Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Alcoholic

~Kurogane's Viewpoint~

It's painfully obvious now that my princess means to punish me.

Why else would she have sent me away?

More so, she has sent me to an alcoholic for judgment and though I've stared one hundred thousand warriors in the eye and laughed I cannot help but find myself shaken when her bloodshot eyes meet mine.

It is as I feared.

I am to travel the universe with an idiot, a pork bun, and two lovesick children.

Great. Could it get any worse?

With a knowing look and a well timed cackle from the witch I suddenly don't have the heart to ask.

Chapter Text

Arrival

~Fai's Viewpoint~

We arrived there one after another like the first unsuspecting drops of rain into the hands of fate. Gently and not so gently falling from another place and time to the very shop where our solitary journeys would act as one. Brought together by no more than hitsuzen and different similarities- irony of the dimensions at play.

I should have known I was being a fool.

To think it would be so simple.

To think the witch would just let me go, price paid, and path free to the wind.

She knows my past, present, and cursed future. She knows the risk and yet she allows me to travel with others, to get close to them- these innocents without any bindings on my magic…

It was asking for trouble.

As the red eyed man and young boy formed before me, each carrying their precious something close to their chests- a burning desire for home and a princess worth one's heart, I saw my smiling reflection in their eyes.

And in that reflection I knew…

The trouble had arrived.

Chapter Text

Almost

~Syaoran's Viewpoint~

"Are you willing to pay the price?"

Meeting the witch's silent eyes and calm façade I know just what price she's asking. I don't know if it's a fair trade but I don't care. For her it's worth it.

Yesterday,… it seems so very far away. The two of us sitting beneath a familiar sky having a familiar conversation. There was something she wanted to tell me, I knew what it was but I wouldn't say- allowing her to take the lead down a path I wasn't yet brave enough to take. She almost said it… all those things I wanted to say… almost…

Just like I'd almost rescued her.

I'd almost been in time.

I'd almost been able to prevent it.

And I'd almost told her I loved her.

It could have all been different, if only…

No. I mentally shake my head. No more almosts.

"I'll do it."

Chapter Text

Anxiety

~Sakura Dreaming~

It's gone.

Something precious to me.

I don't know what it is but I know that it's been taken. The gaping hole in my heart can only tell me it isn't something I wouldn't have given up without a fight.

I feel so empty and so yet so heavy- like I'll never be able to fly again.

Was it not enough to have my soul plucked out piece by irreplaceable piece?

Did they really have to take that shadow at the corner of my dreams- the boy I can never quite see save for in my own smile?

Darkness surrounds me on all sides and though I am held close, so safe in the arms of another, I feel a wave of anxiety sweep over me for the boy beyond the grasp of my imagination.

Be safe.

Please. Be safe.

Chapter Text

Bliss

~Fai's Viewpoint~

Pancakes are bliss.

Children tugging their parents along, shouting "Mommy, mommy! Can we get one of these?" Desperate for attention and smiling because they have all of it.

Parades. Full of sounds and color. Living people dancing to and fro, tossing out sugared treats to onlookers and singing for others to join in. A constant moment of celebration, more perfect for the time taken to honor it.

Quiet sunlight gracing careless shoulders. Sitting down with a good book and allowing the mind to drift away. Being able to let one's guard down.

Summer green grass, the scent of baking bread, laughter.

The lack of unmarked graves and blood soaked snow.

I want pancakes to last forever.

Chapter Text

Barb

~Kurogane's Viewpoint on Syaoran~

He's strange.

They all are really, but he's the only one I half expected to understand.

The wizard is a liar of course, there's no point in bothering with his type. The girl is lost within herself, bits of her soul scattered across the universe (or whatever that insane witch called it) but the boy- he is a young warrior in the making. Born of fire and steel just waiting to be tempered.

As I once was and yet… he's patient.

Watching her sleep though he obviously memorized her face long ago: her smiles, her frowns, laughter, and tears. It's like he's never seen her before and maybe he hasn't, not like this, her young face neither serene or trouble. Just pale and empty.

Still, as he waits- minding the hours until she wakes, wondering what dreams she dreams and where they take her I can only wonder why he isn't sharpening a blade to avenge what has been stolen.

Then again, every good warrior knows the importance of bidding their time and we all have different ways of mending the more painful barbs in our hearts.

"Go to sleep, kid. I can keep watch for a little bit and you'll be no use to her if you pass out."

Chapter Text

Balance

~Fai's Viewpoint~

It's like a game.

So long as I look at it and like that and follow the rules I'll be fine.

Balancing my insanity on the curve of a smile and keeping it well contained. Ask questions without riddles but never answer them directly. Be eager but not too eager. Help when you can and run if it means raveling yourself.

Most importantly: Keep a close eye on everyone but never let them get close and when in doubt- anger the ninja.

