Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Hojo stormed down the long halls of his Laboratory in Junon, furious as his concerned assistant chased after him, their white coats billowed behind them.

“A week! A week!” Hojo cried. “IT’s most likely expired by now!” He stopped at a metal door bolted shut with six locks and three keypads. “Give me those cards Rachna!” He out-held his dry hand, scowling as his nervous assistant rummaged through her pockets.

“Y-yes Professor!” She trembled and handed him the three cardkeys.

“A week! Sephiroth is due to arrive at any moment!” He threw the cards back at Rachna and then demanded the six skeleton keys.

“The message was never received because of the War.” Rachna explained, attempting to save her own skin. “The Lab’s been abandoned because they thought the Experiment was discarded, they were going to allow IT to expire—”

“Silence!” The bolts snapped open, releasing steam as the mechanics mobilized swinging the door open on creaking hinges.
A rancid stench emerged as a small dark room was exposed. It was a bitter January and the room’s brick walls glittered with a layer of frost.
Had it not been for the weak movement in the corner as two eyes hid themselves from the light after days of darkness both Scientists would have thought the stench was rotting flesh rather than the human waste surrounding the thin grey blanket where a small emaciated child, wrapped up within it, huddled into the corner, face cast downwards as trembling hands clutched a split plastic water bottle, empty.

Arranged at the Child’s blackened feet sat a metal bowl and spoon, scraped free of the mould that had been devoured in a desperate attempt to survive.

“IT’s still alive!?” Hojo exclaimed, pushing Rachna into the room.

She grimaced; there was nowhere to tread without having something squelch beneath her heels. She pulled a face and grunted unhappily as she crouched down and pushed the matted dark hair from the Child’s face. The Child whimpered and weakly turned away. “IT’s trembling.” She announced.

“Quickly, clean IT up before Sephiroth arrives!”

Eyes shielded for a week burnt beneath the artificial lighting as Rachna carried the Child into the hall.
“OW…!” A screech escaped the Child’s throat, croaky screams of pain as small grubby hands covered large green eyes.

“Quiet!” Hojo barked as he walked ahead, leading them into a sterile room where an examination table stood in the centre. “Have IT treated for dehydration; I’ll have this mess cleared up.”

Rachna wondered where to begin; the Child was dehydrated and sick from malnourishment which had stunted IT’s growth and the healing of old wounds. How could this be explained to the SOLDIER?

She gave the Child a bottle of water and fussed as the liquid was hastily consumed. There was no time to prepare a shower sterile enough to clean the Child, Sephiroth had already arrived.
Rachna panicked as she looked at the screens lining the laboratory walls, camera footage of Sephiroth and his accomplice at the gates sent her running before the intercom bell could sound. “PROFESSOR! HE’S HERE!”

Green eyes lined with dark circles tiredly stared at the computer screens, fearfully watching Hojo and Rachna appear on the monitor camera to greet the SOLDIER.

The Child gasped when the bottle of blessed water fell from frost-bitten fingers.
The Child sought to follow it, falling to the floor and crying out at the impact, unable to produce tears as there was not enough water to spare.

Two large deep cuts on the sole of each foot re-opened, so the Child crawled back to the darkened room; left open unattended and wet, having been hosed down by the Professor in a cleaning attempt; but the room had become colder and the waste on the floor became a brown watery sludge.

The Child crawled to the grey soaked blanket and sobbed miserably.

“Hey… what’s wrong with you, huh?” The Child whimpered and gasped upon hearing the strange voice and backed into a corner.
A young 3rd Class SOLDIER with spiked black hair was crouched before the Child. Regardless of how kindly he’d spoken, bitten nails fearfully dug into the frosty wall as panic clouded sore eyes.

"G’ 'way…" The Child croaked between shrieked sobs and turned into the wall, attempting to hide.
The young man, although horrified, continued his attempts of comfort, rubbing the spiny back as he stared at living flesh-coated skeleton.

“What happened?” His head turned when Hojo’s parrot-like voice sounded and he shuffled in, closely followed by Sephiroth a few steps behind.

Sephiroth looked at the Child curiously with his feline eyes, she, he was only assuming IT was a she, was the size of a small toddler. A tortured soul with bones defined under a tight layer of battered skin and an old green dress that was far too big for her.

In his youth Sephiroth had been ordered to work in Wutai’s Death Camps and the sight of this skeletal child recalled the cruellest of memories, all of which passed through his eyes in no more than a second before they evaporated and left an expression of sorrow and anger. Unhappily, he turned aside.

"When I came in the room the little angel was crying." Zack began as he forced the girl into a hug. "I asked her what was wrong and she went all hysterical." He stroked her matted dark hair, his fingers tangling in the knots.

"Stand up Zack." Sephiroth muttered, irritated. "Is THIS what you wanted me to see?" He scolded Hojo as he pointed at the child.

"This girl could have some of your unique Soldier enhancements, as well as other rarer traits. The reason I called you here was to request that you train this girl to the best of your abilities."

"Ridiculous..." Sephiroth mumbled. "That is absolutely... ridiculous." He glanced towards the little girl. "This is pitiful."

"Then you won't do it?" Sephiroth said nothing but wore a thoughtful expression.
"Then you know what that means; don't you Alice?" Hojo taunted, using her name for the first time, his words drove her into a fit of instant panic as she wailed and chewed her knuckles, pulling at the flesh like a wolf with a corpse, sobbing incoherent words.

"Is this really what you called me here for?" Sephiroth stressed, Hojo simply grinned.
Receiving no affirmative answer Sephiroth frowned and turned to walk away, stunned that Zack was already stood there, determined with his arms outstretched either side of the doorway.

"Come on Seph!” He pleaded and leant in to whisper. "She's only small! And you don't want to leave her in this place do ya'?"

Sephiroth gruffly sighed. "Come here." Alice didn’t move. "Don't make me come to you." The shaky toddler crawled to him, refusing to stand on her sore feet.

"I think we best leave and get you ready for what's to come." Hojo grabbed hold of her matted hair struggling to tug her passed Sephiroth. Alice screamed and reached her hands up to her head, fighting with his hand as her feet left the floor.

Sephiroth prised Hojo’s hand from her hair; she fell to the floor and crawled under his coat to hide by his legs.

"Zack, look after the girl,” His tone darkened “Hojo, a word."
Hojo followed him into the hall, stopping when they were a few feet from the room.
"First,” he grabbed Hojo’s collar and pushed him against the wall. “Who is she?"

Hojo's eyes filled with a sinister look, and the corners of his mouth pulled up into a cruel smile. "Your daughter."

Sephiroth tripped over his words. "…Wha’… I…How?"

"That Cetra girl you were so fond of." He began laughing again. "Rumour has it that she left you! You always have been quite hopeless with people-URK!" Hojo’s laugh was cut short as Sephiroth’s hand closed around his throat forcing him to stare down into the Soldier’s raging hurt eyes.

“How did Posie come to be here? She was found dead in the Slums last month!”

Hojo began to gasp for air. The look in Sephiroth’s eyes was frightening, and he wished he hadn’t dropped his clipboard so he could note the sudden change of temperament and swirl of Mako in his eyes.

“The last time I saw her alive was four years ago! How can we have such a young child?” He dropped him and enjoyed the sight of Hojo clutching his throat and gasping for air.
He knelt before him and scowled as he whispered in his ear. “Don’t even try to fob your failures off on me.”
Rachna stood nearby, worried as Sephiroth turned his cold gaze upon her and stood. "What are you going to do with the child once we're gone?"

Hojo leant against the wall as he adjusted his collar and caught his breath with a smile. "She knows what's going to happen to her. She watched it happen to her beloved pet, I still have its remains if you care to view it?"

With heavy footsteps Sephiroth surged back into the cell. The results of a Scientist comparing animals to humans were always macabre and Sephiroth wouldn’t let it happen to anyone.
Not again.

“Professor, are you alright?” Rachna exclaimed.

Hojo managed a laugh. “That boy was never able to ignore a creature in distress; he has too much compassion for his own good! It’s no wonder he was named a Hero.”

Rachna looked confused as it became obvious that his neglecting Alice was part of an elaborate plan to have Sephiroth cooperate. “Is it wise to use him like this though? He just buried his wife… a man like that, if you push him too far who knows what he’ll—!”

“Silence!” Hojo scolded. "Yes, in order to keep a man with the temperament of Sephiroth under control and to have him act accordingly I must use his emotions as strings to navigate him.”

“Like a marionette?”

Hojo grinned. “Exactly, and familial ties have always been his strongest and weakest string.”

"We're leaving!" Sephiroth announced as he passed them. "We're taking the girl with us!"

Alice began to fuss as they left the room. “No OW!” (Don’t hurt me!)

“Shh, you’re okay.” Zack hushed, comforting her again as he followed Sephiroth.

"You're actually going to take this girl? That will be the first time you've changed your mind." Hojo exclaimed.

Sephiroth stopped to answer. "No I’ll not have her, but I’ll not leave her here either."

Hojo outstretched his hand, holding a yellow piece of folded paper. “You’ll want this.”

Sephiroth snatched it from him and unfolded it. It was a birth certificate; everything was filled in, confirming that Alice was thirty-one months old. He was listed as her father, his deceased wife; her mother and the place of her birth typically left blank. Without a word, Sephiroth continued walking.

Zack broke the silence as they walked down the metallic stairs. "What made you take her with us?"

Sephiroth sighed. "Hojo can be very cruel to his test subjects. That's why."

"So we're rescuing her?"

Sephiroth hesitantly nodded as they stood by the automatic glass doors with the Shinra logo marking them.
"Yes. I’m taking her to a Nunnery; there she'll be taken care of." The doors opened and they left.

Zack frowned. "Do her parents know she's here? You'd think a responsible parent would look after his kid."

"I know what you're implying, Zack."

"Going?" (Where are we going?) Alice winced as they exited the building and the sunlight hit her face.

Zack smiled at her. "I promise I’ll make your dad to let you live with him."

"Wh' da’…?" (What is a dad?) She asked in a quiet voice, her throat raw and dry as she struggled to repeat the ‘new word’ Zack had spoken, testing its measure on her tongue. “D-Da… Dap—”

"You don't know what a dad is!?" Zack hollered.
Her bottom lip began to quiver, startled by Zack’s tone and amplified voice. "Uh... It's alright Alice!" He struggled to calm her, hugging her tightly. "I wasn't angry! I was just… surprised!"

"Stop crying." Sephiroth sternly but softly demanded. "You're away from him now so there's no need to cry."

"Now you see Alice, that's a dad." Zack smiled; pointing to Sephiroth. Alice glanced at him as he stood before the black Company car, holding the door open.

As she stared at him he watched her closely, her appearance intrigued him as he noticed her bright green eyes unmistakably resembling those of her acclaimed mother, Posie, and maybe, under all that grime, she bore some likeness to him. He snorted at the thought, ‘Impossible.’

With a scared look in her eye Alice lifted her head and gazed at her surroundings, shrieking when something small and furry approached. "Dat dat!?" (What is that!?) She anxiously hid her face in Zack’s shoulder again.

Sephiroth dramatically sighed. "It's a cat. Didn't Hojo teach you your basic zoology?" Alice stared at the cat and nervously chewed her knuckles, a nervous habit.

“What’s Zoo~loo~ghee?” Zack asked.

“…Animals.”

"Your dad will teach you all about animals later. I'm SURE he'd L~O~V~E to."

"They'll teach her in the Nunnery." He retorted and unlocked the boot of the car but watched with interest as Alice crawled to the cat which had probably escaped from the Lab.

The cat halted its bathing process as Alice approached, then unhappily wagged its tail as she fearlessly reached out for it.

Sephiroth snorted in amusement as the cat warbled unhappily while Alice investigated its tail, seemingly wondering why she didn’t have such a furry appendage too.

“Wha’dis?” (What is this?) She asked, tugging on the tail. The cat hissed and fled under a nearby car, leaving Alice stunned.

“A tail!” Zack laughed.

Alice rolled onto her back to stare at the sky, it was a clear pale winter blue, and what might have scared her, as she was seeing it for the first time, made her gaze in awe instead.
“Dat dat?” (What is that?) She asked, pointing up at the vast blue.

“The atmosphere surrounding our Planet, more commonly referred to as ‘the sky’.” Sephiroth tilted his head. “You’ve never seen it before?” Alice didn’t reply; her eyes became tired as she drifted into sleep.

"Did we travel all day and there was no real mission at the end?" Zack wondered.
Sephiroth nodded.
"That’s not cool!" Zack complained, lifting Alice off the floor.

A lowly but promising Third-Class Soldier, Zack was privileged to begin his career accompanying Sephiroth on a mission. It was all thanks to Angeal of course; exhausted from Zack’s relentless energy he had Sephiroth repay a previous favour by taking him away with him.

When he heard he was invited to Hojo’s Lab, Zack imagined fighting a top secret experiment for which he would be named a Hero... Instead; he found himself babysitting… watching with unconcealed horror as Sephiroth pulled a black bin liner from the car boot.
“You can’t put her in there!”

Sephiroth narrowed his eyes. Zack may have been Angeal’s student but he was as stupid as he was hyperactive.
He closed the boot and opened the back door, using the bin liner to cover the seat closest to him.

“Oh.” Zack realised. “That’s a bit mean isn’t it? I mean, she’s dirty but the car can be cleaned right?”

“It’s a Company rental. Strap her inside."

“Uh… yeah! Come on Alice.” He marched to the car and looked inside. “Oh… that’s not good.”

“What isn’t?”

“No child seat. That’s illegal isn’t it?”

Sephiroth frowned. “Child endangerment, child neglect, false imprisonment and multiple accounts abuse are the allegations this particular department of Shinra could currently be charged with. I highly doubt we’ll be stopped for lack of a child seat.”

Zack blindly nodded at the long sentence, seating Alice in the car on the bin liner he buckled her in.
“How long will it take us to get back to the dock?” He asked, climbing in the front passenger seat whilst Sephiroth sat in the drivers.

“About three hours.”

Zack looked in the mirror and noticed Alice shivering behind them. Her lips were grey and pulled tight as she crossed her arms, resting her wrists on her chest to produce some body heat. “You got anything to wrap her up in?”

“There’s a blanket in the boot.”

Zack stepped out and opened the boot, surprised to find the blanket was the most shocking shade of pink he’d ever seen. He wrapped it around Alice and gave her nose a flick as she began drifting into sleep again. “I didn’t know you liked pink!” He slammed the back door to climb in the front again.

“It’s complementary from the Company.” Sephiroth defended and then wound the windows down to air the smell that Alice carried. He turned the engine on and drove away from Hojo’s department of horrors.

They’d been driving for almost an hour. Alice remained well-wrapped and slept peacefully despite shivering.
Sephiroth would curiously turn his vision from the road to the mirror, observing her as a whirlwind of confused emotions filled his heart and questions filled his head, not help by Zack who wanted to know every secret Sephiroth might be keeping from him while Sephiroth struggled to control his temper.

"Did you know you had a daughter?"

"No."

"You must've had a hard life to want to put Alice in a Nunn—" Sephiroth spun the car against the pavement. As it came to a stop, Alice tumbled onto the floor, sliding out of her seatbelt she hit the floor.

"Zack! Enough! Alice is going and you can do NOTHING to change my mind!"

Zack silently reached around and pulled Alice from the back and onto his lap, patting her hair which stuck to his glove like Velcro.

Sephiroth left the car and paced on the pavement while Zack worriedly watched him until his temper eased and he silently climbed back in and began driving, hoping for a silent journey.

The remaining journey to the Docks of Mideel was a silent one. Docks once thriving with fishing boats were now filled with the pollution assisted by the current ship in the water awaiting Sephiroth’s return.

That was the beauty of being a First-Class Solider; Sephiroth noted as he boarded and made his presence known. As the Great Sephiroth, he was set apart from the everyday struggles of other Soldiers who had to hurry to the ship which had waited for him and only him, it would have waited until nightfall if needed.

Noticing Sephiroth’s arrival the Captain readied the Ship to leave. Sephiroth stood by the railing breathing in the open air. His facial muscles relaxed as he breathed his stress out into the polluted air.
The serenity on his face was abandoned when he felt something clutch his boot. Looking down he saw Alice struggling to stand, hugging his leg with one arm as she held onto the pink cover spread behind her as if it were her comfort blanket.

Not wanting want her to tumble under the railings and into the sea foaming below the advancing ship he clutched her hand firmly and searched the deck for Zack who seemed to have disappeared.
‘Perhaps he’s fallen overboard.’ Sephiroth sadistically smiled. He’d already decided that Zack had been promoted from irritating teenager to personal babysitter.

He pulled Alice along as he searched; she limped on her cold shuffling feet and left bloody footprints on the deck. “No! No!” She cried, hiding under his long coat and sobbing into his tall boots, hugging them and refusing to move as they neared the lifeboats.

“What’s wrong now?” Sephiroth complained.

“Don’t think she likes the bird.”

Sephiroth searched for the voice and noticed Zack sat in a lifeboat. The army green rain cover was tented over him; only his eyes were visible, peering out like a stowaway.

On one of the railing posts stood a Seagull, staring at them. Sephiroth knew many people referred to Seagulls as rats with wings, so it must have been natural for a child, sheltered from wildlife, to be afraid. “What are you doing under there?”

“It’s cold out there!” Zack stretched his arms out from under the cover. “Alice! Come join me!”
Alice stopped wailing and stared with her mouth agape, astonished as she saw Zack’s arms grow from the boat in place of the peering eyes, distracting her from the Seagull.

Sephiroth relaxed as she quietened and was almost brave enough to move towards the arms dangling limply over the side of the lifeboat until the Gull let out a call, as if it knew how frightened the toddler was.
Alice screamed; the Seagull stared as she scuttled back to Sephiroth, blubbering as she stood on his feet and wrapped her arms around his shins, crying into his knees.
Sephiroth exhaled unhappily and hefted her onto his hip. She hid her face in his chest and clutched the two belts crossing his chest, crying harder when the Seagull let out a call resembling Heidegger’s laughter.

Sephiroth held Alice out by her underarms and passed her to the lifeboats extended ‘arms’. “Here.”

Zack happily took her into the boat and Sephiroth left her with him, shaking his head as he heard him cooing at her.

“I know what you’re thinking.” A familiar voice said beside him.

He didn’t want to look; Posie had been appearing in his mind since he had viewed her broken body.
He felt angry, how dare his mind and heart rally against him and force him to hear the things he knew she’d say!
According to Angeal and Shinra’s psychiatrist this was a condition of the mind most grieving men longed to be inflicted with, too remain so close to your loved one even in death. But Sephiroth hardly viewed himself as lucky.

“Look at me.” She pleaded, sounding hurt as he ignored her.

Sephiroth had learnt to have these… domestic… conversations in his head, in private. So he dared to look at the woman only he could see.

She was small and pale, her wide eyes clouded blue and pupil-less with blindness accentuated by the long scar carved from ear to ear across each eye. Smaller scars littered her eyelids as if the cruel object of infliction had slipped many times, leaving her sclera and lachrymal forever bloodshot, a second scar travelled vertically from her right eye down her cheek resembling a tear. Old wounds never treated with care or accuracy.

Her blond hair was shoulder-length and choppy. She was dressed in a torn old dress, browned from years of wear and tear, its many layers hung like rags above scraped knees and bruised ankles. Her dirty hands were dressed with old gloves and her feet were as bare as Alice’s underneath the shredded black tights. Sephiroth was grateful for the missing bullet hole in the back of her head.
‘What do you want?’ He coldly asked her in his mind.

Posie frowned. “That’s not a nice thing to say.”

‘What do you want me to say? You know where I’ve been and what I’ve found.’

She smiled. “Where have you been and what have you found?” She asked him as gently as a mischievous angel. It made Sephiroth’s heart hurt.

‘Your child.’

“OUR child.” She corrected him.

Sephiroth frowned. ‘Everyone said you’d left me, I didn’t believe them. I thought you were dead and now I find this.’ He thought bitterly. ‘Did you run from me into the arms of a lover?’ He grasped hold of the railings and took a deep breath to steady himself but almost jumped when the ghostly hand laid over his.

“You know me better than anyone, Sephiroth. You know I wouldn’t do that.” She told him, staring blindly into his face. “Science may have found its one good use. D.N.A tests are wonderful things.”

Sephiroth closed his eyes and took another breath. “Posi—” He said out loud, but when he reopened his eyes she was gone.
The sound of the ships motor changed as they approached a shoreline, pulling into the dock on Midgar’s Plains. Had he really been staring into space for that long?

The ship pulled into the narrow shoreline where steps were carved into the cliff side, leading to the land above where the Turks were waiting near the old lighthouse. Cissnei waited at the bottom for them.
Sephiroth knew this Turk-in-training well, and she noticed the bewildered expression on his face when Zack handed Alice to him so he could breathe a breath of fresh air away from the evil stench she carried.

“Who’s this?” Cissnei asked, walking over the rocky pebble beach towards them, laying her hand on Alice’s head. She pulled her hand back at the hard and sticky feeling, reminding her of the rock candy Reno stuck in her hair as a child in the orphanage Sephiroth used to visit with Hojo and pockets full of sweets for them.

Alice bravely but tiredly gazed at Cissnei. Sephiroth adjusted the pink blanket she held, wrapping her tightly in it. “I know those eyes.” Cissnei continued.

Alice immediately turned away again; whining as she tried to sleep and Cissnei rearranged the blanket to cover her neck.

Sephiroth sadly shook his head. “You can tell her parentage just by looking at her eyes?”

“If you can’t tell then you can’t have looked at them. Where did you find her?”

As Sephiroth opened his mouth to reply a loud whistle sounded from the top of the cliff.
“Hurry up!” Tseng called down.
Sephiroth narrowed his eyes up at him but walked across the slippery ground all the same.

It was colder in the Plains surrounding Midgar. Snow clouds had rolled in and although no snow had fallen Sephiroth could smell it approaching.
The rocks and pebbles they stepped over were icy; the moss had become slipperier than usual, hardened with ice.

“Be careful on the way up!” Cissnei called over her shoulder as she approached the steep steps and began to climb them, the trail of Soldier’s following her. “We’ve already lost Rude down these steps!”
There must have been about two hundred steep steps; some of the Soldier’s clutched onto the next step as they walked up, crawling and daring not to look down as their feet slid about beneath them.

“Whew!” Zack wheezed, the final one to reach the top, and rolled onto his back when he finished the climb. He looked over the edge and grimaced at the vast drop. Rolling his head to the other side he frowned. “You couldn’t have taken the helicopter down there!?”

Sat in the helicopter Rude nursed a very bruised and swollen knee, silently rubbing the patch he had landed on when he’d fallen down the steps, Reno stared at it with an awe filled smile. They were like two children proudly showing off their cuts and bruises.

“I’m gonna ride with Sephiroth.” Cissnei told Tseng. “I’ll meet you back at the Shinra Building.”

“Why?”

“He has a story I want to hear.”

“You’re almost a fully-fledged Turk now, stories will have to wait.”

“Cheer up, Cissnei!” Reno laid a hand on her shoulder. “Stories from us Turks are way better than his! Believe me! Hey Rude!” Keeping his hand on her shoulder he turned to look at his silent partner. “Have we told her about Mrs Shinra’s corsets?” Rude smirked but then his expression paled. “Yeah… perhaps we shouldn’t.” Reno finished, understanding Rude’s silent demeanour.

Cissnei shrugged his hand off her shoulder. “This is a story even you’d want to hear.” She pointed at Sephiroth. “Look.”

Under the mass of dark hair on Sephiroth’s shoulder one bright sleepy green eye was visible.
Reno gave a low whistle. “Is she?”

Rude hopped off the helicopter, grabbing his knee as he almost toppled over. “She could be.”

“But she couldn’t be!” Reno added.

“But what if she is?” Rude suggested.

“I’ll call Angeal.” Cissnei said, pulling her phone from her pocket. “Sephiroth will need all the help he can get.”

As Sephiroth passed Tseng he hatefully glared at him. It was unmissable, and the Turk’s cringed as they observed it.

“Sephiroth,” Tseng said as Sephiroth strapped Alice into the car which had been waiting there for them. He slammed the door closed and challenged Tseng to speak. “I didn’t know about this.”

“Of course you didn’t.” Sephiroth growled, visibly restraining himself. He sat in the driver’s seat next to Zack and began the final part of their journey.

“Did you and Tseng have some sort of fight?”

Sephiroth huffed. “It’s a long story.” The answer didn’t seem good enough for Zack. “He killed two people I… knew.”

“Man that’s sad… Who were they?” Sephiroth ignored him and spent the rest of their journey in silence, pondering over Tseng’s statement that he hadn’t known of Alice’s existence, it was surely a lie… wasn’t it?

A veil of darkness threw itself over the world as night fell; Sephiroth randomly stopped the car, the engine still running, startling Zack who had been drifting into sleep and now wondered what was wrong. “I’m tired.” It was a strange confession that startled Zack. This Soldier, the living Superhero confessed to tiredness; and it was almost enough to break Zack’s image of him.

“Uh…yeah… me too.”

“Large monsters prowl the Plains at this hour. I don’t feel like fighting tonight.”

“Is it strange we haven’t crossed any yet?”

“No, monsters are absent from this road until late, they have learnt when to hunt. It’s only twenty-one-hundred hours; the winter makes it seem later. There’s a small Travellers Inn ahead, we’ll rest there.” He drove one more mile and stopped outside a large cottage hidden away in a valley off the road.
The windows were lit up with light, promising warmth and comfort inside.

Sephiroth parked the car and un-buckled his seatbelt. "She's asleep, isn't she?" He asked quietly, looking up into the cars mirror to see the sleeping girl wrapped in her blanket and slumped against the car door.

Zack looked behind his seat so he could see her. "Yeah… Hey, Seph, you sure you want to send her to a Nunnery?"

"Zack, I don't need a child." He answered, exited the car and opened the back door to retrieve Alice.

Zack climbed out and watched Sephiroth gently manoeuvre Alice, desperately trying not to wake her.
Her head rested upon his chest as she was sat on his arm and lent against him, his other hand placed on her back to steady her as he tried to pull the unravelled pink blanket up.

"But then again, you might enjoy being a father." Sephiroth ignored him and walked into the Inn, not willing to listen.

The small reception was domesticated and homely, lit with warmth that bounced off the wood floor and furnishings.

Sephiroth passed a cabinet of fliers and stepped across the small carpet laid neatly in front of the desk; the desk itself covered with papers and books.

There was a closed door leading to a dinning-room where guests could eat and there was another door leading to a lounge that doubled as a bar.

He rang the bell on the desk and only spoke when a young woman appeared. "Three rooms." Sephiroth ordered and placed the Gil on the desk.

"Sorry sir, we only have one." The woman apologized. "But it does have three beds."

"That will do."

The desk attendant nodded. "It’s room two," She handed Zack the keys since Sephiroth obviously had his arms full. "Please enjoy your stay." She said as a middle-aged woman arrived behind the desk.

"Will ya' need anythin’ for the girl?" She asked, with a strong country accent. "The poor thing'll freeze if ya' let' her go 'round like 'that." She told them, referring to Alice’s poor clothing.
"’N when was the last time she had a decent meal?" She put a hand on her hip and walked forwards. "Looks like she ain't eaten in days!"

"Don't criticize them mother." The younger woman hushed.

Sephiroth and Zack snuck away to their room. It was painted beige with some pictures on the walls, the floor was carpeted brown, a television was on the wall opposite the three beds, three very cosy looking beds.
Opposite the door was a window dressed with red curtains. It had started to sleet outside, the shadows reflected on the carpet.

"This is nice." Zack said contently, laying on one of the beds with his arms behind his head.
Sephiroth took Alice to the middle bed and tucked her under the covers. "You're not gonna undress her?"

Sephiroth glared. "No," He roughly replied, eyes red with exhaustion and another unidentified emotion. "I'm going downstairs." He had no plans to go to bed that night.

"And you're leaving her here?" He gawked.

"She's obviously used to being alone."

"Seph'…you can't leave kids in a strange place or anywhere.else.on.their.own." He stressed.

"Fine," Sephiroth turned and opened the door. "You take care of her then." He left to sit in the lounge on one of the soft red seats that circled the room with a tonic in his hand, rubbing his brow with the other. The room was abandoned, save for him… and the topless mermaid and dolphin statue supporting the glass oval table-top.

“Buy a girl a drink?”

Sephiroth sighed unhappily at the voice he heard and turned his tired eyes upon Posie who sat next to him smiling. Her elbow rested on the arm of the chair and her chin rested on her hand, her other arm rested on her crossed legs and for just one moment Sephiroth almost believed she really was there.
‘If I tried could I imagine us in a bar each with a martini? This place seems to have run out, or so they tell me.’

She hummed. “Probably not, but you’re welcome to try.”

‘What have you come to haunt me about now?’ He took a sip of his drink, hoping it would clear the hallucination from his mind.

Posie’s face fell and she turned away, folding her hands on her knee. “You know I love you, don’t you?” Sephiroth choked on the sip of his drink he had just taken. “Don’t be so shocked! I really do! I used to tell you everyday… and you me…”

Sephiroth released a burning breath. ‘I still do. It’s just been four years since I’ve heard that.’

Posie smiled and continued to stare straight ahead. “Do you still love me?”

‘You know I do, you’re a figment of Pathological Grief, you know how I feel about you.’

“Is that why you’re hurting?”

‘I’m just confused.’

“About what?”

‘You.’ Sephiroth stared down at his lap, deep in thought. He felt a ghosts hand on his once again and slowly looked up to see Posie knelt before him, blindly staring at him.

“There has to be something written about me, stored in one of those document rooms. You could find them, read them, and give yourself some closure. Then, one day, you and I can be together again. Remember?”

The corners of Sephiroth’s lips twitched as he remembered the stories she had told him of that place, the Promised Land, a place all the ones they’d loved and lost had travelled to, to begin something beautiful and new, surely Posie was there now. ‘You know I remember.’

Her hands reached up to touch each side of his face. “You and I will meet again, there’s one thing I need you to do first though. Something I can’t do.”

Gazing through a layer of tears, Sephiroth cleared the lump he carried in his throat from his mental voice. ‘Anything.’

For the first time in a long time, a loving kiss was placed on his lips. It felt so real it made the tear in his eye fall. He reached up to stroke the hair away from her cheek, but missed her as she pulled away. He stared into those large eyes with a sad longing as she gave him a sad smile.

“Take care of her for me.”

And with a single blink Sephiroth found himself sitting alone again, contemplating her words and feeling the imaginary remains of a soft kiss upon his lips.

Chapter Text

Zack awoke to the sound of hail smashing on the window; its curtains opened filling the room with the white light of early morning. Sephiroth stood before it with his hand on the glass. "Where's Alice?" Zack yawned, stretching his arms.

Sephiroth pointed to his bed where she was sleeping soundly, curled up and sucking on the knuckles of her curled fists. "She climbed into my bed this morning." He replied, remembering how he had returned from the bathroom to find a lump beneath his covers, not that it bothered him much as he’d refused sleep, his eyes were lined with tired dark rings.

"I don't know why you’d want to put a sweet kid like her in care."

Sephiroth glanced at the clock on the wall. "We should eat and leave." He responded, shaking Alice awake by her shoulder. "Alice, get up." He struggled to speak gently, recalling his and Posie’s ‘conversation’ the night before.
When Alice didn’t respond he pulled the covers off her. She curled further into herself and whined loudly. Sephiroth frowned. "Get up" He pulled her off the bed and began tidying it, both noticing and ignoring the dark smudges her body had stained the bed sheets with and he hadn’t failed to notice the wet patch in her own bed.

"Having second thoughts?" Zack asked, hopeful as he noticed that Sephiroth was calmer and a little more lenient.
He climbed out of bed and lifted Alice off the floor to sit her on his hip.

Sephiroth glared at him as he pulled the cover over the pillow. “I am entitled to change my mind on occasion.”

Zack’s eyes lit up as he let out a laugh and ran to Sephiroth, hugging him tightly, Alice squashed between them as Sephiroth turned rigid. “Dop’ Skising ‘m!” (Stop squashing me!)

“Sephiroth! That’s great man! More than great!”

“Zack!” Sephiroth attempted to push the elated fifteen-year-old off him. Zack was so overcome with happiness he didn’t even realise he’d dropped Alice until he almost trod on her as she sat at their feet, bewildered.

"Me ’n Angeal’ll help you look after her! This is gonna be so sweet!" Sephiroth pushed him away and finished placing the pillows on the bed. “You should make an arrangement with Shinra and ask for a few days off. You know, to celebrate and get some things together!"

"The day that obese man will let me have a day off will be the day hell freezes over." He looked around for Alice who was now in the bathroom trying to reach the sink.

“Do you think that’s a hint she wants a wash?” Zack asked as he rubbed the back of his head.

Sephiroth walked into the bathroom, grabbed her hand and walked out with her. “I’ll have Cissnei wash her when we get back.” He took the pink cover (stained brown) off the end of Alice’s bed, wrapped her up in it then left the room. Zack followed them and locked the door.

“Why Cissnei?” He hurried down the stairs to catch up with them.

Sephiroth walked to the dinning room, tables and chairs scattered the area. The door was held open by a small fat chef statue, a little taller than Alice, holding a tray of menus, mesmerizing her. Sephiroth pulled her away as she reached out for it. “I don’t think it would be appropriate for me to bathe her.” He took a menu and scanned through it.

Zack grunted, not sure whether to agree as he crouched down. "Where should we sit?" He enthusiastically asked Alice. She pointed to a table in the corner with two chairs. "We can't sit there."

Alice stared at him with wide eyes for several seconds before quietly asking "D’y?" (Why?)

"Well how many of us are there?" He didn’t expect Alice to scream frightened sobs. He’d even used his nicest voice! "Don't cry! Don't cry!" Zack shouted, hugging her tightly.

Sephiroth sighed, Alice had been raised in Hojo’s world; a world where a question answered incorrectly had painful results.
"Crying won't solve anything." He coldly spoke.

"Seph'! She's upset! You could be nicer!" Alice gradually calmed and Zack once again attempted to explain why two chairs weren’t enough for three people. Sephiroth had already moved to sit at the head of a table and was giving the young waitress his order for a black coffee.
"We can't sit there because there’s one, two, three of us!" He told her while pointing at her, then himself and Sephiroth. "There are only one, two chairs." He said pointing to the table in the corner. "If we sat there where would you sit?" She dropped herself down to sit on the floor and stared up at Zack expectantly. "Yeah… but the floor can't be very comfy can it?"

Alice shook her head. “No moofy.” (Not comfy.) She muttered, bringing a smile to Zack’s face.

"Are you going to sit down Zack? Or are you going to skip breakfast?" Zack helped Alice onto a seat at their designated table then sat in the chair opposite her. She was barely able to see over the top and was privileged to have Sephiroth belligerently remove his coat and fold it underneath her, allowing her to use it as a booster. She sat on her knees, playing with the salt and pepper pots until Sephiroth pushed them out of her reach.

"What do you want to eat?" Zack asked her, handing her the breakfast menu safely enclosed in a red leather book jacket.

“Don’t be ridiculous Zack.”

Zack frowned. “She has to eat, Seph’! All she had was one of those gross ration bars yesterday! I mean—…” He stopped when he saw Alice wearing the opened menu as a triangular hat.

Sephiroth raised his eyebrows and tried not to smile. “She’s two. You think she can read?” He pulled the menu off Alice’s head, slamming it shut before opening it again. The pages now stuck together, sticky from its contact with Alice’s hair.

"Why don't you try pancakes?" Zack suggested. "Everyone likes those."

Alice stared up at Sephiroth with big green eyes. "Daddy?" She spoke the title Zack had taught her, testing its sound as it left her mouth.

'I never thought I'd be called that.' He thought as his coffee arrived.

“Anymore orders?” The older country accented woman served them. “This one,” She flicked Alice’s nose, returning her to her shyness. “Needs ta eat!”

“She does,” Sephiroth agreed and pulled the yellow table cloth as Alice hid her head underneath it. “So she’d like one pancake. I don’t think she could manage more than one. She’ll also have an orange juice.” The woman seemed pleased, and wrote it on her notepad with glee.

“I want Pancake’s too!” Zack shouted.

“Shush Zack!” Sephiroth hissed before the woman could chastise him herself. “Others are still in bed.”

Zack covered his mouth. “I want a coffee too.” He whispered; his immature behaviour either a morning habit or his way of celebrating the ‘adoption’ of Alice.

Sephiroth shook his head. “He’s hyperactive enough without sugar and caffeine. He’ll have buttered toast and a glass of water.” The table jolted as Alice began screaming. Zack had disappeared under the table and gripped both her ankles to pull her under, hollering that he was a hungry monster. “Zack!” Hearing the firm voice, he sat up with a guilty smile.

The woman helped the rather shocked Alice back onto her chair and re-wrote Zack’s order. “I see what you mean.” She agreed.

“I’ll have a full breakfast… with no beans.”

Zack laughed.
“Beans beans good for the heart!
The more you eat the more you far—OW!” Sephiroth whacked him over the head with the menu.

“When was the last time she had a wash?” The woman chided; her attention on Alice.

Sephiroth wondered how to reply; then decided that honesty was the best policy. “She’s just come into our care so we’re not too sure; we’re headed to Midgar where she’ll be treated.” His answer seemed to satisfy her and she left with the promise that food would arrive shortly.

“Good answer.” Zack said.

“When will you learn how to behave? Were you taught no manners? A Soldier should show more discipline.” Sephiroth berated, he would mention this to Angeal; a famous lecture was obviously in order.

Zack balanced a spoon on his nose. “What do you mean?” He watched the heavenly scent of hot flour and butter force Alice into a trance as the essence of their cooking breakfast wafted from the kitchen and arrived soon after.

With Alice’s knife and fork technique lacking to the point of non-existence; Sephiroth demonstrated how to cut her pancake but wound up unintentionally cutting it all into little bite-sized pieces for her after she’d stabbed the pancake and it had almost skid off her plate. “Chew properly.”

Her first mouthful was a sight to behold. Her eyes bugged out of her head and the smile on her face would have put the Cheshire Cat to shame. Zack, on the other hand, wallowed in his disappointment. Playing with his toast he tried carving a face into it, looking longingly at Alice’s meal. "Taste good?" He asked her.
Sephiroth watched, concerned as she tried to swallow each piece whole and reached for another mouthful but stabbed her placemat as Zack playfully pulled her plate away. “Nah! I don’t think you’re enjoying it!” Alice’s eyes became wide, teary and carried a betrayed look; her lip began to quiver as she stared longingly at her stolen plate.

Sephiroth quickly returned her plate to her and slapped Zack across the head, hoping he’d stunted the loud wails Alice was capable of unleashing. “That’s enough Zack!” When he turned back to Alice he found her gone.
He soon saw her sat in a corner with the plate on her lap forcing as much of the pancake into her mouth as fast as she could. Sephiroth sighed. “Alice, come sit at the table.” She ignored him and Sephiroth moved to escort her back. “Alice,” He stood over her. “Table, now.” She huddled into herself further, spilling warm butter onto her lap.
“Come, I’ll carry your plate for you.” He reached out to take it as she shrieked and stabbed his hand with her fork then pushed three mouthfuls of pancake into her mouth. Sephiroth ignored her, even as she choked, lifted her plate and wrapped his other arm around her middle to carry her back to her seat. She screamed as she was lifted; reaching for her plate until she was sat back down and it was placed back in front of her. She reached out to take another piece of pancake but was stopped by Sephiroth’s hand. “Slowly.” He instructed.
Alice watched her food with a rabid expression until Sephiroth removed his hand and allowed her to eat again. “Don’t you ever do that again!” He warned Zack who appeared shocked and guilty.

“I haven’t seen a starving kid before…”

“You’re in Soldier; you’ll be used to it soon.” He said as he observed Alice lick every crumb from her plate and then clutch the plate to her chest, wishing for more. “If you let go of the plate you can have a drink.” Sephiroth negotiated, moving her orange juice from her coaster to her placemat.
It took some thought until she bravely decided to drop the plate, which Sephiroth caught, and lifted the plastic cup. The juice mostly ran down her chin and neck as she struggled to drink from a cup rather than a plastic bottle. The taste took her by surprise, it was stronger than water and milk but she quickly decided she liked it.
“Slowly.” Sephiroth reminded as she lowered her empty cup and Sephiroth quickly passed it and the plate to the passing country woman before Alice could take possession of them again.

"Finished already?" The woman said. "No wonder you eat so fast, you're only skin and bones." She smiled at her before walking out to the kitchen.

"Time to go." Sephiroth stood and walked to the corridor with Zack and Alice following him, having left some gil on their breakfast table.

“Alice, do you have to go?”

“What do you mean go?” Sephiroth interrogated. “We are leaving.”

Zack shook his head. “I mean go. You know,” He groaned, “how do you educated people say it? Use the fa-tili-tili-tyes…”

Sephiroth nodded. “She should. I believe there’s one through there.” He pointed to the door near the desk.

“Go on then.”

Sephiroth was horrified. “Excuse me?”

“Well she is yours!”

“No, she can’t be!” Inside Sephiroth began to panic and quickly regained his composure. “As your superior I leave this duty to you.”

Zack pouted. “I won’t be put on toilet duty; if you go in there no one’ll think anything! If I go in they’ll think… well… everything!”

Sephiroth snapped his attention down to Alice; she wasn’t hopping from foot-to-foot with a desperate expression. “She seems fine.”

“Alice,” Zack bent down. “Do you have to pee?”
Confused, she didn’t answer and began to chew her fist.
“Oh great… she doesn’t know what pee means!”

Sephiroth huffed and tried to leave again. “Daddy.” The little voice stopped him. Alice held her arms up, wanting to be carried. Sephiroth complied; amongst the gluey butter she’d spilt down herself was a wet sensation, Sephiroth felt across the backs of her legs, happy he’d kept his gloves on as the wet warmth coated his glove.

“Oh that’s why.” Zack said. “You should wash your hands before we leave.” Alice was landed in his grip as Sephiroth pushed past. “I don’t think he really minded.” He said to her.

Sephiroth grimaced as he washed his gloves and wiped his hands. ‘What am I getting myself into?’

Chapter Text

Much to Sephiroth’s annoyance and Zack’s mistake Alice was strapped in the middle back seat without a view, causing her to become curious of the things inside the car. “Wha’ this?” (What’s this?) She loudly questioned, stretching forward to reach the gear stick.

“Leave it!” Sephiroth made sure to keep his eyes on the busy road.
A loud snort filled the air, followed by a continuous snoring. Sephiroth frowned, if Zack fell on him he would not hesitate to decapitate the teenager... and find immense satisfaction in doing so. His thought was interrupted when a tiny giggle entered his ears… and it surprised him. It was the first time he’d heard ‘his child’ laugh, and just as he’d begun to believe that one so damaged had lost the capability of laughter or perhaps had never received it. He couldn’t deny it was a nice sound, like tiny silver bell’s jingling back and forth, or glass chimes in a gentle breeze. Yet it did not bring a smile to his face.
More giggles surfaced from her when Zack snored again.
‘I wonder what’s so funny about this.’ He stopped the car as he approached the traffic lights.

“Num, num, num…” Zack munched in his sleep, turning his head from side-to-side. Sephiroth stared for a moment; if Zack truly was asleep Sephiroth wondered if he should suggest a sleep specialist.

After a while there were some small squeaky grunts coming from the back of the car,
Alice had become so quiet that Sephiroth had to remind himself she was there. “What are you doing?” He barked, looking into the car mirror and watching her tug on her seatbelt.
She suddenly stopped and lent back.
“I repeat, what were you doing?”
She lowered her head and began to chew her hand again.
Sephiroth ignored her, paying attention to his driving. The faint click he heard was just background noise until Alice crawled over the gear stick to get to Zack, obviously having learnt how to unbuckle herself.
“Child!” Sephiroth swerved the car as he temporarily lost control, waking Zack.

Zack blinked a few times and then looked at the tearful little girl on his lap, looking up at him with big unhappy green eyes. “Get back in your seat.” He gently spoke. A large divergence compared to Sephiroth’s tone.

Sephiroth parked and Zack climbed out to move Alice into the back of the car.
“What did you think you were doing?” He growled, glaring over his shoulder at the toddler as she was buckled in again. Not making the same mistake Zack moved her to the side seat and folded her blanket beneath her to boost her height so she could stare out the window. “Why didn’t you entertain her?”

“I’ll look after her! This is my first time babysitting you know!” He returned to the front seat, rather annoyed at Sephiroth’s behaviour. Had he known becoming a SOLDIER meant playing babysitter he might have re-thought his running away from home last year.

“Hodo…” Alice muttered, tugging on a loose lock of Sephiroth’s hair.

Sephiroth immediately tensed. How could this…thing…confuse him for Hojo?

“Alice, baby, this is Sephiroth, your dad. Not Hojo.” Zack explained, leaning his head back and trying to get comfortable.

“Daddy Zack?”

“No, that’s daddy, I’m Uncle Zack… I guess…”

“Hodo…” Alice repeated after a few seconds of silence. “Dat dat?” (What’s that?) She pointed to a house out the car window.

“That’s a house. It’s where people live.” Zack said. “You see, people live in houses, just like you will!”

Sephiroth tensed as his hair was pulled again. “Hodo!”

The many winding roads intertwined around Midgar’s Train Tracks and gradually created a larger motorway that led to the upper level of Sector 8. There, Sephiroth parked in a large car park especially for those employed by Shinra, which was why it was so heavily guarded.

Zack watched as Sephiroth pulled his phone from one of the pockets lining the interior of his coat and dialled in haste. “Lazard,” he greeted. “Zack and I are in Sector 8, the mission was a success but it has left me with... responsibilities that need my immediate attention.” Zack grinned and Alice managed to unbuckle her seatbelt again. “Yes, there’s currently a short delay but I’ll arrive at the Shinra Building early tomorrow.” He hung up and left the car, followed by Zack.

“So, am I going to your place?” He asked hopefully.

Sephiroth pulled Alice from the back and wrapped her up in the blanket, as if he were trying to conceal her from the world. “Yes. For now, it might be best if Alice has someone to keep her entertained. Cissnei should be arriving later as well.”
Zack was animated with excitement, he imagined Sephiroth to have a huge house to himself, an abode fit for royalty, perhaps with pillars and marble floors, statues and classical paintings, or a slide rather than stairs? Would there be a large playground for him to explore with Alice? He would make sure she had a bath first though… perhaps Sephiroth had his own swimming pool?
Zack had no idea where he was headed as he followed Sephiroth through LOVELESS Square into the street overlooking it.

“Be still.” Sephiroth ordered as Alice squirmed in his arms, leaning up to look over his shoulder at the large fountain they were passing. Quite a few people stopped to stare, Zack wondered if that was normal or if they’d noticed the child sat on their Hero’s arm, fussing and traumatised as she’d left the car that had become her symbol of safety.

Sephiroth lived in Sector 8’s Fountain Place, up the steps and straight ahead in the last apartment building on the left-hand-side overlooking the Reactors and, like all the apartments in Sector 8, this one had a heavy brown double door and a Key-card Slot with a pad of numbers that had five codes to enter.
Alice turned as the key-card slot beeped, the card was run through and the pad of numbers made familiar and interesting sounds. “Beep’s!” Alice croaked; her throat dry as she attempted to imitate the noise. “Beeps! Bips! Bi’! B’eps!”

Zack was silent, surprised that the mansion he had envisioned was actually a very normal apartment building.
The doors clicked and swung open, allowing them to walk into a long hallway lined with apartment doors and a tiled floor similar to the one in the Square surrounding the fountain. The walls were tall and a staircase was on the left side. The numbers plated to the doors began at 1 in a polished silver number. For a moment, Zack assumed this must be Sephiroth’s apartment, Sephiroth certainly was number one! But to his further surprise he found Sephiroth climbing the staircase.

Alice became nervous as they approached another floor with four more doors, but this one wasn’t Sephiroth’s either, not until they’d climbed three more flights of stairs, where, on the very top floor the last four doors were placed.
Sephiroth approached door number 16, the one closest to the stair case, and opened it with the same key-card and numbers he had used on the front door.

Sephiroth wasn’t surprised when the door slammed shut; Zack seemed unable to close doors quietly.
Alice hid her face in his brown streaked pauldron with a loud screech. Sephiroth made another note in his head to find cures for her obvious agoraphobia... or maybe it was phonophobia?
“Zack!” He growled and turned; not to see Zack, but Genesis leant against the door with his arms folded and his foot on the door to support his weight whilst grinning an unsettling and sly smile.
Sephiroth noted the white shirt Genesis wore; the one with breast pockets and rolled sleeves. He also wore dark grey jeans and white socks. Just as slyly, Sephiroth considered smearing Alice all over him, ruining his clean appearance with nasty dark smudges.

“So it is true.” Genesis commented; staring at Alice’s back as she tried to curl into Sephiroth, crying and whining in her discomfort, finding Genesis’ presence just as distressing as the new location surrounding her. “You’re not getting out of this one my friend, the fates are cruel—”

“As are you.”

His sly grin became wider. “As I need to be.”

Zack hollered to be let in and rattled the bronze doorknob. “Hey!” He pounded his fist on the door. “Don’t lock me out!”

Genesis pulled a duplicate of Sephiroth’s card-key from his pocket, then punched in each number until the door opened again. “You should have been faster, Zack.”

Zack pouted up at Genesis. “The way you slammed that door I nearly lost my fingers! My good fingers! My nose picking fingers!”

“Hi Zack!” Cissnei’s voice sounded from the last door on the left side of the room amongst a strong soapy scent and the sound of running water.

“Only joking Cissnei!”

“No he’s not.” Angeal was the next one to be heard, in the bathroom with her.

“Don’t say that!” He shouted, hurrying in there to drown his mentor.

“Shouldn’t all of you be at Headquarters?” Sephiroth questioned with a sigh, trying to ignore Alice as she clung onto his hair. ‘Since when did I become her protector?’ He’d heard that children trusted people too easily but this was the first time he’d experienced it.

Genesis walked to Sephiroth and laid his hands on Alice’s small shoulders. It wasn’t appreciated and like an unhappy kitten she dug her nails into Sephiroth’s clothing to climb away.
“As the result of called in favours Angeal and I are off base for today.” He flexed his hands to rid them of the evil texture Alice had left him with. “A quick message told us all we needed to know and Angeal rightly decided that you’d need our support. I on the other hand only wished to see the… spawn… of your actions.”

“Why didn’t you call us, Sephiroth?” Angeal asked as he walked out the bathroom. The black sleeves of his jumper rolled up and his arms wet to the elbows with vanilla scented bubbles. “We would have found out about Alice eventually, or were you planning on abandoning her before anyone found out?” He accused.

Sephiroth pulled a stern face as he stared Angeal in the eye. “Zack told you?”

“I told them!” Cissnei announced, hopping from the bathroom, casually holding Zack in a painfully tight headlock. Sephiroth smiled, amused, Cissnei had always been stronger than she appeared. “I’ve known you for how many years? You need reinforcements, more than just this SOLDIER.” She tightened her grip on Zack’s neck.

“Definitely.” Genesis agreed.

“Let go… can’t… breathe…”

“Stop complaining Zack.” Angeal said as his students face turned an alarming shade of blue.

“I’ll leave her with you then.” Sephiroth prised Alice away from his chest to hold her out by her underarms. She screamed and kicked her feet, almost slipping several times as she sobbed and trembled all over.

“Hold her properly, Sephiroth!” Angeal barked. Genesis, being closer, took Alice into his own arms, pulling a face as she stuck to him.

“I told you not to wear your best shirt.” Cissnei giggled, released Zack and allowed him the privilege of oxygen.

Genesis knitted his brows together and turned his nose up to escape the unpleasant scent Alice radiated. “It’s not my good one.” But the white shirt was white no longer.

Alice was no happier being held by Genesis, she was exhausted, wounded, sick from neglect and afraid. She reached for Sephiroth and pulled the unhappiest face.
“Just give her to Cissnei.” Sephiroth grumbled, fatigued as he unclipped his pauldron’s, allowing them to slip off his shoulders and into his hands.

“Nope!” Cissnei shook her head. “That’s my time up I’m afraid, Tseng’ll kill me if I take any longer.”

Sephiroth grabbed her arm as she walked passed. “No, someone has to bathe her.” He spoke harshly, but on his face was an expression of worry.

She shook her head and pulled her arm away. “You’ll have to do that yourself. Angeal, Genesis, keep me posted.” She fled the room; Genesis had the door open for her fast escape and closed it the moment she disappeared, standing in front of it so Sephiroth couldn’t chase after her to drag her back.

“Don’t look so scared, Seph’!” Zack wheezed, not quite recovered from Cissnei’s strength. “We’ll help you.” But his words only seemed to perturb Sephiroth further.

Genesis set Alice down on the floor; she limped to her father and clung to his leg. Sephiroth let out a long sigh. “Let me change first.” His leathers, covered in smudges and grubby fingerprints, would have to be dry-cleaned while his pauldron’s and wrist guards would need polishing.
Zack took hold of Alice and comforted her as Sephiroth walked to the other side of the room and through the door on the right leading to his bedroom.

His was a bedroom that many people (particularly women) fantasised about. How did his room reflect him? Would it be a sterile environment, a reminder of his life in Shinra? An abode full of weapons and personal trophies from the many wars he had fought? Or would it be a cosy nest specifically for pleasure and womanizing? Many would have been surprised.

Sephiroth’s bedroom was a comfortable, normal bedroom. It could have belonged to anyone in the Sector.

A frameless double bed dressed in green with a brown winter throw was opposite the door against a brick wall between two long windows each baring a single green curtain.
Two long windows were on the brick wall opposite the door, each dressed with a single green Each bedside had a folding table, the left personalised with a white desk lamp, book and coaster.
A wardrobe and bookcase were pushed to the left of the room against a white wall and a mirror was placed in the corner near the end of the bed.

Anyone who knew Sephiroth knew that his room suited him perfectly, he hadn’t always lived in the apartment alone and though there were no photos of his deceased love her belongings were still there, from the brown sheepskin rug on her side of the bed to the textured white on black canvases of bird cages and florets that Sephiroth would run his fingers over, as she had, wishing he could find her in the fingerprints she’d left there as she used her hands to examine the picture.

