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Backstage Shenanigans

Summary:

Sequel to A Set-up for a Romantic Comedy. This is the life Kakashi and Obito share.

Notes:

This is more of a collection of various moments than a story with a linear plot, because I hadn't planned on a sequel. Most of these take place post-Set-up Up For A Romantic Comedy (why didn't I choose a shorter title it's awful). This is split into two parts just to keep things a bit more organized.

Translation by sawelu into Chinese.

Work Text:

Obito pointed at his so-called friends as they approached his table. "No. Don't even sit next to me. You're all traitors. I can't even look at you guys anymore."

Kurenai smirked as she blatantly disobeyed and plopped down in the seat next to him. Asuma didn't look apologetic at all while Shizune greeted him with a bright eager smile. "Oh, don't be like that, Obito," cooed Shizune. "You have to admit, it all worked out for the best in the end."

"Agreed. Technically, you should owe us for the fruition of your relationship," said Kurenai.

Obito looked to Asuma to see if at least the other man sympathized with him, but he simply shrugged and said, "I lost twenty ryo on you." The audacity of his classmates was astounding.

It might've been due to his recent newfound happiness, but Obito couldn't find it within himself to be genuinely peeved at them. Suddenly recalling the silver-haired jounin made his cheeks redden, which he failed to conceal from his surrounding spectators.

Shizune leaned in and grinned slyly. "What's that? Are you feeling a little embarrassed?"

"Oh my, I wonder who he could be thinking of," remarked Kurenai.

"Hm, probably recalling scenes from last night..."

He slammed his fists down on the table, blush having spread considerably from their blithe teasing. "You are awful. All of you! What I did with Kakashi last night has nothing to do with you!" He shouted a bit too loudly. It should be noted that they were in the cafeteria room with numerous other tables occupied by fellow shinobi. Many stares were directed their way.

Obito slunk down in his seat and wondered if he could drown himself in his half-finished miso soup. Ever since he got involved with Kakashi, it was just one humiliation after another. That bastard was a curse.

Shizune patted his slumped frame. "Cheer up, Obito. We're happy for you!"

"It was about time too," commented Asuma.

"I'm fifty ryo richer because of you two," chimed Kurenai.

"You're all dead to me."

His so-called friends laughed merrily at his expense.

-------------------------------------------------------------

For someone who grew up emotionally detached, with no close relations after his only living family member became a mere fragment of a memory, and who grew accustomed to being alone for the majority of his life, Kakashi found the warmth at his side to be a newly welcomed comfort. Even if his companion was a total blanket hog and currently had his leg haphazardly thrown over his own legs while his left arm dangled over the edge of the bed. The double-sized mattress was cramped with their combined occupancy, even with their bodies pressed as close together as possible, there was barely enough room to move. On top of that, it was pretty old and low-quality. Then again, Kakashi's own bed wasn't any better.

It was the juncture when the sun peaked barely above the horizon and faint streams of sunlight shone in between the drawn blinds. It was a thing they both had in common, they always closed the blinds to avoid being woken up to harsh daylight. Though Kakashi tended to rise early anyways, even on days off, and this day was no different. He felt relaxed enough to sleep in, but he favoured to open his eyes for the opportunity of witnessing Obito in his natural sleeping habitat. It was a sight to behold, with all of the blankets tangled in his legs while his shirt rode up to reveal his stomach, not to mention his slack expression and the way he seemed to unconsciously curl into Kakashi's body.

It was a habit he was becoming used to, and that alone was strange enough.

In the back of his mind, he would never get rid of this niggling feeling that said he didn't deserve this. For a shinobi like him, whose hands were stained with the blood of countless lives, he never imagined in his wildest dreams that happiness would find him.

Of course, Kakashi didn't believe in silly notions such as happiness. But this contentment, this ease that comes with being at peace was a delusion he long forsook in favour of protecting that which he cherished most. So imagine his surprise the day Obito confronted him with his straightforward feelings. It made Kakashi embarrassed at his own lack of courage at those kinds of things. Obito was all the more admirable in his eyes, since they never would've reached this point without his frankness. Someone like Kakashi would've been fine suppressing and enduring the burden of his own emotions.