Yes. It's just like a game.

Now if only I wasn't playing for such high stakes.

Chapter Text

Barrier

~Sakura's Viewpoint~

Who is she? That girl in the mirror.

I know I knew her but now I'm not sure.

It's just beyond my reach.

Just beyond…

I look at her and something isn't right. Her dress? Or the hollow look in her eyes?

Only one of these I can fix but it will have to do.

Chapter Text

Coordination

~Fai's Viewpoint on Sakura and Syaoran~

Trust is all about coordination and coordination is all about trust.

It's about knowing what's up, down, and which way you should go. It's about knowing the light and the darkness- and being able to pick which path you're going to follow with absolute certainty of heart. It's about love, life, death, and magic.

Trust is so many things. Coordination is just as many.

Between these two words infinite threads cross back and forth into one another to the point where they're no longer different concepts.

Poetic as all that might seem it's almost ironic that the web of life should choose to show it most surely when one is drunk off their imaginary tail, meowing like a cat and trusting the boy who thinks his ladle is a sword to lead her safely up a set of stairs without doing something terribly embarrassing.

-cringe-

…it can also be about knowing where the barf bucket is but that has more to do with underage drinking and having one's first hangover than anything else…

Chapter Text

Carnage

~Kurogane's Viewpoint~

A great battle has taken place here. Broken bodies littering a blood touched landscape, half caught in screams of mercy or rage, their crow pecked bones glinting in the morning light. Swords still firmly held in fingers plagued by rigor motis, eyes wide and sightless,

This place is bathed in opposition. Where two forces met, each man fighting till his and his opponent's final breath was sacrificed to the heavens. Where in the end no one man stood because both sides were so evenly matched. Where strength was both curse and currency.

Looking back at my horrified companions I can almost read their expressions.

~Fai's Viewpoint~

An execution has taken place here. Not sudden, or rushed, but carefully planned like a casual game of chess. I wonder how many pawns fell. I wonder if anyone will count their bodies.

This carnage was inevitable.

~Syaoran's Viewpoint~

A terrible war has taken place here. There are so many of them… I wonder what they were fighting for. I wonder if it was worth it.

This carnage can't be justified.

~Sakura's Viewpoint~

A great loss has happened here. So many lives lost. I wonder when we will all learn to live together. I wonder how hard they tried.

This carnage was avoidable.

~Kurogane's Viewpoint~

And despite all that, I still think this carnage is beautiful.

Though the more I read their eyes- the more I wonder if Tomoyo was right to send me away…

Chapter Text

Cry

~Kurogane's Viewpoint~

I used to think he was a fool…

"That name's so long! I'll just call you Mr. Black."

"That's not my name, idiot!"

"Hyuu~! There's no need for insults, Mr. Black."

…but then he surprised me…

"I also think there's a certain strength that's needed to be able to cry when you should."

…and now I'm not so sure.

"Kuro-tan, does this dress make me look fat?"

Needless to say- the surprises keep on coming.

Chapter Text

Counseling

~Fai's Viewpoint~

"C'mon, Kurgy." I held the fork a little higher though the gods know I would have had a better chance at tempting a brick wall. "One little piece of chocolate cake isn't going to kill you."

"I already told you-" The ninja stopped, eyes reflexively pulled to the slight shuffle around the corner.

"You want something, kid?" His tone was bored, beckoning Syaoran from his hiding place.

"Uhm… Kurogane-san?" The boy's voice was quiet, his eyes drawn down like magnets to his feet. "Could I talk to you about something?" His head snapped up, the rest of his words rushing out. "If you're not busy of course!" His eyes shifted back and forth between the two of us hesitantly.

I chuckled, picking up the last of the plates and setting them in the sink. "No, no. Not at all. Big Doggie has all the time in the world. I was just finishing up here." With another one of my trademark smiles I was gone, rounding the same corner our 'child' had just come from.

"Kurogane-san,… I was wondering…"

"Spit it out already or come back when you know what you want to say."

"I-I was wondering, is it okay or… no that isn't the right word. What I mean is…"

"What's wrong?"

My feet pause before I make it to my destination, the concern lacing Kurogane's question catching my own sense of worry.

"I-" He took a breath. "I need to know, is it okay for someone to take the life of one person if they're protecting another?"

The silence that followed can only reaffirm one thing: neither of us are in a position to counsel anyone on morals.

Why must children be so innocent?

Chapter Text

Dirty

~Fai's Viewpoint~

Dirt. So much dirt. Filthy, filthy dirt.

"What's wrong with him? Did he break a nail?" The ninja's scoff hardly penetrated the haze of his thoughts.

Sakura shook her head. "I'm not sure. We were out in the garden planting strawberries. We've been out there all day…" Her voice trailed off as he squeezed more soap from the bottle, steam rising up from the tap where hot water gushed out.

