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Chapter Text

Jeon Wonwoo always felt like there was something important missing from his life. He didn’t know at what point in his childhood that he started feeling like this— but there was this spot in his heart that was empty and hollow all the same.

It felt like whatever he was missing was always on the tip of his tongue; but somehow, he simply couldn’t remember it. Over time, this feeling of forgetting that “important thing” turned into a nagging itch on his back. No matter how much he tried to reach it, he couldn’t.

People would tell him that whatever he was missing was “love", obviously. What else could it be? He just needed to find love, and poof! That void in him would be filled.

But Wonwoo never understood that.

How could he? ...When even on his 18th birthday, an inky tattoo never scrawled itself across his wrist. After all, that tattoo was supposed to tell him who would ease the emptiness in his heart. It was supposed to tell him who would put that missing piece back in its place.

But maybe everything happened for a reason.

And for Wonwoo, he would soon learn that his reason came in the form of Kim Mingyu.

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Chapter Text

“Kim Mingyu.”

Mingyu rises from his chair in alarm, having almost dozed off through the class. “Yes ma’am?”

His teacher shoots him a frigid stare through her spectacles. “The headmaster is calling you down to his office.”

Headmaster Yoon is calling him? Why?

Mingyu gulps before giving a quick bow and sets out from the arched stone doorway. He can hear his classmates some ways behind him, snickering that he’s in trouble. Mingyu really can’t believe they’re around similar ages at this point.

He walks down the tunneled red-carpeted stone corridors and up the winding flight of stairs, which leads to the headmaster’s office.

He enters the office slowly, seeing that it’s extremely dark and dimly lit by merely a couple candles. Mingyu squints. It’s as though there are no walls in this room, only shelves of books towering row after row, thoroughly encasing the place from floor to ceiling.

“Um sir,” Mingyu clears his throat. “It’s Mingyu. You called me?”

“Mingyu,” the headmaster’s elegant, ribbon-like voice calls out and he jumps. “Come in, come in.”

He shuffles deeper into the room, and finally sees the headmaster sitting lazily on his velvet-cushioned seat with his feet propped up on his littered desk. Paper, ink, and quills are strewn ubiquitously, and the ivory wood isn’t even visible anymore.

“Mingyu, I told you to call me Jeonghan.”

“I’d rather not sir.”

“No, I insist. Call me Jeonghan,” the headmaster gives him an impish grin. He doesn’t appear much older than Mingyu even though he should look like he’s in his late thirties, which makes him wonder if it’s natural, or if he has unique methods to keep him looking young.

“What did you call me for?”

Jeonghan’s face lights up. “Ah, yes, I’ve been watching you very carefully lately... and I just thought you were ready.”

“R-ready?” Mingyu stutters.

“Yes!” Jeonghan claps like an overeager child. “Your marks are consistent and you ace all your exams and tests. Of course you’re ready!”

Mingyu nods nervously.

His classes had all been painfully easy this semester, so no wonder he was doing well. Higher Level Astronomy, Physics, Human studies, Soulmate Service Management, and Incantations were all the subjects he was good at, so he isn’t certain if the headmaster is right about him “being ready”.

He appears so set on the idea though that Mingyu isn’t sure if it’s any use trying to fight it.

“Wait here for a bit ok? I’m just going to get something.”

Jeonghan closes his eyes and mutters a simple incantation before he vanishes, leaving Mingyu alone in the musty office that smells like ancient books— something he had gotten quite accustomed to, seeing as he spent most of his time in the library.

Jeonghan returns shortly after. “Here it is!” he declares, walking up to Mingyu.

A small shining black badge rests in his palm as well as a card with Mingyu’s picture and information.

His jaw drops open.

“When I said you were ready Mingyu, I meant it.”

“O-oh, uh I—” Mingyu stutters and his words just come to a halt. He can’t believe this is happening.

“We don’t hold excellence back,” Jeonghan winks.

He can only stand there feeling dumbfounded.

“Tomorrow will be your first day on the job. Be on the headquarters main floor, by the main desk, right on the 18th hour,” Jeonghan says as he places the badge and card in his hand. “Congratulations.”

Mingyu walks out of the office in a daze. He was finally becoming a full-fledged vesper. It felt surreal. After years of dreaded school, Jeonghan simply dropped the badge in his hand. Just like that.

He’s walking through the hallways lost in these thoughts when Changkyun and Wonho bound up to him, knocking him out of his stupor.

“Mingyu we heard that you got called to see Jeonghan!”

“Yeah, what happened?” Changhyun asks him.

Mingyu doesn’t say anything. He just silently digs into his satchel and pulls out the badge.

“Oh my god,” Wonho says, positively breathless. “Is that the real thing?”

“Yep,” Mingyu says, feeling stunned himself.

Changkyun only stares at the badge, all parted lips and shining wide eyes. “Kim fucking Mingyu, you genius.”

He feels a rush of pride flowing through every fiber of his being as his classmates proceed to tackle him into a hug.

The next day he’s right where Jeonghan instructed him to be, and he’s early. He sits around sipping coffee as he watches other vespers walking in and out of the building, all in their badges, with their bags and briefcases.

Wow, he’s actually becoming a part of this now.

“Ah good, you’re here,” Jeonghan’s smooth voice greets him and Mingyu turns around to politely bow. “Alright, come with me,” he says as he leads Mingyu to the highest floor of the building.

“This here is the observatory,” Jeonghan narrates. “I suppose you’re familiar with it? You’ve visited here before?”

“Yes, multiple times on class trips.”

“And you know what we do up here?”

“Yes.”

“Good, good,” Jeonghan and him step out of the elevator and into the glass dome that sits on the expanse of the open roof. He leads Mingyu to the center of the dome where a small cylindrical station with a panel board sits, and punches some buttons into it.

A large hologram-like image expands out from the panel board and Mingyu sees both side profiles and portrait images of a (handsome) man who looks around his age.

“Mingyu, I’ll be assigning you Jeon Wonwoo’s case.” Jeonghan announces.

Mingyu peers at the information. “21 years old... no soulmate mark on his wrist?”

“Yep, it appears so. Oh and he never filed a report either! Took forever to detect this one.” Jeonghan claps cheerfully as if he were announcing that Christmas break was coming soon.

“N-never filed a report sir?”

“Yep. It’s a tough one, I admit,” Jeonghan pouts. “But I think you can handle it. After all, your status here depends on this.”

Mingyu nearly chokes. “Y-you mean—”

“Yes. You got early admission here, so you need to prove to us that you can handle any task if you want to keep that badge,” Jeonghan winks at him. “Just think of it as an incentive to work hard.”

Mingyu gulps. “Yes sir.”

“Now listen Mingyu, I know this man never reported the fact that he didn’t have a soulmate mark, unlike all other cases similar to his; but this is a system,” Jeonghan spins small circles with his index finger as he says this. “You understand?”

Mingyu nods slowly. “Um, yes?”

“All parts need to run smoothly,” Jeonghan continues. “We can’t have erm... peculiarities like this, no matter how small.”

“I understand sir.”

“Really now,” the elder huffs, only half jokingly, “You’re not even a student anymore. Please, call me Jeonghan.”

“Alright.”

“Good.” Jeonghan grins. He then hands Mingyu a briefcase. “All the stuff you need is here, including files on Jeon Wonwoo, a working credit card, etc. etc. Now shoo!” Jeonghan waves him off. “Go get ready and come back here as quickly as possible. You know what to do.”

Mingyu nods once more, bows, and heads back downstairs to get himself both mentally and physically ready for his big job; the job that would either make or break the start of career.

Wonwoo sits on a rickety bus having just finished his shift at work.

He’s staring at his skin. It’s been 3 years and his bony wrists are still pale and unmarked as ever.

He could always head over to the Soulmate Service Center where he could report the issue himself, but it never bothered him enough to do it. (Plus, he didn’t exactly like the agency that oversaw this soulmate business. Whatever Wonwoo would do, he definitely wouldn’t reach out to the likes of them.)

Less than a year ago, the simple thought of having to meet a total stranger who would want to get to know him, judge him, probably want to spend their life with him, would probably have given him anxiety.

Now slowly, through making more friends and expanding his tiny world little by little, Wonwoo can find himself staring at his blank wrists more often.

Ever since he escaped that hellhole called highschool and started college, his friend Soonyoung said he looked different— happier, more open and alive. It was new considering Wonwoo, as far as he’d ever known, had never quite felt like a well-functioning human being.

He’d spent most of his elementary school years friendless. It got worse when he headed off to middle school where he started avoiding social interactions more frequently. His classmates probably thought he was rude or stuck-up, and his teachers wrote him off as “strange”.

Then high school rolled around and Wonwoo was the most out-casted kid in his grade. Truth to be told, he was fine with that— anything to avoid that awful feeling of his stomach twisting and his mind going blank whenever he spoke to his classmates.

Kwon Soonyoung came in the most unexpected fashion into Wonwoo’s life during his senior year of high school. Wonwoo was strangely comforted by his presence unlike every other person he had met in school. He was Wonwoo’s first real friend, and eventually would become his best friend.

Slowly overtime, Wonwoo forced himself to be more social and became a little braver. He stopped hiding in his dorm all the time and went out more. Even though he’d still have better and worse days, he felt like he was somehow becoming more... normal.

So why? Why was his left wrist still blank? This part of him still wasn’t typical. Wonwoo was still an anomaly to the system. And in this case, he wasn’t sure if that was a good thing.

These thoughts follow Wonwoo outside as he steps off the crowded bus into the cool autumn night. He stands at the base of thirty or so steps and looks up at the massive disk shaped building. In middle of the disk, rests a rather magnificent concrete tiled dome. Huge banners hang at the front of the building that read “Journey to the Stars Planetarium – Now Open!”

Wonwoo bounds up the steps excitedly. He was waiting for this opening day. What he sees when he reaches the top though, makes his face fall. The doors of the planetarium are all closed off, and a young girl in an employee uniform stands at the entrance telling people that the building has reached its capacity.

Wonwoo’s shoulders slump in disappointment. He spent all this time to come out here to the outskirts of the city, for what? And now it was past nine, meaning the buses only came every 45 minutes or so, meaning it would take him more than two hours to get home. Wonwoo’s sighs deepen in all their misery. Great. Just his luck.

“Couldn’t make it in time?” a voice cuts into his thoughts.

Wonwoo’s head snaps up and he turns in the direction of the deep voice. There’s a figure of a man standing shrouded in the shadow a couple feet away from him. Wonwoo suddenly feels nervous, and gulps a little as he slowly nods.

The stranger takes a small step towards him to stand in the light of the lamppost so Wonwoo can make out his face now. He looks around Wonwoo’s age, and he can tell even from the distance that this guy has a good couple inches on him. A black blazer hugs his broad shoulders, and he gives a goofy sort of smile that somehow contradicts his attractive and well-defined features.

But what stands out most to Wonwoo is this stranger’s hair. He has an undercut that’s parted to the side and dyed a silver-blue. It somehow makes him look so different, and ethereal... almost as though he isn’t human.

Wonwoo clears his throat to speak, ignoring the coiling nerves in his stomach. “Turns out the place is full.” He’s definitely gotten better at talking to strangers, but maybe it’s the fact that this guy is so handsome that he feels thrown off guard.

“I see,” the guy tilts his head to the side like he’s in thought. “You looked like you really wanted to go in though.”

Wonwoo laughs nervously and fixes his glasses, suddenly feeling self-conscious at how ratty he must look in his worn out jeans, and old coat and scarf. He doesn’t know what encourages him to speak but he does. “It’s just disappointing because I came all the way here for nothing. And now it’ll take forever to get back home.”

“Wow that sucks,” the stranger puts bluntly, but he sounds genuine rather than disinterested.

Wonwoo chuckles softly and stares at the ground. “Yeah...”

“Then maybe... I can help you?”

Wonwoo’s head perks up at the sudden declaration. “What?”

“Uhm...” he grins a little sheepishly. “I can help you enter.”

Wonwoo supposes the look he’s giving this guy is a ‘what the hell are you going on about’ because he quickly tries to reassure him.

“Trust me, in a perfectly legal way.”

“Trust you? I just met you,” Wonwoo laughs, no longer too nervous, only amazed at the strange turn of this conversation.

“Fair enough,” he shrugs. “But I am being honest here. I wouldn’t offer something that would get us both into trouble.”

“Mhmm,” Wonwoo drawls out with sarcasm. “Can you prove that to me?”

“Well for one...” he fishes out a card from his pocket, dangling on what looks like a Planetarium employee’s lanyard.

“Ok, so did you murder an employee for that, or just steal it?” Wonwoo cocks his head to the side.

“Let’s just say I have connections.” the stranger now grins. “My name is Mingyu by the way,” he says coolly as he slips the lanyard around his neck.

“Nice to meet you,” he hesitates slightly. “I’m Wonwoo.”

The two shake hands before Mingyu gives him a lopsided smile and stalks over to the employee at the front of the entrance. He says a couple things, gesturing towards Wonwoo. Maybe it’s just the light playing tricks on him, but the employee has a strange glassy look in her eyes as the man talks to her and she nods along.

Mingyu quickly turns back around and motions for Wonwoo to come towards him. Rather than nerves, there’s a new feeling in him— something more like excitement, and above all, intrigue.

Wonwoo was always sure he detested people who felt mysterious. He hated how you could never see their intentions, or understand their feelings towards you. Yet here he is, trusting an attractive guy he just met, and who carries an oddly ominous presence around him.

The two walk in through the glass doors and Wonwoo can’t stop himself from looking over his shoulder at the employee outside who still seems stuck in a daze. What was that? He sneaks a small glance at Mingyu, only to find Mingyu’s unwavering brown eyes right on his, and he abruptly looks away.

Wonwoo momentarily forgets the absurdity of this entire situation, as he gets lost in the showcases of the planetarium. He doesn’t even question Mingyu’s presence with him the whole time. They just met, but he just goes along with it. Soonyoung would be proud of him if he saw this right now, Wonwoo can’t help but think with a smirk.

Or rather, he probably doesn’t mind Mingyu’s presence because the guy practically acts as a tour guide for him. Wonwoo always thought he had a lot of knowledge on astronomy. Well it turns out, it amounts to a speck of what Mingyu knows. By the time an hour passes, Wonwoo feels in awe by Mingyu.

“How do you know all this?”

Mingyu shrugs and grins, “I read books on astronomy a lot.”

Wonwoo scoffs. Well so does he, but it sounds like Mingyu majors in this rather than simply “reading books on astronomy for fun”. Speaking of which... is Mingyu in school? What is his major? Does he have a job? Wonwoo is about to open his mouth and ask all this, when he’s suddenly being tugged towards the entrance of the dome.

“The planetarium show is starting now,” Mingyu smiles and leads him into the dark dome, towards seats in the middle.

Soon enough, the simulations of the starry skies light up the entirety of massive dome. Thousands of pinpricks of artificial light burst and shower around them and Wonwoo goes breathless by it all. The stars and nebulas, the comets and misty galaxies; it all makes him feel small, like he’s just a speck of dust in the endlessly spinning universe— and honestly he doesn’t mind.

“What do you think?” Mingyu leans over and whispers.

“It’s great,” Wonwoo whispers back, and he’s so lost in the entirety of the scintillating stars that he doesn’t even question how he’s able to so casually respond to this stranger. At that, a stranger that’s been so absurdly kind and helpful to him for the past hour and a half. 

“If you looked up nerd in the dictionary, it’d say ‘Jeon Wonwoo’,” Mingyu chuckles once they’re out of the planetarium.

Wonwoo rolls his eyes. “Yeah, says the guy that probably reads hundreds of books on astronomy on a daily basis.”

“I don’t do that,” Mingyu responds coolly as he continues walking with a smile.

Wonwoo opens his mouth to retort, but suddenly he’s frozen still, a strange realization dawning upon him. The nerves are back in his chest, and he can now feel his hands going clammy.

Mingyu stops too, a couple feet in front of him and turns back around, looking confused. “What’s wrong?”

Wonwoo forces his mouth to move and meets Mingyu’s eyes. “How did you know?”

Mingyu raises his eyebrows. “Know what? That you’re nerdy?”

“No.”

Mingyu takes a step towards him, “Then what—” He cuts his sentence short when Wonwoo impulsively moves back.

Maybe he can see Wonwoo panicking so he tries to reproach him carefully.

“Look calm down. Just say what’s wrong.”

Wonwoo speaks carefully and slowly this time. “How did you know my family name was Jeon?

Mingyu’s eyes grow wide by just a fraction of a centimeter, and it’s like the world has gone silent for a split second before things start moving again. Mingyu’s eyes crinkle up and suddenly he’s doubling over with laughter. “Right, you didn’t tell me that. Jesus I suck at this.”

“What?” He’s thoroughly confused now.

“Alright, alright you caught me,” Mingyu straightens up with a grin and lifts his hands a little as though he’s about to be arrested. “I’m going stop acting like a mysterious stranger who granted you entry to the planetarium now.”

Wonwoo can only stare.

“I, Kim Mingyu,” he declares, “was sent from the stars to help you find your soulmate.”

Wonwoo is now speechless. Was this dude crazy?

Pity. What a waste of a nice face.

“Well sort of the stars,” Mingyu rambles. “I guess you can call it that. It’s more like the outer galactic—”

“Ok thanks for the entry to the planetarium,” Wonwoo cuts him off. “Have fun with that. Bye Mingyu.”

And with that he sharply turns away and tries to walk off as fast as possible.

“H-hey, no wait!” Mingyu jogs to catch up with him. “Look I’m sorry, I should have just told you upfront.”

“Told me what upfront? That’s you’re nuts?”

“No! I’m being serious! I really was sent here to help you find your soulmate! Please ju–”

“Yeah, no,” Wonwoo continues briskly walking towards the bus. That is until he feels a warm grip around his left wrist, and he’s spun back around to face Mingyu.

Wonwoo grits his teeth. “Let go.”

“Look, I know you don’t have a name on your wrist!” Mingyu blurts out. He moves Wonwoo’s arm up, letting his jacket slip down to reveal his blank wrist.

Wonwoo goes silent for a few seconds before responding, “You could’ve just glanced at my arms at the planetarium.”

“I didn’t!” Mingyu cries out defensively, letting go of Wonwoo’s arm. “Look, I'm sure you've heard of it, it's called the Celestial Agency. That’s where I’m from!”

Wonwoo eyes grow wide. The Celestial agency? “B-but I never went to the Soulmate Service Center to report any issue.”

“Yes, and that’s why you’re so overdue! You’re what, 21 now? Christ, it’s been 3 years,” Mingyu sighs.

“So you’re telling me, the agency can just spy on people regardless of whether they file a case or not?”

“Yes!” Mingyu blurts out. Two seconds later, he looks regretful at what he just said.

Wonwoo narrows his eyes. “Then all the more reason not to trust you!”

The bus pulls up to the stop now and he immediately boards it, swiping his bus pass. To his dismay, Mingyu climbs on behind him, dropping some coins into the dispenser and settles down right next to him.

“Can you not sit beside me?”

“I’m sorry to inform you, but you’re kind of stuck with me for now.”

Wonwoo scoffs. “As if.”

“Please hyung,” Mingyu pleads, “This is my job! My livelihood.”

“Hyung? Hyung?”

“You’re one year older than me.”

“Ok yeah, no need to get all buddy buddy with me now,” Wonwoo rolls his eyes. He realizes he’s being a bit of a jerk right now, but the fact that Mingyu is from Celestial Agency leaves an indescribable sour taste in his mouth that he can’t mask with kind words.

Mingyu just pouts and slumps his body against the seat in front of him in defeat.

A couple minutes pass in silence, with nothing but the hum of the bus. There’s one old man sleeping at the front, but otherwise the bus is empty except for the two of them.

Mingyu finally breaks the silence. “Seriously hyung, don’t you want to find your soulmate?” He tilts his head towards Wonwoo with a pout on his lips and he’s doing his best to form puppy dog eyes. Wonwoo feels the urge to smack his face.

“I don’t have one.”

“Everyone has one.”

“Well I don’t. My wrist is blank,” he says with no emotion.

“No, that happens sometimes,” Mingyu tries to reassure him. “It’s overall rare, but there are hundreds of cases like yours each year. But you see, the name of your soulmate doesn’t have to appear on your wrist!”

“Ok Mingyu, then where will it appear?” Wonwoo asks, voice completely flat. “On my dick?”

Mingyu stares at him silently for a second. His face contorts slightly, and then he’s bursting out peals of muffled laughter. “Oh my god, I hope not,” he wheezes.

Wonwoo remains expressionless, but something tightens in his chest. Mingyu’s laughter is somehow really...

Discomforting.

He doesn’t like it whatsoever.

It’s bright, unapologetic, and reveals his whole set of slightly crooked but cute pointed teeth. (Did Wonwoo just describe teeth as cute?). Regardless, it really does make Wonwoo uncomfortable, and he isn’t even sure why.

When Mingyu regains his composure again, he smiles at Wonwoo. “What I’m trying to say— and I’m sure you understood it already, but you’re just being stubborn— is that you have a soulmate out there somewhere. They’re just not written on your wrist. But that’s ok, because I’ll help you find them.”

The bus comes to a halt, and Wonwoo gets up silently, slinging his bag over his shoulder. Mingyu once again steps out of the bus with him. The night is way too cold and dark, and Wonwoo is eternally thankful that his apartment is only a few blocks from the stop.

“You never answered me,” Mingyu whines, trailing behind him like some lost puppy.

“Answered what?”

They enter the apartment building and Wonwoo turns the corner towards the stairs.

“Do you not want to find your soulmate?”

“They can find me, if they really want to.”

“See it hardly ever works like that! Meeting your soulmate is actually a mechanism of fate. But the Celestial Agency has observed in our research that the fate of meeting your soulmate tends to not work very well with those who have missing names. It's like a glitch or error in the system. So that's where people like me have to step in. So you need my help! Do you not want to find your soulmate?”

When Wonwoo doesn’t respond, Mingyu repeats his question.

“Come on, answer me! Do you really not want to find your soulmate?”

Wonwoo is immediately about to spit out ‘I don’t’, when he realizes, he’s not so sure anymore. Up until now, he really didn’t care. In fact, he’d rather not have a soulmate. But things were different now. He was finally becoming a better version of himself compared to the past... so even as a twenty-one year old who has never dated someone in his life, maybe it wasn’t too late to try.

They’re on the seventh floor now, and the two are standing in front of Wonwoo’s apartment.

He decides to answer Mingyu’s question honestly.

“I really don’t know if I want to find my soulmate.”

Mingyu’s mouth droops a little.

“But lately...” Wonwoo hesitates, “I’ve been thinking about it more.”

At once Mingyu’s eyes are alight and he’s practically jumping up and down, shaking Wonwoo.

“That’s great!”

“Ok calm down,” Wonwoo sighs. “Just because I said I’m thinking about it, doesn’t mean I want help from you.”

Mingyu starts deflating again (jesus, this boy’s emotions changed more often than Wonwoo changed his clothes).

“But hyung, please, my job really rests on this and—”

“Mingyu, I’m sorry about your job, but go find someone else for it, alright?”

Mingyu looks close to tears at this point, and Wonwoo looks away.

“B-but how are you going to find your soulmate without their name, or my help?”

“That’s for me to figure out.”

“It’ll be impossible,” Mingyu whispers.

“I don’t care,” Wonwoo snaps back a little too harshly, which makes Mingyu wince. He immediately feels terrible for it. In fact he feels terrible for all of this, and especially for the kicked puppy look on Mingyu’s face, but he can’t stop.

“Look,” Wonwoo’s voice softens as he takes out his apartment keys. “It’s really nice of you to try and help me, and you seem like a good guy and all, but I’d rather not get mixed up with your agency. That’s the bottom line. Sorry Mingyu. Goodbye.”

Wonwoo steps inside his apartment, gently waving, and closes the door on Mingyu’s crest-fallen face.

He can only hear a soft whimper before the door fully shuts, “But what problem do you have with Celestial Agency?”

Wonwoo lets out a world-weary sigh and leans his forehead against the closed door. He really can’t do this right now. He’s tired.

He sits on his couch and waits for a good 10 minutes. Then he silently moves towards door and looks through the peephole. Sure enough, Mingyu has taken residence of the little square feet of carpet outside of Wonwoo’s door.

“Fine,” Wonwoo huffs to himself in frustration. “Let him sleep there, see if I care.”

But it turns out, leaving Mingyu in that state doesn’t allow Wonwoo to function. He can’t sleep. He just lies on his bed staring at the ceiling, mulling over everything, and above all feeling guilty.

Now Wonwoo doesn’t know where Celestial Agency’s base is or anything, but what if Mingyu can’t just go back for the night and has nowhere to stay? Does he have money? Food? Well ok, he did (somehow) get the two of them into the planetarium, and paid for his bus fare, so maybe he is capable of getting a place for himself. But at the same time, it doesn’t look like he’s leaving from Wonwoo’s apartment...

Wonwoo fumes over all this. This situation just pisses him off. Since when was it his responsibility to suddenly act as a tenant and just welcome an annoying guy into his life? Did he ever agree to this?!

He’s now pacing up and down his bedroom, until he simply can’t take it anymore. He wants to scream a little. He drags himself to his apartment door and swings it open.

Yes, Kim Mingyu is still bloody there, all slouched over against the wall, his giant limbs curled up in himself. He’s completely napped out.

Wonwoo mutters curses under his breath. One night. He’s doing this only for one night, and then adios Mingyu.

He leans down and claps loudly against Mingyu’s ear. Nothing.

“Hey idiot, get up,” he whispers harshly. Mingyu doesn’t even stir. “HEY IDIOT GET UP!” he yells this time, silently apologizing to all the people on his floor (and praying he won’t get a complaint).

He starts jabbing Mingyu’s ears and cheeks next, and even that doesn’t work. How can someone fall into this deep of a sleep so quickly?

“Fucking hell,” Wonwoo groans.

He just gives up and physically drags Mingyu into his apartment. He does his best to lift the giant onto his futon in the living room, allowing Mingyu’s arms to hook around his neck as he shoves him onto the bed, all the while cursing at how heavy he is.

When all of Mingyu’s limbs are finally on the futon, Wonwoo tries unhooking himself the grasp of his arms. But of course, thanks to his damned luck, Mingyu doesn’t let go. Nope. He has an iron grip around Wonwoo’s shoulder.

“Oh my fucking god, kill me,” Wonwoo mutters.

No matter how much he tries to escape and even wiggle under and out from Mingyu arms (because he’s skinny as hell), he has no luck. In fact Mingyu’s hold only grows tighter, as if he thinks Wonwoo is some stuffed animal he clutches onto when he sleeps at night (he probably does have a stuffy he sleeps with, knowing this guy). He pulls Wonwoo further towards him, fully onto the bed and Wonwoo can’t even fight back.

“Mingyu I swear to god, if you’re awake, I will actually fucking kill you.” Wonwoo sighs in defeat against Mingyu’s chest.

He can’t really comprehend this situation. How can someone fall asleep like this in a matter of what, half and hour? And even after violently dragging Mingyu into the apartment, he still didn’t wake up in the slightest. Wonwoo wonders if this is some medical condition. Or maybe, as Mingyu had said, he’s from the “stars”, meaning he isn’t human. So simply put, his sleeping habits work like this.

Wonwoo’s heart pounds a little harder. How lovely, he’s in bed with a stranger slash alien. And more importantly, he’s become a prisoner in his own apartment.

Mingyu nuzzles into his hair and his hold around him loosens. This time, Wonwoo doesn’t even bother trying to escape. He knows it’ll only result in Mingyu’s uncomfortably tight grip returning.

“Ok Wonwoo, sleep. Try to sleep,” he mutters to himself.

Wonwoo isn’t sure if he’s troubled or relieved by the fact that he immediately feels his eyes drooping. The warmth of Mingyu’s arms, and body in general, seeps through his shirt, and it’s actually (horrifyingly) comfortable.

His final thought before he slips into a slumber is that Mingyu smells like candles and old books, and it somehow manages to calm Wonwoo’s nerves.

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Chapter Text

The last thing Mingyu expects to see when he wakes up are the delicate slopes of Jeon Wonwoo’s face. But that’s what he sees.

Still half asleep, he lazily blinks and observes how Wonwoo’s sharp, squared jaw looks softer in the sunlight that drapes him like a blanket. He can’t help but notice the way his short eyelashes delicately frame his eyelids. Mingyu’s eyes trail down to Wonwoo’s pink lips. When they aren’t stretched out into a frown or a stiff smirk, they look way more full and so... kissable?

Wait no, what is he—

Mingyu’s eyes abruptly widen, and he snaps upright on the bed.

He’s fully awake now, and it’s finally hitting him that he’s in a strange situation, and a strange place. He recalls the events from yesterday. The last thing he remembers was feeling sleepy as he sat outside of Wonwoo’s apartment. He looks back down at the man who’s in the same bed with him.

Well, how did this happen?

Mingyu looks around and observes that they must be in Wonwoo’s apartment. He gets up as quietly as possible and takes a brief glance around the place.

The apartment is small but quaint. It looks good for one person, or at maximum two. The entrance door opens up right to the living room, where they’d slept. At the opposite end of the room from the entrance, there’s a sliding glass door leading to what looks like a balcony. To the right of the entrance there’s a tiny kitchen, and alongside it, a narrow dining table. Moving past the living room to the left, leads down a narrow hallway straight to a tiny bathroom and... Mingyu quickly peeks through the crack of the door, into what must be Wonwoo’s bedroom.

