Chapter Text
Bludhaven was quieter tonight than it had been for the past few weeks, if not months. Back when he’d worked primarily in Gotham, Dick would have been grateful, but in his new city and in this new era, it seemed… indicative of something.
Dick hadn’t spoken to Robin in weeks. He felt bad about it, really, and he knew Tim understood, but he also knew that Tim needed him, even though he would never–
“Hey there, tiger,” a voice from behind said, low and rough.
Dick tensed at first, wondering how he’d managed to let himself get snuck up on, then relaxed, if only minutely. “Aren’t you supposed to be the tiger?” he asked her.
Artemis, or Tigress, was standing with her crossbow to her hip and a bottle in her other hand. “That’s right,” she admitted. “I’m not exactly used to it… after so many years as Artemis, it feels weird.”
“Your whole life as Artemis,” Dick pointed out, ignoring his inner want to be alone. “You didn’t even change your name when you became a hero.”
“It fit the theme,” Artemis said, stepping toward him. Now Dick could see the label on the bottle she was holding – it was vodka, probably a housewarming gift from when she and Wally had moved in together. Artemis’s sister had given them a lot of alcohol.
“You know Bette Kane thought you were Batgirl for a while?” Dick asked.
“I think I did,” Artemis said thoughtfully. “She asked me some prying questions about what I did with my nights. I played it off by telling her about my sex life.”
“That makes sense,” Dick said, though he didn’t share why. “What are you doing here, Tigress?”
He almost winced. That was his Nightwing voice, not really fit for longtime friends like Artemis. It was a habit and a fallback.
“Easy,” Artemis said, though she wasn’t really one to talk about easiness. “I thought you might want to talk.”
It was only there that she faltered, even if it was less uncertainty and more guardedness. That was how Artemis operated, especially in the old days, with harsh words and shifting eyes and defensiveness. There was a word for it other than traumatized, Dick knew, but he couldn’t think of it.
“Talk about Wally,” Dick assumed, and only just managed for it to not sound accusing.
He and Artemis had the same problems, sometimes.
“Or anything,” Artemis said. “I’m dying here, Nightwing.”
Dick sighed, and made a choice.
He said, “Are we drinking from the bottle or should I get glasses?”
“Me and Wally met as superheroes first,” Dick said as he passed the opened bottle to Artemis. “He was just starting out as Kid Flash and Barry wanted him to meet the kid who started the kid sidekick thing.” Dick laughed. “He was a little disappointed that I was younger than him.”
“What did he expect?” Artemis asked.
“I’d started years before him,” Dick said, “so it makes sense he thought I would be older or at least his age. He got over it pretty quickly, though, after I kicked his ass in a training spar.”
“Of course you did,” Artemis muttered, smiling almost darkly. “You always wiped the floor with him.”
“He didn’t start thinking ahead for years,” Dick reminisced. “I felt like the moment he got mature enough to commit to crime fighting fully, he quit.”
He paused and almost sighed. He hadn’t meant to be criticizing of Wally, or Artemis for that matter, but making fun of him was so ingrained in his brain it was hard to turn that part of him off. Best friends made fun of each other. They’d always done that. Why the hell did respecting the dead have to change that?
To Dick’s surprise, though, Artemis chuckled. “He was pretty bone-headed most of the time for a few years there,” she acknowledged. “It annoyed me so much when I first met him. He was so cute, and I saw him be serious and mature when it mattered, but then he’d just… revert back to that immature, impulsive speedster.”
“Yeah…” Dick stared out into the night as he took the alcohol back from Artemis and took another drink of it. “You really helped him mature, you know.”
Artemis was silent. “We’ve all changed a lot,” she said after a moment, which wasn’t exactly a response, but it was close enough. “I’d like to think that it’s been for the better, but then I look at M’gann, and everything Kaldur’s been through… and you.”
“Me?” Dick asked.
Artemis sighed, a sharp and heavy sound. “I don’t know how to explain it,” she started, then shook her head and took the bottle back from him. “When you were Robin, you knew what you wanted to be. You told me one time that you weren’t going to be Batman, and I believed it. I believe it now, Dick, of course, but… you’ve gotten close, haven’t you?”