Dirty. They're so dirty. Covered in it.

"And then he cut his hand on a rock. It didn't look that bad but maybe I was wrong?" She sounded so worried he wanted to cut himself all over again but he couldn't, he had to wash his hands.

He had to keep washing them until they were clean.

Dirty. Dirty, dirty, filthy blood.

"It'll be okay, Fai."

He felt her hand on his shoulder and flinched away.

No, can't let her touch. Too dirty.

Can't let anyone touch.

Not until I wash the blood off these hands.

Chapter Text

Dance

~Fai's Viewpoint~

Companions are tricky. Emotions are sticky.

Both should be avoided at all costs.

Or at least, that's what my philosophy was.

In the beginning I told myself I wouldn't get too close. I couldn't afford to.

I told myself it would be easy to manipulate my own emotions. It would be easy to feel nothing but as each day rolled around and turned into another- as I watched their smiles, tears, feats, and fears… the protective shell around my heart began to crumble.

I thought I was safe. It was a phase. It would pass and it almost did too.

Until a tear strained princess confessed to me that she didn't know how to dance and her boy-knight had only just gotten the courage to ask her…

How unfair that two souls, so violently ripped apart by fate, should continue to be separated by something as mundane as the waltz.

I felt anger, pity, hopelessness, loss, and grief.

All for them- those I should not get close to. Those I should feel nothing for.

That was it.

That was the very moment I knew my heart would break if I didn't teach young Sakura-chan how to dance and as I showed her step for step I felt something else awaken in me.

Joy.

Chapter Text

Delicious

~Kurogane's Viewpoint~

"Wow, this is delicious, Fai-san!"

"Yes, these cupcakes wonderful. Thank you!"

"Nummy, yummy. Mokona wants more!"

I don't like sweets. It's a simple fact.

Nevertheless- the kids were right.

That mage's cooking was delicious.

Not that I'll ever tell him that.

Chapter Text

Dawn

~Fai's Viewpoint~

Of all the astronomical times I love dawn the most.

That ethereal time when the sky begins to lighten but the clouds are still dark and wispy, caught in night's increasingly fragile embrace. To my eyes, no matter what world we're in or what sky we're under, it is breathtaking. To the magic trapped in my veins, roaring and surging for release, it is breath giving.

To my heart it's but a bitter reminder of another time.

A time I won't dwell on tonight because so much has happened in these past few months and as I sit here, my butt sore and shoulders tense from staying perched upon the windowsill so long, I find my gaze drifting once again to the sleeping ninja.

Silent and surely unless provoked. Loud and raucous when angered. Contemplative and protective when spied upon. Everything about this man draws a smile from me even as he sleeps.

A real smile.

Yuui's smile.

Whereas Ashura had been my dusk, a loving darkness that gently consumed the light before devouring it completely Kurogane has become my dawn- the light that comes from within the void, reveling in the shadows even as he pushes them away, bringing a new day out from beneath the clouds.

Yes. It is without a doubt that I love dawn the best.

Chapter Text

Embarrass

~Syaoran's Viewpoint~

"You, sonovabitch, get back here!"

"Hyuu~! Such a potty mouth." Fai ducked, the blade missing his blond head by millimeters alone.

"Then hold still and I won't have to cuss so much!" Kurogane swung again.

"Now, now, Kuro-daddy. Don't you know better? Setting such a bad example for the kids by running in the house- and with a sword no less." The mage snickered, sprinting away like it was nothing.

"You mother #$%-"

Sakura's face turned beat red, the hand covering her mouth doing little good to keep her own ashamed giggles at bay.

"How embarrassing." Syaoran sighed, shaking his head. "We can't take them anywhere without causing a scene."

Chapter Text

Emotions

~Kurogane's Viewpoint On Fai~

You're sad.

You want us to see your smile but I can see through it. Unshed tears turning your sapphire eyes to glass, the windows of a bruised soul begging to cry out.

You're surprised.

You want us to see your smile but I see the subtle changes in your demeanor. Body suddenly tensed, muscles drawn tight in reflex. Ready to run the second danger is confirmed.

You're angry.

You want us to see your smile but I see right past this ploy. Fluid movements become stiff and graceless, your tone losing all harmony you work so hard to weave between your every word.

You're worried.

You want us to see your smile but I see what you won't let me. The way you almost bite your lip before you catch yourself. The way you had to catch yourself at all because your guard was down.

You're frightened.

You want us to see your smile but I see what you can't hide. Pale skin going ghostly white, pupils wide, and pulse showing in your throat.

You're happy.

You want us to see you smile but you don't know how.

I see all this and still- you haven't seen me watching.

Chapter Text

Ember

~Sakura's Viewpoint~

It's hard to come to grips with it- the empty places in my mind. I can see them in every silent moment. Glaring blotches of nothingness that stare back at me whenever I look too hard.