He checks the clock in the living room. It’s 9:00am and Wonwoo is still snoozing away.

He wants to change out of his sweaty shirt, but he left his luggage in his hotel. Still, he slips into the bathroom and washes his face.

As he’s attempting to comb his hair with his hands, he starts feeling absolutely terrible about last night. He hadn’t meant to sleep in front of Wonwoo’s apartment, but all that travel got him tired. And Mingyu knows that when he falls asleep, vespers are insanely deep sleepers.

Wonwoo must’ve literally dragged him inside after he fell asleep (judging by how he has faint red scrape marks on the side of his waist). And he figures them sleeping in the same bed was probably his own doing.

He slaps his palm against his forehead. Stupid Mingyu. Stupid.

Now Wonwoo is really going to hate him. Great.

Mingyu inwardly groans. It was his first time on the job, and things were going far from well. He begins to recall all of Jeonghan’s instructions and words to him when he was assigned the position, and wonders what in the galaxies could help him now.

For the next ten minutes Mingyu debates on whether he should take a shower or not. He knew he had already pushed the boundaries last night, but he was already here now, would it truly make a difference if he just took a quick shower? More importantly, was Jeon Wonwoo capable of manslaughter?

Mingyu weighs his choices, but in the end he feels too filthy and just decides to fuck it and steps in the shower. He grabs one of the unused towels from the closet in the hallway (thank god Wonwoo has more than one).

Mingyu walks out of the shower feeling slightly cleaner, even if he’s still wearing the same shirt from yesterday. He’s ruffling his wet hair with the towel he borrowed as he steps out of the bathroom, when he hears some movement. He thinks, (with dread), that Wonwoo is awake. Instead, when he looks up he’s met face to face with a blonde haired man whose jaw hangs wide open, rather comically, staring at him.

The two stand there frozen, looking at each other. That is until Wonwoo suddenly stirs from his slumber and groggily gets up with a stretch. His hair is sticking up all over the place, and he lets out a wide (adorable) yawn. Mingyu thinks the yawn rivals a baby cub, and wonders how he could even consider Jeon Wonwoo being capable of murder.

Wonwoo rubs his eyes, and slowly his vision lands on the two men in his apartment who are both frozen in their spots.

The blonde haired man is the one to break the silence first. He let’s out a low impressed whistle. “Wow Wonwoo I didn’t know you were the type to do one night stands.”

Mingyu nearly chokes, and Wonwoo just stares at the man.

“Soonyoung, what the actual fuck?”

“What, am I wrong?”

“Mingyu is not a one night stand,” Wonwoo snaps back to the man, whose name must be Soonyoung.

“Ohhh I see... that’s even better then,” Soonyoung shrugs with a sly smile. “I mean, he seems like a really good catch if you ask me.” Soonyoung glances over at him with a miniature wink, and Mingyu almost shudders.

“Holy shit no, it’s not like that!” Wonwoo scowls. “And who let you in?”

“The door was open,” Soonyoung cheerfully answers as he dodges the pillow being thrown at his face.

Wonwoo gives him a withering glare. He shoots Mingyu, who’s been totally silent up until now, the same look.

“Hey lighten up,” Soonyoung grins, and it makes his cheeks bunch up and his eyes turn into cute little lines. “You can tell me later, I’ll make us breakfast.”

Soonyoung glances over at him now. “Mingyu was it? You want food too?”

Mingyu’s stomach growls right on cue as if it had heard this talk of food. “Yes please,” he meekly smiles.

“Don’t burn anything,” Wonwoo calls out, voice still slightly raspy from having just woken up.

“Hey, I’m nowhere as bad as you in the kitchen ok?” Soonyoung retorts.

When Soonyoung is gone, Wonwoo sits silently on the futon for a good minute and Mingyu just awkwardly stands there.

He eventually goes over to sit on the wooden armrests of the futon and clears his throat. “Err, I borrowed a spare towel from your closet to shower, if that’s ok.”

Wonwoo shrugs and lets out a miniscule yawn. “Yeah it’s fine.”

Mingyu’s tense shoulders sink slightly in relief. “Thanks.”

Wonwoo gives him a strange look before glancing away. “No problem.”

Mingyu opens his mouth in an attempt to explain himself about last night, but he doesn’t get to because Wonwoo starts talking again.

“You just met my friend Soonyoung by the way. He comes over sometimes on weekends. Not usually this early though.”

“I see...” Mingyu’s thoughts get tangled up and twisted in his mind, and he can no longer remember what exactly he wanted to say to Wonwoo. The two sit in awkward silence until Soonyoung calls them over to tell them food is ready.

It turns out that him and Soonyoung get along incredibly well. They just met, but Mingyu feels like they’re long lost best friends or something. They manage to ramble on about practically everything and nothing, all at once. It’s absolutely wonderful. Soonyoung lays off of personal questions, and Mingyu knows enough about earth to go on for hours about their movies, video games, music, you name it.

They’re on the topic about whether the plan for a live action of Kimi no Nawa is going to be any good, when Wonwoo gets up with a slight huff. Soonyoung doesn’t seem to notice, but Mingyu glances over cautiously. He wonders if he’s being intrusive with his presence. Wonwoo doesn’t seem to be particularly enjoying himself, and had remained silent through this whole conversation.

Mingyu doesn’t legitimately want to leave once breakfast is over; anything to stay longer and try to convince Wonwoo and save his job. Unfortunately, Soonyoung’s presence doesn’t exactly allow him to do that, so he just gets up with a sigh.

“Alright, I’ve honestly overstayed my visit. I should probably leave now.”

“Awe,” Soonyoung pouts cutely. “You can’t stay longer? We don’t mind.”

Mingyu glances over at Wonwoo with a raised eyebrow, who just looks away. Soonyoung was a sweet guy but he seemed genuinely thick.

“Nah, it’s ok. I um... have a lot to do.”

“I see.”

“Yeah... I’ll um see you around maybe,” Mingyu’s eyes move past Soonyoung and settle on Wonwoo who is finally looking at him in the eye. Mingyu doesn’t understand the look he’s wearing, and it bothers him. It’s something more tangible than the flat, emotionless face he had seen so far on Wonwoo. There’s something flickering in his eyes and he can’t quite place a finger on it.

“Bye Wonwoo.”

“Bye,” Wonwoo curtly responds and turns back around.

There’s a strand of curiosity in Soonyoung’s eyes when he looks between the two of them. “Hey, you want my number?”

Mingyu’s eyes quickly flick back to Wonwoo who makes no sign or movement that he heard Soonyoung. “Y-yeah, sure. We should really hang out sometimes.”

Soonyoung laughs, “I think so too.”

Mingyu punches in Soonyoung’s contact information, not mentioning to him that this is his first contact.

“Why’d you ask?”

Soonyoung looks up at him. It’s been an hour or so since Mingyu left and he’s curled up on one corner of his sofa with a book, while Soonyoung sprawls over the rest, munching on some cheetos as he watches a drama.

“Ask what?”

“For his number.”

Soonyoung chuckles, “Does it bother you? I mean you’re the o–“

“No it really doesn’t.” Wonwoo cuts him off. “But you might give him the wrong idea you know? You don’t even swing that way.” (Then Wonwoo realizes he doesn’t know if Mingyu does either.)

“Nah, it was only in a ‘let’s be friends’ kind of way.”

“I’m just saying,” Wonwoo shrugs.

“Oh trust me,” Soonyoung laughs, “I don’t think he has any interest either; not when he couldn’t stop looking over at a certain someone else.”

“I told you,” Wonwoo puts his book down and looks up at the ceiling with a groan. “It’s not like that.”

“Then what is it? Tell me.”

Wonwoo can’t try to worm his way out of this conversation— not when Soonyoung’s playful grin is gone, and he’s suddenly looking at Wonwoo with completely serious eyes, and words full of command.

He sighs, and then starts telling Soonyoung everything. Starting from the Planetarium, to now.

“Holy shit Wonwoo.”

“Yeah I know, he’s such a pest.”

Soonyoung looks at him like he’s crazy. “Bro look, I know I’ve been telling you for like over a year now to go to the Soulmate Service center, and you’ve been so reluctant... but this guy just shows up right at your doorstep offering his help; how can you not even consider it?”

Wonwoo presses his lips into a thin line. “I did consider it. I don’t want to.”

“Did you though?”

He hesitates now. Maybe he had been too quick to turn down the offer.... but Wonwoo is seriously thinking now, and he still wants nothing to do with Mingyu and the goddamn Celestial Agency.

“Look Soonyoung, you know how I feel about... them.”

Soonyoung sighs. “Yeah, I know. But Mingyu doesn’t seem like that.”

“You literally met him for an hour!”

“I can tell if people have bad intentions ok? And if you ask me, Mingyu is as good on the inside, as he seems on the outside,” Soonyoung pops another cheeto in his mouth. “Why else do you think I got his number?”

Wonwoo raises his eyebrows questioningly.

“I thought he was a good guy— so I got his number to set him up with you,” Soonyoung laughs. “You were so awkward around him, I knew you wouldn't get it yourself.”

“See how wrong you were now?” Wonwoo grumbles.

“But I actually wasn’t.” His friend’s eyes sparkle happily. “Now we have his number, so if you change your mind about the whole soulmate thing, we can just dial him up.”

“Yeah, that’s not happening.”

“You never know Wonwoo...” Soonyoung hesitates slightly before adding, “I see you glancing at my mark more often these days.”

Wonwoo shrugs. “I’m just curious what kind of name mine would be. Or you know, how it feels to have one.”

“Anxious.”

“What?”

“You feel anxious all the time. When names are called for attendance, or when a new co-worker or student arrives in your classes, you always find your eyes wandering to other student id’s or licenses, wondering if they’re the one.”

“Doesn’t sound appealing,” Wonwoo scrunches his nose.

“Better than having no name if you ask me,” Soonyoung frowns. He reaches over and gently turns Wonwoo’s left hand to reveal his blank wrist.

“Ok look at it from my perspective,” Wonwoo flatly recites, “No name means zero burdens. You’ll have no burden. And you’ll never burden another person as well.”

Soonyoung narrows his eyes. “We’ve been over this. You’re not a burden ok? And neither is love.”

“It can be.”

“Do you fully believe that, or are you just trying to convince yourself that you’re better off without a soulmate mark?”

Wonwoo looks down to his lap and doesn’t answer.

Soonyoung gently rubs his wrist with his thumbs and sighs. “I don’t know, maybe I’m just trying to get you to see Mingyu because I want you to be happy.”

Wonwoo looks up surprised. “I am happy though. I have you, and my other friends so...”

“That kind of happiness can’t be the same as finding your soulmate though,” Soonyoung whispers.

Wonwoo wants to retort that all happiness is the same. Instead he only shrugs and lets the conversation dissolve away into nothing.

Days turn into weeks, and Wonwoo doesn’t see Mingyu again. Maybe he really gave up with him. Wonwoo expects himself to be relieved, but he just gets a strange feeling at the pit of his stomach. It’s almost like he regrets shoving Mingyu away so fast.

It must be guilt.

Wonwoo is guilty that he may have jeopardized Mingyu’s job. He mulls over these thoughts when he’s attending his exhaustingly long english lectures, when he’s finishing up essays late at night, when he’s shelving the latest haul of novels at the bookstore he works at, when he’s being dragged as a plus one to some party Soonyoung was invited to— and essentially everywhere in between.

Beyond just the guilt, it’s not ‘Mingyu helping find his soulmate’ the part that’s spinning in constant loops in Wonwoo’s mind, but Mingyu himself.

Wonwoo met him once, and then he just disappeared. Despite the easy smiles and approachable personality, Mingyu was truly an enigma. He was the sort of mystery Wonwoo couldn’t keep out of his mind.

But somewhere inside him, Wonwoo knows that Mingyu and him will cross paths once again. He simply knows. The only question is when.

Wonwoo expects them to see one another when Mingyu comes back to try and convince him to save his job. Or maybe they’d randomly run into each other around campus. There were many typical possibilities.

But of course, things always happen in the most unexpected fashion for Jeon Wonwoo.

***

Soonyoung and Mingyu have been texting for a few weeks since they met one another.

Their texts mainly consist of exchanging memes, and Mingyu has to admit that it pretty much brightens his days.

He wonders if Wonwoo told Soonyoung about why Mingyu is really here. The two seemed so close, so he wouldn’t be surprised if Wonwoo shared this information with him. Of course, Mingyu never asks these things, and Soonyoung never brings up anything related to it either.

That is until they decide to meet up one day at a café, and Soonyoung just casually drops it in their conversation that he knows everything.

“He told you?” Mingyu peers at him cautiously.

“Yeah,” Soonyoung sips on his hot chocolate, inhaling sharply and reeling back from the paper cup as he burns his tongue. Mingyu offers him water, which he gladly takes. “Anyway, as I was saying,” he smoothly continues, “I know Wonwoo is reluctant with this whole soulmate thing but he’ll come around. Just be patient.”

Mingyu nods along, feeling relieved at Soonyoung’s words.

“In fact,” he proceeds, “try to give him another visit and convince him.”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea...”

“You’ve stayed away long enough,” Soonyoung shrugs. “Trust me. As long as you’re not barraging him constantly with the request, you’re good.”

“O-ok, I’ll try.”

Soonyoung looks him with his head tilted in curiosity. “You know, for this being your job, you’re not all too confident in yourself.”

Mingyu chuckles, not even feeling offended by the blunt statement, because it was true.

“This is my first time on the job,” Mingyu sighs.

“Hmm, I see,” Soonyoung says as he continues blowing on his hot chocolate.

“Wonwoo actually told me he might want to find his soulmate? But he doesn’t want my help? I don’t understand,” Mingyu sighs, hanging his head in frustration.

“Mhm, yeah I know that.”

“You want to explain why?”

“That’s for him to tell you. Not me,” he casually shrugs.

“Oh, ok.”

They continue talking after that, drifting away from their initial conversation. Mingyu learns how Soonyoung doesn’t go to the same university as Wonwoo, but goes to a performing arts one. He’s aiming to be a professional dancer and apparently he has a flight to Japan in a couple days for a dance competition.

He wishes Soonyoung good luck before the two go their separate ways from the café.

It’s Friday evening and Mingyu is at the park sketching the autumn scene around him, which consists of leaves gently falling and blowing everywhere, and people in their long coats and scarfs. He’s wishing he could add all the splashes of colours, going from brilliant red and orange hues of the trees, to the dark green of the grass, when his phone rings unexpectedly.

Mingyu peers at the caller ID before picking up. It’s Soonyoung?

“Hello, Soonyoung?”

“Hey man, sorry for calling you out of the blue.”

“No it’s ok,” Mingyu chuckles. “What’s up?”

“Ok, so I kind of need a big favour from you.”

Mingyu immediately catches the edge and worry in Soonyoung’s voice, and it throws him off because he’s only ever heard the man through his super cheerful happy voice filter.

“Alright...” he speaks slowly, “What is it?”

“It’s Wonwoo.” There’s a short pause until Soonyoung speaks again. “He’s really sick— like super fucking sick. I don’t quite know what caused it.”

“Oh damn.”

“Yeah, he didn’t even tell me, that fucker.”

He can hear a worried wobble in Soonyoung’s voice.

“I only found out because I went to see him before going to catch my flight for the dance competition. He looked fucking bad, so like, could you go check up on him? Please? Like make sure he doesn’t die and just—”

“Ok su—”

“I know this doesn’t exactly fit into your job description, and it’s kind of weird, but I don’t really know Wonwoo’s other friends besides one guy, and he’s out of town this week as well so—”

Soonyoung voice has worked itself into a flurry and Mingyu quickly cuts him off.

“Soonyoung. I said yes, I’ll check on him.”

“What? Oh. Ok.”

“Yeah. Anything else you need to tell me?”

“Um, just take him to the hospital if things get too bad. I left my car keys with Won... wait shit, can you even drive?”

“Well...” Mingyu stifles a laugh. “I don’t want to get into the details, but I have other ways to get around.”

“What?”

“Look, it’s not relevant. Don’t worry, I can take him to the hospital if it’s necessary,” Mingyu tries to reassure him. “Get on your flight and relax.”

He can hear Soonyoung physically deflate in relief.

“Thank you so much man.”

“No problem,” Mingyu smiles. “Wonwoo is lucky to have a friend like you.”

Soonyoung scoffs at the other end. “Damn right he is. The guy just doesn’t know how to take care of himself. Anyway, thanks again, I gotta run now.”

“Yeah see you. Have a safe flight, and good luck with your competition.”

“Thanks Mingyu.”

Mingyu hangs up and then packs up his sketchbook and pencils, dropping them into his satchel. He quickly searches up directions to get to Wonwoo’s place.

It turns out the apartment isn’t far at all— only 15 kilometers away, which Mingyu could handle. He begins walking toward his destination as store signs start lighting up, and the streets have a warm buzzing feeling that every nice Friday evening in fall should.

Mingyu quietly slips into an alleyway as he’s walking and scans around to make sure no one can see him. Once the cost is clear, he mutters a couple incantations and squeezes his eyes shut, envisioning the inside of Wonwoo’s apartment.

He feels the familiar sensation of his stomach and other organs being squeezed tightly as his ears pop, and suddenly the cold stone alleyway is gone and Mingyu is standing in the entryway of Wonwoo’s dark but warm apartment.

He quietly slips off his shoes. He realizes he’s being intrusive, but if Wonwoo was sleeping he didn’t want to make him come and open the door. Besides, Mingyu could just lie and say the door was open when questioned.

He steps toward the thin strip of light coming from the crack of the door of Wonwoo’s bedroom. If the lights are on, he must be awake, Mingyu surmises.

“Wonwoo?” he calls out, knocking softly.

“Who’s there?” Wonwoo's voice sounds so scratchy and paper-thin.

“It’s Mingyu... uh you left the door open, and I didn’t want to wake you up if you were asleep.”

“Mingyu?”

“Yeah, remember me?” he half jokes (and half wonders if Wonwoo actually forgot).

“You can come in you know?”

Mingyu opens the door to reveal a soft beige interior. Wonwoo is curled up in his bed, his face totally covered by a thick layer of blankets.

“Hey,” Mingyu says as he enters.

Wonwoo slowly rises, and the bundle of blankets still remain wrapped around him, making him look like a giant fluffy lump. His eyes are bleary, and his nose and cheeks are completely flushed.

“Oh jeez, you look terrible.”

“Yeah, thanks for telling me,” Wonwoo's voice comes out so weak, it reminds him of something like a wilting flower.

Mingyu pauses for a moment before he strides over to Wonwoo’s bed in large steps.

“Ok, first of all you shouldn’t be wrapping yourself in all these,” he frowns as he starts pulling the blankets off of Wonwoo. “You look like you have a full blown fever. Jesus, you’re supposed to be lowering your body temperature, not increasing it.”

“It’s so cold though,” Wonwoo shudders, tugging the sleeves of his purple pajamas.

Mingyu looks at him worriedly. “Well that’s good, that means your body is trying to fight the fever.”

He leans down and rests his palm against Wonwoo’s forehead.

“Oh god you’re burning up. Soonyoung was right to be worried.” Mingyu mutters to himself.

“Soonyoung told you? ...Y-you’ve been talking to him?” Wonwoo asks in a daze once he’s been stripped of all his blankets except for one. He sits upright and attempts to look at Mingyu, though his eyes look unfocused and his face droops a little.

“Yeah... I have.”

“Oh.”

“He asked me to come and check up on you,” Mingyu continues. “You seriously worried him you know that? Why didn’t you tell him about this earlier?”

“He was leaving anyway,” Wonwoo mumbles. “I wasn’t going to purposefully worry him right before the day of his trip. Didn’t think he would come over to see me before his flight.”

Mingyu can only sigh. “Ok, well where’s your thermometer?”

“Right there, beside my bed.”

Mingyu glances over and grabs it, and lets Wonwoo take his temperature.

The reading on the thermometer makes his eyes widen. “Crap, you’re really burning up.”

“Yeah,” Wonwoo mumbles, sounding increasingly incomprehensible. He makes grabby motions with his hands until he’s holding onto the front of Mingyu’s sweater. “You’re kind of spinning.”

“Ok, ok, rest your head down,” Mingyu gently helps him lay down on the bed. “I’ll be right back alright?”

“Mhmm, kay.”

Mingyu quickly exits and takes all the smaller towels he can find around the apartment. He grabs a bucket as well and fills it with cold water from the tap.

When he comes back with the stuff and puts them beside the bed, he speaks gently to Wonwoo.

“Alright, I’m just gonna place some cool towels on you ok? It will help lower your body temperature.”

“Ok.”

Mingyu’s hands tremble partially when he hears Wonwoo’s breaths growing quicker and shallower. He carefully dips the towels in the water and wrings them before placing them over Wonwoo’s wrists, and ankles.

“It’s ok,” Mingyu mutters to himself, and then louder again, “It’ll be ok. Did you take Tylenol or Ibuprofen or something?”

“Yeah. Just before you came...I don’t think it’s helping...”

“They take time to kick in,” Mingyu assures him as he neatly folds the last towel and places it over Wonwoo’s forehead.

Wonwoo closes his eyes and seems to sigh in relief from the touch of the cool towels.

For the next half and hour or so, he sits at the edge of the bed keeping an eye on Wonwoo and from time to time re-cooling the towels. His tense shoulders relax after noticing the rise and fall of Wonwoo’s breathing gradually steadying from before.

Mingyu begins to think about the information given to him about Wonwoo by the agency, down to his medical reports. Then he thinks back to their first meeting, and how he immediately got the impression that Wonwoo was a very closed off person. But now, seeing him like this, it was like that closed off exterior was being stripped away, leaving only a vulnerable and weak core in its place.

His eyes trail down to Wonwoo’s small hands that have somehow managed to clutch onto the sleeve of his sweater. Mingyu doesn’t know why, but he feels his heart squeeze at the sight, and suddenly he’s leaning over and gently brushing his thumb over Wonwoo’s cheek.

Wonwoo’s eyes flutter open slightly, and Mingyu immediately moves his hand back like he had been burned.

What was he doing?

He unfurls Wonwoo’s hands from his sweater, and grabs the thermometer.

“Here, time to take your temperature again.” Mingyu announces once Wonwoo looks more awake, and tries to place the thermometer in Wonwoo’s hands to which he just sleepily lets it tumble onto his lap.

“Wonwoo come on.”

He mumbles something about being sleepy and Mingyu sighs. The drugs must be really kicking in now.

“Ok then, I’ll take it for you, alright?”

He doesn’t know if Wonwoo is listening to him when he only gets a garble of mumbles in response.

Regardless, he tugs on Wonwoo’s pajama collars and slips his hand underneath the fabric of his shirt and he can feel Wonwoo shudder against him. Once Mingyu is sure the thermometer is snug underneath Wonwoo’s arms, he pulls his hands back and waits for the beeping to sound.

The reading on the device is considerably lower now, though there is still a fever, which makes Mingyu exhale in relief.

He puts the device away and starts removing the damp towels from Wonwoo’s skin.

“Oh shoot,” he frowns. “Parts of your bed sheets are kind of wet now,”

“Hmm?”

“The towels got them damp.”

“It’s fine,” Wonwoo quietly responds.

“No, can’t have you catching anything else...” Mingyu trails off in thought. He wants to change the sheets but Wonwoo looks like he’s ready to fall asleep. “Ok, how about you sleep on your futon tonight?”

“Don’t wanna.”

“Hey come on, get up,” Mingyu coaxes him until he has a grumbling Wonwoo sitting upright.

“Alright, just to the living room now, let’s go,” he takes Wonwoo’s wrists and tries to tug him up, but Wonwoo just looks so damn sleepy and tired that Mingyu suddenly stops.

He looks down at his arm and he can’t stop himself noticing how tiny Wonwoo’s wrist is in his hand. He really doesn’t have the heart to make Wonwoo walk to the living room, so he just sighs and picks him up, hooking one arm underneath his knees and resting one against his back.

Wonwoo doesn’t even fight back or whine as Mingyu carries him, which tells him just how exhausted and drowsy he is.

“Damn, you’re so light, do you even eat?” he half whispers as he’s making his way out of the room.

“I eat.”

“Ok, well maybe you don’t eat enough. Or maybe you just eat junk food.”

“Shut up,” Wonwoo sleepily responds, curling against the futon once Mingyu lowers him down.

“Wow, that’s what I get for worrying about you?”

Wonwoo slowly tilts his head to look up at him, slightly more awake. “You... you’re worried about me?”

Mingyu freezes. “U-uh well, yeah, it’s kind of my job to help you. I mean, to look after you until I...” he trails off, not wanting to mention the word because he doesn’t want to ruin Wonwoo’s mood.

Turns out he didn’t need to stop himself because Wonwoo finishes his sentence for him. “Find my soulmate?”

“Yeah... something like that,” Mingyu grunts as he spreads the futon into a bed.

It’s not a complete lie.

This is Mingyu’s job after all. If he hadn’t showed up and Wonwoo’s temperature continued rising, he could’ve very well passed out and well, things wouldn’t be pretty... so yes, Mingyu did the right thing coming over.

He’s about to turn around when a hand suddenly reaches out and clutches at his sweater.

“Mingyu?”

His stomach does a strange flip at hearing his name uttered so softly in Wonwoo’s voice.

He slowly looks back down at Wonwoo who’s staring at him with tired, yet somehow worried eyes, locks of damp black hair falling over his forehead.

“Yeah?”

“Where are you going?” he asks, voice as scratchy and weak as ever.

“I was... going to change those bed sheets.”

“Oh.” Wonwoo pauses, letting his hands fall away from Mingyu’s sweater. “Thanks.”

“Yeah no problem...” his voice trails off. “Just rest now,” he quietly adds.

When Mingyu is back in Wonwoo’s room removing the dampened sheets, he gets a chance to get a better look at the place. The bedroom, Mingyu thinks, probably pretty accurately resembles the man himself.

Wonwoo’s walls and carpet are a calm coffee coloured beige, and his bed sheets, blankets, and curtains are all plain white. There’s a large black bookshelf in one corner that’s completely stacked from top to bottom. On the other side of the room sits Wonwoo’s desk, with books, papers and binders all neatly arranged on top, along with a laptop that’s covered in adorable little stickers of cats.

Despite the plainness of the colours in Wonwoo’s bed and walls, parts of his room are covered in posters of movies and video game characters. Mingyu’s eyes drift to the window, and he notices a row of action figures of characters he doesn’t recognize displayed on the windowsill. There’s also a Nintendo Switch controller sitting on the window seat right in front of the action figures, and a large Eddie doll fox plushy, complete with round glasses perched on it’s snout. The doll makes him laugh a bit because it oddly resembles Wonwoo in a way.

Mingyu’s eyes eventually tilt up to the ceiling where he sees a bunch of glow in the dark star stickers, and he can’t help but break out into a grin because it’s so dorky, like many other things in this room.

Suddenly, Mingyu begins to feel a strange but demanding tug on his heart the longer he looks up at those glow in the dark stars. He doesn’t understand why, but the stickers swirl around in his head and he starts feeling slightly dizzy. The edges of his mind feel so peculiarly fuzzy and warped.

Mingyu knows right then and there that he needs to get out of the room immediately.

And so, that’s what he does.

* .　　　　　
 ˚ 　　 ·  .  ·✷  *
+     　　
　　  + ✷   ✵ 　　  + 　  
✺  .       ˚  · 　　　 ✧　
　 *　 　   ˚

Chapter Text

Wonwoo doesn’t know how things turned out like this.

One day he was attending his classes no problem— the next he was puking every couple hours. (He suspects it was that sketchy ass restaurant Jihoon dragged him to before he left to visit his parents for the weekend.)

He didn’t want to call Soonyoung over for help because he knew his best friend was already stressed enough about his competition. Why worry him even more with his silly health problems the day before his trip, right?

Of course that backfired, and that’s why he is now laying on his futon, listening to Kim Mingyu’s soft humming coming from the kitchen.

Mingyu...  Right. Him again.

After his temperature finally went down (thanks to Mingyu), Wonwoo had napped peacefully for half and hour on the futon before Mingyu woke him and coaxed him to have some of the soup he made. He was still super drowsy from the medicine and kept dropping his spoon, so Mingyu had given up halfway through and just fed Wonwoo like one would for a child.

In fact, this whole time since Mingyu had appeared, Wonwoo had clung onto him, and had been so needy without any concern. But now that his head was finally clearing up, Wonwoo just felt embarrassed, and kind of wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out.

There was nothing he hated more than feeling like he owed someone. And he sure owed Mingyu a ton after all this.

Wonwoo wondered if the universe hated him.

Why couldn’t Mingyu have come to see him when he was perfectly healthy? Then Wonwoo could have easily rejected his request again.

But no— instead, Mingyu didn’t even come here asking something from him; he came here to take care of Wonwoo when he was felt like he was half dying. So really, Wonwoo couldn’t tell him off even if he wanted to.

What made matters worse was that his brain was playing it all like a broken record— Mingyu’s soft hands, Mingyu’s gentle voice, Mingyu’s caring eyes, Mingyu Mingyu Mingyu .

Wonwoo groans in frustration into the futon cushion trying to get his thoughts to stop when Mingyu walks in.

“I washed up the dishes,” he says as he plops himself on the carpet in front of the bed. “Are you feeling better?”

“Um yeah, I am.”

“That’s good,” Mingyu carefully smiles at him, which only makes Wonwoo sigh and turn away to stare at the ceiling.