Sephiroth became solemn as he undressed. He stared down at the filth Alice had smeared on him. “Humph, it seems I’ll be the one needing a bath.” He spoke to himself. The thought of a peaceful long bath made him sigh in want.

“Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!” He heard Alice crying for him.

Daddy, surely that couldn’t be him. He finished changing into lax black trousers and a loose mauve sweatshirt. He sat on the left of the bed, leaning with his arms on his knees and lowered his head in thought, leaving his soiled clothes on the floor.

“Sephiroth,” Genesis didn’t bother to knock, “there’s no use hiding, the job will still need doing.” He walked in.

“Don’t you think it would be better for Zack to wash her rather than me?”

“Were you involved with her mother?”

“Yes?”

“Then it’s your job.”

“Genesis, I am not her father, it wouldn’t be appropriate.”

“You knew her mother better than any of us; therefore you are the only one who may be considered appropriate for the job. My friend, the fates are cruel there are no dreams, no honour remains the arrow has left, the bow of the goddess.”

Begrudgingly, Sephiroth complied.

Alice, sat in the bath, was surrounded by bubbles and looking miserable, her large eyes were full of sorrow and each corner of her mouth pulled downwards in a tragic pout.
“That face,” Genesis mused. “I’ve seen it somewhere before.”

“Eight years ago when we washed Killmouseke.” Angeal knelt beside the bath with a pile of bubbles in his hand, hoping to improve Alice’s mood by blowing them onto her face. It was not appreciated; she shrieked and tried to crawl from the bath.

“It was easier getting her in the bath than that stupid cat.” Genesis chuckled.

“It was your plan that was stupid, not the cat. Putting the goldfish in the bath to lure him in…” Sephiroth reminisced, shaking his head in a guilty sort of shame.

“I learnt a very important lesson back then.” Genesis said.

“Which was?” Angeal asked.

“Mr Flipfloppe Fish was allergic to bubbles and goldfish can die from anaphylactic shock.”

“We nearly lost Killmouseke too…” Sephiroth added.

Zack, who had been listening in the doorway, spoke up. “How come? Did he drown?”

“No,” Angeal told him. “He choked on Mr Flipfloppe.”
Alice ducked her head under the bubbles as she sneezed, blowing a spray of them up, this soon produced a new set of tearless sobs and she didn’t like how the loose dirt on her face stung her eyes as she rubbed them.

“You should wash her hair first.” Instructed Angeal. “You’ll have to buy her some bath toys tomorrow.”
Sephiroth looked around; hoping someone would protest, but Genesis and Zack had disappeared to raid his fridge. “Sephiroth.” He obeyed the firm voice and knelt beside Angeal. On the floor was a folded fluffy grey towel covered with soap bottles and washcloths.

Alice lunged forwards and latched onto Sephiroth’s neck, refusing to let go as she tried to climb out the bath. “No!” She wheezed as she was pushed down by her shoulders.

“Her favourite word.” Sephiroth grunted and continued to shove and push on her as she stood in the bath.

Cringing, Angeal hissed and reached out suddenly. “Don’t let her slip!” Sephiroth pushed her down into the bath with a loud ‘dunk’. She sat in tears as he reached for a wide toothed comb to untangle her hair before washing it.

The bathroom floor was tiled black and white; there was a long shelf above the bath covered in Shinra’s own brand of bathroom supplies. At the very end of the room, opposite the door and under the small clouded window was a toilet, the lid was closed and Alice’s outrageous gown had been discarded there.
The sink was next to the shower near the door and the bin was under that, leaving the room very narrow, very crowded and claustrophobic, as opposed to the living room where Zack sat on the sofa watching a crime drama and drinking a glass of water. He was envious of Genesis, sat on his right in the matching leather armchair with a glass of apple wine, apparently it had been a gift to Sephiroth who, as it turned out, was allergic to apples, and so kept the bottle strictly for guests.

“I’m a bit disappointed.” Zack confessed. “I expected a bit more than… you know… this.”

Genesis turned his sharp eyes away from the television. “Well what did you expect? It’s almost twelve PM, the only good thing about this show is the gore and they’ve censored that—”

“Not the show! Sephiroth’s home.”

“Ah, I see.” He placed his drink on the table and then sat back with his legs crossed and his arms folded. “Were you expecting walls lined with trophies? Or perhaps a luxurious abode with a Jacuzzi and sauna?”

Zack rubbed the back of his head. “Well… kind’a both of those.”

“So many imagine that. The truth is that Sephiroth tries to live as privately and simply as he can, attempting to create something similar to a normal life.”

“Yeah but still, with all that money he could live better than the President!”

“What do mean?”

“Well, Shinra has to pay a lot to keep him! Y’know, what with him being a Hero and all. Right?”

Genesis smirked and lifted his drink again. “The methods by which Shinra keeps Sephiroth may well silence you for several days. But I assure you that his wage is lower than yours.”

Zack gawped.

“NOT HER FACE!” Angeal yelled.

“What the?” Zack was up and running, Genesis followed closely behind as they barged into the bathroom.

Alice was half leaning back, held there by Sephiroth who had a container of water in his hand and the back of her neck in the other as she desperately clawed the sides of the bath and hollered.
Sephiroth had a look of confusion on his face as he stared at Angeal for answers, Alice’s face was scrunched shut, she struggled to sit up and was sputtering, her face was wet and the bath water had become brown. “You said ‘wet her hair’!”

Angeal frowned; Sephiroth released Alice’s neck and allowed her to sit up, trying to hold her in place by her shoulders. “Yes, her HAIR, not her face!”

Sephiroth released her and stubbornly folded his arms. “Her face is dirty too.”

“We’ll handle that later with a wash cloth. Sit down Alice!”

Zack knelt next to her and reached into the bath, having two handfuls of bubbles he smeared them on his face, forming a bubble beard. “Hey look! I look like Angeal now, don’t I?” Angeal rolled his eyes, since he had grown the goatee he hadn’t heard the end of it, he wondered what his mother would say when she saw it… The bubble beard seemed to distract Alice rather well as her hair was washed.

“Stop that!” Sephiroth demanded as Alice lent forward to drink the bath water.

“Genesis, get a glass of water for her.” Angeal said; watching Alice whine as Sephiroth pulled her slippery hair (having tediously untangled what he could with a wide-toothed comb) to keep her from drinking the bath water.

“Blond?” Sephiroth exclaimed as he rinsed the conditioner from her hair, the last of the muddy colour spilling into the water. “Is this hair dye?” He questioned aloud, staring at the brand of conditioner he used almost every day.

Angeal smirked. “No, you just washed the dirt away.”

Blond may have been an understatement, Alice was platinum blond, a silvery sort of gold. ‘It must be a coincidence.’

Genesis left the water on the bath edge, it almost fell in as he turned and left. “I’ll see you all tonight.” He called, the slamming door echoed throughout the flat. Alice grabbed the glass and swallowed its contents in long greedy gulps.

“Where’s he going?” Zack asked, his bubble moustache falling off.

Angeal picked up a washcloth. “He was probably summoned by Lazard… he didn’t exactly leave the Depute Commissioners room with camaraderie.” He handed it to Sephiroth, thinking he might have to renew the water soon.

“Genesis comes and goes as he pleases, as does Angeal, in-case you hadn’t noticed.” Sephiroth mentioned, taking the glass from Alice he scrubbed her face, ignoring her squirms and cries as she swatted her arms up to her head, twisted away from the flannel that moved over her eyes as she tried to push strong hand away and wriggle out of his other hand that clutched the back of her neck.

She suddenly howled, breaking into sobs again. “’DOP!” (STOP!) But Sephiroth didn’t hesitate to get the job done; he had Soldier’s hands and insisted on immobilizing Alice by gripping her neck, reminding Angeal of how a dog would control its pups by gripping the scruffs of their necks.

Sephiroth frowned and rubbed over her eye repeatedly, it wasn’t coming clean; the sad reason for this became obvious when he cleansed the rest of her face.
A large bruise black in the centre with a sore yellow outline ringed around her left eye, there was also a bruise on her right cheek, swollen and black. “…Angeal,”

Angeal sadly shook his head. “We should have expected that.” He glanced at Zack, who, although being a Soldier, wasn’t used to seeing purposely inflicted injuries on children. He stared, stunned, even as the released toddler waded to him and tried to hug him, seeking comfort as the deep wounds on her feet opened and bled.
Angeal laid his hand on Sephiroth’s shoulder as he turned his attention to his student. “Zack,” Zack had been strong until this moment, and he was proud of that. “Sit her down now.” Zack nodded but was too afraid to touch her for fear of hurting her more. Angeal helped ease her down and then left Sephiroth to finish the job, leaving with Zack to ensure his students emotions would not boil over.

More bruises appeared as the filth was washed away, Alice’s few sections unmarred skin were as fair as his own, which he checked and double checked.
The bruising was extensive and worrying, a clear reflection of the unspoken horror experienced in her young life. She had the remainder of a strangulation mark around her neck; bruises littered her arms alongside puncture scars from repetitive tubes and needles inserted over a period of time.
Her knees were skinned which led Sephiroth to the more extensive injury; long open wounds were sliced across each sole of her feet, between her toes and up her heel, infected, blistered and bleeding.
The worst bruise she had was dark purple and on her chest, the shape of a shoeprint; Sephiroth could tell it was a size twelve, the same size as Hojo’s…

He was careful not to touch the bruises under her arms as he lifted her from the water, drained the bath and wrapped her in a towel. He carried her to his room where he sat her on the bed and dressed her in a large orange T-shirt.

She chewed her knuckles and Sephiroth further noticed the dark bruising around her wrists and her missing fingernails.
He pulled her hand from her mouth to study the bruising further and she screamed as he accidentally put pressure on the bruising.

Sephiroth hadn’t given comfort in years but forced himself to pull Alice into his arms and sit with her on his lap, holding her tightly he endeavoured to stop her crying.
Her thumb was back in her mouth and her eyes began to drift shut (Sephiroth noted that rocking and patting her back helped to ease her into sleep), her eyelids darkened and swollen with bruising. Sephiroth felt sick to his stomach, knowing that he had been in the vicinity of the man who had inflicted this torture.
As Alice began to sleep and her tremors lessened Sephiroth studied her face.

“She does bear a resemblance to you.”
Sephiroth’s head snapped up. Angeal stood in the doorway, somehow reading his thoughts.

“That’s impossible.” He whispered.

“Did you find anything else on her?”

Unconsciously, Sephiroth held her tighter. “The bruising is extensive and there are deep wounds on her feet. I’ll bandage them while she sleeps.”

He nodded and stared at Alice’s feet, hidden under the long T-shirt she was swamped in.
“I’m taking Zack to my apartment for a while. He’s shaken up and I don’t want him to see anymore, not for a while.”

Sephiroth nodded but continued to look down at the sleeping toddler. “Thank you, Angeal.” Angeal left the apartment, leaving the two of them alone.

Chapter Text

Alice was used to awakening in new and strange places, but this place was different than any place she’d roused in before.
After a dreamless sleep she’d awoken in a soft bed and as she began to move had heard a rustle and then noticed the plastic bag laid beneath her, placed there by Sephiroth to protect his mattress from any ‘accidents’.

The room was not polished in metallic sterile colours and lacked a chemical smell; rather, it bore a refreshing floral and fruity scent, the same scent in her hair.
As she sat up she examined the oversized T-shirt she wore and the white bandages wrapped around her feet. She pulled at her hair, free of tangles, silky platinum blond locks that fell to her shoulders rather than piled atop her head like a bird’s nest.

Wriggling off the bed she struggled to stand on her sore feet, unused to the bandaging wrapped on them; making her feet appear Wutese in the way some girls had bound folded feet in tight cloth.

She hobbled to the wardrobe, tugged its door open and a large sack fell out, spilling stuffed toys onto the floor, pooling around her in a puddle of dusty fluff. She sat on the soft seat of toys and pulled a buried treasure out from underneath a purple bear.

The alluring toy was a rabbit, once white and soft it had become grey, matted and stained. Its inner ears were lined pink; its eyes were embroidered black and it had a pink narrow mouth and nose. It was clothed in a terrible blue jacket and its matted tail was barely attached. It was the worst toy of the bunch! Yet it soon found love, cuddled and squeezed by a child once as ill-kept as it was.

That was the scene that greeted Sephiroth as he entered the room, holding his phone to his ear he stared at the mess on the floor and the child sat in the centre of it.
At once Alice held her newfound friend defensively and glowered at his approaching feet.

“She’s fine,” he said into the phone. “The noise was simply…” He looked at the scene again, wondering how to describe it. “…her becoming adventurous.” He frowned at the rabbit in Alice’s grip… it was looking at him. “Anyway, she has large open wounds on her feet… Yes, I’ll bring her in tomorrow.” He flipped the phone shut and stared at Alice once again.
She was continuing to sit amongst the teddies, looking afraid and stubborn as she squeezed the toy rabbit. Her legs had sunk down into the teddies and stuffing.
“I won’t take him from you.” Sephiroth assured her, checked his bed for wet patches and smiled when he found none. Again he turned his attention towards her as he remade the bed.

Alice was holding the rabbit up by his large, dilapidated, floppy ears and rubbed her little snub nose against its own as she mumbled words Sephiroth couldn’t understand.
“Pancake!” Was the one word she spoke intelligible to Sephiroth’s ears.

“I don’t have any pancakes.” He told her as he finished making the bed, walked around it to the teddies and began throwing them into the sack they’d tumbled from.
Alice climbed over the mass of teddies and tripped over a few as she wandered into the sitting room; curious of her new environment and observed by Sephiroth whose curiosity of her behaviour matched her own.

She stood in the middle of the living room, continuing to hug her cotton-tailed companion as she looked around.

The lounge had wood flooring and white walls. A bookcase housing empty photo frames sat between Sephiroth’s room and another door on the left.
Opposite the bedroom was the front door were another bookcase of empty photo frames stood beside it.
To the right of the room were two long windows with green tie-back curtains and a small dining table with two chairs between them.

Confused Sephiroth watched Alice as she contentedly sat under the table for several minutes. He was beginning to ponder whether she was alright when she crawled out and tripped over the hem of the giant T-shirt he’d dressed her in.
He caught her as she fell and stood from his crouched position as she moved towards the entertainment area opposite the windows, it was nothing special, only a black sofa and armchair angled before a glass oval table and a television set between the bathroom door and the kitchen door on the left, full of Alice’s undiscovered adventures.
The kitchen, a narrow room lined with black speckled surfaces with lines of cupboards built above them and a well-used sink and cooker built into the surfaces on the right.
The floor was tiled black and white, a tall fridge-freezer was near the door and a washing machine was at the end of the room near a small window.

Alice stared into the oven front as if she were staring into another world. Sephiroth turned the dial, lighting the oven interior with blue flames and chuckled as Alice yelped and fell back. She glared at him until she picked herself up and returned to the sitting room and into the last unexplored room next to Sephiroth’s bedroom, his office.

Sephiroth’s personal office was small, painted a calming blue with a single window at the end. He kept the blinds closed probably to hide the haunting view of a Mako Reactor.
On a wide desk hidden behind the door was a computer out-dated by three years, a phone, keyboard and another empty frame near the mouse.
Under the window was an all-in-one printer and the walls were lined with short bookcases used as filing cabinets.

“Leave this room.” Sephiroth demanded; grabbing Alice’s arm he tugged her away, she almost tripped over as the T-shirt fell off her shoulder and tangled around her feet.
“You never go into that room.” He firmly added, closing the office door and wondered if he should lock it.
He sat in his armchair, eyes closed as he contemplated his next plan of action. What should he do now? How would he keep her entertained? What was he going to do about her bedwetting? Wasn’t she too old for that anyway … or not? And in the very back of his mind was anger, anger at his deceased wife for leaving him in this confusing situation.
His thoughts were interrupted as Alice toyed with his trouser leg. She didn’t speak, only pointed to the wall beside the television.
Sephiroth stared, perturbed at the inky black scribble there and unconsciously slapped her indicating hand in anger. Wasn’t she supposed to cry? ‘No,’ Sephiroth reasoned as he moved to crouch before his wall and tried to erase the black ink with the pad of his finger. ‘She’s had worse blows than that.’ But her cries were only delayed and loud unhappy howls filled the room. “Enough!”

“What have you done now?”

Sephiroth turned, hearing Angeal’s scolding tone, Alice’s cries having drowned out the familial beeps from the number pad. “Tell him.” He ordered.

“Not her!” Angeal lifted Alice into a comforting embrace. “You!”

“Me?” He exclaimed. “You think I did this?” He motioned to the scribble.

“Has your father been drawing on the walls?” He comically questioned her. She nodded and her cries dulled. “There’s my answer.”

“Angeal, you of all people should treat this seriously!”

“What’s so serious about it? There’s no permanent damage.”

“What am I supposed to do?” Sephiroth had led armies into battle, brought down entire forts, rescued men, women and children from the grips of the enemy but should a toddler scribble on his wall he was lost!

Angeal laughed. “A little D.I.Y, I’m sure even Alice could help.” Sephiroth stubbornly pouted; an expression unused since he was six. “Now, what did you do?”

“A slap won’t kill her.”

“Sephiroth…” His famous lecture was stopped before it could begin when Alice wriggled out of his grip to lift the barely forgotten rabbit off the floor by its ear and carried it to Angeal.

“Pancake.” She sniffled, holding the rabbit up for him to see.

“For the last time, there are no Pancakes!”

Angeal rolled his eyes and bent down to examine the bunny Alice coddled. “That’s the name of the toy, Sephiroth…”

“Naming a rotting shred of fluff after food… Is she going to become one of those diabetic obese children full of cavities?”

“Sephiroth! This is a good original name, it’s imaginative.”

“If you’re such a child expert why don’t you keep her?”

“Your father’s in a bad mood… you’ll get used to that.” Angeal sighed.

“No she won’t!” Sephiroth announced, pacing into the kitchen and pulling Alice’s old clothes from the trash. “She’s leaving!”

Scared of Sephiroth’s fury, Alice began sobbing again and gripped Angeal tighter.
“We’ll come back when your attitude’s improved.” He left the apartment, taking Alice with him.

Sephiroth paced back and forth. He balled Alice’s clothes into tangles and threw them to the other side of the room then stormed into his bedroom where he huffed and pulled a photo album from his chest of draws, then moved back to the living room and sat in his armchair, collecting himself before he dared to examine the photos.

The photo he chose was his first vacation in Banora, aged four. He carefully compared it to the image of Alice etched in his mind. Alice had his thin lips and skin tone. As a child he’d had a round face, Alice’s was the same.
The next picture was Posie when she was eleven; Alice had her eyes, chin and brow, he found himself wondering whose nose she’d inherited, a feature that would only define itself in the next two years or more.

“But she’s too young to be mine…” He reasoned as he turned the pages of the album and observed pictures of days he considered happier, happier because he’d lived alongside his closest friend. That thought made him scowl. The woman who had been by his side had abandoned him and hid in the slums until a bullet had been lodged in her brain, yet no matter how angry he was at her he could not bring himself to hate her. And that angered him more.

Angeal’s apartment was on the third floor directly beneath Sephiroth’s.
Alice sat on his lap and Genesis sat next to them. They spoke quietly as Zack rummaged through the kitchen.

“What’s wrong with Sephiroth?” Genesis muttered. “He’s not usually this bad.”

“… He’s grieving… and no doubt in shock.”

Genesis pulled a hidden photo from behind a potted plant on the shelf by the kitchen door, then glared at the bug that fell on him. “You'd better do something about these plants in your rooms.”

“Those plants represent nature. Some of us converse with nature to hone our spirit and honour.”

“And some of us are getting bugs in our rooms because of those blasted things.”

“Come on, don't you remember? We used to have bugs in our rooms all the time when we were kids.” He reminisced as Genesis sat next to him again, holding the classified photo in his hand.

“That's why I hate them. And the past, that’s exactly where it can stay. We're in Midgar! We're not supposed to have nature here.” Angeal ignored him, paying attention to the child lent against him, half-lidded, sucking on a stuffed rabbit’s ear. “There is resemblance.” Genesis said, looking from Alice to the photo he held.

“Give that here.” Angeal snatched it from him to compare it himself.
It was a photograph of Posie and Sephiroth laughing, soaked through from the pouring rain in a large field as a lightning storm raged overhead. They hadn’t known Angeal had taken the photo until he’d given them an embossed copy on their first anniversary.
Sephiroth hadn’t been happy; he didn’t like smiling in pictures… But Posie had loved tracing her fingers over the embossed edges, feeling their outlined captured faces.

The photo was thrust behind a cushion as Zack entered to give Alice a mug of warm milk, oblivious to the previous conversation as he helped her drink without spilling the white liquid down the sides of her face.

“I should go see how he is.” Angeal volunteered and passed Alice to Zack.

“Genesis,” Zack drawled as Angeal left.

“What?”

“What’s with all the plants?”

“I suppose that when Angeal’s mother told him that he came from a seed he developed an unhealthy impression of plants…”

Angeal found Sephiroth sat in his armchair with his head in his hands; his long silver bangs covered his face. “Sephiroth?”

“I want to be alone.”

Angeal ignored his request and sat on the sofa near him. “That’s what you want but not what you need.” Sephiroth’s resolution for any hardship had always been isolation.

“What do you want from me?”

“Let it out, Sephiroth.” The words stunned Sephiroth as he slowly turned to gaze at Angeal with sad eyes. “All the pain inside you, it will only build until you let it out, there’s nothing dishonouring about releasing it.”
Sephiroth stubbornly turned away from him.
“Why not?” Angeal replied to the unspoken ‘NO’.

“You are always lecturing me about pride and honour… I am a Soldier! What could be less honourable than to…?” He trailed off, realising that his eyes were reddening, pricked with unshed tears and he found it shameful.

Angeal sat beside him and folded his arms. “I cried when my father died, I cried at the funeral and afterwards.”

“Your father only died!” Sephiroth snapped. “At least he had the decency to get sick and die at home with his family.”

“Whereas Posie simply left you and got herself killed…” He could sense the tears trailing down Sephiroth’s face. “None of us can understand it, and now this child appears—”

“There’s only one explanation for Alice’s existence.”

“I highly doubt Alice is the result of an affair, she even looks like you.” Sephiroth ran his hand down his face and breathed deeply. Angeal laid a hand on Sephiroth’s shoulder. “You trust Professor Hollander, don’t you? He owes me a favour; he can help us solve this mystery today.”

“He’ll access Hojo’s files?” Sephiroth asked, struggling regain his composure.

“I was thinking of a blood test.”

“D.N.A tests are wonderful things.” Posie’s imaginary words spoken the day before echoed through Sephiroth’s mind.

“Fine.”

Hollander didn’t make house calls, but when Angeal summoned him to Sephiroth’s apartment to solve a dilemma he couldn’t help but wonder with a timorous excitement what predicament the Soldier was in as he journeyed from the Shinra Building to the housing of Sector 8.

Sephiroth had composed himself and questioned his friends to distract himself from his previous embarrassment, all of whom sat in his apartment offering advice he jotted down in a large pad of writing paper. "What do children eat?" He asked them. "I don't know what to feed her."

"They don't like vegetables!” Zack exclaimed; sat between Genesis and Angeal. Both rolled their eyes at his answer.

“Well, I suppose the occasional child does." Genesis crossed his elegant legs and placed LOVELESS on his knee. “You should get a book, I know a wonderful library in Sector 6 that’s bound to have something on the subject.”

"And what about bedtime? How can I stop her crawling into my bed?"

“You can work that one out when she has her own room." Angeal spoke.

"She soils herself during the day as well as during the night."

"Add diapers to your shopping list." Genesis replied.

Zack became awkward and almost embarrassed as he thought of Sephiroth changing a diaper, he wasn’t the only one; Sephiroth also grimaced as he wrote the word. "I've never wanted a child. They're too expensive and need too much attention."

Genesis turned a page of LOVELESS. “Is that why Posie left you?”

“Genesis!” Angeal scolded.

“It’s an honest question, did she want a child and you denied her?”

“It wasn’t a subject we spoke about.” Sephiroth coldly replied.

Angeal noticed Zack twitching and answered his question before he could ask. “Yes Zack, Posie was her mothers’ name.” He quickly glanced, around, searching to change the subject. “She looks like a kitten.”

Everyone turned their heads to observe Alice lying on the floor hanging Pancake above her head by his practically detached ears. She didn’t appreciate the attention and shyly skulked to Sephiroth to sit at his feet and hid her face against his leg. “…Wha’ they name?” (What are their names?) She bravely asked after a while.

"That is Angeal," Sephiroth introduced, pointing his pen at each man according to their name. "And Genesis."

She walked around the sofa, examining the two men from every angle, her gaze not dissimilar to Sephiroth’s critical glare.
She finally stopped in front of Angeal and curiously stared at him, her expression changed from one of critical curiosity to wide-eyed innocence. "’Ou a Uncle Angel…?" (Are you an uncle Angel?)

Angeal laughed. "Sure."

She hid behind Angeal’s outstretched leg and timidly glared at Genesis "Tha’ Aunty Gen’sis…?" (Is that an Aunty Genesis?) Laughter filled the room from all but ‘Aunty Genesis’ who was far from impressed.

"I think he is." Angeal finally said as his laughter died down.

Alice warmed to Angeal almost immediately; climbing onto his lap she ignored Zack’s beckons.
Angeal had a nice lap, it was wider and warmer than most and she considered it a bonus that, unlike Zack, Angeal didn’t tickle or bounce her about to the point of exhaustion.
She sat staring at his face with huge eyes and mouth agape, making him uncomfortable. “She has your stare, Sephiroth.” Angeal uneasily mentioned as he squirmed.

“What’s she looking at?” Zack attempted to follow Alice’s gaze.

Genesis smirked. “She’s been hypnotized by his beard.”

Angeal grunted, surprised as Alice hastily reached up and seized the longer strands of hair on his chin, gripping it to pull herself to her knees and reached higher to rub her face against the bristly area.

“That’s strange.” Genesis muttered.

Angeal nodded. “Like I said, she’s a kitten… Cats are weird.”

Zack roared as he tickled Alice’s sides. She screamed and curled into Angeal, sobbing as Zack’s hands were slapped away.

“Zack!” Angeal hissed, rubbing Alice’s back and lifting Pancake off the floor, distracting her with the bunny.

"What should I give her for dinner?" Sephiroth questioned, mostly to himself.

"Pancake's…" Alice hiccupped as she chewed her knuckles.

"There are other foods in the world." Sephiroth said with an amused smile, allowing her naivety to entertain him.

“What?” She looked around for an explanation.

“There’s more food, Alice.” Genesis explained.

"More?" She loudly gasped, her eyes widening with delight.

"I have a batch of soup." Sephiroth said walking into the kitchen. “I’ll heat it up.”

Like a baby Penguin following its mother Alice chased after him. "Wha’ d’oop? ‘ike pancake? Pancake ‘ike pancake.” (What’s soup? Is it like pancakes? Pancake likes pancakes.) She came to an abrupt stop in the kitchen doorway. “Don' you?" She gazed down at Pancake, awaiting an answer. "He say yes, he ‘ike pancake." (He said yes, he likes pancakes.) She finished her chattering and practically bounced the rest of the way into the kitchen.

"I think she likes pancakes." Genesis joked.

"She had it for breakfast! Don’t know what they weren’t feeding her before then." Zack yawned and rubbed the back of his head. “Why’s she talking so much now?”

“Your influence, I’m sure…” Genesis said.

“Is that an insult?”

Angeal smiled. “Perhaps she’s feeling secure now?”

“This is a really weird day… Didn’t think I’d EVER be sat in a Hero’s apartment while he cooks dinner…”

“Just wait until you see him ironing… he never gets all the creases out…” Genesis muttered as he opened a random page of LOVELESS.

Sephiroth pulled a tupperware box from the fridge and caught sight of Alice sat on the floor. She looked tired and weak after her random burst of energy and blood was beginning to seep through the bandages on her feet.
“If you’re too weak to stand go and sit with… your…uncles.” Uncles… It felt strange to refer to them that way and he found himself forcing the words out, wondering where she learnt terms such as Uncle and Aunty.

Alice hobbled back to the living room, balanced on wobbly limbs that collapsed as she fell, her head would have collided with the tables rounded corner had Genesis not stepped forwards and caught her. “Noodle limbs.” He named her condition and lifted her onto his hip. “Perhaps you lay down for a while?” Genesis wondered, knowing as little about children as Sephiroth did.

“There’s no point,” Sephiroth called. “Hollander will be here soon and dinner’s almost ready.”

“Yeah!” Zack cheered as he stood before Genesis and spread his arms open. “Cuddles?”

Alice curled into Genesis. “No.”

Zack ignored her and stepped forward for the denied hug but was pushed at arms length by Genesis. “She said no.” He firmly reprimanded.

“I was asking you.” Zack teased.

Genesis rolled his eyes and stood in the kitchen doorway, ignoring Zack. “You couldn’t buy the child a decent toy?” He asked Sephiroth who stirred the soup to completion. “This rabbit has no hop left.” He dared to flick the dilapidated tail inciting Alice’s unhappy whines as she hugged the bunny closer, her eyes half-lidded with sleep.

“I didn’t buy it for her. She found it in that sack I was given, the one full of toys for the Orphanage.”

“That was six years ago!”

“I dress as Santa Claus for no one.” He ladled the soup into bowls.

Genesis smirked and bumped Alice into a more comfortable position. “Shinra using their poster boy to promote its Orphanages?” Sephiroth nodded and handed him a bowl, the spoon lost beneath the reddish liquid. “Beef?” He asked, taking the bowl.

He nodded again. “And tomato.”

“This isn’t going to have the same result as your chilli con carne is it?”

“There was nothing wrong with it! Perhaps your sickness was caused by the LOVELESS production you visited afterwards?”

Genesis frowned. “Is that an insult towards LOVELESS? There is no hate, only –” His quotation stopped when a bread roll was shoved into his mouth as Sephiroth pushed passed, carrying two bowls and balancing another in the crook of his arm.

Genesis sat Alice at the glass table and set the bowl in front of her. "Don' look like pancake." (It does not look like pancakes.) She gravely announced, but it was food, so she lifted the metal spoon and began to eat, struggling to chew the meaty pieces.

"Hungry?" Zack questioned.

“That’s a large portion...” Angeal warily mentioned. “She should be in a hospital on a planned diet.”

“Hospitals ask questions, how could I answer them? Then I’d be left to deal with Hojo... and my fan-club…”

Angeal cringed as he watched Alice struggle to swallow each piece whole, too exhausted to chew.
Her eyes watered as a particularly large meaty piece became lodged in her throat, relieved by Zack who punched her back. She spewed the food from her mouth, and then promptly vomited the acidic contents from her pained stomach into the bowl.

“Alice!” Zack cooed, rubbing her back as she heaved. Once her breath was regained Alice did something no one even imagined she would do —

— She lifted her spoon and began to eat.

“Stop!” Sephiroth slapped the spoon from her hand before she could take another bite of her regurgitated meal.

Bowls cast aside, Zack tried not to gag as all struggled to come to terms with what they’d just witnessed.
“Mine!” Alice wailed, hobbling behind Sephiroth as she chased after her meal. “B’ing it back!” (Bring it back!) She rubbed her bruise ringed eyes and cried in despair.

“Come here.” Genesis kindly approached and lifted her onto his lap as he sat back down, only when Sephiroth returned with a glass of water and helped Alice take large greedy gulps did he choose to speak. “Why did you do that? You needn’t worry.” He assured her.

Alice hid her face in his shirt and burbled something unintelligible while she chewed on her knuckles.

“This is why she should be in a hospital!” Angeal sighed disapprovingly. “Perhaps you should give her something light when her stomach’s settled?” From a poor family in a small village; Angeal considered himself the only person in the room capable of understanding hunger even though he’d never starved.

“I’m taking her to the doctor tomorrow;” Sephiroth knelt down to examine Alice’s feet; she kept spreading and clenching her toes. “I’ll ask his advice on the subject. Perhaps she should just have milk until then?”

“Would a ration bar be too heavy?” Genesis suggested.

Angeal shook his head. “I don’t know.”

“I’ll Moogle it!” The teen announced; stood he looked around. “Do you have the Web?”

“My electronic connections are off-limits to others.” It was a very professional reply that had Zack lifting his eyebrows.

“Really? A few of the guys in the barracks are like that but I didn’t think you’d be into that sort of thing…” Sephiroth frowned, confused. He remained knelt before his ‘daughter’, taking her temperature with the palm of his hand as she drifted into sleep. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that! Or is there? I don’t like it myself… is that weird?”

“What are you talking about?” He sighed with a shake of his head.

“Well… you know… your computer’s off limits… that can only mean one thing, right?” He awkwardly rubbed the back of his head.

Angeal sighed at Zack’s ignorance. “He has classified Shinra files on his computer and his internet is capable of being traced back to the company… This is not a confession of a porn addict.”

Sephiroth’s eyes widened. “Excuse me?”

Genesis nodded. “We’re still awaiting that confession.”

“Shush! Aunty Genesis.” Sephiroth growled. Genesis cool blue eyes became fiery.

Hollander’s knock at the door was well timed. Sephiroth was willing to use it as a perfect excuse to change the subject.
“Hollander.” He greeted as he opened the door. To say he wasn’t fond of scientists was an understatement, but he supposed they did have some uses.

“Sephiroth,” Hollander greeted , he was carrying a duffle bag covered with locks and codes, “Angeal didn’t specify the particular need for my house visit but told me to bring a D.N.A kit. If you’re testing your blood against Hojo’s… again… I’m sorry to tell you in advance that you really are his son.”

“I went on a mission to Junon the day before yesterday; Hojo invited me to his lab to introduce me to my daughter.”

“And you want to know if she’s yours?” Hollander didn’t seem surprised in the slightest. “Where is she?”

Genesis stood nearby. “Right here.”

Hollander smiled and moved closer, leaving his bag on the table under the window.
Alice, half awake, began whimpering as he approached.
Hollander carried that terrifying chemical smell. Sephiroth supposed he should be relieved that Hollander had abandoned his lab coat and arrived in a violet parker coat.

“Shh…” Hollander gently put his hands on either side of her face to the bruising. He continued hushing her as she panicked and struggled to turn away, weakly trying to kick him with her exhausted legs. “Do you really need a blood test to know if she’s yours?” He exclaimed, looking between Sephiroth and Alice, seeing the resemblance easily. “She’s underweight,” He noted, prodding her arms and legs, searching for veins. “That’s not good for drawing blood… not without some pain, at least.”

“That doesn’t matter, this is important for both the child and myself.”

Zack frowned. “What do you mean it doesn’t matter if he hurts her?”

“Her pain will be momentary,” Sephiroth explained “these answers are important for her present and future. If I’m not her father then I need to know what I’ll do with her.”

“Keep her!” Zack exclaimed.

The room was tense and uncomfortable; Alice had turned two shades paler and was sobbing into Genesis’ chest. “Shall we get this over with?” Genesis suggested. “All of us want to know the answer.”

“Could any one of you be the father?” Hollander asked, wondering whether he should consider adding a child of Angeal’s to Project G, the wonders of such an edition would be limitless! Though convincing Angeal may not be so easy.

All four men choked on the question. ‘No’s!’ and ‘absolutely not(s)’ filled the room. Sephiroth wondered if he should find the question insulting and Hollander found their answer a little disappointing.

It was decided that Sephiroth should have his blood drawn first to prove it didn’t hurt, although Sephiroth insisted it was pointless because they already knew Alice’s veins would be difficult to find.
As soon as he was done with Sephiroth, Hollander moved to Alice. As predicted, she was less than willing. Sephiroth supposed he should have known there would be a fear of needles.
Alice struggled as she was held on his lap, bound in place by Sephiroth’s leg crossed over her lap and his arm wrapped around her left arm and middle while using his other hand to stretch her right arm out, keeping her still as Hollander prodded.

Her starvation made it difficult, her skin was so thin that the butterfly needle tore rather than pierced until he finally managed to draw blood from Alice’s thigh.

“When will we have the results?” Sephiroth asked, unconsciously stroking Alice’s hair as she fell asleep against him.

“Right now if you’d like.” Hollander pulled a complicated looking black box from the bag. “This is a new travelling kit, don’t worry, it’s been tested and works perfectly.”

The machine was plugged into the wall and the vials were inserted. Whilst waiting the few minutes for the results, Sephiroth put the exhausted child to bed.

“She’s in poor condition.” Hollander commented as Sephiroth returned, the gentle hum of the machine in the background.

“You can thank Professor Nutjob for that!” Angeal slapped Zack over the head but Hollander laughed and appreciated his rivals’ nickname.

Sephiroth sat in his chair, noting that Zack was sat on the floor to make room for his senior. “She’d been abandoned for a long time.”

“Yeah, you should have seen her, she was gross! Her hair was brown and she was covered in sh—ow!” He was silenced with a sharp kick in his side and glared at Angeal again.

“Language! There’s a child in the apartment now.” Angeal scolded.

“A sleeping one!” Zack whinged as he rubbed his aching head.

“That’s no excuse.”

Sephiroth agreed with Zack’s previous statement. “Yes, she was filthy, her hair was so matted we didn’t even realise she was blond until her hair had been rinsed twice.”

Genesis squinted. “I thought you’d dyed it. It was almost black before.”

“Is Posie Gainsborough her mother?” Hollander questioned.

Sephiroth hesitantly nodded. “Yes, I don’t see how it’s possible. Alice is two-and-a-half according to the birth certificate Hojo gave me.”

“That is a mystery… But Hojo claims he can create artificial life, perhaps this was a new experiment of his?”

“Or perhaps she’s not mine at all.”

The machine stopped, the answer was about to become obvious as the machine printed numbers onto the small roll of paper.
Those few seconds were agonising, and as Hollander tore the paper from the machine and read the results Sephiroth was positive the results would be negative.

“There is no mistake.” Hollander spoke, reading the paper he handed it to Sephiroth.

Chapter Text

“Sephiroth, it doesn’t matter how many times I run the test the results will remain positive.” Hollander said having run the test a third time.

Sephiroth could hardly absorb the information. “I don’t understand,” he finally spoke. “How could this have happened?”

Zack snorted. “Well, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much—”

Angeal felt the burn of Sephiroth’s stare and observed his body language become stern, stiff and cold. “Zack! Leave!” He demanded.

A hurt expression flashed through Zack’s eyes. “I’m sorry!” He surrendered, holding the palms of his hands up. “Just tryn’a make light of an awkward situation.”

“If it upsets you that much; leave!” Angeal stood and opened the door. “Sephiroth will contact you tomorrow before you report to Lazard.” No matter how Zack begged Angeal wouldn’t allow him to stay, things needed to be said, things Zack was not permitted to hear.

Dejected and unhappy, Zack left the apartment like a skulking puppy with his tail between his legs and his imaginary ears fallen back.

“What do I do now?” Sephiroth wondered.

“Keep her.” The answer was obvious but felt taboo to speak it aloud, yet Hollander had said it, the word felt solid as it landed on Sephiroth’s shoulders like a boulder, another weight for him to carry.

“I can’t.”

“It might not be so bad.” Genesis mentioned. “If not you then who?”

“I had planned to leave her in Sister Maureen Cindy’s care.”

Angeal frowned. “The Nunnery.” They all knew Sister Maureen Cindy, she was a caring woman, considerate, and they’d helped her numerous times in her scrapes with Avalanche, but a Nunnery was hardly a home.

“I should be leaving.” Hollander announced and collected his machine. “Whether you decide to keep the child or not she should be moved to a hospital immediately, a nasal tube would be the best treatment for her.”

Sephiroth thanked him and ignored his recommendations.
The Scientist saw himself out, leaving the three men to their discussions.

Genesis closed his book and placed it on the table as though it were fragile crystal. “At least Posie didn’t have an affair.”

“Unless she broke in here while she was missing and raped me in my sleep she had no affair with me either!”

A crisp snap filled the room as Angeal clicked his fingers, turning heads. “The sperm samples of ninety-five!”

There were a few seconds of stunned silence as the confusing event that had seemed humorous at the time was recalled. Hojo had demanded five sperm samples from Sephiroth and Genesis, they had reluctantly given them and the event had been a running gag in their friendship ever since.

“Would he really impregnate Posie against her will?” Sephiroth asked but wouldn’t have been surprised.

“If he did at least he used your sperm and not his own.” Genesis’ statement sent shivers down everyone’s spine.

“But was it unwilling?” Angeal questioned.

“What?” Sephiroth hissed, offended.

“Think about it. Posie left supposedly due to a psychological break. We know she knew of the sperm samples and insisted that ‘life shouldn’t be frozen in a dish’. What if she demanded those samples from Hojo?”

Sephiroth’s brow furrowed. “Hojo said she’d approached him when in labour and then abandoned Alice.”

“Under the circumstances, let’s assume he’s telling the truth.” Angeal continued. “Does that sound like she was sane at the time?”
Sephiroth may not have liked the colours his wife was being painted in but he had to agree, it was the most likely answer.

“However, wouldn’t Hojo have wanted to keep her in captivity?” Genesis asked. “He was chasing Posie for years; you had to bargain with the President himself to get her a burial outside Shinra and have her cremated secretly.”

“She was as sneaky and stealth-like as an assassin,” Sephiroth credited her, “she could find her way out of a room with no doors.” He sighed, Posie was dead… their daughter was not. Looking into the past and wondering how Alice came to be wouldn’t help. “What do I do now?”

The desperation of his words and the glassy effects of his eyes moved Angeal; he instantly put on his sternest expression and lowered his voice, hunched over his own lap as he carefully thought each word.
“You are keeping her.” The decision had been made and the metaphorical boulder hovering over Sephiroth’s shoulders broke into many pieces.
“Today you and I will shop for the things Alice needs, Genesis will baby-sit and tomorrow we’ll focus on turning your office into another bedroom, with a little rearranging your office should fit in here.”

“I’ll also introduce you to my favourite bookstore.” Genesis made sure to add. “They’re sure to have a book on child maintenance, a manual or something…”

Hesitantly, Sephiroth nodded. He didn’t like change, but as a Soldier change was inescapable. “What should I buy?” He pulled the large notepad off the table and turned several pages, looking at the suggestions they’d made earlier.

“Diapers.” Angeal suggested first.

“Clothes.” Genesis brooded over their decision that he would baby-sit in their absence.

“Will she need a bottle?” Sephiroth awkwardly asked. Many times when Sephiroth had passed a young child they had an infant’s bottle or something similar in their mouth.

Angeal shrugged his shoulders. “Probably…”

They all knew one thing for sure; that they were equally clueless.

Sector 4 was Sephiroth’s main shopping territory. Their merchandise wasn’t as tacky as the Slums and not as expensive as the stores in other Sectors.
Wearing slim dark jeans, weighty ankle boots and a slim fitting lilac parka with the blue hood of his hoodie pulled over his silver hair Sephiroth was less recognisable than people might expect.

He and Angeal travelled up the escalator and stood as still as statues, daunted by the many isles surrounding them full of pink and blue propaganda. Isles for boys and girls of all ages, 2-4 Years, Infants, Premature and three isles worth of food promising to keep children healthy because the packet said so.
Simultaneously they turned their heads to face one another, each asking the other where to begin. They bravely stepped into the new territory as if they had landed on an Alien Planet full of dangers and probable life.

“Why don’t we… start with the isles furthest to the right and work our way left?” Sephiroth suggested.

“Good plan; that way we’ll finish at the cash register.” Together they entered the isles full of baby food, drinking and eating utensils and other such things, most of which neither man recognised.
For more than ten minutes they held a flexible sheet of plastic with a button at the top and a curved ridge at the bottom, struggling to decipher what it was. “Whatever it is it comes in five colours.” Angeal said as he looked at the shelf they’d removed it from.

Sephiroth bent the red plastic he was holding, when he shook it in one hand it wobbled, curving when he locked one of three buttons into the hole at what he supposed was the bottom. “What monstrosity is this?”

“I’m sure I saw something similar used in a torture interrogation once…”

“We’d better take it then.” Sephiroth dropped it in the basket they’d placed by their feet and lifted a double-handled, spouted mug off the shelf. “What’s the point of this?”

“A cup?”

“Why does it have two handles and a spout?”

The cup was carefully wrapped in plastic, ‘Baby Trainer Cup’ was written in cartoon letters. “Is that an age limit?” Angeal asked, pointing at the numbers on the side of the packaging.

“Six Months Plus…” Sephiroth read. “’Plus’, when does the plus age limit expire?” Angeal didn’t answer. “Baby Trainer Cup… what are they training them to do?” He placed the cup back on the shelf and reached for a nearby package. “This might be better, children have bottles don’t they? There are six for—” Sephiroth froze, his cheeks began to redden.

Rather than read the wording on the box for himself Angeal decided to tease his friend. “Go on.” He sadistically convinced Sephiroth to continue.

He spoke with as much stability as he could, reading only what he felt comfortable with. “It’s called Conni Tippee, zero months plus. Plus again…”

“What else does it say?”

“Read it yourself.” He thrust the box out.

“But I’m looking at this.” The rusks on the bottom shelf were very interesting; he had a brief memory from his early childhood and was tempted to buy himself a box, was that normal? “Read it, it might be useful.”

Sephiroth spoke with as much authority he could muster, taking on a tone he only used when instructing the troops. “Closer to Nature, six decorated feeding bottles, two-hundred-and-sixty millilitres by nine fluid ounces… mimics the natural feel and movement of a mothers… breast.” Angeal laughed, clutching his stomach as he savoured the moment. “I’m happy it amused you.” Sephiroth growled, putting the embarrassing box in the basket and gracefully charged into the next isle, Angeal followed him and together they faced two isles of diapers. “I don’t understand.” Sephiroth muttered. “They all do the same job, why are there so many of them?”

Angeal lifted a large puffy packet off a shelf; the company claimed the diapers delivered twenty-four-hour protection and were full of Aloe Vera. “Sephiroth, is Alice allergic to anything?”

“I don’t know. Hojo didn’t say.”

“I assume she has none then.” He drummed his fingers on the package he held and frowned at the basket Sephiroth held. “We need a bigger basket…”

They switched to a cart and continued their journey through the unknown depths of Mother Care. As they were approaching the clothing section, their journey almost over, Sephiroth found himself attacked by a blur wearing a suit. “Cissnei!” He exclaimed, both surprised and relieved. Cissnei smiled up at him, her arms still wrapped around his waist and the force of her speedy hug had knocked his hood down. Sephiroth noticed a few shoppers beginning to whisper to one another as they looked his way. “Are you sure that’s appropriate?” He lifted his hood.

Cissnei placed her hands on her hips. “You’re practically my brother!”

“That doesn’t matter.” He watched as she dug through their trolley.

“Baby bottles?”

Sephiroth felt his cheeks tingle again and tried to cover it with professionalism. “Yes, it’s what children have, isn’t it?”

She shook her head and dropped it at one end of the trolley. “A Trainer Cup would be better.” Both men raised their eye brows at this. “You’re going to need more than one pack of these!” She looked at the diapers and shook her head. “Too small, these are for premature infants.” She placed them next to the sippy cups and continued to organise the trolley, frowning when she found the rusks. “These are a bit young for Alice too.”

Angeal snatched them from her hand and protectively cradled them. “They’re not for Alice.”

“Oh? Then who?”

“… Zack.” He lied; his pride wounded.

Sephiroth laughed. “Did you know your ears turn red when you lie?”

Cissnei smiled and finished organising, the things farthest from the handle bar were to go back on their shelves and the things in the middle needed to be replaced. “Does Alice spill her food a lot?”

Sephiroth nodded.

Cissnei pulled the strange plastic contraption from the middle of the cart. “Just asking because you might need more than one of these too.”

“What is it?” Angeal questioned.

“You put it in the trolley without knowing what it is?”

Angeal shrugged. “We supposed Alice might need it as it was in the infant section.”

“Alice isn’t a baby and this is a bib, for catching dropped food.” She examined the buttons and hole punched plastic strap at the bottom, which was actually the top and when held correctly Sephiroth could see it was to attach it to the child’s neck like a plastic serviette. “It might be better if she has two of these.”

“Is it an unspoken rule that a parent must buy everything in pairs?”

“Sephiroth you’ve reached a milestone.” Angeal praised, his strong hand gripping Sephiroth’s shoulder in a friendly gesture. “Referring to yourself as a parent already!”

The diapers were replaced with small pull-ups, four pink sippy cups replaced the breast mimicking bottles (for which Sephiroth was grateful), the strange contraptions called ‘bibs’ were excluded after a great debate and once Cissnei was content with the contents of their cart she dragged Angeal and Sephiroth into the hygiene isle..

“Why are we down here?” Angeal asked. “Sephiroth has enough bathroom products to open a small store.” He ignored the glare Sephiroth shot him; attention turned as Cissnei held up a wide tube full of glittery purple goo.

“Toothpaste!”

“I have toothpaste.” Sephiroth confirmed, taking the tube and looking at it. “Dinosaur Toothpaste,” he read. “Why is it glittered?” As he squeezed the flexible bottle the silver sparkles in the goo shifted and shimmered.

“Because it’s for kids!” Cissnei snatched it back. “Mint toothpaste is too strong for children.”

Angeal smirked. “And knowing Alice she’d try to eat it.”

Sephiroth nodded. “Something must be done about that. I don’t want her confusing my pillow for a giant marshmallow.”

“These are so cute!” Cissnei squealed. “Which one? The Teddy, Tatty Teddy or the Rabbit?” Spread in her hands like a deck of cards she held three small toothbrushes with soft bristles. The first was yellow and the handle was carved, shaped like Tatty Teddy with blue patches, the next was purple but the handle was a normal brown teddy and the last was neon pink with a white rabbit at the bottom.

“Does it matter?” Angeal questioned.

“They all do the same job don’t they?”

Cissnei frowned. “She has to have a preference!”

“Why don’t you bring her tomorrow and she can choose?” Sephiroth asked.

“She needs to brush her teeth tonight Sephiroth…” She looked down at the brushes in thought. “The rabbit’s the cutest.” And she threw it into the cart. “Sponge.” She lifted a twin pack of soft sponges off the shelf and dropped it in. “Hm… Sephiroth, choose some bubbles, shampoo, conditioner and body wash for her.”

“I always have spares she can use.” Sephiroth said. “Shinra’s always gifting me with crates of hair products.” Perhaps it was their way of claiming he smelt?

“Fine!”

“Ducks?” Angeal said, bent down and staring at the bottom shelf of bath toys.

“Excuse me?” Sephiroth blinked and examined the net full of yellow ducks Angeal held up.

“Rubber ducks.” He looked along the shelf and lifted a plastic package. “Bath Crayons?”

“I’m not cleaning crayon off the bath every night.” He folded his arms.

Angeal put them in the cart anyway. “It might distract her; she panicked in the bath earlier.”

“And it encourages creativity.” Cissnei added, having lifted the box she examined the back. “We should buy her some toys.”

“She has toys.”

“Really?”

Angeal shook his head. “She has a string rabbit.”

“It’s not a string rabbit; it’s just falling apart… a little.”

Cissnei shook her head and turned to look at the isle behind them. Sephiroth stared in horror as she lifted a box off the bottom shelf, a small square box with a picture of a small hollow seat on the front.

“You recognise it.” Angeal teased.

Sephiroth’s eyes were wide, his brows pinched and his mouth a straight line. “She won’t need it put it back.” He turned his back, trying to will the situation away.

“You want her potty trained don’t you?” Cissnei lowered the box into the trolley. “It’s important!”

Angeal tugged her arm. “He’s not embarrassed Cissnei; he just doesn’t want the responsibility.” He set his firm stare on Sephiroth.

“She’s a girl, it would be inappropriate for me to...”

“Earlier it was inappropriate because you thought she wasn’t your daughter, now it’s inappropriate because she’s a girl?” Sephiroth dared to flicker his eyes at Angeal’s gaze. “She’s yours and nothing about this is inappropriate. Mothers help their sons as well as their daughters with toilet training; gender is irrelevant in child rearing.”

Sephiroth folded his arms again. “Are we done?”

Cissnei took hold of the cart and shook her head. “No, cutlery and plates next!”

Sephiroth and Angeal frowned, confused. “He already has plates and cutlery!” Angeal called after her as she rolled away.

Cissnei stopped and turned with a glare. “For kids! Follow me!”

So plastic plates, bowls, easy wash placemats and thick handled cutlery were added to the growing collection of Sephiroth’s first exposure to parental shopping. “You think it’s bad now wait ‘til you go shopping with Alice!” Cissnei had told him when he’d complained.

They weaved around every isle, grabbed a car seat, high chair and even a chair with wheels called a stroller. A child’s harness with reigns was added so Sephiroth could walk his child on a string, outlet covers and cupboard latches were added and toys would wait until Alice could join them and choose what she liked herself.
The last isle near the café and cash register was the worst, why had they left it for last? Sephiroth couldn’t help but wonder and wallow in his oblivion as Cissnei hurried about like a squirrel on steroids grabbing everything ‘cute’ and ‘to die for!’

It was the dreaded clothing isle…

“What do you guys think of this? Isn’t it adorable!?”

Sephiroth stared at the frilly pink thing Cissnei was holding up, covered in roses and ribbons. “If you say so.”

“Why is everything pink?” Angeal asked.

“Don’t ask me…” Sephiroth whispered as he removed a neon pink top and swapped it for a green one, repeating this transaction only when Cissnei’s back was turned until the basket only had four pink garments left.

“Look at these!” Their heads turned to Cissnei’s cooing voice; they gawped as if they had wandered into a bloody crime scene. The cause for this was the ghastly trousers Cissnei was holding, a rainbow pattern covered with multicoloured Chocobo’s with grossly exaggerated cartoon faces. The rainbow background was covered with pink clouds and glitter raindrops reflecting on the two men as it was struck by the light.