Sometimes,… just sometimes, I feel like I'm on the verge of something…

Something powerful. Something that would ease this feeling of loss and then those blank places snap, a bit of lightning going off between my eyes and I can no longer remember what I was thinking about… no longer remember the trail of clues I had been following to sooth this emptiness.

Still, I keep looking because in that split second, just before the lightning strikes, it's like my eyes are truly opened and I can see what I've been searching for all along and even after I've forgotten how to remember, my search derailed by the hands of fate…

A golden ember blooms in my chest, growing warmer with every glance into the nothing.

My mind may have forgotten but my heart still remembers.

My heart will always remember.

Chapter Text

Empath

~Fai's Viewpoint On Mokona~

Round. Bubbly. Usually full of food, alcohol, and assorted dimensions.

Childlike in some ways, like a child's toy in others.

Impossibly cute and hyper.

Quite possibly created from pure sugar alone.

And a pinch of love of course.

"It's okay if Fai cries too."

Who knew the little creature was such an empath.

Chapter Text

Fit

~Sakura's Viewpoint~

Sakura cringed as the ninja succumbed to another coughing fit, the course sound ripping it's way up his throat like a chainsaw. "Kurogane-san, are you sure you don't want to drink some tea?"

The red eyed man just looked at her, not deeming her thrice asked question with another answer. He was a half shade pale, complexion hardly giving away the discomfort he was in with chest pains and a cough that would paralyze a weaker man. It didn't help that he was absolutely allergic to whatever plant they were growing everywhere in this world and to make matters worse- he was a horrible patient.

Sakura sighed, returning to the kitchen and backing down for the moment…

Or at least until he fell asleep and then maybe Moko-chan would help hide his sword and they could use it as black mail to make him drink.

For his own good of course.

"And what is Miss. Sakura-chan thinking about that could make her make a face like that?"

She looked up, thoughts interrupted by a light voice, and barely stopping herself in time to keep from running into the blond wizard. "I can't get Kurogane to drink any tea." She confessed with a frown.

The mage chuckled, patting her on the head with a motherly smile. "It's alright, Sakura-chan. Kuro-woof is just being stubborn."

"But if he doesn't drink any tea he won't get better and his throat must hurt so much…" She couldn't help pouting, she just wanted to help.

"Like I said, Kuro-woof is just being stubborn and for every stubborn person there's a way to deal with them." He winked, taking the mug from her. "Watch carefully now, you might have to use this same tactic on Syaoran-kun someday."

A mischievous glint twinkled darkly in his eyes as she watched him walk back out to the living room to ask the same question she had already tried so many times today.

"Would Kuro-daddy like some tea to make his throat feel all better?"

"No. Go away." The ninja half growled, saving his curses for when he felt more like using them.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Are you positive?"

"Yes, damnit!"

"Are you sure you're positive?"

"Mage…"

"Are you sure you're positive you're sur-"

"For Kami's sake leave me the hell alo- mph-!"

In less than the second it took to see the opportunity Fai had drained half the mug and sealed his lips firmly to the ninja's.

- a very long moment later -

"And as you can see by all his cursing he's already feeling better."

"I see…" Sakura nodded sheepishly. "And you said this will probably work on Syaoran-kun if he ever gets sick?"

"Yes. Though he probably won't give you a black eye for it." The mage giggled, walking away to find some ice for his face.

Chapter Text

Found

~Fai's Viewpoint~

"Hello, by chance have you seen a strange feather anywhere? A friend of mine lost one and it's very important that she gets it back."

The kid at the desk shrugged, pointing to a box in the corner before returning to his magazine. "I don't remember anyone bringing one in but you're welcome to check the lost and found."

Fai's eyebrows came together. "Pardon?"

"The lost and found. It's where we put things until the owners come to claim them."

"Okay. Thank you." He smiled, looking down into the box and through a variety of heavy knit sweaters, a few books, two silver pocket watches, a pair of green glasses, and a set of keys. "Goodness, there's a lot of stuff in here."

"Yeah, go ahead and take whatever you want."

"Oh, I couldn't. None of these items belong to me."

"It's all good." The kid turned another page. "People hardly ever come back to claim the things they've lost, it's like a rule of the universe or something."

'Rule of the universe… Yes, I suppose so.' His thoughts began to wind down a dangerous path. 'I suppose once something becomes lost it can never be-'

"Found you." Suddenly he was yanked up by the back of his collar, forced to meet familiar crimson eyes. "The kids and I were looking for you. It's time to go."

He grinned. "Aww, was Kuro-snorkel worried about me?"

"Che, as if." The ninja growled, dropping him. "Hurry up and get your stuff together. The kids found the feather."

Fai 'hmmed' to himself as he watched the bigger man go, eyes drifting once more to the forlorn items before him. 'Well, maybe even 'rules of the universe' need to be re-written from time to time.'