Dick didn’t know what to say. He wanted to deny it, say no, I’ve done what I had to, but wasn’t that what Bruce always did? What was necessary, what he had to do? Dick had never wanted to be Batman, not since that disastrous training exercise, but his actions during the invasion had, in retrospect, been far too Batman-like for his taste.
He’d expected so much of his older self, as a kid. Dick was turning twenty in a few months and he was…
“I miss Wally,” he said, instead of any of that. His voice was barely not choking, barely kept together.
Artemis exhaled harshly. “Me too,” she admitted. “It’s… I keep thinking I’ll see him.”
“I told him my identity a year before we started the team,” Dick told her. “Batman didn’t want me to, but I did. Wally tried to keep it from Batman, that I told, I mean, but of course it didn’t work. Anyway Iris yelled at Batman to let me have friends and Batman let it go. Personally I think Alfred told him off, too.”
Artemis smiled. “Remember when I went over to your house?” she asked. “When I still didn’t know your identity.”
“Well, you did by the end of the night,” Dick said, smiling for the first time in awhile. “It probably wasn’t the best idea to invite you over the same night Bruce was out on a business trip. In my defense, he definitely would’ve been mad at me if he knew.”
“He was mad at you anyway,” Artemis pointed out. “You were awful at keeping a secret identity.”
“Only because I didn’t want to,” Dick said. “I was fifteen and most of my friends didn’t even know my name. The charm wore off after awhile. Though you might be right about that, now that I think about it. Robin figured it out way too easily.”
“How exactly did that happen?” Artemis asked. She probably knew that talking about his little brother was one of Dick’s favorite pastimes.
Dick leaned on his wrist and reached over for the bottle again. He wished Artemis had brought two, then vetoed that wish for a couple reasons. One was that he still needed to get home and probably fight some crime, and the other was that it was Artemis’s housewarming gift, and she’d been meant to share it with Wally.
Who the hell was supposed to be his best friend now that Wally was dead?
“He saw me do a flip,” Dick said.
“You are the best storyteller,” Artemis said, putting a hand to scratch under her eye. “I know you did a flip and he recognized it… but he really kept that secret for so long?”
“Yeah,” Dick said. He tipped the bottle from side to side and watched it. It was oddly mesmerizing, which was probably because he was tipsy. “I guess he felt like it was his responsibility or something. Honestly, I worry about him.”
“Worry about him because he’s your brother or because you need to?” Artemis asked.
“I need to because he’s my brother,” Dick told her. “I mean… I can’t lose him. And I don’t think I will, but he’s so young and I swear, something about his childhood kind of messed him up to make him think the way he does.” he shrugged. “I’m kind of a family guy.”
“You are,” Artemis said, in a tone Dick didn’t recognize.
“I always wanted a younger sibling,” Dick continued. “I was an only child. I had cousins and stuff, but it wasn’t really the same.”
“I was the youngest,” Artemis said. “But my family wasn’t really the best. Even before Jade left, it was… it was bad.”
“Yeah,” Dick said in a sigh. He swayed only slightly as a wave of disorienting feeling washed over him. “Maybe we should get to my apartment. I’m definitely drunk.”
Artemis smiled. “I’m getting there, too,” she admitted. She stood up. “Lead the way, Boy Wonder.”
“I’m almost twenty,” Dick said, but he obeyed anyway.
BABS G.: I wanted to tell you that I’m quitting by the end of next year.
DICK G.: quitting?
DICK G.: quitting our extracurricular?
BABS G.: Bad code name, Dick.
BABS G.: But yes.
BABS G.: I got accepted into a good college. My dad is getting suspicious. It’s best to quit before it’s too late.
DICK G.: okay.
BABS G.: Dick.
BABS G.: Don’t get mad at me for this.
DICK G.: i’m not!
DICK G.: i’m happy for you, barb
DICK G.: we’ll still hang out?
BABS G.: Of course we will. The college I’m going to is in New York, so it’s not that far away.