He watched the picture before him, lest it should be a figment of his imagination and fade from reality, tracing with his eyes the contours making up his best friend. He wanted to touch him, and so he did, because he was able to now. Back then, he could only settle for the slightest of brushes and friendly gestures that drove him to the brink of his barely contained shell. It was a wonder Obito didn't notice sooner.

Observing up close, he reached the conclusion that the Uchiha had a handsome face with a bit plain features, but it was certainly a maturation from his younger self. If someone had told the old Kakashi that he would end up falling for the crybaby Uchiha, he would've dubbed them stark raving mad. But now look at him, chasing after his comrade like a desperate fool, if only to capture just slightest of his attention. Obito probably didn't even realize the extent of his true feelings, how all those years it ached to keep the distance between them but want more, how he was wary of every person Obito interacted with because of the sole possibility that they would take away what they had together.

God, he had it bad.

Kakashi let out a sigh as he reached for his Icha Icha which was on the bedside table, flipping it open to his bookmark to read on his side. A chapter later, Obito stirred in his sleep, eyes still closed as he mumbled into his companion's chest, "...Wazz time is it..."

"Around six-thirty."

"...You're inhuman..." He slurred on his words.

"Then go back to sleep."

"...You're talking too much," he retorted.

As usual, Obito liked making no sense. He was the one who initiated the conversation. "How so?"

Instead of answering, Obito leaned up, eye half-lidded and not all too conscious, and captured Kakashi's lips in a languid, open-mouthed kiss. He swirled his tongue lazily against the other's, actually missing a few times and accidentally smearing his saliva against his pale cheek. Kakashi for one was pleasantly surprised, even with the shocking lack of skill, as he usually was by Obito's sudden bouts of affection without warning. It reaffirmed him of the fact that Obito returned his feelings, which Kakashi still had trouble believing to this day.

Just as Kakashi was about to lower his book, Obito broke the kiss off abruptly and slunk back down to the warmth of Kakashi's chest, muttering, "Better." He seemed to drift back to sleep almost instantly.

Kakashi was frozen there, arm bent at an awkward angle and lips parted as he stared down at Obito. Better? What was that supposed to mean? Obito always had to make things complex and difficult to understand. Sighing at the lost opportunity, Kakashi had no choice but to go back to his Icha Icha, even when the cause of all his desires was right in front of him.

Over an hour later, Obito roused again, this time seemingly more alert than the previous time. Kakashi was leaning against the headboard with his book in his hand as he noticed his bedmate lifting himself up on his elbows.

The sleepyhead absorbed his surroundings for a few seconds before demanding, "The time."

"It's almost eight."

He nodded, shaking his messy black locks as he did. "Good." Stretching out his limbs, he said, "I don't have to be anywhere until twelve."

Kakashi hummed in acknowledgement. "By the way...what did you mean by 'better'?"

"Hm?"

"An hour and a half ago you woke up, kissed me, and mumbled 'better' before going back to sleep."

Obito blinked. "You mean...that wasn't part of the dream?"

"Afraid not. What dream?"

Obito leaned his head back on his pillow. "It was really weird. Well. You were there. I was there. We were fighting about something. Except I was in the wrong and you were right, and I knew that but I still wouldn't back down."

"So our every day quarrels, right?"

"No, shut up. You're not always right." He lightly pushed at the other man's side. "This was different. I was evil, like the big bad that everyone teamed up to defeat. I had a head full of illusions and world domination. Technically I was supposed to be dead but I was actually alive, and nobody knew because I wore this stupid mask. Then you found out after fighting me, we went into the space time dimension to duke it out while you kept trying to talk me over from the dark side. You kept going on about the goodness buried within me."

Kakashi listened to his description blankly. "You should write a book." He paused in realization. "...So you kissed me in order to shut up my appeals to your morality."

