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“Come on!”
“Yeah, stop dragging your feet! We’re gonna miss the lights!” Your two Midgardian friends complained, dragging you through the huddled mass of people.
Your thoughts were elsewhere, but you tried to keep up a cheerful demeanor as they pulled you next to the Rockefeller tree to view the light show across the way on the Saks building.
Both were trying to take pictures, but you preferred to just watch. Music swelled joyfully, and children pushed through the crowd to get to the front for a better view. People around you were laughing and complaining about the crowds and trying to get pictures with the crowd, and despite your recently found love for Christmas in New York, you had never felt such a disconnect from the mortals surrounding you.
Trying to smile, you turned to your friends. “I’m going over there quickly to get a better view of the ice rink.” You told them, gesturing to an area far away before weaving through the crowd to watch the skaters. Neither friend knew of your Aesir heritage; the pair had probably never even heard of Asgard before. The thought made you smile. Midgard was so beautifully primitive, so ignorant of the universe around them. In a way, they were like children, and you could not help but be fond of their race as a whole.
You had come down to Midgard after Loki’s death, finding the event too traumatic to stay on Asgard. As children, you were friends. As you grew, you became lovers. There was no one you trusted more. You had spent centuries together, and in the span of a few days, he was gone.
Recently though, you had begun to suspect that he had survived the fall from the Bifrost. In the past few weeks, you had started to sense his presence around you. Tonight, it felt especially strong, and you were sure he would contact you. By leaving your friends, you hoped that he would be more likely to appear. It was just a matter of time.
Gazing down at the ice rink, you noticed that yet another couple was getting engaged. Despite the amount of times you’d seen proposals here in the past few weeks, you still had to smile. They looked so happy together, both women crying as one knelt down before the other. Vaguely, you realized that you should be cheering for them with everyone else, but you couldn’t seem to build up the energy to do so.
“They’re a lovely couple, those mortals.” Murmured a masculine voice into your ear. Without turning around, you knew who it was.
“Hello, Loki.”
You were hardly surprised when you were suddenly transported to the top of a nearby building, though you couldn’t recognize which one it was. Still, you could see the couple in the ice rink, and that comforted you slightly.
“My friends will wonder where I am.” You observed.
“I’m sure they will.” He replied smoothly from behind you. You kept your eyes fixed on the rink.
“I think this is my new happy place,” You began, transfixed by the swirling masses of mortals below. “New York at Christmastime. There’s a certain beauty and peace here. I have never felt anything like it. You can just get lost in the masses. It’s a good hiding place.”
He took a few steps forward, still behind you, but now in close proximity. On the back of your neck, you could feel the icy swirl of his breath and the wind. Idly, you noticed that you were shivering.
“It is a good hiding place, for most. But you cannot hide from me.” His words were soft, caressing, like a love poem.
“I never could, at least not for long. You were always good at hiding from me, though.” There was a sense of sadness in your voice, and you were positive that if you looked, his brow would be furrowed in distress. You knew each other well. Still, you did not turn around. The engaged couple had faded again into the circling crowd of skaters.
“You’re displeased that I’m here.” He stated it so certainly, but you knew it was a question.
“No, I’m not,” Finally, you turned to face him, taking his image in for the first time in forever. “I’ve been waiting for you. I’m surprised it took you this long to come.”
“I had to make sure you would miss me.” He quipped lightly, the small smile on his face not reaching his eyes. He looked exhausted and defeated, and you stretched up a hand to touch his cheek in reassurance. He jerked a bit when your skin met his, but he did not pull away.
You had missed him. You had thought him dead, and you told him so.
“Death? You underestimate me.” He joked. You didn’t smile, and you let your hand drop from his face.
“You overestimate yourself. You aren’t invincible. It’s been the longest year of my life, and I have lived as many of them as you.”
“I didn't mean to cause you anguish.”
“Yet you did,” There was no accusation in your tone, just facts stated. “Does Thor know you live?”
“Not yet.” He bristled at the mention of his brother.
“He mourns you.”
“I did not ask him to do so.”
“A dead man makes no requests except for grief from those he loved.”
“I am not a dead man.”
“He does not know that. I did not know that for certain until now.”
“I’m sorry.” He murmured, taking both of your hands into his own and kissing the knuckles. For the first time, you allowed the tears that had been pooling in your eyes to fall.
“Where did you go?” You whispered. “Why didn’t you come back to Asgard? To me?”
“I have been working for another. One far more powerful than any being I have met. He plans to rule the universe, and has promised me a throne. Here.”
Your brows furrowed and you pulled your hands away from his grasp. “You mean to conquer this world without the Midgardians’ consent?”
“I will rule as a benevolent god. I plan to bring them a world of peace.” He justified, but you didn’t believe it.
“This is not like you, Loki. I know that you want to rule, but I never thought you to be so power-hungry. You should serve as a king, not a dictator. They will not accept you.” You protested angrily, and his eyes darkened.
“They will accept me. Those who refuse to kneel will be punished.”
“And by that you mean killed!” You cried angrily.
“If necessary, then yes,” He informed coldly. Hot tears were streaming down your face, and his expression softened as he wiped them away. “I do not wish to harm them.”
“Then don’t,” You pleaded with him, grabbing the hand wiping your tears and pressing it to your cheek. “Come away with me. We do not have to return to Asgard if that is not what you desire. We can live here. We can find some other world where no one has heard of either of us.”
“He’ll kill me,” Loki muttered in fear. “He has already told me. There is nowhere I can run, nowhere I can hide. I don’t have a choice in this.”
“Of course you do. There is always a choice.” You insisted in a whisper.
“I wish I were as optimistic as you.”
“Please don’t leave me again. I just got you back. I cannot bear it if you go again.” You begged him.
Bending down, he kissed the tears off of your cheeks. Then, gently, he brought his lips down to meet yours. You kissed him back in desperation, hoping that you could get across how much you needed him to stay. Pulling away, he leaned his forehead against yours.
“You could come with me. We could rule this world together, as equals.” He begged.
“You know I can’t do that.”
“I thought I would try anyway.” He smiled ruefully, mourning the future with you he would be leaving behind. Tenderly, he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.
You looked at him with hurt eyes. “So is this goodbye, then?”
“Norns, I hope not,” He chuckled sadly. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“If you go through with this, you will have to learn to do without me,” You asserted sadly, and your heart twisted at the crestfallen look that came across his face. “I love these people, Loki.”
“More than you love me?” He snapped.
You shook your head with a sad smile. “No. I don’t think it’s possible for me to love another the way I love you. But you have made your choice.”
He nodded somberly at your words, suddenly stiff and unreachable. The tender look had gone from his face as he stepped back from you. “It seems both have.”
He disappeared in a swirl of magic, and you completely broke down into a fit of sobs. The man you loved was gone.