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Tony Stark was fine. He was so fine in fact he was confused why people kept asking. Seriously, did no one understand he was fine? He was fine, perfect, workable, and given more time more adjectives of the same meaning. When would everyone get off his back? And they wondered why he holed himself up in his workshop like he did earlier today.
The sound of the door opening had him sliding from beneath his dad’s car. Grabbing a local washcloth he cleaned his greasy hands and sat up, resisting the urge to rub at his chest. It had been aching since he had gotten thrown into a building yesterday. Sitting up on his little shuttle he found himself face to face with someone he did not currently want to see.
“Leave me alone,” he muttered getting up to grab some of the parts he needed to install in one of his pet projects. Sliding the half-complete arm onto the table he brought over his waiting soldering gun and a circuit board. Moving his magnifying glass in front of him he gently began to solder some resistors onto the circuit.
“Tony, we talked about this, you need to take care of yourself,” they said.
He sat his soldering iron in its cradle and pushed everything aside as he turned to them. His eyes had dark shadows beneath them and he was slightly unshaven. Really, barely noticeable things with Tony Stark but the slightly watery eyes with red rims and poor bandaged injuries on his leg and one on his face was unbandaged.
“Nat, listen, I’m fine. You don’t have to worry about me. I’ll push through; I always do,” He sighed.
She crossed her arms, “Is this like the time you were fine and dying of palladium poisoning? Or, perhaps, the time you were fine after you killed the man who had basically been a father for you for years? Maybe, maybe , you’re fine like the time you just escaped being kidnapped for three months?”
Tony folded his arms and frowned, muttering under his breath, “I was fine those times y’know.”
Nat had the decency not to snort, thought Tony could tell she wanted to. She walked up to him and stood across from him at his work table. He shifted under her steady gaze and refused to meet her eyes.
“Well then, since you’re ‘fine,’” here she air-quoted, “why don’t we take a trip down to medical and have them give you a quick once over?”
Tony shook his head and finally met her gaze and obstinately went, “Nope. No can do. I have projects and, uh, things to work on. You know me, I’m too busy for things like a trip to medical.”
Nat narrowed her eyes and circled the table; he mirrored her actions so they ended up on opposite sides of the table. She moved to the left and he did the same. She moved right. He moved right. She took a step back from the table and suddenly launched herself across it.
Tony squeaked in surprise as she landed on top of his chest. With a wheeze, he crashed to the floor beneath him and she rolled off him in one smooth motion. He lay there breathing heavily against the floor for a few seconds. The pain had flared up in his chest and was currently dancing around his chest in terrible arcs of pain.
“Sorry, Tony, but I had to. You have to go to medical. That gash on your leg is going to get infected at this rate,” Nat apologized.
He sighed from his position of laying on the floor while she kneeled beside him. At least she got off his chest fast that time. Some people in the team liked to lay on his chest for some reason and didn’t seem to understand how much that would hurt him. They would also do it despite his insistence for them not to do it. He never understood it.
Slowly he rolled onto his side and gently pushed himself up with a groan. Everything was sore today and he had no clue why. Nat stood and held out a hand to help him stand which he took with a grateful smile. Standing he gently rubbed at his sore chest. Nat shot him a deep frown at this especially when he coughed wetly a few times into his elbow.
“Come on then, let’s go to medical considering you’re so insistent I go,” He weakly said after his coughs.
She gently took his arm and began to lead him to medical. Walking into the levator JARVIS had already helpfully selected the correct floor. As the elevator descended they listened to a familiar song but not familiar enough to replace. (It was AC/DC’s Shoot to Thrill done by an orchestra for elevator music. Stark Tower couldn’t have regular elevator music; that was too plebeian for them.)
When they got to the med floor Nat let him leave first, no doubt to make sure he actually walked into the right area. Despite his aversion to all things medical (having a surgery with just enough pain meds not to die kind of ruined that for him) once he said he was going to do something he normally did it. The only reason he didn’t do it would be he forgot or it was for someone like Hammer, the ugly weasel.
Walking in his usual doctor was waiting for him which cause some slight suspicion on his part that he was going to the medical floor whether he wanted to or not today. The doctor’s surprised face at him only confirmed this belief.
“Why, Nat, I thought we were beyond drugging people to get them to do what we wanted!” he exclaimed in fake shock.
She had the gall to snort at him and purred, “My dear, we’re never moving beyond that until you learn to take care of yourself over simmering in your guilt complex.”
He looked affronted while the doctor led him to an examination bed. Hopping up onto it, he laid down on it and lifted his arm in preparation for a blood pressure cuff which was soon placed there with a mouth thermometer. He did the usual things all the while his doctor took notes on his weight and height (pretty much unchanged since the last time he had been on the floor).