"Yeah. Which is weird, because if I was evil, why don't I just stab you?"

That wasn't the weird part here, but Obito always had his own way of thinking. "...I'm glad you decided not to." That would've had a bad reaction in the real world.

Obito shrugged like he didn't care about that possibility. He turned to Kakashi curiously. "If I turned bad, what would you do?"

Even as an alternate timeline that was hard to believe. "Are you planning to?" He asked purely to tease him.

"Hell no. Nobody's going to want me as Hokage if I'm evil."

"Then we don't have to consider that possibility."

Obito just laid there and stared up at the ceiling in thought. He turned onto his side and stared up at Kakashi. "...You...wouldn't give up on me, right? Even if I was lost beyond hope."

Kakashi paused before saying, "I'd whip you into a right state of mind."

"Think you could?" Obito challenged on purpose.

"We all know who the stronger shinobi is here."

"Yeah, me."

"Talking big doesn't get you anywhere."

Obito grinned deviously. "Make me shut up then."

Kakashi could only smile softly before leaning down to seal his lips over Obito's partly scarred ones. Years ago, he would have spent his dreams wondering how the black-haired man would taste, how it would linger on his tongue, and now each savour of each kiss was electrifying. They shifted so that Kakashi was hovering over Obito, giving both of them more room on either side.

"You need a bigger bed," observed Kakashi while propped up on one elbow, chest aligned against Obito's as their heated breath mingled together.

"Too much of a hassle. Why don't you just move your bed in here? We can connect them."

Kakashi had to halt the arm that was half-way up the Uchiha's shirt to look him in the eye. "...Is that an invitation to start living together?"

When Obito realized the insinuation of his words, a fierce blush overtook his features and Kakashi would never see such a finer appearance. He tried to slink back, but it was near impossible in the small space between the mattress and Kakashi's firm body. Obito bit his lip and muttered, "...If you want to. You don't have to, I know how you like your privacy and everything, it was just a -"

Kakashi stopped him before he went on another one of his ramblings. "Let's live together."

Obito gaped dumbly. "...Okay."

Kakashi huffed in amusement. He could've made some snarky remark, but right now all he wanted was within his grasp, and he planned on relishing it for as long as he could. His life was settled, and it belonged to Uchiha Obito.

He was so far over the edge here.

-------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey...if you and Kakashi-sensei are dating...are you guys going to have kids?" Naruto cocked his head curiously.

Obito stared horrifyingly at the boy. Sasuke was beside him, face set like he wanted to laugh maniacally. Oh no, he was not going to be the one to explain the birds and the bees to the jinchuuriki. "Why don't you ask Kakashi-sensei?" He suggested gently.

The blonde child pouted. "But I want you to tell me."

This was one of those moments Obito rued being the favoured one among the kids.

"They're both guys, they can't have kids," said Sasuke condescendingly, god bless the boy for interposing in this awkward time of need.

"But guys have kids too."

"Yeah, with a woman. You need a woman and a man to make a child." He huffed, a soft idiot implied in his tone.

"Oh..." Naruto said, seemingly in understanding, but not really. If fate was on Obito's side, Naruto would leave it at just that. "Why?" There came the dreaded one-word question.

Sasuke looked to Obito, obviously tossing the baton with a, this is your problem now. He didn't even want to know how Sasuke seemed to obtain this knowledge already.

Where was Kakashi when he needed him as a scapegoat? Oh yeah, he was busy using Obito as a scapegoat, damn him. "Naruto...what Sasuke said is right. Females have important...bodily functions that males don't have, so they can't give birth."

"But then how are you going to revive your clan?" He genuinely asked.

That was the first time someone actually asked him that question ever since he started dating Kakashi. To be honest, he hadn't thought much into it. Since technically, he wasn't the sole survivor. There was still Sasuke and even Itachi, who despite being a rogue ninja, had to get urges sometimes. But if he had children, they'd probably turn out evil and want to exterminate the clan again like little mini slaughterers, so maybe no. "I'm riding my hopes on Sasuke here," he said, patting his cousin's shoulder.

