Chapter Text
Coming home from the hospital is seen as a celebration, for the most part. Kei has spent enough time around hospitals to know that; to have seen the flower and fruit bouquets, the helium balloons, the cards and gift baskets. Most people are joyous and happy when it comes to leaving the hospital. He can remember how relieved he felt, when they finally released him after the car accident that shattered a leg and an arm. It's generally seen as a good thing, since it means the person is well enough to come home.
In Eriko's case, it's not sick enough to stay, so they're sending her home until she spirals downwards again. There's really nothing celebratory about it, but his mom is efficient and clinical; she wants to check the boxes, even if the sentiment is lousy and cheap. Kei can't argue about it.
"Just pick her up some flowers," his mom says over the phone, dismissive tone like always. He can hear movement as she paces around the house, getting ready for Eriko's return. "It'll work," she says, and then hangs up without another word.
"Flowers," Kei mutters to himself. He kicks at a cigarette butt that's on the ground outside the tattoo shop; he doesn't smoke himself, but nearly everyone else at work does, so the back-door alley is littered with the things. He spends every break staring at them, knowing they won't decompose and rot, watching the ever-rising pile grow in an already overfilled ash tray.
So maybe it's sad he's not doing anything more exciting on his breaks, but the cool December air is nice against his cheeks (it's always way too hot inside the parlor, considering half the people are always in some state of undress), and it's quiet. Peaceful, in a way that university wouldn't be for him, if he had been able to go.
"Kei!" Jun's voice rings out from the shop, happy and cheerful like she always, "your ten's up!"
He sighs and kicks at the cigarette, willing himself to stop frowning. Getting flowers means he won't get home until sometime around ten-thirty and his shift starts early tomorrow. He wants all the downtime he can take. "Kei!" Jun calls again.
"Coming," he says, stuffing his phone back into his pocket before swinging the back door open.
It's cold outside, so the flower shop is a relieving sight when Kei finally stumbles upon it. Not many places do flowers all year round and are open this late at night, but Izumi's Flowers is all windows and blinding lights in the darkness. It's in a quiet area, next to an outdated cafe and a decrepit bookstore.
When he swings the door open, a bell rings ahead over top, and Kei barely has a chance to shuffle inside before someone is calling out, "be there in a minute!"
Kei adjusts the scarf around his neck, peeking around as he meanders his way to the counter. There's rows and rows of plants and blooming flowers, potted and some not. There's so many leaves and foliage hanging in the walkway that rests between them, it looks impossible to walk through and not get whacked at least once or twice. And then there's a wall of seeds and gardening magazines on a shelf in the back, at least from what he can make out. It's not huge, but every bit is filled to max capacity. It looks nice, in that overstuffed home-y way, the kind Kei has only ever read about.
"Sorry about that," the voice says from around the corner. A boy walks out from the back; he's wearing an apron that's covered in dirt on top of a long sleeve shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows. He looks about Kei's age, maybe a bit older; brown eyes and brown hair, with thick eyebrows and a playful smile. He's handsome in that way that Kei won't let himself deny, even when he wants to, so he tries to ignore it instead. The boy makes his way to the counter easily, confidently, a happy lilt to his voice. "I was trying to get some closing done while the place was still empty. How can I help you?"
Kei stands up a bit straighter, tries to not feel like he's out of his element. The last time he bought flowers for Eriko, he woke up in a hospital afterwards, and while there is absolutely no connection between the two, he still feels awkward about it. Like maybe he's right back where he was, like he hasn't moved forward at all. "I need a bouquet," he says. "Something simple will work. Do you have any already arranged?"
The boy drums his hands against the counter. His name tag reflects the light with the movement, NAKANO KOU sprawled on it in some of the messiest handwriting Kei has ever seen, and his father was a doctor. "We do all our arrangements on request," he says, still smiling, "it's kind of our thing. But I can whip something up for you easy." He moves to press himself against the counter and lean forward, like he's going to whisper Kei a secret. "Who's the lucky lady?" he asks, dramatically. And then he waggles his eyebrows, for extra emphasis.
The illusion of some cool, suave boy is immediately shattered, and Kei tries not to blanch with minimal success. It's so juvenile that Kei is too caught off guard to respond before Nakano keeps going on: "or lad, or group, or event, what're you trying to get at? I can make it really fancy," and he's grinning, brilliant white teeth gleaming in the light. There is absolutely no tact or finesse to the words, and Kei is very glad they're alone.