BABS G.: Tell Tim for me?
DICK G.: sure, but i don’t think it’ll be too big of a deal for him
DICK G.: does bruce know?
BABS G.: Yeah.
DICK G.: okay
DICK G.: we’ll miss you, babs
“Batgirl’s quitting,” Dick said to Artemis in one of their increasingly more frequent hang-outs.
Artemis raised an eyebrow. “She’s quitting?” she asked, with a reserved sort of surprise to her tone.
“Not right now,” Dick said. “In May, I think. Maybe June.”
“Kind of a ways off,” Artemis said, as it was October. “Any reason?”
“She’s going to college,” Dick explained. “And something about her dad. And something else about quitting while you’re ahead.”
“Some of us quit while we’re ahead,” Artemis said, “and still get hurt.”
“Yeah,” Dick said.
Yeah.
Artemis shook her head. “I’m sorry,” she said. “Are you okay about it?”
“Yeah,” Dick said. “It’s not like we won’t see each other. I was Robin for years before she started as Batgirl.”
“Yeah…” Artemis said. “It’s nice having another badass girl on the team, though,” she added, kind of wistfully.
“Every girl on the team is badass,” Dick said. “I saw Wonder Girl bench press Gar when he was transformed into a cheetah.”
“Oh, you know what I mean.” Artemis rolled her eyes. “Is – are Robin and Wonder Girl still dating? I feel like they aren’t, but not much has really changed between them.”
“Oh, no, I think they broke up,” Dick said. “They were barely dating anyway.”
“Kid dating,” Artemis agreed. “God, you know the first year and a half I thought me and Wally were going to break up over something meaningless and our whole relationship would be meaningless.”
“Well, that never happened,” Dick said. Maybe it was because it had been months since Wally had died, but hearing Artemis talk about him didn’t hurt as much as it once had. It still stung; Dick still felt something… missing from his heart, but it wasn’t as all encompassing as it had been a few months ago.
“Yeah…” Artemis sighed. “A few months ago I would have wished it had happened, like if we’d been broken up, I wouldn’t be so heartbroken,” she paused, stiff, like she was considering just ending the sentence there. “Now I’m just glad I had so much time with him.”
Dick didn’t think he’d been on such a similar wavelength with someone since before Wally had quit being Kid Flash.
He didn’t say that.
He said, “I have that spaghetti that you like, if you want me to make it.”
December 31st was one of the dates in which Dick made bad decisions. It was mostly because Bruce let him drink on New Year’s Eve, and though Dick was a more rational drunk than a lot of people, he was still human.
He wasn’t drunk yet, just drinking, but he was still apprehensive.
Miss Martian was supposed to be coming, but there’s been some sort of incident with Beast Boy that she had to deal with before she could, so right now it was just Dick and Artemis. Dick hung out with Artemis fairly frequently, and most of the time it wasn’t even about Wally. They’d been close before Wally died, of course, but it had always been overshadowed by their relationships with Wally. Now, however, it was just them.
Dick invited Zatanna, too, but she was apparently trying to get in touch with her younger cousin. Conner had been a no, but that was pretty much to be expected; he’d barely made it to the last few New Year parties even when he had been dating M’gann. Last year they hadn’t had one.
“You think anyone is going to come?” Artemis asked. She was wearing a long sweater dress with a golden lightning bolt on a chain. It was a gift from Wally, from years ago.
“No,” Dick said. “Donna might, though. She loves me.”
“I thought Donna was still training on Themyscira and, uh, finding herself?” Artemis said. It was sort of an assumption and sort of a question.
Dick shrugged. “Diana was going over there, anyway,” he explained, though not well. “I didn’t hear back, but I don’t think Diana came back, either. Apparently she gets distracted over there.”
“Diana is the best person I’ve ever met,” Artemis said. “She’s just so great. We went out to lunch a few weeks ago and I swear it was such a… healing experience.”
“Do you have a crush on Wonder Woman?” Dick asked. “Because you’d have to get in a line of about a million people.”
