Work Text:
On Monday, Chikara nearly dies.
Well, that’s a bit of an over-exaggeration, but if he were a film director, he would have shot the angle and changed the lighting to make himself seem like an innocent passerby who just narrowly escaped the jaws of death by vehicle. As it is, it’s just Ryuu nearly running him over on his bike.
“You’re not even wearing a helmet,” Chikara says, using his sternest glare. “Didn’t your parents ever teach you the basics of bike safety?”
“I’m sorry!” Ryuu wails, kneeling at Chikara’s feet and hugging his legs. Chikara’s pretty sure his glare has lost its effect at this point; from Ryuu’s angle, he probably has at least three chins, if not more. “I’m really sorry, Chikara, I didn’t mean to almost kill you!”
“That’s a little bit of an over-exaggeration,” Chikara says, ignoring the little part of his brain that screams hypocrite. “I probably wouldn’t have died.”
“But still, I’m really sorry!” Ryuu says, still clinging onto Chikara’s legs. “I was just excited, Noya said he got the newest Monster Hunter game!”
Chikara disentangles Ryuu’s arms from around his legs and pulls him up, nearly falling over with the momentum. “I know,” he says. “Noya’s been screaming into my ear about it for the past half hour. He’s waiting for you at Sakanoshita.”
“Yeah!” Ryuu cheers, letting go of Chikara’s hands. Chikara mourns the loss of Ryuu’s warmth; this morning happens to be especially cold, and his fingers feel like they’re going to freeze off. “I’m gonna go find him! See you at practice!”
Ryuu jumps back onto his bike and quickly speeds away. “See you,” Chikara calls after him, Ryuu’s hand waving back wildly as he tries to maneuver the bike with one hand.
Chikara rubs his hands together, blows on them, and trudges back up the hill after him.
On Tuesday, Chikara gains an extra 68.8 kilograms.
“I’m really starting to pack on the kilos,” he grouses, shifting his arms to accommodate the sudden appearance of Tanaka’s weight on his back. It takes him a few seconds to wrangle his body into a comfortable piggyback position. “I should work out more.”
“Chikara, Chikara, guess what?” Ryuu hollers into his ear, arms wrapped securely around Chikara’s shoulders.
“What?”
“I got an 80 on my math test!”
Chikara blinks. “Wow, that’s impressive. Best score all year, isn’t it?”
“I know, right?” Ryuu laughs, waving the test paper in Chikara’s face. True to his word, the numbers eight and zero, in that order, stare back at Chikara, their bright red ink flashing like a stoplight. “It’s all because you helped me study!”
“Give yourself some credit,” says Chikara. “You worked really hard to prepare for that test.”
“Yeah, but I never would have done it if you hadn’t kicked my ass into gear,” Ryuu insists. “Let’s go see a movie this weekend, my treat!”
“Hmm, I don’t know,” Chikara muses. “I’ve gained a lot of weight recently, I really should do something about that.”
“Come on, Chikara, the new Star Wars movie is out! I’ll even buy you popcorn.”
Chikara pretends to mull it over. “You drive a hard bargain,” he says. “I guess I have no choice but to accept.”
“Yeah!” Ryuu hoots, throwing his hands up and nearly falling off Chikara’s back. Chikara nearly falls over himself trying to stabilize him again. “That’s the spirit!”
Chikara smiles. “I’m really proud of you, you know?”
Ryuu rests his cheek on Chikara’s head, sighing contentedly. “Thanks.”
Chikara lets him sit there for a few moments.
“Now get off my back, you’re making me feel like an old man.”
On Wednesday, Chikara gets adopted.
Well, not quite, but it certainly feels like it. He’s already met Ryuu’s parents, and had dinner at their house, but now they’re cooing over him like he’s a newborn puppy. “I’m sorry, I already have parents,” he says when they ask if he can be their son too.
Ryuu laughs hysterically at that, and Saeko falls apart in laughter too.
“But seriously,” Ryuu’s father says, wiping tears away. “Thank you so much for helping Ryuu study. He usually only gets grades like this in gym class.”
Ryuu’s mother pushes him towards the dinner table. “Come on, come on,” she says. “Stay for dinner, won’t you? It’s the least we can do to thank you.”
“No, it’s really alright,” Chikara says. “My mother is expecting me, anyways.”
“You really can’t stay for just one plate?” Ryuu’s father asks, already pulling out a seat for him. “Ryuu says you have a good appetite.”
Chikara shoots a murderous glance at Ryuu, who holds his hands up in surrender. Saeko pulls him into a headlock, rubbing the top of his head with her fist. “Come on, Chikara, just have a bite!”
And that’s when, to his absolute delight, Chikara spots the deep fried sea pineapple. His mouth waters. “I suppose it’d be rude of me to refuse.”
When he glances back up, Ryuu grins at him like he knows what Chikara had just been eyeing. How dare you tempt me like this, Chikara mouths at him.
I have no idea what you’re talking about, Ryuu mouths back.
