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It has been two years since Kuroko and Kagami had last seen each other.
Ever since Kagami has left Japan for America to join the NBA, the two have never met eye to eye as they promised—not in person at least, however they have kept in contact through online video calls but that didn’t last quite long. First it their regular calls was a routine where Kagami would be available at night while Kuroko will be available in the morning due to the time difference. It was bearable, it was sweet, it was exciting for the two of them as they couldn’t wait for the time to reach until they could speak to one another.
Kuroko would then leave for school and Kagami would head to bed and sleep, then it continued again fourteen hours later. However, slowly, their time seemed distant, Kagami became too tired, Kuroko however only waited and manage to only say a few words such as a good bye and goodnight and then later, it was as if their online meetings were forgotten. They do text each other but the cost was rather expensive, so they only did it a couple of times a week, then it became once a week before a few times a month. Then for the next whole year, it was only e-mails of their current updates on their lives, later Kuroko found himself to be dragged out from his bed, set for school and out to the front door instead of checking his lap top for Kagami’s e-mails, the e-mails weren’t frequent either, they were twice in about a month and Kuroko found no urgency or excitement anymore, it was as though a junk mail that he’d expect when he opens his e-mail, if he was lucky that was, most of the time he’d receive actual junk mails instead of Kagami’s e-mail from miles away.
It was already Christmas eve and he remembered the time when Kagami threw a Christmas party at his place, the two made Christmas invitation cards and sent to all their friends including ones in Kyoto and Akita, and they both decorated Christmas greeting cards as well, they had a time of their lives in Kagami’s apartment, Kuroko always loved sending out Christmas cards and wishing everyone well for the year until next, but this time, he found himself aimless for the season.
“Kagami-kun” Kuroko place the arts and craft items onto the coffee table from his arms and sat beside the red head who was wearing a wife beater despite the cold while Kuroko was wearing his yellow reindeer printed sweater—it was extremely cold even with the heater on and five cups of hot chocolate.
“You really like doing Christmas cards don’t you?” Kagami asked and sat up straight, Kuroko nodded
“Yea and this time, let’s make two!” Kuroko indicated the numbers with his fingers
“two? What for?”
“One for the invitation, second one for a Christmas card” Kuroko almost chirped excitedly, he was indeed into the holiday mood and Kagami only shook his and laughed lightly
“Aren’t they just the same?”
“No, one is to invite them and one is more personal!”
“Personal you say? Then that explains—“ Kagami took one photo out from the small box set copies of photo “Why you decided to have hundreds of this printed out?” Kagami held the photo out to Kuroko, it was a regular picture of them with Nigou the only difference made was the Christmas sweaters photo-shopped into them—even Nigou had a small doggy sweater plastered on him.
“Because you refuse to have a Christmas picture taken” Kuroko stated matter of fact, Kagami only huffed
“Kagami-kun” Kuroko called out gently
“I’m really excited for this Christmas party” Kuroko said and Kagami smiled
“Yea, me too” he said before placing a kiss onto Kuroko’s forehead.
❄ ❄ ❄
With a heavy heart, Kuroko stepped out from his house, the cold air meeting his face making him wince slightly as the sudden sharp breeze, he covered his nose with scarf and tucked his gloved hands in his winter coat. It was 7 at night, the ground was covered in snow, it had been snowing for the past few hours and just then only a few flakes sway its way down and onto Kuroko’s icy blue hair. Kuroko began his steps onto the mushy snow, the silent steps of his reminded him that he was indeed alone at this special time of the year, the couple loved the winter, it was because despite the cold, they could wrap themselves in warmth from the warm mug of hot chocolate, slurp into hot soup noodles, however Kuroko found himself feeling bitter towards the cold breeze, it was cold, too cold for his liking, not even a chocolate could provide him the warmth he longed for, the warmth that was once wrapped around him in a protective embrace as they cuddled for a movie night.
Winter, just wasn’t the same anymore. The mushy steps on snow was piercing to his ears, it was unpleasant, the feeling under his foot was heavy as he lift them up forward, it was a struggle, as though bracing through a blizzard that wasn’t there. Kuroko reach to the small bustling town, where everyone were all smiles and laughter, going on and about to their Christmas shopping.