Artemis laughed a little. “I think everyone has a little crush on her, at least,” she said. “Are we going to turn into a Wonder Woman fan club?”
“I’d rather not,” Dick said. “Wonder Girl might want to join and I don’t have anything against her, but sometimes our conversations get a little too weird for fourteen year olds.”
“That’s true,” Artemis admitted, and seated herself next to Dick, legs up on the ottoman. “And you know Gar’s a huge Wonder fan too, and if he joined and we corrupted him…”
“M’gann would kill us,” Dick finished. “That’s why we don’t invite the kids to the parties. They’d come home with way too much, uh, info.”
“And they’re too young to realize that blackmailing is still bad if it’s your friends,” Artemis said, almost thoughtfully. Evidently she’d been thinking of different info than Dick had been. Dick figured it worked both ways.
“This might be the worst turnout we’ve got on a New Year’s Eve party,” Dick said. “And we didn’t even have one last year. We just fought some criminals and Miss M and L’gann broke a shower.”
“Wait, what?” Artemis said. “I wasn’t around for that.”
“They weren’t even having sex,” Dick said, mock-dejected. “They were just… showering together and one of them slipped and broke the nozzle.”
“That’s their story, anyway,” Artemis said. “Do you have video proof that that’s what happened?”
“No, because I didn’t want to watch M’gann and fucking Lagoon Boy have sex if they were lying,” Dick said. “And wait. This is exactly what we were talking about. This is why we can’t invite the freshmen to these things.”
“Would you want them here?” Artemis grabbed a bottle of vodka (a different kind from what they’d drank months ago) and poured it into her glass. “I mean. No offense to them or anything, but…”
Dick sighed. “Yeah, some of them can be kind of obnoxious sometimes.” he frowned. “What’s up with Blue Beetle talking to himself? He’s usually fine, even great, but he randomly gets into huge arguments with himself over weird, violent shit. I don’t get it.”
“Oh, I asked that, too,” Artemis said, looking a little excited that he’d thought the same thing. “So it turns out that the scarab is some sort of sentient artificial intelligence that talks to him. It doesn’t show up on the psychic link, so we had no way of knowing.”
“Well,” Dick said. “We could have asked. And, hey, you know what else doesn’t show up on the psychic link? Static.”
“You can’t fault L’gann for that forever, Dick,” Artemis told him. “He was just a guy in love. Or he thought he was, anyway.”
“They weren’t even dating that long,” Dick said, but let it go. “Do you want to watch something while we wait? Possibly forever?”
“I’m pretty sure M’gann will try to make it,” Artemis said. “Did you invite Kaldur?”
“He’s busy being team leader,” Dick said, meaning no. “Since Batgirl’s going to be leaving, he decided he should get used to doing stuff on his own… like he wasn’t forcing all the work on himself anyway. Gar texts me live.”
Artemis smiled a little, fondly in a way that Dick didn’t understand. “Those kids love you, Dick,” she said. “When are you coming back to the team?”
Dick sighed and slipped down the couch a bit. “I should, soon,” he admitted. “I want to be on the team with Babs for a while before she leaves. It just feels weird, without Wally.”
“You were on the team without Wally for a while,” Artemis said, not letting herself look confused but still expressing it. “When we quit.”
“But he was still…” alive, Dick wanted to say. He didn’t, though, because he knew Artemis would understand what he was saying without needing to hear it. She’d gotten better at that in the past few years.
“Yeah…” Artemis said, looking up as she took a sip of her drink. “Let’s not talk about him tonight, okay?”
“That sounds good,” Dick said. Then: “Can I say something before we put that into place?”
Artemis sighed, but only slightly. “Of course,” she said, though it sounded like she was doing him a favor.
Maybe he shouldn’t say it.
“I was in love with him,” Dick said. He’d meant for it to come out strong, almost casual, but instead he spoke the words weakly, strained.
Artemis was quiet for a long moment. She’d set her drink down and was playing with the sleeve of her dress. Part of her lip was sucked in so that she must have been biting it. Finally, she spoke. “I know,” she said.