He really doesn’t want to deal with that smile right now.

“What’s wrong?” Mingyu gets up to stand at the edge of the futon.

“Nothing,” Wonwoo quickly answers, turning away even more to face the wall. “I’m just tired that’s all.”

“I see,” Mingyu quietly responds. Wonwoo hears something like hurt in his voice, and it makes him wince.

A couple seconds go by in silence again before Mingyu speaks again.

“I... I guess, I’ll go now. I don’t want to bother you any longer.”

Wonwoo’s mouth goes dry and he doesn’t turn around to respond to Mingyu. He kind of wants to smack himself.

“Um, I’m just gonna leave my phone number on the fridge, so please call me if there are any emergencies ok?”

Wonwoo gulps.

He hears Mingyu getting his bag, and in that single moment, Wonwoo’s mind simply stills. He’s hit with the realization that his actions at the moment don’t have anything to do with Mingyu’s job, or Celestial Agency, or whatever... but only his own terrible habit of pushing away the people who try and reach out to him.

He doesn’t want to be like this— not anymore , and he’s been trying hard to change.

He squeezes his eyes shut, exhales, and then quietly calls out, “Mingyu, wait.”

“Yeah?”

Wonwoo gets up to see Mingyu at the door cautiously watching him. He slowly gets off the bed and makes his way towards Mingyu, his body still feeling exhausted despite his brain being frantic.

He stands an arm’s lengths away.

“Thank you... for uh, coming here.”

“Soonyoung asked me to,” Mingyu responds.

“I know... you didn’t need to help me out this much though. But you did, so thank you.”

“No problem.”

“Um, uh,” Wonwoo looks at the floor nervously now. “And you weren’t bothering me— I mean, um, it wouldn’t bother me if you stayed longer.” He rushes the words out in a quiet whisper, and he isn’t sure if Mingyu even heard, but he must have, because he wears a surprised look.

“Two minutes ago you sounded like you couldn’t wait for me to leave.”

“No I really wasn’t thinking that,” Wonwoo bites his lower lip nervously. “I was just being a jerk, because I’m not good at this, sorry.”

“Not good at what?” Mingyu steps closer until there’s only a foot between them now, and tilts his head at Wonwoo with a gentle smile.

“Uhhh,” Wonwoo clears his throat and feels heat rise to his face as he looks away. Mingyu is standing too close. And why is he smiling at Wonwoo like that? “...talking to people who are nice to me?”

“You were fine at the planetarium,” Mingyu points out.

“Yeah,” Wonwoo lowers his voice until it’s barely audible, “...because we were doing something I enjoyed and could easily talk about. Plus, I didn’t think you had any ulterior motive.”

“I’m sorry for lying to you back then.”

“You’re forgiven.”

Mingyu stares at him with a soft look that Wonwoo doesn’t quite understand once again, and he kind of wants to hide.

“Do you want me to be totally honest with you?” Mingyu asks him.

“Um... yes?”

“You’re right when you say, I didn’t need to stay here this long, even if Soonyoung asked me to check up on you. And I didn’t need to do all this, even if you’re technically part of my job for now. But I did all this just because I wanted to. Do you get what I’m saying? I don’t want you to think I have some underlying motive for everything ok?”

“...Ok,” Wonwoo finally manages to says, trying to formulate a logical reason why Mingyu would want to extensively help an awkward, socially inept guy who was kind of a jerk to him, other than the listed possibilities.

He opens his mouth to question him, but suddenly Mingyu is leaning forward to brush away the hair that’s falling into his eyes, and Wonwoo just loses his train of thought.

“And I don’t think you’re a jerk,” Mingyu gently adds. “Goodnight Wonwoo. Feel better.”

Wonwoo tries to get out a ‘goodnight’ back but no sound comes out. He just nods dumbly as Mingyu holds his satchel strap against his shoulder and waves a small bye.

Even when Mingyu is gone, Wonwoo is still standing there at the entrance of his apartment in a slight daze. He lifts his hand to his forehead where Mingyu brushed away his hair.

He wonders if Mingyu just casually acts like this towards any random person he meets. Or maybe he wants to make sure he’s the center of Wonwoo’s mind and get him all confused.

If that’s his goal, he’s achieving it.

Wonwoo gets up on Saturday feeling considerably better. Of course he hasn’t fully recovered, but his fever is gone which is a plus.

He waddles over to the fridge that morning and swings it open. When he’s about to walk away with a jug of milk, a blue post-it note stuck to his fridge catches his eye. The paper has a phone number on it, and at the bottom there’s a small message:

“Please contact me whenever you need to! – Kim Mingyu ♡ ”

Wonwoo sighs. He can’t believe that guy actually left his number on the fridge as he said would. Wonwoo takes the sticky note and pockets it.

For the rest of the day while he binge watches TV shows, his hands find themselves fiddling with the note. He scans the note over and over again as if there was anything else on it that he was missing.

Mingyu writes his 4’s all funny.

Why is there a heart at the end of the message again?

By the time evening rolls around he’s thoroughly frustrated. Why did Mingyu leave his own number on the fridge, and not just take Wonwoo’s? Why does Wonwoo need to be the decision maker of contacting the other or not?

It’s not as if he wants to text Mingyu badly— he just kind of feels obliged to after yesterday.

Or maybe that’s just an excuse Wonwoo has mastered himself into believing, and he really does want to talk to Mingyu.

Mingyu said ‘please contact me whenever you need to’.

Wonwoo really doesn’t need to. It’s not as if he’s close to passing out or something. There’s no impending emergency for him to contact Mingyu. Not only is there no need to, but texting Mingyu is like opening the gate straight to a flood— the flood being Celestial Agency, and their ever so insistent urge to get mixed up in life and find his soulmate (as if it were their business). The reasonable conclusion here is obviously: don’t text Mingyu.

So why is he mulling over this so much?

Eventually he gives up and decides that he’ll send Mingyu two messages and that’s that. No more. Ever again. He hesitates before finally sending the text.

To: Kim Mingyu

Hi, this is Wonwoo <

I’m feeling better, so thanks again for yesterday. <

The response comes back almost immediately.

From: Kim Mingyu

> oh hey! ^^ 

> glad you’re better 

> so you don’t have a fever anymore? 

To: Kim Mingyu

No, I don’t <

From: Kim Mingyu

> did you like the soup from yesterday? 

To: Kim Mingyu

Um, yes? <

To be honest, I don’t really remember the taste <

From: Kim Mingyu

> lol understandable 

> still, I’ll send you the recipe for it so you can make more of it 

A couple seconds go by before a link to a Google document pops up titled ‘Yummy Soup’, and Wonwoo can’t help but smile.

From: Kim Mingyu

> it’s good to have food like this when you’re sick you know? ^^ 

To: Kim Mingyu

Yeah thanks <

Wonwoo doesn’t know what urges him to question Mingyu, but he’s suddenly curious and can’t help it.

To: Kim Mingyu

 Do you have grandparents or siblings < 
you look after or something?   

 (You just seem experienced in this.) <

From: Kim Mingyu

> lol no 😂 

> we don’t even have siblings and grandparents where I’m from 

To: Kim Mingyu

 What?? How? <

From: Kim Mingyu

> umm its weird, but we just don’t 

> families in general don’t exist where I’m from 

To: Kim Mingyu

Wait, so you don’t have parents? <

From: Kim Mingyu

> no i dont 

To: Kim Mingyu

 What the hell, where are you from then? <

From: Kim Mingyu

> it’s hard to explain 

To: Kim Mingyu

What do you mean it’s hard to explain? <

Just answer the question. <

From: Kim Mingyu

> like it’s not anywhere you’d know of 

> ...it’s not exactly on earth 

Wonwoo stares at the screen somewhat stunned. He did jokingly think Mingyu was an alien. And Mingyu did try to tell him... but it didn’t make any of this less surprising.

To: Kim Mingyu

So you’re not... <

From: Kim Mingyu

> human? 

> not really, no 

To: Kim Mingyu

 ... <

From: Kim Mingyu

> hey I tried to tell you! 

To: Kim Mingyu

 Sorry, you ramble too much <

 I don’t know what to filter out and what to listen to <

From: Kim Mingyu

> ouch ;-; you’re so mean 

> after all that I did for you 

To: Kim Mingyu

Stop trying to guilt trip me <

From: Kim Mingyu

> hehe 

To: Kim Mingyu

So, if you’re not even from earth, <

Why do you know so much about it?? <

From: Kim Mingyu

> it’s hard to explain 

> I have to go now 

> sorry to cut the convo short 

> but I’ll talk to you later k? 

To: Kim Mingyu

Ok yeah, bye <

From: Kim Mingyu

> see you! ^^ 

Wonwoo grumbles turning off his phone. Hard to explain this, hard to explain that! Why couldn’t Mingyu just answer his questions?

He scrolls through their conversation beginning to realize that he did way more than just ‘send Mingyu two messages and be done’. And honestly, at this point, he isn’t even sure he cares. He’s too overcome with curiosity about Mingyu; who he is, where he’s from, what the Celestial Agency actually is...

After all, he’s beginning to realize how little he actually knows, and he wants to know more.

He lies on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He wants to text Soonyoung, but he’s probably busy with the competition so he decides to hold it off until tomorrow. Instead he texts Jihoon:

To: Lee Jihoon

Hey, don’t go to that sketchy ass <
restaurant again    

Jihoon responds a good 30 minutes later as Wonwoo is eating the leftovers of the soup Mingyu made for him.

From: Jihoon

> What do you mean??

To: Lee Jihoon

I got sick right after going there <

I think it was cause of it <

From: Lee Jihoon

> Oh shit, sorry

To: Lee Jihoon

No, it’s fine, just warning you for the future <

Good thing you didn’t get sick <

From: Lee Jihoon

> Honestly I wish I did

> Then maybe I wouldn’t have gone to go visit my parents

> Did you ask to drink water at the restaurant?

To: Lee Jihoon

I did yeah <

From: Lee Jihoon

> It was cause of that

To: Lee Jihoon

Dammit, you’re probably right <

From: Lee Jihoon

> Well now I know... 

> don’t go to the places Seokmin recommends 

To: Lee Jihoon

Seokmin recommended that? <

And you decided to LISTEN to him??? <

From: Lee Jihoon

> Yeah point taken

> To be fair, we were kind of starving after studying

> And it was close by

To: Lee Jihoon

Ok yeah I guess <

Anyway, what was wrong with the visit? <

To see your parents I mean <

From: Lee Jihoon

> Oh nothing much

> Just the usual,

> “Why’d you choose a music major?”

> They didn’t let me go to Epsilon College of Arts

> We compromised that I could only stay where I was if I got top grades all round

? And they STILL complain??

> When are they going to let it go

> God they drive me up a wall

Wonwoo pauses. He can’t help but think that at least Jihoon has parents who care. Maybe the wrong way of showing their care, but caring nonetheless. But of course, he’s not going to be petty about this. Everybody has their own troubles, and it’s unfair to compare their two situations.

To: Lee Jihoon

Honestly screw what they say <

You’ll do fine <

From: Lee Jihoon

> Yeah I hope so

> Anyway, you’re still up for the movie right?

To: Lee Jihoon

Movie?? < 

From: Lee Jihoon

> Yeah, don’t you remember?

> We agreed to watch a horror movie tonight

> At your place?

> Once midterms ended

To: Lee Jihoon

Oh< 

Shit <

I forgot <

From: Lee Jihoon

> So is that a yes or a no

To: Lee Jihoon

Ummm, yeah it’s fine actually <

From: Lee Jihoon

> But are you still sick?

To: Lee Jihoon

I’ve been better <

But I really want to watch it anyway <

Plus if it was from the food, I’m not contagious <

From: Lee Jihoon

> As long as you’re fine with it

> Ok, see you tonight

To: Lee Jihoon

Yeah bye <

Wonwoo sighs and begins tidying his apartment. It’ll be a total mess by the end of the night, but he still wants it looking like he somewhat has his shit together. (Even when he really doesn’t, and school is kicking his ass).

***

Mingyu’s evening is unexpected.

First, Wonwoo actually texts him. Yes, Wonwoo. And he wasn’t even the one to initiate it— Wonwoo himself was. It’s beyond surprising.

And then right in the middle of their conversation, he gets a call from the agency.

His thin metal cord bracelet starts buzzing. He immediately picks it up and an image of Headmaster Yoo sitting on his office chair, filing his nails, hovers in a small portal-like space in front of him.

“Hello Mingyu.”

“Hello sir Y— I mean Jeonghan.”

Jeonghan gives him a small amused smile. “So I’ve been keeping a watch on your progress.”

Mingyu gulps. “Y-yes, and?”

“Mingyu by now, you should’ve already found the general location of... what was the name... Wonwin’s soulmate?”

“It’s Wonwoo...” his voice trails off and his cheeks burn in embarrassment. He knows he hasn’t accomplished as much as he should have.

Jeonghan sighs, finishing up his nail filing and giving his nails a quick blow. “I’m thinking of calling you back here. Looks like the job was too difficult.”

“What?!” Mingyu shoots up from his chair, nearly knocking it over. “N-no! Please, no. I can do this, I know I can.”

Jeonghan pouts. “Oh but honey, you haven’t even been able to make the contract yet.”

Mingyu stares at the ground. “I- I know that. Please. Just give me a little more time.”

The headmaster sighs plopping his head onto his desk like a frustrated little kid. “7 earth days,” he finally says.

“W-what?”

“I’m giving you that much time to make the contract. That’s it. If you don’t complete at least that within the time, you’re done, and somebody else will take your position.”

“O-ok,” Mingyu stammers. “I promise, I won’t let you down.”

“Yeah you better not,” Jeonghan mutters before the image closes off.

Mingyu sighs, now alone in the silence of his hotel room. He needed to earn Wonwoo’s trust, and convince him, and he needed to do it fast.

Maybe that’s why an hour later he’s standing in front of Wonwoo’s apartment, knocking.

“Why are you so ea—” Wonwoo’s scowl as he opens the door immediately disappears, and he looks at Mingyu with surprise. “Oh sorry, I thought you were someone else.”

“Sorry for coming without saying anything. I was kinda in a rush and I forgot.”

“It’s fine. Um, you can come in.”

Well this was progress wasn’t it? He was showing up unannounced to Wonwoo’s place and wasn’t being told off, but rather welcomed.

Mingyu tenseness uncoils a bit as he steps inside.

“Who were you expecting?”

“Hmm?” Wonwoo looks up at him. “Oh, my friends are coming over in an hour or something. I thought they came early.”

“You have friends besides Soonyoung?” Mingyu smirks.

“Shut up,” Wonwoo mutters, playing with the sleeves of his oversized cream coloured sweater.

“I’m kidding,” he grins, quickly trying to veer away from the thought that Wonwoo pulling his sleeves over his hands are way cuter than what should be possible for a 21 year old guy.

“Ok, um you can just sit around for a while cause I’m tidying this place before they show up.”

Mingyu wants to suggest that he can help, but he doesn’t exactly know where everything goes so he just nods and quietly sits on the sofa, going on his phone as Wonwoo goes back to his cleaning.

About fifteen minutes later Wonwoo plops down on the sofa beside him.

“Done?”

“Yeah...” Wonwoo’s voice trails off before asking, “So why are you here again?”

“Well,” Mingyu begins, swallowing nervously, “You wanted to know all these things about where I’m from and stuff.”

“Yeah... and you said it was hard to explain,” Wonwoo says with raised eyebrows.

“It’ll probably be easier to say it in person.”

Wonwoo’s lips upturn slightly and his eyebrows remain raised but look less questioning and more amused now. “You came here to give me a lesson about your alien heritage?”

Mingyu chuckles at the words. “Precisely. Ok shoot, give me a question.”

Wonwoo looks up at the ceiling in thought. “Hmm ok, first of all, if you’re not a human, what are you exactly?”

“A vesper,” he responds. When Wonwoo gives him a weird look he explains more. “Honestly, just think of us as like a subset, or subgroup of humans or something. We’re almost the exact same anyway.”

“Almost? ...so what’s different?”

“Uhh,” Mingyu scours his mind. There are multiple things really, but Wonwoo’s intense gaze on him makes the words falter on his tongue.  “W-we, I, have special abilities. Like... remember that night at the planetarium?”

Wonwoo looks confused for a moment before his eyes are suddenly alight. “I knew you did something weird then!” he blurts out. “T-to that employee right?”

“It was just a really simple binding.” Mingyu says nervously. He isn’t quite sure why he’s nervous, but somewhere in the back of his mind he does wonder if he’ll scare off Wonwoo with all this new information about himself.  

“A binding...” Wonwoo slowly repeats, something like curiosity and intrigue lacing his eyes. It brings Mingyu back to the night they met at the planetarium, when Wonwoo wore this same look.

“I guess people here would call it a spell .”

“What does the binding, or spell or whatever let you do?”

“It manipulates the mind a little bit. Lets you influence their decisions without them even realizing it.”

Wonwoo’s alarmed face immediately makes him want to curse and bite back his words. “No, no! It’s not that bad. Really. Like, you can’t make anyone do what they would truly never do. It’s safe that way. It can’t be used to seriously hurt anyone.”

“Why would you even need something like that as a vesper?”

“It’s mainly just used as a defense mechanism,” Mingyu shrugs. “Cover our tracks and carelessness. Vespers shouldn’t be questioned by authority figures on earth.”

Wonwoo’s eyes have suddenly hardened and he’s staring at Mingyu with a tight jaw. “So you can get away with things?”

He doesn’t understand this sudden shift in Wonwoo’s expression. One second he was curious, the next so cold. Mingyu squirms uncomfortably in his seat, meeting Wonwoo’s hardened gaze with a stiff smile.

“We just don’t want the media and news companies catching hold of our abilities and stuff. That would be chaotic. The only people who know about us are some humans we’ve worked with, and the higher-ups at the Soulmate Service.”

“I see...” Wonwoo murmurs. “So what else can you do? Can you transform into other creatures, or read people’s minds, or—”

“Wonwoo this isn’t Harry fucking Potter. I’m not some wizard,” Mingyu can’t help but roll his eyes with a small smile.

“Well that’s boring.”

He laughs at Wonwoo’s face that looks far more disappointed than it really should be. “Ok... I can instantaneously transport myself places. Is that cool enough?”

Wonwoo nearly screams, “You can teleport?!”

“Trust me, it isn’t that amazing,” Mingyu shakes his head. “It’s only within short distances. My maximum is 50 kilometers, and I get pretty tired right after.”

“Still cool,” Wonwoo mumbles. His gaze gets more intense as he looks at Mingyu, and it feels like it’s smoldering him. “So if you’re not from here.... where exactly is your home?”

“Really far away...” There’s a moment of silence now. Mingyu figures that’s not an adequate enough answer so he leans over and places his palm out, tracing a small spiral on it with his fingertips. “See, this is where earth is in the Milky Way,” he explains, pointing with his forefinger . “I’m on the other side of the center— roughly 30,000 light years away.”

“Wow.” Wonwoo blinks, eyes wide and looking amazed. Mingyu can’t help but laugh because he almost resembles a child on Christmas who just got the most amazing present. “What’s your planet like? Is it like earth?”

Mingyu chuckles with a shake of his head. “No way. There’s nothing in that place except for obscure looking plants and animals. No other beings like me, except for within the agency. There are only about 20,000 of us...”

“Oh, that’s pretty small then,” Wonwoo murmurs. “Honestly, I don’t really get what your agency does.”

Mingyu shrugs, “In school we were told that we’re the bridge between earth and the universe.”

“The universe?” Wonwoo squints.

“Don’t quote me on it, but the universe is what controls this whole soulmate thing,” Mingyu shrugs. “Don’t you think that within a planet of 8 billion, the chances of meeting your soulmate are pretty low? When you meet them, where you meet them, how it happens... it’s all controlled by the universe.”

“Never really thought about it,” Wonwoo shakes his head, leaning back against the armrest of the couch and looking up at the ceiling. “Though people do talk about it sometimes...”

There’s a moment of silence, and Mingyu doesn’t quite know what to say. Wonwoo’s eyes however are thoughtful, as though he’s organizing the ideas swimming around in his head.”

“I still don’t get it,” he finally says.

“Don’t get what?”

“What’s the point of the agency if the universe is at control?”

“Well um...” Mingyu licks his lips. Somehow explaining these things was difficult. How does he make this sound believable ? Or maybe he was just overthinking things and Wonwoo already had his belief and trust. “Think about it like this... the universe isn’t foolproof. There can be mistakes and stuff right? I mean these are humans we’re talking about. There’s nothing predictable about them. Like, look at you...”

“What?” Wonwoo furrows his brows together.

“You don’t have a soulmate mark,” he answers. “There are others like you with that issue too. Or maybe some people had an accident that scarred or completely removed their wrists. There are some people with two names. There are some who have one name, but that person doesn’t have their name. Like there are so many weird anomalies that appear time and time again. We’re just here to fix those issues and keep the system running smoothly. Get it?”

Wonwoo slowly nods.  “I think... So if you’re just given these tasks to fix ‘issues’ on earth, are there enough of you, um vespers, to complete everything?”

“Usually there’s enough,” Mingyu shrugs. “I mean unlike normal humans, vespers live for much longer. We live for about 400 years. We stop physically aging at around 40, and then die much later.”

Wonwoo’s mouth goes wide for the nth time today, before he breaks out into giggles.

“What?” Mingyu asks, feeling confused. “What did I say? Why are you laughing?”

“If vespers live for like 400 years, and you’re a year younger than me like you said, then that means you’re practically a vesper baby.”

Wonwoo throws his head back and laughs and the sound coils in Mingyu’s stomach. He tries to ignore it and lets out a snort. “Yeah, doesn’t work like that Wonwoo.”

Wonwoo reaches out to pinch his cheeks. “That’s hyung to you," Wonwoo says, even though Mingyu's pretty sure they're both aware of how he'd already dropped the formalities. "And no, you’re a baby.”

Mingyu pupils waver under Wonwoo’s smile, and he feels his face growing warm. Without realizing, the two of them had moved a lot closer through the course of this conversation. Wonwoo probably realizes the same thing, and notices how weird his actions must be because his cheeks suddenly go pink as he drops his hand. He then awkwardly clears his throat, “Um so, what have your experiences been like on other tasks?”

Mingyu shakes his head and sighs. “No, this is my first time on the job. I actually got my license a year earlier because the head of the agency thought I was ready. So, I kind of need to complete this if I don’t want to be thrown back into school again.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah...” Mingyu’s voice trails off.

“So you complete the job once you find my soulmate?”

“Almost. I need to allow you two to meet and establish a good relationship.”

“And you have powers to just find them?”

“Not quite... I mean, I need to create a contract with you to be even able to locate where they might be. It would be so easy if I could just find them,” Mingyu chuckles.  

“C-contract?” Wonwoo bites his lip nervously. “L-like a paper I need to sign? Or is it more wild because you’re a vesper and all... Like you take my blood or something?”

Mingyu bursts out laughing, the tension from a couple seconds ago unwinding away instantaneously. “No! Nothing like that.”

“Then?...” Wonwoo looks at him questioningly.

“As a vesper I’m able to look through your memories; so we use that to our advantage. I just peer into your memories, and I need to see your happiest memory. I capture a teeny bit of that memory and store it with me. Nothing major— so you don’t lose any important parts of the memory. And then when the job is done, I return that small piece I took. That’s the contract.”

“That sounds so weird,” Wonwoo mumbles. “Why the happiest memory anyway?”

“Jeez, you’re full of questions aren’t you?”

“Just answer!” Wonwoo frowns.

Mingyu sighs and recites the lines he’s heard over and over in training. “A contract is what builds a strong relationship between the vesper and the human. By seeing and gathering a little bit of a person’s happiest memory, we understand a lot more about them at the very heart. And that is what we need to be able to locate your soulmate. Don’t ask why it’s like that— it’s complicated. It just is ok?”

He hums in response. There a contemplative silence that settles between them for a while.

Wonwoo is the first to break the silence. “Hey, do you—” His words are cut off by a couple knocks on the door.

“Oh, your friends here,” Mingyu says as he slowly gets up. “I should... probably get going.”

“W-wait...” Wonwoo’s voice grows quiet. “You can um, stay , if you want, and watch the movie with us. It’s a horror movie, do you like those?”

Mingyu gulps. “Y-yeah, sort of.”

That’s a total lie— he really fucking hates horror movies to the core. They terrify him, and it’s not a fun feeling. But he needs to get closer with Wonwoo and make this contract immediately.

So yeah, why doesn’t he watch a horror movie with Wonwoo and his friends?

·  .  ˚ 　  　 ⋆ 　　 * * 　　　 ·
.  ✫  · ✫  .  　　  .  *
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Chapter Text

Mingyu is completely regretting his life decisions as Wonwoo’s friends enter the apartment to watch the horror movie— mainly because he hates horror movies.

But it’s for the greater good, he continues telling himself. He has to get close with Wonwoo and make the contract within 7 days. He has to.

Wonwoo’s friends are pretty noisy, and they bring with them loads of snacks and bottles of beer. They’re quite different from Wonwoo, but it’s not surprising looking at Soonyoung. Maybe Wonwoo finds it easier to befriend loud extroverted people, when he’s such an introvert himself.

They stare at Mingyu in silence for a split second before Wonwoo quickly intervenes. “Um this is a friend, of mine. His name is Mingyu”

Mingyu flashes them his winning smile before introducing himself.

They’re all immediately friendly towards him and he quickly learns their names. There’s Seungkwan, Seokmin, Vernon, and the tiniest boy hidden at the back is named Jihoon. He seems the coldest out of them, and gives Mingyu a small one over glance before awkwardly shaking his hand and introducing himself.

As Jihoon sets up the movie, Mingyu is bombarded with questions about his age, where he studies, etc. etc. Luckily, he has his whole life story plotted out and he’s ready to recite the lines.

(“Yeah, I’m not in university. No, I actually work as a freelancer programmer. Self-taught yeah.” Meanwhile he’s getting funny looks from Wonwoo, which he ignores, and impressed comments from the rest of them.)

It’s going pretty smoothly until Jihoon speaks for the first time. “So how did you meet Wonwoo?”

“Oh, um,” he catches Wonwoo’s bright eyes and his heartbeat picks up at the strange look in his eyes. “I uh... met him through his friend Soonyoung.”

“I see,” Jihoon nods curtly and turns to the TV as the movie starts playing.

Wonwoo seems a bit frozen as he stiffly turns his neck to face the screen. Mingyu is sitting right beside him, and Jihoon is on the other side of Wonwoo.

Mingyu turns to glance at him with a frown. “What’s wrong?” He whispers.

Wonwoo glances at him, shaking his head, “It’s nothing, don’t worry.”

He nods, but isn’t fully convinced.

Wonwoo then leans over and whispers something to Jihoon. Mingyu gets the feeling it’s about him, but he tries not to think too much about it.





The movie is just as terrifying as Mingyu expects, and Seokmin nearly cries as Vernon tries to calm him down and pets his hair. Seungkwan isn’t a whole lot better, but he’s way louder and keeps complaining between screams about why the fuck they picked a horror movie, and how this was going to haunt him till Christmas.

Meanwhile, Vernon when he isn’t calming down Seokmin, just seems concerned in consuming as much food as possible. (“You dumbass, that’s for after the movie!” Seungkwan repeatedly groans, watching him.)

Wonwoo and Jihoon seem to be the only ones fully focused on the movie. The two are watching without batting an eye. Mingyu can’t help but admire how the jump scares don’t even get to them.

On the other hand, Mingyu’s fists are clenched white against the sofa, and his lips hurt from biting them as he’s trying to keep his mouth shut and make it seem like the movie doesn’t scare him whatsoever. (Really he just wants to run out of there).

Three quarters into the movie he thinks Wonwoo is beginning take notice of his stiff cutting board-like posture, because he starts glancing over more frequently.

Suddenly Wonwoo shifts closer towards him and unfurls his hands from the sofa and clasps them in his own. Mingyu’s mouth opens in surprise and he immediately turns to Wonwoo, whose eyes are fixated on the screen. Even in the dim room he can make out a faint blush spread across Wonwoo’s cheeks. Mingyu wants to ask him what the hell he’s doing, but he has lost the ability to speak.

“You didn’t need to say you liked horror movies you know,” Wonwoo suddenly whispers, keeping his eyes glued to the screen. From the glow of the TV screen he then sees Jihoon glancing across from Wonwoo, directly at him with raised eyebrows. Heat rises to his face.

Despite how embarrassing this all is for Mingyu, he doesn’t pull away or even mind. Wonwoo’s soft and cold hands serve as a perfect distraction from the horror movie, and he automatically calms down. By the time the movie ends, Mingyu isn’t even terrified anymore, and he can barely focus on anything except for how spindly Wonwoo’s fingers are.

“Well that was a disappointment,” Jihoon mumbles with a stretch once it’s over. “I was expecting something actually scary.”

Jihoon then glances over at the two of them again before smirking.

Mingyu’s face goes red and Wonwoo immediately lets go of his hand, probably only just realizing that he was still holding it. Luckily, no one but Jihoon seems to notice.

“Not scary enough?! You’re fucked up in the head,” Seungkwan scowls.

“Doesn’t help that you’re such a wuss kwannie,” Seokmin teases.

“Wow you’re the one to talk,” Seungkwan retorts with pout. “You were practically crying by the end.”

“But when they just found her hanging body, it was so scary!”

The bickering ensues while Vernon simply yawns and announces that he’s ordering pizza.