"Do you talk to all your customers like that?" he bites out before he can help it, and the boy frowns at him, moving his arms to cross his chest.
"Someone's grumpy," he says, and Kei huffs out a startled breath and shakes his head. He just has to get home and go to sleep; everything'll be better, then. "Since everything's customized, I need to know what sort of thing you're looking for," Nakano points out, eyebrows slightly furrowed. "So I'm just trying to get some information from you. Most people are way more forthcoming."
Kei resists glaring; of course the closest flower shop couldn't just be normal, with a bouquet he could buy and shuffle out with in under a minute and a half. "It's for my sister," he says, finally, and the boy whistles as he starts to move out from behind the counter.
"Birthday?"
"No. She's getting out from the hospital," Kei adds, if only to watch the guy immediately trip and mumble out at a curse, at either the motion or the knowledge.
"That suuucks," he says, shuffling to move next to him. This close, Kei can tell they're nearly the same height, and the guy plays with a ring on his finger, spinning it. "At least she's feeling better now, right? I can get something all happy for that."
"Uh, not really," he says, sticking his hands into his pockets. Eriko is probably going to hate the flowers no matter what, but no one will be impressed if they almost seem mocking. "Can we just get some muted colors? It doesn't have to mean anything," he goes. "It just needs to be flowers."
Nakano eyes him for a second before he shrugs. "Makes my job easier," he says, and then starts to move down the aisles, snagging a pair of clippers from the counter. Like Kei thought, the leaves scrap against him as he moves and leans over to clip the stems of a plant Kei has never bothered to learn the name of. "So what're you doing buying flowers so late for?" He calls as he snips, making the small talk Kei always tries to avoid. "They're more of a in-the-daylight kind of thing, unless it's romantic. Every guy always wants in before close for roses, I swear to god."
"I just got off work," Kei answers when it's clear Nakano is waiting for a response. He pulls his phone out to take a look at the time, sighing when it's only six minutes until ten. "How long is this going to take? I have to catch my train."
"Give me a couple minutes," Nakano says. "You can't rush the flowers! They can be so fickle," he says, even though it makes no sense. Kei has never gotten people who talk about flowers like they're things with emotions and feelings, and not just biodegradable matter. Kei leans back to rest against the counter, watching Kou as he works to see what he picks out.
He moves elegantly, leaning and weaving through the foliage with ease, like he's done it a million times before. Closer to the heavy lights, it's easier to pick out the freckles that dance across the bridge of his nose when he pulls back to look at his pick, a couple stems of a muted pink flower, or the way he sticks his tongue out as he clips to get a couple more. He still looks ethereal and handsome, and Kei wishes he hadn't spoke so he could just mindlessly admire him, the gleam of his lips in the light and the flex of hand as he works. He still does it, but he's just incredibly mindful about it.
Kou has started to hum something that sounds suspiciously like the Kill Bill whistle song when he starts to make his way back, an already forming bouquet of flowers in his hand. It's filled with shades of pink and red, with a couple mute oranges thrown in. It doesn't look sorrowful, but it doesn't look happy, either. Just nice and simple; what Kei wanted all along.
"This good?" Kou asks, brandishing the bouquet towards him like he's the one giving it to Kei, grinning boyishly as he does it. Kei pointedly ignores anything he might feel at the action.
"It's fine," he says, keeping his voice even. Kou still grins like Kei had told him it was perfect, flitting to move back behind the counter. Kei picks his wallet out from his pocket. "How much is it going to be?"
Kou taps at the cash register quick. "2500 yen," he says, and then glances at Kei. "Can I get your name?"
Kei gets the record-keeping, considering it's all he does at the shop. That and processing forms. "Nagai Kei," he says, picking out the bills from his wallet, and Kou clicks at the cash register again before moving back to the flowers to wrap them up, the foil crinkling with every movement.
Kei puts three 1000 yen bills down, brushing off getting the change to get to his train before it arrives. He always likes to get first pick of the seats without having to deal with finding the most isolated spot after everyone's already sat down. He doesn't flinch when Kou hands him the bouquet and their fingers brush against each other, just nods and says "thanks."
"Tell your sister I say feel better, okay?"