Dick didn’t respond. In his mind, he realized it must have become obvious at some point. Artemis had been dating Wally, and in the beginning she’d been a kind of jealous girlfriend, so maybe she’d seen the looks Dick had given Wally before he’d given up on his crush completely, back when he was fifteen and sixteen. Artemis was observant, too, and they’d talked about Wally so much the past few months, so of course —
“Dick,” Artemis said, warningly. “Stop thinking.”
“Okay,” Dick said, but didn’t. “How did you know?”
“I looked,” Artemis said. “And I listened. And I had ulterior motives, because on our three year anniversary, Wally told me he was in love with you.”
Dick’s heart stopped, though only in the metaphorical sense.
“No, he didn’t,” he said, because denial was the first stage of something he couldn’t quite remember the name of.
“Obviously he was in love with me, too,” Artemis added. “Because I’m a catch. But he loved you, too.”
“That’s fucking stupid,” Dick said.
“That’s exactly what I said,” Artemis replied, nodding wisely. Then she shook her head and readjusted herself, probably thinking better of the joke she’d been trying to make. “Look, Dick, he did love you, and I don’t really get why he didn’t say anything to you because you obviously loved him too – well, it was obvious to me.” she shook her head again and groaned. “I never knew how to tell you that. Or if I should tell you.”
Dick didn’t know what to say.
“Thank you,” he said, slowly and disjointedly. “I think.”
Artemis sighed and grabbed her drink again. “I just now realized I’ve been drinking buddies with a twenty year old,” she said roughly, maybe just to change the subject.
“Art, you’re, like, two years older than me,” Dick said. “Probably less, I think.”
“I’m drinking age,” Artemis said, but she was looking at him strangely, almost like a startled cat. Artemis was rather catlike.
Dick only barely remembered she was going by Tigress.
Artemis said, “did you call me Art?”
ARTEMIS C.: It’s Valentine’s day
DICK G.: yes i’m aware
ARTEMIS C.: Spending it with Babs?
DICK G.: nah
DICK G.: i think we’re not dating for real now
DICK G.: not the ~no we’re not dating but we actually are~ thing we were doing for a few months there
ARTEMIS C.: Yeah, I thought so
ARTEMIS C.: Do you still have that spaghetti
DICK G.: are you using me for my spaghetti?
DICK G.: because yeah i do wanna come over
ARTEMIS C.: Alright I’ll be there in twenty
Dick opened the door to Artemis Crock holding a dark duffle bag and a heart-shaped box of chocolates.
“I can’t tell if you’re being romantic or using me to cover up a murder,” Dick said as he let her in.
“Why not both?” Artemis asked. She set down the duffle bag, which made a strange sound like metal against metal. At Dick’s questioning look, she relented. “I thought later we could do some crime fighting, if you want.”
“I always want,” Dick told her. “Those chocolates for me or are you just going to watch me suffer?”
Artemis shook her head in an amused way and offered him the box. “Save me the ones with raspberry in them,” she told him.
“Yeah, sure,” Dick said, opening them up as he walked to the kitchen to check on the spaghetti. “You know you have a spaghetti problem?”
“I think you’re overestimating how much spaghetti I eat,” Artemis said. “And you can’t talk. All you eat is Chinese food, pizza, and cereal.”
Dick rolled his eyes. “What were you thinking of doing?” he asked her, mostly to make conversation until they got to a topic that caught their attention.
“Not sure yet,” Artemis said. “But I have news.”
“What kind of news?”
Artemis sat in one of the chairs and leaned toward him, elbows on the island counter. “Gossip news,” she said. “Guess who I saw doing Valentine’s things when I stopped by at the Watchtower?”
“Who?” Dick asked.
“No, guess,” Artemis said, because she loved to torture him.
Dick sighed greatly. “M’gann and Conner,” he guessed. Artemis shook her head. “Beast Boy and the new girl.”
“No. Well, yes, but no.”
“Um… Mal and Karen aren’t really news, right? I don’t know. I don’t like guessing.” Dick frowned. “Is it Tim? Is Tim being romantic without telling me?”