For the rest of the night, Mingyu finds himself hanging around Seungkwan and Seokmin as they’re singing their hearts out in a Karaoke battle. He watches as Seungkwan drags Vernon into Karaoke, and Vernon just belts out notes completely off key and they all laugh. Seungkwan and Seokmin seem pretty drunk by 12, while Vernon is probably completely sober since he hasn’t seen the guy touch a bottle of beer, but comes off as the wildest of them all. In fact Mingyu is pretty sure Vernon doesn’t even need alcohol in his life ever to reach this sort of state. Mingyu is watching them in amusement, not totally drunk, but fairly buzzed himself.

He glances over at Wonwoo who’s sipping on probably his third or fourth bottle of beer, and looks slightly tipsy but nothing more. After a couple rounds of Karaoke he had migrated to sit with Jihoon, and was talking and laughing with him.

Mingyu kind of wants to go over and spark a conversation, but Jihoon inexplicably intimidates him, so he just sits glued to his spot enjoying Seokmin and Seungkwan’s increasingly drunk singing.





Eventually by 1am everyone seems to grow tired and the group decides to head home considering they only live a couple blocks away and Wonwoo’s apartment is a little too cramped for all of them.

Wonwoo plops down beside him and sighs as the rest are filing out of the apartment.

He turns to look at Mingyu with tired eyes, “Did you have fun?”

Mingyu smiles at the way Wonwoo’s eyelids keep drooping. “Yeah.”

“That’s good,” Wonwoo mumbles sleepily and lolls over, smushing his face against the side of Mingyu’s arms. Mingyu is about to fix the position of Wonwoo’s head and move it onto his shoulder when there are sudden footsteps to his right.

He jumps slightly to see Jihoon walking out from the hallway.

“Didn’t realize anyone else was still here,” Mingyu chuckles nervously unsure of how to fill the awkward silence between them.

“I was using the bathroom,” Jihoon responds. “Is Wonwoo ok?”

“Yeah I think so,” Mingyu frowns looking at the slumped over figure leaning against him. “He was pretty sick yesterday, and probably still a little sick, so I think he’s just tired.”

“Yeah figures,” Jihoon yawns coming over to sit beside Mingyu.

There’s a small second of nerve-wracking silence before he asks, “So how did you and Wonwoo actually meet?”

“Wuh-what?” Mingyu’s eyes quickly flit over to Wonwoo who seems to have already dozed off.

“A couple of weeks ago, he brought your name up, I think by accident. When I asked him who you were, he said you were just a guy he met at work. But today you told me you met Wonwoo through Soonyoung.”

“Oh.” Mingyu’s mouth goes dry.

“Well what is it?”

“Uhh... well, it’s kind of complicated. You should probably ask Wonwoo.”

“Hmm ok,” Jihoon cocks his head to the side before peering at him suspiciously. “Do you like Wonwoo or something?”

“Wait what?!” Mingyu nearly yells, and Jihoon gives him a glare to tell him to be quiet, pointing at Wonwoo who is still asleep. He lowers his voice, “N-no it’s nothing like that!”

“Ok whatever, I’m just asking,” Jihoon shrugs, not looking entirely convinced. “Are you staying here for the night?”

Mingyu glances at the time. It’s nearing two, and he is fairly tired and has alcohol in his system. He probably isn’t capable of transporting himself back to his hotel at this time without risking ending up in some random ditch.

“Probably,” he shrugs.

Luckily Jihoon seems to trust him because he just says, “I’m going back to my apartment now, so can you get him to bed?” He points at Wonwoo.

“Yeah,” Mingyu nods, “Bro are fine going on your own?”

Jihoon gives him a funny look. “I only live a couple floors up. You don’t need to worry.”

“Oh ok... um nice talking to you!” He ends lamely as Jihoon exits.

The apartment is totally silent now, save for Wonwoo’s steady breathing and the tick of the clock. His right arm is starting to feel numb with the weight of a body resting against it this whole time. He slowly shifts Wonwoo so he’s laying his head on Mingyu’s lap, and massages his stiff shoulders.

In the eerie and continuous silence of the apartment, Mingyu’s mind suddenly starts to spin, and he gets the craziest idea.

If he were totally sober, he probably wouldn’t even consider it. But it’s late, he’s tired, and he’s no longer sure how many beers he’s had himself, so he doesn’t know where he’s going with his terrible idea.

‘7 days’ Jeonghan’s voice repeats over and over in his mind.

He looks down at Wonwoo and starts feeling panicked. It’s already the second day.

What if he fails in making the contract with Wonwoo in time? All his hard work up until now would wash away into nothing. The other vespers would consider him a failure.

Maybe that’s what Mingyu is afraid of the most.

Failure.

He isn’t used to it. In the past he had breezed through all his classes like it were nothing. This is the first time that he’s actually on the brink of failure. And it terrifies him.

His classmates’ words ring through his head. They had been so impressed with him. Even Jeonghan put so much faith in him to complete this task. He couldn’t let him down. But most of all, he couldn’t let himself down. He absolutely couldn’t.

Mingyu’s hands hover above Wonwoo’s forehead.

And before every fiber of his being can tell him to stop, he’s already sinking.





They say every human’s memories take form in a different colour, and not a single one is identical to one another. Some can be a swirl of multiple colours, and some can just be one solid colour; there are billions of possibilities.

Wonwoo’s memories take the colour of indigo. Mingyu feels like he’s sinking into a starless nightsky when he enters them.

It’s only two seconds later when he comes to his senses of what he’s doing, that he realizes he needs to get out of there as fast as he can.

But it’s too late.

Even though he’s trying to claw himself away from the memories, he keeps sinking.

Then all at once he’s standing on a low bridge in the middle of fall. The sky is a bright blue, and fiery red maple leaves are fluttering in the chilly breeze down to the clear water only a couple feet below the bridge.

He sees a much younger Wonwoo in front of him. Judging by his school uniform, he looks like he’s in highschool. He doesn’t have his blazer on, and his white shirt is all dirtied up with multiple buttons gone undone. But it’s his face that immediately catches Mingyu’s attention. His lips are bleeding and his face looks like he’s gone through a good beating. Bruises are already forming around his eyes and cheeks.

There are three boys that look his age there too. Two of them grab onto his arms as he’s struggling to get away from them. The third boy stands a couple feet away, a cruel expression crossing his face as he looks at Wonwoo. He clutches a bag in his hand and holds it out over the bridge railing, threatening to let it plummet into the icy water below.

“No!” Wonwoo cries out, tears starting to dribble down his face at this point. “Please don’t! All my textbooks and notes are all in there and—”

It feels like water is rushing into Mingyu’s ears and he suddenly can’t hear Wonwoo’s cries anymore.

This is Wonwoo’s happiest memory? No it can’t be. Maybe he took the wrong turn somewhere and—

Suddenly, time dramatically slows down.

Wonwoo stops yelling and struggling against the bullies. He turns his head and is staring directly at Mingyu with wide eyes, tears still dripping down his bruised cheeks.

“Oh shit,” Mingyu mutters.





His breathing is heavy when he snaps himself out of the memory.

He’s back in the dimly lit apartment.

He reels his hands away from Wonwoo’s forehead. Wonwoo is looking up at him with wide blinking eyes, breathing heavily as well. He immediately shoots up from where he’s laying down and turns to look at Mingyu.

“Wh-what was that?” his voice comes out scratchy, and somehow distorted.

Mingyu licks his lips. “I... I was just. Well.”

Wonwoo’s eyes go from confused to understanding in matter of seconds.

“Oh.”

There’s a beat.

“You... you were trying to...”

Mingyu looks down at his lap, a feeling of burning shame rising up his skin. “Yes.”

“Why...” Wonwoo’s voice trails off, and there’s a confused but hurt look in his eyes. He quietly speaks again, “You had zero right to see that.”

Mingyu wants to try and explain himself. But really, what was there to say? There were no real excuses to give. He just tried to create a contract without consent of the human. He broke one of the biggest rules taught to him so far.

He would likely be suspended for this when he returned to the agency. But more importantly... he destroyed any semblance of trust Wonwoo had with him.

Why? Because he was desperate to keep his job. Yet ironically so, he probably ruined all of his chances to even complete it.

Wonwoo continues staring at him in disbelief. His eyes transform from confusion, into something darker and stormier. He opens his mouth about to say something, but Mingyu quickly gets up.

“I... I’m sorry. I’m really really sorry,” his voice catches and breaks through his words. He’s never felt like a bigger piece of garbage than in this moment.

He doesn’t meet Wonwoo’s eyes again as he’s getting up. He doesn’t want to. He’s too scared to see the expression in them again. So he just silently grabs his coat and slips on his shoes. “I’m going to go now.”

And then he gets out of there as fast as possible.





Mingyu spends the next two days filled with dread. He anxiously checks his bracelet over and over waiting. Since the moment he pretty much fled from Wonwoo’s apartment, to now, he was so sure he would get a call from the agency.

After all, he broke such a massive rule by trying to make a contract with a human without permission, so he doesn’t really know why know why they wouldn’t take him off the job and even temporarily suspend him. But funny enough, no call ever comes and Mingyu is just left to wallow in despair of how Wonwoo probably hates him now.

It’s only after two days of avoidance that he finally decides to contact Wonwoo and well... apologize as he should and own up to his mistake.

To: Wonwoo (^-.-^)  

hey wonwoo, <

can we talk? <

Mingyu waits and waits, but no response comes. Instead his eyes only scan over a “Seen, 10:32pm” and he sighs.

It seems as though he’s being flat out ignored.

He tries calling a couple times the following days too but is only left with the sounds of Wonwoo’s awkward sounding voicemail. Until now he hasn’t spoken to Soonyoung, maybe out of nervousness that he would know everything that had happened up until this point.





He’s eventually standing in front of Wonwoo’s apartment on Thursday for what feels like the hundredth time (really, it’s only been three), and hesitantly knocks.

Wonwoo opens the door with a bored look, which immediately transforms into something bitter the moment he sees Mingyu. He immediately moves to close the door shut but Mingyu steps his foot out, and rather painfully, stops the expected slam of the door.

“Wonwoo please, just hear me out,” he begs.

There’s only a crack open for him to see the other’s expression, but nonetheless he sees Wonwoo’s stare hardening.

“I tried,” Wonwoo snaps back. “I tried to listen to you, give you a chance, and you just...”

“I know that. I really screwed up and I’m sorry.”

“Ok. Now how about you leave me alone yeah?”

“Won—”

“Look just give it a break ok?” Wonwoo bites out and swings the door open so they can fully see each other now. “When you act so friendly with me, it annoys me. Because that’s just it— I know it’s nothing more than an act. You could probably care less about me than a stranger would if it wasn’t for your job ok? You made it clear to me that night, so just leave me alone!”

And with that, the door is shut, and Mingyu is left standing outside kind of feeling terrible about himself. It feels like something is hollowing out and caving in on itself in his stomach— or maybe it’s his chest— it’s difficult to describe.

A burning sensation pricks the back of his eyes. He doesn’t understand what this feeling is, but Wonwoo’s words hurt more than they should. And suddenly, his entire career that he was so desperate to protect renders meaningless in the face of those words, and the twist of Wonwoo’s expression.

Wonwoo sighs and leans against the closed door. His irritation while talking to Mingyu from just moments ago washes away instantly, and now he just feels sick.

Mingyu....

Even when Wonwoo is trying to physically shut him out, apparently he won’t be able to shut him out mentally.

Soonyoung appears from the kitchen with a frown. “Was that Mingyu?”

Jihoon suddenly looks up from the video game he was intently playing, attention fully on Wonwoo now.

Both of his closest friends are coincidentally here, even though it’s a weekday. One is here to make him proper dinner (“Jeon Wonwoo you cannot live on fucking instant noodles you dumbass!”), and one is here to just hang out and play video games (as they always do after a big test).

Wonwoo sighs.

“It was, wasn’t it?” Soonyoung confirms

“Hey, you said you were going to tell me about that guy,” Jihoon suddenly calls out. “During the horror movie remember? You lied to me about how you two met. Or Mingyu lied. Either way, I want to know.”

“Yeah, and you told me you were going to explain why you’re so pissed off at him,” Soonyoung chimes in.

Wonwoo groans and finally sits on the couch beside Jihoon. Why did these two need to pry so much? Jihoon was normally way more passive and could care less, while Soonyoung wanted to know everything— but today it seemed both of them were being nosy.

“Why does it even matter?” Wonwoo mutters.

“Because you lied to me. And I don’t enjoy that,” Jihoon wrinkles his nose as if he were smelling something gone bad.

Soonyoung frowns, and settles down beside Wonwoo. Something like concern crosses over his features. “And because you seem like you’re in a bad mood lately and 20 bucks that Mingyu is the reason why.”

“Ok, ok, jeez fine. Lemme just tell Jihoon who Mingyu is.”

“Wow you told Soonyoung but not me?” Jihoon scowls.

“I wasn’t planning on telling him! He just found out ok,” he sighs.

“Anyway, so, how’d you meet Mingyu?”

Wonwoo recites the planetarium story again.

“Wow, I’m disappointed,” is all Jihoon can say about it in the end.

“Disappointed?!”

“I thought he had a crush on you or something.”

Wonwoo’s stomach flips at those words, and suddenly he feels sick. “Well now you know that it’s nothing like that,” he mutters with a wave of irritation, which invites questioning eyebrows from Jihoon.

“Ok, my turn,” Soonyoung nudges his shoulder, and so ensues another round of Wonwoo explaining everything that happened up until now.

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“So he kind of just, looked into your memories?” Jihoon stares up at the ceiling in thought, having just finished the game.

“Yes,” Wonwoo responds quietly.

“I mean, that’s practically like reading someone’s diary without their permission, so I get why you’re mad about it,” Soonyoung frowns. “But why don’t you hear him out? Everybody has their reasons you know.”

“I don’t care if he has a reason.” Wonwoo looks down at his lap.

“Won, why are you being like this?” Soonyoung shakes his shoulders. “Come on bro, don’t be so stubborn. Mingyu isn’t—”

“Why do I care what Mingyu is or isn’t?!” Wonwoo simply snaps. “I didn’t want anything to do with this soulmate thing in the first place ok?”

Soonyoung stares at him before biting his lower lip, his eyes wavering.

He sighs, immediately feeling bad about taking out his irritation on his friend who was only trying to help.

As intense as Soonyoung could be in the dance studio (or at least from what Wonwoo has seen when visiting during his practices), he was still really sensitive to people giving him the cold shoulder, or raising their voice in any other setting.

Wonwoo pulls him closer with a sigh, trying to smooth out his messy hair as an unspoken apology of some sort. He speaks gently this time, “I just— I don’t know. I’m just really unsure about this whole thing with Mingyu.”

“I know,” Soonyoung pouts. “And I know it’s your choice in the end.”

“Thank you,” Wonwoo gives him a tiny smile.





Soonyoung eventually leaves to head home, so it’s just Jihoon and him silently smashing the video game controllers, and playfully shoving each other, until eventually Wonwoo gets tired and just lays down on the carpet, staring at the ceiling. Jihoon follows suite a couple seconds later and bonks his head somewhat painfully onto his stomach.

“Ouch.”

“Sorry,” he yawns but makes no move to get off of Wonwoo. “Hey...”

“Yeah?”

“What was the memory?”

Wonwoo’s heartbeat quickens up. “What memory?” He tries to play dumb.

“You said a contract is made when a vesper sees a human’s happiest memory...”

“Yeah, so?” Wonwoo gulps.

“So what did Mingyu see when he looked into yours? You did say you were aware of it right?”

Wonwoo goes silent. This is exactly why he didn’t share as much with Jihoon. He was way too sharp, and would probably learn more about Wonwoo than what he knew about himself.

“It’s a secret,” he finally says.

“Wow really? You’re gonna be like this?”

“It’s really not important.”

“If you’re keeping a secret about something that’s ‘not important’, I can’t imagine what you’d consider actually important.”

“Ok, fine I’m not keeping it a secret,” Wonwoo huffs. “I just don’t want to talk about it.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s weird.”

“Your happiest memory is weird? What, is it something stupid like the first time you tried a burger or something?”

“What the fuck, no! And why are you so nosy today? You’re turning into Soonyoung.” Wonwoo pulls a face. “Have you been hanging around him more often lately?”

At that, Jihoon lifts his hand and drops it hard onto Wonwoo’s stomach.

“Ow! Asshole,” Wonwoo scowls, swatting his hands away.

Jihoon sits back up and turns around to look at Wonwoo. “What’s wrong with being more like Soonyoung anyway,” he questions with a snicker.

“Are you kidding?” Wonwoo rolls his eyes. “I don’t need two Soonyoungs around me. Please, I beg you; one is way too much already,”

It was true. Wonwoo had met Soonyoung and Jihoon at the same time. They both had such polarizing personalities, that at first it was a little difficult to be around them.

He immediately got close with Soonyoung, probably because he clung onto Wonwoo and coddled him like an overly affectionate puppy. So much so, that Wonwoo could barely even fight it. He wasn’t used to having that kind of attention and care directed towards him— so even if it made him really flustered, (and even annoyed sometimes), he really didn’t mind it. Soonyoung was what kept him grounded and happy more than anything. Wonwoo wouldn’t know what he would do without him. He was probably the first person Wonwoo ever considered as his “best friend”.

Jihoon was a whole different story though. Wonwoo found himself tiptoeing around the other when they met. His cold outer shell reminded Wonwoo too much of himself, and he was too scared that he’d get on his bad side.

It was only through slow moving time that he learned how Jihoon was way more caring and softhearted than he let on. Wonwoo found that he could joke with him, and he’d actually get Wonwoo’s sense of humor. He tolerated Wonwoo’s teasing like he would with no one else and never lashed out at him, other than their silly play fights. Whenever Wonwoo needed to breathe and calm down, he liked going to Jihoon. He’d never make Wonwoo talk about it, but just being with him and gaming for hours automatically calmed him down enough to continue.

Looking back on it now, Wonwoo doesn’t know where he’d be without either of them.

“Never turn into Soonyoung. I’m not kidding,” Wonwoo repeats again.

“Ok ok whatever,” Jihoon rolls his eyes.

“Anyway, I’m gonna sleep now” Wonwoo says with a yawn. “You can use the futon if you’re too lazy to go to your apartment.”

“You’re really not going to tell me your happiest memory?”

Wonwoo glares at Jihoon for a good 10 seconds before sighing. “Ok, can I tell you another day then? I just don’t feel like being ridiculed today.”

“Ok, fine,” Jihoon laughs. “I’m going to remember this Wonwoo.”

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Chapter Text

Wonwoo encounters Mingyu at the club on a Saturday night.

Soonyoung had said he wanted to go out that weekend, and because he’s more or less caught up on schoolwork, he (reluctantly) agrees.

Along with him and Soonyoung, Seokmin and Seungkwan also come with them; meanwhile, Jihoon is working as the DJ that night.

Of course when they arrive, his friends all go off to dance or socialize or whatever, but this kind of place is definitely not Wonwoo’s scene. He’d rather be home reading a book or playing a video game. It’s too crowded and hot and sweaty, and people are too loud and drunk— it all makes his head hurt. Which is probably why he likes to spend majority of his time in the corner at one of the booths.

Occasionally people come up and try to talk with him, which he doesn’t even mind— anything better than having himself all crowded elsewhere.

But today is different. Today Mingyu walks up to him when he’s sipping a drink. Wonwoo’s expression immediately falls. Why is he here?

“Wonwoo, h-hey,” Mingyu stammers out and it’s almost cute how nervous he looks. That thought only makes his scowl deepen. “Soonyoung said you’d be here.”

“Did Soonyoung invite you?”

“Y-yeah...”

“Of course he did,” Wonwoo mutters under his breath before speaking. “What is it?”

Mingyu opens his mouth as if he’s about to say something, but all of a sudden a sullen look crosses over his face, and he closes his mouth.

“You know what, never mind,” Mingyu simply says, and with that turns away from Wonwoo, orders a drink, and walks off.

Wonwoo just stares at his retreating back. For some reason this situation only makes him more irritated. He came up to speak to Wonwoo, and left without saying a word. What? Did he have better things to do? (He probably did.)

Soonyoung stops by shortly after and sheepishly explains to Wonwoo why he invited Mingyu.

“He just seemed really down ok! I really don’t think you should’ve been so harsh to him. I was hoping.... you know.” Soonyoung trails off and sighs.

When Wonwoo doesn’t say anything, Soonyoung simply pats him on the back and changes the topic.

As the night progresses and Soonyoung migrates to go socialize with other people Wonwoo finds himself watching Mingyu from his seat. Mingyu with his arm casually slung around Seokmin, talking with their heads bowed; Mingyu with a pretty girl, laughing about something together.

Wonwoo isn’t sure what comes over him, but suddenly he’s ordering more drinks and angrily gulping them down. The fact that he cares enough to pinpoint Mingyu in the crowd, and keep watching him probably bugs him more than anything.

Eventually he feels totally done, and just wants to go home.

And so he does.

He half throws on his coat and steps outside.

The night feels way too dark, and the ground beneath him wobbles dangerously.

“Stupid Mingyu,” he mumbles incoherently as he walks. “Wouldn’t have to leave if it wasn’t for him.”

Everything around him feels muffled. He thinks he hears a voice calling out his name, but he just ignores it and eventually stops to lean against a dim lamppost.                         

A couple guys are standing next to him smoking and drinking. He looks at them warily. One of them meets his eyes and smirks.

“Whatcha looking at?”

Wonwoo quickly looks away. “Nothing.”

Another man lets out a harsh laugh and it hurts his ears. “I think he’s looking for some fun tonight,” he adds suggestively.

“Oh are you?” the man slyly smiles and walks up to him. “I am pretty bored...”

Wonwoo simply freezes when the man’s rough hands touch his arm. He hears more laughs from behind him and it feels like water is rushing into his ears. He suddenly wants to throw up, and everything feels like it’s going tip over.

The next couple seconds happen so quickly he isn’t exactly sure what’s going on. Suddenly, Mingyu is next to him and shoving the man away. He blinks in confusion.

“I was looking for you,” Mingyu says when he looks at Wonwoo. He has a dark look in his eyes and Wonwoo can’t really understand the expression. He looks angry?

“Let’s go.” Mingyu says through gritted teeth and he grips Wonwoo’s wrist. Wonwoo doesn’t even fight back and lets himself be dragged away.

After some minutes of half walking, half being dragged by Mingyu in silence, they finally stop. They’re in a park with a couple street lamps lighting the pathway.

“What on earth were you thinking?” Mingyu finally lets out and turns to face him. “Leaving on your own when you’ve been drinking? Do you know how worried Soonyoung was when he couldn’t find you?!”

Wonwoo stares at the ground. It’s still swaying slightly, but his head is finally clearing up. He kind of feels like a little like a kid being scolded for misbehaving or breaking something.

“I... um, I’ll text him.” He takes his phone out of his pocket and fumbles with it until Mingyu steadies his hands and takes the phone.

“I already did that.”

“Oh... ok.”

Mingyu stares at him, and his eyes seem to soften imperceptibly in the light of lamppost.

“My head hurts,” Wonwoo groans.

Mingyu sighs and leads him to a park bench where they sit. For a while, Wonwoo remains transfixed on the dead crumpled leaves that crackle and blow by in the night breeze.

Finally Mingyu breaks the silence and speaks. “That was really stupid you know that?”

“I- I can take care of myself,” Wonwoo mumbles, sounding like a small kid.

“Really? Because what would you have done against those assholes if I wasn’t there huh?”

“Dunno,” he whispers before staring at his feet and swinging them back and forth. He finally looks up at Mingyu whose eyes match his worried or concerned expression.

Mingyu’s eyes are somehow pretty.

“What did you say?”

Oh shit, did he actually say that out loud? Wonwoo wants to smack himself.

“Yo-your eyes are funny,” he lamely responds.

“Funny?”

“Yeah bro, what else?”

“Ok then.” Mingyu gives him a curious look. “Anyway, Wonwoo please don’t do something like that ever again, ok? You could’ve gotten really hurt.”

“You... you’re doing it again.” Wonwoo garbles unhappily and leans closer until the two are only a couple inches apart. “You act like this, b-but really it doesn’t mean anything does it? You just want to finish your job fast, and go back.”

Mingyu stares at him wordlessly.

“I know that’s kind of the point,” Wonwoo rambles on. “B-but it doesn’t mean I have to like it. You keep being nice to me, and I have to keep reminding myself that it’s only because you were put in this position and not because you actually...you know, want to get to know me. O-or that you even like me— as a person.”

“That’s not true,” Mingyu whispers, staring at the ground.

“Isn’t it though?” Wonwoo laughs bitterly, and he faintly feels wetness against his eyes. He quickly blinks it away before Mingyu can notice and curses in his head. Why does he become such a confused, emotional mess when he drinks? Frankly it's embarrassing, but now that he’s started he can’t stop. “C-cause otherwise, you would’ve asked before you tried to make that contract. But you were just trying to get things done.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what? Because I’m right?”

“Only half of it...” Mingyu looks up at the dark sky, as if there was anything to see in it. “You are partially right, because I did think that a bit. But I also...” Mingyu meets his eyes and seems to hesitate before brushing his words away. “Just, never mind....”

“Why do you keep doing that?” he frowns and pokes Mingyu’s cheeks. “What were you going to say?”

“Nothing. It’s not important.” Mingyu gets up with finality. “Here let’s get you home.”

Wonwoo bites his lips and shakes his head. “Don’t wanna.”

Mingyu groans. “Come on Wonwoo. We’re in a fucking freezing park at 11:30 in the night.”

“I like it out here. It’s cold. The cold feels good,” he fiddles with the sleeves of Mingyu’s coat.

“Yeah and that’s how you get sick!”

Wonwoo grumbles as Mingyu drags him onto his feet. “We’re leaving. No buts.”

“Fine whatever,” he huffs before quietly adding, “So is the um, bus gonna pick us up here?”

“Wonwoo the bus doesn’t come in the middle of the park.”

“R-right, it doesn’t.”

“Anyway, we’re not going to take the bus. We’re going to travel my way.”

“Your way?”

“Remember how I told you some of my abilities?”

“Yeah....” Wonwoo’s voice trails away before a light switch flicks on in his brain and he practically screams, “Wait we’re going to teleport?!”

“Oh my god, shush.” Mingyu tries to get him to calm down before he slides their hands together.

He looks up in surprise. Mingyu’s wide and calloused hands seem so natural against his, even though they really shouldn’t. His brain feels like it’s spinning again, and he can’t place this feeling. He really wants to throw up now.

“Alright, you don’t need to do anything. Just don’t let go ok?” Mingyu instructs.

“Mhmm kay,” he shakes his head, and takes a peek at Mingyu who has now closed his eyes and is muttering something.

Before he can question what’s he’s doing, a strange sensation squeezes his insides and it feels like something heavy is pressing against his head, amplifying his already existing headache.

***

Mingyu opens his eyes again. They’re standing in front of Wonwoo’s apartment now.

He turns to look at Wonwoo who stumbles beside him. “Woah there!” he exclaims, taking Wonwoo by the shoulders to keep him upright.

“I feel sick. Like really sick,” Wonwoo mumbles with little coherence. “Ya know, like the ‘think I’m gonna throw up’ kinda sick.”

Suddenly Mingyu remembers what he learned years back— the first time travelling like this can always give massive headaches. And considering how much alcohol Wonwoo had, Mingyu just added onto his headache. Oh god, why didn’t he think of this? How stupid could he be?

“Fuck ok,” he begins to panic. “Where are your apartment keys?”

Wonwoo fishes his keys from his back pocket and fumbles with them until Mingyu takes them from his hands and opens the room himself.

He takes Wonwoo’s hand and rushes him to the bathroom.

Of course someone throwing up isn’t a pretty sight, and as much as Mingyu wants to get out of the bathroom, he stays and pats Wonwoo’s back the whole time.

Eventually Wonwoo is sitting on the couch looking exhausted, and sipping on some water. He appears far more sober now— and sleepy.

When he sets the water away on the coffee table, his eyelids begin to droop.

Mingyu silently shifts over to sit beside him. “You should get to bed you know? You seem tired.”

“I will,” Wonwoo mumbles in response.                

“Are you feeling better?”

“I am.”

“That’s good... I um, I have to go soon ok?”

“Soon? When is soon?”

He glances at his watch, which reads 11:45. “I guess now actually...”

Mingyu sighs and gets up. He’s more or less out of time.

He leans down and smooths down Wonwoo’s wild and mussed up hair. “Take care of yourself. Drink lots of water and just sleep. I’m leaving now.”

Wonwoo looks up at him, a confused look in his eyes. “L-leaving?”

“Yeah.”

“To where?”

“Back where I came from.”

“Your hotel?”

“No. Where I’m originally from.”

“Oh.”

A dull, painful silence stretches between them now. Wonwoo’s eyes remain blank and look a bit lost.

“Why... why are you going back?” he finally asks, sounding more awake and clear. The alcohol felt like it was fading from his system since he threw up.

“Because my time is up.”

“Up?”

“A week ago I was told I had to create a contract with you within 7 days. 7 days will be up in about 15 minutes. I’m being taken off this position.”

There’s another stretch of silence, and Wonwoo visibly swallows. “So you’re leaving here. Forever.”

“I’ll probably be back for other jobs in a year or so. But yeah, we won’t see each other again,” Mingyu slowly explains. “I’m sorry again about what happened. I guess I got desperate because of the time restraint. Either way, I shouldn’t have done that.”

“O-oh...” Wonwoo stammers out.