Sephiroth’s mouth twitched open and closed as he wondered what to say, rendered speechless and almost too scared to give an honest opinion. The honest opinion would result in Cissnei unhappily storming around, probably giving him a lecture on the differences between boys and girl and insist on buying the evil garment, OR he could lie and say he approved of them and have to buy it anyway. ‘A lose-lose situation.’ He thought as he continued to silently stutter.

“What the hell is that?” Angeal finally broke the stunned silence.

“Don’t you like it?”

“Cissnei, it looks like a unicorn regurgitated it.” Sephiroth courageously said.

Cissnei scowled and put her hands on her hips. “Glitter vomit sounds beautiful enough to wear!”

Sephiroth took the garment from her hands and dropped it on the disarrayed shelf. “I’ll remind you of that when you next drag a drunken Reno from a strip club.”

“Rude does that now; I think it’s just an excuse for him to join in… And we’re getting off topic! Alice needs this!” She lifted the trousers back off the shelf and shook them for emphasis.

Angeal looked confused and stared down at the trolley. “You’ve already picked two pairs of trousers and three pairs of jeans…”

“She doesn’t need that much, two pairs of trousers and one pair of jeans will do.” Sephiroth folded his arms stubbornly.

“No!” Cissnei dropped the trousers in the basket as Sephiroth had predicted. “These trousers are ‘My Little Chocobo’ it’s a necessity!”

Sephiroth’s eye twitched. ‘Alice had better appreciate this.’

Chapter Text

“Is she really sleeping?” Genesis wondered aloud as Alice was laid on the sofa. “That’s all she’s done all day.” He worried as he curiously watched her unconsciously hug the tatty bunny tighter.

Sephiroth sat in his chair. “Perhaps it’s because she’s eaten more than she must have in a while, perhaps it tired her?”

“Maybe…” Angeal muttered. “And her journey must’ve been exhausting… I still think a hospital—”

“She has an appointment with a doctor tomorrow.” Sephiroth quickly interrupted with a glare. “If something was wrong I’d know by now.”
Perhaps he spoke too soon?

Alice slept through the day and by the time Sephiroth’s friends had left Alice’s sleep became a fitful one, she would awaken for a few seconds, shaky as her eyes would roll into the back of her head and she’d fall asleep again. It worried Sephiroth a little, but who was he to know the sleep patterns of children? That was what he told himself but in his heart and the back of his mind he knew this was abnormal, a worrisome sleep habit she hadn’t expressed on her journey home with him, but he remained stubborn and each time he considered approaching a hospital he silently convinced himself otherwise.

Half of his bed had been empty for years, and it saddened him every time he laid down to sleep, knowing he would lay there alone.
Since he was a child he’d hated sleeping alone, even as a grown man he liked to snuggle, or else have someone snuggle next to him. Yes, sleeping alone was depressing, when Posie had left he hadn’t been able to bear sleeping the bed without her, but after two years he’d exhausted himself searching for her and collapsed during a training session. He was embarrassed every time he remembered how Genesis had taken him home and put him to bed; he’d cried himself to sleep like an infant, his tears soaked the pillow through.

Such memories deserved to stay elsewhere, Sephiroth told himself, tucked Alice in Posie’s empty side of the bed then distracted himself in the kitchen.
He switched the radio on its comedy channel and cooked for hours, a comforting meal of mac-&-cheese with butternut squash, walnuts and caramelized onion. He cleaned his entire kitchen thoroughly, distracting himself until the evening when he re-heated his cooking and awoke Alice.

He observed her trembling and the whimpers she let out in her sleep as he shook her awake. “Come and eat.” He told her as she sat up, unable to get her bearings she sobbed gently. “You’ll sleep better when you eat.” He was sure of that as he carried her into the living room and sat her at the table.
He watched her struggle to eat her small portion, which went unfinished, then watched her sleep with her face half-buried in cheese sauce.

“See?” He smugly said when the clock approached midnight and he climbed into his bed, Alice on the other side, her face washed of all cheesy pickings. “Nothing to worry about.” He lied to himself.

His room was soundproof for a reason. He refused to sleep among his men during missions, preferring to remain awake and collapse when he returned home. No matter how many times he told himself ‘only my wife was entitled to watch me sleep’ the truth was slightly different; only his wife understood how to react to his night terrors appropriately.
He mused over his title many times, ‘Sephiroth the Hero’, but ‘the Hero’ had been a boy once, a boy at war, and that had created a man with post-traumatic nightmares.
His memories of Wutai’s death camps frequently re-emerged in his sleep, they were the things nightmares are made of, second only to Hojo’s Laboratory’s.
There, Sephiroth and Posie had been sent to ‘get understand discipline’, to work in complete compliance, to torture, torment and murder… and had refused.

The clothing from the deceased prisoners of War where left in piles outside the gas chamber, where the families of the captured Wutai Soldiers striped before dying, lost but not forgotten, Sephiroth remembered the pile of green kimonos touching the ceiling, every kimono had been worn by a real living person, he would not forget that.

“Pick one” Hojo, not as bent and wrinkled as he would be in the future, pushed Posie forth as she tearfully watched the prisoners add their black shoes to the pile of slippers.
She shook her head, her lips red with trapped sobs, the tears in her eyes rising and threatening to fall, knowing that the person she ‘chose’ would be the unluckiest – butchered by a mad scientist.
“I said PICK ONE!” Her limbs were stiff and again she shook her head.

Sephiroth quietly watched, purposefully scuffing the toes of his boots on the concrete ground, his broken arm in a sling since he’d refused the same order the day before and been shaken back and forth by the General.

“General!” He flinched as Hojo called.
The General stepped forth, his eyes forever filled with malice, he towered over them like a big, broad monster.
Posie stood stiffly, trembling as the General crouched before her.

“Submit.” It was a single word that instilled fear. Posie’s eyes closed, and she chewed her knuckles… just as Alice would… Again, she didn’t reply and the General had no patience. “OUTSIDE!” He pulled her by her blond plait and flung her out, returning shortly after to point at Sephiroth. “Pick one.”

The doors to the chamber were ready to close upon the weeping people made up of mothers, grandmothers and children. Sephiroth often wondered which was crueller, to die within minutes, the oxygen within your lungs turned to poison, or to be butchered over a period of weeks, perhaps even months… or years… as he had been.

Clutching his broken arm he too refused to answer. “OUT!”
Sephiroth cried out as he was pulled outside by his broken arm and flung forth. “Give me that!” The sling was pulled from him as he hit the floor. “Grab a shovel!” He scrambled towards the pile of shovels and dragged it across the ground, wondering where he should go until he was tossed and kicked across the snowy ground towards the roadside where the trucks he called ‘the people cars’ were transported. There, a trench was dug. He was kicked into it, helped up by Posie who was already covered in mud. She screamed as a cane slammed onto her back, repeatedly hitting her she struggled to stand.

“DIG!” The Soldier in the trench with them and the half-starved prisoners, hollered, hitting her again. “DIG!” She picked up her discarded shovel and sobbed as she dug through hardened patches of brown ice.
“DIG!” The cane then slammed down on him, he lifted his arms to defend himself, screaming when his fractured arm was struck, over and over until he managed to grab his shovel and attempted to dig with his right hand only until the cane slapped his knees and he collapsed. “PROPERLY!” Forced to use his broken arm as he shallowly shovelled he wailed, the bone pushed against the skin like bowing bamboo trying to break free of flesh.

He was relieved when they were all ushered out of the pit.
But his relief didn’t last long.

‘The People Cars’ arrived; they were cattle trucks… full of children ‘evacuated’ from Wutai’s Orphanages, their parents slaughtered months ago.

Surrounding the trench, the prisoners were pushed aside, replaced with Soldiers carrying poles, he and Posie were also handed poles as the trench was doused with gasoline, the doors to the trucks were opened and the children tipped in. The ones strong enough to climb out were harshly pushed back in with the poles… and then someone threw a lighter in.
Posie’s endless scream was unheard by the shrieks of burning children.
Sephiroth had wailed… what do you expect of a six year old?

Sephiroth gasped awake, his eye, wild and frantic, flew open and he sat up, ready to summon his sword a gentle breathing stopped him.
Alice was peacefully sleeping beside him, snuggled into his side.
His own breaths began to steady, he wiped the trickles of sweat from his forehead and slowly began to relax.
“No rest for the wicked…” He mumbled to himself. Afraid to lay back down should he dream again and – at the very least- terrify the child sleeping beside him.

Every night, when his night terrors struck, Posie had been something of a living teddy bear to him. Whenever he awoke, wide-eyed and violent with fear, her hand would clutch his until his muscles stopped straining.
He sighed and closed his eyes, perhaps he should sleep on the sofa?

‘How’s our little cheesy-face doing?’

He slowly opened his eyes, this time knowing he was asleep and dreaming.
Posie laid on her side next to him, Alice slept between them, snuggling into his chest. “I said eating would better her health.” He bragged.

‘I don’t think she’s well, Seph’.’

Sephiroth furrowed his brow and sighed. “Let me sleep, Posie.”

‘…Don’t you want to spend some time together as a family?’ He frowned. ‘A child between us to fawn over in the middle of the night, wasn’t that something you wanted? You told Genesis it wasn’t something we spoke about… why’d you lie?’

“Because it was none of his business!” He hissed. “Our dreams, our plans disappeared!” He sighed again and rolled onto his back. “The memory of them is sacred to me now. They’re mine, they’re not for sharing.”

Posie’s face saddened and after a few quiet moments she sat up. ‘You still wanna go to that bar for a martini?’ Sephiroth didn’t answer. ‘I’ll call Angeal to baby-sit, he’ll understand. Get up and get ready!’ She leapt out of bed.

Sephiroth growled, the dream was exhausting!
“Posie!” In the blink of an eye the bedroom disappeared and he was stood at the counter in a martini bar.

“One espresso martini and a chocolate and hazelnut, sir.” The bartender gave him the mouth-watering drinks.

‘It’s only a dream.’ Sephiroth told himself to rid his mind of confusion as he took the drinks and began looking for his wife.
He saw her at the short round table in an isolated corner by the window, seated in one of the comfortable soft-seated-chairs against the black night sky.
He smiled and sat opposite her, certain this was a dream he could enjoy.

‘I love you in that shirt,’ she told him as he sat. Expecting himself to be barefoot in his pyjamas he was surprised to see his reflection in the window wearing his grey t-shirt, the one with the short V-neck, dark loose jeans and his grey slip-ons. ‘You know how good you look in it; I could sense your swagger from all the way over here!’

Sephiroth took the espresso martini, happy not to awaken when he took his first sip.
“I’m happy with how authentic this dream is.” And it wasn’t only because of the drink. Posie was wearing her cream wrap-around top, it had long sleeves and thumb holes, the tight dark jeans he admired her in and her hideous black army boots she always wore, never brave enough to walk in anything else, let-alone heels. ‘It’s like walking up a diagonal tight-rope in the dark!’ He remembered her saying.
“You look beautiful…”

Posie smiled in response, lowering her creamy drink to rest in her hands. ‘Do you think Alice is okay?’

“I’m sure she’s fine; it’s Angeal we should be worried about, he’s probably run off his feet taking care of her, Zack too no doubt, he seems to have attached himself to Angeal’s hip.” He smiled, willing to play along. Dreams like this were unusual, but in such dreams he was free! Free to imagine life as he wished it to be. A healthy child running Angeal mad whilst he drank with his wife in a setting they’d never afford.

Posie placed her drink on the table and rubbed the side of her face, tickled by her feathery hair. ‘I still think we should’ve taken her to the hospital, just to check her over at least!’

Sephiroth sighed and took a deeper sip, the thought in his mind spilling into his dream. “I’m taking her to a doctor tomorrow, you know that.”

‘Can she wait until tomorrow? She’s been through so much Sephiroth!’

“I’m not answering you again.”

Posie leant forwards, her head in her hands. ‘Seems a bit selfish to deny a baby medical treatment just because you’re scared of hospitals…’

“Alice is not an infant and I am NOT afraid of hospitals!”

‘Sephiroth, I know you’re scared of hospitals, Hojo knows you’re scared of hospitals, Genesis knows you’re scared of hospitals, the creepy rich homeless guy knows you’re scared of hospitals!’

“And don’t you think Alice is scared of them too?”

Posie reached across to lay her hand on his. ‘You can be scared together.’ He was about to reply but the music changed from electronic rock to a child’s cries as everything began to fade away. ‘You’d better finish that,’ she motioned to his drink, which he quickly downed. ‘You’re gonna be in for a long night!’

Sephiroth’s eyes flew open and he sat up, turning to witness the source of the noise that had awoken him.
Alice was laid on her front, shrieking as she trembled and sweated.
Sephiroth put a hand to her pasty forehead and then pulled back, wide-eyed when he felt the instant heat. Alice’s face may have been pale but her cheeks were blistered with fever. Sephiroth’s face also became sweaty and his hands clammy… he knew what he had to do.

Chapter Text

Sephiroth found that his fear of hospitals was bearable when focused on another, when he knew he wasn’t going to be poked or prodded and tried to convince himself that the medical staff were there to help not to maim.
Why did this have to happen on a Friday night? He angrily wondered, sat in the crowded waiting room. So far a woman had been wheeled in, high with a stiletto lodged in her temple, a man had spewed something nasty everywhere and another had crouched on the floor to defecate because he was convinced he was camping with ‘Big Bird’. Despite all this, it was Sephiroth the patients and staff stared at bewilderedly, perhaps it was because they recognised him and were surprised to see him barefoot in grey joggers and a black tank top… maybe they were staring at the emaciated child howling on his lap, writhing as if she was possessed as he struggled to keep hold of her while she arched her back and slid off his lap. Every time a nurse or a doctor approached; another drunk entered and in the chaos Sephiroth was sure Alice must have appeared as if she was having nothing more than a tantrum as she kicked her legs and pushed herself away from him.
“Stay still!” He demanded, pulling her back onto his lap as she wailed.
Everything seemed to occur in slow motion, his brain not fast enough to register with his senses as Alice’s eyes rolled and her arches quickened into trembling convulsions.

“This way Sir!” A doctor ushered him behind a dark blue curtain, though he didn’t recall moving, the sterile scent permeating his senses while concern and familial terror endorsed his brain; accompanied with vicious memories as the Doctor and her team bombarded him with every question he was unsure of, worrying him further and unintentionally reminding him of years he’d rather forget.
Terrified to look at the medical officials, expecting their faces to morph into that of Hojo’s and his henchmen, Sephiroth stared at his child, convulsing on a hospital bed, her sides padded with pillows and her neck supported as her head slammed back and forth. This, he considered less frightening than the medical staff… and that scared him.

“Has she had seizures before?”

“I don’t know.”

“Does she have epilepsy?”

“I don’t know.”

“How old is she?”

“Two.”

“Why is she so underweight?”

“I’ve just received custody of her.”

“How did she get these bruises? Is she allergic to anything? When did these symptoms first appear? Has she ever seen a doctor? Does the child’s mother know she’s here? Singing might calm her down; does she have a favourite song? How long have her feet been like this?”

“I’m… unsure, more than three days?” It sounded terrible to his own ears, that he knew nothing other than her name, birthday and parentage.
The world rushed passed but Sephiroth seemed to be in his own little time bubble; a protection from the familial environment.
Doctors rushed through, tests were carried out, results returned and Sephiroth returned to himself an hour later, having been abandoned in a private room as Alice was carted into surgery… and he was unsure why.
He sat, wringing his hands trying to understand what could have happened that required her to have surgery, perhaps broken bones from the convulsions? An old experiment of Hojo’s gone wrong? Or maybe a muscle deteriorating virus of some sort? Could it be that there was nothing wrong with her at all and Hojo had wormed his personal plans into the Doctor’s mind?
He jumped to his feet at the thought and immediately struggled to calm his imagination. The Doctor had called the surgeon to him and hastily explained what was about to happen, he’d nodded but not understood what was said, the words were just noise and his mind echoed with Hojo’s laughter. His chest grew tight, his eyes from stern to fearful and he hurried into the hall, finding a payphone and some gil atop it he called Angeal, frowning at his trembling fingers punching the numbers, a number he was forced to redial three times because his hands shook so terribly. He didn’t even allow Angeal to verbally answer the call as he began, knowing he must have sounded mad.
“Angeal I’m at the hospital, I don’t understand why, something’s happened and I’m not sure what Hojo— the Doct— Surgeon said, the reason they gave when they took Alice—”

“Someone’s taken Alice?”

“Yes, no, I’m not sure.”

A ghostly hand laid itself on his back. ‘Seph’, breathe,’ Posie’s memory gently told him, ‘everything will be alright, ask for his help, you know he’ll come.’

Sephiroth hung his head and laid his shuddering fist on the wall. “Help me… please…”

“I’m coming.” Angeal hung up but Sephiroth didn’t, standing with the phone to his ear until Angeal found him.
“You need sugar.” He said, noting his friend’s jittery movements.

His mouth was dry, as were his eyes. He allowed Angeal to guide him back into the waiting room he’d hurried from and noticed the drinks machine for the first time as Angeal punched in the code for the blackest, sweetest coffee. “What’s happened?” Sephiroth took the paper cup, not caring that it burnt his hands.

“I don’t know…” He shook his head. “I was dreaming and then Alice screamed so we came here. Her eyes rolled, she seized and...” He sighed. “They asked me so many questions; I didn’t know how answer them…”

“You said something about a Surgeon, she’s in surgery?” Sephiroth nodded. “Why?”

“I couldn’t understand what was being said. It was like listening to a crowd through water.”

“Didn’t you have to sign something? Anything!”

“Yes but I don’t know what it was and she was already half-way down the hall.”

“Sephiroth…” Angeal grumbled, shaming Sephiroth further. He took a deep breath and laid his hand on his shoulder, a notion that there was no ill-feeling between them. “Deep breaths and drink.” He left the room and grabbed a passing junior doctor, startling him. “Do you know who’s medically supervising Alice Gainsborough? She’s in surgery but her father’s unsure why, I think he’s in shock.”

“I’ll find out.”

“Thanks.” Angeal returned to the waiting room and retook his seat besides Sephiroth.

“…I’m not… suited for this.” Sephiroth said after a long tense silence.

“I hear no one is.”

“I’ve led men into battle with fewer issues than this…” He worriedly looked at Angeal, his eyes panicked. “I’ll get that child killed.”

The door opened and they stood as the doctor walked in. “Hello Mr Gainsborough; I was told you have some questions?”

Angeal nodded. “Do you know why Alice is in surgery?” Her brows lifted. “Her father here’s not making much sense.”

“We found several deep lacerations on Alice’s feet, festered with abscesses and infections! One of the abscesses has burst and is probably causing her fever which may be causing her fitting. Of course the starvation and other wounds aren’t aiding her health.”

“And the surgery’s to remove the abscesses?” Angeal confirmed.

She looked from Angeal to Sephiroth then back to Angeal, shocked at their ignorance. “The surgery is to try and save her feet from amputation!” Their faces paled. “It all depends on whether the abscesses infected the nerves and whether the lacerations affected her circulation. Now I really must go.” She opened the door. “I’ll keep you informed.”

Surprisingly, Sephiroth was the first to speak. “I should have listened to Posie and brought her strait here.”

“Posie?”
Sephiroth bit his tongue.
“She still appears to you?”

“This isn’t about Posie!”

Angeal frowned. “This isn’t about you feeling guilty either! This is the time to focus on your child and consider each probable outcome. When she’s wheeled out of that room what are you going to do? When she’s able to return home, in-tact or not, what are you going to do then?”
Sephiroth frowned at his feet, unsure what to think.
“Battle tactics aren’t only for the field Sephiroth!”

“…I don’t think life is a fight I can win.”

“The fight isn’t about winning or losing but to survive.”

Surviving wasn’t one of Sephiroth’s strong points; that he knew as he stood by the window, watching Midgar’s black sky and the lights upon the roads. “Survival, huh?”

He and Posie had refused a direct order, and for such insubordination there must be punishment. Burning children alive had not been enough, especially as the order, to choose which prisoner to maim, was repeatedly ignored the following day.

“Do you know what insubordination means?” The General crouched before them both, they were broken and bruised, teary with fear. Posie chewed her knuckles while Sephiroth scuffed his shoes and nursed his arm. He frowned. “DO YOU KNOW WHAT INSUBORDINATION MEANS?” They leapt as he hollered and shook their heads.

“N-no.” Sephiroth hiccupped.

“Mm-mm.” Posie shook her head.

“It means you’re being disobedient to authority, and in Shinra that means I can punish you any way I want. Do you understand?”

“Yes.” They replied.

“Will you submit?”
Slowly, they looked to each other, no words needed to be spoken. Posie began first, Sephiroth followed, as they untied the traps over their shoulders and removed their stomach guards with the Shinra logo printed upon them and laid them at the furious Generals feet.
As his face contorted into fury they held each other’s hands.
“If you survive, you’ll never disobey again.” He growled, spitting his words between his teeth, his wide eyes bulbous with anger.

“Never disobey again…” Sephiroth repeated.

He and Angeal stood until the early morning, at the grey winter sky until the shadow of the sun finished rising, its dim rays outlining Midgar’s polluted world and the steam rising from the ground. Their attention only thwarted when the surgeon, Dr. Clemens, arrived. “The surgery was a success.” He announced, turning to face Sephiroth who breathed a sigh of relief. “But one more hour, Mr. Gainsborough, just one more hour, and we would have had to amputate the fronts of her feet.”

“Thank you for your hard work.”

“Before I can explain her situation to you I must know how this happened to her. The hospital has strict rules; we can’t ignore injuries like these without an investigation.”

Sephiroth fell onto the sofa and leant back; exhausted with a relief he was surprised to experience. “I assume Child Services will be making an appearance?” He rubbed his brow.

“They’re in the hospital now. I thought you’d like to tell me the story first.” He sat down. “Because if you’re unable to care for her… if this happened because—”

“He’s not a neglectful parent.” Angeal interrupted. “This wasn’t done by him.”

Sephiroth sighed. “I gained custody of her only three days ago; she was sickly when her previous… carer… handed her to me.” He sighed. “We’ve reason to believe her mother was… mentally ill.” It hurt to speak it aloud “And these injuries result from her dangerous decisions.”

“And where is her mother?”

“She was murdered in the Slums two weeks ago.”

He nodded. “I can vouch that all these injuries are older than that. You’ll have to relate this to Child Services then we’ll discuss what happens next.”

Child Services entered the room as soon as Dr Samuels left, they were thorough, demanding deep explanations while he was so exhausted, but both he and Angeal admired their demand for detail as much as they admired their technique. They promised him a home visit and a hasty report, considering his position in the Shinra Company, but hinted that they didn’t deem him a threat. The Doctor returned when they left and began discussing the treatment Sephiroth was anxious to hear.

“She’s stable, assuming her circulation doesn’t fail she’ll need no further surgery, of course, she’ll need to gain weight so she can heal.” Dr. Samuels said. “We’ll keep her on a nasal tube for now then we’ll see how she manages a liquid diet.”

“I’d rather take her home.” Angeal scowled when Sephiroth spoke.

“Not possible, I’m afraid.” He paused. “Mr Gainsborough, do you fully understand the extent of your daughter’s injuries? It’s deeper than bruising and cuts. She hasn’t the strength to heal herself and if those abscesses re-form we will have to take immediate action, there can be no journey to the hospital from home, however short. There just won’t be time for it. If all goes well, in time, Alice will need extensive physiotherapy to regain control of her legs and rebuild muscle.” He took a breath. “You’re the new father of a two-year-old, that’s not an easy task, so view this as a time of healing and a chance to get your home in order.”

Sephiroth finally nodded. “When can she leave?”

“That depends on how fast she heals.” The beeper attached to his hip buzzed and he looked down at its screen. “She’s awake. Do you want to see her?”
Sephiroth didn’t hesitate.

Alice was laid in bed, chewing on her trembling fist. Stood behind the window offering him a view of the room, Sephiroth stared. He understood her fear of waking and awaiting the start of torture. ‘You see, she’s more like you than you think.’

Sephiroth turned to glare at Posie, stood next to him. “I’m in enough trouble as it is without being deemed insane, leave!” And when he blinked she was gone, all that remained in his mind was the memory of her hurt face; he scoffed and bravely entered the room.
Alice pulled the cover over her head as though it were a fortress, making Sephiroth smile a little as he sat down. Alice was in a highly secure hospital with armed officers, security cameras and help instantly available at the push of a button, but she believed a wafer thin blanket would save her when pulled over her face.
“Good morning.” He greeted, smiling when she dropped the blanket and looked genuinely surprised to see him. He frowned at her hollow dark eyes and ghastly skin. “Are you tired? Then sleep. Angeal’s gone to get your rabbit, he’ll be back soon.” Alice said nothing, her eyes drooped shut and she slept, her hand clutching his fingers.
Sephiroth sighed, leant back in the chair and gently smiled. Each beep of the heart monitor eased him further into sleep, it was the beating heart of his daughter and he’d never heard a nicer sound.

Chapter Text

“Things have to change.” Sephiroth rightly stated as he emptied his office, making room for Alice’s intrusion. “But are you sure neon pink is necessary?”

Cissnei, sat on the sofa, glared up from the colour sheet of bright pinks. “Of course! She’s a little girl coming home from hospital; she deserves a princess’s bedroom!”

“And Princesses like neon pink?”

She pouted. “And what colour would you choose?”

“Isn’t the blue suitable?”

“No! It’s a bit hospital-y isn’t it?”

Sephiroth shrugged and continued moving boxes. “She’s the child of Soldier’s, not a King, I’ll settle for the purple.”

Cissnei looked down at the colour they’d outlined earlier. “Pale lilac? With polka-dot wallpaper!” She gasped.

Sephiroth laid the last of the heavy boxes down. “Fine,” he paused, “if I choose the paint and paper you can choose her toys.”

Cissnei raised an eyebrow and sank back into the sofa. “You think I can be bought so easily?”

“And her bed.” He bargained. Cissnei squealed and leapt up. “I have a budget on the table.”

The ‘budget’ was a cheap, tin safe. Once overflowing the notes and coins had dwindled into a puddle Cissnei frowned at. “This is it?”
Sephiroth folded his arms as she emptied the pittance.
“But I had such great plans!”

“Then spend your own money.”

“You know I don’t get paid until my Turk-ship’s official!”

It was an orphan’s lot Sephiroth knew of all too well. How did Shinra keep its workers so desperate to rely on the Company? Money or rather the lack of.
Free lunches, apartments and company clothing… all free because until, as Cissnei had stated, your assessments and training were complete nothing was to be earned other than a reputation, and, as working outside the company was prohibited, that left a person enslaved and reliant on a power-hungry, hated system.
What of those who didn’t make the grade? The Honey Bee Inn was full of the failures outcast by Shinra, and Sephiroth shuddered to think of what may happen to Cissnei should she fail her final training sessions.

Cissnei emptied the tin. “I’ll buy toys and ornaments and cute toys and the cutest bed covers—!”

“No.” Sephiroth interrupted.

Cissnei gawped at him. “Excuse me?”

“I said no. She’s a small child who lived in a box until recently; she’ll be satisfied with a bed to sleep in.” Out the corner of his eye he observed Posie leant against the wall, her arms folded as she shook her head.

“But I’ve never bought anything like this before!”

“And you still won’t have.”

“Sephiroth.” Posie plainly reprimanded.

“I never got to buy toys or have a room of my own to paint or cute toys or cute clothes! I had a Shinra uniform, a gun and a bedsit I’m not allowed to change!”

“Come on, let her do it!” Posie prompted as he scolded his mind. ‘We know what that’s like.’

“I know.” He grumbled.

“So you’ll let me do it?”

Posie grinned. “Don’t you want Alice to be happy?”

“Yes.”

“YES!” Cissnei leapt up, grabbed the budget and hurried out the door. “You won’t regret this!”

Sephiroth remained bewildered as she slammed the door. “Did I speak to you out loud?”

Posie grinned and was gone in the blink of an eye.

Cissnei had never stuck to a budget in her life! And it was obvious by the end of the day.

Knowing your child was in hospital was exhausting; no matter how long you’d known of that child’s existence.

Sephiroth worked during the days and visited Alice in the evenings but was quick to leave. He panicked in medical facilities, his dental records revealed he insisted on being knocked out when having his teeth checked and the room abandoned when he awoke in a violent rage… but hospitals were worse!
Visiting Alice he’d broken out in hives, sweated through two shirts and a dark green hoodie, rung his trembling hands and eventually fallen asleep with his head on the bed.

He’d terrified a nurse when he was awoken, visiting hours having ended; he’d leapt up and punched the nurse as hard as he could! Perhaps he’d not been banned because he was so apologetic? Or maybe because Alice screamed every time a member of staff approached.

The moment he returned home he’d scrubbed the bleach scent off himself and gone to bed only to be awoken at midnight by a crash in the next room.

It would not be the first time someone had broken into the apartment, ‘I really must sort that out.’ He thought as he summoned his sword, it glowed with Lifestream residue and hummed a gentle song with every sharp movement, like crystal.

His sitting room was piled high with documents, furniture and books, the light in his old office was on; the room that was to be Alice’s room, and there was a rustling sound inside. He neatened his hair, removed his bed shirt; just to seem a little more terrifying, and swung the door open. “DON’T IMPALE ME!” The intruder screeched.

Sephiroth frowned, his eyes adjusting to the light as he noticed Cissnei, surrounded by bags, her gun drawn. “What are you doing?” He yelled.

Cissnei looked down at the carrier bags surrounding her, bags filled with toys and bedding. “I went shopping.”

“You couldn’t wait until tomorrow?”

“No! My Turk initiation day is tomorrow, I have a week’s training course and everything!”

Sephiroth sighed, his sword vanished into evaporated blue mist and he leant against the wall, his mood remaining sour. “You want to be a Turk,” he arrogantly huffed, “you’re supposed to be intelligence agents of Shinra, yet you loudly broke into my apartment, switched on the light and by the looks of it tripped over your shopping in the loudest carrier devise ever invested in!”

“THAT’S WHY I NEED THE TRAINING DAY!” She bent down and continued emptying the bags. “That’s why I bought all this stuff, you; stupid SOLDIER, would probably buy her a sword and camouflage hat or something!”

‘I wonder if she reads minds?’ Sephiroth thought to himself, happy he’d hidden the child’s play warrior package in his wardrobe.
“What did you buy?” He forced himself to ask, sounding more bored than interested but it made Cissnei smile all the same.

From the bags Cissnei pulled a never ending array of, what Sephiroth could only describe as, junk!

“She doesn’t need all this!”

Cissnei frowned and hushed him. “Of course she does!” She stood up and looked at the items littering the ground. “We should get to work now.”

“It’s one A.M.”

“You bought the paper and paint today, right? I know you did because I followed you home from the hospital! See! I can do Turk stuff!”

“How much coffee have you had to drink?” He wondered, noticing her hyperactive, out of character demeanour.

“Three espressos!”

Defeated Sephiroth walked into the living room. “Don’t put anything together until the paper’s up.”

Cissnei cheered. “Oh! And keep an ear out! The bed could be arriving anywhere between seven A.M and eight P.M!”

They worked until Sephiroth’s alarm sounded at six A.M, he washed, dressed, and the bed arrived an hour later, already assembled, fortunately.
By the time he and Cissnei left the apartment for work, he was exhausted but proud of the work they’d done.

The walls were painted lilac, the feature wall was coffee coloured paper with wide spaced white polka dots, there, the two white shelves had been hung and the heart and moon plushie sat on either side of Alice’s name written in blocks.
Toys lined the second shelf, a row of pink flags hung from there above the chest of draws, white with pink box draws, a small chest of draws sat atop it alongside unicorn and chocobo plushies and a stack of blue letters spelling ‘love’ with the round, pink, circle mat placed before it next to the pink-framed bed jutting from the feature wall, it was dressed in starry bedcovers the same coffee shade as the wall.
Pink cushions were placed against the pillow with anime faced cloud plushies. A picture of a sleeping rain cloud was placed within a white frame hung above the bed, ‘Dream big little one’, was written beneath the cloud in great, glittery, dripping letters.
And finally, a small round table with a tea set, and two small pink chairs were placed on the mat.

Sephiroth knew more would fill the room in the future, he was saving to buy her a toy box which Cissnei had insisted must be pink, white or purple to ‘match’ the room, he didn’t understand the point of it but hoped Alice would be as happy as Cissnei and was actually excited to see her face when she saw it.
…Though he dreaded going to Headquarters with lilac paint in his hair…

“Finally Sephiroth!” Lazard impatiently called. “I was ready to send Heideggar after you and drag you here!” Sephiroth approached. “At least tell me you have your report.”

Sephiroth placed it on the desk. “I have a daughter.” It was best to say it outright, if only to observe Lazard’s shocked face. “Hojo's insane." He continued. "He wants me to train a female toddler, beaten half-to-death, to join Soldier."

"…Who is the child?" He spluttered.

"Alice. Daughter of Posie... and me." Sephiroth sighed.

"Posie…?" Lazard sounded surprised. "That explains why he wanted you to see if she was... worthy… of joining SOLDIER. When was she born?"

"Two years ago." He let out a laugh. “My understanding is that the child is the result of a sperm sample!”

"Where is she?"

"In hospital, she’s coming home tomorrow."

Lazard sighed. "You're forgetting Shinra’s rule: NO children are entitled to reside within Shinra accommodation without special permission. When the president finds out, and he will, he will be furious. A member of Soldier was in the same situation years ago. He had the choice, give the child up or leave Shinra and be liable for death, no one escapes the company, you know that."

"…Hojo probably secured things with the President long before I knew of it."

“I’ll sort something out.” Lazard leant back in his chair. "I'd like to meet this girl."

"When? Why?" He warily raised an eyebrow.

"As soon as possible. I'd like to meet the Hero’s daughter."

Sephiroth sighed. "Visiting hours are between fourteen and sixteen-hundred-hours, I’m headed there after work.” He paused. “Everything has been written in my report.”

“You’ll be going nowhere tonight, Sephiroth.” Lazard began. “You and Genesis are to tackle a Dragon in the surrounding Plains.”

Sephiroth sighed. “Aren’t I entitled to compassionate leave?”

“There’s no compassion for the living, Sephiroth.”

Chapter Text

We all experience that moment in life when something so obvious, so well known, leaps out of the blue and hits us, shocking us with its undeniable presence. Beneath Costa Del Sol’s mild winter temperature, on the ship home, Sephiroth experienced just that, and was so shocked he spoke the obvious aloud.
“I have a surviving blood relative.”

“You always had one.” Genesis replied, sat across from him upon the twin sofas within the great grey, slab-like ship’s lobby. They had been sat in silence, staring out at the grey horizon as the sleet fell and winter approached.

“I do not.” He sharply insisted.

“Very well,” Genesis stretched, “you have a surviving relative you like.”

“…Better.”

All was silent for a while longer; known for their mutual strong-headedness it was wise for the two men to remain quiet when a peace-maker was not present.

“When the war of the beasts brings about the world's end
The goddess descends from the sky
Wings of light and dark spread afar
She guides us to bliss, her gift everlasting.”

Genesis finished. “So, will you be taking your vacation this year?”

“Hm, considering my current wage and cost-of-living I doubt I’ll be able to afford a vacation for the next eighteen years or so.”

Genesis smirked. “So not until Alice has grown and fled?”

“Exactly.” He sighed. “You should see what Cissnei’s done to my office; it’s a… pink massacre… with polka dots.”

He laughed. “It will certainly be a change from hospital blue I suppose she’s become accustomed to.” He lifted the coffee mug to his lips. “What colour was the room did Hojo kept her locked up in again?”

“Imagine the interior of a janitor’s closet only the door is high voltage state of Shinra technology.”

“Brown then?”

Sephiroth nodded. “Brown bricks with a grey floor.”

“Then I suppose even hospital is luxurious.”

Again, they fell into the quiet, only the distant chattering of other passengers and the sharp sound of splattering sleet against the glass sounded for the next hour, well, the silence lasted for Genesis.

“You should ask him,” Posie sat at Sephiroth’s side where his arm was stretched behind her. “It will put your mind at ease!”

‘Quiet.’

She frowned. “Ask him first.” He said nothing. “You know I won’t shut up until you do.”

‘I don’t want to ask him.’

“I’m in your head Sephiroth, I know you want to.”

‘I’m tired of your nagging!’

“Let’s agree that’s self-loathing then!”

“What’s wrong?” Genesis asked, distracting Sephiroth from his ‘conversation’.

“Excuse me?”

“Your expression, something’s wrong?”

“Oh! He’s asked now! Go on, tell him!”

He sighed. “Do you think she’ll remember me?”

“Who? Alice?”

“No, the Tooth Fairy, of course Alice!”

“Well I’m sure the Tooth Fairy will remember you after all those traps you set, as for Alice, you released her from a brick cage, spent five days with her, left her in hospital and went back to work so it’s a bit of a hit and miss I suppose.”

“He must be confident everything’s okay to sound that ballsy.” Posie announced.

“Shut up.”

“I’m in your head my devil; you know he’s confident when he’s brazen.”

Genesis frowned. “Don’t tell me to shut up!”

“Not you!” Sephiroth quickly stopped, Posie had disappeared. “Did I speak out loud?”

“…Who were you looking at?” Genesis asked, though he knew the answer.
Sephiroth thickly swallowed, ‘no one’, he wanted to say, but it felt like a lie, too cruel… disrespectful.
“Because, if you were talking to her, I understand.”

Sephiroth hung his head so his long fringe hid his face. “Enough.”

“You can still see her.” Genesis realised.

“I said, enough.” He slowly looked up; a sad, warning glare formed his expression.

They stared at each other like two cats, reading each other’s movements, wondering who would strike first. “So when is Alice coming home?” Genesis struck.

It took Sephiroth a while to reply. “As soon as Social Services check my apartment and lifestyle, I have to inform the President of Alice’s existence but I’m sure Hojo must have mentioned something to him.”

“Almost certainly.” Genesis agreed. “When are they coming?”

“I need to visit the hospital and inform them of my schedule, they’ll arrange the visit and if all is in order Alice will be released to me.” He lifted his head, his hair sweeping back in place. “She’ll need physiotherapy, regardless.”

Genesis carefully began his next sentence. “Sephiroth, have you suggested an examination for… abuse?”

Sephiroth scoffed. “Abuse was blankly obvious.”

“That’s not the type of abuse I meant, I was thinking of something far more disgusting.”
Sephiroth’s eyes narrowed and blazed at the announced suggestion. “She was in Hojo’s presence for two years; we know he likes them young.”

“Not that young.” He seethed and crossed his arms and flinched, closing his eyes at a brief, but terrible, memory and the sensation of dread in his abdomen that accompanied it. “Four years is his earliest preference.”

“But still…”

“I can’t put her through that, if he has done something what of it? He’s done enough for me to hate him, enough to know I’ll not allow Alice near him. What would happen if he had done that and we knew?” He laughed. “We’d report it? How would that help? Not even death can touch that monster.”

“What about her mind?” Posie had returned again, and though she was invisible to Genesis’ eyes, he knew Sephiroth saw her when his head turned. “Her mind needs time to heal.”

‘I’m not talking about this now.’ And the conversation was over as Posie disappeared.
Sephiroth’s cold gaze glazed with longing and sadness as he stared at the empty seat beside him.

“It must be so frustrating,” Genesis sadly said as he watched Sephiroth’s miserable stare, “to have something unattainable so close.”

Sephiroth didn’t reply, perhaps the echo of loneliness drowned out Genesis’ voice.

…

“That took longer than expected.” Lazard said as Genesis and Sephiroth arrived.

“The Dragon disappeared into the mountain range.” Sephiroth explained. “We took it down within minutes but tracked it for a week. It had fled to Costa Del Sol.”

Lazard nodded in understanding. “Costa Del Sol’s mountain range is a vast area, well done. I’m assuming you wrote your reports on the ride home?” Two papers were presented to him. “You’re free to go.” He hadn’t failed to see Sephiroth glancing up at the clock, but first… “Sephiroth, you have a meeting with the President.”

Sephiroth’s turned on his heels and began his journey, his legs were heavy with hate as he counted his misfortunes. There were many people he hated, though he could count them on one hand he still considered it a great amount of people to hate, he had hated many more but, as he recalled, they were dead, he almost grinned.

He entered the elevator and swiped his golden card key, the key that would grant access to hell.

“What are you going to tell him?” Posie asked.

“The first thing that comes to mind.” He saw no harm in speaking aloud; he was the only person in the elevator.

Posie whistled. “Bad idea! ‘You’re a fat old mothEEP fuEEP’ is better kept in your head with me.”

Sephiroth frowned. “MothEEP?”

“We can’t swear; we have a kid now!”

Sephiroth chuckled. “He is though, isn’t he?”

“Abso’fuEEPing’lutely!”

The doors opened and they exited, the Soldiers at the double doors saluted Sephiroth and stepped aside.
‘Behave.’ Sephiroth told her.

“I always behave—!” She dramatically gasped. “Look at him! He looks like a beached whale! …Actually he looks like a great fat walrus that ate a beached whale.”

‘Posie!’ He scolded. ‘How can you tell anyway?’

She blinked her blind eyes. “I can see what you see, there’s a nice view inside your head.” She tapped his temple.

“Sephiroth!” Shinra welcomed him, lighting a new cigar though he’d not finished the old one.

“Do you think cigars are the only things he sucks?”

‘Posie!’ He growled.

“He’s so much fatter than I remember him.”

It took all his will-power not to glare at her. ‘You’re particularly verbal today.’

She shrugged, standing beside him. “What can I say; your brain’s a crazy place.”

“Lazard said you’d have something to tell me when you returned.” Shinra narrowed his eyes. “What are you stood there for? Come closer, I won’t bite!” Sephiroth stepped closer, trying not to appear as cautious as he felt. “Not anymore.” Shinra slyly added.

Sephiroth managed a quick glare as he stood at the desk, not sitting until permitted, not that he wanted to… Posie was sat there. “He’s trying to unnerve you.” She told him. Blinded so young, what Posie lacked in facial expressions she made up for with voice tones, and hers had become an examining, dark one.
She was leant forward, resting her forearms on her legs, giving the President the stern glare Sephiroth wished he could wear in his presence.

“Though you did squeal so nicely.”

“That’s it! Tell him!”
Sephiroth regretted that he’d stared at his feet when the President spoke; it was difficult to lift his head and stare the pot-bellied whale eating walrus in the eyes.
“Look at the walking angina attack in the eye and tell him!” She insisted.

“Professor Hojo mentioned my daughter to you.”

Posie nodded her approval as Shinra stilled. “That was good, that was very good.”

‘Score one to us.’ Sephiroth thought.

“He did, apparently your mad wife demanded your sperm but abandoned your spawn when it produced.”

“Kill him, kill him now.” She demanded.

‘Enough!’
“Hojo has now given that child to me; she’s coming to live with me, regardless of Shinra policies.”

“Well said. But you should still kill him; it would be a nice memorial to my memory.”

“I know,” Shinra began, “we agreed on that several months ago, did he not tell you?”

Sephiroth shifted on his feet and frowned. “He didn’t tell me I had a daughter until he pulled her out of the dark.”

“Sephiroth, don’t say too much.”

Shinra laughed. “If he’d told you beforehand would you have gone?” Sephiroth didn’t reply. “I didn’t think so. Cigar?” He offered, Sephiroth held his hand up, declining. “Everyone smokes with me, boy.”

“I don’t smoke anymore, Sir.”

“Such a shame! A man who does not smoke is a man that cannot be trusted.”

“With the lives of others.” Posie added.

“How is little Malice?”

“Alice.” Sephiroth corrected.

“I’m sure Hojo said her name was Malice.”

“I know my daughter’s name.”

“For a whole fortnight.” He lit his new cigar. “…Shame about the others…”

“What?”

“Focus Sephiroth.”

“Alice is fine.” He growled.

Shinra exhaled the smoke and Sephiroth rubbed the nicotine patch on his arm. “I heard she’s sick in a hospital wing.”

“Who told you that?” He demanded. “Is she being watched?”

The President smugly sat back in his chair. “This is my World, boy. I know all its secrets.” He turned his chair to look out at the sky, polluted black, the tall buildings smouldering with dirt and the ground, so far below, teeming with the unfortunate people who dwelled in his city. “Even those never to be uncovered.” He turned back. “Go! Go to your charge!”

Sephiroth left as quickly as he could, hurried to the elevator and swiped his card, only when the doors slid closed did he breath, his knees were horribly weak and he sank to the floor, noticing, for the first time, the nervous bounce in his left leg.
It was like a horrible nightmare where you face your greatest fear and it’s as if your lungs are being sucked from your chest, and the nerves in your legs have weakened and the monsters are catching up to you, so you try to run but get nowhere as they close in, getting closer and closer as you get slower and slower and your weak knees crouch lower and lower until “Sephiroth, breathe.”

The ghostly hands laid on his shoulder and stroked his face as Posie crouched before him. “It’s over, breathe.” Breathless and sweating, he desperately reached up to clutch her hand on his face, but all he felt was shaven skin, though he could see her blind eyes and hear her kindly voice.
“He’s gone; he’s sat, eating himself to death in his office. It’s a death trap for us actually, a man that size sat at the top of the building, if he makes any sudden movements the whole place could cave in.” She was trying to make him laugh but all he could do was refrain from screaming. She smiled at him again, so sadly. “You’ll be okay.” And she was gone.

Shakily, he clutched the glass walls and forced himself up, unable to stop his bouncing leg as he adjusted his rumpled clothes and pulled his fringe from his sticky forehead. “Coffee.” He said to himself, he couldn’t visit Alice in such a shaken state. “Coffee and something strong.”

…

He visited the hospital later than usual, expecting Alice to be sleeping as it was late in the evening. He was surprised to find her sat up in bed closely examining Pancake.
The corners of Sephiroth’s mouth nervously twitched as he moved from the window to the door.

Alice, frightened, pulled Pancake into a tight hug as Sephiroth entered. He was perfectly still for two seconds that felt like an eternity, wondering if Alice’s reaction meant she’d forgotten him and if she had would that mean – “Daddy!” – of course she wouldn’t forget him, he smiled to himself; he was not forgotten easily, no matter how hard people tried.

“Why aren’t you asleep?” He calmly asked; approaching the bed as she reached up, demanding a hug. She quietly babbled something that Sephiroth guessed was a question. “I had to go to work.” He replied and moved to sit on the chair, despite Alice clinging onto him.
She’d gained weight, he happily noted. The bruises had faded and he lifted the covers to check her feet, no longer so heavily bandaged. He dropped the covers and looked at Alice’s confused face, laughing a little at her bewildered expression.
“Have you had many visitors?” He struggled to converse, guessing she must have, judging by the large array of stuffed toys piled high beside the bed.

“Be a bit more specific.” Posie prompted, stood on the other side of the bed, next to Teddy Bear Mountain.

He glared at her and looked back at Alice, she pushed the covers off herself and crawled across the bed to get to him, he frowned at how limply she dragged her feet as she grabbed his knees, trying to climb on his lap. “No,” he began.

“She’s not hooked up to anything, so it should be okay.” Posie protested.

Sephiroth pulled Alice onto his lap, careful not to push on anything that may still be healing. ‘I’m not the type to have a child on my knee.’

“You’re not the type to collapse in lifts but you still do it. Go on, talk to her!”

“Have Zack or Angeal come to…” he thought for a moment, “…say hello?”
Alice, sucking her bandaged fists, nodded. “Why are your hands bandaged?” He moved to examine one but she whined and pulled her arm back, pushing it between his abdomen and her body as she leant against him.
“Alice, we need to come to an understanding.” He pulled her back to stare at her eyes. “I’m not good with people, I fail at conversation and I don’t understand children so when I make the effort to speak to you I need some sort of reply.”

Alice laid her head on his chest and sighed as she held his arm and hugged Pancake, chewing his ear. She said nothing.

“Well what did you expect?” Posie asked.

Alice quickly fell asleep, and Sephiroth was afraid to move for fear of waking her. He cringed when a nurse entered and smiled at the two of them. A smiling health professional within a clinical environment, the bounce had returned to his leg.

“That’s the first time she’s slept in a week.” The nurse announced.

Sephiroth looked back down at Alice, both her hands were clenched into small fists and held up to her face, covering her nose and mouth in, what he supposed was, her comfortable sleeping position.
“Why are her hands bandaged?”

“She’s traumatised; she chews her fists when she’s frightened.”

Something about the cautiously gentle way the man spoke made Sephiroth listen. “She skinned her hands.” He said to confirm his understanding.

He nodded. “Yes.” He looked at his clipboard and then put it on the side. “Mr. Gainsborough, assuming Alice goes home with you, the doctor and direct staff would like her to have some mental health care, actually, we insist on it.”

“You mean it’s one of the requirements that make me an acceptable parent.”

“To focus on her physical care and not her mental care would be classified as neglect.”

Not in the best of moods Sephiroth soured. “That is if she comes to reside with me.”

“Tell them when you’re next free.” Sephiroth glared at Posie. “Tell him!”

“Tomorrow is my only free day that I know of.”

“For your Social Services visit? That’s short notice.”

“It’s the only notice you’ll be getting.”

“Not so vicious Seph’, we have to leave our daughter with him.”

Sephiroth frowned and hung his head. “My apologies, it’s been a long week… I’m tired.”

“Understandable, we’ve made allowanced but you’ll have to leave soon, get some rest.”

“Yes.” And the nurse left.

He looked back down at his daughter, not ready to refer to her as his little girl just yet, and moved her hands away from her mouth, regretting it when she whimpered and whined until he moved them back in place. “Why do I like you?” He asked, but no one answered.

Chapter Text

“So why don’t we begin with how you’ve been coping Mr Gainsborough, or would you prefer first name terms?”

Sephiroth’s foot twitched relentlessly as he sat on the beige couch in the lime green room.
The therapist, a Doctor Timpany, sat opposite him on a soft coral arm chair.
Oriental plants were placed on the indenture of the wall where the lime green walls met the bay window, its white blinds, half shut, cast a soft glow on the room as the wintry afternoon sunlight attempted to glow through the heavy clouds and pierce the window.

“Just tell her the truth.” Posie prompted, sat next to him on the sofa. No matter how many times he shook his head, she just wouldn’t leave.

“Sephiroth is fine.” True, Gainsborough was better than Sephiroth Hojo, but Gainsborough had been his wife’s choice of surname when they married, it carried a sort of nostalgic ambience with it, and hearing it aloud often felt like sacrilege.

“Well Sephiroth, how have you been?” She softly asked.

He frowned, confused and untrusting he moved his head to the side, peering out the corners of his eyes. “Why do you ask?”

“Raising a child is tiring, let alone under these circumstances, how do you feel you’ve handled things?”

Sephiroth’s mind progressed back three days.
…

Taking your child home (from hospital) is supposedly every parent’s dream, no matter the circumstances. It’s a moment viewed as a new start, a better beginning, but as Sephiroth poked and pushed his squealing daughter into the evil stroller and tried to tie her up with the straps; the future appeared bleaker than any other parent may have viewed it.

“I don’t like it either!” He answered her shrieks. The straps eventually clicked together and he began steering her home, feeling he was the embodiment of conspicuousness.

Unable to walk until her feet were healed, Sephiroth vowed to throw the stroller into the Lifestream as soon as Alice could stand on her own two feet. It was a neon pink contraption designed to humiliate parent and child. It had a mind of its own, rolling into corners rather than around them, which only made parenting a greater challenge.

Alice’s cries soon stopped and she became so quiet Sephiroth found himself leaning over the handles to see if she was well, either that or wriggled free when the left wheel had done that strange spin that sent the entire chair off course. But Alice was still there; well wrapped in a coat, scarf and hat, hugging Pancake and gazing at the world he steered her through.

She quietened when they entered Sector 8’s milder locations; busy with people and cars.
She squinted at the low winter sun, flinched at the passing people, stared at the passing pet dogs and other children. Sephiroth then realised that she may have never seen another child before, he was both wrought with dread and curiosity when he thought of introducing her to… other children… he shook his head to dismiss the image of his house full of them during some pink-struck Cissnei planned birthday party.

Alice seemed to recognise the fountain in the plaza as a landmark of home. Springing to life a little more she leant out of her chair to observe it and reached into its misty spray while Sephiroth cursed at the stroller wheels spinning on the polished tile ground.

In his apartment building he left the stroller at the bottom of the stairs, too frustrated to deal with it any further.

“You’re home!” A single voice yelled as he opened the door.
Alice screamed and dug her fingers into his shoulders.

“I said don’t shout, Zack!” Angeal reprimanded.

“Did the chair-thing survive the journey?” Genesis turned a page of his book.

“Why are you all here?” Sephiroth asked, prizing Alice’s claws from him as he looked for a space to set her down, choosing to sit her next to Angeal who Alice seemed to remember and quickly hid her face in his lap.

“…Because the heating’s down on the right side of the building… again.” Angeal nonchalantly stroked Alice’s hair. “And allowing your life-risking comrades inside on such a cold day is the honourable thing to do.” He stressed.

Sephiroth remained silent; he didn’t feel like receiving a lecture that day. He placed the backpack full of Alice’s belongings on the floor and pulled his hood down, removing the shadows from his face. “She was discharged with more than she took in.” He commented, noting how full the bag was.

“Reno and Rude went to visit her,” Angeal began, “they brought her a ton of soft toys, Cissnei sent clothes from Junon, Genesis took her some picture books and I gave her colouring pads and crayons.”

“I gave her soft toys too.” Zack mentioned, bending down so he could pull faces at Alice until she reached out, demanding a hug.

Sephiroth removed his coat as he walked to the kitchen, finding his favourite mug he readied the coffee machine.
The pocket of his coat, laid on the kitchen surface, began to leap and chime as he received a text.

Show her her ROOM!

He sighed at Cissnei’s message, knowing he’d only receive another in a few minutes if he didn’t inform her of Alice’s response.
“Alice!” He returned to the living room, took her from Zack and walked into the newly decorated bedroom. “This is your room.”

Alice looked around with a shocked expression and bright eyes. “Down!” She wriggled.

“Down what?” He stressed, walking to the bed and ready to set her on it.

“Down!”