Because even though something was lost- once someone else takes it upon themselves to claim it, be they original keepers or no, that thing (or person) no longer needs to be found.

He smiled, picking up the box. "I hope they like sweaters."

Chapter Text

Flying

~Fai's Viewpoint~

It's silly, honestly. Of all the things I find myself afraid of day after day this isn't one I expected.

Fear or not though- it had to be done. Mokona had done her best but the feather was still on the other side of 'The Great Lake' and the people of this country claimed it was their quickest mode of transportation. Still,… why did it have to be a tin can with wings?

I think they call it an airplane.

Whatever… metal boats aren't meant to fly and that's that.

Yes, it's silly because even as I sit here gripping armrests with white knuckled fists, my eyes scrunched closed of their own accord, and composure unraveling faster than I can catch it- I find myself laughing for all of two simple reasons.

Firstly, and most hilariously, is that I am a creature of ice and wind. Wind! I've been up in the air before, the rush of invisible currents tugging at my veins with an all too familiar hunger. Beautiful even in it's deprivation but this… this is too far beyond my nature…

Airplanes. Ha!

What a ridiculous notion. To assume it was safe to let a machine to do what magic was meant for. If my teeth weren't busy grinding themselves into dust I might be inclined to chuckle at the absurdity of it all.

The second reason is far less tangible but still firm within my grasp. Flying. The act, the art, the concept. Whatever it may be to you- for me it embodies my deepest half hidden desires. To be free. To continue moving. To let go of everything and have everything let go of me in return.

Set adrift in the bright void, falling without end.

Despite the humor I do know why this contraption scares me so- aside from the fact that it can't be anything more than a deathtrap.

Control. I have no control over this cold lifeless bird, soaring through the sky on stiff metal wings of human creation. It is completely beyond me and if I were to let go of the armrest for but a moment I'm absolutely certain it would all fall apart beneath me.

My breath is quickening against my will again, lungs expanding and contracting too fast to be healthy as my well practiced façade falls farther from my reach- more control being robbed of me, composure slipping away bit by precious bit and then…

A hand covers one of my own with flesh as hot as fire, the complete opposite of my own in ever way. The wind is free, but fire grabs and rips and tears, scorching all until nothing is left but the most base of elements. The ice is cold but protective, barring all in a beautiful, impervious shell- that starts to melt with the first warm touch...

…and suddenly it's alright to lose a little control…

Chapter Text

Fluent

~Kurogane's Viewpoint~

Damnit.

It's happened again.

It's always so sudden. The very air seeming to shift around as soon as the manjuu is out of range. Even with my training it never fails to catch me off guard- that sharp moment when every voice suddenly turns to gibberish. The only thing that isn't surprising about this whole situation is that it still pisses me off as much as it did the first time it happened.

At least the kids seem to be handling it well seeing as they were the only ones in our group who could make heads or tails of the local language, it being so similar to their own native tongues. If anything it definitely made finding that stupid white rabbit a little easier as we went from one side of the bustling marketplace to the other, going from stall to stall asking if anyone had seen a strange feather or an even stranger bottomless pit.

As if wasn't aggravating enough not being able to understand a single word spoken in his direction he also had to be useless- Souhi idle at his side. There was nothing to fight, nothing to shout at, and even if the kids did get a helpful clue, they couldn't split up and go search in another avenue.

Worse yet, the mage was handling the situation better than he was.

The blond trailed behind them for the most part, hands in his pockets, the very epitome of relaxed- smiling as if nothing was wrong.

Che. Idiot.

They'd been in this situation often enough that he knew the other man wasn't about to use some kind of magic to escape the discomfort of confusion. No. Instead he'd do what he did with every other matter: the damn fool would turn it into a game.

Cooing, whistling, and whatever the 'Hyuu~!' thing was supposed to be. He'd turn and grin at anyone speaking to him, using nonsensical sounds and simple body language to get his point across (as if he could have one in the first place), he managed as if it was no inconvenience at all.

So annoying.

Still, he was rather used to having to read the blond this way- through his every subtle gesture like a game of charades. It went without saying that he was easier to read with his mouth shut and it was kind of nice not having to be fluent in lies.

At least for a little while.

Of course, thinking back on this moment would be the only thing to keep him from turning their missing companion into 'Manjuu Stew' when they discovered she'd been back at the hotel all along.

Stupid rabbit. Stupid mage. Stupid language barrier.

'Kami help me.'

Chapter Text

Gears

~Sakura's Viewpoint~

It took me longer to figure it out than it should have.

Since the moment I woke up, my name a foreign word to my own lips, I could tell there was something wrong. I could see them watching in turn for something… something I couldn't name, even in the empty night when their gaze had no one place to wander- they watched.