“What are you doing making fish faces at each other, boys?” Ryuu’s mother asks, guiding Chikara into a seat and sliding a steaming bowl of rice in front of him. “Eat up!”
“I’ll tell your mom you’ll be late,” Ryuu says, taking Chikara’s phone out of his pocket and typing the passcode in.
He’ll ask Ryuu how he knows his PIN later. For now, he thinks, he has more pressing issues to worry about.
Chikara the squirrel, Ryuu captions his Instagram post later. Chikara’s cheeks are puffed out in the picture, presumably stuffed with sea pineapple and rice. It’s a highly embarrassing photo and gets a grand total of 352 likes.
I hate you, he texts Ryuu.
Love you too, Ryuu texts back.
On Thursday, Chikara experiences the worst humiliation of his life.
“Why did you make me agree to this,” he whines, adjusting the tutu so it doesn’t squeeze his hips too badly. It’ll leave marks on his skin for sure, though. Next to him, Ryuu tries in vain to pull on a stocking without ripping it.
“I didn’t know the girls’ team was that good, I swear,” Ryuu says. “I thought we would win for sure.”
The girls’ team dissolves into giggles when the boys’ team walks out of the club room, all dressed in frilly tutus and princess tiaras. Sasaki snaps at least 50 pictures on her phone. Chikara tries not to cringe too badly.
“Make a bet with the girls’ captain, he said,” Chikara mutters. “Whoever wins a set gets to make the other team do whatever they want. It’ll be fine, he said. We’ll win for sure, and it’s just a friendly game, he said.”
He still has a bruise from where the girls’ team’s ace had spiked a ball right into his face.
“I don’t know about you, Chikara, but I feel pretty sexy,” Ryuu says, posing with Noya as one of the girls takes a picture. Behind him, Kageyama is holding Hinata up like he’s Simba from the Lion King. Tsukishima looks murderous. “Skirts aren’t a bad look on you either, captain.”
Chikara wants to die. “I trusted you, Ryuu.”
Sasaki sidles up to him and claps her hand on his shoulder. “He’s right, you know,” she laughs. “You should wear skirts more often. You look good in them.”
“Excuse me, Sasaki-san, but I’m going to have to ask you to unhand our captain,” Ryuu says, taking pictures with Hinata now. “His legs belong to the boys’ team, but nice try.”
Chikara’s face bursts into flames. “Rest in peace, Ennoshita-san,” Yamaguchi murmurs, hands clasped together as if in prayer. Next to him, Kageyama closes his eyes and nods.
On Friday, Chikara nearly dies for the second time this week.
“What are you waiting for?” Ryuu asks impatiently, parking his bike in front of Chikara. “Get on, we’re gonna be late!”
“Huh?” asks Chikara very eloquently, still a little dazed from almost being hit by Ryuu’s bike, again. It’s understandable, he thinks. Anyone would be a little out of it after narrowly slipping out of the jaws of death twice in a week.
“We’re going to see Star Wars, remember?” Ryuu says. “Come on, let’s go! Noya’s already seen it, and I need to get out of here before he spoils the entire plot!”
Oh, that’s right. Chikara looks skeptically at the bike. “Are you sure you can pedal the both of us all the way to the movie theater?”
In reply, Ryuu sticks his leg out. “Trust these babies,” he says, grinning, and Chikara is sure if he were any more flexible he would be kissing his calf muscles right now. As it is, he has to settle for almost taking Chikara’s knees out with his foot.
“What about our bags?” Chikara asks, taking a few protective steps back.
“We’ll drop them off at your house on the way there,” Ryuu says, always having a solution for everything. “It’ll be fine, Chikara, let’s go!”
Chikara gets on the bike behind Ryuu, but not before giving it another look. He’s pretty sure this is a horrible idea. “If you die halfway there, I’m not responsible.”
Ryuu dismisses his worries. “Hang on, this’ll be a little bumpy at first.”
Chikara barely has time to sling both his and Ryuu’s bags over his shoulders and wrap his arms around Ryuu’s waist before they’re barreling over the hill. Chikara’s screaming at the top of his lungs like a banshee, and Ryuu is cackling maniacally. “Give me a little warning before you pull a stunt like that!” he yells.
“I did!” Ryuu laughs, somehow managing to keep control of the bike despite it hurtling down the hill at 55 mph (Chikara reckons). How they’re not dead yet, Chikara doesn’t know.
Ryuu barely manages to save them from crashing into the fence at the base of the hill, but after a few more close calls, it’s smooth sailing from there. Ryuu’s legs pedal madly to push the both of them along, and he’s breathing heavily, but he keeps up a steady pace, never once slowing down. People shoot them weird looks as they pass by, but it’s nothing Chikara’s never dealt with before.
“Luxury transportation,” Chikara comments. “Ten out of ten, would ride again.”
“I know, right?” Ryuu huffs. “I bet everyone who just saw us wishes they were as cool as us.”
Chikara laughs. “I bet they do.”
