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"I think I'm falling in love with you."
"Dude, come on, don't say you 'think', it makes it sound like you haven't made your mind up."
"But I have made my mind up!"
"I know that Charlie, but she doesn't!"
"Oh god. I should have written this down."
"Charlie, you can't read or write."
"Oh shit, yeah."
"God dammit, I don't even care about this anymore. Good luck or whatever."
"Wait, Mac! What if she doesn't say it back?"
"If she doesn't say it back?
You're fucked."
Charlie hung up abruptly, unsatisfied with Mac's bullshit advice. He might not always get what people are saying, but he knows for a fact that any advice to come out of Mac, Dennis, or Frank's mouth is garbage. This is exactly why he was so grateful to have Dee around.
And there they were again, the wild butterflies welling in his stomach as he bounded up the seemingly endless flight of stairs up to Dee's apartment.
He took a deep breath in, and out, shivering his body to get rid of his nerves. He could confidently say there has never been another time in his life he had ever felt this way. He wanted to yell and bolt and cry and laugh out loud at himself because this was all so dumb and ridiculous. It's him and Dee for christ sake. But nevertheless, he recited his speech once more for the millionth time, before tapping the door three times gently, hands trembling.
The door swung open, revealing Dee looking, well, beautiful. Charlie admired her for a second before he started, determined to just get it over with and deal with the consequences later. She was worth the risk, he decided.
"Sweet Dee, today is our third month anniversary of banging. I mean dating, dating. I meant dating. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I've been doing some thinking, and-
"I'm in love with you Charlie."
Silence. For thirty long, uncomfortable seconds. Charlie stared at her, mouth hanging open as he had froze mid-sentence.
"What?"
"I'm in love with you, Charlie. I've known for a long time and I'm sorry if that freaks you out or anything, and you definitely don't have to say it back, but it sounded like you were gonna break up with me and I just kinda panicked and-"
"DEE."
Dee's rambling was cut short, and it was her turn to stare dumbfounded.
"That's literally what I came here to say!"
She blinked at him, stunned.
"Wait, what? You did?"
"Yes! I had this whole speech and everything planned."
"Oh, my, god, Charlie I'm so sorry! I totally interrupted you and ruined it! Go ahead, finish what you were gonna say. Pretend I wasn't listening to you."
She quickly ran her fingers through her wild hair and stood a little straighter. Her eyes were damp and her breathing was erratic and even to Charlie it was obvious she was freaking out and panicking. Charlie on the other hand, hadn't stopped smiling. His huge grin was the only thing that made Dee crack, and instantly they both burst into fits of laughter, to the point neither of them could breathe.
"We're so fucking stupid."
"Yeah, we are."
As their laughter died down, Charlie stepped forward. He held her face in his hands as he kissed her deeply, pure happiness radiating off both of them. They smiled into it, and for God knows how long they made out in the open doorway of Dee's apartment.
Dee broke apart first, by just an inch, their faces still so close together they shared the same breaths.
"For the record, you didn't actually say it back, asshole."
Charlie laughed breathily, and leaned back to look at her face properly. He swiped some stray hair from her face and kissed her nose, making her laugh, nervously high pitched.
"I know I don't talk or read or write so good, and uh, I don't know a lot of stuff, but I know one thing. I know that I love you a lot, Dee."
She tried to pass off a casual laugh, but he saw the tears welling in her eyes, threatening to fall.
"I love you too, Charlie."
Part of him couldn't wait to tell Mac about this, to tell everyone. He wanted everyone to know that finally, finally, he got the girl. But mostly, he wanted to stay in this tiny, brief moment forever. Dee wrapped her arms around his neck and breathed a sigh of relief. She thought about how different how life was now, how the waitress would react, and a million other things. But mostly, she decided to just focus on one thing. How unbelievably, unexplainably, unequivocally happy she was.
"I love you, more than you could ever know."