“Say please.”
She gaped up at him with large confused eyes.

“That might be a new word Sephiroth.” Angeal explained, stood in the doorway to observe Alice’s reaction to the room decorated in coffee, cream and lilac.

Sephiroth set her down on the bed and watched her instantly begin pulling at the stuffed cloud plushie pillow and silently fretted when she slid off the bed to crawl to the tea set spread on the round table between two chairs upon the round mat.

…

“She likes her new room and slept in it most of the night.” Sephiroth told Doctor Timpany. “Perhaps not being able to walk had something to do with it?” He mumbled.

“But what about you, how have you been handling things?”
…

Soldiers, First Class or not, don’t have as much time off as their fans imagine. Free time was filled with training, paperwork, consultations and public appearances whilst working as bodyguards, hit-men and watchmen. Any time off-base was mostly spent sleeping.

“What is this?” Genesis barked, stood in the hall on the Soldier floor as Sephiroth approached from the other end. Alice was sat in his arms clutching Pancake.
The Doctor had given strict instructions, no shoes until further notice; they didn’t want any pressure on her stitches, so Alice’s feet dangled freely and were warmly wrapped in large fleecy blue and white socks.
Her legs were bruised and swollen as the tendons healed, so Sephiroth had left them bare and dressed her in a dark blue knitted dress with a grey flouncy floral hem. He hoped it would be enough to keep her warm, she hadn’t complained so he supposed it had worked.
“Have you lost your mind?”

He frowned, his stride not faltering. “What else was I to do with her?”

“It is not that hard to find a good day care!”

“If it’s that easy you can do it.” He passed his disgruntled friend.

“Ah! Sephiroth you’re here,” Lazard began as Sephiroth entered his office, he didn’t look away from the computer screen, recognising Sephiroth by the sound of his heavy footfalls and leathery stride, “it’s unlike you to be late –” he looked away from the monitor screen on his desk, “is this her?”

He nodded. “Alice, this is Lazard, say hello.” Alice whimpered and hid her face in his pauldron.

Lazard chuckled as Sephiroth readied to scold her. “This is hardly a formal visit. I know I said I was interested in meeting her but I hardly meant this soon, not while she’s still recovering.”

“It’s circumstantial, at least until I find an institute or sitter I consider trustworthy enough to care for her.”

He frowned. “You mean you intend to bring her in everyday? You’re very untrusting Sephiroth; the child will be grown before you find ‘Sephiroth approved’ care for her!”

He smirked. “That solves my problem then.” He left Lazard to ponder his words.

“Sephiroth!” Lazard stood and called after him, annoyed as the sentence resonated in his head.

“If you have no missions for me, I’ll be in the training hall. You can message my schedule to my phone.”

Lazard sighed and sat back in his seat.

“Rough day already?” A hoarse voice questioned from behind the Shinra sign. A large man walked out from behind it, dressed in a green and red military suit with multiple badges of honour pinned to the front.
His dark brown beard was bushy and his eyes were stern beneath heavy dark brows.

“Heidegger? How long were you there?”

“Long enough. So, Hojo’s finally given Sephiroth his little pet project. GAH HA HA HA!”

Lazard frowned. “Heidegger, if you know something –”

“I know many things.” He quickly changed the subject. “Sephiroth left before he could be briefed, Shinra can’t have its Union Executive become powerless because the Great Sephiroth is able to ignore him; we’d have a disobedience crisis on our hands within the week!”

“To be fair it is Saturday, there’s not much of the week left.”

“I’m going to talk to that boy, teach him who really runs this military.” He began to leave.

Lazard cringed. “Don’t get too involved Heidegger.”

Heidegger dramatically held a large hand to the badges on his chest. “I am the head of Military; it is my duty to keep my SOLDIER’s in their correct places.”

When he left Lazard quickly sent a message to Sephiroth:

HEIDEGGER ALERT
…

When the Second-Class SOLDIER’s and the cleaning crew left the Company Training Room, Sephiroth, Angeal and Genesis had snuck in.
Sephiroth’s phone buzzed and on the screen as he received Lazard’s message. He turned his phone off; he only wanted one hour of enjoyment… even though Alice was playing with his hair.

“What was the last one?” Angeal asked as Genesis fumbled with his phone.

“The train station.”

Sephiroth shook his head. “I’m in the mood for action today; find something a little more challenging.”

Genesis frowned. “Why should I take orders from a man too incompetent to find adequate care for the child that shouldn’t exist?”

“Shush Genesis!” Angeal hissed. “She can hear you!”

Indignantly he closed his eyes. “She should not even be in here anyway.”

“And neither should we.” Angeal replied.

Sephiroth smiled. “And that is why it’s fun.”

“I believe you’re a secret exhibitionist?” Genesis continued to sulk as he searched through the map on his phone, trying to find an adequate location for the room to form around them.

“Her feet are broken Genesis, not her ears.” Sephiroth adjusted Alice on his arm as she batted his long fringe.

“They broke them?” Angeal questioned.

He nodded. “Something to do with straightening the bones.”

“Wutai mountain range!” Genesis exclaimed, his thumb pushing the select button. “You want action, you’ll get action.”

The walls melted and reformed into little squares that built up around them into tall mountains. They stood on a head carved into the rock miles above the ground, the red sunset shone over their heads. The mountain peaks were so tall they were embedded in cloud, the mountain itself was rugged with ridges, peaks and ledges waiting to be climbed.

Angeal sighed and looked at Alice. “Perhaps something on the flat would be more appropriate Genesis?”

Genesis grinned. “Sephiroth wants a challenge… The first SOLDIER to the summit is today’s winner!” He leapt higher from cliff edge to cliff edge, passionately desperate to watch Sephiroth disappear into ant-size beneath him.

“This is a bad idea.” Angeal sighed as Sephiroth moved his hand from Alice’s back to grab the ridge before him.

He grinned. “Genesis never wins.” He leapt high, landing in Genesis’ footsteps.

Angeal huffed and leapt after them.

“It’s easier to climb when you’re not weighed down with another person, don’t you find?” Genesis taunted as Sephiroth neared.

“You might actually win if your mouth didn’t use up most of your energy.” Sephiroth leaped higher, smiling in determination as he landed gracefully on each ledge, occasionally grabbing small ridges and jumping higher when a ledge was out of reach.
Alice yelped each time he jumped and had dug her nails into his neck, holding on tightly.

“Sephiroth stop!” Angeal called as Sephiroth’s leaps became more daring, he and Genesis fought to outdo the other with bigger jumps and acrobatics. Genesis twisted here and Sephiroth spun there, Genesis back-flipped onto a mountainous ledge and Sephiroth back-flipped three times up the mountain, deaf to Angeal’s calls, one more leap and he’d win!
He leapt towards a ridge and clung onto it, quickly hoisted himself in the air, curled up and flew like a spinning trapeze act before uncurling and elegantly landing on the ledge below the summit that crumbled under his feet.

“SEPHIROTH!” Angeal called as he saw him fall and grab onto a lower ridge by his fingertips, his glove torn and hand skinned having trailed down the rocky mountain front.

Sephiroth hung in mid-air, unable to hurl himself up as his stamina was compromised. “Get on my back.” He ordered Alice who had her face buried in his scratched neck. Her eyes were wide as saucers; her screams had become frightened sobs he heard for the first time as her stiff body trembled on his arm.
“I am your father; do as I say!”

“Genesis! Help them!” Angeal cried.

Sephiroth looked up, next to his hand Genesis stood on the narrow crumbling ledge, smiling down at him. They didn’t speak, only stared, each daring the other to react, like two cats ready to wage war. Finally, Genesis struck. His heel slammed on Sephiroth’s hand and pushed him off the ledge.

“NO!” Angeal yelled as they fell passed him and he was unable to grab them.
The world melted and Sephiroth landed on the floor on his back, Alice wrapped up in his arms on his chest.
Angeal and Genesis fell from the ceiling and landed on their feet on the training room floor.

Genesis stood over him, his smile never faltered. “How lucky you are that a thousand foot drop became a mere seventeen foot.” He was spun around and held up by his turtleneck.

“WHAT DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING?” Angeal hollered.

Genesis nonchalantly pulled free from his hands. “Just a little friendly rivalry between brothers-in-arms.”

“There was nothing friendly about it!” Angeal replied.

“Perhaps.” Genesis agreed. “Perhaps it is difficult to be brothers-in-arms when one has a child-in-arms.”

“You could have killed her.” Sephiroth growled, ignoring how Alice’s shocked silence had morphed into terrified howls as he stood. “What is wrong with you?”

“Insubordination!” A rough voice called from the doorway. From there, Heidegger sternly glared at them, they stood like three deer’s in his headlights. “ATTENTION!” He hollered having expectantly awaited a formal greeting and received none.

They sprung into a line, faces as blank as possible.

“HAND SALUTE!”

Alice screeched each time Heidegger hollered and she bawled as he walked before them.

“What? No ‘thank you Sir’? Not even for pulling the plug on your little tryst?”

“THANK YOU SIR!” They replied in unison, internally hoping for lenience as they felt they’d been reduced not only to Third-Class Soldier’s again but bad-behaved schoolboys. It had been a long time since Heidegger had pulled rank on them.

“I am TRYING to decide whether Corporal Punishment is too good your LUDICROUS ACTIONS” he stood before Sephiroth “and YOUR INSOLENCE!”

Sephiroth tried not to sigh, with one punch he could knock this angry little man down.

“Angeal and Genesis shall publicly receive ten lashes with the sword! Alice…” His voice became maliciously gentle.

Sephiroth’s pupils shrank as he tried to keep his face stoic and laid a hand on Alice’s head when Heidegger stroked a lock of her hair.

“She reminds me of her mother. Do you remember when you were a child, separating you two and keeping you in separate cells for a few hours was punishment enough.”

Memories flashed inside Sephiroth’s head like white light, Posie, thirteen years old, reaching out for him as they were pulled in separate directions.

“Sephiroth!” She’d cried, blindly reaching out for him in Hojo’s grip whilst he struggled to get out of Heidegger’s grasp, a syringe strong enough to knock out a rhinoceros was stuck in his neck.

“Let go! Let go!” He’d hollered, becoming weaker as he was lifted off the floor and pulled away, hearing that terrible hoarse laugh as he was thrown in the pure white cell, the door slid closed and he, paralysed, wanted to scream and kick, but was trapped within his own body until the effects of the tranquilizer wore off. Until then he’d hear Posie in the cell nearby screeching whilst he awaited a monster of high regard to enter and take advantage of his puppet-like-state.

“It worked then, it will work again.” Sephiroth snapped back to reality when Heidegger reached out to snatch Alice.

“RUN SEPHIROTH!” Posie yelled inside his head.

He swung his leg up and kicked Heidegger between the eyes. “Run.” He demanded his friends when Heidegger fell to the floor.
Genesis made sure to lock the training room door behind them.

Not long later they were seated in Lazard’s office; Heidegger was stood beside him, his eyes blackened and forehead bruised.
Alice nervously sat on Sephiroth’s knee, pacified with a bright green apple to chew on.

“Where to begin?” Lazard began.

“I expect public punishment for the lot of them!” Heidegger barked. “And that little wretch belongs in Hojo’s care!”

Alice gasped and almost choked on her bite of apple when Heidegger mentioned Hojo.
Sephiroth slammed his fist on her back until she coughed the bite up.

“Don’t get the juice on you, you’re allergic to apples.” Posie warned, stood behind him like a benevolent ghost.

“Corporal punishment of First-Class SOLDIER’s has to be discussed directly with the President who is away on business. Besides, we can’t have our First Class SOLDIER’s appearing weak before the men who have to trust them.”

“Well that may be what you think –!”

“That’s what I’m putting in my report. The President can see to it from there. But I’m suggesting a drop in salary until then.”
…

“But what about you, how have you been handling things?” Dr Timpany asked.

“Fine.” Sephiroth replied and heard Posie smack her forehead into her palm.

Chapter Text

The therapy sessions weren’t that bad, Sephiroth decided. There was no clinical smell to set off his defences, a woman would ask him a lot of questions and a man would ask Alice to draw something, but Alice mostly sat on a beanbag looking terrified… until the day she drew something, something that had Sephiroth removed from his duties to approach President Shinra’s office, where he found Scarlet and Tseng sat with Hojo, waiting for him.

“What’s this about?” He asked, striding in, his defences high. “My men are to be shipped to Wutai within the week and you’d have me sit here so they can be sent into warfare unprepared?”

“Be quiet and sit down!” Hojo squawked.

Sephiroth scowled, but recalled the hold they had, not only over him but also his daughter. He adjusted his coat and sat in the only spare seat – beside Hojo and his victorious expression.

“How are you finding the therapy sessions?”

Sephiroth bristled at the President’s words. “Private.” He snarled.

“Alice drew this yesterday,” Tseng began, as if to stop the President’s disgruntled anger from sparking at Sephiroth’s tone, “in a non-Shinra clinic.”

Sephiroth snatched the picture from Tseng’s hand. It was the drawing Alice had drawn yesterday in the child therapist, Dr Collinwood’s; room.

After four weeks of hour-long sessions, during which Alice did nothing but sit stiff as a corpse on a beanbag in the corner, she had finally moved, nervously picked up a crayon and scribbled. That was all Sephiroth had been expecting, a scribble… not detail, as he’d watched her lift crayons of every colour.

Dr Collinwood described Alice as ‘exceptionally gifted artistically’ after examining the worrying details in the picture.

A round faced stick figure with two yellow lines of hair and blue drops hanging from green splodge eyes wore a triangle green gown with a red scribbled front laid on a grey oblong. Another grey oblong was beside it with sharper lines of red and black overlaying it.
Blue squares were drawn in grey squares like computer screens and hovering over the table was an identifiable figure, a stick figure with a single long line of brown emerging from the back of his head, his smile dotted in black crayon below round glasses, he’d a purple line for a tie and a grey outline of a white coat. He seemed to have a knife in his hand which somehow made the grey binds on Alice’s stick figure wrists noticeable.

Sephiroth had worried; the therapist had been a little speechless and decided he’d arrange a lengthy meeting between him and Sephiroth.

“How did you get this?” Sephiroth growled. “Am I being followed?”

“Of course you are!” Shinra announced.

“The Professor has given you one of his leading experiments,” Scarlet began, her voice always sultry, especially around him, “experiments like that have secrets that should remain secret.”

“Drawing pictures for strangers is unethical!” Hojo decided.

Sephiroth did all he could to stop his chest from heaving. He was trapped in a room with his worst enemies speaking about Alice as if she were a rare piece of china!

“Is therapy really necessary?” Tseng drearily asked.

“What good will discussing such important events with scarcely qualified strangers do for anyone?” Hojo persisted.

Sephiroth glared at him. “If you didn’t want these things discussed with strangers you shouldn’t have done them in the first place.”

“Measures were taken to ensure the subject behaved, how DARE you –!” President Shinra raised a hand to silence him.

“If Project A-1 –”

“Alice.” Sephiroth interrupted, stunning the President into silence, he was rarely interrupted, few had ever dared. “Her name is Alice.”

“If IT continues to speak to strangers of the Shinra Science Department’s secrets the Shinra Company will be forced to take measures. If she insists on therapy then it must at least be done through the Company with someone of Professor Hojo’s choosing.” He motioned to Hojo whose begruntled expression morphed into a smile.

“Don’t be presumptuous, Alice is not even three, Child Services sent her there to describe the pain of mutilated feet, black eyes, Hojo’s shoe-print bruised into her very muscle and the trauma of being kept in a janitor’s closet!” He couldn’t stop himself, he wanted to hurt Hojo’s pride, to wipe the smile from his face, to punish Tseng’s actions and rip out Scarlet’s sultry voice! So his sentence was long and he wondered how he could make them understand the pain they had caused, even though he knew they wouldn’t care.

President Shinra was enraged, his voice was an angry grumble and his fat fist shook on his desk as his face reddened. “Did you not HEAR the Professor? Measures must be taken, discipline must be endured else our subject run as riot as AVALANCHE! You’ve never understood, perhaps we didn’t take enough measures with you?”

Sephiroth remained stoic but wanted to squirm in his chair.
Tseng remained seemingly unchanged but those who had spent time with him in the orphanage, as Sephiroth had, noticed the habitual twitch in his knee and his hand clenched to control it.
Sephiroth noticed it, and he was glad in a wicked sort of way.

“Controlling through fear is a quicker process than controlling through care. Just as lust is more satisfactory than love.” Scarlet smiled at him.

“I will deal with Child Services personally.” President Shinra decided. “They’ll not bother my poster boy again.”
Sephiroth cringed.
“I’ll make sure Alice remains under your roof and the Professor will –”

“The Professor will stay out of my business.” Sephiroth growled stormed to the lift.

“Stay where you are, BOY.” Hojo barked and as if the words were a magic spell Sephiroth was frozen, his feet like cement and his knees like jelly.
His mind screamed to run, his body froze and his knees weakened to the point of pain. Warfare had never struck as much terror into him as the two men in the room, nor as much hatred as Tseng or as much repulsion as Scarlet.

‘ARHH! STOP…!’ The voice of his nine-year-old self screeched in his head as flashes of memory fell like a ton of bricks from a crumbling tower.

“You will leave when you have been dismissed!” The President hollered.

He turned his head a little. “Do you have anything else to say to me?”

The President thought for a while. “…I consider this meeting adjourned! But I warn you Sephiroth, have some discretion for the Company that raised you, and respect it.”

Sephiroth continued to the lift, Alice’s picture still in his hand as he pushed the button for the ground floor, wanting nothing more than to crumple into a heap as he had before.
Somehow, Hojo weaselled his way into the lift before the doors could close and Sephiroth was so tense he was sure the hairs on the back of his neck lifted.

“The ground floor,” Hojo looked at the letter G lit up in gold on the pad as the lift began to move. “Ah; good!”

Sephiroth cringed; he really had to manage several minutes in this lift with Hojo? That is assuming it didn’t stop for anyone else.

Hojo never stayed quiet for long, but still, the silence before he began was unbearable. “I hear you’ve been misbehaving lately, Sephiroth.”

He folded his arms, refusing to reply should his voice quaver.

“Ha! Perhaps I should have disciplined YOU more when you were a child? Subordination is everything for someone of your standing!”

“Did you discipline Alice?” He mumbled, his eyes flickered from his boots to Hojo’s purple tie.

Hojo grinned. “Have you?”

“NO!”

“Good. It’s best to wait until they’re a couple of years older. When they’re old enough to be rid of their curiosity and be afraid of your actions.”

Sephiroth couldn’t lift his arms to fold them as memory clouded thought. He settled for moving his left hand to hold his right elbow, not thinking how vulnerable it must have made him look.
He had been brave when he’d met Alice; he had held Hojo up by his collar and even gotten his face close to his. But he’d had all of three days to prepare himself for the meeting and felt defensive when he’d laid eyes on Alice, even though he hadn’t known it at the time, that need to defend had given him strength. A strength he certainly wished he had then.

“One day,” He began, trying to muster some courage and push his perverse memories aside, “you’re going to meet someone you harmed, perhaps even someone you thought you’d done away with, and that person will end you.”

The elevator chimed as it hit the ground floor, drowned out by Hojo’s laughter. “I have done away with everyone who would harm me! Remember that Sephiroth.” He walked onto the marbled ground. “I’ll see you later, SOLDIER. Angeal.” He greeted as he passed Angeal, who had patiently been waiting with two others for the elevator to arrive.

Angeal watched Sephiroth’s defensive movements as he readied his march, a warning series of footsteps that screamed ‘stay away!’

“Stay focused, Sephiroth.” Angeal approached his friend, knowing better than to touch him. “I’ll take you home; we’ll have a lunch break there.” He looked down at the drawing tightly held in Sephiroth’s fist. “You want me to take that?”

Sephiroth quickly looked down at it, he’d forgotten he was holding it.

“You don’t want to tear it.”

His grip held fast as he held it out to Angeal, who practically had to prise it from his stiff fingers. “We’ll walk, it’ll do you good.”

The walk was silent and slowly cleared Sephiroth’s mind. His stiff joints began to ease up and his legs regained their strength.
By the time they were back at the apartment building he was feeling considerably better, angry but better.

“We can eat at mine.” Angeal said, swiping his key card through the lock. “I made a casserole from leftover stew, don’t worry, the beef isn’t like rocks this time.” He joked and Sephiroth managed a slight smile.

The food was warm, the water in their glasses was fresh and the radio was a low mumble from the kitchen. When they were halfway through their meal Angeal decided to break the silence. “Who was there?”

Sephiroth frowned. “Where?”

“In the President’s office.”

He swallowed his mouthful slowly and considered replying. “Hojo, Shinra, Scarlet and Tseng.”

“Was it about the picture? I took a look at it in the kitchen.”

“She has… artistic talent, an eye for detail, apparently.”

“And more trauma than we thought.” Angeal added.

Sephiroth told Angeal everything, word for word, he finished the story at the point where the lift doors opened and Angeal had been stood there.

“At least we now know Hojo didn’t do anything… perverse… in that way, to Alice then. Hojo would have bragged about it if he had.”

Sephiroth was once again feeling awkward. “He just bragged about the other children he… disciplined.”

“Hmph, is that what they’re calling it now? Do you feel well enough to return to work?” He carried their empty plates to the dishwasher.

“I’ve no choice. But I worry more for Hojo or Tseng, should I run into them.”

“Where’s Alice today?” Angeal asked as they walked through the street.

“Physiotherapy, which is Shinra owned. They have a playroom and are kind enough to keep her there until I can return.”

Angeal frowned a little. “What happens if you’re called away?”

He sighed. “I’m not sure yet.”

“You need to find a babysitter.”

“I know.”

Sephiroth returned to work, finished the men’s training and was halfway home when he remembered Alice.
It was ten PM when he got to the physiotherapy centre. The man supervising Alice was annoyed, forced to stay until Sephiroth appeared.

“She’s a nice girl.” The man credited him after ranting about the hour. “She cried when you left but we finally got her out the corner to play with the play dough. You should consider getting her some of that, it calmed her down.”

“Thank you, really.” He said as they walked to the waiting room, abandoned by all other children and parents.
Alice sat alone at a low table, pushing shapes into the soft coloured clay. She looked up when the footsteps approached; Sephiroth saw how nervous she was, how tightly she clenched the play dough that bubbled between her fists. “Alice.” He called.

Her worried expression melted. “Daddy!” She lifted her arms. “You gone’ded!” (You went away!)

“Went; Alice, not gone’ded.” He lifted her up. “Are you tired?” She shook her head and yawned.
Sephiroth’s humoured smile was washed away when he recalled the scene in the picture, would the more he learnt of her ordeal always sadden him whenever he looked at her?
“Thank you again.” He said. “I’ll bring her back Wednesday.”

She was asleep when they got home and as he dressed her, struggling not to wake her, he wondered where he’d keep her when he worked. He couldn’t take her to the Shinra Building again, not while Hojo was so keen.
He decided to sleep on it, and as soon as his head touched the pillow his closed eyes flew open and he was somewhere else… again.

He was back in one of his dream worlds, a warm evening day in an autumnal picnic field in the quiet Banora Village. He could hear the distant crows; the owls were beginning to awaken and the squirrels, gathering nuts for the winter, skipped across the picnic table he sat at as the crinkling of swaying trees and bushes spun their golden leaves to the green ground.
And there was Posie, walking towards him, dressed in the same outfit she’d worn the last time they’d sat at that picnic table. It was a happy time he didn’t want to remember, didn’t want to tarnish in his dreams, not when he was so angry.

“Leave.” He demanded as she sat opposite him.

He looked away from her hurt expression, the slight tremble to her lower lip. “Why?” She croaked.

“Why are you always here? Always in my head goading me on?” He growled, sat sideways to avoid looking at her. “Well, you weren’t there today.”

“…What happened?” She quietly asked.

“You’re in my head, you know.”

“…I know you were scared.”

“Where were you?” He demanded.

She shrugged. “Somewhere… I’m not sure… Somewhere else I suppose.”

He forced out a cold laugh. “Somewhere else.” He repeated.

“Sephiroth,” she quietly said, Sephiroth decided the day must have broken him more than he’d thought for him to imagine Posie sounding upset.

“DON’T Sephiroth me. You’re NOT here, if you’re not here when I need you then don’t appear at all.”

“Why did you stop looking for me?” She sniffled.

He smirked, amused that his own head could make her seem so genuinely upset. It was out of character, Posie was strong, her lips never quivered, when she got ‘sad’ she got angry, anger she’d take out on some monster he actually felt sorry for by the time she was done with it.
“Because you’re dead. I know where you are.”

“I don’t know where I am, Seph!” She began to hiccup; he laughed again, his Posie, hiccup, never! Not even when she’d been blinded had she hiccupped, screamed yes but hiccupped, no. “It’s so cold down here. I-I want to go home! …Please…”

He stood. “Enough.” He walked away, towards the distant trees, ignoring how she called for him.

“I want to see my daughter! My friends! Sephiroth!”

“If you’re cold I’ll have your body excavated and cremated.” He said, hoping it would stop his imagination. “Now, if you don’t mind, I have a long day tomorrow and a small child to raise. I need my rest.”

“Don’t leave me!”

“Call me when you want another martini.” He laughed again. He had to see the humorous side of his mind else it would send him mad and break his heart to think that Posie was somehow conscious and cold six-feet-under-ground.
NO. Posie was independent, always challenging him and capable to a fault. ‘Don’t leave me’ never would have crossed her mind, let alone left her mouth.

How he wished he’d stayed there with her! To hear her beg and whine! She was behaving more like Scarlet when he turned her advances down and that was something to laugh at – at least.

As he left the picnic field he walked straight into a nightmare, a memory he’d been batting aside all day. The memory tower of bricks had finally fallen and caught him in his sleep when he was vulnerable.

“STOP IT!” He howled; trapped on his back beneath Hojo’s grating body and drugged into weakness. His arms and legs were tied to the strong leather straps that were pulled under the bed and over the mattress to his wrists and shins. “STOP IT! PLEASE STOP IT!”

His mind panicked as the nightmare progressed but some small part of him remained conscious to reality.

‘Oh, this was the first day I went to the President’s office… nine years old… it doesn’t feel like it was that long ago.’

Posie was rolled into his side, also nine years old, sobbing and trembling. She tried to give him some comfort, her wrists bound behind her back.

He screamed the loudest scream he had in a while and Posie managed to pull her hands free. “GET OFF HIM!” She shrieked and kicked Hojo so hard he fell off the bed.

‘That’s my Posie. Fearless, brave’

Wide-eyed, his nine-year-old self watched Hojo yank her off the bed and raise his open hands.

Posie squeaked as she was slapped and backhanded, held in place by her hair, still she refused to scream, stubbornly refused to plead. Hojo finally bright his fist up and slammed it on her head, her arms, raised defensively, fell limp.

‘and unyielding.’

Suddenly Hojo was in his face, not as young as he used to be and laughing loud manic laughs. “Separated at last! She’s finally not here to protect you! HA! HA! HA! And it’s all because of my genius!”

He flew up in a cold sweat and sat for a while, holding his forehead while he tried to breathe, tried to remind himself that it was a bad dream and it was over. That Posie wasn’t upset, he was; that Hojo couldn’t harm him now he was a grown man capable of breaking his neck, and perhaps one day he would.

He heard Alice sobbing in the next room and groaned as he peeled himself from the sheets to comfort her.
But he wasn’t a fool. He knew Hojo could still harm him and he’d use others to do it. But he promised himself that he would protect Alice…

…And if there was a day he couldn’t… well… that would be the day he’d end it all.

Chapter Text

He had finally found a pre-School! A day-care, nursery, a scream-centre for monsters in training – call it what you will.

He’d discovered it through Angeal who had two dates with the one of the workers before they’d mutually decided they weren’t well-suited. Genesis had joked that it was because she was a cat-lover; but she and Angeal had remained friends, and when he discovered that she had taken over the day-care as manage, he called in a favour.

“We’d be happy to have her!” The young woman chirped, sat with Angeal in Sephiroth’s apartment. She was surprised Sephiroth had wanted to interview her first, but was intrigued when he explained that Alice was something of a special case. “Children adapt so well, I’m sure the playgroup will help her feel safe, especially once she gets used to coming to us every day.”

Sephiroth nodded, sat in his chair while she and Angeal sat on the couch. “I’m not sure how she’ll take to the other children considering her… solitary upbringing.”

She smiled. “Children aren’t animals Mr Gainsborough, spending time with other children is a need, not a probability.”

“You’re sure you and Angeal are unsuited?” Sephiroth raised a brow, easing his own awkwardness by raising theirs.

She giggled, embarrassed. “We… um… Definitely not!”

Angeal nodded, having rolled his eyes at Sephiroth’s words. “Kate and I would kill each other if we took the next step.”

“We’re too alike.”

“…So what is Sunny Care like?” He took a sip of his coffee. “Do you teach a curriculum of any sort?”

Kate smiled and Angeal offered her another one of the cookies he’d brought from his cupboard before Zack could discover and devour them all, hoping treats would help her feel at ease whilst Sephiroth drilled her.

“Thank you.” She took the last chocolate covered one. “We only have the children until age five when they join the local kindergarten. So Alice would be in the Green Room, which is for the two-to-three year olds. We teach basic skills mostly through play, also reading, art and counting, social skills too.”

Sephiroth nodded, he considered the place Sephiroth Approved! It had his gold star. “I’d like to come and look at it – tomorrow, if I may?”

“Of course, but we do close at seven.”

“I’ll make a note of it.” His brow furrowed as he thought. “Did Angeal mention Alice is receiving physiotherapy? She can barely walk.”

Kate sadly nodded. “The surgery on her feet? Angeal was very forthcoming about everything, he didn’t give me any details about the abuse but I really think we can help her, motor-skills are part of our curriculum.”

***

Sephiroth usually had lunch in a quiet corner of the Shinra cafeteria but had left to visit Sunny Care instead, taking Alice with him although he wasn’t sure whether that was customary or not.

Sunny Care had once been a large house that had since been converted into a day-care. Judging by what he’d heard it was more a pre-School, but because it was in the Slums was described as a day-care, he supposed that title helped it avoid particular taxes, not that it bothered him, the Slums were safer than the Sectors where Hojo and his goons prowled.

The concreted garden was littered with toys and surrounded by a large gate with an intercom, which surprised him considering the buildings location.

“Yes?” A voice answered when he pushed the button.

“It’s Sephiroth; I have an appointment.” He explained as Alice stared, shocked at the talking box.

“Ah! I’ll let you in!” The voice buzzed and Kate soon unlocked the front doors to hurry to the gate.
“Thank you for coming, is this Alice?”

Alice whimpered and shyly turned away when Kate reached out to her. “Yes,” Sephiroth replied, “I’d nowhere else to leave her.”

Kate nodded, her smile never fading. “It’s alright; I’ll show you both around.”

“Your security is excellent.” Sephiroth noted; his voice full of praise as Kate punched codes into the lock on the door to open it again.

She nodded. “Yes, Midgar has a multitude of… personalities,” she struggled to find the kindest word, “we pride ourselves on safety.”

The hallway was lined with low orange benches housing tiny shoes in the little cubicles underneath and miniature coats hung on colourful hooks above. “The young children leave their shoes and coats here when they arrive, so we like them to arrive with slippers or socks. They only wear their shoes if they leave the Green Room.”

Sephiroth eyed Pancake, steadily held to Alice’s mouth. “Do you allow them to bring personal items?”

Kate noticed the rabbit Alice held. “It’s not something we encourage; it’s a big responsibility to make sure nothing breaks or goes missing.” The green door on their right was open; the room was filled with light from the large windows.
“This is the Green Room,” toys were stacked in baskets and small tables were surrounded by little wooden stools, “we teach the alphabet, pre-math skills, basic shapes, colours, motor-skills, artwork, imaginative play and social skills.” There was a large blackboard on the wall with large alphabet letters written in bright yellow chalk.
“We also teach the children how to spell their own name and animal recognition… I’ll give you our brochure.” She led him through a door at the end of the room. “This is the lunchroom; the children are in there right now.”

Sephiroth clutched Alice tighter.

Tiny little people of every size and colour loudly sat at short tables digging into food and gabbling at each other as grown assistants looked on. Alice, stunned into stillness, was silent.

“Lunch time lasts an hour, we have two assistants to watch over them.”

“What do they eat?” Sephiroth asked, he had nothing against a healthy appetite so long as it was sustained by healthy food.

“We strive for them to eat two pieces of fruit, a vegetable and a sandwich.” She smiled and reached up to stroke Alice’s hair. “Does Alice have any food requirements?”

“She’s been on a liquid diet; I’ve just begun re-introducing her to solid food.”

“But no allergies?”

Sephiroth furrowed his brow, Hojo hadn’t said anything about allergies. “Not that I know of.” He looked around. “This all seems very acceptable.”

Kate smiled. “I have an office upstairs, we can talk there.”

“Daddy down!” Alice insisted, wriggling as they closed the door and re-entered the Green Room. “Down daddy!”

“She can play here while we talk, there’s no harm in it, Aerith can you watch her?” Sephiroth noticed the young girl, about fourteen years old and dressed in blue, clearing the toys into the appropriate containers and laying papers on the little tables.

“She’s young.” Sephiroth noted.

Sephiroth reluctantly set Alice down and watched her struggle to a table where play dough, cutters and stamps had been neatly placed.
“She’ll be alright.” Kate reassured him and led him to her office. “Aerith is very responsible, I know her mother; this is her work experience for the year but I’d happily take her on permanently.”

Aerith stayed in Sephiroth’s head for the rest of the day, her heart-shaped face, button nose, heart-shaped lips and large emerald eyes… Her entire face…

…Was just like Posie’s.

***

“So, what did you think?” Angeal asked him when he returned to work; Alice sat at the table on the SOLDIER floor and Sephiroth sat opposite her, examining the entrance form. “Any good?”

“It’s excellent.”

Angeal grinned. “I said it was.”

“There is one problem though.”

“I knew you’d find something wrong with it.”

“Aerith works there.”

Angeal said nothing for a moment, trying to fathom the words. “Aerith?” He finally repeated. “Posie’s Aerith?”

Sephiroth nodded.

“Is that really so terrible?”

“Yes.” He snapped. “For work experience.” He unhappily added.

Angeal sat opposite him and tapped the entrance form. “You can’t afford to keep bringing Alice here or afford to leave her anywhere else. And work experience isn’t permanent.”

“Kate says she’d happily make it permanent.”

Angeal grunted in acknowledgement. “You know, Alice is going to have questions as she grows up, Aerith too. They’re going to find out the truth eventually.”

Sephiroth reluctantly lifted his pen and signed the form. “…I know.”

Chapter Text

"What' day care?" Alice asked Sephiroth as he carried her through the street early the next morning. She had awoken at six AM, been dressed and told she would have a wonderful day… or else.

"You went there three days ago, remember?" He replied.

“P’ay doh’ house?” (Play dough house?) She chirped, Sephiroth smirked and nodded, relieved when Alice joyfully squealed as Sunny Care came into view and tried to squirm out of his arms.
The gates opened and he set her down on the ground, softened with construction sand. “Wait here.” He ordered and walked to the building steps where Kate stood, watching over the other children as they hurried about.

"Is Alice okay today?" Kate asked, watching Alice manage to climb atop the slide on her knees.

"So far." Sephiroth watched Alice nervously grip the slide sides. He was surprised when a small boy befriended her, promising her the slide was fun.

“I know she’ll be alright.” Kate said. “I’ll make sure the other children understand her condition. You and I discussed the wheelchair, have you made a decision?”

“So long as she’s able to move freely I think it would be good for her to use it, at least until she’s strong enough to walk by herself.”

“Has she managed any steps lately?”

“More than she should. She’s eager, can stand by herself now, she managed twelve steps today.” He watched her slide down the slide and then crawl back up the ladder.

“She’s certainly getting stronger. We’ll try her in the wheelchair for half days.”

Sephiroth nodded. “You said it’s alright if I pick her up at seven?”

“Well, as I said, the latest pick-up time is at five, the building officially closes at seven after cleaning… we can make a small exception but you really should try to pick her up as close to five as you can. Call me if you know you’re going to be late.”

“Daddy!” Alice called, sat at the top of the slide with her newest friend.

“Alright,” Sephiroth agreed and approached the slide to stand beside Alice.

Alice gaped for a while, the slide had seemed so high yet her father towered over it. “See me go s’ide?" (Did you see me go down the slide?) She excitedly tugged his coat then yelped and grabbed the edge of the slide, worried she’d slip.

"Yes, I have to go now." He patted her head and walked away.

"Daddy!" She shrieked; slid down the slid and struggled to stand so she could hobble to him. She latched onto his leg, her big green eyes teary.
“You know you’re not supposed to be walking.” He scolded as she began crying.

"I suggest you go." Kate explained. "Most of the children do this their first few days but she’ll be fine in a while."

Sephiroth prised Alice off him and handed her to Kate as he hurriedly left, trying to ignore the stares of other parents as Alice’s howled.

***

“No Alice today?” Genesis always seemed to be lurking in the Shinra Building’s corridors.

Sephiroth shook his head. “The day care Angeal suggested was perfectly suitable.”

Angeal, stood opposite Genesis, nodded in appreciation. “How was Alice?”

“She was fine at first but was suddenly unhappy to be left there.”

“She’ll get over it.” Genesis waved as he walked down the hall. “Now, shall we get to work?”

Sephiroth was relieved not to have Alice perched on his arm like a parrot humming and babbling. It had made him realise just how sorry he should have felt for Angeal when Zack, too young to be a SOLDIER but having passed every test, was put under his care overnight.

“Have you made Alice provisions for times when you’re dispatched?” Angeal questioned.

“No. The day care has no overnight allowances, not even for SOLDIER’s.”

“You really must get that sorted.” Genesis mentioned.

1st Class SOLDIER’s had the most important and dangerous jobs that took them far and wide.
Although that day’s itinerary was nothing special Lazard warned all three of them that something big was coming and they should prepare inexperienced SOLDIER’s for the worst.

So Sephiroth spent his day training the 2nd Class SOLDIER’s, they were divided into two species of being, he decided as he berated the egotistical big-headed know-it-all idiots who wanted to become him and struggled to encourage the men who had joined the program because they’d no self-confidence at all… though most were so star struck Sephiroth was sure they’d not heard a thing he said.

At-quarter-to-five he remembered Alice. “You have a half-hour recess!”

Most of the men collapsed and took deep breaths into their sore lungs. They’d not stopped training since morning and although they’d been warned that the SOLDIER 2nd Class training sessions were brutal they’d not expected it to be QUITE so exhausting!

…And Sephiroth hadn’t even broken a sweat…

Shirtless he swung his leather coat, wondering what he’d do with Alice when he collected her. The mens training was proving longer than he’d thought it would take and it would be several hours until he could go home.

“It’s Sephiroth,” he reluctantly spoke into Sunny Care’s intercom, “I’m here to collect Alice.”

“Come in!” A happy voice chirped and buzzed him in.

He smiled when he saw Alice through the window sat at a table with a gaggle of children. She looked happy, lively even. As soon as she saw him she put her hands on the glass and pressed her face against it. Sephiroth tapped at her nose, separated only by glass as he stood at the door, waiting to be buzzed inside.

"Daddy!" Alice called as soon as Sephiroth hovered in the Green Room’s doorway.
The wheelchair Alice had been introduced to was discarded as she struggled to scuttle to him on her feet.
She hugged his leg and Sephiroth patted her head. "I p’ayed a game!" (I played a game!)

“Good."

Kate turned from the other parents and walked to Alice. “Alice, can you go put your coat on? Just like we practised?”
Pouting, Alice shook her head.
“Then how will you show your daddy what a big girl you are?”

The words made Sephiroth feel conspicuous and perhaps a little embarrassed, he wasn’t used to be referred to in such a way, he would rather stand in a room of star struck stuttering 3rd Classes than before a smiling… nursery maid, he supposed…

“Go on.” He encouraged her, recognising Kate’s body-language. She obviously had something to say to him.

Kate spoke as soon as Alice anxiously disappeared into the hall.
"She's been very good but we did have a few problems today, she is very behind in her years, for example, when reciting the alphabet she… knows nothing of it, which is very strange. She was very distressed when she realised she didn’t understand it, we had to put her in the quiet room to calm down so she wouldn’t frighten the other children. Not alone!” She exclaimed when she saw his expression change to a mixture of worry and building anger. “Aerith was with her. But we’re worried because some of the children suffer from night terrors, and she kept talking about someone who was going to lock her away."

“She went through a lot before she came into my care.”

"Her language skills are a little strange as well. She leaves out quite a few words and often asks people what they are instead of who they are. She doesn't know animal names or sounds either. At this age it is a little worrying. Wetting herself is another matter, children over two years usually have some bladder control."

"She has suffered neglect."

She smiled. "I’m telling you because these are all things for us here at Sunny Care, and you, as her father, to work on together. We can teach her how to recite the alphabet, count to five and tell her what a Chocobo is, but it’s your influence in her daily life that will make her remember those things.”

Sephiroth raised a brow, baffled. “What can I do?

“Well, you can sing the alphabet song with her, write her name and help her fill in the letters you miss out… count how many shoes you’re helping her put on! And wildlife may be scarce in Midgar but it’s easy to point out dogs and cats when you pass them and ask her repeat the noises they make.”

Sephiroth blinked… he didn’t even know there was such a thing as an alphabet song!

“Okay that's everything. You're free to take her now. Alice! Are you done?" She called.

They found Alice sat on the small bench in the hall, her big red boots were back-to-front and she had one arm in her upside-down coat.

Sephiroth sighed and Kate laid a hand on his arm. “One step at a time.” She returned to the Green Room.

Alice looked up at Sephiroth, eyes wide and disappointed. "Ou' do it." (You do it.)

Sephiroth rolled his eyes and gruffly adjusted her coat. “You know what way your boots go on.” He accused. “You may have had surgery but are your toes attached to your heels?”
Alice said nothing. “Are they?”

“Wan’ Pancake…” She whined.

“Pancake’s at home. Now, come along.” He lifted her onto his arm.

“Come back ‘morrow?” She asked.

“Yes, but right now we’re going to work.”

"Dwaw pic'ure ‘or 'ou 'day!" (I drew a picture for you today!) She squealed and reached into the plastic yellow Chocobo handbag draped on her arm.

"Show me when we get home, also, Dwaw, pic'ure, and 'ou, are NOT proper words." Alice gazed at him, confused. "Say the sentence again."

"Don' wans' to." (I don’t want to.) She moaned.

"And that sentence should be 'I don't want to.'"

Alice ignored him. "I pway wif' p’ay-doh 'day. I' were lo's o' colour." (I played with play-dough today. It was a lot of colours.)

Sephiroth sighed; correcting her would be a challenge for another day. "Did you really?"

She nodded. "Yes! An' sing!" (Yes! And I sang!)

"Interesting…" Sephiroth mumbled as she clapped her hands and babbled the words of the song, incorrectly he was certain… had he understood what she was saying.

"Have’d o’wan-geee dwingk an babple!" (I had an orange drink and an apple!)

'She can't even say apple...' Sephiroth despaired. "Really…?"

"’n I ha’ go sweep! Waked up‘n watchied Sou’swee! I' were funnsy!" (And I had to go to sleep! I woke up and watched Sooty and Sweep! It was funny!) She laughed making Sephiroth smile a little, it surprised him.
"I tewl uncwle Angel 'n uncwle Zack, auntie Gen'sis 'bout 'day! N' auntie Cissnei!" (I’ll tell Uncle Angeal and Uncle Zack, Uncle Genesis about today! And Auntie Cissnei!)

"Cissnei's still on her mission."

"Oh... have baf 'nigh’?" (Am I going to have a bath tonight?) She asked.

“You have a bath every night. And you're not to get the floor wet again."

He took her to the Shinra Building with him, yes it was against protocol but where was the fun in being Sephiroth if he couldn’t pull a few strings?

“Attention men!” He strutted into the training room, trying to ignore their stares as they assembled and he carried Alice in, ignoring the SOLDIER’s questioning gasps, laughs and the occasional surprising ‘aw!’ as he left Alice in a corner. “Stay!” He harshly whispered to her as he turned back to his troops.

“Um…!” One the younger SOLDIER’s raised a hand. “Is that your daughter sir?”

Sephiroth looked at Alice and then back at the SOLDIER. “No, that is a chimp in training.” The poor SOLDIER looked baffled whilst the others laughed. Now, I believe we were perfecting battle stance four.” He removed his coat again.

Alice had been as quiet as a mouse while he worked, watching wide-eyed and interested as the men practised formations and attacks.

“Well done.” He said as they finished for the night. Yes, night, what should have finished at seven PM had ended at nine, Sephiroth was already mentally writing his complaint to the army barracks; why would you promote men to SOLDIER when you’ve obviously skipped their basic military training? It’s ignorance such as yours that gets men killed. “That finishes tonight’s training. Don’t forget; a strong battle-stance strengthens the outcome of the fight.”

“Thank you Sir!” They called – wheezed – in unison.

“T’ank ‘ou sir!” Alice chirped from her corner, causing several snickers to erupt and sweat finally formed on Sephiroth’s brow.

“Dismissed!” He hoped his cheeks weren’t red.

It was not unusual for SOLDIER’s to approach with questions after training, ‘how can I improve my stance?’ ‘Will weight-lifting improve my strength?’ ‘Which foot should I put forth when I land an attack?’ But questions such as these he was unused to…

“So when did… that happen?” The SOLDIER pointed at Alice, still sat in her corner.

“Does she have a name?”

“Will she be coming here regularly? Is that even allowed?”

“My twins are about her age!”

“So your kids are different from other kids… right?”

Sephiroth only answered one question, the question asked in disgust. “Whatever came over you?”

“I accidentally created a small irritating creature during a moment of desperate need. Now, I must go.” He lifted Alice out of her corner and left.

He was quite proud of her actually – when his embarrassment had passed and they were almost home. Proud enough, and hungry enough, to stop off at one of Sector 7’s diners.

“Where we?” (Where are we?) She asked as he sat her at a table.

“A diner. I think you deserve a treat.” He sat opposite her. “You behaved very well.” She was also very talkative that day; Sephiroth decided it must be the influence of the other children.

Alice smiled. “I’ a good girl?”

“Yes. Now, what would you like? Let me guess…” He mused.

“Pancakes!”

What were the odds they were out of pancakes until the chef returned in the morning? “I’ll bring you something better!” The waitress promised.

“Don’t give her much.” Sephiroth replied.

She returned with a small bowl, a scoop of rainbow coloured ice cream in the centre.

Alice frowned curiously at the melting desert. Sephiroth had hoped for something a little more substantial than ice cream and a wafer but watched curiously as Alice warily looked at the ice cream as if it would sprout eyes and look right back at her.
“Eat it before it melts.” He prompted.

Alice lifted her spoon, took a big scoop and put it in her mouth. For the first time in a long time Sephiroth almost roared with laughter when she scrunched up her face and shook her head, lifting her hands to shake away the brain-freeze, gasping she swallowed it and scowled at him. “Cold!”

“It’s supposed to be.” He laughed.

Sephiroth was sure that more ice cream was on Alice’s face then in her stomach. She had a rainbow of sticky colours around her mouth, on her nose, in her hair and he’d seen it drip onto her shirt, currently hidden beneath her green and red coat.
Alice was buzzing! Practically trembling with adrenaline and chatting his ear off. He’d never seen a child experience a sugar rush before…

“Your neighbours will complain.” Genesis grumbled when he passed him on the stairs, both tired from a long day while Alice chirped and squealed words no-one could make sense of.

“You’re the only one who complains.” He replied.

“Auntie Gen’sis!” Alice squealed.

Sephiroth gripped her tighter and bounced her a little. “Quiet!” He barked.

“Down!”

“No.” He put his key card in the door.

“DOWN!”

“Be quiet!” He punched the numbers into the pad. “Alice!” She wriggled out of his grasp, struggled to stand and actually ran. Her legs wobbled, lacking directing and coordination she neared the staircase and was pulled back.

“OW!" She fell into Genesis' leg; his hand tightly gripped her arm.

"So sorry." Genesis apologised and pulled her to her feet. "Couldn't keep up with her Sephiroth? You must be getting old."

“You try chasing after a toddler. You either tip-toe at a snail’s pace or run so fast you trip over the shrieking thing.”

They entered into his apartment, Alice shrieked each time she was picked off the floor. “I do it! DOWN! I DO IT!” She screamed.

“Is she allowed to walk on her own?” Genesis asked as Sephiroth forced Alice on the sofa and frowned when she pushed herself off so she could attempt to run around it.

“Under close observation and we haven’t worked on running yet.”

“If you can call that running… She’s more akin to a drunken calf… have you ever seen a cow run? It’s the most hilarious thing.”

Sephiroth sighed. “Why are you here, Genesis?”

“You don’t remember? Angeal made plans for tonight. You forgot?”

“I was busy!”

“Another couple’s argument?” Angeal jested, stood in the doorway. “You two fight worse than his parents.” He pointed at Genesis.

"See pic'ure now?" (Will you see my picture now?) Alice stumbled to a stop and held up her bag.

“Fine.” Sephiroth snapped and took the bag and popped the button open to slide the coloured paper out.
He scrutinized the stick figures for several moments before realizing it was himself, Zack and Alice sat at a table. She was in her old green dress eating pancakes for the first time and had a big smile on her face. He was relieved to see it was a happier picture than the one she had drawn before and supposed she had been feeling so happy the day after she’d been rescued, albeit a little shell-shocked, that she’d remembered the event. He truly thought she wouldn’t remember it at all. “It’s good.” He told her. “Now sit down and take off your boots.” He sternly added.

She lifted her arms. “Up.”

He lifted her onto the sofa and watched her struggle to lift her legs so she could reach her orange rubber boots.

“She’s running today?” Angeal set cans and snacks on the table.

“She’s not supposed to be.”

“What does she have around her mouth?” Genesis asked.

Sephiroth shrugged, “she had ice cream,” then stiffened as he awaited everyone’s input.

“Ice cream?” Genesis began.

“I’m shocked!” Angeal laughed. “That you would actually allow her to enjoy something like that?”

“It wasn’t my first choice, but the diner was out of… pancakes…” He resented the words coming out of his mouth.

“Wow, a diner.” Angeal smiled.

“That explains the hyperactivity.” Genesis looked at Alice as she sang in odd syllables.

“And where is Zack?” Hyperactivity reminded Sephiroth of the missing youth. “Don’t tell me he’s about to give us some peace?” He removed Alice’s other boot and placed them on the shoe rack by the front door, his thigh-high boots towered beside hers.

“He’ll be over later; he bought Alice something and wants to surprise her with it.” Angeal replied.

“Hmph!” Sephiroth scowled as he took Alice’s coat. “She has enough toys.”

Angeal shrugged. “Let him indulge her! I’m sure she’ll play with it.”

Sephiroth continued to frown down at Alice, her sticky face, hands and hair. “She needs a bath.”

“Then you’d better hurry.” Genesis said. “It will start soon.”

“What sport are we watching again?” Sephiroth asked.

“Are you serious?” Angeal sighed. “We’re watching the only sport you like.” Sephiroth wasn’t a fan of sport, but ice hockey had always fascinated him.
Sephiroth smiled; ice hockey it was. “Did you really forget the Winter Olympics had begun this week?”

“I’ve been busy.” He motioned to Alice.

There were three loud kicks on the door that made Alice whimper. “Let me in!”

“It’s just Zack.” Angeal reassured her and opened the door. “Don’t kick the door down Zack.”

Zack wandered in, his arms carried a massive gift wrapped in sparkly lilac paper and a silver bow, even his head was hidden behind it. “I couldn’t knock with anything else!”

“’dat ‘dat?” (What’s that?) Alice slid off the sofa to point and gape at the shining present.

Angeal smiled. “A little something for you.”

Sephiroth folded his arms. “It’s not little.”

Alice batted Angeal’s supporting hands away from her underarms as she struggled to stand, both excited and timid as Zack set the present down and encouraged her to pull on the ribbon and paper, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

“Oh!” Alice exclaimed, surprised as a large box was revealed beneath the paper, a picture of a large bright blue oven, designed like something from the sixties, was printed on the front, promising to light up and make all sorts of interesting sounds.”Wha i’ it?”

“She has plenty of toys.” Sephiroth growled, noticing the plastic pots, pans, plates, cutlery and food that came with it.

“It’s harmless.” Angeal sternly replied, lifting a brow expectantly. “And maybe even beneficial for a child who has an obsession with food.”

“Thank you Zack…” He reluctantly said. “Alice, say thank you. Zack! Don’t leave the paper on the floor!”

Alice was bouncing, though really she was just bending her knees, her feet never left the floor. “T’ank ‘ou Zack!” (Thank you Zack!) He stooped to hug her. “Don’ ‘eave pepper on f’oor.” (Don’t leave the paper on the floor.) She mumbled.

Sephiroth couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Whatever happened to Uncle?” Zack noted the dropped honorific.

“You’re too young to be called Uncle.” Genesis turned a page of his book.

“Aunty Gen’sis!” Alice chirped. Genesis slammed his book shut as Zack laughed. “Look!” She pointed at the box.
Genesis nodded his acknowledgement of it.
“Wha’ i’ it?”

“Bath time.” Sephiroth announced.

“No kidding,” Zack clogged his nostrils and looked at Sephiroth, “you stink.”

Sephiroth frowned. “I had a stressful training lesson with the Seconds today.”

“I heard you took Alice with you?” Genesis sulked. “Which you know is not allowed.”

“She behaved.” Sephiroth guided her away from the massive box that kept her mesmerized. “You can look at that tomorrow.” He told her.

He quickly ran a bath and experimentally moved his leather coat aside to sniff at his chest… He was sure the smell made his hair curl!
“Get undressed.” He said as he removed his gloves to check the temperature of the water and then removed his coat.

“Can’ do i’…” (I can’t do it…) She moaned, lifting her arms. She looked tired, and he noticed her legs beginning to tremble with exertion as he slid the tubular bandages off her feet. The stitching had been removed last week, her scabs had healed; the problem remained beneath the skin, where torn weakened muscle was healing.