Weeks from the start of our journey I would realize what it was that unnerved me so.

The gears turning behind their eyes.

Syaoran's were not unlike my own in color and yet so different in depth. His glances kept to a carefully concealed few when I was watching but of the times our eyes did meet I'd find myself wondering at what I found there and though I've no memories to go on- no way of naming what I see, my heart names it all the same.

Every time I speak his name I see sadness as if I'm saying it wrong and every time he speaks of the past or I mention a recently returned feather guilt blooms to be swallowed just as quickly with need . The same need he fights with… and when Kurogane pats him on the head with a muttered "Good job, kid" I see a child who was waiting for the praise.

So familiar and so not… like something from a forgotten dream…

Kurogane himself watches the world from an entirely different pair of eyes. He often talks of being a ninja, taking great pride in being able to protect others but when he isn't quite so guarded- I can see something else working in his crimson gaze.

Fear.

Subtle and ruefully acknowledged but there nevertheless. It makes me wonder, who did he really start out protecting? There's misplaced anger there as well and, like his protection, it often shifts to 'the mage' though I doubt either of them realizes it quite yet.

Yes. I do wonder.

Fai's eyes are harder to read even still. I've never once found him with his guard down- not truly. His smile is a distraction. We all know it but none of us know quite how to confront him… after all it's a sad thing when you realize someone doesn't know how to laugh without lying.

Sometimes I see something behind those sapphire eyes that I know I couldn't name even if I had my memories. I think it's called self-loathing… a hatred so deep it can't be directed anywhere but the heart where it began. Sometimes I see pain. Horrible, stabbing flashes of pain that echo in every blink.

More so than that though, I see a wall. A delicate method of well crafted and perfectly balanced blankness meant to keep all else still even as he smiles.

And that in itself says far too much.

They are all so different in their expressions and yet one thing remains the same. They are all waiting for something to catch up to us… watching…

Syaoran is watching for a fate already in the making to come and steal away the last strands of hope. Watching for the end of the road pass him by. Watching for that last chance to slip by.

Kurogane is watching for that dreaded moment when all his training is for naught. Watching for the day when he is unable to protect what matters most. Watching for the day he learns what matters most.

Fai is watching for the pain. Every step we take in the sunshine he is counting as two we will have to spend in darkness. Watching for what he believes is inevitable.

Even Mokona is watching, her posture and movements filled with worry around the edge of her smile. Like she too can sense a thread of the unknown future before us.

Their eyes worry me. So dark, afraid, and contemplative for where this journey will take us. The gears continuously turning.

So, I will smile.

I will smile for the future and hope I can re-shape the gears that guide us into the waiting arms of Hitzusen because though they try- my companions cannot.

Chapter Text

Gentleman

~ Fai's Viewpoint ~

"Beautiful!" With the young princess' exclamation I can't help the honest secret smile that teases just the corners of my lips. She was right on the mark with that one word but I don't think it could possibly do the effort before us the justice it deserved. Not even if she added ten more on top of it.

Everything was dressed in tinsel and ivy. White and green with flecks of plum blossom winding over every surface. At the first mention of festival I thought briefly of the winter solstices of my own homeland. Similar in nature but now quite obviously different in mood as I took in the warm summer air wafting through the night, stars glittering overhead through skyline windows and dancers swaying to and fro- some against the music when they became too caught up in their partners gaze. Cold-lanterns, glowing with the green blue magic of this world, hung from willow branches like little glossy baubles pulling at the dark whilst they lit the steps of younger ones only just braving the floor with timid steps.

Thinking of younger ones, my secret smile escapes just a little more as I look back on our own preparations for this night...

We'd been invited to this ball at the local palace, courteously of another sweet princess and some well timed heroics on our arrival. Having agreed we all needed to recuperate after the last rather violent world we'd been in we decided to stay until the celebration and maybe a night or two after.

That was seven days ago and for seven days our group had been working toward this night. Kurogane and Syaoran off doing whatever young men need to do and Sakura and I... practicing the most basic of steps hoping she could learn to waltz in just one weeks time.

At first, I wasn't sure I should. It wouldn't due to make more ...cherishable... memories with people I'd only end up leaving further down the road but when I heard her half gasp and saw the life in her eyes as her boy-knight rounded the corner I knew that this time, if only just this once, it was worth the potential heartbreak waiting in my future.

She was lovely, true enough, her natural curves gently accentuated by flowing cream fabric and paisley green ripples. Her hair was pinned back from her face, only catching the light now and again when bits of gold powder caught it just right. Syaoran though, being a boy who'd never had to dress up for such an occasion, made an even more impressive sight as he stepped forward and bowed shyly. Gone were the terrain colors he seemed to hide himself in, always falling into the background until needed, to be replaced with a pearl tinted suit and dark silver dress shirt.

He looked so,... so grown up in that moment.