The town was beautiful at this time of where the streets were covered in snow white and filled with the colors and decorations of the holiday, it was breath taking, calming and cheerful all at once, but for Kuroko it was an eye sore, the glittering lights that were dim seemed so blinding that he had to look away to a darker place.
To his right, was the humble gift store, filled with Christmas themed decorations and gift sets, that is where he gets his materials and cards from but instead, he found himself looming over his reflection of the clear glass of the store, it is too late now to make any Christmas cards, besides, he was on his way to Kise’s Christmas party, he will just greet everyone Christmas wishes then anyway. He continued his journey with heavier steps, he felt that his legs were heavier and hesitant to continue on but he still found himself passing by the cheerful stores and people greeting holiday wishes to each other, and the holiday music singing from the distance in the stores.
It got colder, the soft breeze that blew once more made Kuroko shiver and wince, he clung to himself closer for more warmth, remembering the time when Kagami would pull him closer to him and instantly gave him comfort from the cold air, making his pale skin blush as red as the Christmas lights, and Kagami would chuckle at the obvious sight, Kuroko was never quite good with hiding himself when he gets red.
“Mama! I want some ice cream!” a child asked cheerfully as he tugged onto his mother’s sleeve, in front of Kuroko, a young mother and a child made their way into the ice cream shop, at this kind of season it wasn’t an ideal time to have an ice cream, nevertheless, the mother gladly brought her son in.
Kuroko remembered the December when he and his friends came by to this specific ice cream shop after their triple-dates to the movies.
“Neh~ neh~ Yukio-chii! I want some ice cream!!!” Kise tugged onto Kasamatsu’s arm, the older only rolled his eyes and grumbled behind his scarf
“It’s winter you idiot! Why do you wanna have ice cream at this kind of time?”
“Hhhnnggg!!! Yukiochii!!” Kise whined and tugged once more.
“nnn… Murochin…” Murasakibara called out lowly, Himuro looked up at his taller lover who was pointing at the same ice cream shop
“Eh… Atsushi, are you sure? you might catch a cold” Himuro said motherly and Murasakibara only nodded and look down at Himuro with half pleading eyes, Himuro smiled and nodded
“Alright, alright, but if you do get sick, you can’t run away from medicine this time” Himuro chuckled and made his way into the ice cream shop, Murasakibara followed suit with a happy grin “Okay~”
“YUKIOCHI!!!!” Kise tugged onto Kasamatsu more forcefully this time, the older cussed under his breath before making his way into the ice cream shop “Fine-fine!”
“YAY!!!” Kise cheered, hugging Kasamatsu’s arm
“Yukiochi is treating me ice cream” Kise sangand they entered the shop, leaving Kuroko and Kagami outside the cold, staring at the two couples blankly.
“Kagami-kun….” Kuroko called softly and Kagami looked down, Kuroko looking at him with his big pleading eyes
“Do you think they can make me a milkshake?” Kuroko asked innocently, catching Kagami by surprise
“Bu-but it’s cold, are you sure—“
“Yes” Kuroko answered instantly, with a determined nod
“Because Kagami-kun will keep me warm” Kuroko said with eyes almost glittering with anticipation—to Kagami’s surprise, but Kuroko has always been full of surprise and even adorable ones.
With a smile Kagami nodded “They can blend the vanilla ice cream to a shake if you want” Kagami suggested and Kuroko only walked forward to the ice cream shop
“That’s what I will have” Kuroko said marching in. Even when Kuroko felt his whole body shivering with ice, it was satisfying because he knew that Kagami would bring him into the warmth embrace and melt down the right temperature, and made mental note, to always have cold deserts for winter just for that.
Of course, Kuroko only shook his head at the thought of having a cold vanilla shake, it’d be the death of him. And so he moved forward, pass the ice cream shop.
❄ ❄ ❄
Only a few more blocks away and he’d reach to Kise’s house. Kise invited everyone to his place on the eve to celebrate. Just a few more steps he’d be in front of Kise’s front gate, but with all the crowd’s cheer, chit chats and laughters behind the shadows of the window, he stopped. Kuroko recognised the silhouette of Akashi, who flew all the way from Kyoto and beside him was Furihata, head leaning so comfortably on the red head’s shoulder, he could imagine the satisfying smile on Furihata, and in front of them, he could make could make out the silhouette of Aomine and Sakurai, all laughing at whatever topics they were up to, he could hear Kise’s voice calling for Kasamatsu who gave a grumpy yet affectionate respond, Midorima’s irritated groan and Takao’s infectious laugh, even Murasakibara demanding for more Christmas cookies, and even hear Hyuuga’s and Izuki laughing at some joke Kiyoshi made, Riko and Momoi squealing about some puppies in sweaters or some sort , they were all there, everyone, everyone except Kagami and himself.