He looked away as he undressed her and only looked at her properly when she was chest deep in bubbles.
He took her basket of rubber ducks off the shelf and tipped them into the bath, and then made a very brave decision, something he never thought he'd do.

"Daddy…?" Alice watched him leave the room. "Wha' doing'?" (What are you doing?)

"You're having a bath… I'm having a shower." He returned with a towel wrapped around his waist. Alice placed her small hands over her mouth, unable to stop giggling.

He climbed into the shower, shut the cloudy glass door and swung the towel over the top.

Alice spun around in the bath, singing one of her new learned songs to herself.

"Do NOT get that floor wet!" Sephiroth barked.

Alice looked down at the drenched floor. Even the bath-mat floated in a puddle. "Oh dear…" She squeaked the words Kate said whenever something unfortunate occurred.

Sephiroth’s shower ended and he stepped out, the towel around his waist again. He put one foot on the floor that skidded skid into a forward split and his mouth opened in a silent scream as his balls collided with the shower rim!

Alice laughed as he grit his teeth and groaned, his hands between his legs, not realising that the towel had dropped when he had.

"Hey! Sephiroth! What’s keeping you?" Zack walked into the bathroom. "Whoa!" He covered his eyes. "That made ME cringe!"

The pain dwindled; Sephiroth opened his eyes and grabbed the towel to cover himself, Sephiroth glared and walked passed Zack to get to his bedroom. He returned dressed in grey socks and black cotton trousers. "Out." He ordered Alice, who was still in the bath. She sleepily shook her head.
"If you don't get out now I'll pull the plug out." He threatened.

Alice crawled to the other end of the bath and sat on the plug.
"Getting cheeky isn't she." Angeal said from the doorway.

"Too much time with Zack..." He grumbled.

"Daddy! Ou' can' do p’ug I’ when I' in boof'!" (Daddy! You can’t pull the plug out while I’m in the bath!) Alice shook her head. "I' fall down’d'!" (I’ll fall down it!)

"You're not that skinny." Sephiroth grabbed the chain to the plug and pulled it out from under her.
She crossed her arms and pouted a glare up at him.

"She's mastered your expressions."

Sephiroth grabbed a wet flannel and wiped the remaining ice cream off her face. "I WAS in a good mood but SOMEONE got the floor wet." He wrapped her in a towel and pulled her out the bath.

"Not me!" She shouted as she was dried. "Were… Wup’wup!" (It was syrup!) She pointed at the yellow duck on the side of the bath.

Sephiroth frowned. "Then I'll have to take… 'Wup… wup'… away."

"No!"

Angeal watched in quiet surprise, Sephiroth had adapted to his role better than he claimed to.

Sephiroth carried Alice to her room and hastily dressed her for bed. He took the tubular bandages from their packaging in the first aid kit (kept in the kitchen) and slid them onto her feet.

“NO!” She fussed.

“Yes,” he forced them on, “don’t take them off again!”

She whimpered small cries. “Don ‘ike i’…” (I don’t like it…)

“Well get used to it.” He pulled the covers over her.

Genesis smirked as he heard the banter. “What? No story?” He called.

“Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess, and she lived to be a queen, the end." He mumbled. “Goodnight.”

Chapter Text

Alice sat in Sunny Care’s window, waiting for Sephiroth. All the other children had gone home and left her with the cleaning crew. She saw someone hurry up the steps but was unable to see who it was.

“I’m so sorry it’s so late!” She heard a familiar voice in the hallway. “Sephiroth couldn’t get away, he sent me instead.”

“We need some reassurance of that.” Kate insisted.

“He gave me a note to give you; you can call him if you need to.”

Alice got out of the wheelchair and wandered to the hallway. “Are you sure he won’t mind if I call?”

“He gives his permission.”

“Then I’ll be right back.”

Alice’s eyes lit up. “Aunty ‘nei nei’!”

Cissnei turned her head. “Alice! Look how big you’ve gotten!”
Alice blushed and was scooped into a hug. “Did you miss me?”
She nodded.
“I missed you too.” She said as Kate wandered to her office. “What did you do today?”

“Nap.”

“You had a nap?”

“It’s fine,” Kate returned, “you can take her. But we really can’t stay open this late again.”

Cissnei nodded. “I know, I’m sorry.”

Alice looked shocked. “’ou were bad?” (You were bad?)

Cissnei shook her head. “I was late.” She explained.

“Oh dear…”

“Oh dear.” Cissnei repeated as they left. “I brought your stroller with me.” She bent to put Alice in the seat.

“No!” Alice clutched Cissnei tighter.

“You have to sit in it or we can’t go home!” She wrestled Alice into the seat, buckled her in and steered her home. “What else did you do today? Pancake’s waiting for you.”

“Wan’ tell Pancake ‘bou s’ide.” (I want to tell Pancake about the slide.) She yawned.

“Really? What are you going to tell him about it? …Alice?” She peered over the handles. Alice was asleep, but it was past nine, she was bound to be tired. “I AM good!” She praised herself. “Who says kids don’t sleep?”

Cissnei took Alice home, got her ready for bed and marvelled at the giant box of plastic oven pieces, planning to put it together before Sephiroth got home.

…That didn’t happen.

“Cissnei?” Sephiroth opened the front door. It was ten-past midnight; earlier than he thought he’d be home. He decided he definitely owed Cissnei a favour in the future… until he saw her sat on the floor, watching Titanic; the coffee table had been pushed aside to make room for plastic pieces of oven and heaps of cardboard cast aside.

Cissnei’s eyes were red with exhaustion and rage. “WHY are the instructions in SPANISH?”

“Ask Zack.” He frowned at the mess. “Why are you doing this now?”

“Oh, I’m not doing this now. I was doing this THREE HOURS AGO!” She would have yelled had Alice not been sleeping in the next room. “The box said this was easy and fun to put together!”

He smirked. “Let me take a look at it.”

“You?”

“Men are better at reading instructions.” He smugly stated. Cissnei raised her brows. “It’s a scientific fact.”

“Decided by a man I bet!”

“Just move.” He sat in her spot and she moved to the sofa, passing sheets of paper to him. “No, no,” he brushed her hand aside, “I don’t need the instructions.”

***

The toy cooker was from hell and designed by the devil! Sephiroth decided in the early hours of the morning.

“Do you give up yet?” Cissnei asked as the closing credits of Titanic rolled on the television screen.

“No.” He angrily replied as his alarm clock sounded in his room. “Go turn that off would you?”

Cissnei moved her tired body to his bedroom. “What are you gonna do with Alice today?”

“What do you mean?” He glared at the oddly shaped oven door and wondered how it was supposed to fit to the rest of the contraption.

“It’s Saturday,” she continued when he looked confused, “the day care is closed on weekends. You didn’t know?”

“Tell me this is a bad dream.”

“How could you seriously not know?” She sat back on the sofa but knew she’d have to leave for work soon.

“I had other things to worry about.”

“Like what?”

Perhaps he told her because he was tired? Or because he knew she’d find out eventually. “Aerith’s work experience is at Sunny Care. She’s an assistant.”

“Posie’s Aerith?”
He nodded.
“Tseng will probably tell me about that today, now I’m a fully-fledged Turk...but that’s not good, is it?”

“It’s not.” He replied and began examining the oven door again. “But it is what it is.”

“What if she finds out who Alice is?”

“She won’t.”

“She’s special Sephiroth, they both are. They’ll know something’s up.”

“Then I trust you’ll make sure that doesn’t happen.”

Cissnei ran her fingers through her hair and walked to the kitchen to put the coffee on. “It won’t be easy; Alice has the same surname as Aerith. Even their first names sound alike.”

“Gainsborough is a common name.”

“I guess…” She returned from the kitchen. “Hey, didn’t Posie have an oven like this one when I was little?”

Sephiroth shook his head. “No, it was mine, well, we shared it. We used to put your teddies inside to make you cry.”

Cissnei frowned. “That’s right you did! You said you were making teddy bear pie!”

He chuckled. “Posie used to sit you down and tell you to say goodbye to teddy.”

“I miss her.” Cissnei tearfully said. “Posie, not the teddy. She really looked after me when I was growing up.”

“She would have been proud of you.”

“No she wouldn’t, she’d be devastated that I never made it out of Shinra.”

“True.” He agreed and finally threw the oven door down. “I heard your mission was an automatic success.”

Cissnei’s eyes watered faster. “…My partner…”

“I’m sorry, I heard about it this morning.” He stopped rummaging through the large amount of screws. “However, you’re more mature now than you were before you left.”

She shrugged. “Just sad I guess. Sephiroth, I don’t know how to face everyone… not after this…”

About to reply, Sephiroth was surprised when his phone rang. “No one ever calls this early,” he complained as he pulled it off the coffee table and flipped it open, “or this late, depending on the message.”

Cissnei wiped her eyes and busied herself with the cooker. “Really?” She heard Sephiroth exclaim. “Well of course it’s Hojo’s fault. It’s fine by me; I suppose I’ll see you soon.” He hung up and turned to Cissnei. “The Shinra Building’s on lockdown for forty-eight hours.”

“What? Why?”

“Hojo released something deadly from the science department last night, everyone’s being vaccinated and it will take a while for the air to clear.”

Cissnei sighed. “I’m glad… and I’m going to bed.”

“Goodbye.”

“Your bed.” He frowned at her. “I’ll be wide awake by the time I get home, might as well sleep now.”

Sephiroth groaned down at the oven and decided he’d need coffee before throwing the whole thing out the window.

Alice awoke hours later. She crawled out of bed, scuffled across the floor and wobbled in the doorway. She stared at Sephiroth, sat on the sofa drinking coffee and watching the morning news. “Good morning Alice.” He greeted.
Alice slowly blinked and looked around, her hair stuck out at every odd angle. “You must have been tired; you slept in your own bed all night… typical I wasn’t sleeping in mine…” He grumbled and rubbed the dark circles beneath his eyes. “Let’s try giving you scrambled egg again.” He walked to the kitchen and smiled when he heard a squeal of delight, the assembled oven had been noticed and appreciated as Alice pressed the sound effect buttons and pulled the plastic saucepans from the boxes.

***
Sephiroth had almost forgotten that Alice’s physiotherapy session had been moved to that morning so it was a rush to get her dressed and out the door but he was happy he had.

“She’s walking on her own a lot!” The specialist exclaimed when he saw Alice wrestle away from Sephiroth so she could walk into the room by herself.

“Should she be?”

“She doesn’t seem to be in any pain.” He said, and after examining her legs and feet concluded. “It shouldn’t do any harm, she’s obviously ready to start regaining her strength, just don’t let her do too much. Exhaustion could send her right back to where we began.”

The session was only an hour, and when he returned Cissnei was up and obviously planning something.

“The park?” Sephiroth repeated as he scrutinized Cissnei.

“Of course! We don’t know when you’ll get another chance to take her.”

“It’s going to rain.” He protested.

“So? There’ll be lots of puddles to jump in!” She chirped, but Sephiroth could tell she’d been crying.

***

The park was a wonderful place! And almost empty save for a few small children on the swings or travelling down the slide. They giggled as they jolted atop the seesaw and gaped at the lofty climbing frame.
"Enjoy." Sephiroth let go of Alice’s hand. He stood beside the park bench, arms folded, tall and imposing.
Cissnei shook her head at him and bent down to Alice’s level. “Be nice to the other children and don't step in front of the swings or you'll get hurt." She pointed out the swings so Alice knew what they were.
Alice nervously looked to Sephiroth. “Go.” He demanded and sighed when she reached for his hand. “You can go by yourself.” He shook her hand from his and watched her timidly walk away; looking over her shoulder to make sure he was still there.
Cissnei smiled as two girls hurried to Alice and she shyly introduced them to Pancake whilst hiding her face behind his deflated body. “She’ll be alright.” She reassured herself.
"I know." He gruffly pulled his blue hood further over his head to shadow his face as a mother pointed him out to her friend.
“How about we take her to the museum later? The sign we passed said they have a fun-house, and then we can all go for lunch.” Cissnei noticed Sephiroth leering forth, watching Alice like a hawk. "You don’t have to worry about the children she plays with, Sephiroth; it's the creepy adults you have to worry about."

"I know! And I'm not concerned."

"Then why are you looking at her like that?"

"…I don't like children." Liar, his conscience accused.

"But she's such a sweet little girl."

Sephiroth watched Alice struggle to keep up with the other children, as they hurried about she stubbornly stood on wobbly legs and panted for breath. Regardless of what the specialist had said that morning her sudden bursts of energy worried him.

“There you are!”

Sephiroth heard the call and turned to the gate Angeal opened. “How did you know where I was?” He barked.

“I knew it was a good idea to track your phone,” he smirked, “you weren’t home and Zack needed his daily walk.” He pointed his thumb at Zack who bounded beside him.

“You tracked Sephiroth’s phone? Are you actually allowed to do that?” Zack looked to the swings where Alice had seated Pancake and was trying to push him. “That’s kinda cute."

“Zack!” She squealed and hurried to him, gasped to a stop when she remembered Pancake and turned back to pull him from the swing, then hurried to Zack again, squealing louder when he scooped her up. “Missed you!” She complained.

Angeal frowned. “What about me?”

“Why doesn’t Angeal get a hug?” Cissnei questioned.

Alice frowned. “…he’ not Zack…” (Because he’s not Zack.) She declared.

“You should put her in dresses more often.” Zack advised. “Girls always look cuter in pink."

Angeal groaned and shook his head, every relationship Zack had always ended with a woman trying to impress him in pink.

Alice wriggled out of Zack’s arms and pulled on Sephiroth’s coat, “daddy, help tha’ now!" (Daddy, help me on that now!) She pulled him to the rainbow monkey bars.

“I think he’s doing better." Zack sat next to Cissnei and spread his arms over the back of the bench.

“He doesn't like having much contact with her." Cissnei explained. "He never likes her hugging him or holding his hand… I wonder what would happen if she tried to kiss him?"

“Sephiroth has never liked touch." Angeal explained. “When he was a child and went to Banora for his vacation he hated my mother’s hugs." He started laughing. “He first went to Banora when he was three. He’d walk with his hands in his pockets so no one could hold his hand, and when he had no pockets he'd to put them down his pants, and when my mother tried to kiss him he'd go stiff as a corpse."

"Just move your hand to the next bar!" Sephiroth bellowed as Alice screamed, hanging from the monkey bars until he lifted her down.

"Having fun?" Zack teased Sephiroth when he returned.

"Answer me this; why do children insist on so much attention?"

Cissnei sighed. "You should consider yourself lucky; you could have a daughter like her." She pointed to a small girl laid before her father screaming as she thrashed her arms and kicked her legs.

“What that girl needs is a good beating."

“Is that what you'd do to Alice?" Angeal asked.

Sephiroth nodded. "What now?" He growled, venomously as Alice pulled on his coat.

“Help on tha’." (Help me on that.) She pointed to the swings.

“Cissnei will help you." He told her but kept his angry eyes on Cissnei.

“Thanks for letting me know." She grumbled, took Alice’s hand and walked to the swings.

“I suppose Genesis is on his way too?" Sephiroth grumbled. "We all seem inseparable these days."

“He’s catching up on his reading, he refused to come at first but when Cissnei mentioned lunch he changed his mind, he’ll join us soon." Angeal replied.

“How nice to have been given a choice." Sephiroth scowled.

"What do you mean?” Zack pondered. “Alice is a great kid and it’s Cissnei doing all the work."

The first drops of rain fell from the grey sky, Sephiroth almost smiled. “I suppose playtime is over for today.”

“We’ll go to the funhouse now!” He heard Cissnei tell Alice and shuddered.

“I never agreed to that!” He called as the rain became heavier and park was abandoned.

Cissnei shrugged and sat Alice in the stroller. “It’s free.” She concluded, as if her words explained everything, and then pushed the stroller towards the gate.

***

The Midgar Museum had a large room that had become a giant play area, the ceiling was high and lined with a web of ropes older children scurried along to reach slides and foam-padded obstacles, but Alice had been led to a much smaller section lined with colourful padded walls, soft toys, a bouncy-castle shaped like a unicorn and there was a long tunnel sculpted into the wall, painted blue, covered with painted fish and green papier-mâché seaweed. It had round submarine windows with bubbles and fish painted on them.
In the corner of the room was a large boot-shaped funhouse, a hole was in the end of the boot and a bright red slide emerged from it.

Alice reached out for Sephiroth. Angeal put his hand on Sephiroth’s shoulder. “Off you go dad! Good luck.”

Sephiroth looked over his shoulder and glared at Angeal until Alice dumped in his arms.
“Go play!” Zack shooed them away.

“You had better be grateful for this.” Sephiroth growled in Alice’s ear as he carried her to the funhouse, slipped his and her boots off and onto the padded mat and walked inside.

When he put her down she clutched his leg and refused to move, but after several minutes of trembling, she pointed to the large boot-shaped funhouse, babbled something unintelligible and pulled him along, he tried not to trip over her as she led him through a doorway, he wacked his head on the thickly rolled foam strapped to the top and, his socks slippery, skid on a plastic ball, fell off the raised flooring and straight into a ball-pool!

Sephiroth’s eye twitched as the humiliation built, Alice giggled and threw a stray ball at him, she laughed louder when it bounced off his head and threw another and somehow summoned every hyperactive child to pelt him from all directions!

Perhaps things would not have been so embarrassing had he not looked up and seen Angeal stood on the platform above him, an old video-recorder in his hands and a smile on his face, Cissnei and Zack stood laughing on either side of him.

‘Surely it can’t get any worse than this.’ He dared to think.

“Ripples form on the water’s surface,” a poetic voice began, “the wandering soul knows no rest.”

‘Oh no.’

“Enjoying yourself Sephiroth?” Genesis slyly smirked.

Sephiroth winced as Alice tumbled down the short green slide behind him and kicked his back.
“OW!” She screeched and held her foot, bandaged beneath her tights.

“I knew this was a bad idea.” He sat her on the edge of the pit and tried to look at the soles of her tights, no blood seeped through and he tried to reassure her that meant no wounds had reopened.

Genesis’s smirk widened. “Oh look, he’s a nurse-maid too.”

“Aunty Gen’sis!” She exclaimed, her sad face brightened. Sephiroth’s malicious glare became a smirk.

“Turn the camera off!” Genesis barked at Angeal.

Angeal shook his head. “I promised my mother I’d get recordings for her. If you break it she’ll know.”

“Aren’t you a little old to be tattling?” Genesis growled.

Angeal shrugged. “Yeah but it works.” Looking at the scene through the camera Angeal howled with laughter as Alice dared to kiss Sephiroth’s cheek and his eyes grew wide with horror! Angeal zoomed the camera-lens in on the plastic ball Sephiroth was holding, broken and crushed into a cracked and airless block.

“Goodness Sephiroth,” Genesis teased, “are you blushing?”

“I think that’s anger.” Zack said. “You can tell by that vein in his temple and his eye twitching.”

“Why are you recording me? Don’t you have anything better to do?” Sephiroth hissed as Alice found the ‘secret entrance’ to the long tunnel hidden behind streams of green plastic seaweed.

Angeal shook his head. “No.”

“Not really.” Cissnei added.

“HQ’s on lockdown, we can do whatever we want with our day… that is, because we are childless and free.” Genesis boasted.

“…That you know of.” Zack quietly added.

“Alice!” Sephiroth called when he saw her in the tunnel, looking out one of the round windows at him.
She squealed when she saw a cuddly toy octopus lying on the ground and noticed the many fish teddies strung from the ceiling.

“Don’t touch that!” He tapped on the window. “You don’t know where it’s been!” Alice disobediently stared at him. “You monster…” He growled and crawled into the tunnel to pull her out.

“Ge’ off daddy! Don’ knows where ‘ou bee’d!” (Get off me daddy! I don’t know where you’ve been!) She squirmed but stilled when she heard the loud laughter at the tunnel entrance.

“That’s right Alice,” Genesis laughed as Angeal filmed through a window, “and you don’t want to know where he’s been either.” Alice pulled him to join them in the tunnel and hid under his red coat.

Sephiroth frowned at the camera through the window. “Angeal, did you say Aunt Gillian asked you to film this?”

Angeal nodded. “Yeah.”

“When did you tell her?” He fretted.

“In last week’s letter, I thought you would have told her yourself by now. It’s not my fault you hadn’t.”

“You had no right!”

“She was very upset you hadn’t told her yourself, I said she shouldn’t take it so seriously but she said she’ll call you about it.” Genesis added.

“Does Alice want ice cream now?” Cissnei called into the funhouse.

“She’s never having ice cream again!” Sephiroth replied.

“Don’t you think that after a life in a closet Alice deserves a little fun?” Genesis urged. One of the children in the tunnel watched; mouth agape, as Alice emerged from under Genesis’ coat and hurried out to Cissnei, it seem like magic!

“Who is Alice’s father? You or me.” Sephiroth piped.

“Remind me who the mother is again?” Genesis taunted.

Angeal lowered the camera. “You went too far, Genesis.” He turned back to Sephiroth. “May I remind you who it was that ate all the toffee apples in Banora?” He tried to lighten the mood.

Genesis wandered out trying not to trip over the scurrying children, his back bent further than Hojo’s as the tunnel ceiling was so low. “But who ate the pie, the jello, the angel delight, all the cupcakes and the stuffing from your favourite teddy?”

“How do you remember all that, Genesis?” Sephiroth scowled.

“Because you blamed it ALL on me! My father punished me with a beating from his rubber-soled-slipper!”

“Hm,” Sephiroth pondered, “where can I buy a rubber-soled-slipper nowadays?”

“Sephiroth!” Angeal scolded. “That is NOT a suitable punishment!” As if backing his statement, the child stood behind Sephiroth hit with a plastic yellow lorry.

As the three argued none of them noticed Alice sat on Zack’s knee outside the funhouse, licking an ice cream. She clenched her eyes shut when she bit into it. “Brain freeze!” He laughed. “You know, you really shouldn’t bite your ice cream, just lick it. Hey, you’re dribbling!” He snatched the ice cream, licked around the cone and then handed it back to her. “Mmm! Tasty!” He grinned.

“Mine!” She smashed the ice cream into her mouth, her eyes widened and she dropped the cone into Zack’s hand as the frozen treat stung her mouth.

“That was so silly!” Cissnei took the cone from Zack.

“Yeah,” he agreed, “you shouldn’t eat it all at once.”

“I meant you!”

“Me?”

Cissnei nodded. “Now look! It’s all up her nose and dripping on her dress!”

Sephiroth found his way out the funhouse. “I said no ice cream!” He angered as he pulled his ankle boots on.

“I’ ‘keam goed ‘way.” (My ice-cream went away.) Alice miserably explained her face sticky with the raspberry ice cream Cissnei struggled to wipe away with folded tissue, the fibres stuck to her face. “Tha’ now!” (I want to go on that now!) She pointed at the jiggling bouncy castle, her face pink with ice cream and white with tissue.

“No.” Sephiroth towered over Cissnei. “She’s barely ready to run let-alone jump.”

Cissnei sighed. “You’re right… But as soon as she’s made a full recovery we’re coming back!”

“Why are you crying?” Sephiroth huffed when Alice began a panicked whimpering wail.

“P-Pancake gone’d!” (Pancake’s gone!) She frantically realised the rabbit was nowhere in sight.

“Where did you last have him?” Angeal asked, having found his way out. “Sephiroth, go check the ball-pool.”

“She’ll survive without it.”

“But can you survive with no sleep for weeks while Alice cries for the thing.” Genesis asked.

“She won’t do that.”

“Why?” Genesis pushed.

“I’m going to buy those rubber-soled-slippers your fath—”

“GO LOOK FOR IT!” Cissnei shrieked, actually startling Sephiroth as she stood on her toes and pointed at the funhouse.

“What is wrong with that Turk?” Sephiroth grumbled as pulled his boots off and entered the funhouse, Zack followed close-behind.

“My guess is she’s PMS-ing.”

Sephiroth stepped back into the ball-pool and moved his arms around; wincing when his hands found something sticky, something slimly and an old biscuit, but he soon found Pancake. “This thing is no longer hygienic.”

“You thought it was before?” Zack asked. “Just wash it when you get home! Let’s go! I’m hungry.”

Chapter Text

The day remained damp and dreary. Scurrying through the rain Cissnei decided they would have lunch at A2Zedd. The café had been a favourite hangout in their youth… back then Posie had been with them then too but Sephiroth tried to shake her from his mind as Angeal opened the door.

Scarcely anything had changed there, and Sephiroth felt a pang of sad nostalgia as he realised that the only things that had changed in the café was himself and the company he kept.
The cracked plaster on the walls were pea-green, the floor was tiled black and white and the wooden tables and chairs scattered about were as worn down as he remembered them.

“You’re back?” The man behind the glass counter exclaimed when he saw them. “It’s been ages!”

“Tom!” Cissnei exclaimed. “It’s been too long!”

Angeal nodded. “It’s about time we came back.”

Genesis smiled. “Who knows when we can come again?”

“Uh? You know him?” Zack questioned.

Tom was of average height and had slick black hair. His eyes were dark and the only defining thing about him was his white apron, A2ZEDD printed on the front in large red print.

Something in Sephiroth’s mood changed. “Tom, I’d like you to meet my daughter.” He freed Alice from the stroller and lifted her onto his hip.

Alice gasped and hid her face in Sephiroth’s chest. “She looks just like her mother.” Tom kindly stated. “I’m so sorry, by the way! I only heard last week that Posie… that she was…” He struggled and tripped over his words.

Sephiroth agreed with a sad nod of his head. “Say no more.” He led the way to the back corner of the room where a table was pushed against a window. The space was sheltered and a little more private.

“You know that guy?” Zack asked.

Angeal nodded. “This was our favourite hangout when we were… your age, I suppose.”

“Younger.” Genesis recalled.

“And Sephiroth and I grew up with Tom.” Cissnei added.

“I didn’t.” Sephiroth frowned, watching her fuss with the highchair she struggled to unfold. He wondered why Alice couldn’t simply sit at the table, but he wouldn’t bother arguing with Cissnei about it.

Cissnei shrugged. “You kind of did.”

“Are you guy’s family?” Zack asked them.

Cissnei shook her head. “No, Tom and I grew up in the same… house,” she carefully chose her words, “until Tom ran away, but Sephiroth and Posie used to come back and visit us.”

“Posie?” Zack said. “That’s Alice’s mother’s name, right?”

“Yes Zack, it is.” Angeal interjected before things could be said that couldn’t be unsaid. “Decide what you want. There are a lot of us, it wouldn’t be right to make Tom wait.”

Zack took the menu. “But isn’t he a waiter? Isn’t that what they’re meant to do?”

Genesis smirked. “I agree Angeal; that is what his job title dictates.”

“Dick!” Alice stared at Genesis and exclaimed. A table-full of surprised eyes turned her way. “Tats!”

“What did you say?” Sephiroth seethed.

“’Dictates’.” Tom smiled as he approached. “That’s a big word!” He praised her.

“Dick tats!”

“Don’t separate the word,” Sephiroth scolded her, “say it together.” Alice blinked, confused. “Then don’t say it at all. G&T.” He decided as the menu was passed around the table, though it needn’t be, it hadn’t changed in ten years.

“Watch your units Sephiroth. I can’t afford to replace anymore tables ‘cause you’ve jumped on them.” Tom truthfully said as he scribbled Sephiroth’s order on his notepad.

“I’m hardly going to do that.” He huffed

“…Anymore.” Cissnei coughed and turned to Alice. “What would you like?”

“Pancakes!” Alice shouted and Sephiroth muttered in unison.

Cissnei’s gaze suddenly grew distant and she stood from her seat to wave at the lanky teen who’d entered the café with a ring of the bell above the door. His hair was dyed bright as blood and face tattooed. “Reno!”

“Wonderful.” Sephiroth and Genesis sarcastically grumbled.

“Yo!”

“Yo!” Alice squeaked back, copying his hand movements by examining two of her fingers and then held them to her brow.

Reno grinned, clambered over Zack and pushed his way along the table to sit beside Cissnei. “Haven’t seen you guys here for years. Why didn’t you invite me?”

Angeal folded his arms and shrugged. “Maybe we just don’t like you?”

“Hey!”

“Where’s Rude?” Cissnei asked.

“You think Rude goes everywhere with me?”

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow, Cissnei folded her arms accusingly, Angeal frowned and Genesis looked up from LOVELESS while Zack looked at Alice as if she could tell him what connection Reno – who he’d only ever met in passing – had to all these people.

“…He’s held up at work.” He finally confessed. “A victim of Professor nut-job’s toxic mess. He’s waiting to be cleared of some flesh-eating-virus. Hey, do you remember when we used to come here after work, all eight of us? We should do that again sometime.”

“There would only be seven of us now.” Genesis replied.

“Not true!” Reno quickly shouted as Sephiroth readied his glare. “There’s...” He shook his finger at Zack, “HIM! Forgotten your name buddy.”

“Zack! Third Class SOLDIER.”

Reno rubbed the back of his head. “…The TURK’s are better.” He mumbled.

“Wha’ tha’?” (What’s that?) Alice pointed to a piano angled against a wall.

Everyone looked at the piano and cringed, recalling Cissnei singing and playing away whilst they all watched in great embarrassment… even though she was only six years old at the time.

“A piano.” Sephiroth answered her. “It makes… noise.” He cringed.

“I can’t believe it’s still here!” Cissnei exclaimed.

“Neither can we.” Angeal remarked.

Reno lifted Alice out of the highchair. “Come with me!” He sat her at the piano, cracked his fingers and lightly pushed one of the many keys with one finger.

“Ooh…” Alice comically sounded, staring at the piano in awe.

“You have a go!” Reno guided her hand to a key.

Alice pushed one key and laughed, and then she pressed another and kicked her legs, laughing louder as she slammed her hands up and down, how Reno heard his phone ring amongst the noise was a mystery.
He nodded his head against his phone, hung up and sighed. “The job calls, see you later!” He quickly left, perhaps he’d seen their faces contorted with frustration as their ears were tortured by the booming sounds emitting from the piano.

Sephiroth lowered the piano lid, careful to move Alice’s hands aside. “Sit down and eat.” He sat her in her highchair again.

“Was that fun?” Cissnei asked. “I used to play that piano too.”

“And I can still hear it now,” Genesis complained, “ringing in my bleeding ears.” Cissnei kicked him.

Lunch was a pleasant, chatty affair, and Sephiroth tried to keep from looking at the corner where Posie used to sit. A small part of him expected her to appear in his mind and join their conversation. But she never appeared.

A long whine sounded from Alice’s tiny mouth along with a few dry sobs as she was lifted out of her highchair. “We’re going home.” Sephiroth stated as Alice rubbed her tired eyes. She’d fallen asleep after eating her sandwich; her meagre energy supplies exhausted.

Sephiroth quickly wrapped her in her coat and mittens then strapped her into the stroller. He watched, amused as her head lolled from side-to-side in sleep.

“Wet!” She awoke as she was pushed back home. “Wet!” The rain was heavy, black storm clouds were rolling in, Cissnei and Zack had had scurried off to their individual apartment buildings, leaving the three First Classes to hurry back to theirs.
Sephiroth ignored her, he was grateful for the rain; the people running to shelter were so preoccupied that they failed to notice him pushing the bright pink stroller. He vowed to paint it grey should he find the time.

The bitterly cold rain quickly became sleet; they made it into the apartment building as hail began to fall.

“I am soaked!” Genesis removed his coat in the hall as Sephiroth abandoned the stroller in the hall and Angeal shook the wet from his black hair. “Whose idea was it to venture out today?”

“Cissnei’s.” Sephiroth answered.

“Cissnei!” Genesis snarled.

“She was only trying to be nice.” Angeal tried to calm Genesis’ disgruntled state. “She had a traumatic week; I think she’s trying to distract herself. Her partner died during her trial mission.”

“I thought she seemed different.” Genesis mentioned, his boots squeaked as he climbed the stairs.

Sephiroth sighed. “It was Cissnei’s fault, apparently. Lilanda took a bullet for her when they strayed from the course.”

They parted ways at the top of the building to dry off in the comfort of their own homes. Sephiroth set Alice on the floor, removed his soaked coat and blue hoodie and stepped out of his boots. Alice clung to his wet jeans as she shivered. “Cold.” She sobbed. Her pink frilly dress stuck to her like a second skin. “Daddy! Cold!” She squealed.

“Really?” He muttered as he walked to his bedroom and pulled a shirt from his chest of draws and dry trousers from his wardrobe. He pulled his shirt off and noticed Alice’s pouting face as she lingered in his doorway, shivering.
He sighed and pulled the warm fabric of his grey jersey-shirt over his head. “As soon as I’m dressed you can have a bath.”
He was unnerved when Alice continued to stare at him, watching him change his trousers and socks. “You’re strangely quiet…” He finally commented.

“Cold…”

Sephiroth carried his sodden clothes through to the bathroom and threw them into the wash-basket, knowing Alice would follow him. He ran the bath and stripped Alice out of her wet clothes.

Alice turned to the bath, steaming as warm water filled it. “Wan’ bubbles.” (I want bubbles.) She tiredly insisted

“Fine.” He grabbed the bubble bath and squeezed the bottle into the flowing water, then lifted Alice into the water and tipped her rubber ducks in.

“C-can have ‘ittwle ‘ista p’ease?” (Can I have a little sister please?)

Sephiroth had to check his hearing for a moment and then looked down at the tiny monster staring up at him expectantly. “No.”

Her bottom lip began to quiver. “B-but Cake tin’s does!” (B-but Kaitlin’s does!)

“I don’t care. No.” He told her again. “…That’s impossible now.” He sighed under his breath when Alice’s eyes began to water. “If you’re going to cry every time I take you out then I won’t take you out again. Just play with your ducks.” He huffed and left her in the bathroom alone so he could turn the coffee on. The pad of his finger hit the switch when he heard a skid, a thud and a loud series of cries.

“What now?” He groaned and found Alice sobbing on the bathroom floor. “This is why you’re not supposed to get out of the bath on your own!” He scolded, examined her feet then lifted her back into the tub when he decided she was unharmed.
He saw the brown streaks of dirt from the playground in her blond hair and quietly grumbled as he began to wash it until the white shampoo became a mass of foam atop her head.

Tired, Alice lifted a yellow rubber duck out the frothy white bubbles, dunked it under the water and then held it up to Sephiroth’s face, rambling nonsense he couldn’t understand.
He ignored her, and continued rubbing the shampoo deep into her scalp. “No!” She screeched and shook her head. “G’in eye! G’in eye!” She shrieked.

“I won’t get it in your eyes if you keep them closed and your head still!” Sephiroth barked as he struggled to tilt her head back and reach for the small plastic basin floating in the bath. “Devil child!” He grumbled and put his hand over Alice’s eyes while continued to thrash and shriek. He tipped the basin over her hair several times until it was soap free. “Be still!” He ran the conditioner through.

“No’ in eye!” She wailed into her bawled fists.

“It won’t get in your eyes.” He began the rinsing process again.

Alice screamed! “IN EYE! IN EYE!” As he rinsed the last of the conditioner out.

“It will wash out!” He dared to move her hands aside and tip the basin of warm water over her face.

CRASH!

“SEPHIROTH?” His door splintered off its hinges and Angeal ran in, sword drawn, Genesis followed in a similar state of aggression. “Where’s Alice?” He looked at the bath where Alice was taking big shaky horrified breaths.

Her face scrunched up like a dried prune as she turned her head in Sephiroth’s direction. “Why ‘ou do that ta me?” (Why would you do that to me?) She shrilled then once again burst into tears.

“I thought she was being murdered…” Genesis frowned, he sounded almost disappointed.

“…Not yet.” Sephiroth sneered.

“She looks tired.” Angeal stated as Sephiroth dried Alice and drained the bath.

“Is that why she’s so tempestuous?” Sephiroth frowned, dressed Alice in her warmest nightclothes and put her to bed, double-checking she had Pancake, that her lamp was on and the door wouldn’t spontaneously creak in the night to incite a series of panicked howls.

Angeal turned back to the door as Genesis pulled it the floor and propped against the wall. “I’ll fix the door tomorrow.”

Sephiroth nodded. “Goodnight.” Angeal and Genesis left, but not before he heard Genesis comment on the power of Alice’s lungs.

“Daddy,” she said, half-lidded, “whe’ back Ho’do?” (When am I going back to Hojo?)

Sephiroth paused; the question had caught him off-guard. “Never.” He slid the sock-like bandages onto her feet and tucked her in.

“I know! Bu’ when?” (I know! But when?)

“You’re not going back.” He tried to reassure her with a shake of his head.

“When daddy?” She whined, ready to sob again.

“Fine, if you have to go back to Hojo I’ll tell you in advance, now you sleep.”

“D’wan ta.” (I don’t want to.) She quavered. “D’wan ta! DADDY!” (I don’t want to! DADDY!) She squealed, sobbing as he left the room.

“Sleep.” He demanded a final time and left the door open.
He sat in his chair and held the bridge of his nose as Alice wailed, but finally she was quiet. He dared to move to find the reason for her silence and was greeted by her sleeping face.

“She can be a little devil at times,” he bristled. Posie stood beside him. “But she does have some angelic moments.”

“Thought I’d finally gotten rid of you.” He crossed his arms.

“I know.”

“Where were you? You’ve been gone a long time.”

She hugged her arms. “I just… didn’t feel like coming.”

“What else could you have to do?”

“Good point… So, what did you do today?”

“We went to the park… and then to a playhouse so monstrous I am considering sending Wutai prisoners there.”

She almost laughed but as Sephiroth blinked she’d disappeared again.

Chapter Text

Posie continued to haunt Sephiroth’s dreams. He dreamt of the day before, the day at the park. He sat on the bench, but this time Posie sat beside him, watching Alice play.

The very first time Posie had appeared to him had been the day after her funeral. He’d been so mortified he’d run to Angeal, asking him if he could see her too.
He couldn’t.

Angeal had suggested that Sephiroth interact with her to understand the state of his own mind. So the ghostly conversations had begun and somewhat helped him cope. So, with his arm around Posie’s shoulders, he sighed and noticed that she wasn’t herself.

“I apologise if the things I said in Banora… hurt you.” He recalled the last dream he’d had, sat in Banora with her, trying to dismiss her.

She was quiet for a while. “I want to come home.” She finally said. “This is hard…”

“I don’t pretend that it’s easy to exist without you. I wish you were home too.” He nodded in Alice’s direction. “Lately I think that she makes it easier.”

“I’m glad.” Posie began to relax.

“But it also worries me… because if she does heal my heart… my mind… then we might not meet like this anymore.”

“That won’t happen!” Posie insisted. “I just need you to listen!”

A loud cough broke Sephiroth’s dream. His eyes flew open, he ran a hand down his face and rolled over to look at the alarm, 1:00 AM.

A knot began to form in his throat, so he pulled a long blue t-shirt from the pillowcase beside his. He held it to his thin nose and breathed in the flowery scent. It was his comfort blanket, his secret.
The t-shirt had been Posie’s; it still bore her scent and was something that made him feel better yet worse at the same time.

As the coughing stopped Sephiroth dozed off for a few moments, still clutching the garment, but awoke again when the coughing loudened.

Alice stood at his bedside, a ghastly white and hugging Pancake.
Sephiroth quickly pushed the t-shirt back into the pillowcase and turned on the lamp to see his very sickly child sticky with mucus.

“Go back to bed Alice.” He sighed. But instead she crawled in beside him and stretched her arms into a hug.

He tiredly reached for the bedside table and retrieved the neatly arranged notepad. He scanned through a few pages until he found what he was looking for.

Should the child become ill:
Allow her to sleep in your bed. Do not become angry, keep calm and take care of him/her in a kindly manner.
(REF: A SINGLE PARENTS GUIDE TO PARENTING.)

He returned the notepad to its rightful place and switched the lamp off.
“Daddy…” Alice choked. “Stowy time.” (Story time.)

“Once,” he yawned, “there was a man who found a little monster and regretfully took it home with him. Then that monster became ill and refused to allow him rest…”

*

Alice awoke in the early morning when Sephiroth was perched on the edge of his bed sliding his socks on. It was his last day off, the Shinra Building would be free of contamination tomorrow and he was determined to make the most of his free day.

“Get off me.” He grumbled when Alice lid across his lap and gripped his shirt, refusing to let go. She replied with a series of gags and vomited on his lap, then climbed off him and curled back on the bed.

Sephiroth clenched his eyes shut, and peeled his shirt off, then winced when he heard Alice throw up a second time… on his pillow. “Disgusting.” He mumbled. “Move.” He took his pillow and soiled clothes to the bathroom where he reluctantly scraped them down and put them in the wash basket.

He hadn’t prepared for this; he hadn’t cared for a sick child since he was a child himself. And the circumstances had been very different.

Alice stood in the doorway, sniffling and shivering. “To your own room.” He demanded and she held her arms up. “You really expect me to hold you while your stomach’s unsteady?”

She hiccupped.

Taking her hand Sephiroth guided her to her bed. “What are your symptoms?” He lifted her and set her down on the mattress. She blinked tiredly and he laid a hand on her forehead. “You have a fever.” He noted and pulled the duvet over her lap. “Stay here.” He left and returned with a thermometer. “Keep it under your tongue.” He held it steady in her mouth as she whimpered and whined herself into a dozy half-asleep state.
When the thermometer beeped her watery eyes flew open and she screamed a startled squeal.

Sephiroth observed the numbers. “It’s not terrible.” He observed. “Symptoms, now.” Alice only sobbed and miserably hugged Pancake. He sighed and rephrased his words. “How do you feel?”

She chewed her knuckles and whined when he pulled her hand from her mouth. “Enough!”
A sound in the front room diverted his attention as the bookcase he’d slid in front of the broken door was moved aside.

“What have you done now, Sephiroth?” Genesis strolled into the room.

He frowned. “I removed her fist from her teeth, is that a crime?”

Genesis scrunched up his nose. “Your apartment stinks.”

“Alice is unwell.”

“What’s wrong with her exactly?”

“She refuses to describe her symptoms.”

“Is that a problem?”

He huffed and stood from his crouched position, ignoring how Alice clutched onto him. “How am I to know what to do if I don’t know what’s wrong with her for certain? Perhaps yesterdays activites re-opened old wounds?”

“I doubt it. She had no internal bleeding or anything, just infection, and that cleared up weeks ago.” He sighed. “But if you’re that worried you should ask Angeal, he’s a walking medical encyclopaedia. He’ll be here soon to fix the door.”

“Stay with her.” He prised Alice off him. “I’m going to the chemist, they ust have something to make her a little more tolerable.”

Alice began chewing her fist again as he left, a nervous habit. “Daddy!” She whined around her hand. Wide eyed she looked up at Genesis for answers. “A-aunty –”

“Nothing shall forestall… my return.” He reassured and left her door open while he clinked through the kitchen and returned with a cup of water. “Have something to drink. Don’t spill it.” He handed it to her and turned to the window. He could hear the gales and splatters of rain on the glass behind the closed white blinds.

It was March, spring was approaching, the Banora apples would turn mauve soon. He hoped his schedule would allow time to return home that year so he could try one fresh off a tree.

Alice had fallen asleep; Genesis smiled and took the cup from her limp hands.
“Dreams of the morrow hath the shattered soul. Pride is lost. Wings stripped away, the end is nigh…”

*

Alice SCREAMED.

She was strapped to an examination table. Hojo and three of his colleagues loomed over her, one of them held her head still while the other pulled her left eye open, ready for the long needle Hojo held; ready to sink it into her socket.

“Silence!” Hojo hollered. “Why can’t you just be silent?” He slapped her.

Alice’s head turned towards the doorway, the lab had melted into the living room and Sephiroth stood at the front door. She screamed and reached out to him!

…But he turned his back and walked away.

*

Alice coughed herself conscious and fell from her bed, panicked.
She dizzily pushed herself up but fell back down when she heard it –

Hojo was in the living room.

She could hear his medical equipment whirring away, the noise was unmistakable, the precise sound of grating pain.

Frozen, she sat snotty and sobbing, pulling at the skin on her knuckles until they bled. Waiting for Hojo or Rachna to come in and –

The door opened.

“Now, now, nothing can be that bad.” The voice, naturally agitated, told her as she wailed.

He wasn’t Hojo. There were no glasses, only glowing annoyed blue eyes and a burgundy shirt replaced the clinical white coat.
Aunty Genesis had come to the rescue. And Alice would have said so, but when she released her hands from her mouth and held them up, only sobs could escape her throat.

“What have you done to your hands?” Genesis exclaimed and crouched down to examine them.

The whirring had stopped when Genesis entered the room but a hammering quickly replaced it.

Hojo was still out there, Alice realised and cried louder. She pulled her hands from Genesis’s and bit down on them, her teeth pulled at her knuckles the way a hound tugs meat from bone.

“Stop that!” He gripped her face to pucker her cheeks and tugged her hands away. “…Wait ‘til Sephiroth sees this.” He grumbled. “I’ll never hear the end of it.” He picked her up and walked to the living room, ignoring how her cries fearfully loudened and reached to grip the doorframe.

It needn’t be said that comfort was not something Genesis excelled at. Far from it, he had no bedside manner whatsoever!

“Look what she’s done.” He called to Angeal who finished bashing the splintered doorframe corner back into place on the nail beneath and swung the new white door on its hinges, admiring its lack of squeak and perfect fit. He returned the hammer to his tool belt and unclasped it from his waist.
Whether he actually needed the tool belt had been argued about the entire time he’d worn it and Genesis still had no answer.

The truth remained in Angeal’s personal, secret knowledge… that for no real reason, he just liked wearing it.

“How are we going to explain this?” He reached for Alice’s hands, clawing his neck as she babbled incoherently into his shoulder.

The small hand he held up for examination was chewed bloody, the flesh of her knuckles hung free in fleshy ribbons.

Angeal’s eyes widened and he dropped the belt onto the table beneath the window with a loud THUNK. “My g – What do you mean we?”

“I mean what I mean. How are WE going to explain this? Sephiroth will consider us heedless and will rub our faces in it for the rest of our lives!” He called over Alice’s loud sobs.

“No. Sephiroth will consider you heedless and will rub your face in it for the rest of your life.”

“That depends who tells the story first.” He grinned and then grimaced. “She’s soaking my shirt in mucus, take her away.” He held Alice out. She shrieked louder, struggling to hold onto him as Angeal took her.

“What happened?” He asked her.

Sobbing, Alice looked up at him, startled and surprised to see him. She dared to scan the room for Scientists and although she found none she continued to wail.

Angeal stared at the blood around her mouth, like a depressed zombie child in his arms. “What happened?”

Genesis shrugged. “If I knew that the situation would be dealt with.”

“Did something scare you?” Angeal asked as she sobbed long, raspy, phlegm filled coughs that she swallowed back down with a sickly sound. “Go get her floppy… dog thing.”

Genesis raised a brow. “Floppy dog thing?”

“The one with the big ears she’s always carrying ‘round.”

Genesis went into Alice’s room and came back holding Pancake up by one of its ears. “This, Angeal, is obviously a rabbit.”

“Whatever it is just give it to her!”

“And you call yourself a country boy.”

Alice practically snatched Pancake from Genesis when he held it closer to her.
Angeal slid a hand between Alice’s head and his collarbone. “She’s hot.” He noted. “Go find a thermometer.”

Genesis didn’t budge. “When did I become your slave?”

“So you want to hold her while I search?”

Genesis left to search the kitchen cupboards. “The first aid kit is empty!” He walked from the kitchen to Sephiroth’s room. “He must have left it somewhere.”

Angeal sat down on the sofa with Alice on his lap, hugging Pancake as she bawled. “Calm down. You’ll make yourself sicker.”

“I can’t find it.” Genesis returned to the living room, a black book under his arm. “He must not have one.”

Angeal groaned, frustrated. “Stay with her.” He opened the new front door with some pride and walked across the hall.

Genesis took his spot on the sofa and opened the large book. “In my experience,” he said to Alice who was curled up at the other end, “books make everything better. Would you like to see the pretty lady?”

Alice dared to look up from Pancake’s soft body.

“Your father’s in here too.” He pulled Alice closer. She was quieter as she weakened and stared down at the large book spread on Genesis’ lap. “What do you think? Isn’t she lovely?”

The book was a photo album, photos lined each page but the one Genesis pointed to was a woman, Posie, it was the last picture anyone had taken of her… alive.

Her cloudy blind eyes stared into the distance, unaware of the camera. Her hair blond hair glowed gold in the evening sunlight that blended the pink scars on her face into her pale skin.

Genesis looked down at Alice, a glimmer of pride in his eye as she quietened. “What do you think?”

A bloody finger pointed to another photo. Genesis nodded. “Yes, that is your father. He’s in Banora.” He noted the background.

“No I’m not.” The door opened and closed behind Sephiroth, the paper bag he carried rustled. “I could hear her screaming from outside the building, did you quieten her by suffocation or…?” He stood behind the sofa. Alice looked up at him, her face red and puffy; her mouth chapped and bloody. But it wasn’t her Sephiroth stared at disbelievingly, or the bloody hands gripping Pancake, it was the photo album spread open on Genesis’ lap, the blind eyes in the photo that stared through him, and his expression turned to rage.

“I was showing Alice the pretty lady; you really should consider taking her picture books out of the bag –!” Alice shrieked and Genesis gasped when he was swung off the sofa by his hair and punched into a wall. His leg came up to kick Sephiroth away when the second punch came.

It wasn’t the terrified sobs that alerted Angeal but rather the crashes; and he fled across the hall to stop the flurry of limbs attacking and defending.

“STOP!” He ran between them, his arms outstretched in an effort to keep their swinging fists from striking each other, or him.

It worked, but only after Sephiroth’s fist collided with Genesis’ face a second time and sent him sprawling to the floor behind Angeal.

Panting and in a rage Sephiroth’s chest heaved as he glared malice down at Genesis who was propped up on his elbow, the other hand rubbed his bruised jaw and split lip.
“Get him out.” Sephiroth seethed.

“Genesis, GO!” Angeal demanded, on his guard his eyes never left Sephiroth. “Don’t say anything, just go.”

Genesis left but made sure to slam the new door as loudly as possible.

“What happened?” Angeal asked. “You can’t just attack each other like that!”

Sephiroth lifted the photo album off the sofa and threw it at the wall then held his head in distress.

Hoping it might provide some answers, Angeal picked the album up.

“He was showing her pictures.” Sephiroth finally growled. “He knows what I’ve said about…!”

By chance, Angeal flicked through the pages to realign the photos, and adjusted the photo that had begun the fight between brothers-in-arms. “We all grieve in different ways, Sephiroth.” He quietly explained as Sephiroth paced. “I thought you were getting better.”

“Better?” He growled. “This is not going to get better! You don’t know what it’s like living with a ghost inside your head!”

“Maybe I do!” He shouted back. “And Genesis does too!”

Sephiroth was taken aback, his mind reeling. Could they see her too?

“For five years we’ve scarcely been allowed to speak of Posie!” He dared to say the name. “Out of regard for you and your wishes we put our thoughts of her aside and locked up every memory of her to keep your rage at bay!”

“I can’t bear it Angeal, the very thought of her reminds me that she’s not here so I would rather forget –!”

“And that’s how YOU grieve!” Angeal exclaimed. “Genesis does not. He’s never kept a thing to himself! Do you think we don’t feel loss? Do you think Alice’s arrival didn’t shock us too? – Alice!” He remembered her and saw the empty sofa.

“In here.” Sephiroth walked to his room and laid on his stomach to look under the bed. His heart stopped and he thought he’d have a heart attack when he saw the dead eyes glaring at him, as if Posie’s corpse had been nestled beneath his bed for years. But she was just in his mind, he had to remind himself, his mind was angry at him and that was why Posie was angrily laid under his bed her body coiled around Alice who was practically foetal, eyes clenched shut and Pancake hugged to her chest beneath her crossed forearms so she could chew on her fists.

“What were you thinking?” Posie hissed at him, livid.

“You of all people should know.” He replied.

Alice gasped and dared to look up, hearing Sephiroth’s voice she saw him staring at her… no… through her.

“Come out.” He told Alice and frowned when an arm slithered around her trembling shoulders.

“You stay away.” Posie warned him.

“Sephiroth?” Angeal stood in the doorway. “Is she under there?”

“Yes.” Sephiroth looked at him over his shoulder; he turned his head back, knowing Posie would be gone. But her face was leering so close to his he stopped breathing. Like a scene in a horror movie she was a poltergeist ready to strike.

“Leave her alone.” She growled through grit teeth.

He gulped, his head hurt and he pushed himself off the floor. “I’m going to let you deal with this.” He told Angeal; passing him he tried to disguise terror for rage.

He ignored Angeal’s frustrated call and stood in the kitchen, trying to control the tremor in his hands with the strongest alcohol from his fridge.

“You never listen!” Posie hissed inside is head. “You have my little girl to look after and you have friends who care about you! MAN UP!”

“She’s asleep.” Angeal thwarted his attention. “The thermometer was next to her bed, typically. If Genesis had searched properly none of this would have happened.” He put his hand on his hip. “She has a fever, and I gave her the medicine.” He explained,

Sephiroth nodded. “There was so much choice I had to ask for advice, apparently some of the medication can’t be mixed with particular health problems so it took me longer than I thought to choose one.”

“This can’t happen again. You are a SOLDIER, show some discipline!” He sighed. “I’m going to find Genesis now. When Alice wakes, make sure you listen to her,”

“Listen.” Posie’s voice echoed through his mind.

“We still don’t know what was wrong with her.” He continued.

Sephiroth blinked and Posie was stood behind Angeal, her nose bleeding and red blood dripped off her chin. “I want to come home!”

“Sephiroth?”

He wobbled on his feet. “Something’s… wrong…” He managed to say as his head span.

“Let me go home!”

“Sephiroth!” Angeal called and rushed towards Sephiroth but didn’t catch him before he fell and hit the tiled floor.

“LET ME OUT!”

“My head…” Sephiroth hissed; blinded by the pain in his skull he saw white, and then, blue skies.

