Chapter Text
It’s the 57th expedition outside the walls and after 6 months of preparing, we’re finally going out now.
“Raise the gates!”
I kicked my horse into full gallop and leading the soldiers beside Erwin Smith, the commander. He looked at me and I nod, keeping the formation as it is. It’ll be hard when the Titans appeared if we’re in a terrible formation and as it is, the diamond shape is our best option.
We continued our trek further outside, the gates closing behind us with an ominous clang and maybe it’s just me but I have a feeling some – or most of us will not be entering that gate ever again.
[0o0]
Approximately 1 month and a half later. . .
Maybe the feeling I got when we stepped outside the walls that first time is finally coming true. And for the first time, I don’t want myself to be right of my suspicion…
“Levi, what are the statistics?” Erwin said hurriedly while checking for his gears and I thought briefly of Erwin just nicely worded casualty or dead toll but decided to get it out of my head.
My hatred of the man is useless right now and it won’t help our case.
“There’re two carts full and we’re down almost in half, the supplies are gradually depleting and it’ll surely do us good if we start going back ASAP.” Came my reply, pertaining for the dead bodies we had managed to salvage to return back to their families.
Erwin nods while fastening his 3DMG back into its place. He surveyed the remaining soldiers sporting different levels of injury from the many encounters with Titans and quickly formed a plan.
He had quickly briefed the depressed soldiers who seems to have not understood anything but I know better; they’ll do anything to ensure their survival in this God-forsaken place, if there really is that kind of being so powerful but decided to leave us be to our greatest enemy. And I’m sure I’ll be just like them when in terms of mind issues but I have far too many experiences now and lost far too many people I loved that it became a chore for me to do; to feel sympathy for them even if I really don’t.
The remaining soldiers mounted their designated horses now and I did the same, looking at everyone just like Erwin does. Face far too impassive to be normal but that really became a part of my person and the people know me by that emotion.
We started our trek back inside the walls.
The way we’re going right now, I venture we’ll be back inside in a day and a half time, plenty of time for everything to happen if you ask me. And I’m not entirely wrong and I don’t know what to think of that.
The rest of our remaining (some are heavily injured but still alive, I guess that is still a win) soldiers continue on and we’re not met by any Titans along the way and I think that really lifts some weight off the remaining soldiers, but not really entirely.They’re still haywire from the past encounters of them and bodies still rigid, expecting for a fight that would surely come, to be completely not relaxed.
The calm before the storm continued on until we’re halfway through the gates. The Titan was first started at my left corner, very far from our current position. Everyone saw it and went entirely tense and wide-eyed, looking at Erwin’s back waiting for some instruction.
The commander is heavily injured, too. Blood soaks through his dirty clothes and into his flapping cloak, the obvious source is from a Titan’s bite from his side. Not entirely life-threatening but not also something to be eases about. I know Erwin is just faking to be alright even when I saw him writhing in pain when he thinks no one is looking.
I almost felt bad for him, almost. But when I remembered what he did years ago, I can feel the psycho in me sickly laughing to his pain, wishing it could do more pain than that.
I’m also injured, but can still more just fine to fight that Titan. And so is that what I did, not thinking that later on I’ll be cursing myself for that idiotic action but also thanking myself for that.
The soldiers showed varied levels of shock; some are openly gaping at me with horror evident on their faces while some are showing shock, yes, but with relief just below the surface, not really caring to at least cover it.
Those bastards.
Before I completely turned my back, I saw Erwin’s widened eyes staring at me but not saying anything to argue. I sometimes curse myself with this idiotic impulse to do something heroic and maybe that’s the deciding blow why I became a soldier but there are also some experiences in my past made me like this.
I parted from the rest of the group and they continued on without looking back. Some of them did but after a while, they looked ahead and I’m sure they don’t want to see the Humanity’s strongest die today after losing their comrades not a few days after.
I could not care less for their opinions really.
I headed straight to the Titan’s direction fully expecting for a bloody fight but I’m slightly confused when the beast stopped for a minute to watch me go nearer only to continue to run into me. My eyes widen for a moment but a decision quickly was formed in my head to turn around and run away from the thing.
It must be an abnormal, I grimly think as I look back, noting the Titan’s slight increase in speed. I looked back ahead of me to see where I’m going only to be met by the sight of the Forest of Giant Trees. I feel like my destiny/ssuddenly met a convergence in the very front of my eyes as I finally entered the forest, leaving behind the hope that I can survive through this.
When I’m mostly half-way inside I decided to use my 3DMG but not to its full-extent, I don’t want to exhaust the gas for just doing stunts in the air, I’m doubting there’ll be no anomaly along the way. I at least want to go down fighting than idly wait for my death.