He then sat up while the doctor poked and prodded at his face, neck, and injuries. There were a few disapproving clucks at the way he had bandaged the injuries. HE got the light shined in his eyes which temporarily blinded him. He blinked reproachfully at the doctor who shrugged in a “what can you do?” sort of manner. Well, for one, you could not do that to begin with. (He knew the poor lady had to do it but he still hated it.)
Finally, she looked at him and asked a question he had been fearing, “Have you been taking your Venlafaxine?”
He flinched and Nat immediately glared at him. She folded her arms and lightly tapped her nails against them.
“Uhhhhhh, not really?” he answered his voice pitching up several octaves an ending in a squeak.
Nat sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. She took a deep breath through her nose in sync with the doctor. He wondered if they noticed they were doing that. It was very entertaining, especially the way they both looked at each other at the same time and nodded at the same time.
The Doctor headed out of the room after saying, “I’ll refill your prescription anyway. Miss Romanoff, I assume you know how to take care of him?”
Nat gave a nod and walked over to the cabinet pulling out some gauze and wrappings. A silence hung in the air for a few seconds as she cut the strips into the right size. Tony watched her warily. This type of silence was different from the regular silence between them, it hung and slipped through his finger the way honey would.
When Nat finally walked over Tony had apologies ready on his tongue but found they were stuck in his throat like a particularly troublesome pill. Instead, he offered up his wounds. He watched as she expertly wrapped the wounds. She pushed on the gauze light enough to sting some and have it stick but not enough that it would hurt.
Her hands were equally thorough with the wrapping. She made sure it was tight, as always, but not too tight. It was just tight enough to hold everything onto his leg and give him movement while still having some compression. HIs wound on his legs was a large wide scratch, not deep so no stitches we needed. The problem was it went pretty much the whole length of his shin.
Once that was bandaged she moved to small scratch beneath his eye he knew he had. She pulled out a small antiseptic wipe and looked at him. With an overly false smile, he slowly leaned away from her. With hands faster than he cared to imagine at this point in time she caught him by the shin and dabbed at his cut. He let out a small hiss as the sting.
“Baby,” she commented.
“You know me so well,” he joked. She leveled him a look and the laughter died in his throat. Yeah, ok fair enough. He wouldn’t be getting out of this one very easy and he supposed he earned that one.
She walked back over to the counter and set aside the thing she hadn’t needed. Opening the drawer she sighed at the Band-Aid collection. He knew he had Ironman, Avengers, Hello Kitty. When she revealed the one she had chosen was Hello Kitty he gave a bark of laughter.
Ripping it open, which bothered him a great deal because there were little tabs specifically designed to help you open the little things, she tossed the trash away and applied it to his face. Patting his face lightly she took a step back and leaned on the counter to look at him. She crossed her arms over her chest and let him take the lead.
He stared at the floor for a few minutes before he slowly looked up to meet her gaze. Blank, as always. He felt the first curls of shame sink their proverbial claws into his lungs and heart. Once again he rubbed his chest. Slow, rhythmic circles around his reactor with slower branching off circle on his pecs. The already knotted and bunched muscles had hurt more than usual lately. That’s what bouncing your body off building did he supposed.
The silence had grown from demanding to resigned and tense at the same time. He wasn’t quite sure how Nat always managed to control things but he knew she was the reason for the change. He internally sighed and wilted. He knew he should be taking the meds but they didn’t work anyways what was the point?
Finally, he realized it had been about twenty minutes in silence. He had projects to do. He needed this out of the way.
“Look, I know I should be taking the Venlafaxine but it doesn’t help, nothing does,” He said defeatedly.
He watched her face soften somewhat and she walked over and sat beside on the bed. His legs were on either side of her with the injured one still on the bed while the other dangled off the edge.
“Tony, how long did you take it?” She asked, voice not judging him.
“Two days,” he mumbled.
She sighed and when he flinched at her pat on the knee clasped his shoulder and rubbed it gently. He hunched his shoulders and she continued with her ministrations until he relaxed.
“Tony, you do realize these things can take weeks to work for some of them? Up to six for many,” She asked politely.
He nodded jerkily, “Yeah, but I wanted it to work immediately, not later. In any case, I don’t want to take them. I’ve always been able to survive with no meds so far. The make me not me , you know?”
In his mind it was true. They were changing his brain chemistry. What if it changed him ? He had always been this way, more or less, so he saw no need for change really. Beside his brain functioned workably without medication. So what if he didn’t know what a week of good sleep was like?
Nat nodded. She had heard this argument from many people who desperately needed medication but would refuse to take it. Often times it ended poorly for the person in question and her heart clenched even now, just thinking about it. She shook her head as though to clear her thoughts. Now was not the time to dwell on such things though.
“To, y you do realize your brain, as it sits normally, is not the real ‘you,’ right? It’s you with your PTSD, Depression, and Anxiety,” Nat stated.
Tony fidgeted with his fingers and twiddled them some before he answered, “Yeah, I do.”