Chapter Text

Laid on his back and too scared to move, afraid the searing pain would return, Sephiroth stared up at a clear blue sky.
Someone was pressed into him, and the gentle movements helped him recognise the sound and texture of grass beneath him. He guessed he was in Banora again, atop the sight-seeing hill, where he had once watched the clouds fly and found shapes in them.

“I’m sorry…” Posie wept into his neck.

“…YOU hurt me.” He announced, shocked.

“I had to get to you while your guard was down.”

“You definitely did that. Why?”

Her mouth twitched against his shoulder. “I’m not dead.”

“Wishful thinking.” He grunted.

Her hands balled into fists, gripping his shirt. “I’m not dead! I’m NOT!”

“I oversaw your post-mortem myself. No paperwork went in or out without my seeing it!” He dared to glare at her. “You said ‘D.N.A tests are a wonderful thing’, and trust me when I say that you were drained of blood, salvia and stripped of your hair, bone and flesh to prove that you are who you are… and that you are very much dead.”

Her grip slackened. “You really think that… don’t you?”

“I know it. True, when Alice appeared I thought I had it wrong, but I’d paid the morgue to keep tissue samples and after I found Alice I had hers and your cells tested to prove she’s yours and it was a match. The corpse was yours, the child is yours. You are gone.”

Posie laid her head back down. “I can’t remember what the grass smells like.” She began to weep. “The feel of the breeze, the scent of flowers… it’s all faded.” And then her weeping stopped, replaced with a dead realisation. “You’re right. Maybe I am dead… I’m dissolving… and all that’s here is my memory.”

“It’s my memory,” Sephiroth confessed, “and it’s keeping you alive within me in cruel nostalgia. …Do you want me to let you go?”

Her eyes closed, exhausted. “I don’t know…” She sighed. “It’s like I’m the glitch in your brain.”

“The spanner in my works.”

“The virus up your nose.”

He had to laugh, no matter how sad her voice was. “I’m beginning to think you’re more of a security patch to keep me sane.”

“Shh!” She hushed him and curled into him again. “Let me rest.”

“Posie?”

“I just want to hear your heartbeat.”

He reluctantly wrapped his arms around her. “You can stay here,” he allowed, “you can rest here… eternally. I’ll keep you company.”

“Thank you.”

But the light was beginning to fade and with a flutter of lashes the hill sank and Sephiroth fell onto his bed, it was that falling dream that awakens you from that deepest, most wonderful sleep with a fright. So once again, he had left the calming refuge of his dream and realised he was back in his nightmare, on his bed, with Hojo’s voice looming in the background.

“He’s awakening!” Hojo cried, like an odd retelling of Victor Frankenstein.

“Hojo…?” He growled and struggled to sit up. A hand pushed him back down. “Angeal?”

“You hit your head when you fell.” Angeal explained. “I thought it was better to call someone in rather than send you to a hospital, it would make the news within the hour.”

Sephiroth frowned and winced when his head stung. “So you called him?”

“I heard he was in quarantine, turns out he left the building seconds before the virus broke out. My call was forwarded to him, unfortunately.”

Sephiroth groaned. “What happened? Where’s Alice?”

“Both you and that spawn of yours have been struck by the virus that hit the area this morning. NOT the flesh eating virus in the Shinra Building. It’s a common flu that broke out in the Slums; you’re both running high fevers.” Hojo explained. “Now then, the question is, what where you doing in the Slums?”

Sephiroth’s head hurt too much to think. He didn’t want to confess that Alice attended Nursery there.

“To take Alice to the park, why else?” Angeal chimed.

“Why else indeed?” He exclaimed.

Sephiroth groaned, his head throbbing. “Angeal, there’s aspirin in the bathroom cupboard, can you get it for me?”

Angeal quirked a brow at Hojo but received a slow blink of approval from Sephiroth. “I’ll be right back.”

“Anyone in their right mind would think you had gone into the Slums to find a certain Ancient.”

“You really think you’re in your right mind?”

“Ah! Ah! Remember! One word from me that you have put that Slum-dwelling, endangered creature at risk and you, my boy, shall be practically incapacitated for the rest of your life!”

“Do you plan to break my neck? No. It doesn’t matter. Why would I ever seek Aerith out? If it wasn’t for her Posie would still be alive.”

“Are you sure of that?”

Sephiroth reached up to his head and pulled the cool cloth away. “What?”

“Your wife was disobedient and reckless! She was bound to get herself killed at some point! I knew she’d never make it into old age, but alas, when I suggested locking her away the request was denied. Ha! Foolish!”

“Get out!”

“I was about to! There’s nothing left for me to do here!” He collected his few things. “The mako in your body will break the virus down in about two hours as opposed to a week, though its price is these extreme symptoms for the duration. I’ll be back at the same time each day to check on Project A-1.”

“No.” Sephiroth called as Hojo left. “Hojo!” The front door closed and Angeal entered with a packet of pills and a glass of water. “He says he’s coming back each day to observe Alice.”

Angeal helped Sephiroth sit up. “He said he wants to check her progress.”

“He wants to see how my genetics will affect her healing!” He popped the pills into the water and swirled the glass. He took a sip and hissed as the cold water made his head throb sharp white pain. “Why did you let him in?”

“I didn’t know he was coming. Lazard just said he’d send someone off-base.” Angeal explained, peeved that he was being blamed. “Alice was asleep when he arrived and hasn’t woken up yet. If you don’t say anything I doubt she’ll ever know he was here.”

Sephiroth finished his medicine and put the glass on the bedside table. “She must have gotten sick at Sunny Care.”

“Or played with a child yesterday who’d picked it up.”

“…Planet help us if there’s ever a zombie outbreak, those little monsters will spread the virus so fast we’ll have no hope.”

“And that’s the fever talking. Lay down and sleep it off, I’ll stay in case Hojo comes back.”

“Did you see Genesis?”

Angeal shook his head. “Not yet. When you’re well you should speak to him yourself.”

At the expense of a high fever and feeling like his body had been rung through a meat grinder, the mako broke the virus down by midday. So Sephiroth showered, dressed and quietly let himself into Genesis’ apartment.

“I heard Hojo arrive.” Genesis said, sat on his chair reading his favourite copy of LOVELESS, his bruised face healed with materia. “I can’t say I’m sad that you suffered.”

“Alice gave me her sickness; most of the Slums have been struck with it. Our fight brought it out in me quicker than it should have.” He sighed. “I came to apologise.”

“No,” he slammed the book shut, “Angeal sent you to apologise.”

“Angeal… explained a few things to me…” He sighed. “I understand now, that the silence I forced on you must have caused distress.”

“…Continue.”

He swallowed his pride. “I’m lifting the ban on… Posie’s… name… and her photos.”

“It’s about time.”

“The memory of her is painful to me, so I’d appreciate it if you’d speak of her as little as possible in my presence.”

“And,”

“And?” He saw the faded red marks on Genesis’ face. He sighed again. “I apologise for attacking you.”

Genesis paused. “That will do, for now. But I’m sure I can find a way for you to repay me in the future.”

“I just did repay you. I lifted the ban.”

“There never was a ban, Sephiroth. Only the knowledge that you’re an accident waiting to happen made hazardous in Posie’s absence.” He huffed. “What happens when Alice wants to know where she came from?”

He shifted. “The stork brought her.”

“And how long did that answer sate your curiosity?” Genesis stood as Sephiroth stiffened. “When did you stop questioning your parentage and its mysteries? How has that affected your relationship with your father?”

He turned his head away. “That’s different.”

“Is it? You know we don’t have secrets, the secrets have us. Do you really want Alice to be kept captive by secrets too?”

Sephiroth walked out and quietly closed the door.

Chapter Text

“Will you submit?”

Slowly, they looked to each other, no words needed to be spoken. Posie began first, Sephiroth followed, as they untied the traps over their shoulders they removed their leather stomach guards, the Shinra logo printed upon them, and laid them at the feet of the furious General.
As his face contorted into fury they held each other’s hand.

“If you survive, you’ll never disobey again.” He growled, spitting between his teeth, his eyes bulbous with anger.

They were violently stripped of their tiny uniforms, a costly garb tailored for six year olds.
Sephiroth, stronger than any other child, was restrained by two of the harshest Lieutenants; the others paled when they noticed the iron brandished in the fire beneath the pipe powering the makeshift gas chamber and hastily made their escape.

The General wordlessly demanded Sephiroth be hunched over, he pushed Sephiroth’s silver hair from the nape of his neck to thrust the red-hot iron there. “Your insubordination will mark you for the rest of your lives!”
Sephiroth’s mouth fell open into a silent scream and his eyes grew so large they looked as though they’d pop from his sockets, Posie wailed for him.
Finally, his breath was no longer hitched, and he screamed the loudest scream he was able to, even when the iron was pulled from his blackened neck and he was dropped to the floor, writhing, burning his hands on his heated skin, he screeched louder.

“You’re next.” The General declared, pointing the steaming iron at Posie.

Regardless of the nightmare, Sephiroth awoke well-rested felling much better than he had the day before. Hand on the risen scar brandished into the back of his neck, a burn long healed into a circular shape, hidden beneath his long hair. It was a cruel reminder in so many ways, he often stroked the risen outline of the lettering whenever he was deep in thought, Posie had done the same thing to her own, she’d traced her own brand for hours the day she’d disappeared, one finger running over the words until he was sure the mark of deadened skin might become sore. He would always regret not asking her what was on her mind that day… he had many regrets.

PROPERTY OF SHINRA.C

He could write those words backwards, he mused, tracing the mark as he sat up, wide awake minutes before his alarm would sound.

It was no wonder he’d had bad dreams, considering the events of the previous day as he stepped out of bed. Hojo had been in his home, speaking of his wife and all he had wanted to do to her before her death… and of Aerith. Sephiroth bristled whenever he heard the name and he regretted taking on the surname, had he known what would happen he never would have had anything to do with her.

Before Alice had invaded his life his days began at 4AM, he would slip out of bed to the smell and sound of fresh coffee being poured from the timed machine in the kitchen, he’d shower, washing his long mane (scented with thirteen perfumes), then would prepare breakfast and drink his coffee while his hair dried.

Then Hojo had given him Alice… Anyone who has tried to leave the house with a toddler before 5AM knows you need some sort of miracle! And that miracle began at 3AM, losing that last precious hour of sleep sometimes got Sephiroth to work on time.

At 3AM Sephiroth forced himself out of bed and prepared breakfast until his coffee cooled. Eggs for him (protein to last the day), a glass of orange juice and fruity porridge for Alice…
It was easier to move a fully grown hippo than that girl from her bed! …Or so he grumpily thought to himself, switching the light on in the dim room. Alice blinked and hid beneath the covers, whining.

And so it began. Sephiroth was quickly learning that children make everything a battle. There are four seemingly simple daily musts of parenting, (1) you must feed the child, (2) wash her, (3) dress her and (4) put her to bed. But every day, each one of these things became a battle; a challenge Alice put him through, a test he had to pass before he was allowed to begin his day.

“Get up.” Like the firing of a gun, the challenge began with a pull of the bed covers and his frustrated huff when Alice curled into a ball with a sob, Pancake squashed between her head and knees (her arms tucked in there somewhere).

He unfurled her like a stubborn rug, carried her to the table and sat her in her highchair. She’d started to grow; he noted; turning the radio on he sat on his seat.
‘Breakfast and a show’; he mused, watching Alice cram as much of the porridge into her mouth. Her eyes were drooping shut, her head lolled.
His simple open handed smack to the table fixed that – BANG!
Her head snapped up, porridge dribbled down her chin and her eyes watered until she shovelled the next spoonful in.

“It’s a wonder that spoon doesn’t leave shrapnel wounds on her face.”
Sephiroth chuckled at Posie’s humour. Her saw her in the corner of his eye, leant against the sofa, blindly watching them through his eyes. “About last night, I wanted to tell you –!”

“I don’t want to hear it.” He sternly said aloud. Alice stared at him, her tired green eyes wide and cheeks as bulbous as a hamsters, she looked around, trying to see what, who, he was looking at.
“Just eat. You need a bath.”

“NO!” He was taken aback by the shriek following sobs.

“This is new.” Posie noted, her voice quiet and distant. “Maybe it’s because she’s sick? You can’t send her to day care like this!”

“What else am I to do with her? I’d rather she be sick at day care than here with the sick machinations of Hojo!” He grumbled and left the table to turn the bathroom taps on.

“Daddy!” He ignored Alice’s cries as she sobbed and the highchair creaked as she fussed. “EEK!” – CRASH!

“Alice?” He hurried back to the living room.

Alice had tipped the highchair over and smacked her head on the floor, still strapped in the highchair she held her forehead, sobbing louder when Sephiroth put the chair back on its legs and helped her out of it; grimacing at how snotty she was as she clung to him. “That’s why you’re supposed to behave yourself!” He carried her into the bathroom, eager to put her in the tub.

“You know they’ll only send her home.” Posie crossed her arms.

“I have nowhere else to put her.” He grumbled, roughly scrubbing Alice’s hair, ignoring her cries as she balled her fists to rub her eyes.

“No’ in my eye! No’ in my eyes!”

“It won’t go in your eyes if you stay still!” He rinsed the bubbles from her hair as she shrieked murder!

Posie sighed. “…It went in her eyes, didn’t it?”

“Keep quiet!” He washed the lingering sweat off Alice as quickly as he could, no amount of soap could mask the feverish smell. “If you keep crying you’ll make yourself sick.”
Alice didn’t listen, pulled from the bath as the water was drained; she was wrapped in her fluffy towel and carried back into her room, sat on her bed, the days outfit suspended from a hanger on the door.

“At least it’s comfortable.” Posie stood behind Sephiroth as he snatched the hanger down. He guessed she was commenting on the soft tunic and dark leggings, probably softer than any of Alice’s pyjamas.

He ignored her, laying the clothes beside Alice, sat hugging Pancake as if she were headed to her execution. “Put the toy down.” He told her.
She hugged it tighter, weeping between its ears.
“You can have it back later.” He wriggled the socks up her feet.

“I don’ – I don; wants to put clothes on!” She kicked and fell in an unhappy heap on her pillow.

“This is the longest tantrum she’s ever had.”

“You don’t always have to state the obvious!” Sephiroth barked. “If you’re not going to help; leave!” He waved his hand – when he returned to the spot Posie had stood; she was gone.

He pulled Alice out of her huddled ball of misery, forced her into her clothes and grimaced when she sneezed neon yellow mucus down the front of her tunic. Cleaning her up he dropped her in her shoes and carried her out the door, feeling some anxiety as he walked to the parking lot, convinced her saw curtains twitching to see what disaster would make a child scream so early in the morning.

“Stay still!” He buckled her into her car seat. He had hired a car with the intent of buying it, true, it would be easier for Shinra to track him, but also easier to get Alice to day care on time. “We’re late!” He slammed the back door and climbed in the driver’s seat. “All you had to do was behave!” He bristled, glaring over his shoulder as he reversed.

“Sephiroth! Calm down!” He suddenly stared at the seat beside him; Posie was sat there, berating him. “You are off base! No one is going to die!” It was the number one rule in the army, if you’re late people die. He huffed; his brain had taken form in the seat beside him, reminding him of everything he already knew.

“I thought I told you to disappear? The vow was ‘til death do us part’.”

“Considering we were married in the heat of battle we left that part out!”

“We’ll argue about this later!”

“Who talkin’ to daddy?”

He froze. Alice’s wide red eyes stared in confused bewilderment. “…Myself.”

He ignored her for the rest of the journey, the constant screaming and occasional word he understood, ‘want’ and ‘home’ were the favourite words of the day.

It was dark under the plate so early in the morning. Sephiroth parked the car near the outskirts and opened the back door to unbuckle Alice. “No!” She howled, kicking and wriggling when she was pulled from her seat. “Home! Home now!”

“Stop screaming! I’m not raising to behave so spoilt.”

“Not spoilt, Sephiroth, ill.” Posie corrected him, matching his pace. “Will there even be anyone there this early?”

‘We have an arrangement.’ He rang Sunnycare’s doorbell, Kate quickly opened it, she obviously wasn’t a morning person, Sephiroth could smell the fresh coffee on her and saw how exhausted her expression was.

“My, what’s all this racket?” She reached out to stroke Alice’s hair.

“No!” Alice turned away.

“She’s not happy this morning.” Sephiroth began pulling her arms off his neck; she clung to him like a second skin! Screaming the entire time as he tried to hand her over, barely able to hear Kate over the noise. He hoped they wouldn’t catch on that she was sick, though it was obvious.

“I’ll return this evening, I’ll call before I arrive!” He called over the screeching as Kate held Alice, struggling to keep her footing as Alice reached out for him. He backed away, making his escape. “I put instructions in her bag, we’re having problems with the science department, if anyone from Shinra turns up, call me!”

“What?” Kate called, unable to hear him over the screaming.

“I’ll call you!” He fled to his car and drove off, his ears ringing. He was grateful for the silent journey, the roads not as crowded, he allowed himself to breathe.

“Instructions?” The car swerved when Posie materialized and exclaimed. “The only thing protecting our daughter from Hojo is a phone number in her backpack? Does Kate even know what he looks like? This is Hojo we’re talking about! He could send anyone to get her at any time the moment he knows where she is!”

“We’ll have an even bigger problem if you get me killed on the road!” He frowned. “I’m taking care of it!” He pulled up to the Shinra building and exited the car. “If you would give me one day to appear sane I would be grateful.” He told her, bending down to look at her. He slammed the door and she was gone.

“You are late!” The nasal voice announced when the Shinra Building’s doors slid open and Sephiroth hurried in. Hojo had been waiting there for him, for quite a long time, it seemed. “The agreement for your entering SOLDIER was that you would adhere to its strict regime!” He followed Sephiroth’s march.

“I was six.”

“Where is Project A-1? I went to your apartment two hours ago! You weren’t there!”

“Alice is out of your reach.”

“I don’t think you realise how rare this specimen is!”

“I don’t think you realise that I don’t care.”

“You’re awfully feisty today.” Hojo complained. “DO NOT TURN YOUR BACK ON ME!” He grabbed Sephiroth’s shoulder and forced him to turn. In a green glow of Lifestream, Masamune materialized in Sephiroth’s hand, Hojo took a step back, the blade on his shoulder, aimed at his neck.

“…Back off.” Sephiroth snarled. Hojo flinched when he flicked his wrist, sighed when the blade disappeared and Sephiroth abandoned him.

“Still want to appear sane?” Posie joined his side when he entered the lift and the doors slid closed.

“Shut up.”

***

Genesis and Angeal were already in Lazard’s office when Sephiroth arrived, Lazard was standing, never a good sign.

“You are late.” Genesis reprimanded.

“I know.”

“We’ve been waiting for you.” Lazard said. “The war in Wutai has taken a devastating turn, the Shinra Company has issued a code red and decided to send its best Soldier’s into the Country. Genesis, Angeal, you will leave at once,” they nodded, “Sephiroth, arrangements have been made with Shinra’s Redgrave Orphanage –”

“No.” Sephiroth interrupted. “I already have arrangements for Alice. I have her go-bag at home. I just need to get her to Banora.”

“Banora?” Angeal frowned.

Sephiroth nodded. “Yes.”

Lazard laced his fingers together. “I can make arrangements with the Turk’s to get her there.”

He shook his head. “I’ll take her myself. Hojo has made it clear that he wants her back, I will keep her as far away from Shinra affiliations as possible.”

“Understandable.” Lazard agreed. “If you can bring her here and ready yourself within the hour, I may be able to pull some strings and allow her on the helicopter, Reno should be willing to make a stop in Banora, but you will have to sign a consent form.”

He nodded. “I’ll be back.”

Angeal followed him into the hall, approaching the lift; Sephiroth was already dialling Sunnycare’s number. “So when did you tell my mother you’d be leaving Alice with her?” He spoke his assumptions.

“Sometime within the next ten minutes.”

His assumptions were confirmed. “Sephiroth!” Angeal scolded as the lift doors separated him from Sephiroth.
Headed towards his locker, he dialled his mother’s phone number. “Mother… it’s me… yeah, listen…”

Sephiroth collected Alice as quickly as he could; he hurried back to the apartment and left her in the car to collect her go-bag, coat and Pancake. There was nothing special in her go-bag, her birth certificate, a zip-lock of toiletries and three changes of clothes. Only last week he had added a signed paper of what was to be done with her should he be KIA or MIA. None of them involving Shinra.

The journey was quiet but his mind was reeling, things were about to change, he thought he would have more time before this moment arrived but he had been so occupied with Alice’s recovery he hadn’t made complete arrangements for her care in his absence.

“We were about to call you!” Kate told him, stood at the open door when he pulled his car up to the curb. “She’s not well!”

“I know.” He exited the car and up the steps. “I’m here to get her. She won’t be in until further notice, I’m being deployed.”

“Deployed? Where will she go?” Kate hurried inside, concerned.
She led him to a small spare room, looking around Sephiroth supposed it was a sick room. He gathered Alice off the bed, sleeping soundly she didn’t stir when he moved her.

“To family.” He lied, well, it wasn’t really a lie; he never said who’s family.

Kate saw him out. “I hope you’ll stay safe, Sephiroth.”

He left her with a smug smile, eager to get back to the Shinra Building.

***

Alice woke up when she was carried her onto the Shinra Building’s roof, the wind and the whirring of the helicopter had her in a state of fear, one moment she had been in a soft bed, the next she was carried into a helicopter and was tightly strapped in the seat nearest the back.

Sephiroth hadn’t thought that it might be frightening for her, the static of the radio, the sound of the engine, SOLDIER’S and Turks chattering, Shinra personnel coming and going. ‘It’s for the best.’ He told himself, sat beside her as the helicopter lifted off the ground.

“What do you have on you?” Genesis asked, facing him from the seat opposite.

Sephiroth frowned, his phone ready to call Gillian. “Clothes.”

Genesis would have smiled had he not been so serious. “I mean you should give Alice as a keepsake, something to remember you by. Who knows what could happen when we approach Wutai?”

Genesis’ words were unpleasant but true.

“Hello?”

Sephiroth held the phone to his ear. “Hello Aunt Gillian,”

“Sephiroth! Angeal said you would call.”

His eyes flickered to Angeal’s irritated face, eyes closed, arms crossed, brow furrowed. “Angeal already called you?”

“He told me you’ll be stopping by later today. He tells me all about Alice in his letters.”

He felt as awkward as a scolded teenager. “I was going to call you sooner,” he mumbled.

“If you were going to do that you already would have. I’ve already made Alice’s bed up. But… what should I do if…? If you…?” She couldn’t bring herself to say it.

“I’ve left instructions in Alice’s bag. My signature is on the paper if you run into legal trouble… I recommend getting a personal copy should one go missing.”

“Alright… Alice, what’s she like?”

He glanced at her. “She’s sick right now, she’s… a child.”

“Be more specific!”

“She has issues.” He quirked a brow.

“Oh Sephiroth! You are hopeless. What does she like? What doesn’t she like? Do you even know?”

He closed his eyes. “Would you like to speak to her?”

“Does she know she’s coming here?”

“I haven’t told her yet.”

“You should. But yes, I would like to speak with her.”

“Alice,” Sephiroth pressed the phone to her ear, surprising the already unhappy child; “this is Angeal’s mother, your Aunt Gillian. We’re going to see her today, say hello.”

Alice continued to chew Pancake’s ear, huddled in her seat she ignored the phone.

“Is that little Miss Alice?” Gillian asked.

Alice didn’t reply.

“Say hello.” Sephiroth pressed. “Don’t be rude.”

“You don’t have to talk to me if you don’t want to.” Gillian told her, hearing Alice’s unhappy whimper. “I only wanted to say hello. Goodbye Alice.”

Sephiroth heard her hang up and flipped the phone shut. “I hope you liked Aunt Gillian. We’re going to see her very soon.”

“… I wants go home…” Her lips quivered and her red eyes watered. Puffy from previous wails, her face was a heart-breaking picture.

“No.” Sephiroth cleared his voice. “I have to go to work so I’m sending you… on vacation.” He carefully chose his words. “You’re going to stay with Aunt Gillian while I’m at work, just like you stay at day care.”

Her face crumpled. “No! Wan’ home!” She grabbed onto him and tried her best to lean into him. “Wan go home now! Now!”

He rolled his eyes. “Alice –”

“NOW!” Large devastated tears rolled down her face, splattering onto his leathers.

“Stop crying. You don’t want Aunt Gillian to see you upset do you? Alice?”

Alice sobbed until she choked. Her perfectly wet face left a long string of snot on his coat… the string connecting them nose to coat even after he sat her upright.

“We’ll be there in five.” Reno’s voice echoed through the speaker.

Sephiroth watched the concrete metropolis below them fade into a patchwork of farmland, the City pollution left behind. “You’ll like Aunt Gillian,” he reassured her as the helicopter landed outside the village so as not to draw attention, “she’s nice.” He unbuckled himself and her.

Alice’s bottom lip stuck out in despair, her large puppy eyes drooped and her tomato-like cheeks swelled with discomfort. Sephiroth wished she’d smile… it could be the last time he’d ever see it.

“No long stops,” Rude told him, “if you’re not back here in fifteen, we’ll leave without you.”

Sephiroth’s expression spoke the words his mouth couldn’t, making sure he had all Alice’s things as he walked the dirt roads and into the village.

To his relief, Alice gradually stopped crying, amazed by all the trees and birds, the wildlife humming around them. Spring had begun; Banora was at its best.

“This is a dumb apple.” He pulled the fruit off the tree, orange until the summer set in and it would turn blue. “I’m allergic to these, so you can eat them only until I come back.” In the back of his mind he wondered whether Alice had inherited his allergy. Gillian would know what to do if she had.

The workers in the field stopped to stare. They knew him from his previous visits, but the appearance of Alice, her likeness to him, had them mesmerized.

“This is Aunt Gillian’s house.” He knocked on the door, ignoring the villagers prying eyes. “Do you like it? It’s snug.”

“Sephiroth?” Gillian opened the door. “It’s been so long!” She hugged him, un-phased by how his whole body stiffened, she was used to it.

“It’s good to see you again, Aunt Gillian.” Sephiroth greeted. He hadn’t seen her since Posie’s funeral. That day, he hadn’t spoken to her but watched her crying from a distance. He hadn’t spoken to anyone that day.

“You’re Alice, aren’t you?” Gillian smiled at Alice; she was clinging onto her father for dear life, her small hands trembling.

“She’s shy. There’s money in the bag for her, it should cover every expense.”

“Can you stay a while?”

He shook his head, ready to hand Alice over he was surprised to feel a pang of… something… in his gut. But he ignored it and pulled her off him to stand her on the ground. There, she clung to his leg, unwilling to let go or even look at Gillian. “This is for you.” He knelt down to hand her a level one barrier materia, ignoring how she clung to his neck and tried to scamper up his body. “It keeps me safe in battle. It will keep you safe too, until I come back.” He pushed her away to hand the green orb to her. “Be a good girl for Aunt Gillian.” He stood up, ready to leave.

“NO!” She dropped the orb to grab his leg, clinging to him as she had the day he’d found her.

“I’ll come back soon.” He pulled at her hands, trying not to bruise her as Gillian took hold of her. She even tried to keep her legs wrapped around his shin; it was like trying to escape an octopus.

“Daddy! Daddy!”

Sephiroth couldn’t understand why hearing Alice scream after him hurt him somewhere deep inside. It wasn’t the fear he’d felt when he’d seen Posie beaten and burnt, it wasn’t the sorrow he experienced when his men died on the field. It was a feeling trapped somewhere between the two, and he didn’t know what to call it.

Chapter Text

Alice fought Gillian’s soothing grip, wailing until her throat was raw and Sephiroth was out of sight, the sound of the helicopter was long gone as was her energy.

“It’s alright!” Gillian comforted her, not willing to say he was coming back… what if he didn’t? “Let’s go inside. Everything will be alright.”

Gillian’s home was humbly put together with love. There were two bedrooms upstairs, the bathroom and the kitchen were downstairs, warmed by the stove and its scent of home cooking. Though this did little to comfort Alice, sat at the table, her face puffy and wet as she hugged Pancake until its head swelled with all the stuffing.

Gillian heated fresh milk and flavoured it with honey from the bee farm behind the house, the honeycomb a free gift from her friend. The milk was the surplus from the cows; milk that didn’t make it into cheese or bottles was gifted to the village each morning. She wouldn’t complain about her life, she had chosen it.

She knew how to deal with upset children, her own heart breaking as Alice cried. “This will make you feel better.” She promised, putting the cup of milk on the table. She lifted Alice off the chair and sat her on her lap, very aware of the way she froze, quietened and began to shake from head to toe, just as Sephiroth had when he had first met her.

“No one here is going to hurt you.” She reassured her. “You’re here to have fun. There are so many things to do and you’ll make so many friends. Angeal said you like animals, there are a lot of rabbits here, pretty birds and the butterflies will be coming out soon. And it’s lambing season, I’m sure you’ll love all the baby animals. The lambs are so fluffy, like clouds, and the lady next door has six little kittens, if you’re gentle she’ll let you play with them.”

Alice seemed to calm a little, her racing heartbeat slowed and she had stopping biting her knuckles, lightly sucking on them instead.

“Drink your milk; it will make you feel much better. Then we’ll unpack your things and talk about all the fun things you’re going to do.” She held the cup to Alice’s mouth, watching bubbles rise as Alice sobbed into the cup, her eyes drooping as she cried herself to sleep.

Gillian stroked her hair as she slept. “You’re so like Sephiroth it’s scary.” She carried her upstairs, taking the small bag with her.

Angeal’s room was opposite Gillian’s. It was as dated as the rest of the house. Little had changed in his room. The single bed frame was worn down; stab marks from Buster Sword in the floor were covered by an old tattered rug. The white country walls were decorated with photos and achievements, the medal Angeal had won in the school race, ‘secret’ notes from Genesis were pinned to the beam above his bed. It was nothing special, just a time capsule of the child Gillian had raised into a man.
But the bedroom draws were empty, quickly filled with Alice’s things; it reminded her of how empty the room had been since Angeal had left, so she allowed herself the small selfish happiness of sharing her home again.

Alice cried in her sleep, Gillian noticed, sat beside her on the bed. She had placed Alice under the covers, drawn the curtains and in the dim light read through Sephiroth’s instructions, a list of Alice’s behaviour; a story of what she came from and instructions on what to do in case of his capture… or demise.

“I’m impressed…” she admired the paper, “he actually thought this through. He must really love you.” She quietly said as if her voice could stop Alice’s tears. “So, according to him and my son, you survived Hojo… but you are scared of his name… Well done little girl! Not many live to be afraid of him, I am so happy you’re safe now.” She wiped the crusting mucus framing bubbling snot from Alice’s nose. “Ginger and carrots will fix this cold; I’ll have to tell your father all my secrets when he comes back…” Her face became sad. “I’m sure he will come back. But that’s my secret. Goodnight Alice.” She left her side to roam her kitchen.

She wasn’t surprised to hear a knock on her door as it opened. No one locked their doors in Banora, it was a safe place. Lucia arrived every day for tea and gossip at two o’clock, bringing tasty goodies with her, various flavoured teas, cookies from distant stores… and the latest gossip.

“Is it true?”

Gillian took the kettle off the stove before it could whistle. “Yes Lucia, it is. And she’s sleeping upstairs so be quiet.”

About the same age as Gillian with a head of dyed black locks, Lucia put her basket of goods on the table. “How long have you known you sly vixen? Keeping it from everyone for so long? The whole village is talking about it.”

“You mean Genesis didn’t tell you?” She smiled, knowing her son kept better communication with her than Genesis with his parents.

“You know that boy sends me his annual letter full of internet phrases. He probably Moogles ‘what to write to your mother’ and prints it off!”

“Internet, Moogle? Someone’s educated herself overnight.” Gillian put the two cups on the table and the pot of tea in the middle.

“One of the local children called me old, but never mind that! Tell me about the girl!”

Gillian poured the tea and snooped through the basket to see what treats Lucia had brought. “Yes, she is Sephiroth’s daughter, only two years old.”

Lucia put a hand on hers, her face girlish with shock. “Hojo’s granddaughter?”

“Yes.” Gillian nodded, coming to life with conversation. “And she looks just like Posie.”

“Are you sure she’s not really related to Genesis?” Lucia joked, unfolding the tinfoil package of warm gingerbread men. “Lungs like thunder! She screamed so loud I could hear her from my house. I thought Loxley had got his hand stuck in the wood chipper again!”

Gillian laughed as quietly as she could. Sephiroth had informed her in his letter that Alice was a light sleeper prone to nightmares. “No. Just devastated to leave Sephiroth; and she’s not well. She’s such a tiny little thing, I don’t know what I was expecting but she’s not it.”

“Expecting? So how long have you known about her?”

“Since Sephiroth found her in January. Angeal told me all about it. I know your next question already, but Angeal swore me to secrecy, just know that yes, the child is definitely Posie’s. They ran a DNA test.”

“Goodness!” Lucia gasped. “How did he find her?”

“Hojo gave her to him. The poor little thing, she was in such a bad state she was hospitalized for over a week.”

“She was staying with Hojo?”

“In a way. She was in one of his labs.”

Lucia gasped. “Is she… normal? He didn’t…? Not like he did to the others?”

“Heavens no! No!” Gillian replied, shaking her head. “But she’s disturbed by everything else that monster did. Angeal said she’s afraid of his very name. Sephiroth told me in his letter so I know it’s not an exaggeration. Angeal told me that they mentioned Hojo’s name in front of her once, the little thing was terrified.”

“Why did you keep this to yourself? Why didn’t you tell me about her?” Lucia sounded a little hurt.

“I couldn’t. Angeal told me in confidence; I could only tell you after Sephiroth felt I’d the right to know. He only contacted me on his way here.”

Lucia huffed. “Men! Even Genesis kept it to himself.”

Gillian smiled. “He’s waiting for your birthday like he does every time he writes a letter.”

“Well he had better write something different this time. I’ve had exactly the same letter since he was thirteen. I think he has a stash of the same letter in a draw and just sends one out every year.” She paused. “So, she’s not what you expected and looks like her mother. How is she different?”

“Keep in mind I don’t know Alice yet.” She poured more tea into their half-empty cups. “She’s much smaller than I thought, very skinny. I could lift her with one arm! I was told that she was in hospital because her feet were cut open and is still having treatment, but she found the strength to grip Sephiroth as if he was leaving her with an axe murderer.”

“Not as timid as you thought then?” Lucia drank from her cup, adding more milk as an afterthought.

“No, she’s more timid than I thought. Sephiroth said she was shy but she was shaking from head to toe when she arrived and went stiff when I touched her.”

“Just like Sephiroth used to!” Lucia noted.

Gillian nodded. “She was chewing her fists too.”

“Just like Posie!” Lucia gasped.

Gillian nodded. “And she has the rabbit.”

“Did Sephiroth give it to her?”

“He must have. He left her with a Barrier Materia too, such a nice idea, he said it would keep her safe.”

“Aw! That is sweet.”

They looked up when they heard the bedroom floor creak above them. “She must be awake.” Gillian noticed. “I’ll go see to her. Wait here, if she’s still upset I might take her to see the kittens next door.”

“That’s a good idea. I’ll go and check it’s alright.” Lucia left, taking a few of the snacks with her as a bargaining tool, but everyone wanted a view of Sephiroth’s daughter, no one would turn her away.

“Alice?” Gillian looked about the room. The bed was empty, the pillow was wet, she would have heard the door creak open had Alice left the room.

Gillian knelt down and looked under the bed. Two wide green scared eyes stared back at her; Alice was curled into a ball, shaking all over. “It’s alright Alice. Do you want to come out from under there?” Alice’s trembling worsened. “You don’t have to, you can come out whenever you’re ready. There are some sweets downstairs if you want them,” Alice seemed to take more interest when food was mentioned, “I’ll leave the door open.” Gillian left the room, leaving the door open just as she said she would.

If Alice was anything like her parents she would soon follow. Memories of a similar event flooded Gillian’s senses, memories of a little boy and girl, older than Alice, but just as fearful.

Gillian’s worst decision had been affiliation with Shinra. She had fled from the Company, fled from Hollander, taking their son with her before something terrible could be done to him. She sought peace… it didn’t last long. When Angeal was seven, they arrived.

“You?” Gillian, much younger, paled when she opened the front door. Hojo already stood in its way, unwilling to let it close. “Leave!”

“I won’t!” He squawked. “After all these year’s you have finally been found! Do you want the brat taken away from you? All that stands between you and Shinra is me.”

“What do you want?” Gillian suddenly felt very small and very afraid.

“There is not a scientist in the world who will not steal my findings! I need somewhere to leave them whilst I am away and be sure that they will be studied and the findings returned to me.”

“And you want me to do it?”

His grin was crooked and toothy. “If you don’t I will tell Hollander where to find you, you will never see your spawn again! Take care of my specimens and document them in my absence and I will keep you safe.”

Gillian thought… but really, she’d no other choice. “What is this specimen?”

Hojo moved aside. Stood behind him were two small children, a silver-haired boy with Hojo’s brow and long face, a blond girl stood beside him, her green eyes brighter than the boys. They were nervous, no more than four years old, holding hands, too scared to look up aside from the occasional worried glance every time Hojo moved. They were dressed similarly… carelessly. Dungarees and badly tied shoes on the wrong feet. Wearing T-shirts she could see the bruises on their arms, the markings on their necks, the needle punctures in their elbows. She couldn’t turn them away, not for her sake but for theirs.

“Alright. But if Hollander finds me, I will tell him everything!”

“Ha! I know you would! Only you are second to me in the scientific world! Even I never thought you would give it up, not for something so trivial!”

She frowned. “My son is not trivial! When will you be coming back for them?”

“In a month. They have everything they need.” He reached back to grab the boys silver hair and pull him forth. “This one is easily provoked by the other.” The boy squirmed in his grip, his hair held tight to the scalp so he had to stand on his tiptoes. “For some reason they are at their worst behaved when together, separate rooms and a good beating usually sorts them out!”

“That won’t be necessary!” Gillian frowned. “What am I supposed to be documenting exactly?”

Again, Hojo grinned, his face full of pride. “This one is Project S.”

Gillian’s mouth fell open. “I call him Sephiroth… at his mother’s bequest.” The girl had timidly approached to hold Sephiroth’s hand again, the only act of comfort for his distress. “But the girl is unique. She is the original Ancient. There are only two pure blooded ones left on the planet. Considering your failed replica of a child, I trust you know what to look for in them?”

Gillian blinked, finally finding words. Where had Hojo found an Ancient? A complete one at that! Where had she come from? How was the boy different than her? “Y-yes…”

“Excellent!” He released Sephiroth and let his arm fall to his side. “I will be back in September. Remember, if anything happens to them, or they are not here when I return, you will not escape Shinra again!” He waved his finger in her face and left, leaving two very frightened children on her door step.

Gillian ushered them inside and closed the door, wondering where to begin, what would she tell her husband? What would she tell her son? Her train of thought ended when Sephiroth began crying, his little chest heaving in fear. The little girl… Hojo hadn’t mentioned her name, had her arms around him, trying to comfort him. In her hand, the skin mangled with bite marks, fresh blood and old scabs, she held a soft toy rabbit by the ear, the only toy shared between the two of them. Hojo said they had everything they needed, but no bag had been left, not a single thing aside from the two of them and the stuffed toy.

She wondered what to say. The closer she watched them the worse they looked. “It’s alright.” She reached out to stroke the boy’s head.

He flinched and cried louder. She didn’t move her hand; he went completely stiff, silent and began to tremble, the little girl held him tighter, panicking as she cried into his short silver hair. She brought her fist to her mouth, chewing on her knuckles until bright red smears stained her lips.

“Come, come.” Gillian knelt down and stretched her arms around them, not caring that it frightened them more; the fear would only be temporary. “You’re here to have fun.” She told them. “There is so much to do here… this is your… vacation.” She carefully searched for the word. “No one here is going to hurt you. There are so many things to do here, do you like animals? The rabbits come out to play on nice days like this. There are pretty birds and butterflies to chase. The lambs are old enough to play with now and they’re so fluffy…” She ignored the lump in her throat, blinking the tears from her own eyes. “And at night, the fireflies come out. They light everything up like fairies. Everything will be alright. Everything.” She said, more for herself than them.

She sat them at the table and gave them the last of the milk to calm them down, she had to water it down to fill the glasses so tried to thicken it with the honey her husband had brought home as a treat. The poor things were too scared to move, every noise startled them, the girl fell out of her seat and hid beneath the table when the kettle whistled, the boy covered his ears and curled into a tight ball when the neighbour’s dog barked.

Finally calmer, they sat in silence, silent glances were shared between the two, Gillian noticed, and wondered whether Hojo had considered the possibility of a telepathic connection between Ancients.
She pondered her own morals, her conscience. Would it be right to document them? To give her findings to Hojo? One glance at the smiling face of Angeal in the photo frame answered everything. ‘If I do this I can make them happy.’ She justified it.

The look on her husband’s face when he got home, exhausted and muddy from working in the fields, a little sunburnt, his calloused hands blistered, was… interesting.. “…You didn’t tell me you were expecting again. They were a well-kept secret.” He tried to joke… badly.

Gillian shook her head. “Don’t joke about it.” Sat at the table with them, she looked at the little girl, chewing her knuckles again. She had seemed the braver of the two but now Daemon was home her attitude had changed, her bravery vanquished.

Chewing both fists with nervous vigour, the chair creaked as her legs shook, the blood drained from her face and she refused to look up from her lap, her hair fell from behind her ears like a curtain, separating her from the room.

Gillian glanced to the boy, his breathing very even as he looked from Daemon to his friend with dreaded expectancy.

“Daemon,” Gillian didn’t dare move for fear of startling them, “you should g –”

“What’s wrong with them?” Concerned, he took a step forward.

One step – that was all it took for the girl to leap off her chair and run! Frantically looking for a safe escape she scrambled up the stairs, Sephiroth quick on her heels.

Gillian and Daemon heard the floors creak upstairs. Angeal’s room.

“Hojo brought them here.” Gillian explained.

“Oh.” Daemon understood, no more needed to be said.

“They’re like Angeal. But Hojo raised them. He found me.” She held her head in her hands and wept. Daemon was quick by her side, rubbing her back. “He says he’s going to tell Hollander, I’ll lose Angeal if I don’t do as he says!”

“What does he want you to do?”

“To study and care for the children until September. He’s coming back for them then!”

Daemon quietly crouched beside her, as caring as Angeal would become. “Maybe that’s not a bad thing? Looks like they need care.”

She looked up from her hands, eyes puffy and swollen. “How do I know he’s telling the truth? He could have brought them here to keep us grounded while he sends the whole of Shinra after us!”

“Then either way we’re stuck. If he’s coming after us, he’s gonna do it anyway.”

She sniffled. “You don’t know him like I do.”

“But I know you. You can cope with anything.”

She nodded, given the strength she needed she wiped her eyes. “The little girl was scared of you. You should go. Tell Exodus and Lucia what’s happening; perhaps Angeal should spend the night at your parents? I’ll go make sure they’re alright.”

Daemon smiled and rested his forehead against hers. “That’s my girl.” He kissed the top of her head and left.

Gillian washed her face in the tap water, cleared her throat and climbed the stairs, pushing the worst of her worries aside.
She found Angeal’s room as he had left it, but they were in there, she could hear the quiet breathing and creaking floorboards.

She knelt beside the bed and looked underneath. “Children,” she quietly called, announcing her presence. Sephiroth’s frightened green eyes stared back at her. He was holding the little girl, curled into him as he curled around her, they fit as perfectly as the yin and yang, “it’s alright. Can you come out from under there?” The trembling worsened, a choked sob escaped the little girl, she had been holding her breath. “You don’t have to. You can come out whenever you’re ready. The man has gone away now, and there’s food downstairs if you’re hungry.”
The boy didn’t stop staring at her, but his expression changed a little. “I’ll leave the door open.” Gillian stood and left the door open just as she said she would.
She waited beside it, her back to the wall; listening to them should they speak.

“Don’t let him get me!” She heard one of them sob.

“It’s ok.” The voice was somewhat calmer. She supposed it was the boy.

“Don’ wants to do it again… Tell him not to do it!” The little girl sobbed louder. Gillian rolled her eyes with dread, the realisation hitting her, sickening her, and her brain trying to reject the knowledge. She raised her hands to her face again.

“Ok.” Sephiroth replied.

Stood against the wall beside the door, Gillian heard the floor creak as Alice slid out from under the bed and timidly walk to the doorway. There, she looked up at Gillian, not expecting her to be there. “Do you want some sweets Alice?” She held her hand out and Alice slipped her chewed hand into it.

“Do you want something to eat?” She looked down at the two children, almost crouched in the doorway, staring up at her, not expecting her to be there.
Gillian outstretched her hand, relieved when the little girl slipped her gnawed hand into it. “What is your name? Mine is Gillian.”

The little girl was obviously unsure whether to reply or not, she hung her head and Sephiroth stretched his arms around her. “She doesn’t want to!” He announced.

Gillian shook her head. “She doesn’t have to.” The little girl kept her hand in hers as they walked down the stairs, she didn’t know her name, but it was a start.

Walking down the stairs with Alice’s hand in hers, Gillian expected her hand to be young and wrinkle free… but it was aged, every wrinkle a memory of endurance.
She didn’t know Alice’s whole story, she didn’t have her full trust… but this was a start.

Chapter Text

Alice had crammed three gingerbread men into her mouth before going next door to admire the kittens, tabby cats, eleven weeks old – old enough to be played with. She was happy to just sit among them, stroking those that wandered closest, giggling at the grey one stretched on its back reaching up to play with her hand.

The cat owner, Rey, sat between Lucia and Gillian, like three hawks, staring at Alice as if she had two heads.

“…Someone has to say it.” Mrs Rey brazenly announced, dressed all in black she looked akin to a crow.
She was the oldest woman in the village, an oracle to the children, a devoted widow and spectacle of older times to their parents. “The child is too small, too skinny and stranger than both her parents put together!” She emphasised with a stomp of her cane. Alice stared at it; her frightened eyes were quickly distracted by the ginger kitten stood on its hind legs pawing at her hair.

Lucia rolled her eyes. “She is both her parents put together. And she can hear you.”

“What did you say?”

“I said she can hear you!”

“I cannot hear you!” Rey scolded. “You young women… you don’t form your words properly!” She moved her hand, imitating a mouth, frowning in the only way an oracle of a woman can.

“We understand, Mrs Rey.” Gillian patted her hand before the old woman could get anymore distressed. “I think the kittens are getting tired.” She stood, unwilling to say Alice was anxious or lie that she was tired for fear of a lecture. “I’ll take Alice home and get her something to eat. It was good to see you.”

“Take care dears.” She kissed them each goodbye.

“Come along Alice, the kittens are ready to have their nap.” Gillian ushered Alice out the door. “That lady can’t hear much,” She told her as soon as the door was closed, “that’s why she speaks so loudly.” She held her hand, stroking the scabbing, gnawed skin with her thumb.

“…Do’n‘ke‘ck.” Alice mumbled.

Gillian bent her neck. “What? Say that again.”

Alice chewed her other hand. “D’on’ ‘ike stick.” (I don’t like the stick.)

“That’s to help her walk,” Lucia explained, “to stop her falling over.”

“Oh…”

Gillian smiled with a relived sigh, Alice had begun speaking. “Did you like playing with the kittens?”

The side of Alice’s mouth pulled up a little. “…Soft…”

“They were soft?” Gillian was eager for another response.

Alice nodded.

“Well, which one was your favourite?” Lucia encouraged.

Alice hugged Pancake to her chest. “’White one.”

Gillian smiled. “That’s my favourite too.”

“Lucia!” Alice hid behind Gillian’s skirt when a tall man marched towards them, his brown hair bouncing with his brazen stride. “Is it true?”

“Keep your voice down!” Lucia hushed. “You’re scaring her!”

He stopped and awkwardly glanced down at Alice, looking as perplexed as he was guilty. “Why didn’t Genesis tell us?”

Lucia put her hands on her hips. “Because he’s Genesis!”

He crossed his arms. “I thought we should have a bonfire in the field tonight,” he looked to Gillian, “to end the spectacle in one blow.”

Gillian nodded; her hand on Alice’s head. “That would be good. She is very shy.”

“That’s not good, we don’t do shy in Banora!” He stared down at Alice’s little fist gripping Gillian’s skirt.

“We should leave them, Exodus.” Lucia took hold of his arm. “Let Alice get ready for a nap. See you later Gillian.” She called over her shoulder as she pulled Exodus home. “I’ll tell you all about it on the way home,” she whispered, “you won’t believe it!”

With the discerning eyes of Angeal, Gillian watched them leave, she watched the twitching curtains in the windows, the way people ‘suddenly’ found something interesting in the flower pot outside their front doors or left their work to wander by; casting their curious gazes upon Alice several times before retracing their footsteps like homing pigeons.

“You’ll feel better after a sleep.” She led Alice inside the house and closed the door on prying eyes.

***

“The situation is dire.” Heidegger announced, a blue flickering hologram busk of him hovered before Sephiroth, Genesis and Angeal, they had not long stepped onto the barge, the helicopter settled behind them. “It is to be handed by any means possible, the battle moral status swapped. Wutai’s army is disciplined and taking full advantage of our inexperienced Thirds Classes. There are rumours that Wutai has hired Avalanche Terrorists to assist them. Those rumours are to be eradicated, am I clear?”

“Yes Sir!”

“Be ready to dock in twelve-hundred hours at Camp D. Dismissed.” The hologram flickered off with a shrinking flash.

“Shinra should have let me do my job.” Sephiroth grumbled, headed into the barge to avoid the spray of the sea. “I told them the men weren’t ready for war!”

Genesis followed him. “They’re cannon fodder, Sephiroth. You know how this works. Only a handful of the army make it to SOLDIER, how else could Shinra send their best into battle and ensure they’ll return? The weakest are placed on the front lines, the elite are picked from the survivors and considered worthy of the SOLDIER name. It may seem barbaric but it works.”

“It’s sadistic.” Angeal scowled.

“Every war has its fatalities. Wasn’t it the same for us?” Genesis grinned.

“Camp D is the old labour camp.” Sephiroth quietly said, stopping in his tracks.

Angeal stopped beside him. “You haven’t been there since…” He put a hand on his shoulder. “Can you do this? I remember your stories.”

Sephiroth tightened his arms and stared down at his feet. “They weren’t stories.”

“The labour camp is in the process of being converted into barracks.” Genesis said. “I doubt there’ll be much of it you remember.”

“They’re just memories.” The SOLDIER in Sephiroth overrode his emotions as he shook his head. “It’s the state of the army we should be concerned about. We can’t fight the war without manpower.”

“Be sure you’re sure you’re ready.” Angeal persisted. “You have history in that camp. If you show any sign of weakness, if you falter, the men will lose the last of their respect. You heard Heidegger, you must be fierce.”

He smirked and raised his head. “I have a two year old, I am always fierce.”

***

The whole village turned out for the bonfire, a tall heap of dead winter branches set ablaze to make way for springtime’s growth. Potatoes in tinfoil cooked beneath the fire, children anxiously pierced marshmallows on sticks and a ball was kicked back and forth between the liveliest villagers.

The excited chatter died as Gillian approached, carrying Alice, desperately attempting to hide herself in Gillian’s thin neck.

Lucia hurried to them as the villagers chatter died, desperate to make them feel welcome and less conspicuous. She gave Alice a marshmallow that immediately disappeared into her mouth, gradually, the villagers stopped staring and began their lively conversing again.

“Go and make a friend.” Gillian set Alice on the grass and followed Lucia across the field.

Alice didn’t move; gripping Pancake beneath her chin, she didn’t leave Gillian’s side, hurrying after her like a lost little penguin.

There weren’t many children in Banora, none were Alice’s age but she wasn’t the youngest there. She only stopped following Gillian to gape down at the baby squirming in the vintage basket.

“His name’s Jake.” The baby’s mother told her, leaving her company to kneel beside the basket. “Did you want to say hello?”

Alice didn’t reply; she stared until the baby whined. Horrified she scurried to Gillian, tripping over her own feet.

“She looks like Posie.” Someone commented.

“Really? Look at her mouth, she looks like Sephiroth.”

“She’s so skinny it’s gross!” SMACK!

“Marco!” The insulting boy held his head as his grandmother scolded him.

“Well she is! And look at her hands!”

“There’s nothing wrong with her hands, be nice!”

“…Posie had hands like that.” Marco’s grandfather scratched his chin.

“Ignore them.” Lucia handed Gillian the mug of hot chocolate. “Give them a day and they’ll be used to her. Remember when Sephiroth and Posie first arrived?”

“I remember all too well.” She watched Alice staring at the wavering bonfire, surrounded by (supposedly) childproof netting, and leap out of her skin when Jake wailed. “Nothing changes, does it? Listen, they’re still the talk of the village.”

Lucia smiled. “Only because of Alice. People are wondering how she… happened.” She raised a questioning brow.

“That’s Sephiroth’s business.”

“But people want to know, and with the history of this place the oldest residents are curious... They want to know if this has anything to do with Project S or G. They were placed here under house arrest for it; that does stuff to your mind.”

“The people will have to remain curious.” Alice ran to her, whimpering, arms outstretched. “Alice, it was just a noise.”

“I wan’ daddy!” Alice shrilled.

“Why?” Marco stood near them, his face twisted into mischievous teases. “He’s gone to war! He’s gonna die!”

“Marco!” Lucia scolded.

“Well he is!” He shrugged.

“Enough!” She grabbed his ear. “Where are your parents?” She pulled him aside, ignoring his yells of discomfort.

“Ignore him.” Gillian told Alice. “Marco is just a troublemaker, like his mother. Why don’t you go back to Jake? His mother will give you another marshmallow.” She encouraged her with a gentle push.

“I remember the first time I met Posie and Sephiroth,” Exodus approached behind Gillian, “that girl was so skittish and then so wild! …She gave Genesis a bloody nose the first time she met him.”

