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Gavroche had enough. He was truly done, with all of this bullshit. Adults were supposed to be the smart ones, weren’t they? And although he knew his sister's friends had the ability to be stupid, he had never thought all of them to be such idiots.
All of them were sat in their living room and damn the tension was tangible. Really, Gavroche had just wanted to play video games in peace and even he noticed it. It was hilariously frustrating and he wondered, how his sister got through this. Hell, even Montparnasse was here, because he was stupid and he didn’t even like most of the people in the room.
He just liked one of them very much.
And that was why he was sitting between Enjolras and Jehan, looking very uncomfortable as he listened to Enjolras go on about something very important. When Jehan, nudged him and showed him something on his phone, you could see how Montparnasse’s cool expression of arrogant coolness fell and he was even slightly blushing. Not that Jehan noticed, because well he was blushing just as much when Montparnasse whispered something in his ear.
But surprisingly they weren’t even the worst. No, no! Combeferre and Courfeyrac had taken a seat in an armchair Courfeyrac on the other man’s lap, despite there being enough space on the sofas. Gavroche was sure they hadn’t talked to anybody, but each other for the last hour, instead they were giggling softly and the way Courfeyrac was looking at Combeferre could only be described as disgusting.
If you asked a fourteen-year-old.
Bahorel and Feuilly’s playfighting had also turned into shameless flirting. In the past, they had been kinda competitive in whatever they were doing, but the way they were now sitting in front of Gavroche’s Playstation was speaking volumes. The shoves had gotten softer, the touches more lingering. They didn’t always end up giving each other black eyes when one had apparently cheated. In Gavroche’s opinion, they should just give each other hickeys instead of black eyes.
Across the room, Enjolras had gotten up and his voice had taken a dangerous tone. Yeah, well, Gavroche could only roll his eyes at him and Grantaire. This has been going on for so long, he wouldn’t be surprised if they already were fucking. (But they weren’t because Grantaire still came over often enough and whined about it.)
And damn the worst was definitely, the two people, who should be happy because they already were a couple. But NO!
Cosette and Marius were sitting on the second sofa and both of them were clearly watching Éponine as she threw popcorn at Grantaire and Enjolras. Cosette said something to Marius that made him look at her in shock and shake his head. Cosette only huffed in response. Yeah, Gavroche didn’t trust this thing. Especially because he noticed the way Éponine looked at Cosette and Marius. Nope, he didn’t like seeing his sister this vulnerable.
Apparently, the only sane people in the room except for him were Musichetta, Joly, and Bossuet, who were seemingly oblivious to the emotional kindergarten, that was happening around them.
So Gavroche had to take matters into his hands.
“Listen up, I’ve got an idea!”, he shouted, making the adults look up. “I’m in.”, Courfeyrac responded instantly and Bahorel nodded.
“You don’t even know what it is.”, Enjolras commented.
“Ah, but they know the kid is smart.”, Grantaire interjected and Enjolras got ready to probably lecture him about… something very serious.
Before this could happen, Gavroche spoke up.
“My idea is great, I was thinking about a Secret Santa exchange!”, he exclaimed and then got up. “I already have everything prepared. Anf before you get your hopes up, Feuilly, I am going to draw the lots!”
Of course, he did, because he had an amazing plan. Éponine would regret the day she had given him this kids kit for street magic. It was easy for him to pair the right people. He hoped they would take the chance and finally do something about their situation.
It only took a dipper wave of his hand, and all of them believed he had picked the slips of paper randomly. He wondered if he could make Enjolras believe in fate.
“Oh, but before I forget it. Don’t tell anybody who you got. Or I will personally hunt you down.”, he looked at Marius with a sharp grind and the man shrieked. Good, he wanted to scare him. One after the other took their name and every single one of them looked the exact same when they looked at the name. Eyes wide, blush creeping up their cheeks, mouth open. It was so obvious, but none of them noticed.
The only ones who were completely cool with all of it, were Joly, Bossuet, and Musichetta. When the others had gone back to their conversations, although most of them seemed to be somewhere else with their minds, they cornered him.
“So,” Musichetta said, holding up their slips of paper and only raising an eyebrow at Gavroche’s disappointed look.
“What are you trying to do here?”
“I am trying to help them. I can’t see them pining much longer before I violently smash their heads together. All of them.”
As if to underline his argument, Enjolras shouting made them turn around to where he was standing in the middle of the room. He and Grantaire were so close to each other, their chests almost touching, Gavroche really wanted to shove their heads together.
“Yeah, okay I can see your point.”, Joly said with a sigh. “But what about…?”, he gestured a bit helplessly at Marius and Cosette, who were back to staring at Éponine with a lovestruck expression on their faces.
“Don’t worry I have.. wait so you do see what’s going on?”, Gavroche spluttered.
The three in front of him snorted in unison. It was a mix of endearing and creepy.
“Of course we do, but we don’t want to meddle. Hopefully, your plan works and we don’t have to do anything anymore.”, Joly said with another sigh as he let his gaze wander over his friends.
But true, figuring something out for Cosette and Marius had been hard. He needed both of them to give a gift to Éponine, and he hoped they wouldn’t talk about it. Since Éponine’s feelings for Marius were kind of common knowledge, he decided to have her draw Cosette’s name. And for Marius, well Gavroche had decided to make sure Marius wouldn’t dare to treat his sister badly.
*
Two weeks later it was the night. Time for part two of Gavroche’s plan.