Sasuke sneered. "I don't want kids. I only want my revenge."

Then extinction it is. Amazing how all the remaining Uchihas turned out to be this way. "It'll figure itself out. Don't worry about us." He smiled at Naruto's thoughtfulness, ruffling his yellow head of hair.

Naruto beamed at him. "I won't let you guys die out, Obito-san! I'll help you revive your clan!"

"How are you going to do that?" Sasuke mocked.

Naruto had to pause to seriously ponder this. "Um. I'll make your kids for you!" He jumped up enthusiastically.

"I don't think you understood what we just said," stated Obito.

"That's admirable of you to offer, Naruto," came Kakashi's low voice as he suddenly appeared at Obito's side, slinging an arm over the other's shoulder. "...But Obito and I already try every single day."

Obito gaped a furious red like he couldn't believe what the man just said. Sasuke was visibly disgusted at the disclosure and covered his ears in a vain attempt to drown everything out.

"...Really?" Naruto said, blinking unknowingly.

"Yes, we work very hard at it."

Obito snapped out of his surprise and elbowed his partner in the side. "Kakashi. You can't tell him that!" He hissed.

"He has to learn someday. There's no use in hiding it from him."

"Still. He is eight. And he doesn't need to know we do...that every day!" Obito couldn't fight the blush that came up with the admission. "I especially don't think Sasuke needed to know too!" Poor kid was going to have nightmares probably.

"But I thought you needed a girl?" Naruto sounded confused at the contradictions.

Obito shot Kakashi an exasperated look. "Look at what you did, now he's utterly lost."

"Nothing a little Icha Icha can't fix."

Minato had to be turning over his grave right now.

"We're not having kids, Naruto. Don't listen to what comes out of this guy's mouth." Obito pointed to the masked man.

"You saying you don't want kids?" Kakashi asked, playing along with the scenario because he obviously liked seeing Obito struggle.

"Not yours, that's for sure," he deadpanned in return.

"...Hm. I think you'd make a great dad."

"Please, we already have Sasuke and Naruto to worry about, and they're already a handful by themselves," he stated, voice dripping with sarcasm.

Naruto jumped up and down. "Does that mean you guys are my adopted dads?"

The sharingan pair stopped to stare down at the excitable young boy. Obito bent down on one knee to reach his eye-level. "...Not so much...we're more like your adopted uncles, if anything."

That alone was enough to smack the biggest grin on Naruto's face. "Cool! I've never had an uncle before! Does that make Sasuke my relative?"

"No," Sasuke denied outright, apparently listening in on that one part.

Kakashi arched a brow at Obito. "...You're right. I don't think there's a need for anymore kids."

"Hey, if we're lucky, maybe we can adopt Sakura into the family."

-------------------------------------------------------------

Takes place pre-Set-up For A Romantic Comedy.

"Are you truly okay with this?" Gai asked, arms crossed over his chest. How unusual for the man to show serious concern over a matter like this.

Kakashi turned to his comrade with an apathetic gaze, but Gai could tell his outer appearance didn't reflect his inner turmoil. "...If I wasn't, I wouldn't still be here," he spoke methodically, like the words were practiced.

They watched from afar, where in the distance a few yards off, Obito chatted gaily to a lovely young woman who clasped her hands nervously against her chest. She wasn't a shinobi, she was a civilian Kakashi didn't recognize, but apparently Obito knew her on good terms. The Uchiha laughed and rubbed the back of his neck timidly. It was the first time Kakashi saw him act like that since Rin left them.

"...He does look excited," confessed Gai, watching them with a grin.

"Why wouldn't he be?" Kakashi stated. This was what Obito always wanted, for a pretty girl to confess to him, to live the life he always dreamed.

Gai nodded in understanding and tossed an arm around the silver-haired man's shoulders. "Have heart, my stoic comrade! A broken heart is nothing that will dampen our fiery spirits!"