“He deserved it. That was at a bonfire like this, wasn’t it?” Gillian recalled, taking a sip of her hot chocolate. “Angeal ate so many marshmallows he got sick, Sephiroth thought he was going to die.”

“Yes,” Exodus chuckled, “Posie and Sephiroth… they improved drastically. Their little one will too as soon as she gets used to Banora and our ways. After all, isn’t time just repeating itself?”

“There is a difference. Posie and Sephiroth had each other. Alice is alone.”

“Not alone,” Exodus watched Alice edge close enough to Jake’s mother to snatch a marshmallow and avoid the sleeping baby before he could wake, “she’ll be working from Sephiroth’s notes!”

The corner of Gillian’s mouth lifted when she saw Alice worriedly eyeing Jake, squirming in his sleep, head on his mother’s shoulder. Then her wide green eyes darted to the bag of marshmallows and she inched closer again, her hand wantonly outstretched. “Is that such a bad thing?”

He shrugged. “Depends on the notes”

Alice bravely offered Jake a marshmallow, pushing the pink fluffy gelatine to his chubby face.

“No sweetie,” his mother stopped her, “he’s too young. He has no teeth yet.”

Alice’s mouth fell open and the marshmallow fell from her hand, she quickly sat on the picnic blanket to pick it back up and stuff it in her cheek. “No teefs?” (No teeth?)

“Not until he’s bigger.”

Alice held her fist to her mouth, a pang of memory echoed in her mind.

“Hold still!” Hojo squawked. Alice’s mouth was held open by a metallic brace and the scientists iron grip. “Be quiet!” He barked, twisting the pliers around her very back tooth, tearing it free from bleeding gums.

The tooth clattered into the tray out of her sight. She kicked as a single stitch and cotton ball absorbed the bleeding.

“They’re only milk teeth, why make such a fuss? There’s no root and it will grow back! Hopefully we can extract some information from this, compare it the data to Posie, Aerith and Ifalna’s too. Leave nothing out!”

Alice blinked the memory away, her cheek feeling as swollen as it had then until she swallowed the marshmallow and snorted her blocked nose. “No milk teefs?” (He has no milk teeth?)

The young woman’s eyes lit up. “That’s right! He hasn’t got his milk teeth yet! You are such a clever girl!”

Alice blushed and rang the skirt of her tunic.

***

The camp was just as Sephiroth remembered. It hadn’t changed that much. The tall black iron gates were the same, the rows of huts were being torn down though some still stood and the towering concrete building was a little more dilapidated than before.

The mass of prisoners were long gone as was the old General; dead for seven years since he was blown into so many pieces there wasn’t enough of him to bury. Sephiroth thought of that with the hint of a smile, the brand on his neck tingling.

“I’m assuming Angeal will handle the lectures?” Genesis stood near him, oblivious to his nostalgia. “Sephiroth, no doubt you will take care of the discipline which means I will ensure they receive adequate training. They’re giving SOLDIER a bad name.”

“They joined SOLDIER to be like Sephiroth,” Angeal said, “taking part in a war probably never entered their minds.” He shook his head, fingers held to the bridge of his nose.

“Where are the barracks? Are they in the same place as before?” Sephiroth marched ahead, his stride long and steady.

The barracks were a series of long tin buildings, inside, rows of iron beds with flat pillows and military green sheets were evenly spaced.
His had been the fifth bed in the second row… he found himself stopping to stare at it – long enough for Angeal to clear his throat and actually tap his shoulder to get his attention, taking a cautious step back when Sephiroth turned.

“This was my bed.” Sephiroth sighed. “We were children… we never should have been sent here. Posie’s bed was that one in the far corner.” He looked around. “It seems they have the full understanding of tidiness. Let’s go find these miscreants.” He passed Angeal, stepping out of the building and onto the mud, watching a herd of SOLDIER’s march whilst others jogged.

“The unruly ones are in the training hall.” Genesis strode over to him, his red boots squishing in the sludge, leaving splatters of dark suds. “They’ve been gathered to wait for us but not told why.” He grinned. “I think the superiors want us to be the element of surprise.”

“Then we’d best not disappoint them.” Sephiroth followed him.

They frowned at the noise coming from the training hall, boisterous cries and hollers so loud that the group of men didn’t notice them when they stepped inside.

Alcohol had been snuck in and was being enjoyed without reserve, the flash of a camera phone sparked, photographing the SOLDIER drinking from his muddy boot.

One by one, the unruly SOLDIER’s noticed them, expressions of horror appeared on drunken faces and their laughter died.

Genesis shook his head. “We’ve got a lot of work to do. Angeal.”

“FALL OUT!” Angeal bellowed, quieting the last of the loud drunken men. “ALL OF YOU!”

They stumbled out, Sephiroth didn’t move as they passed him, sternly glaring at them, not dismissing the fact that they were boys. The youngest was fourteen, the oldest seventeen.
He followed the youngest boy out; the boy was practically in a catatonic state of drunkenness, stumbling on his legs barely able to tell what was happening around him.
Fed up of him, Sephiroth grabbed the back of his turtleneck and threw him into the line of men staggering into formation.

“There are eleven of them.” Genesis quietly told him as Sephiroth readied himself to scold them. “They only arrived three days ago. SOLDIER is ready to disgracefully discharge them.”

“So we’re to turn these into something respectful?” Sephiroth quietly grumbled.

“You are a disgrace!” Angeal bellowed. “A mere HANDFUL of men were picked from the army to join SOLDIER and you disgrace the uniform like this? You will not sleep; you will not eat until you are sober!”

“This is lame…” He heard someone mutter.

“What?” Sephiroth stormed to the fourteen-year-old, a smooth-baby-faced ginger swaying to the point he was unable to stand still.

“W’ need food t’ sober up.” He promptly bent and retched at Sephiroth’s feet, his bright orange vomit splattered their shoes.

Disgusted, Sephiroth placed his boot on the hunched over boys neck and kicked him into the orange sludge blending with the mud. The boy only groaned.

“I know hooch when I smell it.” Angeal frowned down the line of men; they looked more awkward than before, their faces should have been trained to be stoic without a trace of the nervousness they exhibited. “We’re here to uncover the letches within the ranks and send them home in disgrace!”

Sephiroth finally removed his boot from the boy’s neck, flattened to the floor.

“Who was it? Whose idea was this? Send him out and I might let you rest tonight.” Angeal expectantly looked down the line of men, examining their wandering eyes. No one stepped forth. “Fine. You’ll not rest until I know who brought the hooch. Fifty laps around the court!” He ignored their outbursts and glared at them until they moved, watching them fall into each other as they tried to run. It was an almost funny sight.

The General Sephiroth had served under would never have allowed this. True, SOLDIER didn’t really have General’s anymore, the Firsts took the lead, following Heidegger and Lazard’s orders, but the man in charge when he was a boy had been evil. First Class SOLDIER General Nordell had been cruel and merciless. He would have had these boys publicly shot dead… or worse.

The SOLDIER’S fell into each other like dominos, retching down each other’s backs and, after ten laps, Angeal demanded they fall in line again.

“Who brought the hooch?”

No one answered.

“Ten laps, again!”
They groaned, practically on their knees. “NOW!”

They had only run two more laps when they collapsed, barely able to move, not one of them able to stand.

Sephiroth growled in the back of his throat, marching towards them, his arms swinging angrily by his sides. “This is why they’re cannon fodder.” He muttered to himself. “Get up! This is pitiful!”

“I can’t!” The youngest one slurred.

“What’s your name, SOLDIER?”

“Pier Pike, Sir.”

“Pike, you, and everyone else, will get to your feet and keep running laps until I know who instigated this.”

Pier looked panicked. “…I can’t.”

“You will. I have seen SOLDIER’S run three days strait. You will run all day and all night until we decide otherwise. Who instigated this misdemeanour?” He called to the other SOLDIER’S.

“I can’t tell you!” Pier was too drunk to keep his reserve. “They’ll kill me!”

Genesis narrowed his eyes. “So, there’s more than one instigator? If those people don’t want to trudge through their own vomit running laps all night they’ll step forth. No? Get up and run!”

Pier caved. “It was Davis and Saunders!”

“Davis! Saunders!” Sephiroth picked them out of the exhausted heap on the ground. “You will follow Angeal to the barracks, pack your things. You’ll be tied to the post and dishonourably discharged the moment the barge returns. Dismissed!”

Tied to the post… it was such a dated punishment, but it set an example. Nordell would have had them covered in fish guts to attract the birds. Sephiroth tried not to recall the screams of men having their eyes plucked from their sockets. But these men had only the rain to torture them.

When he retired, he watched them, bound to their posts, from the top floor of the tall building, a building for the most elite to look over the miles of muddy terrain and collapsing sheds prisoners had once housed.

This was what he saw. Sephiroth realised. All that he and Posie had endured, Nordell had witnessed it all from that window. He could see for miles, Nordell had no doubt taken sadistic pleasure in their trials… until the day he and Posie ran away.

The bomb exploded, knocking the iron gates open in a buckled heap. “Come on!” Posie grabbed his hand and ran as the Camp was thrown into chaos. They didn’t look back, fleeing off the road and taking their chances in the bush, weaving around the bamboo trees of the forest the Camp hid within at the base of the mountain.

“Where will we go?” Sephiroth asked, his racing legs did not falter once.

“Far away!” Posie led the way, refusing to let go of his hand.

They ran until they could run no more, panting in the rocky clearing of the valley. A stream trickled through the middle in a deep crevice they had to slide down to reach.

“It’s hot!” Sephiroth complained, taking huge mouthfuls of water.

“Because it’s summer.” Posie replied between her own huge mouthfuls.

Sephiroth began to choke and retch, Posie quickly joined him, emptying the contents of their stomachs into the stream. “It tastes bad.” Sephiroth stated as soon as he caught his breath. He was on his hands and knees, his hands muddy.

Posie wiped her mouth on her arm. “Poison?”

He slowly stood on his trembling legs. “Maybe. Let’s go see.” He struggled to climb out and pulled her along.

“I bet it is poison!” Posie said as they followed the stream, not taking their eyes off it. “How will we know if it is?”

“There’ll be a big barrel with a skull on it and the word ‘poison’!” Sephiroth exaggerated with wide gestures. “Just like in the cartoons!”

The top of the stream was overflowing, the stream in fact a blocked river, draining the crevice dry. Its overflow was discoloured reddish purple. “Look!” Posie pulled him along. “Poison colours!” She stopped.

There were no barrels in the water but a pile of blue, purple and red figures, bloated bodies. They were piled so high they stopped the flow of water and what did flow was the colour of their rotting flesh, grey, purple and blue with fingertips of black. The bullet and stab wounds were also black, drained of the blood that ran into the streaming river. Perhaps the most frightening thing of all was that some of them had their eyes sewn shut with thick black thread. A wild bird sat atop them, pulling the loose flesh from bone.

They stared silently for quite some time.

“…It’s not poison…” Posie finally muttered.

“Uh… let’s go.” Sephiroth stopped staring. “That way!” He pointed to the slope, leading up to another section of the forest covering the mountain.

“Yeah.” Posie agreed and hurried away from the scene.

They climbed the mountain all day, feasted on berries, gripped the ledges with the deathly steep drops and shuffled along until they reached better ground. They found a cave to sleep in and made a pillow out of moss and leaves. Laid next to each other, in the warm night of the heat wave that struck the country, they spoke of all their plans, their hopes, their dreams…

“What do you think will be at the top when we get there?” She asked him.

“The whole world! We’ll see for miles and miles and go wherever we want! And we’ll never have to go back ever again! There’ll be no Hojo, no Nordell, no Scientists. We’ll find an old house and live there until we’re grown up, then we can go home and no one will know who we are.”

“Yeah!” Posie’s eyes lit up. “Then I’ll find my mother and we can all live together!”

“…Do you think my mother will be there?”

“When we’re all grown up we can find her.” Posie reassured him. “Grownups can do anything.”

He smiled, his eyes drooping closed. “When we get to the top.”

They awoke when the sun rose, thirsty, with nothing to drink; they left the cave and continued to climb, stumbling through the densest part of the bamboo forest.

They stumbled into a clearing, had they not been instantly grabbed they would have fallen onto their faces.
They screamed their surprise, something sharp held to their throats. “Damn, they’re just kids!” The man holding Sephiroth let him go, dropping him to his feet.

“Bit young to be in the Military aren’t they?” The man gripping Posie shook her a little.

The man sat on the log by the embers of the campfire walked to them. “THEY’RE SOLDIER?” He exclaimed, poking Posie’s stomach guard. “And this one’s a GIRL?” He snarled; then removed his cigarette to blow the smoke in her face.

“Get away from her!” Sephiroth screamed, bashing his fists on the man gripping Posie.

“The kid’s strong!” He kicked Sephiroth back. “Can’t believe they keep kids in SOLDIER’n not us!” He released Posie, she ran to Sephiroth.

She tilted her head. “You’re SOLDIER?”

“No we’re not! Not anymore! So we defected! You know what that means?”

“…You… ran away?” Sephiroth answered, hugging Posie. Something about these men felt wrong. They had evil eyes and a haggard appearance.

“DON’T SAY THAT!” The man who had the cigarette punched Sephiroth as hard as he could in the head, knocking him to the ground. “This is a revolution! Wait…” He knelt down, pushing on Sephiroth’s back to keep him on his front as he caught a glimpse of something beneath his turtleneck.

“GET OFF!” Sephiroth protested as his collar was pulled down and the bandage slipped from his brandished scar. “HA! Look at this!” He eagerly exposed the brand then abandoned Sephiroth to examine Posie’s neck. “She has one too!”

The other two men restrained her as she thrashed in their grip, kicking her legs and swinging her arms. “Property of Shinra.C… Company?” The man with the black hair read.

“You’re a damn genius.” The blonde spat, blood dripping from his nose onto his cigarette.

The man with the crooked nose frowned. “They really tailor these uniforms for kids? How old are you?”

“We ran away too!” Posie announced, staring at them with a terrified expression, watching Sephiroth hold his head as he got to his knees. “Please don’t send us back!”

“Send you back?” The man lit a new cigarette. “We’re not sending you back… alive.”

The blonde grabbed the smoking man by his collar while the other circled Sephiroth. “They’re kid’s man!”

“And how will you feel when you go home to your wife and tell your OWN KIDS that you lost your place to brats YOUNGER than they are?” He roared, pointing at them accusingly.

The crooked nosed man circled Sephiroth like a hawk. “I say we send them back to Shinra with a message… you know… let them feel our rage. Just like we did the others.”

“How so?” The blonde, a little more passive than the other two, perhaps on account of his own children, released the smoking man.

To answer their question, the crooked nosed man grabbed Sephiroth by the straps on his shoulder and punched him, once twice, he hit Posie when she tried to stop him, sprawling her onto her back.
As soon as Sephiroth was still on the ground he resorted to kicking him, Posie was held back by the smoking man as Sephiroth, barely conscious, was dragged to the cliff edge and suspended over the edge, held there by his turtleneck.

“When you get to hell, wait for Nordell; tell him it was that ‘worthless little district boy’ who did this to you!” He let go.

Sephiroth’s screams overpowered Posie’s as he fell the vast drop. There was the sick sound of flesh crashing into the rocks, one, two, three, a splash and then nothing.

“SEPHIROTH!”

He could hear her screaming, he couldn’t see her over, laid on his back staring up at the sky, but he heard the screams.
Laid on his back at the bottom of the mountain, the corpses in the stream had broken his fall but he couldn’t move, he couldn’t keep his eyes open, but the screams echoed through his skull, they were the last thing he heard when he was conscious, the first thing he heard when he came around and drifted into unconsciousness again.

He thought she was dead when the screaming stopped… he wasn’t sure if he himself was dead. Laid on bodies in the dark, a red glow coming from the mountains cliff edge above him… he was in too much pain to move. He cried when he finally did. He bit his turtleneck, afraid the renegades above him would hear he was alive and come running. He snorted through his broken nose, let out a breathy squeal, rolling off the freezing pile of bodies and landing in the stream with a splash. He laid there for a while, afraid the renegade SOLDIER’s heard him, afraid he would drown.

He somehow found the strength to squirm to the bank, half in the water, unable to move.

“SEPHIROTH!” The frantic screeching sobs woke him in the morning. “WHERE ARE YOU? SEPHIROTH!”

He groaned, trying to move, he could just about move his fingers, he couldn’t feel his legs, they were too cold, he was too cold, so cold he couldn’t feel his lips. “Here…” He croaked, trying to move his arm so he could reach out. “Here…”

“WHERE ARE YOU?”

He could see the shuffling shrubs and knew she was getting closer, he felt almost relieved… then he saw her.

She was stumbling with her arms outstretched, naked, bloody and bruised. Her face was bloodier than her thighs, her tears traced the slash vertically cut on her face. Her eyes were sewn shut with thick black thread. “WHERE ARE YOU?”

“Help…” Fading in and out of consciousness, Sephiroth would never be sure how Posie found him. Posie herself said it was pure luck as she swung her arms around, unable to see barely able to stand.
She finally felt him in the water and pulled him out. She laid beside him on the grass, sobbing as he shivered.

“I – I can’t see anything!” She shook her head as if she could shake the darkness away. “I’m scared! I can’t see!” She shrieked. “I don’t know what to do! It’s all dark!”

Sephiroth’s consciousness faded. Posie was quieter when he awoke. It was later in the day, the hot sun and its searing temperature had warmed him. But without the cold to numb him, he felt the widespread pain. “P-Posie…” He groaned.

Posie gasped. “You were dying! I didn’t know what to do.”

“It hurts…” He croaked and began to sob. He screamed when Posie tried to hug him. “Don’t touch me! It hurts!” He gasped. “Go get help!”

“I can’t!”

“I can’t move!”

“I can’t see!”

“Just move your arms and get to the road!”

“No!” She cried. “I hurt too! I want to stay with you.”

Sephiroth noticed that she hadn’t stopped bleeding, blood pooling where her thighs touched. He didn’t mention leaving again.

They laid there for a day, Posie was the first to grow the weakest. She was hot, puss seeped from the wounds on her face and her blood freely flowed, soaking into the earth. He saw flowers sprout up from her bloody patches on the ground, but he was too weak to mention it.

The bodies in the water began to look like their future. Sephiroth watched them rot further under the sun. ‘Will I be like that?’ He wondered as his vision faded.

He didn’t wake in the Lifestream, as he thought he would. He awoke laid on his back, flashing lights rushed above his head on a tiled ceiling, making him dizzy.

“Six years old, Internal bleeding! Something, something, bone, legs, lung, head, have you organised the scan yet?” He was surrounded by people in blue and white clothing, their silly words buzzed around him.

“…Posie?” Her name didn’t sound right when he said it, but he couldn’t understand why. “Posie…” A mask was put on his mouth and the more he breathed the more his eyes drooped.

“What did you think you were doing, boy?” His eyes weren’t even open when Hojo squawked, angrily sat at his bedside. He had eagerly awaited Sephiroth’s eyes to twitch so he could begin screaming at him.

Sephiroth sobbed. He wailed so loudly the nursing staff ran in. He cried louder when he could only lift one hand to his eyes, his forearm in a cast, the other in a huge splint up to his collarbone.

“You need to calm down and breathe!” The nurse told him. “One breath in, one breath out.”

He didn’t listen, sobbing louder when he saw the cannula in the back of his hand.

“Stop your wailing!” Hojo insisted, leaning over him on the bed. Sephiroth curled into a ball, screaming when he felt a pang in his side. “You were not raised to behave so!”

“Sit down Professor!” The nurse pointed at the chair. “If you want him lucid that is!”

“You would speak to me, the genius of Shinra, in such a way?”

“Do you want him to be quiet?” She narrowed her eyes and Hojo unhappily sat back down, muttering insults under his breath.

“Sephiroth, do you know where you are? You’re in hospital.” She spoke over his loud cries. “You had a bit of an accident; we’re going to make you better. Do you want to sit up?”

Sephiroth nodded, heavy sobs leaving his mouth. He let her pull the back of the bed up and guide him into a slightly more upright position. “There,” she cooed, “are you thirsty? Here.” She gave him a plastic cup of water.

He eagerly drank from it, it forced him to breathe slower, to quiet his crying so he could swallow without drowning. “More?” He sniffed and held it out.

The nurse smiled and refilled the cup, repeating the process until he was sated. He noticed the Shinra logo on her cap, he was not in a Wutai hospital. “There’s jello if you’re hungry.”

He sniffed and nodded, slowly opening his salty eyes. “Green?”

She smiled and passed him a pot of the greenest jello he’d ever seen. She popped the plastic top off and put a white spoon in his hand. “You can let your friends draw on your cast later.” She told him.

“He is a child of SOLDIER!” Hojo barked, making Sephiroth wince. “He must be presentable at all times. Childish scribbles on casts is disgraceful!”

Sephiroth swallowed his mouthful of jello. “Where’s Posie?”

“That girl was nearly rendered useless because of your stupidity!” Hojo scowled as the nurse opened her mouth. “Blinded! Ha! One of the last Cetra blinded! A ripped cervix, dislocated arm and hip! Those savages ripped her face open and tried to choke her with her own belt!”

“Professor!” The nurse scolded.

His lip began to quiver. “Is she alive?”

“Are you a simpleton?” His voice rose to a high parrot-like pitch. “Did you not hear me say they TRIED to choke her? Of course she’s alive!”

“I want to see her! I want to see her now!” He tried to shuffle off the bed, trying not to drop his jello.

Hojo laughed. “You have a broken femur and two broken tibia! Go ahead! TRY moving! But good luck speaking to your friend,” his shoulders shook with laughter, “she’s in an induced coma!”

Sephiroth looked at the upset nurse. “What? Where’s… Aducecoma…? I wanna go there!”

“No!” The nurse held him still, she huffed, looking at Hojo with angry eyes. “He means she’s resting. Posie’s still asleep. You can see her when she wakes up. You should go to sleep too, after you finish your jello. Your guardian here will leave you alone to rest. If he doesn’t I’ll call security in and we can laugh when they take him away.”

Hojo pegged his lip as he snarled and moved from his seat, leaving the room he let the doors slam behind him.

Posie woke up a week later. The same nurse wheeled Sephiroth down the halls. “Now, Sephiroth, before you see Posie, you need to remember that she’s blind and very scared. You can see her but she can’t see you.”

“Does she still look like Posie?” He worriedly asked, anxious as they approached the room at the end of the hall.

“Of course!” She exclaimed.

“Ok.” The wheels squeaked. Again they stopped when he twisted around to stare and question her. “Will she know I’m me?”

“What?” the nurse chuckled.

“She can’t see; will she know I’m me?”

She smiled. “She can still hear you. Just say ‘hello’ when you see her.”

“Ok.” He turned and the squeaking wheels began again.

The doors opened into a private room. Posie looked so small on her bed, curled in a ball at the headboard, trembling from head-to-toe.

“Posie,” she furled herself into a tighter ball, “you have a visitor.”

“HELLO.” Sephiroth robotically called, his nerves taking control. “Posie!”

“Sephiroth?” Posie turned towards his voice, white pads were over her eyes, gauze was wrapped around them and a long white plaster was stretched on the gash running from her eye to the bottom of her right cheek. “Is that you?”

“Y-yes. My leg and arms are broken… I hurt my head… and my chest so don’t hug me. I don’t like hugs anyway and they had to take a rib out because it was trying to kill me. Do you think that’s where barbeque ribs come from and we’re all cannibals?”

Posie unravelled her arms from her legs and leant into his voice.

“You’re daydreaming.” Sephiroth snapped out of his memories and looked at Genesis reflection in the window, stood behind him, red leather on a black night’s sky. “You’ve been staring at the gates for over an hour, are you waiting for someone?”

Sephiroth looked back to the gates; he could easily imagine the silhouettes of two six year olds running out to what they thought was freedom. “In a way.”

Chapter Text

Mud exploded into brown fireworks, bone and bloody matter caught in its spray. Wutai’s surprise attack had begun!

Sephiroth kept his eyes on the enemies that dropped from the aircrafts dropping its bombs upon the camp, he was happy to smell it burning, trying to ignore the terror struck men, some mad with fear, others kept their wits fighting alongside him. He had seen the sight too often to allow it to concern him.
The slain do not cry out during battle, for they are in fact slain, as disturbing as the sight of a corpse is, especially with its skin blown from its bones, or another left headless from the impact of the edge of a sword, it was the sound that Sephiroth would not forget, the terrified screams of Pike rocking back and forth, the men not knowing where to run, that death howl of Davis, when, following orders, an explosion of flame ate the skin off his face, the echoing booms that fell beside him, caking him in the grim remains of the struck… the smell of the blood sprayed upon him, the sulphur that stuck in his lungs... All this he easily ignored as the adrenaline ran through his veins, his sword an extension of himself, precisely slicing through Wutai men, not like butter… he had never understood why people said such things. The human body is not soft enough for a sharp sword to glide through it, it takes strength, the willpower to push through the skin, muscle and cartilage to pierce the organs and rip tendons in one swoop. And unlike butter, men do not stand still. They move; they defend; they run and scream and stare with murder or fear in their weighty eyes. Butter does not resist.

Sephiroth thrust Masamune into the Wutai Soldier’s back before the man could swing his sword into Angeal.
Masamine sliced through the enemy, through his clothes, armour, skin, tendons, cartilage, bones and organs. It was like trying to run a whole Christmas turkey though with a dinner knife, Sephiroth decided, swinging the corpse off his sword.

“Are you alri –?” A bomb landed between them, Sephiroth flew back several paces, fire scoured his eyes, hot mud coated him and he writhed on the ground, struggling to get up, to find his footing as his ears rang like the static whistle of an old television.
The scene played slowly, the explosions were a slow melodramatic display of colour; the Soldiers movements were fragmented, like clockwork ballerinas stopping partway through their performance to leap into another. He didn’t know where to look first. The static whistling in his head was so loud he had to raise a hand to his ear, the dull background noise played like distorted symphonies.

A hand that fell on his shoulder startled him. Angeal stared into his face, his mouth was moving but the words were lost in the whistling pitch and wayward symphonies of bombs like drums and screams like flutes.

Another explosion shook the ground, and in the blink of an eye time had passed. Sephiroth was laid on his back, dragged through the mud and left in the sheltered shadow of an old hut where the corpses and bullet shells laid amongst the sandbags, staring at him with lifeless eyes, like puppets.

***

Alice opened her eyes. In the silhouette of Banora’s budding trees the full moon shone, casting a pale glow upon the walls of Angeal’s old room, lighting up the curtains like opal. “Daddy.” The words were a calm, quiet statement. She suddenly began to breathe heavily and fell out the bed, running out the door and all but tumbling down the stairs. “Daddy! Daddy?” She scuttled across the stone floor of the kitchen.

“Alice?” Gillian startled from her place at the table as the child hurtled passed and leapt high to tug the handle of the front door down. “Alice stop!” The door opened ajar and Alice scurried into the village.

Gillian could barely keep up with her, she reached out, her fingers only brushed Alice’s shoulder. “Daddy?”

“Alice! Come back!” Gillian was slowing down, her legs not strong enough to race like they used to.

“What’s going on?” Doors were opening; curious heads were stretching out.

“What’s all the noise?”

Gillian gulped, too out of breathe to explain as she panted; “Alice.” She struggled to breathe and jogged after her, seeing her moonstruck figure dart behind a house. She followed her. She was gone. “Alice?” She could barely call, her lungs burnt. She fell to her knees and brushed the ground with her fingertips, searching for footprints in the dark. They were there, small and scarce.

“Gillian?” Worried neighbourly hands grasped her. Johanthon knelt beside her, worriedly grasping her. “What’s wrong?”

“Alice.” She croaked. “She ran.”

Johanthon scanned the footprints. “Damn! The orchard’s that way! Stay here!” His hands left her. “I’ll go get someone to help!”

Gillian struggled to recollect her breath. She could hear the villagers rousing, chattering and saw the brief white flash of torchlight. She pushed herself to her feet as her neighbours headed her way.
“Are you alright?” They rushed towards her.

“I will be. Just go, go find her!” She begged and followed after them as soon as she could. She could hear them calling out Alice’s name, see the flicker of lights and heard the gentle bribery in their voices.

“You’re not in trouble!”

“Everyone’s waiting for you!”

“Alice! Can you hear me?”

Gillian slowly followed their cries. “They’re going to scare her more.” She muttered to herself and found them gathered at the end of the orchard. “Did you find anything?”

Exodus nudged Lucia in her direction. “Take her home and sit with her.” He quietly told his wife.

Lucia approached her, her comforting hand outstretched. “Come along Gillian, let’s wait and see if she comes home.”

“No, no!” She resisted the comforting hand trying to lead her away. “I am staying and looking for her!”

“Gillian please! If she goes home no one will be there and she might wander off again.”

Gillian went pale, watching the villagers follow the footsteps right. “The cliff edge is that way.”

“Come home.” Lucia pulled her along. “Tell me what happened, that might help.”

“Sephiroth gave me one job!” Gillian fretted. “The only thing he ever asked me to do! Keep his daughter safe and return her in one piece!”

“You will!”

***

Alice felt the cold water of the river around her bare feet. The full moon reflected upon it in ripples of blue. She had run herself lost, ran onto the footpath of the country walk and fallen down the bank into the shallow river, where it pooled on the rocky beds. There she stood to stare up at the moon, surrounded by the curve of wiry bare trees. She could see every star blinking as the branches knocked together in the breeze, their creaking spoke to each other like the wildest of conversations.

She could feel it in the pit of her stomach, something was wrong with daddy. She could hear it. A voice with no words trying to speak to her, telling her something was wrong. The closer she listened to the world around her, the water splishing around her feet, the life Spring was returning to the trees on the branches that spoke to each other, the wind that caringly guided the noises to her ears… the clearer the words became.

“He’o?” She said to the air, she could almost hear it.

“Hello.” It replied. “Do not be afraid. We have been awaiting you.” The river lit up as sparks of iridescent green slowly spiralled, approaching her to caress her feet and light up the night like a pool of magic. “You do not know what to say to us? Few people ever do.”

“Where’ my daddy?”

“You can feel it, yes? Life? Of course you can. Let us introduce ourselves, we are life, we are everywhere. We are the ground you walk upon, the air you breathe and the place to which it will return. Call us the Planet.”

“P’an’it?” She raised her hand to her fist and suckled it, but there was no need to chew. Her panic was gone, only a feeling of peace remained. “Where’ daddy?”

“A place so far away even we cannot touch him. We cannot mend it, the broken pieces of his heart; the mind sympathises and follows it sometimes.”

The voice did not speak, it emitted a feeling, a sound the soul understood, but there was no voice actually speaking such things, only an understanding to be shared.

“…Don’ ‘ike it.”

“Nor do we. You are the first of your kind, the only one strong enough to defeat him, and the only one pure enough… to save him. Thus, you shall be the last of your kind. Your journey will be difficult, but not lonely. We shall guide you and those you touch. There is more in us than people can see, more than they shall ever know… and things to come that only one has foreseen. Enjoy your father whilst he is himself, sweet child. She is already seeking him. And since you have listened so beautifully, we shall tell you a secret,”

“Secret?” Alice’s ears excitedly picked up.

“This world… is about to change.”

“ALICE!” The green glow of life in the streaming river disappeared and Alice fell over when a white light shone down the bank and into her eyes. “I FOUND HER!” Exodus skid down the bank; pulled her out the water and into his arms, wrapping her in his jacket.

She ignored the ruckus of people, the fear was gone. Daddy was alright, and the P’an’it had made the sky so pretty for her. She stared up at it the whole journey back to the village, ignoring the villager’s bright lights and silly words.

“We found her!” Exodus announced, kicking Gillian’s door open. “I found her down by the bank, the doctor’s here to look at her.”

Gillian cried with relief and wouldn’t let her go, not even as the Doctor poked and prodded. Water was running in the adjoining bathroom as Lucia filled the bath with warm water.

“This man was here before the others. He aided the creation of the first nightmare and was bound to this land for his troubles.”

Alice would rather listen to the voiceless words than the stern old village Doctor.

“She just seems tired.” He explained. “Bathe her, warm her up and give her something to drink. I’ll go when I’m assured she’s safe.”

Gillian carried Alice up the stairs.

“There are men not to be trusted child, he is one of them, and all those like him.”

“Hodo?” She chewed her fist.

“Yes.”

Gillian rubbed her back. “No, Hojo isn’t here, there’s nothing to worry about.”

“All sins are forgiven when one tries. This woman is still trying to attain repentance for her part in the approaching disaster, though she ought not. We’ve nothing left to forgive her for.”

“She’s so quiet.” Lucia said as Alice sat motionless in the bath. “I’m worried.”

Gillian stared at Alice with discerning eyes.

The Doctor left an hour later; assured Alice was well but tired and probably a little shocked from the excitement.

“I still think we should take her to hospital. Just to be safe.” Lucia chewed her nails, sat at the table as Alice drank hot cocoa and ate the last of the gingerbread men.

Gillian shook her head. “She seems fine. We’ll only sit for hours and be sent home ten minutes later.” She paused. “Alice, Alice dear. Why did you run away?”

Alice stared up at her with big eyes then lowered her cup. “Daddy fell down.”

“Aw, you must have had a bad dream. You were scared? Is that why you were looking for your daddy?” Lucia cooed.

“Daddy better now.” She casually said, chewing on the arm of the gingerbread man. She pulled it away to dig her nails into the sides of his head. “His ears ouchy.”

Gillian tutted. “It’s only a cookie, Alice; it doesn’t have ears and can’t feel anything.”

Alice almost scowled, her damp blonde hair fell around her as she stared up expectantly, the look of disbelief that another human could be so ridiculous was etched on her face, as it was most misunderstood toddlers. “Daddy’s ears.” She stressed then stuck the gingerbread man’s head in her mouth.

Gillian faltered a little. “Are you finished? Let’s take you back to bed, did you know it’s tomorrow already?” She lifted Alice up. “I’ll take her to bed now. See you in the morning, Lucia.”

“Call me if you need anything.” Lucia washed up the cups and lone dish as Gillian settled Alice in, staying with her until her eyes drooped shut.

“…P’an’it… goodnigh’…” Alice mumbled as she fell asleep.

Gillian’s hand was trembling as she pulled the covers higher over Alice and left her side.

“That was quick!” Lucia commented, leaving the mugs to drain. “She must be so tired. Gillian? Are you alright? You’re white!”

“Where did her strength come from?” Gillian paused as she walked down the stairs, not expecting Lucia to still be there.

“What?”

“Her strength.” She found the willpower to move her feet and return to the table. “She ran faster than I’ve ever seen her move... Sephiroth told me she was having difficulty walking.”

“Children can be surprising. And Sephiroth is her father, he’s fast, he won every race the boys had.”

“Exactly.” Gillian held her head in her hands. “Sephiroth is her father. We both know what he is.”

“Genesis and Angeal too.”

“Those children were different. And you know how different her mother was.”

“How could I forget?” Lucia joined her at the table for one last conversation.

“Those two have been combined and Alice is the result. Who could know what that means?”

“Gillian, you’re tired. Go to bed.”

“She said goodnight to the Planet.”

Lucia stopped. “What?”

“Before she fell asleep. She said goodnight to the Planet.”

“…We should warn Sephiroth, when he comes back. It would be terrible if that got back to Hojo.”

“The way she was searching for him… What if something happened?”

“You’re thinking too much!”

Gillian clenched her fists. “Posie could tell us about the lives of relatives we kept secret; she told me my husband had died before he was even found! She could make water run backwards and flowers bloom on dead trees! Combine that with Sephiroth and… That child knows something bad happened!”

“You’ve had a long day, go to bed.” Lucia forced Gillian out of her chair. “This will all make sense in the morning.” She led Gillian up the stairs.

***

Gillian was surprised that she slept so well. Every morning she did the same thing, turned on the radio to hear Shinra’s news.

‘News about camp D is still scarce but we are hearing rumours of a phenomenal amount of fatalities and injuries sustained even by Sephiroth!’ Gillian dropped her mug, it shattered on the floor, spreading its contents in a pale puddle. ‘Eye witness reports are few but we are hearing that First Class Solider Sephiroth was dragged off the battlefield and left for dead. Shinra has yet to disclose his wellbeing. Shinra News will do all we can to keep you updated on the story –‘ Gillian didn’t want to hear anymore. She felt sick. She stood still for a long time, the radio naught but a distant mutter.

“Gillian!” Lucia’s fist knocked on the door. Gillian snapped back to her senses and let her in, stepping over the broken fragments of the mug. Lucia hugged her instantly. Exodus loomed behind her, a shadow of worry. “Did you hear it? Did you hear the news? Fatalities! They said fatalities!”

“Let go of her Lucia and take a bloody seat!” Exodus prised them apart and sat them down. Gillian in shock, Lucia in tears.

“…If Sephiroth could not withstand the attack,” Gillian finally and slowly spoke, “then how could our sons?”

Exodus sharply shook his head. “Don’t think about it.”

Lucia held her head in her hands, her fingers akin to claws grasped her hair. “Don’t think about it? DON’T THINK ABOUT IT? Our children could be dead!”

“Be quiet!” He barked.

“Both of you be quiet!” Gillian hurried to her feet when she saw Alice sat on the stairs, clutching Pancake and staring at them. “We’re just talking Alice. Go back upstairs and sleep a bit more.” She watched Alice disappear.

Lucia and Exodus were quiet.

“…He shouldn’t have left you responsible for her.” Exodus grumbled; staring at his fist on the table he shook his head.

“It was Angeal’s suggestion too. Who else would be qualified to care for their child? I fled Shinra to birth my son labelled a project, then cared for Hojo’s spawn and a full blooded Cetra!”

“You’re older and don’t have a husband to support you now! And if Sephiroth comes back in a box you’ll have a small strange child to raise!”

“No.” Gillian interjected. “I believe Alice.”

“What do you mean you believe Alice?”

“Yesterday, she knew something, just like Posie used to. She said Sephiroth was better, and I choose to believe her… I will until I hear otherwise!”

**

Sephiroth threw up before he opened his eyes. With a sickening sound he retched over the side of the bed, his eyes flew open and the ringing in his ears penetrated his head so harshly he vomited again.

He heard a mumbling through the ringing, but it wasn’t a mumbling at all. Genesis didn’t mumble.

“It took us a long time to clean you up.” He made out the words, trying to piece the muttering noises together.

Heavy lidded, he lifted his head to stare at Genesis, sat at his bedside on a blue chair. The movement in his head made the ringing worse, his head span and his stomach lurched again.

“We need help over here!” He heard Genesis’ dim voice and didn’t have the strength to fight the hands guiding his chest back onto the bed to lay on his side, a cardboard basin placed beside his mouth as the mess was cleared up.

“You’re in a military hospital.” Genesis told him for the third time, hoping he would hear him this time. “The camp was attacked and you took a blow to the head when the bomb dropped.”

Sephiroth groaned.

“Angeal said it happened when you saved his life, he’s perfectly fine.” Jealously laced Genesis’ voice, he was sure Sephiroth couldn’t hear it.

The Doctor arrived quickly, Genesis had to restrain Sephiroth as he was examined and the medications administered.

“You have severe tinnitus!” The Doctor had to shout so Sephiroth would hear him. “There’s no permanent damage but I am relieving you of your duties! You should recover at home and rest!”

“No!” Sephiroth growled.

“Go home to Alice, Sephiroth!” Genesis insisted. “Take a vacation in Banora; we can handle this war without you.”

Sephiroth glared at him, but, lacking the energy to argue, threw up again.

“I’ll call mother and tell her to expect you.” Genesis left, disgusted.

***

The Rhapsodos’ home was nice, a large cottage with dark beams and a fireplace in the library where Lucia insisted they have tea, surrounded by the smell of books.

Gillian wiped Alice’s crusty nose as she blew a yellow snot bubble. “Smelly ‘ike Aunty Gen’sis!” She announced.

Gillian chuckled. “It smells like Genesis does it?”

Exodus scratched his chin. “Aunty Genesis? He’s not a girl Alice!”

She pouted at him as her nose was wiped again. “Yes is!”

Lucia managed to pull the corner of her lip into a trembling smile, her eyes red from shed tears. “Does he look like a girl?”

Alice coughed a little as she nodded.

“We shouldn’t have brought you here,” Lucia sadly said, “we should have let you keep Alice in bed.”

Exodus sighed. “She can rest in Genesis’ room.”

“I’d like to keep her up for a while so she’ll sleep better later.” Gillian said. “She had a long day yesterday.” She watched Alice sit at the fireside. “She’s not walking well today.”

Exodus crossed his arms. “She probably used up what little strength she gained by running out the house.”

The phone rang. Lucia practically leapt over the furniture as if she were an Olympic hurdler to get to it. “Hello?” She panted.

“Hello mother.”

“WHY THE HELL DIDN’T YOU CALL ME?”

Exodus was immediately at her side.

Alice, who had leapt out of her skin, had her back rubbed by Gillian as her eyes welled with frightened tears.

“I am calling you. Tell Aunt Gillian that Angeal is perfectly fine.”

Lucia exhaled, holding the phone to her chest. “Angeal is fine… Angeal is fine!” She told Gillian. “And Sephiroth?” She lifted the phone again. “Gillian’s not raising another orphan is she?”

“No. Sephiroth sustained a head injury; the Doctor is sending him back to Banora to rest. If anyone can make him rest it’s Aunt Gillian.”

“A head injury?” Lucia panicked. “Sephiroth doesn’t get injured!”

“He’s lucky to be alive at all. A bomb went off, he has tinnitus and vertigo. It will get better in time, so they say.”

“And you? When are you coming home?” Lucia anxiously asked.

“We’re down on our manpower; it will be some time until I’m discharged. I think Sephiroth just punched a nurse, I have to go.”

“A-alright! Goodbye sweetie! We love you!” Lucia turned to Exodus and wrapped her arms around his neck. “They’re all alright! Sephiroth has a head injury, tinnitus! He’ll be fine!”

Gillian felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

Chapter Text

In the earliest hours of the following morning, Gillian opened her front door before Sephiroth could knock.
He had an exhausted, ill and haggled appearance. “You’re safe!” She quietly exclaimed, swinging her arms around him, ignoring how still and uncomfortable he became. “I didn’t tell Alice you were coming home. It’s a surprise. She’s sleeping.”

Sephiroth could barely hear her through the ringing in his ears. “…What?” He croaked.

She was a surprised at how bad he sounded, ushered him inside and sat him at the table. “Your coming home is a surprise to Alice.”

He groaned. “I have deafness in my left ear. I can’t hear you well.”

“Oh.” Gillian pushed her face close to his right. “Alice doesn’t know you’re coming home, it’s a surprise, she’s still asleep. I won’t shout so I don’t wake her. Are you hungry?”

He winced, hating the feel of breath on his ear. His stomach grumbled in reply, much to his embarrassment.

“I made vegetable stew, your favourite.” She took the saucepan off the hob and tipped its contents into a bowl, placing it before him.

“Vegetable stew?” He quietly noted when it was placed before him. Gillian smiled sadly; he’d not heard a word she’d said. “Thank you.” He took the spoon from her and paused. “Thank you for taking care of Alice.”

She placed a glass of water on the table and sat down as he dug in. “I’ll tell you all about it later.” She said as he grunted his approval at each mouthful of stew, his spoon clinking on the china. She startled when he suddenly gasped, dropped his spoon and held his head. “Sephiroth?”

He didn’t move his hands from either side as his head throbbed sharp white pain. Memories of charging through flame and explosion were so real he could smell the sulphur, his bouncing knee died down as the headache and ringing tinnitus dulled. He felt Gillian’s hand pressed to his back. “Are you alright?” He saw her lips move.

“I will be. The food was delicious.” He stood. “I’m going to wash then lay down.”

“Alright. Exodus laid a mattress down in Angeal’s old room, you can sleep there. He left some of Genesis’ pyjamas too.” She knew he hadn’t heard her as he walked to the bathroom without reply. “Leave your clothes in the hamper!”

He closed the door and turned on the bath taps. He hissed as he peeled off his clothes, soiled from battle, sticky from the journey. His pauldron’s clanked on the floor, he peeled his arms out his leather coat, carefully removing his harness; his muscles straining as he did.
He looked in the mirror at his drained face and the bruises on his chest, deep purple with green tinged around them.

He groaned when he bent down and took his tall stained boots off. He could still smell the Camp on them, the warfare. He wasn’t sure how many pieces of bone and brain matter were stuck in the soles but knew it must be a lot, they would take forever to clean.

He unbuckled his belt and slid his trousers down, handling his right leg gently. He had torn a calf muscle, tight restricting leather was no doubt the worst thing for it. Even sliding off his boxer hurt, he had landed on his right hip, it was bruised an angry black, swelling with patches of red.

He sat on the edge of the tub when he took his grey socks off, resting his feet in the water he sighed at the relief, spreading his toes in the warmth before sinking the rest of himself in.

This hadn’t happened before; he had never been put on leave… well… not since that one incident when he and Posie were six. Never had he been so injured in his adult years.

He tried to ignore the shame by washing his hair, promising himself he’d buy Gillian a new bottle of shampoo and conditioner as he used it all. It wasn’t really enough but he quickly felt clean.
He platted his hair leant his head back, trying to ease the pain as he let the conditioner work as the long mane hung over the bath edge and onto the floor.

“Hey,” Posie was knelt at the bath side, her hand in the soapy water, “you haven’t been this beat up in a long time.”

‘Perhaps having a child made me soft?’

“Or you’re just getting old?”

‘I’ll have you know I am a man in my prime.’

She paused. “Gillian seemed well… Have you seen Alice yet?”

‘She’s sleeping.’

Posie sloshed her hand around the bathwater, creating a whirlpool of soap foam. “You mustn’t let Gillian overexert herself; you know she’ll want to pamper you and make it all better.” He leg grazed the silky damp ends of his braid.

‘I won’t.’

“And you know this news has already gotten back to Hojo, how are you gonna keep him at bay?”

‘Don’t you know how big my sword is?’

She splashed him. “Be serious Rapunzel!”

‘I don’t think I can keep him at bay. He must already know what’s happened. I’ll figure it out when I get back to Midgar.’

She removed her hand from the water, not a ripple was left in its place. “Alright. Don’t fall asleep in the tub.”

Sephiroth smirked. “I won’t. He closed his eyes, and dropped under the water, rinsing the conditioner from his hair, brushing out his braid with his fingers, knowing Posie would be gone when he remerged.

He didn’t hear Gillian knock as he dried himself. He heard the door close and quickly spun around, a pair of Angeal’s neatly folded pyjamas were on the floor, a simple pull over grey shirt and blue tartan joggers. They were a little short in the leg but it didn’t matter.

He left his soiled clothing in the hamper, his boots and pauldron’s next to the sink.

Gillian smiled when she saw him, happy to see the sharp and imposing structure of his body softened with soft fabrics.

“Thank you,” he pulled on the neck of the top, “I left my soiled clothes in the hamper, I’ll take care of them later.” He headed up the stairs and peered into Angeal’s room.

A mattress had been laid on the floor, dressed in pillows and a duvet. He supposed it had been done while Alice slept, she was so curious she’d catch on to his surprise return pretty quickly otherwise.

He stifled a groan, gripped the doorframe and his head as pain shot through, waiting for the pain to stop as memories of firey explosion and screams echoed behind his eyelids.

The moment passed. He crept into the room, laid under the duvet and rolled onto his side, staring up at Alice on the bed as his eyelids grew heavy.

She was laid on the edge of the bed beside him, one arm and leg hanging off the side, Pancake flattened beneath her body.

He didn’t expect his heart to leap when he saw her; despite how tired he was he felt his heart could burst. What was this feeling? Joy? Relief? Comfort? …Love? He pondered those things as his eyes dropped shut.

“Daddy! Daddy!” His eyes flew open. “Oof!” Alice jumped on him, one leg on either side of his chest as she bent forth to hug his neck. His head pounded, his ears rang and he could only catch fractions of high-pitched words. “’ou back!” She bounced.

Sephiroth swung his arm over her and rolled her to his side, pinning her down just as she would Pancake when he tucked her into bed, his arm wrapped around her arms and middle. “Yes, and I am very tired.”

She wriggled in his grip. “Better now?”

He peaked an eye open. “What?”

She wrestled an arm free to tap at his temple. In his pain he grabbed her wrist and scowled. “Better now?”

“No.” He closed his eyes again.

“Oh…” She gripped his fringe and sighed, resting beneath the weight of his arm. “Daddy!”

“What?” He grumbled, keeping his eyes closed.

“I love ‘ou.”

His eyes snapped open, he allowed the corners of his mouth to pick up, though his expression remained confused. “What?”

She moved to try and hug him. “Love ‘ou daddy!”

He pieced the fragments of words together into something he understood.

“You heard right Seph,” Posie’s voice sounded clearly in his mind, “go on, tell her. She’s your daughter!” He glanced beyond Alice and saw Posie lying on the other side of her, her hand resting atop his.

“And I… love… you.” He struggled to say.

“She knew you hurt your head.”

‘I can hear you just fine.’ He noted.

“Everything was kept secret from her but she knew you injured your head. That’s why she asked if it was better. How do you think she knew that?”

’She must have overheard it.’

“I agree… but the question is ‘from where?’” Posie remained expressionless. “Keep her safe from Hojo, Sephiroth.”

He quickly fell into a deeper sleep.

He saw the flashes of gunfire and red, the whistles of dropping bombs and the explosion when they hit the ground. He found himself staring at a young Solider, the youngest, Pike, trying to pick himself off the ground. A bomb landed behind him, close enough to tear the young man’s head from his shoulders in a flash of red fire and black mud.

His eyes flew open; he gasped, leant over the mattress and threw up all he had eaten. He leant there for quite some time, retching and breathing heavily, eyes wide; his pupils shrank to near nothingness. His hand trembled, trying to grip a sword that wasn’t there.

His senses cleared; the ringing in his ears lessened with the pain and the smell of smoke, trapped in the memory of his sinuses, faded.
He ran a hand down his clammy face. “Alice?” He groaned, looking around, relieved to find her gone.
He sat up, his hands still shaking. Every muscle burnt, his lips trembled in need of water. He sounded a groan of distress when his head throbbed and pain shot through his ear. When it stopped he looked up, Alice stood in the doorway, hugging Pancake, horrified.

She gasped when he looked at her and she fled down the hall. “Daddy maked mess!” She announced, running to Gillian and clutching her skirt in distress. “Daddy’ scary!”

“What? What happened?”
Sephiroth slowly walked downstairs, gripping the bannisters for support. “Sephiroth!” Gillian exclaimed. “You look terrible! Go back to bed!” He rummaged under the stairs for the mop and bucket, grabbing a newspaper to sop the acid up with. “Sephiroth!”

That shout penetrated his ears a little. “Excuse me?”

She hurried to his side. “You are not well, go back to bed!”

He stared, bewildered for a moment as he was treated like a schoolboy, then felt the shame of a sick child whom had soiled his friends room during a sleepover. “I have to clean something up.”

“I’ll do it.”

“No, I can do it. I just need some hot water.”

Noting his embarrassment and having some idea of what may have happened, Gillian nodded. “Fine. I’ll be up in ten minutes.”

He quirked an amused brow. “To do what? Tuck me in?”

“To talk about pressing matters.” She had her hand on Alice’s shoulder, green eyes peeking out from behind her skirt.

“Oh…” Sephiroth understood and poured the recently boiled kettle into the bucket.

“Daddy! You maked scary mess!” Alice announced as he walked up the stairs, bucket sloshing in his grip.

Gillian arrived ten minutes later, as promised.

Sephiroth had opened the window to rid the room of the stench. “Sephiroth!” She loudly announced herself, not wanting to startle him.

He turned around, finishing his inspection of the floor, the mop and bucket in each of his hands, her shout had sounded no louder than a mutter. “You wanted to talk?” He put them down.

Gillian closed the door behind them. “What is wrong with you?”

He had to listen closely to understand. “I told you. Deafness… and tinnitus.”

“And?”

He paused, stunned. She knew. He should have known she would, Gillian caught onto everything, there was no point hiding it. He sighed. “…A hairline fracture in my skull.”

“AND?” She sternly persisted.

“I dislocated my knee, shoulder and torn calf.” He felt like he was seven years old again… about to be punished for stealing apples.

“AND?”

“That’s all.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? You should be in Midgar under the care of a doctor!”

“The doctors have already done all they can. I just have to wait for the Mako to work.”

“Did you really let them treat you?”

He frowned, straining his ears. “…Did I let the chilli eat me?”

“The doctors treat you! You didn’t push them away? Scare them off?”

He shrugged with one shoulder. “Some of them. But there’s nothing more they can do. The Mako’s working.”

“How long will it take until you’re well?”

“Three months.”

“Come along!” Gillian took the bucket and mop aside, placing her hands on him. “Get back in the bed and rest.”

“Aunt Gillian!” He exclaimed. “I’m a grown man!”

“And I’m still older than you!” She tried to usher him down to the mattress but he was too sturdy. “I’ll take care of this.” She took the soiled newspaper, mop and bucket into her hands. “Then we’ll discuss what we’ll tell Alice.”

“Tell Alice what?”

“That you’re unwell and need rest!” He watched her disappear, the silence of her footsteps, his ears deaf to them, was unnerving. Willingly, he returned to his bed.

***

“She seems much better.” Sephiroth commented over morning coffee. Alice sat on his lap at the table, gleefully dipping her soldier’s in egg yolk.

“I gave her honey in milk, she had a lot of ginger too, Lucia always puts fresh in the gingerbread men.”

He sighed, disappointed. “You gave her sweets?”

“Just because someone wouldn’t allow you any doesn’t mean Alice can’t either.” She sipped her coffee.

“She has an obsession with food; I don’t want to encourage it.”

“Daddy!” Alice squealed. “Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!”

He flinched as the noise penetrated the ringing in his ears, placing his cup down he put a hand over Alice’s mouth. “Quiet.” He closed his eyes, his brow hung heavy over them.

Gillian glared. “Sephiroth! She’s missed you.”

He begrudgingly moved his hand. She slapped his arm as hard as she could. “Be a good ‘ittle boy daddy!”