“Anyway, just take care of yourself ok? Don’t die. Don’t do shit like what you did today ever again.”

Wonwoo doesn’t respond to any of that. Instead he looks down and quietly asks, “Is someone else going to replace your position?”

“Probably yes.” Even as he says those words, that hallow and foreign feeling in his chest returns full force. He had long since accepted that he was going to fail this job... so why did Wonwoo’s words from yesterday hurt so much? Why does leaving now hurt as well?

It’s only when Wonwoo looks up at him with his dark eyes wavering slightly in their place, that the answer hits him like a heavy weight.

“You could probably care less about me than a stranger would if it wasn’t for your job,” Wonwoo had said.

But that’s just it. It hurts because he actually does care. He cares what Wonwoo thinks about him. He cares if Wonwoo is sick, or hurt, or sad. He cares more than he should .

It’s like he’s under this spell he can’t escape— the kind where Wonwoo suddenly seems important than his actual task. So maybe that’s why it’s so hard for him to turn and walk away now.

But if it’s what he has to do, he’ll do it. No matter how much it hurts.

“Goodbye Wonwoo,” Mingyu says.

When Wonwoo doesn’t say anything back, Mingyu turns around to make his exit. Suddenly a pair of hands reach out to grip onto the edge of his sleeves.

“N-no. Don’t.” Wonwoo’s voice sounds wobbly.

There’s a single beat before Wonwoo speaks again.

“I... I want to make the contract with you.”

Mingyu spins back around in shock. “You what ?”

Wonwoo takes in a shaky breath and pulls Mingyu closer towards him.

“I want to make the contract. With you.”

“Wait what, why?” he asks in disbelief.

Wonwoo sighs and closes his eyes, speaking slowly. “I was actually going to agree to it since you told me about the contract... but then that whole thing happened, so I got angry.” He glances down to his lap now, still avoiding Mingyu’s eyes.

“B-but Soonyoung was right. Everybody has their reasons for doing things. I didn’t realize the pressure you were experiencing from your job. I’m sorry I didn’t try to listen to you.”

“It’s ok,” Mingyu quietly says. “No but really, how can you tell me this so suddenly?”

“I just...” Wonwoo sighs. “I thought about it, and if someone else is going to fill your position, it wouldn’t make any difference. I wouldn’t want to make you purposefully make you lose your job if someone else is going to replace you anyway.”

“Ok, but that someone else can be a person you can actually tolerate.”

Wonwoo looks at him directly now, eyes sharp and bright. “I can tolerate you.”

“You can?” he asks incredulously.

“Yes I can!” Wonwoo indignantly responds. “Why are you so surprised by this?”

“Well I thought you kind of hated me...”

“I don’t!”

“That’s good then,” Mingyu grins.

Wonwoo avoids his eyes and frowns. “Anyway, do you want to make the contract before it passes midnight or not?”

Mingyu glances down at the time to see that there are only about 10 minutes left. “Oh shit, yes please.”

“So, how do you do it?”

“All you need to do is stay still and calm ok?” he explains as he settles down beside Wonwoo again.

“Umm ok.”

“And I’ll just...” Mingyu somewhat hesitates before leaning closer and placing his hands on either side of Wonwoo’s temples.

Wonwoo blinks, looking at him with nervous eyes.

“Don’t worry,” Mingyu speaks gently. “Just close your eyes.”

He can’t help but remain momentarily transfixed by how uncharacteristic Wonwoo looks facing him— with his eyes fully closed, appearing so open and trusting. It’s so unlike the Wonwoo he’s used to encountering.

Mingyu takes a calming breath before he finally slips his eyes shut as well and lets himself sink into the inky pool of Wonwoo’s memories.

The memory starts the same as when he first saw it. He’s on a bridge where Wonwoo is getting beat up by some bullies. It hurts to simply watch, but Mingyu can’t do anything about it.

Eventually one of the guys takes Wonwoo’s bag and threatens to throw it out onto the water. This is all Mingyu had seen up until.

“Please don’t!” Wonwoo cries out, tears filling his eyes. “All my textbooks and notes are all in there and—”

The boys only laugh cruelly.

“Why don’t you just shut up? It would make you less annoying,” the guy grabbing Wonwoo’s arm snarls and kicks him to the ground.

“Awww,” the one who had been holding Wonwoo’s other arm mocks him. “Mister top student can’t be one without all his beautiful little notes can he?”

The boy dangling Wonwoo’s bag over the water finally sighs as though he’s terribly bored by this whole situation and flings the bag over the bridge despite Wonwoo’s begging.

The next couple seconds seem to happen in slow motion. One second the bag is in the air, another second there’s the back of boy with billowing blonde hair leaping right from the wooden ledge of the small bridge after the bag.

Another boy, this one being bubblegum pink haired, is suddenly on the bridge as well, shoving the guys away from Wonwoo even though he looks half their size. Wonwoo scrambles to his feet, only to turn around with a stunned expression and hear the unmistakable crunch of the pink haired boy’s fist smashing right against one of their noses.

The bullies seem to flee right then and there, and there’s a voice calling out from below the bridge. “Hey! Your books are ok!”

Mingyu slowly walks to glance over the bridge. The boy with the blonde hair that had jumped after the bag is... Soonyoung? Or at least a younger Soonyoung. His blonde hair looks wild and disheveled in the sunlight, and his crumpled mismatched buttoned shirt drips with water. He grins so brightly up at them, it makes his eyes disappear. He’s holding Wonwoo’s bag in his hands

Mingyu quickly glances back at the pink haired boy in disbelief.

It’s teenager Jihoon.

The small boy just leans against the bridge looking nonchalant as if he hadn’t just fought off three guys at once. He’s bleeding from his lips and cheeks. Jihoon sighs. “Then don’t just stand there! Bring it up.”

Wonwoo still looks like he’s in shock and fumbles with the bag once Soonyoung hands it to him.

“The outside is wet, but I picked it up before the water would seep inside,” Soonyoung explains.

Wonwoo thanks the two boys repeatedly as he furiously wipes away his tears until his face is not only bruised, but also blotchy.

Soonyoung laughs lightheartedly. “Hey, any good person would’ve stepped in, no need to thank us so much,” he gives Wonwoo a light pat. “By the way, I’m Soonyoung, and this is my friend Jihoon,” he gestures to Jihoon who maintains a blank expression as he plays with the tie that’s improperly slung around his neck.

Wonwoo attempts to smile, but it seems to hurt his face. “Um, I’m Jeon Wonwoo,” he mumbles looking at the ground. “I would say nice to meet you, but this situation is kind of um... weird...”

Soonyoung laughs loudly. “Right it is.”

Wonwoo turns to look at Jihoon, sniffling faintly. “I’m sorry you got hurt. I-I think I have band aids in my locker so y—”

Jihoon gives Wonwoo a sharp stare. “Ok how about you worry about yourself first? These are just tiny cuts,” he offhandedly gestures to himself. “I’ll live. You need to take care of your bruises before anything.”

“Jihoon’s right,” Soonyoung nods. “My house is close by, so we can treat it there. Are you fine coming with us? Or would you rather head to your own home?”

Wonwoo gulps nervously. Mingyu can see the anxiousness in his eyes and the way he shifts his weight back on forth on his feet. But at the same time, there’s something like relief flooding all of his features. “Y-yeah, I’d be fine with that. The first one.”

As the three starting walking and talking, he can see the way Wonwoo’s tense shoulders begin to relax. He even starts smiling and laughing a couple times along with Soonyoung (before immediately wincing from his bruises).

Mingyu’s heartbeat slows down. The sun seems to shine a little brighter, and deep red maple leaves continue floating down around them from the trees.

Mingyu lifts his hands in the air as he watches the retreating backs of the three boys on the dirt pathway. He takes a deep breath and catches a single falling leaf in his palm and closes his eyes. Slowly all the autumn leaves around him begin to blur.

When he pockets the leaf and turns away from the scene, his surroundings dissolve back to their original dark blue. He’s about to pull himself back into consciousness, having finished creating the contract as he set out to do, but something stops him in his tracks.

Something feels off...

Mingyu somehow senses the presence of a light of coming from within Wonwoo’s memories.

He squints in confusion and lets himself sink deeper into the inky deep blue pool. His throat goes dry when he gets closer to what he first presumed was a light. Really it isn’t a light at all, but rather a gigantic area in the dark pool that’s a pure blinding white. It’s as though somebody had just stepped in and scooped out anything that previously existed here, erasing it to absolutely nothing.

Before Mingyu can analyze the sight any further he is sitting back in Wonwoo’s apartment, his hands still holding his temples. He let’s both his hands drop and Wonwoo gently opens his eyes.

“W-well?” Wonwoo nervously asks.

“I made the contract,” Mingyu nods. There’s a beat of silence before he slowly says, “Your happiest memory was when you met Jihoon and Soonyoung?”

Maybe the question embarrasses Wonwoo because his cheeks go pink and he pulls his knees up to his chest. “Yes,” he quietly whispers.

Mingyu now can’t stop a smile from spreading across his face, and stretching impossibly wide.

Wonwoo, who suddenly appears awfully interested in the hem of his shirt, takes a tiny peek at him before scowling. “Stop looking at me like that!”

“Huh? Looking at you like what?” he grins.

“Being all smiley and shit,” Wonwoo mumbles.

“Can’t help it,” Mingyu hums in response with a light feeling fluttering away in his heart.

“Shut up.”

“Oh come on, I think it’s cute!”

“Don’t say that,” Wonwoo grumbles burying his face in his knees.

“Hey,” Mingyu lifts Wonwoo’s head, patting his cheeks. “I’ve heard that some people’s happiest memories are really stupid— so I think it’s nice that yours is something like this you know? It speaks to your character.”

Wonwoo nods, the pinkish tinge to his face deepening before he clears his throat, clearly wanting to change the topic, “Anyway... what part of the memory did you take?”

Mingyu chuckles, thinking about the red autumn leaves, “Not allowed to tell you that.”

“Oh, right...”

He looks at Wonwoo a bit longer, thinking back to that void in his memories. He debates with himself for a while before concluding that it was too important to not mention.

“Wonwoo.” He pauses, gathering his words carefully. “I think there’s something you should know.”

Wonwoo lifts his head curiously to meet his gaze. “Hm?”

“In your memories... there’s this area... that’s totally erased.”

“What?” He now has Wonwoo’s full attention and sharp stare on him.

“It’s a little hard to explain but basically, every person’s memory has a colour,” Mingyu slowly explains. “Your memories are all indigo, but there’s this space in there that’s completely white; it's like a void. I think those are erased memories.”

Wonwoo gulps. “O-oh.”

“Have you ever felt like you were missing memories?”

Wonwoo looks down. “Not really...” he seems to think a bit more. “Well now that you mention it... no, I don’t know,” Wonwoo sighs.

“Well have you ever felt like you were missing something ?”

Wonwoo stares at him and chuckles. “Yeah my soulmate mark.”

“No! Before 18 years old... anything at all?”

“W-well kind of. I dunno,” Wonwoo mumbles. “I never had any close friends growing up until I met Soonyoung and Jihoon. I always did feel sort of... empty. Mainly started when I hit middle school. It was probably because of my lack of friends.”

“What was it like for you in middle school?”

“I had to move to a small town in the countryside, for um, family reasons.”

“Oh?” Mingyu looks at him curiously and can see that there is a lot more to it.

“Ok, uh, wait here. I’ll show you something,” Wonwoo gets up from the couch and disappears to his room.

He comes back moments later with a spiral bound notebook with a papery brown cover.

He settles down next to Mingyu and gives him the notebook. The notebook immediately feels strange in his hands, and Mingyu can’t quite understand why. He brushes those thoughts away and opens it. He can see that the book is filled with sketches of different sceneries. There are grassy hills, flowers, waterfalls, and more. Going further through the book there seems to be endless of drawings of the stars, skies, comets, planets and more.

“I’ve owned this notebook for so long. But that’s the thing...” Wonwoo hesitates, “I— I don’t know how I got it. I don’t even know when it came into my possession.”

“When was the first time you can realized this?”

“It was sometime back in middle school. I don’t remember what grade exactly. But I remember one day just flipping through it, and suddenly I realized I couldn’t remember where I got it. I tried hard to remember but I couldn’t. And then I realized I don’t know when I got it either.”

“Are you sure it’s not just yours?”

Wonwoo laughs at that. “I can’t draw to save my life.”

Mingyu looks back down at the book and stares long and hard at some of the sketches. The notebook feels so... it’s like something heavy is suddenly weighing his heart. He immediately snaps the book shut and Wonwoo noticeably jumps.

“You.... you ok?” Wonwoo is looking at him wearily.

Mingyu parts his lips to speak, but suddenly it’s like the words in his mouth are being pushed back down and suffocating him. He doesn’t even know what he wants to say anymore.

“Y-yeah, I’m good,” he recovers quickly and hands the notebook back to Wonwoo.

“Do you think this book is a part of my lost memories?”

“It seems likely,” Mingyu nods.

Wonwoo yawns, “Do you think there’s any way for me to retrieve those memories?”

Mingyu thinks about this. “Maybe,” he finally answers. “But it requires some more thought, and you look really sleepy, so how about we talk about this tomorrow ok?”

“Ok,” Wonwoo rubs his eyes tiredly and gets up to head to his bedroom. “Night Mingyu.” He’s about to turn away, but hesitates before turning back around. “Thank you,” he adds.

Mingyu wants to ask ‘for what?’ but thinks better of it and only nods his head. “Goodnight.”  ˚ 　　

✵ 

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Chapter Text

Wonwoo wakes up the next day to an empty house.

He looks over to his phone and thinks it wouldn't hurt to text Mingyu considering what happened last night. He hesitates before hitting send, but goes for it anyway.

To: Kim Mingyu

Morning <

As expected, Mingyu replies within a couple minutes.

From: Kim Mingyu

> Morning! ^^

> have you eaten breakfast yet?

Mingyu sends him a sticker of a Pusheen the kitten yawning.

To: Kim Mingyu

I just woke up <

From: Kim Mingyu

> it’s like 11 o.o

> what

To: Kim Mingyu

Mingyu it’s the weekend <

I sleep in <

From: Kim Mingyu

> it’s so nice outside though *^*

> why don’t you take a morning walk or something

To: Kim Mingyu

Are you crazy? <

I wouldn’t do that even in the summer <

From: Kim Mingyu

> you’re so lazy ><

To: Kim Mingyu

Shut up <

Not everyone can be you ok <

From: Kim Mingyu

> lol I guess 😂

> are you still thinking about what I told you yesterday?

To: Kim Mingyu

Yes <

From: Kim Mingyu

> ok I gave it some thought and I thought about what I could do

> to help I mean

To: Kim Mingyu

Oh, what is it? <

From: Kim Mingyu

> it’s easier to explain in person

> do you have time today?

Wonwoo has a lot of work to complete, but he figures if he gets more done now, he can make room for a few hours in the evening.

To: Kim Mingyu

Um yes, around 8 <

Does that work? <

From: Kim Mingyu

> yeah of course

> i’ll see you then!

To: Kim Mingyu

Ok bye <

Mingyu ends off the conversation by sending him more stickers. Wonwoo is getting pretty used to his excessive sticker sending habit, and isn’t sure if that’s a good thing or not.

He feels impatient and slightly distracted for the rest of the day, even as he’s trying to finish work. He’s curious about his lost memories... but more than that, he's kind of looking forward to seeing Mingyu.

What has gotten into him?

When Mingyu does show up that evening, instead of immediately going into discussion about his memories like Wonwoo expects, they end up hanging out and playing video games. Mingyu isn’t that good, but it’s still fun to play with him.

They’re sitting on the carpet with their backs against the sofa, playing old Nintendo games when Mingyu declares that the one who wins the current round wins the ‘whole thing’.

Wonwoo is pretty much crushing Mingyu throughout the round, when suddenly Mingyu leans over and pushes him down to the carpet with his side.

“Hey!” he yells, losing the controller from his hands.

“I’m going to win!” Mingyu deviously cackles as he uses his side to pin Wonwoo down while he continues playing the game.

“Mingyu you piece of shit, get off of me!” Wonwoo yells out, unable to hold back laughter in between his protests. He squirms underneath, trying to push Mingyu off of him, but the big moron is simply too heavy.

The game ends with Mingyu as the victor.

“I won, I won,” he singsongs sticking his tongue out at Wonwoo.

“You didn’t win. You cheated.”

“Yeah, whatever you say.”

“You brat.” Wonwoo tackles him and starts tickling Mingyu.

“No stop! Sto—” Mingyu is bursting out peals of laughter, thrashing around as Wonwoo holds him down and continues tickling. “Please. Stop! Don’t!”

“Only if you admit that you cheated and I’m the rightful winner,” Wonwoo laughs.

“Ok o- you win! I cheated,” Mingyu gasps out between laughs.

Wonwoo finally stops tickling. “Good.”

“Wow, how can you put me through this kind of torture?” Mingyu breathes heavily when he finally gets up, still laughing a little.

“It’s what cheaters deserve,” he simply says with a grin, before he gets up to turn off the gaming console and TV.

Mingyu quickly straightens up and asks with a serious look, “Do you want to hear my idea regarding your lost memories now?”

Wonwoo plops down beside him. “Yeah, it’s what you came here to do after all.”

“Ok so, um,” Mingyu licks his lips and stares at the ceiling in thought. “Vespers study this only a little in school, but I did some reading last night...”

“And?”

“And basically, if you can find the roots of why or where you may have lost the memory, through some um, special methods, we might be able to get you to recall them.”

“Special methods?”

“Yeah... but don’t worry about that for now— that’s like the third step.”

“So what’s the first step?”

“Ok that’s the thing; for me to be able to do this, you have to let me see all your important memories from your childhood.”

“All of them?” Wonwoo gulps.

“Yes,” Mingyu nods. “That’s how I can scan them for ‘disturbances’ as you can call them— basically places where I sense that you’re missing information that you should have.”

“Oh ok...” Wonwoo’s voice trails off with a nervous feeling in his stomach. Letting Mingyu see most, if not all of his memories, was a little...

Wonwoo doesn’t know if he’s capable of this kind of trust with someone. He even kept parts of his childhood from Soonyoung and Jihoon in the first two or three years of their friendship. He’s known Mingyu for a measly month and a half.

Wonwoo slowly looks up at Mingyu who’s watching him with firm but gentle eyes.

No. But Mingyu is a different story. He can’t really compare this situation with his other friends.

For one, he's a vesper, and probably knew ample information about Wonwoo before he even approached him. Plus, Mingyu’s job is to help Wonwoo right? So if Wonwoo’s missing memories were connected with his soulmate in any way, then this would be important for both of them.

Besides, when else would he get this chance? For as long as Wonwoo could remember, he had flipped through that sketchbook so wistfully. This might be his only chance to find the owner.

“Do you want to do it?” Mingyu carefully asks him. “I’ll just be looking at the important bits.”

“Yes.” Wonwoo finally responds.

“Really? Are you sure? You—”

“I’m sure Mingyu.”

“Alright...” Mingyu responds. “Do you want to do it right now?”

“Yes, let’s just get this over with.” Wonwoo exhales.

“Ok.”

Mingyu is leaning against the foot of the sofa when he gently takes him by the wrist and guides Wonwoo to sit closer in front of him. He spreads apart his knees that are propped up, and pulls Wonwoo between them.

Wonwoo can feel his heart beat quicken just like it did yesterday when Mingyu was making the contract. He’s about to let Mingyu scour through his mind— something about this situation is oddly intimate.

“Calm down,” Mingyu whispers, because of course he can sense Wonwoo’s nervousness.

Yeah, calm down Wonwoo. It’s not as if you’re basically laying out everything about yourself for this vesper to see. No big deal.

Wonwoo eventually manages to take steadying breaths before he feels the gentle press of Mingyu’s palms against his temples.

Then slowly all of his senses dissolve away, and it’s as though he’s slipping into a dream.

Wonwoo had a particularly isolated upbringing. He supposes at least at one point in time, he did have a family who looked after him. But by the time he was five or so his mother had moved onto the afterlife, and his father was suddenly too busy running his big company– the Soulmate Service– to spare him a glance; so the people that raised him were in fact the caretakers of his house.

Due to his father’s status, he was homeschooled rather than being sent to daycare and kindergarten unlike most children. He essentially didn’t have any experience socializing or even talking with other kids from the time he could crawl, to when he was six, seven years old.

Instead, he had fun by himself. He would spend days sitting around playing with the bugs and critters from the acres of land called his backyard, and making up fun stories with the countless of toys and dolls given to him.

It was only when Wonwoo was nine, and his caretakers and private teachers must have been worried to all hell about the fact that he had spent his childhood isolated from other children, that they somehow convinced his father to send him to a public school.

Most of his years in elementary school were lonely. At first he had no idea how to make friends with the other children. Overtime, even when he pushed himself to try and talk to the other boys in his class, none of them seemed to like him. When other kids were eager to set up play dates, no one would ask him to come along. Maybe they thought he was stuck-up because of his rich family status, or that he was weird or stupid, especially because he stuttered so much when he spoke.

Now other than the fact that he struggled to socialize, Wonwoo could never exactly say he lived a difficult life. He was pretty well off for the most part.

But that changed real fast.

Around when he was eleven, his father’s company had a massive clash with the Celestial Agency. Wonwoo was too young to understand the details at the time, but he did understand that there were reportedly huge amounts of corruption polluting the Soulmate Service due to the agency.

However, when the matter was brought to court, Wonwoo’s father and his company suffered the biggest losses, while the Celestial Agency somehow got out of it scot-free. The Soulmate Service went bankrupt overnight and Wonwoo’s family lost everything from their car, to their house. They even struggled to buy groceries .

The lawsuit also managed to open a lot of locked away secrets for Wonwoo. He discovered rumors that his mother committed suicide out of loneliness, because her husband was too busy running his big company and was never around for her.

Ironic wasn’t it? The man’s soulmate killed herself because he was too busy taking care of other people’s soulmates.

But even then, it was a lose-lose situation. Wonwoo’s father chose his job over his wife; and then he lost his job, leaving him with nothing. He still had Wonwoo of course— but why would he start caring about him now , when he had ignored Wonwoo’s existence ever since his mother died?

After the lawsuit, Wonwoo would come back home everyday to the tiny apartment their relatives helped them rent, to see his father moping about, drunk. He simply couldn’t pick himself back up.

Wonwoo tried everything he could to get his father’s attention. He would get the best grades, win countless of academic awards, and so on— but nothing made him look up at Wonwoo. In fact, most nights he spent them alone in the apartment because his father was probably out drinking and gambling somewhere.

Middle school rolled around and Children Services made Wonwoo move away and live with his aunt and uncle to a small town in the countryside. His father was deemed ‘unfit to take care of him’ (which they really weren’t wrong about).

Wonwoo wasn’t sure if he missed his father— because despite him giving zero shits about Wonwoo, his father was still his father. Or if he was just relieved to get away.

Middle school was a lot worse for Wonwoo. Despite having no friends in Elementary school, at least he had been familiar with everyone, but now his socializing issues had reached a new height. Every time he tried to talk with others and make new friends, he physically couldn’t — his would clam up, his stomach would twist into knots, and he felt like throwing up.

On top of that, there were the concerned teachers at parent-teacher interviews explaining to his bored looking uncle that Wonwoo hardly ever spoke with his classmates, and that it was “strange”.

High school started, and once again Wonwoo had to move— this time back to the city and right in the middle of sophomore year. Classes passed in a blur, and he would find himself skipping most of them.

He completed an enriched school program with ease, simply studying all the material for his exams straight from the textbook in the library, rather than sitting in the classroom on uncomfortable chairs and being subject to the harsh judgmental faces of his teachers and classmates.

Maybe it was because of this isolation that made the assholes in his grade all the more aware of his lonely presence. He spent most of junior year being pushed around by a couple guys from his grade. He never fought back though. Even when they shoved him against the lockers, he maintained the expressionless face he had learned to master over the years, and only sat down and cried a little once they left.

It was at the beginning of senior year, when the same guys continued picking on him, that he met Soonyoung and Jihoon. Wonwoo could safely say, he had never enjoyed school as much in his life before he met those two. Jihoon took a lot more time to warm up to, but Soonyoung became his closest friend immediately.

He spent most of senior year with these two, and things finally started looking up for him when he was granted a big scholarship to the university of his choice.

It was also around the end of senior year that Soonyoung convinced him to go see a therapist for his “people issues” as they liked to call it. He couldn’t exactly say he was thrilled to have the label of ‘social anxiety’ stamped across his face— but overtime he grew to accept it and went to therapy sessions all through first year of uni, and part of second year until he felt like he could manage on his own.

It’s not as if he became a completely new and improved Wonwoo through those years, but it definitely helped him get better. And even if he still fell back into his old bad ways on multiple days, he still somehow managed to make a few friends on his own in university.

If Wonwoo looked back on it, he would realize that senior year was pretty much the turning point in his life in many different ways. It was also the year where no soulmate mark appeared on his skin.

And that eventually brought him to Kim Mingyu.

***

Mingyu stares at Wonwoo with wide blinking eyes, unable to say anything. “Oh,” is all he’s able to get out.

“Oh?”

Mingyu looks down at his lap before quietly asking. “Is this why you didn’t want anything to do with me when we first met?”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

Mingyu furrows his brows. Why on earth was the fact about Wonwoo’s father being the former CEO of the Soulmate Service not on the information files he had received?

“Y-your father...”

“Oh the thing with the Celestial Agency?” Wonwoo shrugs. “I told you it was nothing personal.”

Mingyu sighs and shakes his head. “Still, I just want to tell you that you don’t need to worry about that anymore. I was really young when that happened... b-but I heard that the Vespers that committed those crimes were all kicked out. Now, the executive committee is all really trustworthy. Jeonghan wouldn’t have anything otherwise.”

“Jeonghan?”

“The current head.”

“I see,” Wonwoo nods. “That’s good. Well either way, I decided to trust you because putting aside the agency you worked for, you seemed like an okay person.”

Mingyu smiles at that. Did Wonwoo just subtly compliment him?

“So...” Wonwoo looks at him expectantly which knocks him out of his stupor.

“Oh yeah,” he quickly answers. “I couldn’t find a single disturbance, other than that notebook. Like there’s no other place where I could sense you were missing important information.”

Wonwoo frowns. “Really?”

“Yeah...” he murmurs. Wonwoo’s memories were really strange in that regard. If there was such a huge section of his memories that were blank, then he should’ve easily found something missing or wrong, but he didn’t . It really didn’t make much sense.

“Sorry Wonwoo,” Mingyu sighs.

“It’s ok,” Wonwoo responds, clearly not trying to show his disappointment though Mingyu can see it anyway.

“Thank you for trying.”

***

“Wonwoo! I need help,” A frantic Mingyu can be heard over his phone at 8 am on a Saturday morning.

“Ok calm down,” He responds with a yawn. “First of all, what do you need help with?” (Wonwoo also makes a mental note to smack the kid next time they meet for waking him up from his beauty sleep on the weekend).

“I’m going to go destitute soon!”

“What?”

“My boss just told me they’re running low on money and my hotel room is sucking up everything so I’m going to be kicked out soon!”

“Well you’ve been living in a hotel for like more than a month now,” Wonwoo rolls his eyes. “What do you expect?”

He suppresses the ‘dumbass’ on the tip of his tongue, not because he feels more kind today (no, in fact he’s pretty damn grouchy in the mornings), but because Mingyu sounds worried as all hell.

“I didn’t even think about it!” Mingyu practically sobs at the other end. “The agency takes care of all my payments. I need a job like right now!”

“A job huh,” Wonwoo murmurs. “Ok look, I’ll ask at my workplace if there are any openings. In the meantime, you should literally walk around and look for hiring signboards. There are a lot of places looking to hire at my campus.”

“But Wonwooooo,” Mingyu whines and it makes him want to hang up right there. Is this what finally reaching a friendship base with Mingyu feels like? He almost wishes he never reached it. “It’s so cold!”

“Then enjoy being destitute,” Wonwoo curtly replies, ready to hang up.

“Ok wait! No, don’t hang up!” Maybe looking through a phone connection is one of Mingyu’s abilities too. “Can you come with me?”

Wonwoo sighs.

“Please!” Mingyu begs. “I really don’t know the campus grounds well and you obviously do. So you know...”

Which is why an hour later Mingyu is at his door wearing a long beige coat and black turtleneck, looking like he just stepped out of the front cover of ‘Men’s fashion magazine, advertising all the latest fall 2018 fashion!’ and Wonwoo is grumbling while pulling on his old jacket and scarf. “Wow the things I do for you.”

“You’re great,” Mingyu happily agrees.

Wonwoo rolls his eyes and leads the way.

Mingyu seems be jotting down any of the numerous cafes, pizza parlors and convenience stores littered around campus that are hiring. As Wonwoo thought, there are a good number of them. 

“This is where I work,” Wonwoo points out as they pass a cozy looking bookstore just outside of campus grounds, named ‘The Bookshelf’. There are popular books along with stuffed toys, fairy lights and fake snowflakes decorating the display.

“It looks cute,” Mingyu says brightly glancing at him with a tiny smile. “Suits you.”

Wonwoo squints-slash-glares at him. Is Mingyu saying that him working at a bookstore suits him? Or that the bookstore looks cute, and that why it suits him?

Only the first one was acceptable in Wonwoo’s books.

“You know, it’s fall... why on earth are there Christmas decorations everywhere already? I hate it,” Wonwoo grumbles.