A shame it was ruined with the adorable flushed to cover cheeks, nose, and even his ears as soon as Sakura smiled at him.

Of course, it was just as rosily returned when he managed to ask her for the next dance. Too cute, a perfect little lady being accompanied by her perfect little gentleman hand in hand though they were worlds apart.

"You did well to take him to your princess-Tomoyo-chan friend, Kurgy." I said without bothering to look over my shoulder. Of course the ninja would be there. He was always there.

"'Che, hours of childhood torture had to be worth something." He shrugged as if giving up a bit of his dignity was an everyday occurrence. Then again... "So what were you two doing sneaking around all this week?"

I chuckled, wondering if he'd missed the nickname or gotten used to it, coy reply already waiting on the tip of my tongue. "Sneaking, of course. Silly, Kuro-chan, asking questions when you already know the answer."

Red eyes rolling the ninja grunted a low "Whatever," before turning to make his way through the throng of people.

"Ne, Kuro-cha-cha-" Fending off the usual glare I forced a different sort smile to my lips assuming words would them quickly... only to let my mind wander away from me when I realized his Tomoyo-chan really had taught him a thing or two about presentation.

Hair neatly combed back from his face and deep crimson collar pressed smoothly against a silky black dress coat. Everything, even his shoes, seemed to have a polished shine to them. Not the shine of new and classy but the shine of something someone put a lot of care and effort into.

"Cat got your tongue, mage?" Kurogane asked with narrowed eyes, waiting. When no reply came to me, either because the words couldn't find me or I was too distracted to spit them out, he smirked. "Good. Thank him for me if he holds on."

He turned again and I don't know why...

"Wait."

But I caught his sleeve and asked...

"Would you dance with me?"

Too quickly adding...

"If I was someone else?"

Immediately the ninja frowned, shaking out my hold and leaving me with a simple, "No."

When he's gone, red eyes no longer boring a path through the crowed, I feel safe enough to grant my secret smile a return. So I'm not a lady and he's not much of a gentleman. None of it matters because be it through words, swords, or steps, we were already moving to a dance all our own.

Chapter Text

Going

~ Syaoran's Viewpoint ~

Sometimes I can't help thinking there's something terribly wrong. Like there's some unseen force rippling in our footsteps, stalking like death in the desert just beyond our blunt perception.

Sometimes I think it's me and sometimes I think they think so too.

I see them watching me from time to time. Fai and Kurogane as well as countless others from worlds we've visited. I know they wonder at my need to push forward. This compulsion, stepping just beyond love and guilt, to return her memories no matter what... no matter who we have to take them from.

Sometimes I worry.

I know this devotion isn't normal. No matter how much I care for her, there is some part of me that feels dangerously close to wanting her feathers back more for the sake of it than for hers alone. It urges me forward against fatigue and pain regardless of those that might step in our way. Numb.

Sometimes right before the abyss within Mokona swallows us up- threads of the universe and magical saliva becoming much the same, I can see time shatter. It bursts into infinite blazing sheets of glass, cracked open with fire and lightning and just before they reform...

I wonder at the other self in my reflection.

'Why do I get the feeling there's a familiar blade just beneath my throat?'

But only sometimes.

Chapter Text

Girls

~ Kurogane's Viewpoint ~

It might surprise you to think about it but Kurogane Suwa would always be the first one to admit that girls are pretty strong. PMS and high heels aside, he's seen too proof much throughout his life to ever deny it...

His mother was the first woman to grace him with a touch of true strength. A priestess capable of keeping the purity of her powers long after marriage and childbirth was difficult enough all on it's own but to bear that cross and stand firm- a blazing light against the monsters that terrorized their village while sickness pooled in her lungs. Now that was something.

Many thought his father solely responsible for the safety of their home, singing his praise from fire pits to the rafters high. Only the most observant gave their quiet thanks, sincere in silence, as her magic separated shadow from flesh each night. Only then did his old man have the opening he needed to cleave through their miserable hides.

Then there was Tomoyo-hime, another deceptively fragile looking credit to the female race. The deception proving itself as soon tried to escape her dressing room and talk her out of the carefully worded, "Just ten more outfits?"

The perfect example of a little sister with the power to make you do anything she wants... but in a way that not so subtle quality was just a cover for everything else.

Imagine the strength it must take to see the future laid bare in your every waking dream. To see every way your friends would eventually die and still dare to call them friend. To know every heartbreak that would come your way and still be willing to love. To know every step forward was another that could tip the scales beyond all repair and still keep walking forward. Smile ready and heart open.

Souma was another shining example on the opposite end of the spectrum. He'd never met another woman like her and that's probably the only reason he managed to survive childhood.

She was always so willing to play with the other boys. Maybe a bit too willing at times, going as far as to dare them not to let her join their ranks just to show then how delicate the little daggers in her brazier really were.

