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Published:
2017-12-22
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Even In Death

Summary:

Aelin, a Midgardian woman who managed to capture the heart of the God of Mischief while serving his time on Earth as punishment for his crimes in New York, is still mourning the death of her beloved after Loki's body is discovered on Svartalfheim. However, unbeknownst to her, Loki had taken form of the Allfather and in the process fulfilling his intentions of becoming the ruler of those he believed to be below him.

Loki listens to her emotional piano performance and doesn't know whether or not to tell her after seeing her in despair.

Notes:

This story takes place just before Ragnarok in Asgard (while Thor is away).
Aelin is my OC, but I guess you could consider her an AU Sigyn.
This story was heavily inspired by Evanescence's 2016 version of Even In Death and I implore you to take a listen because I don't think my description of the emotion conveyed in the song does it justice. You can find it here https://youtu.be/d_xEVzTDN3c

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Despite this not being the first time Loki had 'died', Aelin was convinced that he was gone after seeing his body lay lifeless and cold before his funeral.

Being as musically gifted as she was, she always found herself expressing her emotions on the glass piano in one of the kingdom's grand halls, where the resonance of the hammers caressing the strings would bounce against the walls and reverberate throughout the castle. Loki would often hear the distant sound of Aelin's expressive vocals, accompanied by the playing of the piano and feel a pang in his chest, for his beloved's heart was broken because of his false death.

One day Loki was wandering through the corridors of the kingdom out of boredom when the familiar sound of a piano caught him off guard. Stopping to take a peak through the two huge doors to the hall that had been left ajar, he saw Aelin at the piano playing two notes repeatedly followed by a three higher notes. The notes she were playing were certainly not belonging to a major key, but ever since Loki's death, happy and hope filled songs seemed to fade out of existence and were quickly replaced with slow and sad ballads that allowed her to express her sorrow and anguish.

Being a frequent visitor to Earth, Aelin always came back to Asgard with a new song she had learned while home in Midgard. It was something Loki had always looked forward to after she returned, listening to songs she had fallen in love with, played by the women he had fallen in love with. After the events on Svartalfheim, he had tried stay away and prevent himself from listening in to his beloved's playing. He even had attempted to convince himself that it was because he didn't want feel somewhat perverted for watching her, however he knew deep down it was because his heart would break at the sight of her alone, and that the feeling of guilt for not telling her about his survival would overwhelm him.

Aelin played the same notes, dark and somber a couple of times over before she began with the lyrics...

 

"Give me a reason to believe that you're gone,

I see your shadows so I know they're all wrong."

 

Loki quickly came to realise that this song was most definitely about him. It had been just over a year since he assumed the position of the king, and in that time he had been slipping out of his glamour now and then so he could snuff out the feelings of dysphoria slowly creeping up on him. He even dared to visit Aelin's quarters in the dead of the night while the palace's guards were off duty and the servants were sound asleep, just to see her, even if it was for a brief moment. Little did he know that Aelin had awoken during one of his little visits just in time to hear the softness of his voice say "Oh my beloved, I'm truly sorry." and catch his silhouette walking out of her chamber doors, however she assumed what she was seeing was a dream and never second guessed it. Loki was gone, and there was no way of changing that.

 

"Moonlight on the soft brown earth,

It leads me to where you lay"

 

In Asgard, funerals were rather different to funerals in Midgard. Asgardians are gods who live for centuries, bought up as the realm's little soldiers. Funerals were exceptionally rare, especially ones held for Asgardian royalty and no one had expected one so soon after the death of Loki's mother, Queen Frigga.

The bodies of the fallen are placed in a decorated boat and cast out to the sea. Asgard's finest archer fires a single lit arrow onto the boat, engulfing it in flames. Instead of falling off the abrupt edge of the realm, the soul of the fallen dissipates into the air as the boat tumbles down into the darkness below. Lanterns are released and they follow the soul high into the night sky, filling the cold air with a warm ambient glow. "When you're surrounded by darkness, it makes it rather difficult to be able to see ahead clearly. We use the lanterns to light the pathway for us in times of darkness. It's a metaphor, and an ancient tradition." Thor had told Aelin during Loki's funeral.

 

"They took you away from me,

But now I'm taking you home."

 

She paused for a few seconds, audibly holding back a sob that threatened to erupt from within her.