Did Kise sent Kagami the Christmas invitation card too? Will Kagami be there? Kagami didn’t sent Kuroko any e-mails for two months nor the e-mail he sent received any respond. What was Kagami up to at this time of year? Was Kagami’s heart clenching as much as his? Was Kagami thinking about him as he did at the very moment of Kagami?
Kuroko clenched his fingers in the pocket of his coat, he wished he had never let Kagami go that time, he wished that when Kagami turned back, it was to tell him that what a mistake it’d be to go and leave him, to hold him in Kagami’s arms and tell him that Kagami’s place was with him, basketball was meaningless without him, that no one could be his shadow other than him, it was a selfish thought, a selfish need for himself to have Kagami all to himself, and yet, he’d let Kagami slip pass him, he let Kagami turn back to the departure hall and that was the last time he had ever laid eyes on him. Kuroko wished he was selfish enough to hold him back, but he knew he couldn’t, he knew he’d give anything to Kagami if that made him happy, he knew deep down, he would never hold Kagami back, even if it means losing him.
“HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!!!” Takao cheered when Kagami opened the door of his apartment, a few boys from Shuutoku came to the Christmas party in Kagami’s house, the raven haired made his way in and Midorima handed a couple of nicely wrapped box to Kagami
“Merry Christmas” Midorima said casually with a thin smile, eyes darting away as soon he pushed up his glasses and walked pass him followed by the rest who were all smiley. Once Kagami placed the presents by the tree where all the mountain piled presents were, he sighed at the crowd in his apartment, he was surprise how the space could hold almost all six of the basketball teams, not that he mind of course, but he was rather concerned if they were comfortable, but by the cheery looks on their faces, they were as merrier as the holiday season.
Kagami looked around and notice a specific blue-haired boy wasn’t anywhere to be seen, that is until he turned around to the balcony and saw the lone boy staring back at him, arms around himself and body shivering frantically. With a surprised squeak, he rushed to the balcony and slid the door open
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE?” Kagami yelled at the shivering boy, now hearing Kuroko’s teeth clattering to the cold
“Ka-ka-ga-ga-mi-mi-ku-kun… I-I-accid—accidentally-lock—locked m-my—self ou—out”
“Figured— You’re going to get frost bite out here!” Kagami grabbed onto Kuroko’s shivering arm to pull him inside but stood on still on the ground
“No-no-no” Kuroko shook his head—although with him shivering, it looked more like his head was buzzing, Kagami stared back at him quizzically, Kuroko nudged his head up and when Kagami figured the signal he looked up and there, a loosely tied mistletoe hung over the shivering Kuroko, with a smirk he look back at Kuroko and gave him a teasing laugh and walk towards the shivering boy
“Ohhh I see… You were trying to trap me but ended up trapping yourself out here, didn’t you?”
“Sh-shu-shut-u-up” Kuroko shivered and if Kagami squinted his eyes he’d notice Kuroko’s embarrassed pout, when Kagami was inch closer to him, he brought the shivering body close to him, because Kuroko wasn’t tall enough, he didn’t manage to tie the mistletoe anywhere above Kagami, instead the mistletoe was right on top of Kagami’s red hair, resting there.
With a soft laugh he leaned down to Kuroko and pressed his lips on the top of his head before moving down to capture Kuroko’s chapped lips, to which Kuroko mentally curse himself for not having his lip balm with him but Kagami didn’t seem to mind.
When they parted, Kuroko was at bliss, he was still cold and shivering but his stomach was filled with pretty butterflies and Kagami only chuckled at Kuroko’s blissful expression.
“Come, let’s whip some hot chocolate” Kagami suggested and Kuroko nodded, the couple stepped inside and saw the sight of a shaking Furihata at one corner, they followed his line of sight and saw Akashi in a charming black suit who was sitting crossed legs, eyes staring at Furihata hungrily, also a happy Mibuchi holding onto a fishing rod and angling a mistletoe right above Akashi like some kind of bait—where did he even get that? The red head had been trying to woo Furihata, and it didn’t look like he was about to give up anytime soon.