"Sure," Kei says, even though he has no plans on it, and starts to make his way out. "Have a good night."
He's pushing open the door when Nakano calls out, bell ringing alongside it. "Stay safe, Nagai!" He hollers, waving when Kei turns to look back at him, still grinning. With Kei half in the dark and Kou all in the light, he looks radiant and brilliant, and Kei tries not to notice how warm it makes him feel, the way Kou's grin brightens when Kei uses his free hand to give a simple wave before leaving.
He tells himself the entire train-ride home that he was just being polite.
Eriko hates the flowers, as expected, but doesn't throw them against the wall, which is unexpected. "Put them in the kitchen or something, I don't want them," she says before stalking away, which is code for that she thinks they're too pretty to ruin, even coming from him.
His mom grabs the bouquet from the table and inspects them, like she's looking for flaws. "These are fine," she says, nodding at Kei. "They can go in the kitchen," she decides, moving to fill a vase to place them in.
Work over, Kei goes to his room and collapses on his bed, thinking of fingers fidgeting and spinning a ring, around and around.
Tattoo parlors don't really get busy for the holidays, but they're sort of busy all the time. Even when there aren't that many appointments, there's always someone walking in with something they want, a key on their wrist or a quote on their ribs. It means that even when the phones aren't ringing, Kei usually doesn't have too much downtime, and even when he does, it's pretty short-lived.
It's not that Kei hates his job; being a secretary at the tattoo parlor is probably the best gig he could land, considering his circumstances and how he's still finishing high school online, still without a diploma at 19 years old. Kai even drops in to talk sometimes, gauges grinning. He was the one who got Kei the job there at the first place. He doesn't really know what he would have done, if Kai hadn't reached out after his car accident to try to rekindle their friendship, and even though they're still awkward in numerous ways, it's kind. Comforting. Better than it was before. It's one of the only things that is.
It just can be stressful at times, like when Jun mentions that Kei could work on becoming an apprentice after seeing a stress drawing on a napkin, a hobby he picked up to get used to using his right arm again after the accident, and then two minutes later, his mom calls him to say that Eriko's back in the hospital, only a week after she came home.
"What happened?" he asks, breath fogging outside in the cold. He ran out to take the call, so he's without his jacket, and Jun is curiously peeking outside at random intervals to make sure he's okay, and to eavesdrop. She's incredibly nosy.
"She had an episode," his mom says, clinical and clear, sounding completely calm. She probably is. "We figured it would happen sooner or later, but they don't think her condition is still bad enough to be there full time. It'll probably just be a night or so. Don't worry about it," she says, dismissive.
"Why call to tell me about it, then?" Kei grits his teeth, already almost shivering.
"Pick up some flowers before you come to the hospital," she says, dull like it's simple. "It'll look nice." Which is, of course, the main factor, and then she hangs up on him like usual.
"Everything okay?" Jun asks, tilting her head so her hair spills over her shoulder, leaning out of the door frame.
"Fine," Kei says, shaking his head. "Don't worry about it."
The bell rings overhead when Kei enters, just like it did the first time. It's only a bit after five, but the place looks exactly the same like it did the other week, all bright lights that don't reflect the dying sun from outside, an over spill of plants everywhere you look.
Kou looks up at the noise, and Kei watches as a smile blooms on his face as he recognizes who he is and goes, "Nagai! Yo, how'd the flowers for your sister go?" all excited and cheerful. He is immediately reminded about how handsome Kou is, and then promptly dismisses it, walking towards the counter.
"She liked them," he says, because it's the simplest truth, but Kou treats it like a victory anyway. He cheers, grinning.
"Told you I could make 'em fancy," he says, waggling his eyebrows again, and it really isn't as endearing as he wants it to be.
"I'm going to need another bouquet," Kei goes, and Kou claps his hands together.
"She like them that much?" He asks, actually sounding incredibly curious. Kei guesses he doesn't get as many repeat customers as he does; some at the shop come in so often to work on big pieces, they've started calling Kei by his first name and joking with the artists while the stencil gets put on. Flowers are more for special occasions, not something most people get multiple times a year.
"No," Kei says, straightening his jacket. "She's back in the hospital."
The joking ends for Kou there; he falls serious again, sort of like he did last time, but it's more morose. "Oh shit dude, I'm sorry," he says, and then, quieter despite the fact they're the only two in the store, "is she gonna be okay?"