 

"I will stay forever here with you, My love.

The softly spoken words you gave me,

Even in Death our love goes on."

 

Aelin's voice was soft, almost a whisper as she sang the words carefully and meaningfully. Already Loki found that he was at war with himself. Hearing the lyrics and seeing how woeful she was was pushing him further and further towards revealing himself to her. Fear was the only thing holding him back: Fear that she would hurt even more upon finding out that he had been there all along and feeling outcasted; Fear that she would assume that he chose ruling over a kingdom rather than being with her.

Fear that she would leave.

 

"Some say I'm crazy for my love,

Hmm, my love

But no bonds can hold me from your side,

Oh my love."

 

Loki finally realised the intensity of her devotion. That she would go to the four corners of the world, would wait a thousand years and would even die for him. Loki knew that if Aelin found out that he was alive without her knowledge, it would pain her greatly; much more than any physical damage ever could. After all, he knew exactly how it felt to be betrayed. But in that moment he knew that she would forgive him. It would take months, maybe years, but he would do anything to earn her forgiveness. To have his beloved rule by his side one day. All the thoughts rushing through his head made Loki drop his Odin glamour, exposing himself to anyone who might round the corner to the corridor.

 

"They don't know you can't leave me,

They don't hear you singing to me.

 

I will stay forever here with you,

My love.

The softly spoken words you gave me,

Even in Death our love goes on...

...and I can't love you,

Any more than I do."

 

Aelin was almost shouting the lyrics as she was fighting with a mix of emotions. Anger, fear, determination and overwhelming sadness. Angry that her love had been taken from her so soon and she was helpless against the hateful Elf army of Svartalfheim. Fear of the future and how she would cope without her beloved by her side. Determination to remain loyal to her soulmate: the only man she had ever truly loved. Finally, the overwhelming sadness that had engulfed her the moment the news was broken to her.

Aelin picked up the pace of her playing playing more notes in faster succession, never missing a single key or hesitating in the slightest and as the piano solo finished, her playing didn't slow up and she continued to sing the final chorus:

 

"I will stay forever here with you,

My love.

The softly spoken words you gave me,

Even in Death our love goes on.

and I can't love you,

Any more than I do."

 

As the ballad was coming to an end, she began playing the same notes she was at the beginning until the song came back to its key signature and the final chord resonated throughout the hall until it died out. Silence. Loki froze. The courage he'd worked up to walk in and announce himself had disappeared. 'What's the worst that could happen? She'll leave? That's better than having her being tied to here like a ghost, miserable while you rule for thousands of years.' he told himself, and it was true.

After arriving in Asgard as a new citizen, Loki had her taken to Asgard's greatest doctors and scientists who held all the secrets to eternal life, and after weeks of therapy and medical poking and prodding, Aelin had been given the gift of immortality, meaning she could rule by her lover's side for the centuries to come. If she was going to be here for as long as him it would be more painful to hold on than to let go, but if somehow she found it in her heart to forgive him...

Loki's thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the sound of footsteps and clanking armour around the corner. His quick reflexes allowed him to swiftly slip into a glamour of a rather short and plump looking man, complete with a full set of armour, weapons and a helmet that covered his face. Three guards rounded the corner carrying their shields in one hand and swords on their backs as they made their way down to where Loki stood outside the grand hall. As they approached they noticed him standing guard outside the door.

"You wouldn't by any chance have happened to see the king would you?" One of them asked.

"Why yes I have." Loki replied in a deep gruff voice. "He ordered me to stand guard of the grand hall here. I believe it was because he didn't want anyone disturbing Lady Aelin."

"Any idea where he went?"

"After he requested that I stay here, he made his way over to his chambers." Loki lied.

Loki knew he could pull this off. Odin's chambers were at the other end of the palace, so he could easily snap himself over there with his teleportation tricks.

"My thanks." replied the guard. The three of them started walking hastily round the corner of the corridor in the direction of the chambers and Loki once again slipped out of his glamour. Taking a peek inside the grand hall once again, he saw Aelin was still sitting at the piano looking down at the keys as if in hope that they'd whisper words of reassurance.

'Damned sheep, always in need of direction' he thought as he disappeared and reappeared now in Odin's chambers.

'I will return to you, my love.'

Notes:

This was intended to be a one shot but I might continue if any good idea come to mind. Thank you for reading, my lovelies <3