Artemis smiled.
“No,” Dick said. “With who? It’s – Imp – Bart was sleeping over at his house last week when I went over there. It’s Bart. This is a lot.”
“Wow,” Artemis said. “I was going to judge your detective skills but I guess you’ve still got it. They were cuddling.”
“Oh my god…” Dick whispered. “That’s so cute. You know, I thought they were cute when they were just friends because it reminded me of me and Wally–”
“Robin and Kid Flash,” Artemis said. “Reborn.”
“That’s crazy,” Dick said. “How cuddly were they? Did you call them out? Did they get embarrassed?”
“I said ‘I’m telling your brother on you, mister’ to Tim,” Artemis said. “Then I left for comedic effect, so I didn’t see his face. But he said ‘um’ really loudly and Bart started laughing.”
“I love you, Art,” Dick said, snickering into his hand. “He’s going to start texting me in an hour when he’s sure you’ve told me, you know. He sets timers for things.”
Artemis snorted. “He’s definitely a weird kid,” she said. Then, before Dick could talk any further about his little brother, she changed the topic. “I fought Deathstroke a while back.”
“Yikes,” Dick said, because that was the only reaction he could really think of.
“Not really,” Artemis said. “But the weird thing was, he wasn’t even who we were fighting at first. Some mercenary called Ravager attacked us after a mission, and Deathstroke came after and tried to get Ravager to stop.”
“That’s…” Dick frowned. “Maybe he wanted the job?”
Artemis shrugged. “Don’t think that was it,” she said, “but it was all pretty fast. Anyway… it’ll be a year since you left in a few months, you know.”
Dick shifted, a little surprised. “Oh, yeah,” he said. “I really should come back, shouldn’t I?”
“Yeah,” Artemis agreed. “Everyone misses you. I think they know that I talk to you a lot, so they keep trying to send you messages through me. I keep telling them I can just give them your phone number, but…” she shrugged.
“I think I’m gonna talk to Kaldur,” Dick said. “About re-joining the team. It’s not exactly a huge process.”
“Not like joining the League is,” Artemis said. “Zee was telling me about all the paperwork and stuff she had to go through when she joined. Sounds like a nightmare.”
“Probably just safety stuff,” Dick said. “Secret identities and stuff.”
Artemis nodded and went silent, looking contemplative. The timer for the spaghetti went off, so Dick went to turn it off and finish up the food.
“You want to butter and salt it?” he asked Artemis.
“Sure,” she answered. It took a few minutes, only because Artemis was really particular about how much butter she put in spaghetti, but Dick was adept at being patient from years of stakeouts and watching Alfred cook.
“You want to watch superhero theory videos?” Dick asked. “I saw one in my YouTube recs saying Superman is Lex Luthor.”
“Oh, yes,” Artemis said. “That wasn’t sarcasm. I need to see.”
So they watched YouTube superhero theory videos for about an hour, until Artemis laughed so hard at a ‘SuperTheory’ that she started choking on spaghetti. After that (and a glass of water), they decided to take a break.
“Dick?” Artemis said, approximately four minutes after she calmed down.
“Yeah?”
“Do you want to go on a date sometime?” Artemis set her glass of water down and looked him in the eye. She maintained eye contact so well it made Dick somewhat uncomfortable, but that might just have been because he lived with Batman for so long, and Batman rarely looked anyone in the eye unless things were serious.
Dick froze and didn’t respond for probably way too long, but Artemis was used to dealing with idiot boys. Wally had told Dick about what happened when Artemis asked if they should live together.
(“I’m going to live with her, dude,” Wally told him, a huge grin on his face. “I mean, I haven’t told my mom and dad yet, but it’s definitely going to happen. And she got into the college I got into, so we can take classes together… it’s gonna be awesome, dude.”
Dick didn’t point out that he’d used dude twice in about fifteen seconds, like he usually would have. He didn’t tease Wally about him getting his life together. He didn’t even make a joke about the amount of food he and Artemis would have to buy.
Dick said, “I’m really happy for you, man,” and meant it. He was sixteen.
