’s agenda. He was basically tagging along with whatever Gwen’s got in store. Speaking of, where was she? She went to go find Nikki and Neil (Max had pointed out right away that they were gone), but she hasn’t been back in over ten minutes. Max swallowed again, feeling something uneasy settle into his gut. Maybe the pair ditched and went on an adventure. Without him.
Before he slipped further into sulking, the doors to the mess hall slammed open, a trio of kids rushing in with Gwen trailing behind them, looking characteristically inattentive, her fingers tapping away on her phone. Max started to break into a grin when he recognized his friends but then went slack as he saw himself. It was himself, as in Max’s body, but he was sure as hell that he wasn’t piloting his own body, so in that case, who was? Max, in David’s body, started to get up from his seat, still gawking at his original body. Max’s body was looking around, his eyes sweeping the whole room until his eyes— which were green — met Max’s blue ones.
Green eyes. Ones that were awfully familiar. Max balled his fists, his eyes widening when a sudden realization hit him. Max opened his mouth, and he wasn’t sure whether or not to either scream incoherently or let out a string of frantic curse words. Max’s body, who realized what Max was going to do, shook his head jerkily. Max closed his mouth obediently, allowing the panic to settle inside him. He watched silently as the one in Max’s body tugged at both Nikki and Neil’s sleeve, meaning for them to follow as he made his way to Max. They stopped by the kitchen to grab their bowls of oatmeal and hurried to Max’s table. When the three of them plopped down beside Max, he blinked, suddenly remembering he was halfway between sitting and standing, which probably made him look like a total dumbass. He sat down stiffly, his knees bumping the underside of the table. Max scowled, rubbing it sorely, while the one in Max’s body winced.
Neil took a careful glance around the mess hall, then elbowed Max softly. “Max. We know it’s you, man.”
Max let out a breathy exhale, some of his pent-up panic subsiding. “Oh thank god; I am so glad I didn’t have to spell it out for you.”
“You don’t look so good,” Nikki gave him a once-over, frowning. And when Max opened his mouth to bite back a retort, she shook her head. “And yeah, I know David doesn’t look good normally—”
“Hey!” The one in Max’s body protested weakly, and Nikki ignored him, wanting to continue, but Max held up his hand. She fell silent, while he shook his head again, rubbing his temples.
“Okay. Okay, wait, so. Just so it’s confirmed—” Max took another deep breath and pointed at David. “The one in my body is freakin’ David? ”
Neil rolled his eyes, his lips pressing into a thin frown. “Who did you think? You’re in David’s body. Where would David be?”
Max gestured vaguely, shrugging. “I don’t know? Like maybe I possessed David and he’s just, like, still in here or some shit but I’m the one controlling the body. Ugh, whatever, it doesn’t matter. I’ve got a hell of a headache.”
David leaned forward, concern in his features. “I’ve got Tylenol in the cabin, Max—”
“Oh yeah. I chugged those.”
“Max!” David sighed exasperatedly. He opened his mouth again, no doubt to give him a lecture on medication overdose, but he thought better of it. “Uh, nevermind. We need to figure out how to get back into our own bodies.”
Max snorted. “No kidding. You wanna know how many times I bumped my head into something? Too many times for it to only be eight in the morning.”
David wrung his hands, glancing back at the campers and then at Max. “No one knows, right, Max?”
“David, you’d be so freaking proud of me. I managed not to swear— well— fully swear at any of these morons all morning. And I kept them from killing each other. Plus, did you see how there is not one speck of oatmeal on the floor? You’re welcome.”
Nikki side-eyed the wall to the right of her, grinning when she saw the stray speck of discolored oatmeal stuck to the wall. Max rolled his eyes, hunching over further. “Okay. I did say floors, not walls. Nerris started flicking her oatmeal at people.”
They lapse into silence, David and Neil putting spoonfuls into their mouth, while Nikki played with her breakfast, slapping the bottom of her spoon on the surface of the oatmeal over and over again. After a while, Neil muttered, “I still can’t figure out how you guys switched. There is no way in science that this was possible.”
“Maybe it’s some kind of hocus pocus crap,” Nikki wondered, her eyes widening with glee. “Ooh, let’s ask Harrison. He’d know what to do.”
To this, Max choked. “No fucking way. I’m not letting him mess with me after that— you know!”
Neil traced the grooves of the wooden table with a finger, letting out a breath of frustration and mumbled something about damn illogical magic . Nikki frowned and crossed her arms. “Hey, I’m just throwing out possibilities! Or, I mean, you could ask…”
Nikki arches an eyebrow, her lips quirking up into a smirk. Max shifted in his seat, not liking the amusement reflected in his friend’s eyes. “What? Ask who?”
“Quartermaster.” This time, it was Neil’s turn to choke, dry-heaving already put-down oatmeal. He shook his head vehemently, squawking.
"Seriously?”
Max considered this. While Harrison had personally scarred him, Quartermaster had done some certainly… questionable and potentially eye-bleaching things, but what the hell. And compared to spending the rest of his lousy days on Earth in David’s body? Over his own goddamn body. However, when realizing they had sunk so low as to seek out that crazy old guy’s help, he fought the urge to slam his head into the table. Desperate times call for desperate measures, he rationalized. And after this was all said and done, he swore never to bring this nightmare up again.
“What the hell,” Max bit out, folding his arms and resting them on the table. “Let’s ask him and get this over with.”
Nikki pumped her fists, clearly excited for another bizarre exchange with the old man, while David visibly paled, and Neil just shook his head resignedly.