Kuroko face palmed himself, feeling embarrassed for the proud Akashi
“Did you give him the same idea?” Kagami asked Kuroko
“ngghhh….yea…. but not this way” Kuroko said miserably behind his hand.
It was their first Christmas together and Kuroko had hoped that his Christmas would just be the same every year, with Kagami right by his side and hoping for a tradition just for the two of them. Of course they didn’t make it that far, Christmas just wouldn’t be the same without Kagami, everything was cold and harsh, as sharp as the biting snowflake that began to fall again at the time.
Kuroko couldn’t get the thought of being surrounded by them without Kagami, he wouldn’t know what to do. He loves his friends, truly, but his longing for his lover brought him the despair he couldn’t bring to face them with his heavy heart. It was too much, too loud to remind him how that one person wasn’t there, how empty it felt, how out of place.
Kuroko breathed in and took steps back before turning around to walk to a different direction, all the house he passed by were filled with joy and company, it slowly screamed to him that he was alone, he needed a place to hide, he needed silence.
❄ ❄ ❄
There was a place Kuroko knew that would be quiet at the hours, it is quite a walk especially up the hill and he wasn’t even half close yet.
The church bells in the distance rang and carolers singing in harmony, the constant jingles, and bell chimes, makes him want to choke himself with tears that were threatening to fall. Kuroko only passed by them, head hung low as thought telling him he was alone this Christmas. Kuroko continued his way towards the hill where the church sits on top.
Kuroko took the stepping stones up to the hill towards the lone Church, there’s usually no one at this hour, except maybe the pastor but it was a quiet place he knew and away from the festive celebration that was going on all around him.
“I CAN OUT SING YOU ANYTIME!” Aomine retorted proudly to Kagami, the duo were arguing right in front of group of carolers who were only blinking quizzically at them. Sakurai and Kuroko had no idea how the argument even broke out, the two had always been bickering about who is better with what and breaking them off was a tiring task, even if it’s not regarding basketball, it was as though it was fate for them to argue ‘til death do them apart.
“FAH-LAH-LAH-LAH-LAH!! LAH-LAH-LAH-LAAAHH!!!” Kagami and Aomine belted—or more like shouted the rhythm of the famous Christmas carol, Kuroko and Sakurai only watched from the distance not wanting people to know they’re associated with those two, as all eyes were already on them.
Sakurai sucked in an awkward breathe before letting it out and turned to Kuroko “So…” both of their eyes met in a friendly smile
“Cinnamon Pretzels?” Sakurai suggested and Kuroko nodded “Yea” and the duo walked away as they chattered away regarding the holiday season and their plans, completely ignoring the scene of their significant other being handled by the securities.
Once he reached the top, overlooking the sparkling city in the night, it was quiet, only the jingles could be heard distance away below the cliff.
With a shivering huff, Kuroko opened the long elegantly crafted door of the church, the wooden creek echoed in the dim hall, it was empty and only the candles by the altar were lit and the light from the night skies illuminating the room from the windows on the sides by the aisle.
Kuroko stepped into the sanctuary, indeed everyone in the city were in their cozy homes to celebrate the holiday along with their loved ones. Kuroko knew of loneliness but not quite as this, it wasn’t a solitary silence that he had been well embraced throughout his years, it was the loneliness that made him sigh and realised, this is what it means to be lonely, to be without the one you love.
Kuroko sat on the benches, he could hear his rapid breathes as chill air escapes his thin cracked lips, his lungs felt a little heavy than usual, heart a little too tight. He had always been hopeful, always knowing the brighter side of things, the positive outcomes which he was always sure would turn up, rarely does he doubts, not until this night, questions looms over his mind like clouded thunder in all directions.
His mind began to wonder, began to question, his heart began to doubtfully hope. Did he leave his lights on by the doorstep before he left? Would Kagami be searching for him there? He isn’t there right now, should he go back? And if Kagami isn’t there yet, maybe he needed to wait inside? Kuroko wasn’t sure of what to make of it or what to do and yet, he intertwined his gloved fingers together—they were shaky, a little cold despite the cozy gloves.