“Thanks,” Wally said. “You don’t have to be so serious, though.”)
“Sure,” Dick said, before he could consider the qualms people might have with a dead man’s best friend dating his girlfriend.
Artemis smiled wryly. “Maybe we shouldn’t tell anyone yet, though,” she said. “There might be a scandal.”
“Doesn’t sneaking around make it more of a scandal?” asked Dick, who definitely needed to stop talking.
“Well, it’s hotter that way,” Artemis offered.
Dick laughed a little nervously.
How had Wally dated this girl for so long without internally combusting?
“It’s good to have you back on the team, Nightwing,” Lagoon Boy said.
Dick had just beat him in another sparring match. It was easy, but getting less easy as time went on. Dick almost felt proud.
“Thanks, L’gann,” he said, clapping him on the shoulder. “Try and see if you can beat Robin, okay?”
L’gann nodded slowly, considering this new challenge. Dick left him before he could watch any fight that might occur.
“Hey, Tigress,” Dick said when he spotted her in the viewing room. There was a giant pane of glass that was used to look outside into space. It was supposed to be used to look for any threats but it was mostly used to stargaze.
“Hey, ‘wing,” Artemis said, staring out the window. “How’s your first week back?”
“Not bad,” Dick said, moving beside her. “Sparred Lagoon Boy. Won.”
“Most people win against Lagoon Boy,” Artemis said. “He relies on his powers too much, and he’s too angry.”
“You think M’gann has an anger fetish?” Dick asked.
Artemis let out a short and surprised laugh. “That does seem like her type,” she said. “What are you doing tonight?”
“Robin was going to come over,” Dick said. “Sorry. I mean, you can join us if you want.”
Artemis shook her head, but she was smiling. “It’s fine,” she told him. “Hang out with your brother. Maybe I’ll go to Roy and Jade’s.”
“Are they together again?” Dick asked. “I mean, I know they have Lian and everything…”
“They’re trying to make it work,” Artemis answered. “Apparently it’s easier now that Roy isn’t looking for Arsenal all the time now.”
“Arsenal…” Dick shook his head. “Don’t you think he needs, like… help? Is Green Arrow doing anything for him?”
Artemis put her hand through a strand of her hair. “Well, he’s Roy,” she said. “So he isn’t really accepting any help… and Ollie isn’t the greatest at offering it. Not very… emotionally realized?”
“I guess you guys need more badass girls in your family,” Dick said.
“So do you,” Artemis said. “Batgirl’s leaving, isn’t she?”
“Eh, she’ll always be part of the family,” Dick dismissed. “Besides, we might be getting a new girl. Kid called Spoiler’s been making some noise. Crime fighting noise, you know. I think you’d like her, actually. I only met her once, but Robin’s told me about her.”
“Spoiler, huh?” Artemis considered the name. “Sounds like Bart.”l
“It’s supposed to be some kind of play against the Cluemaster,” Dick explained. “He’s a criminal who used to give out clues about what crime he was going to commit. She’s his daughter.”
“We do have a lot in common,” Artemis noted, in a tone she used when she was playing up to a snide remark. “Both our fathers’ names end in master.”
“Yeah…” Dick was out of things to say. “Your birthday is soon.”
“Yep,” Artemis said, turning to face him. “My mom is giving me a gift card for the Cheesecake Factory. Wanna go?”
“Sure,” Dick said. “How do you know she’s giving you that?”
“It’s what she gives me every year,” Artemis said. “That and socks. Sometimes tea. She thinks it’s the universal present.”
“Your mom is pretty cool,” Dick said. “On my birthday, my mom liked to spend the day with me and play around on the trapeze… we’d hang out with Zitka, she’s one of the elephants, and when I was small I’d climb up on her.”
“That’s cute,” Artemis said. “Next time Haly’s Circus is around, I might go. I know I was part of it for one mission, but it’d be cool to watch.”
“Sure,” Dick said. “I can take you as Dick Grayson and you can come backstage and meet all the old guys, too. If you want.”
“Sounds good to me,” Artemis said. “Maybe that can be your birthday gift for me.”