"I'm not broken-hearted." Maybe a couple of years ago, that would've been right to say. But after the countless losses and thinking what could've been, he learned to simply appreciate the moments presented right before him. As long as he knew Obito was happy and alive, he would be content to live his life just the way it is. Even if he had to endure, even if he had to spend the rest of his days longing for a person out of his reach, he would bear it, because he knew better than to take Obito's friendship for granted. That much had already saved his life plenty of times.

"You can drop the tough guy act, Kakashi. Come! Cry freely unto my shoulder!"

"...No thanks."

The conversation between Obito and the girl seemed to end as he bowed and said his farewells, the girl going the opposite way of him. After they separated, he started heading towards Gai and Kakashi.

Maito - not so presumably dull-witted - Gai sensed the undertone of the situation and bounded up, shouting, "...Ah! I've just recalled...um. Uh - an important...thing elsewhere. It needs my attention immediately so I'll -"

"Just go," Kakashi helpfully pushed.

"...Right!" Gai whipped around with a rapid spin and faced Obito, setting his hands on the shorter man's shoulders. "Obito! I wish you the best of luck!" He shot him a wink.

Obito, not completely comprehending, said, "...Uh-huh." Then Gai just leaped away, like a hyperactive chimpanzee the man was.

"What was that about?" Obito asked with a light laugh.

Gai meant well, even if he could be a bit overwhelming sometimes. Kakashi just shrugged. "...You know Gai..."

His friend nodded, because really that was the only explanation one needed. "You want to go grab dinner?" He asked casually.

Kakashi's mind wasn't quite as eased as Obito's. So he couldn't help but say, "...What about that girl?" He mentally prepared himself for the worst possible outcome.

"Oh, you mean Seika-chan? Ah...well, she's a shop assistant to that dessert place down the street." He blushed timidly, and that was not a good sign for Kakashi's yearning heart. "She...confessed to me just now."

That was no surprise. He already figured out that much. Kakashi didn't respond, finding himself unable to find the proper congratulatory words.

"She said she noticed me a few times before...and she asked me to dinner. But I - uh, turned her down." He scratched his cheek sheepishly.

Kakashi felt guilty for the torrent of relief that unraveled the tension in his body. He really was trash. But he honestly didn't expect that answer. "What a waste." He was only digging himself deeper. Good going, Kakashi.

Obito shrugged briefly. "I guess I do like her, she's nice and all but...I don't know. I don't think it would work out between us. I'm a shinobi, I never know when I might be gone and there's the imminent dangers on top of that." He didn't seem too remorseful over the loss. "...Why do you care?"

"Just curious," he responded a bit abruptly.

"...Oh. Well, it doesn't matter." They turned and started walking down the street in the direction of the setting sun. "I don't have time for relationships anyways! I'm waaay too busy getting ready to succeed the Hokage." He grinned cheekily.

Walking shoulder to shoulder with his target of his affections, Kakashi breathed out softly in amusement. "You're not quite there yet."

"Of course not, but I'm a pretty big candidate for the running - not that anybody has directly said anything to me yet - but still. I'll be the youngest person to become Hokage, even younger than Minato-sensei was. Heh. I'll even make you my right-hand man when the time comes."

Kakashi considered that for a moment. "Sounds good."

Obito had to pause and stare incredulously. "Wait...really?"

"Sure. Somebody's got to make sure you don't screw up."

Obito bumped his shoulder against his partner's. "Shut it. You'll see, you won't regret sticking with me."

With those words and that stunning smile, Kakashi already knew he could never regret this. Ever. Even if in the years to come, he was alone and bitter with a split heart, he would never renounce the memories of the Obito he learned to cherish overtime. These small moments would be the ones engraved in his mind. Because this was the extent of his devotion. Above all, he craved for the happiness that Obito deserved, even if he was just a small part of a bigger picture. "Better stay by your side then. I'm placing all my bets on you."

The black-haired jounin shot him a wide grin. "...Anyways...you in the mood for nabe?"

"You treating, future Hokage?"

Obito narrowed his eye. "That's dirty."