“Well I like it!” Mingyu cheerily responds. “It’s so festive, and happy, it makes me happy! Don’t you just love the holiday season?”

If Wonwoo were younger he would’ve answered no— he hated the holidays.

Wonwoo’s holiday seasons as a kid pretty much went like this: when he was living in a rich household, his caretakers tried to make him happy with an endless pile of presents and yummy food; when he was living in a poor household, he just stayed home alone playing video games as his father was out, doing god knows what on Christmas Eve. Both those kinds of holidays were very different, but elicited the same feeling from Wonwoo— it was a lonely, empty kind of feeling.

And every year, he wished for the same thing, but it was never granted. And so, Wonwoo stopped wishing. He stopped wishing for his father to actually be there with him in the holidays. And stopped wishing for them to eat dinner together, exchange gifts, and basically do all the mushy stuff families do during that time of year.

This was probably why he hated his birthdays too. His birthday wishes were never granted either.

It was only after he met Jihoon and Soonyoung, that he stopped completely hating these occasions.

“I like the holiday season when it’s actually the holiday season and not the middle of fall,” Wonwoo simply answers.

“Hmp! You’re no fun,” Mingyu childishly sticks his tongue out at him. In response Wonwoo lightly bumps into Mingyu with his side.

This only ensues a match of them pushing each other back and forth as they’re walking on the sidewalk. It’s generally all playful, but maybe Mingyu isn’t watching himself because Wonwoo nearly tumbles onto the road at one point.

“Woah!” Mingyu quickly grabs his arm. “Sorry,” he sheepishly smiles pulling Wonwoo closer towards him.

It takes Wonwoo a solid 2 minutes to realize that Mingyu hasn’t moved his hands away and is keeping them lightly on his arms.

He wants to pull away, but something keeps him from doing so. Maybe it’s the warmth that radiates so easily from Mingyu that keeps Wonwoo so drawn to him.

“Hey Wonwoo...”

“Huh, what?” He looks up, snapping himself out of thoughts about how Mingyu is being really clingy, and standing too close, and how bothersome it all is, but also...

“Are the rooms in the apartment building you live in cheap?” Mingyu asks.

“Oh... right, you need a place to stay now right?”

“Yeah. I figured I could rent an apartment.”

“But Mingyu, you don’t even have furniture,” Wonwoo frowns in thought. “Buying all that stuff just to temporarily live there is such a waste.”

“True but, what else would I really do? I don’t think I could room or even be dorm mates with strangers without blowing away, you know...”

Wonwoo had been thinking about this since the moment Mingyu called him today, but is only brave enough to voice it now. He looks down at his feet, speaking quickly and quietly, “Um you’re free to stay at my place. Like, you can have the futon. In the living room. And just pay some of the rent. But I mean, I’ll get it if you don’t want to because you won’t have privacy and stuff, but it’s just one sug—”

“Wait, really?” Mingyu interjects with wide, bright eyes.

“Well yeah... I’m offering this, why would I—”

All at once Wonwoo is being engulfed into Mingyu’s arms. He feels so tiny in his embrace due to their difference in height. And just the fact that Wonwoo is practically a stick while Mingyu has actual muscles , what?

“Oh my god,” Mingyu mumbles into his jacket. “You’re actually a life saver. And a money saver. Thank you so so soooo much.”

Wonwoo awkwardly clears his throat. “Y-yeah, um, no problem.” He’s pretty sure his face rivals a tomato at this point, and he just wants Mingyu to get off of him.

Goddammit, why did this kid need to be so touchy? At least he had grown used to Soonyoung’s clinginess over the years— but no, Mingyu makes him feel different from what he’s ever felt with Soonyoung...

There was an ingredient of annoyance with both; but one made his heart do funny things, and the other didn’t.

He tries not to think too much about it.

***

That night, Mingyu dreams. In his dream, he gets his first vision of who or where Wonwoo’s soulmate might be.

He sees many areas of the university Wonwoo goes to, weaving in and out of the lecture halls, staircases, cafeterias and more.

When it all fades to black, Mingyu stares at the ceiling, eyes open, and blinking awake.

Wonwoo’s soulmate.... goes to the same university as him?

·   　 　 　 ✹
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Chapter Text

The following week, Mingyu wheels his suitcase into the building Wonwoo lives in, like a normal human.

He’s kind of exhausted between looking for a job, talking with management about his whereabouts and financial issues, and trying to get a more specific location on Wonwoo’s soulmate. All of this means that he really has no energy to expend right now, and so his powers are on a break too.

Anyway, he enters the lobby of the apartment probably looking like a tired mess, which at this point he doesn’t even care about. There’s only one person in the lobby other than himself, and they’re surrounded by countless of cardboard boxes. At first Mingyu pays no attention to them as he’s waiting for his elevator; however he can’t help but begin to warily eye the person as they try to balance like ten boxes in their arms.

He’s about to turn away and enter the elevator that now opens for him, when said person suddenly careens towards him with the pile of boxes in their arms and Mingyu immediately drops his suitcase and rushes to steady them. “Woah there!”

It’s thanks to him that the tower of boxes don't come tumbling down. Mingyu quickly removes some of them from the person’s arm and sets them down on the floor.

A young man, around Wonwoo’s height, (and probably as skinny as him too) blinks back at him with owlish eyes. He quickly puts the rest of the boxes down.

“Thank you.”

“No problem,” Mingyu laughs. “You know, it might not be such a good idea to try and carry this much at once.”

The guy chuckles sheepishly, though his eyes remain sharp. “Yeah you’re right. Didn’t know what I was thinking.”

“Are you moving in here?” Mingyu asks curiously.

“Yeah...” he responds nodding his head.

Mingyu bites his lips— that was an awful lot of boxes and stuff for merely one person to carry.

He doesn’t know what comes over him but he’s suddenly offering out his hand. “My name is Mingyu, I’m moving in here as well,” he smiles.

The guy looks timid before breaking out into a gentle smile shaking his hand. “Oh I see, my name is Minghao.”

“Do you need help with the boxes? It just seems like a lot for one person to handle.”

Minghao stares at him somewhat sharply, as if surprised by the offer, before carefully responding, “My dad was actually supposed to help me move in, but he’s stuck in traffic... so as long as it doesn’t trouble you, sure.”

“I won’t be troubled,” Mingyu says with a shrug, ignoring the fact that he was feeling dead tired only a couple minutes ago. “I really don’t mind.”

“You sure?” Minghao looks at him, a hesitant quality slipping over him.

“Yeah of course! Just hang on, I gotta put my luggage away first, and I’ll come back down,” Mingyu explains, pointing to his suitcases.

“Oh you don’t need to do this if you’re preoccu—”

He waves his hands trying to tell him it’s fine as he steps into the elevator.

“Thank you,” Minghao quietly responds with a nod of his head.

When he reaches the apartment Wonwoo greets him with that typical blank face he seems to like using whenever he sees Mingyu at his door.

He’s in a big oversized sweater and sweats paired with fuzzy socks, and Mingyu is tempted to ask him why he looks like he’s about to head to bed when it’s only eight. But this is probably what Wonwoo likes to wear on a day-to-day basis at home anyway.

“You brought your stuff?” Wonwoo asks, pushing up his round specs with his sweater sleeves draped over his fingers, and leans down as if to inspect his bags.

“Yep. Um, before I unpack or anything, I have to go for a bit ok?”

“Did you forget something?” Wonwoo tilts his head questioningly, his glasses drooping slightly down his nose.

“No nothing like that! It’s just that there’s this guy downstairs who’s moving in right now. And he was struggling to bring his boxes up on his own, so I offered to help.”

Wonwoo gives him a weird look. “You offered to help a random stranger move in?”

“Well, he could have suffered a concussion spiralling through the building with those boxes if I didn’t stop him, so yes.” Mingyu blows out his cheeks. “I was just trying to be nice.”

Wonwoo gives him another look, but this time it’s softer. He looks like he wants to say something, and hesitates before finally asking, “Ok well... do you want help?”

“Huh?”

“I could help carry the boxes as well. If three of us work, it’ll probably be faster.”

Wow, Wonwoo was actually offering his service, when 3 seconds ago he looked at Mingyu like he grew two heads? Mingyu grins with satisfaction. “Only if you want to help, then yeah.”

The two head downstairs and Wonwoo quickly introduces himself. They learn that Minghao is a second year, and a literature major like Wonwoo. H recently transferred to the same university, which is why he's getting his new apartment here. 

Minghao a man of few words like Wonwoo, but still far easier to converse with, Mingyu concludes. He gives very curt responses, but seems interested enough in the conversation and asks his own questions as well— enough for Mingyu to continue talking with him.

Wonwoo is mainly quiet throughout the exchange, only adding a couple comments here and there, but he keeps giving Minghao strange side-glances and looks that Mingyu can’t quite understand.

“Hey, have we actually met before?” Wonwoo eventually blurts out.

Minghao glances at him with a shrug. “I don’t think so... maybe you just saw me around campus?”

Wonwoo doesn’t seem satisfied with that answer but nods his head anyway. “Maybe,” he mumbles.

“Hey you live on the same floor as us,” Mingyu remarks as they step out of the elevator. He feels like he’s walking up to Wonwoo’s apartment when he realizes he is actually walking straight up to it. They’re getting closer and closer when Minghao stops in front of the door right before Wonwoo’s apartment.

Wonwoo and Mingyu glance at each other in surprise.

“Well this is it.” Minghao pushes the door open. The place already has a couple furniture, but lacks well... stuff, which is what’s in the boxes. “What’s wrong?” Minghao asks with a curious gaze when he turns around and looks at their faces.

There’s a second of silence before Mingyu bursts out laughing, and at the same time Wonwoo explains to him, “We’re neighbours.”

Minghao’s mouth turns into an ‘o’ shape out of surprise. He leans back out of the apartment and asks, “Which one is yours?”

“The one on the left.”

“Well that’s a coincidence,” he remarks, and there’s a pleased smile across his lips.

“Nice guy,” Mingyu offhandedly remarks back in Wonwoo’s apartment, once they’ve brought all the boxes up. 

“Mhm,” Wonwoo mumbles back in response.

The two stand and stare at each other in silence for a couple seconds before Wonwoo looks away and clears his throat. “Anyway, I’ll leave you to unpack,” he says, and disappears into his room.

Mingyu sighs and ruffles his hair. Why was Wonwoo so... awkward ?

This whole time Mingyu had been genuinely trying to be casual and friendly with him, but his gestures only resulted in Wonwoo going as stiff as a board and smiling as if it hurt his face to do so, or sometimes even going red in the face. Was Mingyu really that difficult for him to maintain a friendly relationship with?

But then again, maybe that awkward exterior was what added to his cuteness?

Mingyu internally cringes at that thought. He should really quit with those thoughts while he’s ahead. He tries to ignore his twisting turning mind as he folds his clothes and puts them into the closet Wonwoo had cleared for him.

***

Wonwoo slowly gets adjusted to living with Mingyu. They really don’t see much of each other on weekdays, as Wonwoo spends most of his time after classes at the library with Jihoon, and then when he gets home in the evenings, Mingyu always seems busy going out for who knows what.

Still, when Wonwoo drags himself out of bed early on Saturday morning for work he immediately notices that Mingyu isn’t there. He tries to pay no mind to it and quickly gets ready for his shift.

When he arrives and signs in (thankfully right on time) he goes about organizing and shelving new arrivals as per usual, and greeting customers. Around five hours into his shift he gets an unexpected surprise.

He’s standing up on his tiptoes, trying to place a novel at the top of one of the shelves hidden at the back of the store, when he feels a warm presence against his back and a long tan hand reaches over him to easily place the book on the shelf.

He quickly turns around to see Mingyu right in front of him.

“Hey,” he greets Wonwoo cheerily, a lazy smile tugging on his lips.

“What are you doing here?” Wonwoo asks plainly, immediately wondering if his bluntness comes across as rude. Mingyu doesn’t seem to mind though and answers without batting an eye.

“I just finished an interview for a job nearby. Thought I’d drop by and see you,” he shrugs.

“Oh, I see... how’d the interview go?”

He actually wants to ask why the hell Mingyu would want to see him, but holds his tongue and turns sideways to continue shelving books.

“Pretty good.”

“That’s good,” Wonwoo murmurs.

He eventually has to stretch up to put another book on the upper shelf, and Mingyu once again steps beside him and reaches along his arm to put it into place for him.

Wonwoo frowns. “I’m perfectly capable of doing this on my own you know?”

“I know,” Mingyu grins. “But your legs are so tiny and you keep having to go on your tiptoes.”

“My legs are not tiny! I’m a decent height ok,” Wonwoo whispers back with a scowl. “It’s just because you’re a giant!”

“Which makes you tiny to me,” Mingyu smiles teasingly as he follows him to the next aisle.

Wonwoo can’t help but shoot him a glare for being such a pest... to which Mingyu nonchalantly takes out a bag of gummies and starts popping them in his mouth. And then he starts being really obnoxious and just stares at Wonwoo who’s trying really hard to focus on shelving books.

Eventually he can’t take it anymore, and he just whirls around and hisses. “Can you stop staring at me. I’m trying to finish my work.”

“What? Are you bothered by my amazing presence that much?” Mingyu drawls out his words, his eyes dancing with amusement.

Wonwoo’s scowl deepens, “I swear you’re so anno—”

Suddenly a gummy is being pushed against his lips, and Wonwoo is munching on the sweet flavourful jelly. This effectively shuts him up for a couple seconds.

“The white ones are my favourite,” Mingyu says with a smile.

By the time Wonwoo swallows, his annoyance has dissipated into exasperation. Somehow Mingyu eating gummy bears while purposefully annoying him is so childish... and so like Mingyu that it only makes Wonwoo think of one word: endearing.

Oh god. Why? He immediately tries to shake free of those thoughts.

He sighs. “Ok Mingyu, now can you stop bugging me before I get into trouble?”

Mingyu grins. “Alright. But first, when are you done?”

“In an hour.”

“You haven’t eaten lunch yet right?”

“No...”

“Ok good,” Mingyu says, sounding pleased. “I really wanted to go to that cat café across the street for lunch, but it felt lame going on my own.”

Wonwoo doesn’t respond.

“You like cats right?” he presses.

“Yes I— wait how did you know?”

“The stickers on your laptop.”

This takes Wonwoo aback because when has Mingyu even seen his laptop when it’s been in his room or bag the whole time? Oh — the time he was sick. Right.

“Ok I get it, I’ll go with you. Now leave me alone please?”

“Alright alright,” Mingyu beams and waves him bye as he exits the store.

Wonwoo pretends he isn’t slightly distracted for the rest of his shift.

(And he definitely isn’t looking forward to going to the café with Mingyu either).

The cat café had only opened recently so Wonwoo hadn’t had the time to check it out, but after spending lunch there with Mingyu, he decides that it’s his new favourite place in the city.

They enter around 1, just as lunchtime rush is clearing up, and Wonwoo immediately wants to cry at all the adorable cats that are roaming about. They get to pet the cats as they’re waiting for their sandwiches.

One particular black cat keeps purring and nestling against his legs.

Mingyu picks up the fur ball and holds it up beside Wonwoo and blinks back and forth between him and the cat.

“What?” Wonwoo questions.

“It looks like you.” Mingyu turns the cat towards him as if to show him. It blinks at him with wide blue eyes, and lets out the cutest, tiniest yawn.

“I don’t see it.”

“Well I do,” Mingyu retorts. “It says his name is Charmander, but I think Wonwoo Junior would be more fitting.”

He starts laughing at that. “Yeah ok Mingyu.”

“I don’t get why people say black cats are bad luck,” Mingyu says after a couple seconds with a pout. He starts scratching the cat’s belly until it purrs happily. “I mean look at how cute Charmander is.”

“Mhmm,” Wonwoo nods in agreement, picking up a particularly energetic ginger tabby. Her name-tag reads “Shauna” and she meows nonstop, which he can’t help but giggle at.                                                

When he lifts her up in front of him, she seems rather intrigued by his glasses and tries to paw at them; instead, her claws end up swiping across the side of his nose and he winces, putting her down.

Mingyu immediately takes notice and sets the Charmander to the side, and quickly moves over to Wonwoo.

“You ok?”

“Yeah I think,” he can’t stop his face from contorting due to the stinging on his nose.

Mingyu is suddenly leaning close and lightly holding him by the chin to inspect the scratch, and Wonwoo just sort of freezes.

He can’t help but notice how Mingyu’s touch is really gentle and warm in a way. And then he feels annoyed at himself for noticing such a trivial, nonsensical thing. But it bothers him even more when Mingyu lightly brushes over the spot on his nose, and in response his heart seems to pick up.

“I-I’m fine,” he stammers out.

“That’s good,” Mingyu’s eyes trail over to his now and stay there for longer than what he personally thinks is ok. “It’s not bleeding so...”

Wonwoo feels his stomach twist up and he can’t stop himself from slowly leaning away from the touch.

He’s always had the worst reactions when people actually show care for him. But he’s beginning to realize that it’s even worse with Mingyu. Maybe it’s because Wonwoo hasn’t known him for long, and on top of that... Mingyu is just... he’s so—

“Don’t worry, I’m good,” Wonwoo clears his throat, trying to act casual. “At worst, there will just be scratch marks.”

“Ok, but you have to go wash it.”

“Oh yeah, um thanks,” Wonwoo nods his head and briskly walks to the bathroom, trying to get a hold of himself.

Mingyu probably just treats everyone like this, and it’s only affecting Wonwoo for some reason.

So he just has to get it to stop affecting him, and all will be well. Right?

How hard could it be?

***

Mingyu has been really busy lately trying to look for a job, and on top of that, search for Wonwoo’s soulmate. The first one seems to be going ok, as he already has a couple interviews scheduled... the second one not so much.

For some reason he isn’t getting any more clues from his dreams, and even when he goes and visits places around campus, he isn’t sensing anything from the places as he should .

Mingyu had been taught that once the contract with the human is made, he should be able to sense where their soulmate is. He should especially have some instinctual gravitation towards a particular place that the soulmate in question is at often; but Mingyu feels absolutely nothing of that sort as he’s roaming around Wonwoo’s campus.

One night, he gets back at Wonwoo’s apartment around nine and he hasn’t even eaten dinner yet. He typically grabs food outside, but today he had forgotten so he opens up Wonwoo’s cupboard in search for food.

Well, it turns out that the only goddamn thing in Wonwoo’s cupboards are plastic bowls of ramen.

Mingyu sighs.

He adds basically whatever he can salvage from Wonwoo’s fridge, which includes some leftover Korean takeout beef, odds and ends of vegetables, and an egg, (he actually has eggs? What a surprise).

Wonwoo shuffles out from his bedroom when Mingyu is almost done eating.

“I uh hope you don’t mind— I made some food because I forgot to grab something to eat,” Mingyu says with his mouth half full.

Wonwoo wrinkles his nose at him in disgust before answering. “Yeah it’s fine.”

He notices the way Wonwoo lingers around for a couple seconds, glancing continuously at the ramen. “You want some?” He asks before gulping down the soup on his spoon.

He slides his bowl across the table towards Wonwoo. There isn’t much left, but Mingyu is pretty full right now, so he doesn’t mind not having the rest.

Wonwoo just silently shakes his head. “It’s your dinner.” He then moves past the table and grabs a bag of chips from the cupboard.            

Mingyu squints in confusion as Wonwoo turns to go back to his room. He doesn’t really know what presses him to ask, but he does anyway. “Hey Wonwoo, did you have dinner yet?”

Wonwoo seems to freeze on the spot before slowly turning back around. “Umm sort of? I uh, had some snacks.”

“Snacks,” Mingyu repeats.

“Yeah snacks.”

“Like the bag of chips you’re holding?”

There’s only silence in response.

“Ok absolutely not ,” Mingyu marches up to Wonwoo and takes the chip bag out of his hands, tossing it onto the kitchen counter. “Go sit at the table.”

“Don’t tell me what to do, I’m older than you!” Wonwoo scowls but somehow listens to him and goes to sit at the table.

“Who cares if you're older,” Mingyu rolls his eyes. “At least I’m not as incompetent.”

“Incompetent?!” Wonwoo cries out indignantly.

“Yeah incompetent! You literally live off of fucking packs of sodium, MSG and carbs! Other than eggs, your fridge has like half a bulb of onion, 2 carrots and nothing else!” Mingyu throws his hands up in the air, unable to take this horror. “At this rate you’re gonna die before I even find your soulmate oh my god.”

Now it’s Wonwoo’s turn to roll his eyes. “Don’t be so dramatic.”

“Come on, it’s true. Instead of eating dinner, you have a bag of chips for god’s sake! I bet you have a stash of candy in your room too.”

Wonwoo flushes a little. Guilty .

Mingyu stands over him and starts prodding him. “Look at these twiggy arms!” he cries out lifting Wonwoo’s noodle limbs, then moves to poke his sides and stomach. “And my god you don’t even have a stomach.”

Wonwoo scowls swatting Mingyu’s hands away. “I’m not fat, so I can’t be eating that much junk.”

Mingyu sighs. “It doesn’t work like that. Just watch, when you’re an older adult, it’ll all catch up to you and you’ll not only become a blob, but you’ll become a diseased blob!”

Wonwoo glares at him.

“Anyway,” Mingyu rolls up his sleeves. “I’ll make ramen for you— at least it’ll be a better dinner than your snacks. And tomorrow we’re going grocery shopping.”

“Ok mother.”

“Shut up. I’m literally saving your life.”

“Wow, whatever did I ever do before I met you?” Wonwoo flatly responds which Mingyu makes a face at.

Soon enough, the noodles are ready (and now Wonwoo’s fridge really is completely bare— not a single other vegetable, fruit or protein in sight).

Mingyu sits across from him expectantly as Wonwoo takes a small slurp of noodles and broth, and his eyes brighten by just a fraction. “Oh... it’s good,” he remarks, the surprise evident in his voice. “It normally tastes kind of bland.”

Mingyu smirks, feeling grossly pleased with himself. “Yeah that’s probably because you just throw some hot water on it and then eat it.”

“Right, I do do that.”

“I know.”

Wonwoo frowns at Mingyu who is sitting in all his smugness, before he looks down and starts digging into his noodles. Mingyu leans his chin on his palms.

He likes how happy Wonwoo looks eating. Maybe he doesn’t eat healthy enough, but he definitely eats well.

“Stop staring.” Wonwoo mutters after a couple minutes without looking up from his bowl.

“You eat cutely.” Mingyu blurts out. He realizes two seconds later what he just said and curses at himself for lacking a goddamn filter. He kind of wants to curl in on himself now, so he quickly gives Wonwoo a teasing smirk to throw him off his case.

Wonwoo looks up at his smirk with a small glare and uses the chopsticks to point at his face. “Kim Mingyu, I swear I am this close to kicking you out before I go to bed.”

Mingyu plays along. “Wow, and after I made you the delicious ramen?”

“Yes.”

“Now that’s just cruel,” he says, dramatically clutching his chest.

“I don’t care, you deserve it.”

(Of course no kicking out ever happens.)

The next day, after Wonwoo’s classes finish, Mingyu does manage to drag him to the grocery store. It makes him realize how clueless and terrible Wonwoo is at taking care of himself (as Soonyoung kept telling him, surprise surprise!).

For one, Wonwoo doesn’t know the first thing about saving and checking prices. Second, he has no idea what to get of any brand. But biggest of all, he doesn’t even know what food item he needs to buy.

“Ok, if I don’t cook, how am I supposed to know what to buy? Like all I need is packs of ramen!”

Mingyu sighs. “Just break it down: breakfast, lunch, dinner.”

“I don’t eat breakfast.”

“Yeah, well we’re gonna change that real fast,” Mingyu laughs.

(“What cereal do you want? .... Oh for fucks sake Wonwoo don’t pick the sugar cereal with cute characters, you’re not five!” Mingyu swats Wonwoo’s hand to put the Lucky Charms back on the shelf.)

They somehow miraculously move through the list of ‘to buy’ items that he had written up, and head to the checkout. Wonwoo goes speechless at the price blinking on the register screen.

“It’s because you have zero food right now. Normally this number would be like half the size,” Mingyu tries to reassure him. “No scratch that, it would be like one sixth the size— but since I’m living with you, I’m paying for half.”

“Oh right,” Wonwoo says nodding his head.

They walk back mainly in silence, and when they’re crossing a park to reach the apartment Mingyu impulsively reaches out to take Wonwoo’s free hand. The below zero temperatures lately have caused the twisty park pathways to turn icy, and nobody’s bothered to salt it yet.

Wonwoo seems to tense up at first, but quickly relaxes as they make their way across, careful not to slip on the icy patches. Away from the loud colorful lights of the city, only the slice of the wind and rustle of bare branches on the shivering trees can be heard.

Mingyu sort of wants to pull away when they’re back on solid sidewalk, but at the same time he doesn’t because Wonwoo’s hands are kind of freezing; and so he keeps them wrapped in his.

“Your hands are so cold,” he lightly whispers, unsure if Wonwoo would hear or not.

He must have heard though, because he mumbles back, “Well yeah, it’s cold outside.”

“I guess... then it must be because I’m always warm, your hands are like ice-cubes.”

Wonwoo laughs a little at that. “Probably. Should’ve brought gloves.”

They’re almost back at the building when Mingyu decides to tell him.

“Hey can I tell you something?”

“Yeah?”

Mingyu takes a small breath of the chilly night air. “Um, so I found... where your soulmate is. Just, uh, the general location.”

Wonwoo seems to freeze for a split-second, before quickly resuming his normal walking pace. “Oh where?” he tries to ask nonchalantly, except Mingyu can hear the slight nervous raise in his pitch.

“Your university.”

Now Wonwoo really does come to an abrupt halt causing him to almost trip. Mingyu slowly turns around to face him.

“Really?” his voice is tense, and his eyes look bright and a little frantic in the cold light of the moon.

“Yeah.”         

There’s a stretch of sudden silence between them, which confuses Mingyu, and he slowly lets go of his hands. He can’t really tell what Wonwoo is thinking— but at the same time, he’s not really sure what he’s thinking himself either.

“Come on,” Mingyu finally manages to say, turning in the direction of the apartment. “It’s getting late and these grocery bags are getting heavy.”

Wonwoo doesn’t respond, but nonetheless silently follows him, which Mingyu is fine with.

“Yes!” Mingyu pumps his fist in the air out of happiness, just getting off the phone.

Wonwoo is currently entering his apartment from school, and is taking off his shoes at the entrance. “What is it?”

“I got the job I wanted the most. At the campus store.”

“The one near the library?”

“Yeah.”

“Congrats,” Wonwoo seems to stare at him for a while before turning his gaze away. “Oh... that’s why you wanted this job?”

“Why I....” Mingyu’s voice trails off in confusion before it hits him that Wonwoo is referring to the information about his soulmate. “Oh um, yeah.”

“I see,” he murmurs. “Well good luck with that too I guess.”

For some reason, that sounds really odd coming from Wonwoo’s mouth... but Mingyu tries not to dwell over it.

“Thanks,” he softly chuckles.

Little does Mingyu know that this part-time job of his would change so much.

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Chapter Text

Winter draws closer and nights get longer and chillier, while mornings are filled with frost enveloping every blade of grass and crumpled autumn leaf in a wintery kiss. Warmer parkas and scarves are brought out, and the morning scenery consists of people hurriedly scraping the intricate imprints of thousands of frozen ice-flakes from their car windows.

Mingyu figures that an approaching winter can mean something different for everyone. For most people it probably means trying to meet all the countless deadlines before the holidays really hit. It also means the ever-impending excitement of festivity right around the corner.

For Mingyu, winter drawing closer means he needs to hurry on with his job, although it’s become increasingly difficult for him the past couple weeks to gather any hint or clue where Wonwoo’s soulmate might be. He silently prays that Jeonghan won’t give him another threatening call to get a move on things.

Winter also means that he gets to see Wonwoo huddle into his knitted, oversized sweaters and absentmindedly hum Christmas carols as he goes about his daily business. And then when he catches himself humming, he’ll groan about the song right afterwards. (“God, why do they play these 24/7 around this time of year at my work? My head is just filled with Christmas carols now Mingyu!”)

That part he supposes is a plus.

Mingyu didn’t notice it earlier, but ever since he started living here with Wonwoo, something between them had shifted. Wonwoo was more relaxed and happy around him. Mingyu saw less of his frown and more of his softer small smiles.

He had thought Wonwoo would hate his company, but Mingyu is starting to think otherwise because Wonwoo makes it a habit to ask him what they’re eating each night, meaning he actually wants to eat with Mingyu.

Wonwoo is usually always busy with school so he steers clear of him when he’s studying, but dinner has become one of those rituals where they’re always together, sometimes with Soonyoung too.

Usually he offers help to make the food, and Mingyu delegates whatever he thinks Wonwoo can’t mess up— typically it’s cutting the vegetables.

“What?” Wonwoo demands when they’re having stir-fry one night, and Mingyu can’t stop smiling at the plate of vegetables Wonwoo had chopped. They’re all clunky and an array of various sizes.

“Nothing.”

Wonwoo scowls. “If you’re gonna make fun of my vege—”

“No no!” Mingyu interrupts him with a teasing grin. “I promise I won’t. I like how choppy and uneven they are. It’s cute.”

Wonwoo’s squints at him with a frown, his cheeks going slightly pink from embarrassment. “You really need to stop saying shit like that.”

Mingyu can only laugh before looking back down at his pan and swiftly adding a shower of soy sauce over the vegetables.