Nat continued hopefully, “So, wouldn’t you like to see the world as it should be for you? Maybe ease some or most of those symptoms and live your life happy. Maybe find a girl and settle down.”
Tony snorted, “Finding a guy more like.”
Nat smiled, “That works. Whatever makes you happy you know.”
Tony swung his legs back and forth some before he asked in a quiet small voice, “Yeah, I guess. I just worry about things because what if it doesn’t work at all?”
Nat reached over and circled an arm around his shoulders and drew him close. On instinct he rested his head on her shoulder but refrained from nuzzling her neck, knowing she didn’t enjoy that . Stroking his hair with her hand she allowed herself some time to think of a response.
“If it doesn’t work then you try again. If those don’t work, try again. You just, you have to keep trying Tony. That’s the only way to find out what works,” Nat elaborated.
Tony sighed, looking to the ceiling, “Fine. I’ll have Jay remind me. Hear that Jay? It’s time to take medicine for me.”
There was a single beat of silence before JARVIS replied, “Very well, Sir. I will remind you once you get up and every five minutes afterwards until you take them for your morning meds. The same will be done for your night meds except for when you go to bed.”
“Thanks Jay, you’re a real pal,” Tony said.
“I try, Sir,” came the reply before JARVIS fell silent once again.
Nat looked at Tony who eyes were drooping and sighed. Pushing him off her she shepherded him into standing. With very few grumbles she herded him upstairs and once he realized what was happening he went easily to the elevator.
JARVIS, without prompting, brought them to the top floor. Nat gently lead the half-asleep Tony to his bed and let him change before she stepped inside the bedroom with him.
Tony was already mostly asleep in his bed when she pulled up her chair and pulled out the Princess Bride. Taking a deep breath, she began reading again. Within moment he was asleep. Kissing him on the forehead, she got up and closed the door behind her, vowing to take up a vigil on the couch.
Four Years Later
Nat watched Tony as he worked with Riri, Harley, and Peter on a new foam gun. From what she had gathered it shot the foam form of soap at people and then you sprayed them with water to clean them. He was smiling the whole time he explained how to combine the various colors.
He had been doing that a lot lately, smiling. It was less strained than it used to be. The corners were rounded as opposed to the sharp cutting ones before his medicines. His eyes were softer too, less guarded.
It was like watching a garden go into bloom after a harsh frost. It went from all the harsh angles of its thorns and dead vines to a beautiful lush playground. The harsh stubs were replaced by new green growth with extensions coming and expanding the love from the plants. New buds of love formed and blossomed showing off their beauty, even if it was fleeting. Their beauty could barely compare to the happiness that the garden radiated. It was the best when someone else planted a plant in the garden to make it more beautiful.
Speaking of that new plant of love in the garden she watched as Bucky, or James as Tony called him, walked onto the roof with them. She watched as Tony got a gleam in his eyes and she moved before she got blasted along with Bucky.
She watched as Bucky looked down at himself before rushing Tony and picked him up in a spinning hug that ended in a kiss long enough Riri cleared her throat awkwardly. Tony was the only one of the two who blushed. Bucky just kissed his cheek again before he joined her, leaning against the edge wall of the roof.
They both crossed their arms and watch as the, now foam covered, self declared “billionaire playboy philanthropist” continued explaining the gun to the kids. They all looked interested. It was going fine until Harley picked up the gun and fired at Peter who squealed and ran. Chaos soon ensued.
Bucky drew her attention with a shift in posture. She looked to him and he was looking at her with laser focus. She raised an eyebrow in question. He looked to Tony for a second in thought.
“Thank you,” he said.
“For what? I wasn’t aware I had done anything worth thanks from you,” She said a bit rudely.
It wasn’t that she had anything against him. It was their dynamic. They were former assassin enemies’ friendly didn’t exactly come easy to them, if at all. They had no problem with this arrangement and if someone else did they were free to say something.
“You got him on his meds didn’t you?” Bucky asked
Nat inclined her head and added, “After many failed attempts, yes, I did. It took me sixteen tries and four medicines. What does this have to do with anything though?”
“You made my boyfriend able to live his life to the fullest. There’s nothing more I could ask,” he replied in an uncharacteristic (for them) show of affection by ruffling her hair.
She swatted his hand away and glared at him. Tony walked over to them with a question on his lips. Nat shrugged and walked off.
Tony watched her go. He was slightly lost but wanted to know what they were talking about. Turning to James his lips were caught in a deep kiss which earned a loud “Disgusting!” from Riri. He knew more than saw James flip Riri off and guessing by her indignant “Hey!” Peter would be holding her back.
Breaking the kiss he turned and saws just what he expected. With a laugh he headed back to help Peter not kill Riri. Distantly he thought to the meeting Steve, James, and he would be having tonight. Steve had said it had to do with relationships and he wanted both of them there for it. That could wait for later though. Right now he had to make sure James survived the day.