I shoot the grappling hook and soared into the air, truly not expecting a hand to come out from the side, messing with the grappling’s wire.
“Fuck!”
I made a terrible somersault in the air to at least lessen the impact to my body when it collided with a tree but a second hand came and attempts to crush me to it so it really didn’t do anything useful.
I was hit to the side and crashed hard to the tree, the entirety of my left side enduring all the impact. I let out a cry as I fall down in the tree trunk, the pain exploding from my side making me dizzy. I’m sure there’s a horrible wound somewhere there from accidentally meeting the blunt end of the hook that tore through my garments and into my flesh, adding to the injuries I acquired from the past month or so. It may not look like it but it’s actually sharp and is the cause of the usual debate of whether we change into a new design of the hooks or just get on with it.
I think they’ll really need to change the designs now.
I remained in the tree trunk, unmoving and still woozy at the sudden assault, even as the Titan that surprised me came into view, its sickening bearded face aligning in my sight. The first Titan followed, the grotesque way its body twisted making my stomach turn and dread splashed through my very being when I realized the two are not just the only Titans here.
One by one, Titans came appearing from behind the trees, totally blending in the surrounding. Different types of Titans showed up, some are standing 3 feet tall but only few are tall. I think the first and second Titans are the only 10 meter feet Titans I can see-oh there’s also one from the very far corner, just silently watching with its beaded eyes.
I wobbly stood up when the horde came nearing in for my liking. I took hold of the handle and tore away the hook from its past lodging and it automatically reeled back inside the gear.
“I-I refuse to die here without my fighting, you fuckers. So come and get me if you like but I’ll assure you lot, I’m going to take some of you with me to Hell.”
And so I just did what I vowed. The Titans are totally idle, maybe expecting me to be just be another human they could intimidate with their horrendous appearance but they thought wrong-if they have a brain just like what Hanji is pressing about because I’ll fight even when it kills me.
How ironic.
I grinned grimly, laughing for my thoughts.
I attacked the nearest Titan in my left, the pain multiplying into millions when it was disturbed and the blood trickled steadily from the wound but I ignored all of it, ignored the way my whole left side was soaked by blood, ignored the way my body immediately felt cold just by standing, ignored the bile rising up at the back of my throat, and totally ignored the black dots dancing in my vision, the impending total blackness that is just waiting to fully devour me into submission.
But just like what I said, I’ll go down fighting and before Death’s grasp completely engulfed me, I’ll going to take some ugly Titans with me.
Maybe they’ll be my companion for the rest of my stay in Hell but who knows?
I made a move of swinging towards my target but slightly wobbled from my pose but still managed to eviscerate it just fine, some of my grace and skills painfully lacking. But that would do for now.
I continued my killing spree even when the black dots in my vision turned into a shadow dancing just in the corner, even when the cold turned into howling freeze, even when I can feel my consciousness slipping from my grasp.
The injuries I’m sporting continued to gradually increase. The lack of finesse and agility in my part causing some of the Titans to get their hands on me, literally, to slice, to swat, to tear me apart (now, that will not be taken literally), and to make me bleed more.
When I think I’m going to plummet into Death’s embrace, I decided to momentarily flee, landing and toppling in a tree trunk 20 meters high above ground and too high for the tallest Titan of the horde to reach me.
My breathing is harsh, shallow and fast, and blood dribble in my chin and I’m surprise I still have so much blood left in me to allow that to happen, and the cold I kept on feeling but kept on ignoring moments before ebbed away but not a second later came back full force that my sorry excuse of a cloak cannot and will not protect me from. The life-threatening wound burns, like the fire from the pits of Hell of itself, and maybe I’m becoming delusional but I’m definitely seeing someone – a human being – standing in a tree trunk, from my far right; looking at me.
Nah, must be nearing my death to let me see that. I’m really dying am I? Because I just saw that someone move towards me, leaping from one trunk to another until he’s in front of me.
The human’s saying something but I couldn’t hear him – yes he’s a he, from the way his naked body stood in front of me, his anatomy just proved that my delusional guessing is, in fact, right – the lull of sleep creeping at the back of my mind, encouraging me to make that step, walk away from that very thin line of life to death, and just embrace that comforting coldness being presented to me.
It surely is cold, why is it cold? Why does my body felt like was dropped from the freezing lake in the back of the HQ? Why—
Suddenly, a warm hand (I think) touched my freezing cold cheeks, immediately providing warmth to my slowly dying body. I think it’s the way Death’s hands almost reached me but I think I felt someone carried me bridal style and whispered something in my ear, assurances maybe? I don’t really know, I just want to bask in the sudden warmth enveloping me, chasing away Death’s freezing hounds far away from my body.
After that, I let that same warmth lull me to sleep instead of the promised coldness just a few moments ago, although that surely is comforting.