“I already got you something,” Dick said. “But that seems good, too.”
“Want to go find Kaldur and watch Pretty Little Liars?” Artemis asked. “He told me he never got to finish it.”
“Yeah, me neither, but I saw all the spoilers,” Dick said. “Though I guess he doesn’t go on the internet a lot.”
“He’s a funny fish dude.” Artemis smiled. “Let’s go?”
Dick let her lead the way.
Dick had a problem in that he really, really liked kissing Artemis, but he also felt really, really guilty when he did so.
He’d been dating Artemis for about two months. He hadn’t told anyone but Tim (in a discussion about dating and hero to civilian lives that took place after watching a particularly eye opening encounter between Batman and Catwoman), and so far, they were keeping it that way. It was mostly because they didn’t want to deal with explaining to everyone how Wally’s girlfriend and best friend had ended up dating each other.
Artemis pulled away from Dick slightly, bringing him back to the moment. He had a hand on her waist, clutching the fabric of her shirt, and they were sort of pressed together in the corner of Artemis’s couch.
Artemis really was a good kisser. He wondered what that said about Wally, who’d been her primary kissing partner for a good five years.
“What?” Artemis said, though Dick hadn’t spoken.
“What?” he asked her back.
Artemis laid a hand on the side of his face, one finger framing it and the rest under his jaw. “What’s wrong with you?” she asked. Her voice was a little scratchy, but it always seemed to be. “You got weird.”
“Sorry,” Dick whispered. They were alone and had been talking in normal volumes until this. “I… this still feels weird. With – Wally. You know what I mean.”
Dick didn’t say a few things. He didn’t say that he didn’t feel guilty for being with Artemis now that Wally was dead. He didn’t say that he felt guilty for being grateful that he was with Artemis, because didn’t that mean he was thankful Wally was dead, at least in a distant way? Dick had dealt with his hurt and grief in the near year since that day, but how did he deal with the guilt he made worse every day?
Every time he kissed his girlfriend.
Artemis watched him with narrowed eyes and a mostly blank, half judging face. Dick wished he could hear what she was thinking, but he was also glad that he couldn’t. He was glad that she couldn’t hear his thoughts, too.
Who was he, now?
“Stop thinking,” Artemis said, and she sounded a little mad, so Dick obeyed. Artemis sighed harshly, which Dick felt on his face since they were so close. “Look… we’re never going to get closure. So there’s no point trying to get any. We have to believe Wally would want us to move on and be happy, and since we’re the two people he loved most in the world… I think he’d be glad it’s us.”
Dick stared at her back for a while. There were pros and cons to telling Artemis his real, complete feelings. He could weigh them back and forth in his head, but…
“I feel really guilty,” Dick said, not making an effort to shift away from her despite the closeness they still shared. “Because. I’m glad, Art – I. I like being together, and I really like you, but this would have never happened if Wally hadn’t–” suddenly the word felt too heavy in his heart to say, so he just shook his head. “If he hadn’t… died… we never would have done any of this. How can I be thankful for this without being the… worst best friend ever?”
Artemis’s eyes widened, and her breathing changed slightly; she was genuinely caught off guard. “Dick,” she started. Then she did the thing where her posture stiffened ever so slightly and her eyes darted off course for just a second. “You…”
“I know there isn’t anything to say to that,” Dick said gently. “You don’t have to… I’ll figure it out, Artemis.”
“No,” Artemis said. “We’ll figure it out. Dick, it’s going to take years to get over this, and I guess we’ll probably never really get over it, but… I’ve.” she swallowed. “Really, really enjoyed having you here with me. It’s helped. It’s helped you, too, right?”
Dick thought he might be halfway dead without that talk on the roof.
“Yeah,” he said. “It really has. I… it’s just so hard sometimes.”
“We really loved him,” Artemis said.
“I just wish I could have one more talk with him,” Dick said. “Just to… just to know.”
“I know,” Artemis said. Her eyes were closed, and her hand was still on his face. “I love you.”
Dick put his hand up to meet hers. “I love you, too.”