Once again all of them were sat in the living room, but this time they all of them were visibly nervous. The air was full of tension. Montparnasse was checking his hair every minute, while Jehan was fiddling with the fringes of his sweater. Courfeyrac was fidgeting, while Combeferre next to him was so lost in his thoughts he didn’t even think about stopping him. Bahorel and Feuilly were laughing way too loudly, bumping each other with their shoulders. Not even Enjolras was able to act normal. For once he didn’t argue with Grantaire, he was just sitting there looking a bit pale.
And Cosette and Marius were… late.
They burst into their flat five minutes later, Cosette looking a bit stressed out and Marius looking like he had cried.
“I am sorry, Marius was feeling a bit weird.” She patted him on the shoulder and Marius, who wasn’t in the state to talk much just nodded and sat down next to her.
Well, time to get the show started.
“Since this was my brilliant idea, I would say hmm. Montparnasse you start.”, Gavroche pointed at him with a devilish smile.
“Why me?”, the man groaned and he glanced at Jehan shortly.
“Because I don’t like you, that’s why.”
Montparnasse handed Jehan his present and the other man looked a bit shocked at first before he broke into a smile. Before Jehan opened the present he leaned forward and whispered something into the other man’s ear, which made him go red in the face. Then he got up laughing, took the present, his present, and Montparnasse’s hand and dragged him into the hallway.
“Huh, that was a surprise. Guess Jehan had luck.”, Courfeyrac said, looking at them with a stunned expression. Gavroche noticed how his fidgeting had stopped abruptly.
“You go next Courfeyrac.”, he said, trying hard to hide the glee in his voice.
Courfeyrac and Combeferre proved to be easy. Both of them opened their gifts and then just sat there smiling at each other dumbly. After a while, Courfeyrac took Combeferre’s hand into his and snuggled up to him. They would be fine.
Now it was time for the more difficult people. Enjolras and Grantaire both were likely to fuck all of this up. Oe wrong word and they would end shooting instead of kissing. But Gavroche had done what he could, now was their time to get it together. And it went surprisingly smooth. Enjorlas took the present from Grantaire, opened it and let out a strangled laugh.
“Are you crazy? This must have been so hard to find. Fuck, I could kiss you right now.”, he broke off and stilled when he noticed what he had said. Grantaire looked at him unbelievingly at first, before he asked: “Really?”
Enjolras swallowed, speechless for once only nodded and Grantaire laughed softly before he crossed the distance between them and kissed the other man softly.
The others cheered, still oblivious to Gavroche’s brilliant scheming. Bahorel and Feuilly hollered the loudest and Gavroche decided it was time for them to get their shit together.
He turned to Bahorel, but the other man preempted him.
“Bro, we accidentally found out, so you better not hope for any grand gesture and love confession.” Feuilly next to him laughed and laid his head on Bahorel’S shoulder. Well, that was a start at last.
Meanwhile, Gavroche was sure everybody had gotten behind his plan. Everybody but Marius that was. The man spoke up for the first time this evening.
“Okay, how about Éponine is the next one?”
Then he more or less shoved his present at her. She took it with a confused look.
“Wait, what does that mean?”, Cosette piped in and held up her present.
“I drew Éponine.”, she added looking at Marius and then Gavroche.
“No no, I drew her. I am sure!”, Marius took out his wallet and showed them the slip of paper with Éponine’s name scrawled on it.
“Gavroche, what have you done?” The woman in question looked at him with a murderous expression. “I also have your present Cosette.”, she said with a slight blush on her cheek, not meeting the other woman’s eyes.
“I have done something unlike all of you morons!” He jumped up from his seat and walked over to Courfeyrac and Combeferre.
“They have been acting like a couple for months, they just can’t say it out loud.”
Then he walked over to Enjolras and Grantaire.
“Your arguing is the most obvious display of sexual tension I have ever seen and it is terrible seeing both of you pine and hear Grantaire talk about how amazing Enjolras is.” Grantaire wanted to protest, but Enjolras stopped him. “I would love to hear that.”, he said with a wink before he kissed the other man.
“Jehan had been writing terrible love poems for months and damn I get it Montparnasse is as black as a raven.”, Gavroche said loud enough he was sure to be heard from where the two of were probably making out in the hallway.
“And you!”, he pointed at Feuilly and Bahorel. “Stop acting like kids, pulling pigtails or whatever it is that you are doing isn’t going to help. If you love the challenge, then I don’t know, challenge each other on who is the better lay.” Bahorel started coughing violently and Feuilly patted his back laughing. Gavroche was sure he heard him whisper: “I would be.”
Finally, he turned to where Marius and Cosette were sitting. Éponine next to them had her head in her hands, laughing.
“You two. Ask her out already, you know she likes you. Marius, stop being such a noodle and act up. But if you hurt her I will kill you. Also, I am your secret Santa. Your present is a chameleon, her name is Mary.”
After that Gavroche watched pleased how Cosette talked to Éponine with an earnest but friendly expression. Marius came up to him.
“So about that chameleon, did you say the truth? I always wanted to have one!”, he looked at Gavroche with so much glee in his eyes. And really? This was the most important part of his speech?
“Yeah, I’ll get her for you.”
Somewhere from their place on the sofa Musichetta piped up.
“I know, nobody cares, but we got each other as secret Santa, because, you know we are in a fully functioning relationship.”
Courfeyrac threw a mistletoe at her.