Kei shrugs. "She's been sick her entire life, so it's nothing new, but she should be fine. Just need to bring her some flowers for the overnight stay."
Kou is grabbing a pair of clippers and nodding within a second. "That's cool of you," he says as he steps out from the counter. "I remember when I broke my arm in the hospital, I would've loved to get a bouquet of flowers."
"You broke your arm?" Kei asks, before he can help himself, and Kou nods. He pauses to roll his sleeve above his elbow and twists his arm to show off the scar running the length of his left forearm, healed but thick. It looks like Kei's scar does, when he looks at it in the mirror, which he tries very hard to avoid.
"Construction accident gone wrong," Kou says cheerily, pulling his arm back and switching the clippers between his hands. "Same bouquet style as last time?"
Kei swallows, glancing up to look at Kou's eyes. It really doesn't mean anything, a similar scar, but it's the first time since the accident that he's found something sort of relatable to him. "Yeah," he answers, and as Kou takes off to walk down the aisles, he takes a glance down at his phone. The train for the hospital is still a half hour away, while the train station is only a couple blocks from here. "You worked in construction before a flower shop?"
Kou's already sticking his tongue out to run across his lips as he works. "When I was younger, yeah — they didn't ask for ages if you looked old enough, so I did a lot of part-time stints," he adds before Kei can ask about it. "Honestly, it was a surprise nothing bad happened earlier, but hey, who else can say they know how to drive a forklift before their twenties, right?"
Kei makes a noncommittal noise, and that seems to appease Kou well enough to keep going. "Funny story, actually— I couldn't do construction with an arm in a cast, so I ran into Izumi when I was doing part time at a cafe, got to talking. I think she felt bad for me so she offered me a job here, but the jokes on her because I have a total green thumb, the likes of which has never been seen elsewhere— ouch!" He brings his thumb up to his mouth to suck on it for a second, something Kei adamantly does not stare at, turning to look back at Kei and smiling sheepishly.
"Thorn," he says.
"You okay," Kei asks, throat feeling dry.
Kou nods, goes back to the flowers easily. "Anyway," he starts, "I've been here for a good couple months. You work around here? I'm surprised I haven't seen you before."
Kei shrugs even though Kou can't see, decides not to mention the fact he really doesn't go out all that often anymore. It's not that he's scared of an accident happening again, but mainly he doesn't have anywhere he wants to go, so he spends most of his time between work and home. "I work at Ogura's Tattoo and Piercing shop a couple blocks down," Kei says.
Kou is grinning as he starts to make his way back to Kei, a bundle of flowers in his hand. They vary in color, but they're most white and purple with a couple dollops of light blue in between, pretty and clean, sort of perfect for a hospital visit. "No way! You seriously work there?" He sounds excited and curious, lifting the flowers to show them to Kei for his opinion.
"Those'll be fine, I'll take them. Yeah, I'm the secretary there."
Kou bounces his way back behind the counter, grinning like a kid who just found out there's ice-cream waiting at home. He places the flowers down on the counter gently before slapping his hands down on either side, somehow so invested in this knowledge. Most people write it off, consider it something boring or ask what the worst tattoo he's ever seen is.
"That's so cool!" He yelps. "I was actually thinking of getting a tattoo to cover up my scar, or just go on my shoulder, hold on." He pauses to roll his sleeve up to his shoulder and flex, all tan and freckled skin on display. Kei has to take a second to blink to understand what's happening, and Kou flexes again. "I was thinking of getting a dragon or a lion or something," Kou goes on, still grinning stupid happy. "What do you think?"
"Uh." He shrugs and forces himself to look at the floor, all simple patterned tile. The thing is, it's been so long since he's had to deal with people being overtly friendly and nice, he's kind of forgotten how to handle it. It's been so long since he was around people his age, just trying to get along and play nice. He knows how to be distant and he's good at it, but Kou is warm and inviting to the point it's just staggering. He's also really hot, which makes it a lot, lot worse, and Kei really wishes he could stop thinking about that. "That sounds cool," he finally tries, to see if it'll fit.
Kou apparently doesn't notice or doesn't care, still smiling as he goes to ring up the bouquet. "2500 yen once again, sir," he says, and Kei snaps to grab his wallet. "So," the foil is crinkling as Kou rolls it around the flowers with practiced ease, "if I got to Ogura's to get it done, I'll see you there?"