And Yuuko? Ever seen that woman hold her liquor? Enough said.

Even little Sakura. She's young yet but already she's holding her head higher than the rest. A princess- yes, but willing to sit back while we clear the path for her she is not. Even though she doesn't know how, and she's kind of useless with a weapon, she still tries to fight alongside us. Ever ready to 'smile everything better' even when it's clear they're about to get much worse.

And finally...

Fai.

Because no mere man is strong enough to run across a battlefield in a ball gown with his only excuse being that the other men will think he's too pretty to shoot at.

His father knew it and little by little he's starting to realize it too. True strength isn't about how many men you kill. It's about supporting the woman you love- even if she's another man.

Chapter Text

Homesick

~Syaoran~

Home feels like those little moments we shared on the cliff tops, hearts beating fast after running through the market and hands just close enough... It was those awkward moments when her brother would glare at my back while she cheerfully insisted he didn't mind my presence in the palace.

Wherever home ends up, I hope we're never far apart.

~Sakura~

Home is that space I haven't filled. A special something beyond all sense of touch. Beckoning.

Whatever home becomes, I hope it always welcomes us.

~Fai~

Home was destroyed. If home is familiarity then perhaps it can be found in the sound of my footsteps always running or my heartbeat when I force myself awake... or perhaps in the even breaths of two sleepy headed children. Maybe even in the taunts and growls...

However home presents itself, I hope it's always full of life.

~Kurogane~

Home is the oaths I've spoken. Where my blade will meet any throat that voices threat. It's duty and honor... and wherever my princess sends me.

Whoever home is with, I hope I'll have the strength to protect them.

.

.

.

~Mokona~

Wherever, whatever, however, and whoever home is- let the sake never run dry cause they're going to need it.!

Chapter Text

Horse

~ Fai's Viewpoint ~

"Ne, Kuro-chan, what's that?"

It's almost funny in a way. I know the ninja can't understand a single syllable from between my lips- except the 'bastardization' of his name as he puts it, but even still I speak. Why?

Because words have never been our true language.

As proven time and time again: he will understand the tone. That simple inflection turning up my last word with a curl. He will know it is a question and though it has been difficult at times I am certain the other man will have no trouble figuring out just what is on my mind.

Cats, dogs, lizards, fish, octopi, giant rabbits, and dragons. Even bright red birds who celebrated their every birthday by bursting into flames. These are the sort of animals I am familiar with either because I had seen them in my own home world or in one of the many we passed through along our journey but never- ever had I seen a beast such as this. All limbs and flesh without fine fur or feathers, a long muscled neck and narrow face with the only true hair it possessed running from the top of it's head down it's spine to end in a tail not unlike how some of the older men here wore theirs.

I wonder if the poor thing was shaved to resemble them or perhaps if it was the other way around...?

The thing huffed, a strange whinnying sound as it pawed the grown with massive stone like feet. Too large. Too tall.

Kurogane says something. A single word spoken with deliberate slowness. His patience with the outcome indicating it was to be my answer. It sounds strange as I try it out with my own tongue, watching the ninja for any reaction that might give way how truly terrible my pronunciation was.

"Who-Arse?"

He nods once, stilling any other reactions on purpose- to actually smile would probably break that strong front he's created to balance people like me out but I can see it, just at the corner of his lips as they struggle against reverse gravity.

"Haey." He finally says with another nod, surpressing what his slight actions might tell me. "Revetahw skrow. 'Who-Arse' si esolc hguone."

Apparently I've accidentally said something peculiar.

"Who-Arse." I say it again to confirm it with a small nod of my own, smiling when I'm sure it's as right as I'm going to get it. "We're not going to eat it are we, Kuro-chan? Looks rather tough and scary."

And too tall.

"Uoy gniog ot dnats ereht lla yad ro era uoy gniog ot teg no?" The gruff voice pulls at me. I know he wants something but not knowing what it is I stand there, head tilting just to the right- international sign for: It's not obvious. Clarify?

The ninja thought for a moment, brow tensed and eyes going hard around the edges until he comes to some sort of conclusion. Holding up one hand, fingers curled inward he says, "Who-Arse." Holding up the other hand he points at me, "Idiot." Another word I understand... before taking the second hand and putting it on top of the first.

The 'Fai' on top of the 'Who-Arse.'

Clarity hits me with cruel intent.

He wants me to ride it.

I shake my head, taking a step back. The infantile 'no' spoken clearly between us. Animals are not meant to be ridden... beside the teeth in this thing- this Who-Arse's mouth must be huge!

"Hyuu~, Kuro-pinky-rinta-chan-" The nicknames start pouring out of me, a reflex meant to anger the ninja into forgetting what he had planned even if only for a moment but before I can make my escape an all too familiar steel arm wound it's way around my waist, lifting me into the air...