He retaliated with a stinging slap to the back of her hand. “You do not hit!”

Her lip immediately began to quiver and her large green eyes watered.

“Sephiroth,” Gillian seemed ready to separate them, “you don’t punish a child for hitting by hitting them back; all they learn is to retaliate with fists. Trust me; Daemon made that mistake with Angeal… the first six years were a nightmare.”

Alice skid off his lap to weep in the worn fabric of Gillian’s skirt. “Do not tell me how to raise my daughter. I’ll listen to your opinion when I ask for it!” A heavy tension hung in the air, Sephiroth felt instant regret, the hard edges of his face softened with guilt. “I… apologise… I –”

Gillian’s chair squeaked on the floor as she stood. “Outside.”

“Stay here.” He told Alice. But still, she followed them. “I said stay!” She stopped, hiccupping as the door closed, leaving her behind.

Gillian stepped away from the house. “You’ll not use that tone with me!” She frowned. “You are in my house, under my roof, I have been taking care of your daughter, and you would speak to me that way?” Her voice was soft and weak, as always. But there was a disappointment in her mannerisms that made Sephiroth cringe like a bad behaved schoolboy.

“My apologies… I don’t know what came over me.”

“I know you’re stressed, in pain and this place holds a lot of memories for you but it does for me too. Do not think I can’t understand how you’re feeling. I lost a spouse too.”

“Daddy?” A worried voice called, muffled behind the door. Sephiroth’s ears didn’t twitch, he was deaf to it.

“I’m going inside now. If you’re in a better mood you can come too.”

“Yes.” He followed her inside, ready to begin the day afresh.

“Daddy! Daddy ‘ou back!” Like a small koala wielding a stuffed toy Alice wrapped herself around his leg.

“Yes.” He didn’t dare bend to pick her up for fear the pain in his head would topple him over. “What did you want to tell me?”

She pointed at her plate as he sat to finish his coffee, pulling her onto his lap again. “S’OD’IES!”

“Soldiers?” He looked at the toasted bread on her plate. “Yes, they are.”

She frowned at her plate, looked at him, then back at her egg and soldiers.

“What’s wrong?” He dared to ask.

“Daddy’s S’OD’IE…” She quietly announced.

“That’s right, I am.”

She grabbed his hand, examined it, then took one of the soldier’s and held it beside his fingers, a quizzical expression on her pouting face.

Sephiroth squinted, his face as incredulous as hers. For the first time he noticed the shape of her eyes beginning to resemble his.

Gillian held a hand to her mouth as she laughed. “He’s a different type of SOLDIER, Alice.”

“Diff’nt…?”

Sephiroth took the toasted bread from her hand. “These are only toast cut into oblongs. They don’t come from real SOLDIER’s.”

“She knows her shapes?” Gillian raised her mug to her lips, the corners tugged up into an amused smile.

“She knows what a circle is. Everything else is a square… apparently.” He dropped the soldier onto the plate.

“Pancake’ circle.” She mumbled.

“Yes, pancakes are circles.” He huffed. He could feel her doing something to his chest, a movement of fabric against his skin. “Alice!” He pulled her hand away, egg yolk was mashed over her fingers and splattered Angeal’s old shirt.

She pointed at him with her other hand. “SO’D’IE!”

“I’ll wash it later. It’s a nice day so it will dry.” Gillian remained amused.

“I should call Cissnei and ask her to post me some clothes. I’ve never been relieved of duty so early.”

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, you’re alive, that’s all that matters.”

“Hojo will be all over this.” Alice became perfectly still on his lap, tense.

“…Hodo…?”

He could have slapped himself. “He’s not here.” He quickly tried to correct his error. “He’s a long way away.” Relieved and recovering from the horror of his name, Alice curled into Sephiroth; her soiled hands gripped his hair.

“How’s your pain?”

He frowned. “What?”

“How’s your pain?” She called.

“Tolerable.”

“Listen daddy!”

“Alice, we need to talk about something.” He tried to sit her upright. “I… hurt myself when I was away.”

She licked the egg off her fingers. “’ou fell down.”

“I did. And because of that I can’t hear much, I will one day but not now.”

“’ou hurt ear.”

“You need to speak louder.”

“HURT EAR!” She shrieked.

Sephiroth held a hand to his head and waited for the pain to stop, the ringing penetrated his skull like an echo. “Yes.” He said when the tinnitus died from raging to an irritating buzz. “It makes my head hurt. I’m waiting to get better.”

“Oh…” She slid off his lap, headed for the stairs.

He noticed her odd walk; tiptoeing up the stairs, her knees trembled, her two hands clutched the bannisters then balanced on the step before her so she went up on all fours. “Why is she walking like that?”

“We had an incident the night before last,”

He sat perfectly upright, shoulders back, chest puffed out. “What incident?” He was fully alert.

“The night you were injured; Alice woke up and ran out the house.”

“She ran?”

“I couldn’t keep up with her. She ran got lost. A search party gathered to find her.”

“Where was she? What happened?” The concern in his voice could easily be mistaken for anger, but Gillian knew that tone, he was a parent too now… just like her.

“They found her in the river at the sandy bank, the one you and your friends used to swim in. A doctor looked at her and she’s alright, but she’s strained the weak muscles in her legs and feet. She experienced some cramping yesterday but heat and massage mends it rather quickly.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I just did.” She put her empty mug down. “There’s… one more thing. Something you should really think about before you go back to Midgar.”

He turned his head a little too quickly when Alice slid down the stairs, one at a time and then wobbled to him. He hunched forward with his hand to his head, biting back bile.

“Here daddy.”

He slowly opened his eyes. A little hand illuminated green stretched up at him. “…Materia?”

“Better now?” She set it in his lap.

“No, Alice, this won’t help me get better. It’s yours, you can keep it. I’ll teach you how to use it when you’re grown up.” Seeing her earnest innocent face made him hurt inside. Oh how the innocence in those eyes would change in ten years, when she would be twelve or thirteen years. A decade would fly by in the blink of an eye.
She hugged his legs and sighed, resting her head on his knees. “She’s bored.” He stroked her hair.

“Do you feel up to doing anything today?”

“Tomorrow, maybe. I smell rain anyway.” He looked to the small window. It was greying outside, the sun covered by darkening clouds. “Your toys are upstairs Alice, go and play.” She didn’t move. “I packed your pens, go draw something.” She returned to the stairs. Sephiroth didn’t speak again until he heard her feet padding above them. “What were you going to tell me?”

“About the night she ran away –”

“Sorry for intruding!” The door swung open, a gust of wind disturbed the heat and a few droplets of rain splattered inside as Lucia closed the door, her basket of goodies hung from the nook of her elbow. “It’s going to be such a wet day!” She slid her damp shoes off and set her basket on the table.

“Sephiroth was just saying that he could smell the rain coming.”

“How clever!” Lucia exclaimed. “Can you smell snow too?”

He nodded. “Not in the City.”

“Too much pollution.” Lucia opened the top of the basket. “I brought more of those gingerbread men Alice likes so much. Where is she? How are her legs today?”

“She’s fine,” Gillian said, “still wobbly but walking. Sephiroth sent her upstairs to play.”

“Oh! What did you think about her communicating with the Planet?” She held a selection of teas in her hand.

Sephiroth’s face was blank. “What?”

“Talking to the Planet! The night she went missing, it was before the radio announcement or Genesis’ call, she told us all about how you hurt your head and the Planet told her you were alright.”

He forced himself to blink. “She did what?” He stood, unable to sit still any longer. “She spoke to the Planet?”

“Yes.” The smile fell from Lucia’s face. “You hadn’t told him yet?”

“I was about to.”

“You didn’t think to mention that first?” He scowled.

“I didn’t want to mention it around her. What if she repeats something and Hojo hears of it?”

“…I never thought she’d inherit that… I didn’t think she could.”

“Why ever not?” Gillian asked. “Her mother could.”

“She’s not only her mother.”

“Either way, it’s happened. The moment it gets back to Hojo you could – WILL lose her in some way!”

“Why would he give her to me just to take her away? He didn’t want her.”

“You have to find out, and you have to get her out of Midgar.”

He would have shaken his head had it not made his stomach churn and the room spin. “I can’t. I’m stationed in Midgar, contracted there until I’ve paid off Posie’s and my Shinra credit.”

Lucia rubbed her neck with both hands. “Being raised within Shinra is expensive… how much more do you have to pay?”

“Shinra gives me fifteen percent of my earnings…” he calculated, “the rest they pay me in vouchers and Company supplies. So it should be paid off in….” He crossed his arms. “Forty years, give or take a few.”

Lucia gaped. “That’s like paying off a mortgage!”

“Shinra schools, uniforms, equipment, books, medical fees, food and housing. All that has to be paid back, it’s contracted and deduced from my wages.” He explained. “Posie left hers behind when she disappeared, as her husband I inherited her debts.”

Lucia shook her head as she lifted her tea. “It’s not right. You were raised inside Shinra, it’s not as if you had a choice.”

“So,” Gillian thought, “twenty years of that debt belongs to Posie?”

“Yes. We began earning when we turned sixteen… One of the benefits of sharing the same birthday I suppose.”

“I always thought that was strange.” Gillian scooted a gingerbread man towards him.

“Did you and Posie never consider that you could be… related?” Lucia whispered.

“We took a test to make sure. For a while I thought she could be my sister. We share the same birthday and both have green eyes but the resemblance ends there.” He quirked a grin. “That, and Alice wasn’t born with four eyes and six fingers. Speak of the devil.” He looked down at the table side where Alice had quietly materialized, having smelt the ginger. She was practically salivating as she raised her head and gripped the table edge, too short to peer over it. “Come,” Sephiroth pulled her onto his knee as he sat back down, “I don’t want you standing too much today.”

Alice dropped the extendable grey plastic sword to reach for the gingerbread man set before her. Sephiroth had brought it home from a sale one day, eager to get her used to the feel of a hilt in her hands.

“Is that your sword?” Lucia cooed. “Is it better than daddy’s?”

Alice shook her head, too interested in her gingerbread man’s head to speak. She suddenly squeaked and fell stiff, the gingerbread man fell from her hands to break in pieces on the floor, startling everyone as she reached for her foot and howled!

“Not again!” Lucia hurried around the table.

“It’s alright.” Gillian crouched at her side, holding Alice’s foot in her hands, massaging the sides.

Sephiroth was startled, confused as Alice screamed and refused to release her twisted foot.

“What is it?” He worried, ready to slap Gillian’s hands away.

“Just cramps!” She called up at him, hoping he could hear her over the cries. “She strained the muscles when she ran!”

“I’ll do it.” He moved her hands and took over.

“Not too hard.” She warned, watching his hand squeeze and rub much to Alice’s distress.

Beneath his hands he could feel the muscles loosen until Alice drew her foot up to rest on his legs and leant against him hiccupping, staring down at the broken gingerbread man littered on the floor, her bottom lip stuck out between those red juicy cheeks.

“I’ll get you a new one.” Lucia promised, rummaging through the basket with one hand, wiping Alice’s tears with the other. “Sephiroth, can she have apple juice?”

“No!” He hastily said. “Anything but apples.”

“Orange it is then. Here Alice.” She pierced the film with the yellow straw and handed it to her, not letting go until the straw was in Alice’s mouth. “Remember, don’t squeeze it this time.” She let go and sat back down.

“How many times has this happened?” Sephiroth asked them.

“Four times now,” Gillian replied, “we were told it’s nothing to worry about. She just strained the tissues, that’s all.”

Sephiroth kept his hand on the tiny foot, as if he could will it well. “I’ll call her physiotherapist as soon as we get home. Would you like that? You like the toys there, don’t you?” He bent his head to try and look at her, curled against him slurping from the orange carton.

Alice nodded, her tears finally thinning as the moment passed.

“What exactly happened to her feet to damage them so?” Gillian pondered.

“I don’t know. They were cut when I found her, it was obviously intentional.”

Lucia refilled everyone’s mugs. “And no one asked?”

“Social services interviewed her but she said nothing, nothing to her therapist either. We’re hoping she’ll reveal it on her own terms one day… or draw something… she’s very good at drawing.”

“Perhaps it was a secret?” Gillian suggested. “You and Posie had some secrets too. And still do I might add.” She reminded him so he frowned at her, huffing under his breath.

Alice finished her juice box and reached out to inch it onto the table. “Do you want something to play with?” Gillain asked. “I’ll get your bag.” She headed upstairs, the steps creaked beneath her weight.

“Gillian has been marvellous!” Lucia said when she heard the floorboards crepitate above their heads. “Not many women of our age would take in a toddler at a moment’s notice.”

“I know. I am grateful.”

“You know you can’t just remove Alice from her life after this. It would break her. If you’re really grateful you will keep her in Gillian’s life. A letter, a phone call, it doesn’t have to be much.”

“I agree. Things will be better now.”

She reached across to take his hand. “We all know how badly Posie hurt you, but don’t isolate yourself anymore, okay?”

He pulled his hand away. “I’m here, aren’t I?”

She didn’t mind his abruptness; he wouldn’t be Sephiroth without it. “I’m so happy you found a piece of Posie to mend the hurt a little. Angeal was such a comfort after his father died, Alice must be the same.”

“I haven’t thought about it. I would describe her as a distraction more than anything.”

Gillian stepped down the stairs and put the bag on the table. Alice was on her knees immediately to reach the table top, tugging at the zip she pulled out the pots of colourful playdough and a zip-locked bag of shapes. “Squis’y!” She held the cherry red dough before Sephiroth’s eyes, squishing it in her fist. “Wed?”

“Red, yes.” He confirmed as she turned back to the table, smashing her hands on the dough she spread there. “Has Alice had any apples since she’s been here?”

“You’re not affected are you?” Gillian’s eyes widened, scanning him for purple rashes.

“No. I just want to know if she’s as allergic as I am.”

“Not at all, not a single hive.”

“Poor Genesis,” Lucia rested her eyes, allowing Alice to push the beads of her bracelet into the playdough, “all he ever wanted was to share our apples with you.”

“He wants to kill me.”

Gillian laughed. “With apples?”

“They are his perfect murder weapon. Easily consumed when hidden in a pie.”

Chapter Text

The rain fell all day, flooding in deep puddles outside. It was the best of days in Sephiroth’s opinion; Gillian’s stove heated the kitchen, warm soup was served and blankets were brought downstairs as wet pattered on the window and blew at the door.

Alice built a fort upstairs, he helped her tent a sheet over the mattress and line the space with all things comfortable so she could sit in a land soft as clouds and play to her hearts content.

He smiled, watching her scribble shapes, mash coloured dough and have her bucket of tiny toy monsters roar at each other, building their world out of blocks, tented books and dough cut into shapes as Pancake loomed in the corner, a mascot overlooking the crowd.

He half joined her in her tent at one point, his legs stretched out across the floor, his arms and head inside, content to just observe her at play and do his best to keep the sheets clean of pen ink and pressed playdough.

He had never seen her so content… and it had been a long time since he had felt such contentedness himself.

“I’ve fought all of these monsters.” He told her, looking at the twenty-four tiny plastic figures spread around the mattress, the rolled up duvet made a wonderful circular padded fort, filled in with pillows and cushions. “This one, right here,” he laid a finger on its head, “is a Black Dragon. Very rare, it keeps mostly to the mountains. And this one is an Allemagne, its eye makes up more than half its body weight and it’s large enough to carry sheep.”

She silently held a purple mushroom up to him.

“Hm, excellent choice. This is a Battery Cap; magic is its best weapon. I took it down alongside a Behemoth once, that’s this larger monster here, it’s very difficult for most men to take down…” his mouth pulled into a smile, “but I’m sure you’ll have no problem with it when you’re older.”

“Cat!” She pointed to her family of Cactuar’s stood upright in a patch of yellow playdough.

“Almost right, these are Cactuar’s, irritating little things. Quick and mischievous.” He grinned, amused with memory. “Once, when Angeal, Genesis and I were in the desert, a Cactuar snuck up on us,” he pulled the large one from the playdough and moved it to sneak up on a line of three cars, “it threw all its needles at Angeal and then ran away. Guess why he couldn’t sit down afterwards.”

Alice giggled. “His butt!”

“That’s right. He was in a bad mood for days because he couldn’t’ sit down.”

“Where Uncle Angel?”

He put the Cactuar back in the dough. “He’s in Wutai with Genesis, fighting a war.”

“Why?”

Why…? He didn’t know what to say. Why was life’s greatest question. The world had been at war with Wutai for so long, the Materia Wars when he was a boy became a political fight for a Mako Reactor. Why was it important? Why were they fighting? He could easily fight without a reason, but he didn’t like questioning it. Questions were distracting.

“Because they’ve been told to. And a good SOLDIER always does as he is told.”

She reached for her sword, pulling the blade straight from its compact hilt. “I’ a SO’DIE?”

“No!” He practically ripped the sword from her hands, giving it back to her immediately. “No,” he said, much calmer. He had no need to fear her joining SOLDIER, the Mako didn’t react very well in females; it caused too many hormonal disruptions to enhance them. SOLDIER disbanded women during its fifth year, a month after Posie was blinded. “But you could be a monster hunter, with a real sword and lots of Materia.”

“Mon’da hunner!” She squealed, oblivious to what it meant but happy to have the job.

Sephiroth groaned and lowered his head to the mattress, he didn’t feel the small hands rubbing his scalp until the ringing dulled and the nausea lessened. “Are you trying to make me better?” He was amused.

“Pan’it will.”

He froze.

Alice yawned, her eyes drooping shut. “You should take a nap.” He pulled her out from the tent, setting her on her bed as he returned the rolled up fort of a duvet and pillows to her.

“No daddy! No!”

“Yes. You can play again later. You always need sleep after eating,” he tucked her in, “remember?”

She was already half asleep, Pancake in her arms, his ear in her mouth. An hour had passed since lunch and, as usual, she was out like a light not long after her burst of creative energy.

“I’ll wake you in an hour.” He promised, sweeping her hair across the pillow.

Assured she was too tired to follow him, he left, headed downstairs where Gillian happily read her book, sat before the heat of the stove she was captured in its red glow, the light of day beyinf the window blackened with clouds. “You sounded happy.” She didn’t look up once.

He stopped, embarrassed. “You heard us?”

“It was sweet. It’s nice to know you play with her, a lot of fathers wouldn’t.”

“She was playing, I was more… observing. She is…” he sat down, happy to feel the heat on his skin, “interesting to watch.”

‘Adorable.’ Posie’s voice echoed.

“Adorable.” He accidentally spoke the word aloud, wincing and turning red up to his ears when he heard it.

Gillian’s smile widened and she turned a page. “Fathers always think their children are adorable. In this case it’s true. Daemon thought Angeal was the cutest thing he had ever seen… I love my son but he was the ugliest of babies…”

Sephiroth laughed an actual laugh, not a quiet chuckle, nor a bellow loud enough to rouse Alice. “I never thought I would hear you say that.”

“You’ve seen the photographs, you know it’s true.”

“He’s not much to look at now.”

“When he shaves that dead mouse off his chin he is.” She turned another page. “Lucia’s invited us to dinner tonight. She made two pies, one savoury, one sweet.”

“Apple?” He grimaced.

“Strawberry cream.”

He smiled in approval and almost licked his lips. “That sounds nice.”

***

Dinner was a busy affair; Alice was a little shell-shocked at first, lifted out of her shoes and sat at the table lined with plates of food. A hot Spring vegetable pie, roast parsnips, boiled carrot slices glazed with honey, the mashed potatoes seasoned with rosemary and mustard, which was a little too strong for her taste. She stuck her tongue out and screwed up her face until gulps of water washed it away.

She probably didn’t need her highchair anymore. Sephiroth mused, watching her eat without issue. She must have outgrown it and he hadn’t noticed.
He sadly recalled rolling his coat up the day after he found her so she could sit upon it and just about reach her pancakes, small and dirty as she was then he could easily make a comparison now.

“You’re very quiet Sephiroth,” Exodus dished the last of the potato onto his plate, “that’s always a worry.”

“I was just thinking that I should feel guilty. Eating Genesis’ food in his home while the most comfort he’ll receive is sitting in a tent eating a protein bar capable of breaking his teeth.”

“I’m making all his favourites when he comes home!” Lucia announced. “Eat up; he won’t miss out on anything.” The mist of worry in her voice etched onto the edges of her face, but it was ignored for the sake of joviality.

“I was surprised they sent you back so early.” Exodus said.

“Not as much as I am. This hasn’t happened before.”

“You worried?”

“I’ll admit, I am. I haven’t been so injured since I was a child.” He finished the last of his carrots, eagerly awaiting desert. “Perhaps I’m getting old?”

“If you’re old I’m a corpse!”

Sephiroth took Alice’s spoon and tapped it on her plate near her vegetables. “Eat your parsnip.”

“She’s eaten enough; let her leave some room for desert.” Lucia insisted. “Do you like strawberries Alice?”

She eagerly nodded.

“Are you ready for desert?”

“Pancake’?”

“You’ll just have to wait and see.” She and Gillian took the plates to the kitchen.

Sephiroth watched them, only crumbs and cups remained on the placemat clad table. “Should we help them?”

“Lucia wanted a dishwasher for her birthday, I bought it with the understanding that it’s all the kitchen help she needs.” He leant back in his chair. “Was Genesis really alright when you left him?”

“He even berated me when I was in the medical tent.”

“Hm, so the boy’s more than alright. And Angeal’s with him… he always has his back.” He closed his eyes, content.

Alice managed to eat a third of her strawberry pie before falling asleep face down on the placemat. Pleased with the amount she’d eaten Sephiroth allowed her sleep.

“I’m sorry we couldn’t make it to the funeral.” Exodus said as Sephiroth laid Alice in the corner of the brown leather couch. The fire illuminated the room as red as Genesis’ coat, the dishwasher hummed not too far away as Gillian and Lucia chatted in the kitchen. He couldn’t really hear it, the atmosphere a quiet buzz behind the incessant piercing trill in his skull.

“I understood.”

“We wanted to be there.”

“The sympathy card was enough.” He flicked a drying crumb from the angel bow of Alice’s lip. “That, and the donation for the service.”

“So…” Sephiroth knew what question was coming as Exodus poured a series of drinks, “you must have met Posie, what… two years after she disappeared to… Ah…”

“To conceive Alice?”
Exodus nodded.
“No. He stood from his crouched position to take whatever beverage Exodus had poured. “I would have dragged her home and not let her out of my sight again.”

“So how did Alice come into the world?”

“Hojo.” The word would have been enough but alcohol and a full stomach made the story easier to tell. “Apparently he had one of my old samples and Posie requested it. He didn’t tell me she’d shown up after all that time missing.” He bitterly added.

“Sample of what? Oh! Why would you give Hojo that? Hojo of all monsters?”

“Company orders, they claimed it was for health checks, apparently. They were mandatory checks I couldn’t refuse.”

“So Posie ran away and impregnated herself with frozen sperm a couple of years later?” Sephiroth nodded. “That doesn’t sound like her.”

“Neither does running away but she did.” He paused, sleepy with fullness. “We think she had a mental collapse.”

“I’m not surprised,” he took Sephiroth’s empty glass; “the girl went through a lot. Some of the things Genesis told us were horrific.”

He crossed his arms. “I protected her as much as I could.”

“I know you did. But you can’t protect the ones you love from everything. Take it from me.”

Sephiroth wondered what that could mean from a simple landlord… but he didn’t ask.

***

Sephiroth’s dreamscape replayed the comfort of the day in a new light. He sat in the warm glow of the stove at Gillian’s table opposite Posie, Lucia’s picnic basket lounged between them as the rain pattered, dribbling off the roof in noisy rivulets.

“Is it wine?” Posie pulled a dark green bottle from the picnic basket, unable to see through his eyes in his dreams.

He took the bottle from her, twisting his wrist to examine the label. “Yes. White.”

“Something smells like coffee,” she continued to rummage, “I think it’s cake!”

He poured the wine into two old tumblers. “Anything for dinner?”

“It smells like pasta.” She pulled out the tupperware box, smelling its seam. “It’s still hot! Carbonara?”

He pulled two bowls out the cupboard and began to spill the spaghetti into each one, topping it with parmesan from the basket and black pepper from the kitchen. “You want salt?”

“No thanks, the bacon’s salty enough.” She had already dug in, twirling her fork in the dish. “Lucia is so kind. Genesis should be a better son.”

“Be nice, he’s on the battlefront.”

She twirled her fork in her bowl, wheeling the spaghetti around the prongs. “You know they’re not going to let you rest as long as they said they would.”

“They never do.”

“I give it twelve days.”

He smirked. “That’s oddly specific.”

“A week for the President to find you, five days to bully you into returning.” She paused. “I don’t think you should go back to Midgar.”

“You know I have no choice.”

“Not permanently, just now. By the time you get home they’ll be ready to ship you back out. I think you should stay here. Alice is happy here.”

He raised a brow. “Are you?”

“You know I love it here.” She turned her ear to the window. “Especially when it rains, I love the rain… I miss the rain. I love how sweet it makes the Planet smell, the way it softens the elements and creates days like these, encouraging life to rest and begin anew. I love how it sounds, so relaxing, and, for a moment, all is right in the world.”

“You’re a pluviophile.”

“What did you call me?”

He chuckled and drank his wine. “A pluviophile. Someone who finds great comfort in the rain.”

“That’s such an unfortunate sounding name to give someone! Say that in a small crowd and I’d be chased down, all children in a miles radius hidden away!”

“Hm,” he smirked, “I suppose.”

“Alice talking to the Planet… it’s dangerous. If Hojo finds out –”

“He won’t.”

“How? She’s surrounded by Shinra employees! At any moment she could say something or react to something the Planet tells her! I don’t want her to live like me and Aerith…”

“Posie,” he warned, “she already is. Do you really think Cissnei visits so often because she enjoys children? She’s been assigned to keep an eye on her and thinks I don’t know.”

Posie became stony with anger. “I thought they sent Tseng to hound my family?”

“They could hardly allow the two of us in the same room together and expect him to survive now could they?”

“Hojo’s going to find out.” She panicked. “He’s going to do terrible things to her!”

“No.” He firmly said. “I won’t allow it.”

“You don’t know that!”

“If children can stowaway from Wutai to Midgar and live without anyone knowing who they are or where they’re from, Alice can do it too.”

“…Alright.” They were quiet, their forks clinking on china. It was a simple scene, one he had missed for many years. Not the great romantic moments they occasionally experienced, not the world travel on missions, but the simple everyday moments enjoyed together. “This is good.” She licked her lips. “Have you thought about a Kindergarten for Alice yet? I heard the waiting lists can be quite long.”

“She’ll have to enter Shinra education. I considered a tutor but she needs to learn how to blend in with other children. I’ll get her out the city when she turns sixteen.”

“You will?” She exclaimed.

“I cannot leave but… she can. I think I’ll send her here. It’s small, she likes it, she can work in the orchards and I’ll send her an allowance.” He paused. “I should really send her sooner… but I want her old enough to adequately handle a sword first. She must have the strength to defend herself.”

As emotionless as Posie’s face was; Sephiroth felt the emotion swell from her heart. “You’re a good man Seph. Don’t ever forget that.” She searched for his hand as his foot sought to rub hers beneath the table.

“Daddy!” Alice woke him, sat up in her bed looking down at him on his mattress. “Daddy!”

His ears buzzed, his stomach throbbed, bubbling up his throat, it took a while for the tinnitus to calm. “What?” He kept his eyes closed and his voice stern, the pleasantness of his dream faded away into throbbing pain.

“I’m firf’ty.”

“Thirsty?” He sighed. “If you have a drink now you’ll wet the bed.”

Her eyes watered. “Bu’ I’m firf’ty!”

“Go back to sleep and you won’t be.” He opened his eyes when he heard her shift. “Get back in your bed!”

“No!” She stood near the door, ready to leave.

“Fine.” He grabbed the bottle of water beside the mattress, eager to go back to sleep. “Get back in bed.” She did and he unscrewed the cap. “If you wet the bed tonight I won’t give you drinks after bedtime again.” He handed her the bottle and watched her gulp the water down. After five mouthfuls, she handed it back and wiped her mouth on Pancake’s head. “Now go back to sleep.”

“I d’eamt’o P’an’it.” (I dreamt of the Planet.) She told him, lying back down.

Sephiroth became still. “You did?”

“Yeah.” She yawned, her eyes drooping shut. “S’e ‘ikes wain.” (She likes the rain.) Her eyes closed, asleep.

Sephiroth sighed. “I know it does.” His heart hurt. He wanted his wife; he wanted her to speak to Alice, to keep her silent. Posie always knew what to do…

He knew he was sleeping when he saw her at the sink, her back to him as she dried the dishes he’d washed. “You’re worried.” She announced as he towered behind her, putting his hands on her waist. “I can feel it.”

He grunted in response, his breathing shallow.

“You already know what I would do.” She felt him press against her back. “Are you going to put these plates away or not?”

“Not.” He grumbled. “Keep talking. What would you do?” He moved one of his hands to her thigh.

“Cruel to be kind. I’d scare her into silence with the truth. That Hojo will take her away if he finds out and I love her too much for that to happen.” His mouth attacked her neck. “Seph!” She leapt, almost striking him with the flick of the dish towel. “O-oh… you want to…?”

“It’s been a long time.” His teeth scraped that long thin expanse of neck. He could feel the vein pulsing with every kiss and suckle. “A very long time.”

“Alice is sleeping!”

“Good.”

“I’m not doing this in front of her on that mattress!” She hissed. “And we are not defiling Gillian’s bed!”

He removed his hand from her thigh to scrape the chair out from the table, sat down and pulled her onto his lap, placing her legs on either side of his. “Better?” He latched onto her neck again, squeezing the backs of her thighs, trying to press his fingers through her jeans to reach soft flesh.

“No! Gillian could come home, Alice could come downstairs, we’d traumatize her for life!”

“I’ll keep an ear out.” He rumbled.

“Seph…” His greedy touches intensified, “you know you’re dreaming, right?”

“If anyone wakes me now I’ll kill them.”

“You’re sharing a room with Alice,” she tried to push him away, “when she jumps on you in the morning and your bed is like a tent I don’t know who it’ll be worse for!”

He growled, frustrated, resting his head on her collarbone. “I want you. I miss you.”

She stroked his head her hands tangled in his silver hair. He pulled his head up and she rested their foreheads to together. “I miss you too.”

“Sephiroth.” The dream was broken. He opened his eyes to the sound of Gillian speaking his name. He quickly ruffled the covers over his lap and sat up, wincing and holding his head, feeling sick. “I’m sorry to wake you so early,” her dressing gown covered her nightdress, how early was it? “Someone’s here for you.”

“Who?”

Chapter Text

It concerned him that the knock at the door hadn’t woken him, but as the intense vertigo rang, making the room pulse, he was surprised that Gillian’s voice had roused him at all.

Having a decent idea of who was at the door, Sephiroth hurriedly stripped and pulled his leathers on, pauldron’s and all, hissing when he slid his leather pants up his bruised hip and zipped up his skin-tight boots. At least the thought of who may be awaiting him had withered his erection.

“It’s four A.M.” He menacingly growled; his footsteps heavy as he walked downstairs, as intimidating as his leathery costume. “You’re going to wake the entire village.”

“HA! Let them wake!” Hojo scowled. Heidegger stood alongside him, an unwelcome surprise.

‘I was right.’ Sephiroth mused.

“I want to know why Shinra’s strongest was sent home after only three days in Wutai!” Hojo exclaimed, not even attempting to level his voice. “What changed?”

Sephiroth grit his teeth. “A bomb fell on me. I sustained injuries and have been relieved until I am stable enough to return.”

“Odd! Very odd!” He slammed his bag on the table. “I am going to examine you.”

He crossed his arms. “Are you really?”

“It is unlike you to make such a mistake.” Heidegger announced. “You are a First Class SOLDIER, SOLDIER’s poster boy. This does not bode well with us. Your image is the Company’s image. Your wounds wound the Company.”

“Sir, it won’t happen again.” He grumbled.

“Did it have anything to do with you returning to that Camp?” Hojo laid his instruments on the table, lifting a small joint hammer he motioned to the chair, demanding Sephiroth sit.

“No.” He was adamant. “And there’s no need to examine me. A doctor already has.”

“I will not let my star boy be examined and dismissed by someone so mediocre! SIT!”

The pain of the Hojo’s shrill voice cut through his head. Sephiroth did all he could to supress his pain and reluctantly took a seat, allowing Hojo to poke and prod as he liked.

“You must make a strong comeback after this error.” Heidegger boomed. “You will give the full story to Shinra News. We want this delay on the battlefield to sound as heroic as possible! You were rescuing a damsel and taking down Wutai’s General or something. You will make appearances; you will attend Shinra’s Winter Solstice Ball, the President’s birthday and public openings. You will appear as strong and unharmed as we claim you are!”

Sephiroth clenched his eyes and flinched, a cry trapped in his throat as Hojo played with his hearing, snapping his fingers beside each one.

“SOLDIER!”

“I understand.”

“Ah! I see,” Hojo smirked, “the Mako has already begun to heal what was damaged! An ordinary man would be dead!”

“I’m sure Shinra News will publicize that.” He glared.

“The doctor’s findings were conclusive,” Hojo said, “but I am not happy with the rate of your recovery. The President wants you to return to the battlefront as soon as possible. Your absence is making this War tedious!”

“Surely the man who began it made it tedious?” He felt the ghost of Posie’s arms wrap around his shoulders. He was tempted to lift a hand there to squeeze her forearm, but knew it would appear strange and he would find nothing.

He sighed. “Are you both done? I am sure Mrs Hewley wants to sleep. She has been kind enough to open her home to me. Angeal will be furious to hear of this.”

“Almost.” Hojo’s spectacles glimmered. “Where is IT? I’ve searched all over Midgar!”

“IT is currently in the cinemas. You can watch it in Loveless Avenue’s Cinema; I hear the book is better.” He could have cried when Hojo hit him over the head, he hunched over, the pain so hard he saw stars.

“DON’T mock me, BOY! You know very well what I am seeking! Where is that feral girl’s spawn?”

“The Professors research is unfinished. Project A-1 must be studied, the President demands it.”

Sephiroth felt sick.

“It’s time to ask.” Posie kissed his crown.

“If you are not finished with her why did you give her to me?” Sephiroth grumbled. “You were adamant that I take her.”

“That is none of your business!” Hojo barked.

“Yes it is!” He stood, towering many inches over him. Even as broken as he was, Sephiroth knew he could drag them both out the house and drown them in the fountain… given the correct alibi. “I have invested in my child with no help from Shinra! What do I gain from your constant interference, Professor?”

Hojo was snarling, pegging his lip like a restrained dog. “There are new findings. I need them confirmed and Project A-1 to do it! This is an order from President Shinra himself! Aerith is elusive enough! We cannot have another Ancient running amok unrestrained!”

“What do you want from her? Blood? Bone?”

“The President intends to let you keep her.” Heidegger said much to Hojo’s lividness. “I am sure he will grant you whatever you wish in return for her whereabouts.”

“I want an explanation. Why did you give her to me?”

Hojo reared up tall from his hunch, his mouth twisted into something nasty, pulling his jowls into wrinkles. “Aerith was raised by the mother; I want to see how the powers of an Ancient compare when raised by the father. Now, where is IT?”

“…You obviously didn’t search Midgar well enough. Unless you think I would take her to the battlefield with me.” He was grateful to Lazard; he had obviously kept Alice’s location secret… but the Turks… Sephiroth didn’t trust them.

“You will tell me!”

“NO!” He hurt his own hears. “You have done your examination, hounded Mrs Hewley and disturbed the village. Leave. Unless you want to end up in the fountain.”

“I am staying!” He pointed a bony finger to the spot in which he stood. “Someone has to ensure you heal adequately!”

“You will return to the battlefield in a week, lest the Professor decide otherwise.” Heidegger announced. “Gingerbread men?” He saw them in the airtight box on the table and helped himself.

There was a loud thud overhead; Sephiroth stared up, wide-eyed and fearful.

“Ah!” Hojo grinned and scurried up the stairs.

“Hojo!” Sephiroth hurried behind him, both headed for Alice’s room.

Hojo ripped the door open.

Gillian stood there, unsurprised, un-amused, fully dressed and shaking the duvet into fresh linen, flapping the corners into place. “I am assuming you want somewhere to stay?” She scowled. “There is not enough room in my house for three; the mattress will have to do. As Sephiroth is unwell he can have the bed.”

Hojo was shocked; he even took a small step back. “I thought…”

Sephiroth crossed his arms. “Did you really think I would bring my child here?”

“Ah – No!” Hojo frowned. “I just thought Gillian would be up here. Gillian,” he greeted.

“Hello.” She coldly answered.

“I thought your son could very well be in this room!”

She frowned, refusing to look at him as she busied herself. “You just said you thought I would be up here. Who were you expecting?  Me or my son?”

“…Both!”

“He’s fighting on the battlefront, you know that.” She dropped the dressed pillows onto the bed and mattress. “Thank you for waking me by the way, when I am sleeping is the only moment I am not worried for his life.”

“If you are worried for his life he is not worthy of being a SOLDIER!”

She didn’t take the bait. “Surely we could say the same thing about your son then? Angeal is unharmed and Sephiroth is sleeping in my guest bedroom with his father present.”

“He is not my father.” Sephiroth frowned.

“If you say so dear.”

“And we are not sharing a room!” He insisted. “One of those pillows will make a decent murder weapon.”

“All the more reason for you to share a room then. Unless you would be more comfortable elsewhere, Hojo?”

He turned his nose up. “I have important work to tend to! I will be back to evaluate you in a week.” He told Sephiroth. “And if you are still unfit for duty I will drag you back to Midgar myself and seal you in my lab until you are!” He left.

Gillian heard Hojo and Heidegger’s loud voices downstairs before the front door slammed shut.

She and Sephiroth were perfectly still for a long time, not releasing trapped breath until they heard the helicopter fly overhead.

Weak at his knees, Sephiroth slid down the wall.

“Sephiroth!” She ran to his side. “What is it? What did he do to you?”

“Where’s Alice?” He tried to find the willpower to return to his feet. “Where is she?”

“Be quiet! You don’t think they bugged the house while you were up here?”

He stilled, worry swirled among the Mako in his eyes. “I’ll check.”

He took Daemon’s old tools and dismantled the entire house. He found a microphone in the kitchen light and two cameras in both curtain poles.

“That’s everything.”

“We can take no chances.” Gillian watched him put the plumbing back in place under the sink. “Did you check the floor?”

“Even the skirting of the cupboards. I splintered one of them.”

“It’s nothing Angeal won’t fix.” She shrugged. “The cupboard under the stairs?”

“And everything in it.”

She sighed. “Then maybe we are safe. Just in case… walk with me.”

He followed her out; walking through the orchard to the riverbank Alice had run to several nights ago. “Where is Alice?” He asked again.

Gillian wrapped her arms around herself, cold in the dewy morning chill. “She was hiding under the bed. I got her out the back window. Hojo must have heard me climbing back in.”

“Did you hurt yourself?”

“The mattress broke my fall.”

“What did you do with her? Is she safe?” He barked through his deafness.

“The safest place in Banora. Genesis’ secret den. There’s a bed down there, light too. But she can’t stay there forever.”

He sighed. “I never thought they’d come here, either of them.”

“Nor I. But they did and now you know why you have Alice.”

“You heard that?”

“I think the whole village heard it they were so loud. I think you should take Alice home. Get this sorted with the Science department, then you can both rest and heal before you’re deployed. It will weigh upon your mind otherwise and that’s the last thing you need.”

“We’ll leave today.” He decided. “We’ll take the ferry in an hour and then the train… I’ll have to think up a bargaining tool on the way.”

She solemnly nodded.

Alice didn’t make a sound when she saw him and scurried out from under Genesis’ table of achievements, Pancake swinging in her grip.

Though he winced, he didn’t push her away when she wrapped her arms around his torn calf. Instead, he pulled her up and sat her on his forearm so she could hug his neck and tangle her hands in his hair. “I didn’t know he was coming.” He told her, feeling the trembling in her body, soft and cold in the damp of the cave, clad only in purple pyjamas. “He’s gone now.”

Alice said nothing, afraid and, he supposed, in a state of shock, having been woken by Hojo’s voice and pulled out the window to hide in a sparsely furnished cave.

“Are you ready to go home now? Back to Midgar?”

She sniffed and nodded.

“Come along Alice,” Gillian stroked her head and nudged at Sephiroth’s arm, “your father can dress you while I pack your things.”

The sobs finally came, muffled cries trapped behind moist lips buried in silver pauldron’s. Her big green eyes peered over the top as they left.

They were very quiet in the house, Gillian packed up the few things Alice had while Sephiroth hastily washed and dressed her, checking the clock every ten minutes.

“We have to go now.” He stepped out of the bathroom, pulling Alice along by her hand, damp and wet as she was.

“Sephiroth, her hair’s still wet, she’ll catch a cold!” Gillian insisted.

“The ferry leaves in fifteen minutes, we have to go now. She can warm up on the journey.” He pulled the tiny puffy white down coat from the hook by the door and zipped Alice up in it. Lifting her into her boots; he knelt down and stared at her face, still miserable, still anxious. “Say goodbye to Aunt Gillian.”

Alice hurried to hug her, wrapping her arms around skirt-clad shins.

“Goodbye Alice, thank you for being such a good girl.” Gillian was emotional to see the child go.

“She’s coming back again when I’m deployed.” Sephiroth’s statement was more a question.

“Of course she is!”

Alice seemed to perk up a little.

“And I’ll be bringing Angeal and Genesis back with me.”

Gillian frowned. “Now you can’t be sure of that can you?”

“I will do it. I promise.”

“Then… I will believe you.” She moved to hug Sephiroth, feeling him freeze in her embrace. “I’ll see you in a week. I’m so proud of you.”

His eyes widened. “Proud? Of me?”

“Of course!”

He cleared his throat and pulled away, hiding his eyes under his long bangs. “Goodbye Aunt Gillian… and thank you. Alice, come.” He took her hand, lifted the bag in the other and left the house, stepping out of the village as the dairy farmers were rousing; the scent of breakfast leaking from the cracks in the foundation of their houses.

He heard Alice’s stomach rumble as she leant over his shoulder, waving farewell to Gillian, stood in her doorway; she’d not move until they were out of her sight.

“I’ll get you something to eat on the ferry.” He told her, leaving the countryside for the river.

The river was wide and opened onto the sea, steps lead down to it from concrete paving where a dimly lit ticket and snack booth lined with posters stood.

He tried to ignore the poster of himself pasted near him. The attendee kept glancing from it to him as he processed the two tickets. Sephiroth never looked so tired and haggled in any of his posters or photos.

“Hurry, we’ll miss it.” He prompted with a slam of his hand, trying to speed up the tired and shocked boy.

Alice, still safely seated on his arm, kept looking out the small window.

The ferry was preparing to leave; it was small and green, no bigger than a fishing boat. “Oh…” She pouted, gripping her father tighter when he hurried out the dark shack-like building and boarded the ferry as the anchor was drawn up.

“What?”

“Where’ fewwy?” (Where are the fairies?) She looked around.

He was amused, the corners of his dark lips pulled up. “The boat is called a ferry, Alice. There are no fairies here.”

“B-but ‘ou sai’ we get fewwies!” (But you said we would go and get fairies!)

“I said we would catch the ferry,” he balanced her on his arm, walking down the slippery metallic, white painted steps to the lines of bare pews, “nothing about fairies! They don’t exist.”

“Oh…” He sat her next to the window, sighing as he sat down himself, stretching his leg out to ease the pain, intriguing Alice’s attention away from the window.

He saw her expression change; she was listening to something, turning her head, pulling interesting expressions to a silent call.

Her eyes watered, spilling down her full cheeks. “Daddy no!” She began to shriek. “No! No! No!”

“No what?” He gaped, pulling her onto his lap. “What’s wrong?”

“No H-Hodo!”

“He’s not here.” He tried to make sense of her babbles, so loud he could just about hear them.

“No go back!”

“We’re going back to Midgar for a while… you’ll be coming back soon.”

“H-H-Hodo-o-o-o hur’ me!” She hiccupped, her fists kept to her eyes, Pancake’s ears clutched. “Pan’it said!”

He was sure he turned pale. “The Planet said Hojo would hurt you?”

She nodded, too distressed to speak.

“I won’t let him hurt you.” He wiped her tears from her cheek with the palm of his leather-clad hand. “Have I ever let him hurt you? Just because the Planet said he wants to hurt you doesn’t mean he will. He can’t while I’m here. Understand?”

She hugged her body into his and sobbed.

“If the Planet was really your friend it wouldn’t talk to you like this.” He scowled. “Is it talking to you now?” She shook her head, howling as she did. “Good. Hojo is not going to touch you, believe me. Now stop crying, there’s nothing to cry about. When the food stall’s open we’ll have some breakfast. I hear they serve pancakes.” He felt her trembling stop, the ringing in his ears quietened as her wails lessened.

His mind was reeling, taking her back to the labs, only for a day, might satisfy Hojo for a time… but was it worth it? He would lose all of Alice’s trust! And if Hojo discovered her communication with the Planet… that would be disastrous.

He kept glancing at her out the corner of his eye. She had slipped off his lap to press her face against the window, amazed that they were moving, that the scenery was passing so quickly.

“Daddy! Daddy moving!”

“Yes, we are.”

“Look!” He couldn’t, not for too long. “Bath!”

He thickly swallowed rising bile as the boat swayed. “It’s called the river, or just water.”

“Oh…”

“Say it back to me, say river.” He closed his eyes.

Alice squealed! Sephiroth held his head, the sound piercing his skull like a sword. “Look! Daddy look! Bud’s!”

A family of chocobo’s had gathered for their morning wash. They probably came from one of the smallholdings, there was a bright yellow mother chocobo and her two chicks, one an albino. It stirred something within Sephiroth… he wasn’t sure what. “Chocobo’s, Alice.” He hissed.

“Tickiebo’s!” She named name, reached out as if she could touch them.

Alice liked the wildlife, Sephiroth discovered. Her tears dried at the sight of hills and trees dusted feathery pink and white as their leaves had yet to reappear and smiled at the green stems of sprouting flowers yet to bloom.

She squealed at every chocobo, the two black swans and gaped at the river rat scurrying through the bushes, making its home in the riverbed.

She stared at the houses, smaller than any in Midgar and none so crushed together. This would be the perfect place for her, for anyone whose instincts were to remain close to nature.

Sleepy, he listened to her, her joy a welcome distraction from the rocking of the boat.

“Pancake’ now?” He opened an eye when she addressed him, her stomach rumbling in unison with her speech.

“Stay here,” he told her, struggling to remain steady on his feet when he stood, his dizziness made worse by the rocking vessel, the humming of the motor like drums beating his brain.

The pancakes were shop-bought and heated in the microwave with a little pack of syrup. The smell of them as they heated made him grip the counter. “Water too.” A bottle was set before him.

Carrying the paper plate of pancakes to Alice felt like a difficult task, trying to remain steady on his feet, the sweet smell reached his stomach.

“Pancakes!” Alice bounced on her seat, eagerly reaching up to take them.

Sephiroth held them out of her way. “Sit on the floor.” He put the pancakes on the edge of her seat when she did, forcing her to use the pew as a table. He couldn’t look as he poured the syrup over them, swallowing his water as his stomach flipped, no matter how much water he sipped.

The sound of Alice chewing… the hum of the motor and sloshing of the river was too much. When the boat met a curve his stomach lurched!

“Stay!” He barked and fled for the deck, leaving Alice confused behind him.

He hadn’t been so violently sick in years! Retching overboard where the noise was loudest, his head full of sharp knives as he hung his head and the boat swayed.

When his stomach was empty, though still clenching, he fell to sit on the deck, wiping his mouth and taking deep breaths.

“Are you alright?” The Captain called from the standing shelter.

He could only raise a hand ‘yes’ before letting it fall beside him.

“Daddy?”

He frowned and opened his eyes. Alice beside him, her white blond hair tangling in the wind, drying in odd shapes, the smell of pancakes clung to her as tightly as she clung to her soft toy. “I told you to stay! Why don’t you do as you’re told? Alice!”

She wasn’t looking at him but staring at the scenery, in a world of her own amazement. He grabbed her when she moved closer to the railing, preventing her the opportunity to fall though them.

She tried to shake her thin arm from his hand. “Sit here,” he pulled her down onto his lap, “we’ll go inside later.”

Time passed quickly on the deck; the greenery fading into cold metropolis. By the time the noise was too much to bare they had docked. The train, just a few steps away, would take them through Midgar.

Sephiroth enjoyed the quiet, sat down on the seat, the louder motor left on the river.

Alice fell asleep, curled into his side; his own eyes were falling shut, exhausted and lacking the stomach to eat.

“No! No…” He woke to Alice’s trembling grip rather than the muttering muffled in his ears. “Ge’ away!”

He moaned, lifting his head. Nightmares of Hojo… he knew them all too well. “Wake up!” He flicked her forehead. Her eyes snapped open. Stunned, she panted, her eyes welled and she began to sob again. “It was only a dream.” He picked her up, wiped the sleep from his eyes and grabbed the bag as the train stopped.

Home… It was a strange concept. Midgar was a place his life was merely set in, nothing more.

He felt the loss the moment he opened the apartment door and entered Alice’s bedroom, ready to sort her laundry and refill the go-bag. It was the last thing he wanted to do, head throbbing, stomach lurching, he was unable to put much weight on his leg at all without revealing the injury had bestowed upon him a limp. He felt the throb in his shoulder the moment he put Alice down.

There was nothing to welcome him, no warm embrace, no scent of home cooking, only stale abandonment, he had almost forgotten such feelings until Gillian’s hospitality had reminded him of them.

“Welcome home!”

He felt a lump in his throat when he remembered those words… from anyone. Feeling as unwell as he was, it was easy to get emotional.

He had once felt happy returning from Wutai, from any assignment. The apartment used to have the smell of burning when he entered, each time he came home.

“You’re home!” Posie ran from the kitchen, a black smear across her nose. “Welcome home!”

He dropped his heavy military bag to open his arms let her run into them, feeling her body rise when she stood on her tiptoes to reach his mouth.

“I’m home.” He greeted. “I missed you.” His hands rested on her waist when she stroked either side of his face, as was tradition… speaking of tradition… “Did you really have to cook?”

“You mean burn!” She released him, pulling him further into the apartment by his hand, not caring that it was soiled with blade-wax, dirt and the horrors of war. “Burning is tradition! Every time you come home, you know that.”

He wrinkled his nose. “I’m surprised the smoke detector didn’t sound.”

“I killed it!”

He raised his eyes to the ceiling where two pieces of wire hung and a long sword was jammed there.

“How does it look?”

He looked at the pan on the stove where something black had crumpled into ash surrounded by blacker flaky things. He opened the oven door; a billow of smoke hit him! He pulled the tray free and slammed it down when it burnt his hand. There was something in the tray… “It’s everything I ever thought it would be.” He mused. “What was it?”

“That was a lemon chicken and this was pan-fried potato with rosemary. I tried making gravy but it was so thick I broke the handle off the spoon.”

His smile was too wide for his face, regardless of how tired he was, coming home to such ridiculousness could all horror melt for a moment. “I am beginning to think that you do this on purpose.”

“If only that was the case… One day you’ll come home and I’ll have cooked something edible! Recognisable even!”

He feigned horror. “You would break tradition?” He hugged her, staring down at her clouded eyes.

“Not this time.” She un-buckled the straps crossing his chest. “And as tradition dictates… you go shower while I cremate the rest of this and order takeout.”

“The usual?” He grinned.

“The Italian pizza fest,” she smiled, “as usual.”

“And tonight?” He purred, pressing closer.

She sighed as if he had mentioned the worse of chores. “The usual tonight too… if you’re not too tired.”

“I could take you right now.” He loudly swatted her backside, enough to make her jump.

She didn’t like it and frowned, her fists balled, a warning that should he do it again he’d not remained unscathed. “Before dinner? Really?”

His stomach rumbled. “You’re quite right.” He left her, stripping as he walked to the bathroom, looking forward to washing the dark streaks from his hair.

He left his clothes in the hamper and soaked in the bathtub, hearing Posie work around the house, dispose of her ‘creation’, reinstall the smoke detector and swear at it when it beeped.

He wasn’t home often, neither was she, but on those rare occasions they would be in their home together they would stick to their meagre traditions.

He heard a ring; then the door close as Posie hurried downstairs to accept their order.

“Seph’! Dinner’s here!”

He pulled on his bathrobe, amazed each time he returned home by how divine it smelt, like fresh cotton.

He walked out, towelling his hair dry. The food set on the table, removed from its boxes and placed in bowls, there was always cheap wine on the table and his Posie waiting for him on the couch.

“How long are you off-base?” She’d begin their conversation each time.

He sat down beside her, draping the towel from his hair over the back of the couch. “Four days, I’ll go back for training each day.” He dished pasta onto his plate, the side of vegetables he always insisted they order was placed in two bowls.

“I’m happy you’re home.”

He’d kiss her before they’d begin to talk all he’d seen, done and endured. Posie would quietly listen, stroking his hair if it was terrible; joking about the media’s upcoming fake news should it not be so serious.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that, it must have been terrible.” Posie would often say when he finished his tale, her head on his shoulder, hand holding his. “It’s all left behind now, you’re home, Sephiroth.”

The lump in Sephiroth’s throat flooded his eyes. ‘I’ve lost my home.’ He realised, frozen in place.

A small hand on his knee thawed his frozen form. “Wha’ w’ong daddy?”

He scooped Alice up and sat on the edge of her bed, hugging her close like a living teddy as he tried to collect himself. Alice liked cuddles… he did not, nor did he like her to see him cry.

Small hands tangled in what they could grab of his hair. “Daddy? Daddy? Daddy we’ home now!”

He opened his bleary eyes. “I’m home…”

Chapter Text

I can't believe it's been nearly a year since I posted a chapter! Just want to reassure everyone that this story is still being written, I even gave part 2 in development and am currently rewriting all the chapters. Hope to post them ASAP.