Kakashi closed his eye in a hidden smile.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Raidou overlooked the sparring groups in his composed manner, arms crossed as the rest of the adult jounin before him engaged in hand-to-hand combat. It was an event they assembled occasionally, to hone their martial arts and really to unwind from the stress of bloodshed against true enemies. It held plenty of benefits, such as getting used to attacking your comrades should a situation like that ever arise. As shinobi, they had to be prepared for every possible outcome.

There was Asuma and Ibiki, Gai and Ebisu, Hayate and Kurenai, Anko and Genma, and of course...Kakashi and Obito. Admittedly, the strangest face-off of the bunch as Raidou had observed the last hour.

The sparring started off with nothing unusual, they did the commencement signal for a fair, clean fight, and transitioned into the battle smoothly. Being partners for as long as they were, the two obviously had a good understanding of the other's attacks and patterns, predicting one another's moves and acting accordingly, like a choreographed dance. Even without their sharingans activated, they read each other within split seconds. Kakashi could even predict the fumbles Obito would make. It started off with a simple hand-to-hand, as they exchanged punches and diverted blows with their forearms. Then Obito reacted with a sweep of his leg, which Kakashi easily avoided by jumping in the air and retaliated with his own roundhouse kick. It went on like this with continuous hits and blocks from either side until Kakashi finally knocked Obito down.

In a formal match, it would end with that, but considering this was a match for fun, Kakashi pressed his weight atop of Obito and pinned him to the ground, arms locked on either side of his head as they faced each other. The Uchiha glared defiantly, but Raidou swore there was a hint of a grin on his face.

It was weird, Obito should have known how to get out of a hold like that, with Kakashi straddling his hips and arms occupied, it should be no problem to throw his assailant off. But all he did was grind his hips upwards in a very slow and deliberate movement with not enough strength to actually budge him, causing the silver-haired man's perceptible eye to darken as their gazes locked. Obito was full on smirking now, clearly challenging him with his enticing body language. Knowing their competitive history, there was no doubt in Kakashi's response.

The Copy-nin used his knee to spread Obito's legs farther apart, giving him an ample shot at the man's groin which he could easily take, but he didn't. With their faces centimetres apart, Kakashi let go of one of Obito's arms and snaked his gloved hand down his partner's side, grazing past his behind, and teasingly around the inside of his thigh to the front of...

It was when Raidou heard Obito's barely stifled moan that he figured that was enough.

Against his better judgement, Raidou approached the pair and cleared his throat. Obito hastily snapped out of his stupor and made direct eye-contact with Raidou. In an abrupt movement that was more instinctual than anything else, Obito simultaneously elbowed Kakashi in the head and heaved himself up. Kakashi fell over to the side in a completely unguarded way that Raidou never saw before. It was utterly uncharacteristic of the genius, and sort of hilarious to witness.

"Raidou! Goddamn. T - this is - uh." Obito leaped to his feet, desperately trying to fix his appearance and not stumble over his articulation. Blotches of faded red coated his entire face. "Kakashi, that fucker, he was just fooling around and being an ass..."

"You didn't seem that adverse to it," said Kakashi, rubbing the spot where Obito hit him.

Obito turned on him with a livid gaze, shoulders raised and jaw set. "Shut up! I did not enjoy that!" He seemed more embarrassed than angry.

Raidou opened his mouth to supply his own opinion, but then thought the wiser and retracted it. Obito stomped off in a fuming huff, passing Raidou as he said to him, "Next time, you tell Gai he can spar with Kakashi." His face was still red as left the training grounds. Kakashi went after him, saying something about 'being petulant' and 'I am not sparring with Gai'.

Raidou watched them walk off with a disbelieving look. Aoba went up to Raidou and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

The scarred man pointed in the direction they left. "They're..."

"Yeah. They are," affirmed Aoba without needing it to be said.

"...I see."

For a whole week, Obito avoided looking Raidou in the eye. But Raidou found it unnecessary, since he didn't particularly mind the whole incident. He had to admit, they made a good couple, and the both of them were all the better because of it.

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