He was lost in his emotions. His eyes searched the dimmed darkness of the church—isn’t this where they get their answers? Why couldn’t Kuroko get the clouds away from him? His sky-blue eyes began to fill with uncontrolled tears that collected until they streamed down to his pink cheeks. Unable to bear the wrenching feeling surrounded him inside out, Kuroko broke into tears that overwhelmed him. His hands clenching together, holding onto the very dear hope that was starting to fade into so thinly that maybe—just maybe, the one he love would appear right before him.
“Why…” Kuroko asked almost helplessly, his eyes begging for answers as he stared into the empty altar where candles were slowly melting away.
Feeling a little frustrated with the silence and the need for answers, he screamed “Why? Why did you have to go—you promised me…” his eyes clenched as hot tears escaped effortlessly
“I…” he gasped for air and shook his head as the last time he bid goodbye to Kagami flashed before him as clear as day, feeling completely helpless and hopeless, he realized that this is reality and no prayers of his could ever be heard
“I shouldn’t had let you go…” his broken voiced whispered in pain.
❄ ❄ ❄
Kuroko has always been a believer, nothing was considered nonsense—not even the time when Kise made up a thing call ‘wishing mermaids’ during Kaijo and Seirin’s joined camping trip. Kuroko believed that everything is possible, in a world so big, in a universe so endless, anything would co-exist, even Santa—not that he believed but he had a hope that maybe the Christmas tradition would somehow make things happen isn’t why they call it a ‘Christmas Miracle’, just as Midorima said that the universe is a mysterious thing and stars has its own way to mend tapestry of time—in which no one really understood what he meant—not even Takao who always say ‘That is that… whatever that means’.
“I FOUND IT!” Kise placed a box by the wooden floor of his living room, mess with Christmas decorations and some glitters sticking away here and there, Kise had some of his friend to help with his Christmas decorations and putting the tree—since he claimed to be helpless with such and too lonely since his parents would be away for a week for a business trip and wil be back on the third day of Christmas, not that he minds at all and allowed him to throw a Christmas party with his friends.
“Found what?” Sakurai asked delightfully after placing one ornament so neatly on the Christmas tree, Aomine scoffed while juggling two ornaments “His dignity” Sakurai glared at Aomine and flicked his forehead who winced and dropped the ornaments “oww” .
“Ohh, these are hand made by my grandmother, she made tons of these and we’d hang one every year” Kise said and opened the box, he took out handful of small wooden planks of various shaped with string tied through the small hole “She said to write a single wish and hang it on the tree and some day it will come true!” Kise chirped “Although I think she’s just bored in the country side and have absolutely no idea what to do with the remaining logs she has— but it’s a great tradition and I want you guys to have one and hang it up on this tree! So pick whichever one you like and write something on it, and then we will hang it together all at once!” Kise said excitedly, the rest smiled and gladly took interest on the hand made wishing-ornament and pick their favourite shape.
“You know, I’m really grateful you guys are willing to come over and keep me company, so we get to share the tree this year!” Kise smiled widely as he rest his head on Kasamatsu’s shoulder who was writing on his penguin-shaped wooden ornament.
Kuroko stared at his ornament for a brief moment before looking up at Kise
“Um, Kise-kun” Kuroko called softly
“Would it be alright if I have another one for my tree?” Kuroko asked and Kise smiled widely
“Of course—we have plenty of them—ohh in fact take this one instead” Kise got up and searched the box and took out a two turtle-dove shaped into a kiss
“Here, this is a special one!” Kise said as he hand Kuroko the wooden ornament and smiled up at him “Thanks, Kise-kun”
and with the special ornament, he wrote a single name of the one he longed for.
Kuroko shook the memory off his head, a foolish thing he did, to believe the universe would somehow make his wish happen. Foolish to believe that this was the month that would bring him the breeze of serenity, of peace, of dream about the impossible and believe it’s possible, of tears for what went away but eventual smile for what will come, a month where one allows magic to give the vision of a brighter side, full of love and hope, because that was what Kuroko had been holding for so long and slowly in his own hands he felt it crumble away and no amount of tight grasp could hold it from falling apart.