Kei places the same amount down as last time, nodding slowly. He has no idea what Kou's getting at, not really, but it's true. "I'm there most days," Kei offers, unsure why he bothers.
Kou still grins, putting the cash in the register and handing the bouquet out to Kei. "Maybe I'll just end up seeing you around instead, then," Kou says casually. Maybe a little bit forced, and he doesn't meet Kei's eyes for a second. Kei shrugs, neglects to mention the fact he only goes back and forth two places except when he goes out with Kai again.
"That's possible," he says, grabbing the flowers and looking up to face him. Kou's eyes are golden in the light, freckles smeared across the bridge of his nose, smile bursting across his face. Cute, Kei can't resist thinking.
"Hopefully I'll see you around then, Nagai," Kou goes, and then pauses. There's a moment where they just stand there, and Kei thinks he should be doing something, saying something, but nothing comes to mind. Nothing reasonable, anyway.
But Kou offers him an out, finishes by going "Have a good night, Nagai. Stay safe."
Kei nods at him, murmurs a "you too" before fleeing to get to his train, bell ringing in his ears as he tries very hard to not look back at Kou. He fails; Kou is watching him leave, humming softly again, waving when they meet eyes again.
Kei forces himself to breathe and look both ways before crossing the road, tells himself to stop thinking about it.
"Do you just single-handedly want to give all your money to a flower shop? Because fine, whatever, it's not like I care," Eriko says, delicately placing the flowers by her bed in contrast to her words. Kei suspects she might like these ones a lot more to be keeping them, or that she's just shaken enough from her attack to not care that they're coming from him.
"I'm sorry you're back here," Kei tries, taking the seat next to the bed, and Eriko huffs. They've been getting better since Kaito came back into the picture, but there's still a lot of disconnect between them, especially when it's come to health issues. She spent a lot of time with him after the accident, but as he got better and she didn't, it seemed to hit her harder somehow.
"I don't care, I just want to stop getting bounced around," she says. "Like either I'm too sick or I'm not, make a fucking choice." She huffs again and turns to look at the flowers, some of the only color in the room. "You know what any of these mean?" she asks, and Kei blinks.
"No, I don't."
"They don't tell you that secret flower language stuff at the shop? Maybe you can look it up," Eriko offers, softening the longer she looks at them. "I'd wanna know," she adds, quieter.
"I'll look it up and tell you tomorrow, how does that sound?" Kei asks, standing to look down at her. "You should get some rest."
Eriko rolls her eyes but curls under the covers anyway.
Anemone
The anemone represents fragility and can be sent as a get well wish.
Daisy
The beautiful and spirited daisy represents joyful innocence. Send this cheerful flower to remind someone about all the happiness in life.
Peony
Peony have long been known for their healing powers. Send these as get well flowers.
Eriko comes home the following morning after the tests come back, still clutching the flowers in her arms. She puts them in the vase herself after noon, bringing it up to her room to place in the light. When Kei tells her about the flower meanings, she asks about the shop, and Kei tells her in clipped sentences. She narrows her eyes at him, asks him about the employee who made the bouquets.
"I don't know, really," Kei says dismissively. "Just some guy."
Eriko shrugs and glances at the bouquet. "Must like you, to put in so much effort for your sickly sister," she says.
Kei rolls his eyes before going to bed early. An earlier shift means he'll be out by five tomorrow, but he'll be staying back to go over apprenticeship with Jun. It's nothing something he's entirely sure he wants, has always seen himself as a doctor, but Jun thinks he could be good at it. "And working with people, with flesh and sterilization?" Jun had went on yesterday, "not really so different from doctor-hood. It could be good for you!!"
He likes the idea of it, sure. But sometimes it feels like his entire life went spiraling out of control with the car accident, and everyday he goes forward he just strays farther and farther away from the life he imagined for himself. He's not a university student, and he's debating if he'll work on becoming a tattoo artist instead of focusing on being a doctor, and he's not just living alone and moved out of home already. It's not the place he should be, but he wonders if maybe this is what he wants, if he's allowed to want it.
He thinks of Kou's gleaming smile, the way he hums to himself, and asks again. Is he allowed to want it? Does it count for anything at all?