Lately he finds himself becoming braver around Wonwoo. Maybe it’s because the impenetrable fortress that typically surrounds him seems to be slowly peeling away and letting him in a little. Even if it’s just a tiny opening, it’s still enough for Mingyu to allow himself to feel more comfortable around Wonwoo.

After all, he knows that the closer he gets in their friendship, the easier it will be for him to sense Wonwoo’s soulmate. Maybe that’s also why Mingyu finds himself on a lazy November weekend when Wonwoo’s off at work, calling Soonyoung over to the nearest café.

“You want to do what now?” Soonyoung squints at him questioningly as he’s taking off his jacket to hang on the cushioned chair at the café.

“A birthday party.”

“Um Mingyu, hate to break it to you, but Wonwoo doesn’t like to well, um, formally celebrate his birthday,” Soonyoung shrugs. “Trust me, I’ve tried suggesting it before.”

“Does it have to do with his dad?”

“Y-yeah, it does.” Soonyoung pauses and stares at him in surprise before shaking himself out of it and asks, “He told you?”

“Um, sort of yeah.”

Soonyoung lets out a low impressed whistle in response. “Wow, I have to hand it to you, Wonwoo doesn’t open up to new people so easily.”

“I’m not exactly like other people though,” Mingyu shrugs, fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

“Right you’re not,” he grins. “Anyway, since you already know that he doesn’t like to celebrate his birthday, why’d you suggest it?”

Mingyu sighs. “Look, when was the last time you brought this up to him?”

“Um around the year we first met, and first year of uni as well actually...”

“Exactly!” Mingyu nods along enthusiastically. “It’s been two years since then. Wonwoo’s really changed since then you know?”

Soonyoung’s eyes narrow imperceptibly, and the gaze directed at him is as curious as ever. Mingyu immediately understands what Soonyoung’s likely thinking. He makes it sound like he’s known Wonwoo all his life. And even though technically he’s seen it all—Soonyoung doesn’t know that. Now that Mingyu thinks about it, it strikes him that he probably knows the details of Wonwoo’s childhood even better than Soonyoung at this point. It’s an absurd thought, but it’s true nonetheless.

“I don’t know man. Every year, we don’t really do anything special for Wonwoo’s birthday because that’s what he seems happy with. It’s normally just Jihoon and I, and we just give him a present and buy a small cupcake or something.” Soonyoung thoughtfully nibbles his double chocolate chip cookie that he had bought upon arrival at the café. “Other than that, it’s like any other day.”

Mingyu nods carefully. He doesn’t know why exactly he wants to throw Wonwoo a birthday party. He wonders if his actions are out of pity when he looks back on Wonwoo’s childhood, which was so filled with loneliness that it pained Mingyu to see it all like that. Instead, he likes to think he’s doing this sort of as a ‘thank you’ for letting him stay at the apartment. But if this won’t make Wonwoo happy or anything, then what’s the point, right?

Mingyu explains this out loud, and now Soonyoung is chomping away at his cookie, intently nodding along.

“Honestly, I’m probably just being too cautious,” Soonyoung finally says. “Wonwoo has changed a lot lately— if we throw him a birthday party, it’ll be the first one he’s ever had with his friends. I’m sure he’ll love it.”

Mingyu’s shoulders immediately relax and a smile widens across his lips. “Really? You sure?”

“Yeah, I was hesitant at first, but now that I think about it... why not right?”

Mingyu silently cheers and Soonyoung is already pulling out a notepad from his bag, flicking it open. “Okay it’s in a week so let’s plan.”

Mingyu nods enthusiastically and pulls his chair closer to the other as the two begin discussing the food, decorations, and basically everything they might need to buy for the party.

The day of the party quickly arrives and Mingyu is almost certain that Wonwoo doesn’t suspect a thing. It’s mid-afternoon, and Wonwoo is on his usual Saturday shift at his work when Mingyu and Soonyoung are hauling all the party supplies into the apartment. On their way up the elevator, the door opens on the second floor and in walks Wonwoo’s neighbour.

Minghao’s eyes go from his usual calm demeanor to a wide-eyed surprise.

“Soonyoung?”

“Woah, hey!” Soonyoung exclaims, nearly dropping the party bags in surprise.

Mingyu’s eyes flit back and forth between the two. “You two know each other?”

“Yeah,” Soonyoung laughs. “Minghao’s one of the members from the dance studio I’m a part of outside school.”

Mingyu slowly nods his head in understanding, mouth shaping into an ‘o’.

“What are you doing here? And with Mingyu?” Minghao glances at him questioningly.

“You know Mingyu?” Soonyoung now glances over at him.

“Um, Minghao is Wonwoo’s neighbour,” he explains as all three step out of the elevator. “We met once.”

“Wow ok, small world,” Soonyoung remarks.

“But how do you know Mingyu and Wonwoo?” Minghao questions in as they’re walking towards their room.

“Wonwoo and I have been friends since high school. And you could say that Mingyu’s a new friend I met through Wonwoo.”

“Oh. I see... small world is right,” Minghao mutters. "My dance choreographer is my neighbour's friend." 

Soonyoung chuckles in response. “Didn’t know you lived here though. How come I never saw you before? I come here pretty often.”

“I only moved in last week,” Minghao shrugs. “I actually met Wonwoo and Mingyu because they helped me bring my boxes up.”

“Ah cool,” Soonyoung nods.

“Anyway,” Minghao waves his hands dismissively, “what are the party supplies for?”

“It’s Wonwoo’s birthday. We’re throwing him a surprise party,” Mingyu explains as the three stop in front of Minghao’s door.

“Hmm, cool have fun I guess,” he smiles gently before turning to open his apartment door.

Before any of them can move any further however, Soonyoung blurts out, “Hey you should come! Wonwoo’s met you right?”

Minghao’s hands still against his door knob and he slowly turns to face the two of them.

“Oh um, yes but...” his eyes nervously flit between him and Soonyoung.

“Hey look, you’re not a stranger, and Wonwoo definitely wouldn’t mind you being there. Trust me.”

“I don’t know, I don’t really know anyone so...”

“Minghaooo,” Soonyoung whines, cuddling against the stiff skinny boy, “Come on you know me , and you’re like my favourite dancer. And you need to make some friends from your new uni ok? You’re always hanging out by yourself lately.”

Minghao blushes at that. “I-I’m not.”

“You are! I saw you last time I went to see Wonwoo after his classes. You were eating by yourself!”

When Minghao doesn’t respond, Soonyoung presses, “Plus, Mingyu will need some help putting up decorations. Our friend Jihoon was supposed to come help, but he got called in at work last minute, so now Mingyu is stuck doing it alone.”

“Huh? What about you?”

“I can’t help,” Soonyoung grins. “I’m supposed to be distracting Wonwoo.”

“Oh, I see.”

Soonyoung now makes puppy eyes at Minghao. “So pleease? It’ll be fun.”

“Ok, I guess I’ll come and help...” Minghao sighs, “since Wonwoo helped me with my boxes and all...”

“Sweet, think of it as a good neighbour bonding experience!” Soonyoung cheerily responds.

This is how that evening Mingyu finds himself hanging up streamers with Minghao while Soonyoung drags Wonwoo outside for whatever reason or excuse he could come up with. The two talk aimlessly— mainly about their present occupations and studies (aka, Mingyu’s nicely strung lies) as they’re putting up the decorations.

“Wonwoo’s friends are really nice you know,” Mingyu says after Minghao expresses discomfort about transferring universities. “I only met them once, but they’ll probably like you.”

Mingyu thinks Minghao is just a likable person in general. He’s a little quiet and shy at first, but once he gets more comfortable he seems very genuine and trustworthy. He’s a little blunt too, but it doesn’t detract from his good nature.

He likes the way Minghao is very passionate about his hobbies, and it turns out they have more in common than he previously thought. They both enjoy photography, painting, sketching and so on. They start talking about the different artists they like when they’re cut short by the knock of the door.

“I’ll get it,” Mingyu says, getting up to find Wonwoo’s friends standing outside, all them which he had already met from the horror movie night. Well at least, everyone he'd met was there, except for Jihoon.

They noisily pile inside and he explains how they’re going to do things when Wonwoo arrives.

Eventually his phone buzzes as a signal from Soonyoung to get ready and that the two are making their way up now. He flicks off all the lights and for the next minute all that can be heard is hushed scampering and rustling around to get ready.

“Oh my god this is so exciting, I’m gonna pee my pants,” Seungkwan loudly whispers from under the futon, voice all excited.

“Yeah, why didn’t we do this last year?” Seokmin asks from behind the curtains.

“Shhh!” Hansol harshly whispers to both of them, his figure crouched against the TV set.

Mingyu catches the click of the front door, and instantly the whole room seems to still into a deafening silence. It feels like everyone is holding their breath as the door creaks open.

“Huh, why are the lights off?” Wonwoo’s confused voice cuts into the stillness that hangs onto the air.

“One, two, three,” Mingyu silently counts under his breath before his hands shoot to the lights and he flicks them on.

All at once streamers and confetti are flying everywhere, and Wonwoo is just standing there with a stunned face, jaw slack and completely frozen. Noisy and warm choruses of “SURPRISE!” and yelling can be heard in all directions.

Soonyoung is the first one to tackle Wonwoo into a hug with a smile so happy, Mingyu is pretty sure he embodies the fucking sun right now. “Happy Birthday Won!” he says gleefully.  

As the rest are piling on top of Soonyoung, burying the birthday boy into a big messy group hug, Mingyu takes the opportunity to speed to the kitchen and take out the cake.

He can hear Wonwoo’s soft chuckles and embarrassed laughs as he and Minghao lean down to light the candles on the cake.

By the time he’s standing back in the living room, the others have finally given Wonwoo a little room to breathe, and the boy is looking around now. Wonwoo sounds confused as Mingyu approaches him from behind, cake in his hands.

“Huh... that’s weird, where’s Mingyu?”

Mingyu figures now is the best time to start singing happy birthday, and Wonwoo whirls around in surprise to face him. The rest immediately join in, and soon everyone is singing along.

Wonwoo’s face looks warm by the light of the candles. Slowly his eyes turn into small sparkling crescents and a smile begins to unfurl across his lips, stretching wide and revealing a row of perfectly straight white teeth.

Mingyu can’t help but notice the way dimples appear at the corner of his lips when his cheeks bunch up contently like that. It makes his stomach do a weak yet insistent flip, and he can’t really understand why.

“Happy Birthday,” he manages to say with a small smile when the song ends, and he lifts the cake a little closer to Wonwoo for him to blow out the candles.

When Wonwoo looks back up at him from the extinguished flames, it’s with a kind of warmth that Mingyu is positive he’s never seen up until now, and it makes him go cold on the spot, or maybe melt completely— he can’t really tell at this point.

He wants to avert his gaze, but his eyes seem insistent on staying locked onto Wonwoo’s. He only manages to break free from the stare when Minghao clears his throat. He quickly whips his head around to land on Minghao.

“We should cut the cake now,” he suggests with an amused smile.

“R-right,” Mingyu stammers, moving past Wonwoo to grab a knife and plastic plates from the kitchen.

Mingyu watches as Jihoon arrives an hour later looking out of breath and with a present in hand.

“Dude, I’m so sorry I missed, um you know, the birthday part of the birthday party.” Jihoon frowns as he hands him his present. “My shift lasted a little longer than I thought it would, so I missed my bus.”

Wonwoo only shakes his head with a grin. “It’s fine, you’re here now.”

“Yeah...” Jihoon pauses and bites his lips. “But I still shouldn’t have missed it.”

“Really it’s ok.”

“Ok,” he nods before quickly adding, “And I’m not just making excuses or anything... for once... Like um, I actually wanted to be here.”

“Don’t worry I believe you,” Wonwoo laughs and pulls Jihoon into a hug from where he’s sitting.

“Aww Hoonie’s being all sentimental and shit,” Soonyoung teasingly coos in the background, taking another swig of his beer.

“Shut up you asshole,” Jihoon mutters back, ears turning pink. Mingyu can’t help but chuckle at that. Their friendship was truly strange.

“Hmp, why can’t you be as nice to me as you are to Wonwoo?” Soonyoung pouts.

Jihoon rolls his eyes and turns back to Wonwoo, still standing stiff as a board against the hug, and awkwardly pats his shoulder. “Um yeah, ok. Uh cool. Happy Birthday again.”

“Thanks,” Wonwoo grins and moves back to let Jihoon peel away from the hug.

“Yeah um... I’m just gonna get a drink or something.” Jihoon points over his shoulder to which Wonwoo just happily nods.

Within a couple hours everybody seems all relaxed and happily buzzed, except Mingyu who chooses not to drink-- because, well, look at what happened last time. Yeah. He is definitely not repeating that.

Seungkwan and Seokmin are doing karaoke and it’s reminiscent of the last time Mingyu was around Wonwoo’s friends. Except this time, Wonwoo is sitting right next to him.

“They don’t have karaoke machines of their own, so that’s all they do when they come over,” Wonwoo shakes his head.

“They should get one,” Mingyu laughs over Seungkwan’s (incredible) belting. “They’re so good!”

“Yeah, good until they start really getting drunk,” Wonwoo yells over the music.

“Honestly, drunk or not, they still sound amazing to my tone-deaf ass,” Mingyu shakes his head, impressed.

“I’ve heard you humming songs when you’re cooking,” Wonwoo glances over at him, automatically lowering his volume as Seungkwan and Seokmin’s duet seems to be coming to a close. “You’re not tone deaf. No way.”

“You have no idea.”

“Nah I don’t believe that. Come on, you should sing one,” Wonwoo nudges his shoulders encouragingly as the duet finally ends.

Mingyu can only chuckle nervously. “Trust me, really, I can’t.”

“Oh come on, sing one with me then. So you won’t be alone.”

“I’m honestly good,” he shakes his head, legs feeling jittery from the request. “I really can’t sing.”

“Okay, suit yourself then,” Wonwoo shrugs and turns his attention to the other guys as they look for another song to sing.

Mingyu slowly turns his head to look at Wonwoo when he isn’t paying attention. Among the dimly lit lights, all the loud voices and music seem to muffle away, and Wonwoo’s scrunched up nose in laughter is the only thing that rings with clarity— and it suddenly strikes Mingyu just how clueless he feels on this job.

Up until now, he’s been doing whatever he thought he was supposed to be doing; but really, he doesn’t have an ounce of legitimate experience to back up his decisions. He’s beginning to think the maybe up until now he's been doing everything wrong.

Maybe he’s overthinking this all, and he should be relying on his intuition more. One of his instructors always said that, “gut instinct is the way to go!” Right now, Mingyu’s gut instinct is screaming at him to move away from the clasp of Wonwoo’s hands on his thighs as he doubles over with laughter at Seungkwan’s joke.

And so, that’s what Mingyu does.

Without a word he slips away, almost tripping over a noise maker as he makes his way towards Minghao who seems to be excitedly talking with Hansol. The two of them are staring at Minghao’s professional camera.

“Hey,” he casually says as he plops down on the carpet beside the two.

“Hey,” Minghao genuinely smiles at him, looking far happier and more relaxed now than how he was at the start of the party. “I was just showing Hansol my photography.”

“Minghao is really good,” Hansol nods, looking very impressed as he munches on some chips.

“Cool, I want to see.”

“They’re not that good,” Minghao mutters as he hands his camera to Mingyu. “I took some pictures tonight as well, by the way.”

“Shit Minghao, these are amazing,” he breathes, hardly even noticing how Hansol is getting dragged away by Seungkwan for Karaoke.

He gets so lost in all the photos, and he can’t stop moving to the next one in awe. Minghao captures all the scenes with such profession, and focuses on subtle details that Mingyu would’ve otherwise missed.

He especially likes this one photo of Wonwoo, likely taken a couple hours ago, where Minghao draws attention to a tiny streamer sitting delicately on top of Wonwoo’s ruffled up chestnut brown hair. It’s somehow so cute and Mingyu can’t stop smiling at the photo. The glow from the lighting with Wonwoo looking so unbelievably warm in his caramel turtleneck sweater and surrounded by the shimmer of streamers makes a sort of warmth pool into the tips of his fingers.

“You want me to send you that photo or something?”

“What?” he shoots his head up to find a questioning look in Minghao’s eyes.

“You keep staring at it.”

“Y-yeah, I like it. I like all of them.”

“You like that one the best though,” Minghao chuckles softly. “Cause it’s Wonwoo,”

“I, um—guh what?” Mingyu makes a strange, unidentifiable noise at the back of his throat.

“What, you think I’m that oblivious? Don’t play dumb,” Minghao rolls his eyes. “You have such a big fat crush on him, anyone with half a brain can see.”

Mingyu nearly chokes on his drink.

“I-it’s not like that.” He means to speak firmly, but his words come out quieter and more confused than intended. “Are you serious... do I really look like that?”

“Um yeah ? Dude.” Minghao looks at him dumbfounded. “How can you be that oblivious?”

“I-I’m not. I just had no clue. I never once thought I liked...”

“Really?”

“No! I mean I-I do like him as a person. Or friend. But...”

“But what?” Minghao interjects. “Just answer the question. How do you feel when you’re around Wonwoo?”

Suddenly this is all too confusing for Mingyu to process. How does he feel about Wonwoo? How is he supposed to feel towards another human, according to the agency again? How does that align with how he’s feeling towards Wonwoo right now?

Maybe Minghao can see all the confusion panning out across his face so he continues, “Okay fine, let’s make it easier, how did you feel the last time you had a crush? Even a small one. Is it the same?”

Mingyu pauses, a strange new realization dawning upon him. “Uhh.... well, now that I think about it, I’ve never really um, had, someone I...” he trails off, unsure of his words now.

“Oh,” is all Minghao responds at first.

“Yeah.”

“Well that’s fine I guess. Everyone’s different,” Minghao shrugs. “But I mean even if you’ve never had a crush before, you’ve at least seen how it’s like in movies or whatever right?”

“Huh.” Mingyu pauses and tilts his head with a thoughtful squint. “I’ve never really attributed myself to those.”

“Well maybe because you never gave it any thought before,”

“Maybe,” Mingyu mumbles, looking back down at the camera. He shakes his head with a sigh and hands it back to Minghao. He really doesn’t want to think about it. “Anyway...” he slowly starts, trying to divert away from the topic, “enough about me, how about you?”

“What about me?”

“Um, you seemed to be getting along with Hansol,” Mingyu chuckles, “finally making friends like Soonyoung wants you to?”

Minghao scoffs, but his eyes soften before he says, “Yeah I guess, Hansol seems like a nice guy and all. Wonwoo too...”

“You spoke with him?”

“Yeah, he was chill about me being here and all.”

“Of course, why wouldn’t he be?” Mingyu laughs.

***

The party finally begins to come to a close, and Wonwoo’s friends head home. A very drunk Soonyoung insists he stays behind and help clean up and Jihoon has to drag him out scowling that if Soonyoung starts trying to help, the only thing he’d end up cleaning is his own puke off of Wonwoo’s carpet.

Eventually it’s just Mingyu and him cleaning up in silence. Well mainly, it’s just Mingyu cleaning up and Wonwoo playing with the balloons. He knows he should help, but he feels really jittery being around Mingyu all of a sudden and wants to distract himself.

Besides, he figures he can get away with it for at least one day, being the birthday boy and all.

Eventually Wonwoo does end up doing the dishes, and when they finish up they plop down in the middle of the carpet in exhaustion.

Wonwoo is kind of glad he barely drank today, even if it was his birthday and he should’ve totally gotten shitfaced... For some reason, he really doesn’t want to get drunk around Mingyu again— god knows what he’d say. And from what he saw, Mingyu didn’t touch any alcohol either, meaning they’re both very sober and very tired right now.

Before he can say anything, Mingyu beats him to it.

“Don’t think I didn’t get you anything.”

“Huh?”

“My present. It’ll arrive soon, you just have to wait.”

“O-oh,” Wonwoo bites his lip. “You know, throwing me a surprise party is a present enough.” When Mingyu remains silent, he continues, “Soonyoung told me it was your idea.”

“Oh, um yeah, but it wouldn’t have been possible without him.”

“Yeah but you thought of it,” Wonwoo pulls up his knees up to his chest and looks across at Mingyu. “Nobody’s ever done something like that for me. Okay I mean, it’s not as if I’ve ever secretly wanted a surprise birthday party. I never really thought about it. But now that it’s over, I’m glad it happened. So thank you.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

Now that the thanks have been said Wonwoo can’t help but wonder about the glaring question sitting in between the two of them right now. Why? Why did Mingyu do it?

“Why did you want to throw the party though?” he finally manages to ask when curiosity gets the better of him.

Mingyu gives him a smile, but it looks somewhat stiff at this point. He thinks Mingyu looks dimmer than usual at the moment. He was fine when the party started.... maybe he’s just tired, Wonwoo surmises.

“I just... didn’t want to miss the chance when I had it I guess. Plus, I sort of, um, realized you’ve never really had a big birthday party with your friends before. I thought you’d like it if you did. Think of it as a thank you for letting me stay here.”

Something about Mingyu’s words strike a pang in his chest. Didn’t want to miss the chance, he says. Right. Because otherwise, he might never get another chance to do this. Because once Mingyu is done...

Nononono , Wonwoo mutters in his head. Today was a good day. He was happy today. That’s all he wants to think about right now— he doesn’t want any of this extra emotional baggage that seems to drag around him constantly for once.

“Thank you again. Really.”

Wonwoo leans forward again and presses his hands against Mingyu’s shoulder with purpose. He wants to do more, though he isn’t sure what he exactly wants to do— and that thought alone terrifies him— so he just settles for an awkward pat.

“You’re welcome.”

One last silent smile is exchanged between the two before Wonwoo mumbles that he’s sleepy and heads on over to his room, thoughts filled with Mingyu. And only Mingyu.

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                                  *   　　         　　　  　
. .   * 　　　    *

Chapter Text

Weeks pass by in the blink of an eye and Wonwoo finds a happiness in his steps lately.

“Exams start in like two days, why the fuck do you look so happy?” a grumpy, sleep deprived Jihoon grumbles to him at the library one night.

“Huh?”

“You always just look so sickeningly happy lately. It’s annoying.”

“You’re so rude,” Wonwoo shoves him lightly with a laugh. He’s not offended because he knows it’s typical for Jihoon to get like this when he’s stressed about his schoolwork. Wonwoo honestly can’t understand why, because Jihoon is practically a genius. Wonwoo might’ve entered university from a big scholarship, but even he can’t match Jihoon, who’s pretty much a ‘one in a million’ kind of student.

They study for a little longer before Wonwoo decides to stop for the day and gets up. “Let’s head home now.”

“I’ll stay a little longer,” Jihoon mumbles, not taking his eyes off his notes.

Wonwoo knows he’s trying to shove all his course work down his brain as quickly as possible so he can free up time for his music. But that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be sleeping, right?

“Okay no. Come on,” Wonwoo tries to pull him up. “You say ‘a little while longer’ but then you don’t even end up sleeping!”

“Bu—”

“No.” Wonwoo firmly says again, and surprisingly so, he’s able to drag Jihoon up and coax him to put on his coat. The fact that he’s so easily able to convince his incessantly stubborn friend to go home early and get some sleep is beyond impressive. He can’t help but think that Jihoon really must’ve reached his limit.

They walk to the bus stop mainly in tired silence, only the crunch of ice underneath their boots filling the air. December has finally begun and fat fluffy snowflakes are now dancing down from the dark skies to tangle with the bright streetlights and Christmas decorations.

Wonwoo’s phone buzzes and he immediately knows who it is without even checking.

From: Kim Mingyu 

> Do you want fried rice or stew today?

To: Kim Mingyu

Fried rice please <

From: Kim Mingyu 

> Alright ^^

To: Kim Mingyu

You know, you can make what you want too. <

You don’t always need to get my input <

From: Kim Mingyu

> Do you not want to give input?

To: Kim Mingyu

I’m just saying that you should have what you like too <

From: Kim Mingyu

> I like what you like so it’s ok *^*

To: Kim Mingyu

Ok then <

From: Kim Mingyu

> When will you be here?

To: Kim Mingyu

About 20 minutes. <

Just waiting for the the bus <

From: Kim Mingyu

> Be careful on the bus at this time >.>

> there can be really sketchy people you know

To: Kim Mingyu

Pfft, don’t worry I’m with Jihoon <

From: Kim Mingyu

> right right, he’ll fight off thugs for you

> stay safe ^^

To: Kim Mingyu

Haha he really will <

Ok, see you soon <

“You’re doing it again,” Jihoon groans as the bus is pulling up.

“Huh? Doing what?”

“Smiling stupidly while texting him.”

Wonwoo’s retort falters on his tongue as he boards the bus and swipes his pass. He’s not really doing that... is he? Oh god. He suddenly wants to chuck his phone several meters away from him.

“Okay look,” Jihoon sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose when they’re seated. “Whatever’s going on between you and M—”

“Nothing!” Wonwoo blurts out defensively. “Nothing is going on,” he repeats again firmly. “Look, Mingyu makes me food. Food makes me happy okay? I’m a simple man.”

Jihoon cracks a tiny smile at that. “Okay well, I just...” he bites his lip, tracing shapes on the back of the bus seat in front of him. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt okay?”

Wonwoo stares at him dumbfounded. Hurt? That is the last thing he expects.

They sit in silence the rest of the way to the apartment and Jihoon looks like he’s ready to go to bed right on the bus. He actually does eventually end up dozing off on Wonwoo’s shoulder and needs to be nudged awake when they arrive at their stop.

“See you,” Jihoon sleepily mumbles when they finally separate on the elevator.

When Wonwoo arrives at his apartment, Mingyu is there with fried rice like he said he would be. However, rather than happily digging in like he normally would, Wonwoo is more hung up and bothered by Jihoon’s words than he initially thought he was.

He’s nibbling on the grains of rice when he catches a worried glance from Mingyu.

“Is it bad?”

“Huh? No— it’s really good! I just... lack my appetite today I guess.”

“How come?” Mingyu questions.

“Uhh you know, maybe stress for finals or something.” Wonwoo makes a vague gesture with his hand.

“You’ll do fine,” Mingyu assures him softly.

“Thanks.” Wonwoo replies before swallowing his rice uncomfortably.

***

Mingyu nervously fixes the collar of his shirt. It’s his first day on his new part-time job at the campus store, so he doesn’t really know what to expect. It turns out that he’s not the only new worker starting that day either.

There’s another boy who seems to be around his age. He has a tall slender figure, broad shoulders, and looks around Wonwoo’s height. Mingyu also notes that he’s exceptionally handsome with a perfectly sloped nose, doe-like eyes and long lashes. Mingyu glances down at his coworker’s nametag that reads ‘Wen Junhui’. When he lifts his gaze back up he notices Junhui casting him a timid look.

Mingyu opens his mouth to introduce himself, but the supervisor’s arrival cuts him off. He immediately turns his attention, and within about a minute is able to conclude that the supervisor today is some grumpy lady who obviously doesn’t want to be spending time babysitting two newbies— but well, here she is.

“Come with me,” she says sharply as they follow her to the computers at the back. “Your names?”

“Mingyu.”

“Junhui,” the man says sounding a little nervous, and he can immediately catch the slight accent in his voice.

The supervisor begins to give the two of them the run through of the job after teaching them how to sign in for their shift everyday, as well as getting them to create their respective accounts for where their weekly work schedules will be posted. They spend most of the morning learning where all the items they have to re-stock are, as well as what they need to know about working the till and labelling all the clothing and other items with correct tags/stickers and hangers.

Nothing exciting really happens, and Mingyu has ease talking with customers so it’s no big deal. Junhui on the other hand is insanely awkward, and Mingyu can hear the endearing little breaks between his syllables and his stiff but cute smiles when greeting customers.

A couple hours into their shift, Junhui folds one of the hoodies “improperly”, (it honestly looks perfectly fine to Mingyu), and the supervisor scolds him for it and walks off to another clothing rack with a huff.  He goes red in embarrassment but Mingyu can only roll his eyes. He’d been standing there as well folding some shirts, so he leans over to Junhui and whispers under his breath, “Jeez what crawled up her ass and died?”

Junhui giggles at that, and for the first time today, directly smiles at him.

Mingyu smiles back and decides to say, “Since we’re both new here, let’s stick out for each other yeah?”

His co-worker seems to light up at that. “Yeah of course! Definitely,” he responds enthusiastically.

Mingyu gets to know Wen Junhui surprisingly well over the next couple days when they have constant shifts together. He learns that Junhui is a year older than him like Wonwoo, and is an international student. He’s only here for a year for his co-op placement as a part of his teaching program. That would begin in two months, so this was pretty much his break time.

“I went to an international university back in China,” he explains to Mingyu when they’re having their lunch break. “So everything was in English. That’s why I don’t really have a heavy accent when I speak.”

“Oh cool. So you only flew in a couple weeks ago?”

“Yeah. It’s been two weeks.”

“Damn, you looked for a job quickly then,” Mingyu laughs.

“I needed the money so I figured I shouldn’t waste anytime trying to get settled in first,” Junhui chuckles brushing away his bangs.

Mingyu notices that he has this habit of smoothing his reddish brown hair from his eyes with the tips of his fingers.

He also notices that Junhui wears a lot of metal and braided cord bracelets on both his hands. Maybe it’s just for fashion, but Mingyu finds it unusual because most people do the exact opposite than covering their wrists from other’s eyes. But well, everyone has their own reasons right?