Just when Kuroko was about to break into more tears as he clenched where his heart was, the church door swung opened heavily as winter breeze swarmed in insistently and caressed the walls and blew out the candles as they reached the altar. Kuroko wiped his teary eyes and looked over his shoulder, there stood a shadow of a man by the entrance, it was dark and the face of the man couldn’t be seen however, Kuroko swear he recognised him by his shadowed figure, as though the chilled wind took his breathe away and he had fallen into deep sleep and it was all just a dream, a figment of his imagination played out to his desire, but the pinch from the snow that swung by across his cheek told him otherwise—could it be…
❄ ❄ ❄
With a thumping heart, with the crumbling hope that slowly mended itself, Kuroko had the image of Kagami from his memories, Kagami’s crescent red eyes ever so fierce yet gentle whenever Kagami smiled down on him, Kagami’s determined grin and his sleeping face whenever Kuroko wakes up a little too early to turn and meet his closed eyes, listening to his steady breathing as it slowly puts himself back to sleep.
Kuroko panted as his legs slowly gave way on the second peak towards the top of the mountain after Seirin’s trail run into the unsteady terrain of the forest. While most of Seirin members had already reached the top, and Riko to be first (also blowing in her be-damned whistle) calling onto the rest to quickly reach the top if they wish to not die of dehydration—also comes with lunch treat which was not prepared by herself which she considerably noted.
As cheers, pants, laughter’s and almost dying wails of Seirin’s members echoing above him, he knew that he was the last one who is to reach the top. He smiled as he heard the satisfied cheers of his members, he couldn’t wait to join up with them and cheer along, sitting together on the top of the hill as they watch the sun set, it is a wonderful view Riko mentioned to them, however yet, Kuroko sighed, his legs trembling and knees felt rather wobbly to his comfort especially with the fact that they are about hundreds of miles above ground. Have they forgotten about him? Of course not—well his presence is often forgotten and unseen, which was something he used to. Kuroko looked up towards the last peak of the mountain, so hot, so steep, so high, with little support—yeap, he’s going to die with that wobbly legs of his. Kuroko hung his head low, still trying to catch his shaky breath.
“oii! Kuroko!” Kagami shouted from the top, Kuroko looked up with squinted eyes, the evening sun was hot and bright at this point and he could only make out the silhouette of Kagami in front of the glaring sun. “What are you waiting for? Come on up here” Kagami shouted, Kuroko didn’t respond, he was too tired, too sweaty, too light to even support his own weight at the moment.
Kagami only trailed his way down and once he was close enough, Kuroko could see him clearly. Kagami’s concerned eyes and the close proximity made him blush—thank god for the worked body heat that could hide his red cheeks and ears.
“Are you alright?”Kagami asked and Kuroko only manage to nod weakly, even his head and neck felt light and shaky. He only looked away and eyes were fighting to stay open, he didn’t want to admit that he reached his peak of exhaustion, something about it made him feel weak and small.
“Come on—“ Kagami said and he bent down and picked Kuroko up by the waist and hoist Kuroko over his shoulder like a big bag of chips, Kuroko being small and at the state of exhaustion he couldn’t even wiggle his way out frantically even if he wanted to.
“Ka-Kagami-kun—“ Kuroko manage to stutter out of surprise and embarrassment , Kagami being proud and with his energy still filtered up only grin
“You know, you were the one who taught me about relying on your team—so you better practice what you preach.. also…” Kagami smiled mischievously which was of course unseen by Kuroko who could only twist his neck as far as looking at the back of Kagami’s head, with a surprise smack on his bottom, Kuroko only let out a small hic of surprise
“I get a little of this view” Kagami laughed and began climbing the steep hill with ease. Kuroko only smiled down at Kagami’s buttom, which is a little too tempting to give it a smack but it’d be too dangerous and they would really fall to their death, so close yet so far.
As the shadow approached approached, it called “Hello?” the confident yet hesitant voice called out. It was familiar, as Kagami’s deep voice rang in his ears like it was just yesterday they have spoken. Kuroko could make out how the rest of the intonation of the voice, how it would sound like when it whispers, how it would laugh so shamelessly, how determined it would sound like, and of course, how it would call his name.
Kuroko remembered the fond memory when they spent their very last winter together when Kagami took Kuroko out for a ski trip, the last time they have ever spent their moments together, just the two of them before the end of winter break and before five months when Kagami had to depart to America.
After their last run down the mountain, the couple head into their room in the resort and the both of them taking turns for the hot shower, Kagami whipped up some hot chocolate and ginger snaps in a tray while Kuroko took his turn for the hot bath. Once they were in their comfortable and warm clothes, they snuggled under the fluffy futon while they binge watch Christmas movies for their last night, it was so cozy and warm that neither of them wanted to move even after they finished their hot chocolate and Kuroko taking the last bite of the ginger snap, just the warmth and having each other for company right in their arms was all that they needed.
Kuroko was so comfortable that he barely moved from Kagami’s embrace throughout the two movies, and right in middle of their third movie of ‘How The Grinch Stole Christmas’ Kagami could hear soft snores coming from Kuroko who was snuggled close to him and head resting on his chest. Kagami smiled and pressed his lips on the crown of his lover’s head, and ever so softly he whispered “I love you”.
Kuroko knew that that, wasn’t a dream after all, he truly felt the loving touch of Kagami while he was just about to fall asleep that night and the soft whisper right before he drifted to deep sleep.
“Kagami…” Kuroko only mouthed the name as he slowly stood up from his seat, eyes not tearing away from the dark figure.
“Kuroko?” the voice called this time, Kuroko’s breath hitched as the voice called his name. As soon the light hit just right revealing the mysterious person, matching red crimson eyes and hair, that goofy and confident grin, the small twinkle reflecting his necklace, it was him, there stood before Kuroko, the man that he had long for, replayed in all his memories, there he was standing right before him
“Hey” Kagami greeted and spread his arms welcomingly.
“Ka-Kagami-kun…” Kuroko called out inaudibly, his eyes couldn’t believe it but he hope, he hoped so dearly that everything that was standing before him was real and not figments of his memories that formed his delusions.
“KAGAMI-KUN!” Kuroko cried out as he twisted his heels and ran towards the still grinning red head, arms wide open just for him.
Kuroko felt like he was chasing a dream and everything before him was just his imagination but he so needed to grasp it and possibly somehow, make it real himself, with the last ounce of hope he had left, he risked himself a greater deal of an already broken heart, the possibilities of the figment to shatter into pieces just as he wrapped his arms around it—no—maybe, just maybe his love really did came back to him.
Just when Kuroko threw himself into Kagami and wraped his arms tightly around him, he cried in relief, in pain, in happiness and all he wanted to do was to hold on so tight and never let go. Kagami embraced Kuroko just as tightly as he buried his nose in Kuroko’s sky-blue hair, inhaling the scent of vanilla that he longed for.
“Kagami-kun!” Kuroko cried and he cried hard, every inch of his body was trembling against the taller one
“Why?” Kuroko cried
“And after all this time all you could say is ‘Hey’?” he added after a gasp of air, his fingers curl tighter onto Kagami’s coat
“It hurts—it-it hurts so much! I—I missed you! I missed you so much!” Kuroko cried and looked up with his teary red eyes, Kagami only smiled down at him and brought his hands to caress Kuroko’s damped pink cheeks and wipe the corner of his eyes with his thumb
“I missed you too, I really did—there was never a time I’ve never thought about you” Kagami said tenderly
“I… I shouldn’t had let you go” Kuroko whimpered and Kagami shook his head quickly
“No—I… I shouldn’t had let you down… and I just…” Kagami paused as he stared down at Kuroko’s eyes, so much questions, so much pain, so vulnerable, so fragile, like a thin layer of crystal glass that was slowly cracking, he never meant to hurt him, he never meant to hurt them.
“I don’t know what went wrong—I—I tried—I thought a lot and I…” Kagami breathed, crimson eyes slowly forming tears
“I just want to make things right… I… I want to keep us together” Kagami said and leaned down to capture Kuroko’s thin lips.
“I’m so sorry” Kagami whispered against his lips “I promise, I’ll make it better this time—we’ll be much, much better this time” he promised with a small peck and Kuroko smiled, single tear streamed down his cheeks
“Promise?”
“Swear by it” Kagami assured and they sealed it with a gentle kiss, a kiss that assured Kuroko that this wasn’t a figment of his memories that turned into a delusion, he didn’t replay any memories he had because Kagami is right here in his arms, in his reach.
“Come on” Kagami said gently as they pull away
“We’re late for a party” he added and Kuroko smiled and nodded, Kuroko reached out to Kagami’s awaiting hands as they strolled their way into the snow, everything was real at this very moment and Kuroko relives it in this Christmas, with his one wish that came true.