One day Junhui asks him if he wants to hang out and go ice skating with him.

“I don’t know how to skate though,” Mingyu says with a shake of his head.

His coworker’s eyes light up like a little kid's. “That’s even better! I can help you.”

Mingyu laughs, “I think it would ruin my charming image if you saw me wobbling around like a newborn calf.”

“Please,” Junhui exaggerates an eye roll, “I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who has that aura around here.”

“Okay sorry but what aura?” Mingyu throws back his head and laughs. “You show me pictures of pugs and squeal over how cute they are.”

“W-well,” Junhui gets flustered quickly and blushes. “They’re cute.”

“And there’s that time you saw a video of a baby crying, so you started tearing up too.”

“It was sad okay!”

Mingyu just grins and pokes Junhui’s cheeks that have bunched up into a pout. He likes teasing him, simply because his coworker strikes him as a really soft hearted and cutely awkward kind of person— more so than anyone he’s ever met. Kind of like Wonwoo, the stupid voice in the back of his mind giggles and Mingyu wants to tell it to shut up.

He should really stop attributing everything in his life to Wonwoo so fucking much. It was making his head start to hurt. Just yesterday he saw a cute beanie hat in the display of a shop while on the way to work and immediately thought of how Wonwoo would like it. Then he ate sushi for lunch and remembered how seafood upsets Wonwoo’s stomach. And then—

“Anyway, um, skating still?” Junhui meekly smiles at Mingyu, making him snap out of his thoughts. “I have extra skates if you don’t.”

“Um sure,” Mingyu shrugs. “I guess it won’t hurt to try something new.”

Mingyu was wrong. Very wrong.

He was wrong because it actually does hurt. Tripping face first into the cold ice hurts a whole fucking lot.

He curses at his legs for not cooperating with his head as he struggles to get back up. “Oh my god Mingyu!” Junhui exclaims as he gracefully glides over to help him up. “You okay?”

“I’m good. It’s okay,” he pants. Once he’s up, Mingyu rubs his elbows that he used to land the fall and save his jaw.

“Sorry I left you for a bit.” Junhui frowns with worry.

“Um dude— I asked you to let me go off on my own cause I thought I was ready, remember?”

“Yeah but still...”

“Anyway it’s fine,” Mingyu laughs it off. “I’m still in one piece. Probably just bruised my elbows a little.”

“Ok...” Junhui pauses for a bit before he holds out his hands to Mingyu. “I’d rather your giant clumsy limbs not land you in the hospital though. Or I’ll feel responsible.”

Mingyu grins and takes the hand. “Told you I’m not cut out for this kind of stuff. I can stand on flat ground and still manage to trip over my own feet you know?”

Junhui laughs heartily at that, and they do countless more circles around the big indoor skating rink.

Mingyu heads back to Wonwoo’s apartment that night quite content despite feeling exhausted from all that exercise. He decides that he genuinely does like hanging out with Junhui.

The moment he enters the apartment however, his good mood plummets off a cliff. Wonwoo is on the phone pacing back and forth. He freezes on the spot when Mingyu walks in.

Mingyu attempts to give him a small smile but Wonwoo just looks back with a blank face, looking a little disoriented as if he couldn't process who had just walked in.

He seems to shake his head a little as he’s talking on the phone. “Yes ... Yes okay, thank you.”

It’s not so much Wonwoo’s conversation (since he really has no idea what that’s about) that troubles Mingyu— but Wonwoo’s expression and mannerisms as he’s speaking on the phone that causes a pit to form in his stomach.

His shoulders are stiff while pacing, and the way he moves is sharp and tense as though he can’t relax. Also, his expression is fairly dark and troubled— in short, it’s nothing that he’s quite seen before on Wonwoo.

“I will, okay ... Okay. Yes, thank you for telling me,” Wonwoo responds, and this time with some finality before hanging up.

The two stand there in silence for a while staring at one another, and Mingyu can’t quite form the right words to leave his lips at the moment. He wants to ask what happened, or what’s wrong, but something about the way Wonwoo was on the phone make the words lodge up in his throat.

Wonwoo’s lower lip trembles slightly as they stand there looking at one another. Mingyu opens his mouth to say something — but before he can get a single word out, Wonwoo is moving past him.

“I’m gonna go for a walk,” he whispers, voice barely audible.

“O-oh. Um, okay, just—” The loud click of the door resounds around him, and he’s left in the company of silence in the empty apartment. Mingyu wanted to tell him to grab his scarf, because it’s really cold out— but all Wonwoo ended up walking out with was his flimsy jacket and nothing else.

Mingyu isn’t sure how long Wonwoo’s ‘walk’ is supposed to last, and he can’t very well text him to make sure he’s okay since the idiot left his phone back at the apartment, but after 30 minutes he’s genuinely worried.

He probably shouldn’t have let Wonwoo walk out looking like that in the first place. Fuck. What was he even thinking?

Mingyu throws on some warm clothing before rushing out with Wonwoo’s hat, mittens, and scarf in hand. He really hopes he’s at a McDonalds or Tim Horton’s or something, unharmed, and not freezing himself out in the cold night.

As soon as he steps outside into the flurry of the snowing street, something in his gut tells him to round the apartment rather than travel down the main road from the front door.

Maybe it’s because he vaguely remembers Wonwoo telling him that he enjoyed going to the pathways at the back of the apartment — because it was a way to “escape the concrete madness that was the city,” Wonwoo’s words, not his.

Well, his Wonwoo radar must have gotten really good, because as soon as he rounds the corner Mingyu immediately sees him on the first bench that lines the pathway.

He approaches the bench carefully and eventually looms over him. “Hey.”

Wonwoo doesn’t look up at him, and only turns his head away. Mingyu sighs and dusts off the snow from the bench and sits down next to him, leaving considerable room between them.

In the midst of the dark trails and lurking trees, the flurry of snowfall is brightest within the circle of lamppost light beside the bench. Mingyu thinks the illuminated flakes almost look like thousands of buzzing moths wildly circling the light.

He slowly turns to look at Wonwoo now, who remains turned away from him. Mingyu watches his figure carefully and notices the way his shoulders are shaking. For a wild second he thinks Wonwoo is crying, until he quickly realizes that he’s shaking from the cold.

Wonwoo’s bare hands that clutch the edge of the bench have gone red from the freezing temperatures. Mingyu sighs heavily before leaning forward and carefully wrapping a scarf around Wonwoo. Slowly, Wonwoo lets himself face the front again and Mingyu stares at his side profile. His cheeks and nose are flushed red, and his lips still have their colour, which he figures are good signs. But his teeth are chattering as his shoulders shake and shiver from the cold.

Mingyu brushes away all the snow that had speckled Wonwoo’s dark black hair before placing the hat he brought over his head, making sure to cover his ears and keep them snug.

Mingyu leans forward and gently unfurls both of Wonwoo’s ice-cold hands from the bench. This gesture finally gets Wonwoo to turn his body and face him. From the dim light of the lamppost, Mingyu can see how red-rimmed his eyes are— as though he’d been crying. His cheeks are blotchy too, though that might just be from the cold. It’s hard to tell.

Mingyu softly rubs Wonwoo’s hands between his, hoping to warm him up. He places the mittens he brought, over his long thin fingers.

“Hey Wonwoo,” Mingyu says carefully. He wants to ask what happened, what that phone call was about, and so many other things— but he knows now is not the time. “Let’s go inside and get you warmed up yeah?” he whispers.

Wonwoo only incoherently shakes his head, and Mingyu doesn’t know what he’s trying to say. He sighs, pulling Wonwoo closer to him and secures a hold against his back.

Wonwoo looks up at him with these sad sort of eyes, and the longer Mingyu stares into them, the more he feels his heart crack. He realizes in this moment that he hates this look on Wonwoo so much. Not because he doesn’t want to deal with Wonwoo when he’s like this, or that he’s scared of it or anything (ok, so maybe he is a little scared), but mainly because he wishes he knew what was hurting Wonwoo and that he could just make it go away .

He wishes he could rid this universe of every single thing that could hurt Wonwoo or make him this sad. He wishes he could act like a shield and protect him from all the bad. He knows that Wonwoo is an independent adult and that he’s completely ‘capable of taking care of himself’ (as Wonwoo would like to say), but in this exact moment that’s completely wrong. Wonwoo is like a glass waiting to shatter. And Mingyu feels like he needs every bit of paper, padding, and bubble wrap, to keep him in one piece.

“M-Mingyu,” Wonwoo says for the first time since coming out here, his voice cracking slightly.

“Yeah?” he gazes at Wonwoo with full attention now.

Wonwoo opens his mouth, as if to say something, but he seems to lose the will part way and just ends up closing his lips again and shaking his head. He looks like he’s about to move away in a sad sort of defeat but Mingyu’s fingers tighten against the fabric of his jacket and he brings Wonwoo closer. They stay like that for many seconds, their breaths quietly mingling.

“It’s okay, you can tell me later,” Mingyu finally whispers, and closes that tiny gap between them, pulling him into an embrace.

Mingyu realizes that this is his first time hugging Wonwoo, or frankly even being this close to him. When his arms wrap around his thin body, a part of him thinks he can snap Wonwoo in two if he wanted. Another part of him thinks there’s barely anything for him to securely hold because Wonwoo is just so thin and is going to simply get buried in his bulky arms and stature.

Wonwoo doesn’t hug him back, but he does bury his face into Mingyu’s winter coat while shivering. Mingyu hates the way he can faintly feel the trembling against him, so he only clutches him tighter, wondering if that would help transfer his body heat over. “Come on Wonwoo, let’s go inside... please? You’re so cold,” he gently coaxes.

“Okay,” Wonwoo finally responds.

They slowly begin trudging back to the apartment, and Wonwoo’s hand remains secure in his. For some reason, he feels like if they moved apart even slightly, he’d lose Wonwoo in the flurry of the winter night.

. 　　　 ✧    　　 　 .
　　     　　
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　　 　　　　 ✹  　 　 ˚ 　
✷  　 　　　　  　 　　　
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Chapter Text

Back in the apartment, Mingyu wraps Wonwoo in every warm blanket and hot pack he can find and presses hot chocolate into his hands. Wonwoo’s shivering eventually lessens as he’s sipping on his hot chocolate.

They haven’t really exchanged any words since they were outside. Eventually, Mingyu settles down beside him on the couch, tired. He feels exhausted from his afternoon working, then skating with Junhui, and now this.

“Sorry,” Wonwoo whispers, being the first to break the silence. “I kind of overreacted.”

“Don’t say that you overreacted if I don’t even know what it was that made you so upset.” Mingyu gently smiles at him. “I mean, you’re not the type of person to just do that you know?”

“You think?” Wonwoo laughs, though it sounds bleak.

Mingyu finds it a little ridiculous that Wonwoo would even think of himself capable of such a thing. Wonwoo who would silently bear anything, even if he needed help; Wonwoo who would hide all his burdens behind his calm face as he’d done since he was a kid; Wonwoo overreacting? Yeah right.

“From what I’ve seen, yes.”

Wonwoo quietly takes another sip of his hot chocolate.

“You can tell me you know?” Mingyu tries again.

He feels Wonwoo look at him with cautious eyes before sighing, and the guards that had been planted firmly around him finally seem to retreat a little. “It’s my dad.”

“What happened to him?” Mingyu asks, trying to lessen the nervous shake in his voice. He doesn’t want to throw Wonwoo into another state of panic. Whenever bad things happen, Mingyu tends to freak out slightly— whether it involves him or not. This would probably be one of those things.

“He was arrested,” Wonwoo answers, voice barely above a whisper now.

When Mingyu is unable to respond, Wonwoo just shakes his head. “For possession of illegal substances. Some hard drugs.”

Wonwoo’s hands are shaking slightly, creating a tremor in the sweet chocolaty liquid he’s holding, so Mingyu leans over to pry the mug away from his hands and sets it on the coffee table beside them.

“The last time I saw him was... about two years ago. He was staying with my grandparents and...” Wonwoo ruffles his hair, breathing heavily, and Mingyu can tell he’s trying to suppress his tears.

“Did you two talk then?” he asks.

“Barely,” Wonwoo squeezes his eyes shut. “I mean we were supposed to talk. But. I just...” His voice cracks slightly and Mingyu places an arm around his shoulder sort of as an encouragement to continue talking. “I kind of ran out when we were starting our conversation. Seeing him just made me...” Wonwoo trails off.

“Just made you what?”

“Like. I-I was just starting to get better— you know, because I was taking my um, therapy sessions then.” Wonwoo’s voice shakes, and there’s a brief pause before he parts his lips again. “A-and seeing him was just... it made all the really terrible memories from when I was younger come back. I actually used to visit him frequently in middle school you know? And then I just stopped. I couldn’t take it anymore, seeing him like that.”

Wonwoo takes in a sharp breath. “B-but I thought I’d gotten stronger. Better at handling myself. So two years ago, I finally decided to see him again for the first time since middle school. Clearly didn’t end well, did it?” Wonwoo shakes his head and stares at his lap.

Mingyu can’t quite read the emotions in his eyes at the moment. There’s sadness, and anger lurks somewhere in between as well— but guilt and regret also twist through the droops of his lips.

“Wonwoo,” Mingyu whispers, pulling him close enough that their legs brush. “That’s perfectly understandable.”

“Y-you know. Before I saw him, my grandparents said he’d been getting better. That he’d been seeing a doctor to help with his depression and drinking issue... and I thought that, t-that… I’d hate him less if I saw him.” Wonwoo chokes out, and his voice is deep and raspy with emotion. “But I didn’t. I was still angry. And bitter.”

His hand tightens against his jeans, clenching his fist against the fabric. “And the thing is. I still am.”

Mingyu slowly unfurls Wonwoo’s fingers from his jeans and absentmindedly rubs his wrist between his thumb and forefinger.

“It’s alright to think that.” He says, voice barely above a whisper. “I really don’t think it’s wrong for you to feel that way.”

A stretch of silence hangs onto the air long after his words until Wonwoo hesitantly lifts his head to look up at Mingyu, and speaks. “I need to go see him.”

Wonwoo’s gaze on Mingyu wavers, and his lips tighten like there’s something more he wants to say, but is holding himself back from doing so.

And Mingyu instantly gets it.

“Of course I’ll go with you,” he assures Wonwoo. Do you even need to ask?”

Mingyu is aware that he had been neglecting his main duties for the past couple of days, but finding Wonwoo’s soulmate could wait for now. Wonwoo’s situation with his dad at the moment was more important.  

“Thank you.” His shoulders seem to drop in relief, and he lets out a slow exhale.

“Do you have an idea when you want to go?” Mingyu asks.

Wonwoo thinks for a moment before answering. “Next Friday, I have that day off, as well as the weekend following due to Christmas. You?”

“That works for me. I’m not working the entire coming week.”

“Okay. Thanks,” he repeats.

“You don’t need to keep thanking me, I’m telling you,” Mingyu smiles and pats his shoulders in a way he hopes is reassuring. After a moment of silence he asks, “Um, so where is the...” His voice trails off, his mouth refusing to say ‘prison’.

Wonwoo seems to immediately understand what he’s getting at though. “Do you remember that I had to move to a tiny town in the countryside with my aunt and uncle during middle school?” he asks Mingyu. “That was when my dad was living in the city, and child services took me away.”

“It’s there ?”

“Yeah,” Wonwoo responds, nodding nervously. “He’d been living with my grandparents there. They didn’t want to send him to a big city prison.”

“I see,” Mingyu murmurs recalling Wonwoo’s memories from middle school. “Funny thing, that town... I never mentioned it to you...”

“Wait, mention what?”

“I’ve been there. Multiple times,” Mingyu informs him, leaning against the armrest of the couch. Exhaustion was creeping through his limbs from this heavy and eventful day.

“What?” Wonwoo’s eyes widen surprise.

“Before I was even assigned this official position,” Mingyu shrugs. “During our studies and training maybe one or two years ago, we were allowed to go to earth sometimes. That place was my favourite. It was also a gate.”

Wonwoo’s surprise turns into puzzlement now, and he furrows his eyebrows into thought. “A gate?”

“Did I ever tell you how you get from my home to Earth?”                     

“No,” he responds with a shake of his head.

Mingyu smiles. “If we have time on the trip, I’ll show you. Anyway, that place is too far for me to try and get us there so...”

“Train then?” Wonwoo suggests all too quickly, fiddling with the sleeves of his sweater like he always does, especially when he gets nervous.

“Yeah... train works I guess,” Mingyu murmurs, lost in thought. Wonwoo’s expression and sudden nervousness confuses him. Train? Didn’t Soonyoung and Jihoon have cars though? Last time Mingyu checked, they seemed like supportive friends. Even if they didn’t come along, surely they wouldn’t mind Wonwoo borrowing their car for one weekend.

He’s about to open his mouth and ask this when Wonwoo abruptly gets up. “Ok well that’s settled! Thanks Mingyu.” Wonwoo quickly turns around to go to his room.

“W-wait. Stop.” Mingyu frowns and pauses. “...Shouldn’t you tell your friends?  At least Jihoon and Soonyoung? About this I mean." 

Wonwoo slowly turns to face him again. “I will tell them.”

“You’ll tell them before we go though right? I mean, they could definitely help with the transportation.”

Wonwoo’s expression falters at that. “Mingyu, please just...”

Mingyu doesn’t understand Wonwoo sometimes, and this is one of those moments.

“Don’t you think you should immediately tell them something important like this?”

Wonwoo stares at the ground, fidgeting with the sleeves of his sweater again. “You don’t understand.”

“Yeah. I don’t ,” he says, words coming out harsher than he intended, and it makes Wonwoo flinch.

There's a long pause of silence before Wonwoo finally speaks.

“Jihoon is in the middle of working on his super important demo,” he quietly starts, seeming to regain his composure a little. “This could get him entry into the label of his dreams. Soonyoung’s planning his annual Christmas performance with his dance crew. He gets really stressed during this time of year because it’s really important to him and—”

“No stop,” Mingyu cuts him off. “So those things are important to them... but so are you okay? You’re important to them.”

“That doesn’t mean I want to burden them with my problems!” he bites back.

“Wonwoo they’re your friends. Your best friends!” Mingyu sighs heavily, his hands clenched at his sides, and his voice already several volumes higher. “Your problems are their problems. You care so much about them, but don’t you think they’re the same? Friendship is a two way street. And stop always saying that! Stop talking about yourself like a burden. You’re not. Your problems are just as important as anyone else’s!”

Mingyu's chest heaves slightly, and he only realizes now that he’d been almost yelling. He didn’t realize that he could get this worked up over somebody else’s words. But no... this wasn’t just anyone; this was Wonwoo, and for some reason, he had that effect on Mingyu.

Wonwoo stares at him dumbfounded for a second or two. His eyes drop back to the ground and refuse to meet his. “Okay I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound like that.”

“Then what did you mean?” Mingyu asks with his voice levelled again.

“I... I’m not saying I’ll never tell them,” Wonwoo says slowly, still staring at the patterned carpet as if it was so interesting. “It’s just for this week. Look I know Soonyoung and Jihoon alright? They’ll insist that they want to come along with me, even in the middle of all their work and with all their most important deadlines coming up. I’m trying to look at the big picture here... at what actually matters in the long run. I don’t see this visit to my dad as big of a deal as Jihoon’s demo or Soonyoung’s performance.”

“But it is important though,” Mingyu answers quietly. “You haven’t seen him since that time you ran out, two years ago. And now that you are, it’s in this kind of situation. It messed you so much last time you saw him… how can you say that it’s not important?”

“I- I guess,” Wonwoo’s voice shakes slightly. "But it’s not as if I’m going alone.”

“If I wasn’t here, would you go alone?”

Wonwoo doesn’t respond at that and only looks away, eyes faltering at his question. That gives the answer away and Mingyu’s heart sinks just a little.

He steps closer to Wonwoo and gently tilts his face up because he keeps avoiding Mingyu’s eyes— maybe out of embarrassment of this situation, or maybe because Mingyu got a little mad at him earlier. He can’t stop a sigh from escaping his lips.  “What am I supposed to do with you Wonwoo?”

He looks back at him with a hardened stare, having gained control over his emotions by now. “You’re not telling them right?” is all he asks.

Mingyu sighs again. “Whatever you want.”

***

Mingyu keeps his word and a week later, on Christmas Eve, they’re boarding the train together.

Wonwoo really can’t stop the knots tying themselves over and over into the pit of his stomach. This isn’t how he expected to be spending Christmas Eve a couple weeks ago.

He immediately turns down the food trolley when it passes by. When he’s this anxious and nervous, he simply can’t touch food without feeling like he’s going to throw up.

Mingyu shoots him a worried look. “You’re not gonna eat? You didn’t have breakfast either.”

“I’m good. Not hungry,” Wonwoo shakes his head.

Mingyu doesn’t try to get him to eat, and instead just hands him a water bottle. “If you’re not going to eat anything, at least drink water.”

Wonwoo silently takes the bottle. They’re sitting across from each other and don’t really talk majority of the ride, which allows him to think a little.

This whole week Mingyu had been treating him like some fragile child that needed to be taken care of. He keeps making Wonwoo breakfast and bringing it to his room in the morning. It’s like he doesn’t even expect Wonwoo to help make food anymore and has everything perfectly prepared and ready for him. Wonwoo also receives a whole lot of pats on the head, gentle smiles and compliments. The whole situation has been driving him up a wall if he were to be perfectly honest. Why couldn’t Mingyu just treat him like normal?

Wonwoo frowns slightly as he unscrews the water bottle lid. Mingyu is yet again, for the ten billionth time, giving him a soft glance full of worry as if he thinks Wonwoo is going to fall apart right then and there on the train.

He wishes Mingyu would cut it out, and has this urge to smack his face away— but then again, he also kind of wants to kiss him at the same time.

Wonwoo nearly spits out his drink.

What was that ? What did he just think?

He must look really panicked now because Mingyu suddenly seems worried. “What’s wrong?” he immediately asks, shooting up from his seat to stand in front of him.

“Nothing. It’s fine,” he says between coughs.

“Alright...” Mingyu says, not looking entirely convinced. “We’ll be arriving in 5 minutes. Then it’s a short walk from the station.”

“Ok,” he says as calmly as he can muster. Great. Now he’s getting a really wonderful image of Mingyu and he’s screaming at his mind to stop.

These kinds of thoughts are just added fuel to his already unstable state. And right now is really not the time and place to question himself and his feelings towards Mingyu. And so, he does his best to clear his head as they get off the train and make their way towards their destination.

Wonwoo gulps heavily as they walk into the empty cement room. His legs are shaking as he sits down on the metal folded chair across from his father, or as Wonwoo prefers calling him, Gwangjin. The only thing separating them is a glass window with little holes in it, made so the two sides could hear each other. Mingyu silently sits down on the chair next to his.

The man looking back at him is gaunt and hardly recognizable. His greying hair is a twisted mess of a nest on his head, and it really looks like it needs a wash. He clearly hasn’t shaved for a while, and his eyes are sunken into their pits. His orange prison uniform hangs loosely on his thin stature.

Gwangjin doesn’t look at him for a couple seconds, but when he finally does, Wonwoo realizes that he might as well be here in front of this window, talking to a stranger.

“You came,” Gwangjin lets out in a gruff voice, and even calling this man his ‘father’ sounds out of place in his head... maybe that’s why Wonwoo has grown used to simply referring to him by his name.

“Y-yes...” Wonwoo stammers. He’s aware that his fingertips are lightly trembling and he wishes he could make them stop.

Gwangjin lets out a harsh chuckle, and something empty and twisted gets caught in the sound. “Didn’t think you would.”

Wonwoo nearly winces. He wonders if this is a jab at him for refusing to see or talk to him for the past two years.

And then he feels anger quietly bubbling up his throat for even feeling guilty over this pathetic person in front of him.

“What were you thinking?” Wonwoo asks in a hushed voice after a long stretch of silence. The frustration that had already been brewing away in his chest begins to rise further and further until he’s clenching his fists. “Didn't you think for even a second that you had to get better and overturn your old ways? Instead you wind up in here?”

His eyes bore holes into his lap and the silence around him is suffocating.

“What about Grandma and Grandpa huh?” Wonwoo speaks again, looking back up now with his voice several volumes higher. “They’ve had to worry over you this whole time. Are you ever going to give them a break?!”

He’s fairly certain that he’s yelling by now and can’t stop. Gwangjin only looks at him with a blank tired look, and when Wonwoo searches his eyes, it strikes him that there’s absolutely nothing in them. It’s as though the man he’s facing is simply an empty hollow shell.

And suddenly Wonwoo feels like he’s being flung into the past. The years of terrible memories come flooding back.

Gwangjin’s empty stares whenever Wonwoo tried to show him the perfect scores he received on his assignments; Gwangjin’s retreating back whenever he left Wonwoo alone at night without a second glance; Gwangjin’s absence among the nameless faces of adults at school events who clicked their cameras and gave their children proud smiles as Wonwoo awkwardly stood there, not knowing who to look at… all of it comes back to him.

And he knows that absolutely nothing has changed. He may be a whole lot older, but even now, a childish part of him still wants his father to actually look at him. Acknowledge him. 

And yet again, all he receives is the same blank stare, the same apathetic look that he's had to live with all these years.

The same look which tells Wonwoo that Gwangjin doesn’t care about him whatsoever. He never had. He never will.

And that thought alone is enough for a few droplets of tears to escape from the corners of his eyes.

Gwangjin’s face remains as cold and distant as ever. He doesn’t say anything for a while and all that can be heard is Wonwoo furiously trying to wipe his face.

“Who is he?” Gwangjin finally asks, tone as gruff as ever, head nodding to Wonwoo’s left.

Wonwoo drops his hands from his face and turns to look at Mingyu who’s still sitting beside him silently. He had forgotten Mingyu was even here.

Mingyu now looks at him with eyes full of worry. Wonwoo turns back to Gwangjin, tempted to spit out, ‘what’s it to you?’. Instead he quietly responds, “Just a friend.”

“Wonwoo,” Gwangjin says, and he nearly gives himself a whiplash at the sound of his name. It had been what, 11 years since he last heard that name coming from this man?

“You can’t lie so easily to me like that. You know I’ve worked around them long enough to know what he is.” Gwangjin chuckles humourlessly before offhandedly mumbling, “though there’s something off about this one.”

Wonwoo’s mouth goes dry. He knows. Of course he knows.

“Did something happen regarding your soulmate?” Gwangjin asks calmly.

And now Wonwoo really can’t take this anymore. He stands up so forcefully his chair collapses behind him with a thud.

“Why the fuck do you think you have any right asking me that?” Wonwoo spits out, voice becoming shrill. “You didn’t care all these years about me. You’ve ignored me ever since mom died! You ignored me all the times I visited you during middle school, and now you want to know about my problems?!” Wonwoo’s chest heaves and he feels a little hysterical screaming in this tiny square cement room at someone so unresponsive.

Gwangjin continues looking at him with his empty, expressionless face, and it hits Wonwoo that this is one thing similar about the two of them.

He whirls around and shoves the metal door to exit the room. He’s walking so fast and doesn’t even know where he’s going. He turns corner after corner and feels like something inside him is snapping like a rubber band that’s been pulled too taut.

Eventually, he somehow ends up outside, biting out profanities while kicking at shrubs of winterberries.

Wonwoo would never label himself a violent person. In fact he sometimes wished he was more aggressive — maybe it would have kept those boys from picking on him back in high school — but in this moment he’s so angry that he doesn’t know what to do but let his boots kick the snow and berries into the air.

“You’re hurting the plants,” A gentle, scratchy voice behind him says.

He stops with his boot in midair and slowly lowers his foot before looking over his shoulder. Mingyu is standing a couple feet away, and only now does he realize that snow had begun lightly falling. Wonwoo turns back to blankly stare at the bright red berries and dark broken branches scattered before him. They stand out starkly against the blinding white blanket of snow.

His heaving chest finally begins to slow down.

He crouches down and picks up a branch with a couple fiery red berries. “Sorry plant,” he mumbles. He shouldn’t have taken out his wrath on the poor berry bush that was probably food for animals around here.

He feels something drape over his shoulders, and when he glances up, Mingyu is crouched down beside him placing a jacket over him. Wonwoo must have left it behind in the visitor’s room in the midst of his fury. So that’s why he felt like an ice cube.

“You’re really trying to freeze yourself this week huh?” Mingyu teases, but his eyes look sad.

He remains silent as Mingyu leans over to smooth away his mess of hair. Mingyu’s face is so close that he can feel warm puffs of breath on his cheeks.

Wonwoo feels too embarrassed to look at him, so he remains transfixed on the way the falling flakes stick onto Mingyu’s long lashes.

How many outbursts can he have in a week? God, he’s such a mess.

The world around them is so silent, it almost feels like they’re trapped in a blinding bright and empty universe where nothing but the two of them exists.

When Mingyu leans back away from Wonwoo, he takes his warmth with him, and the illusion shatters. And Wonwoo really can’t deal with that— so before he can question himself, and even think about what the hell he’s doing, he leans back into Mingyu's space, and warmth, and gently presses their lips together.

The world turns silent once again.

It can hardly count as a kiss, and it only lasts a couple seconds, but it makes the ringing in Wonwoo’s head stop. Suddenly, the only thought in his scattered, messy mind is that Mingyu’s lips are warm despite the icy air around them.

When he pulls back and pries his eyes open, Mingyu is staring at him in stunned silence. His lips are parted slightly and remain frozen like that. The darkening red on his cheeks might not just be from the cold now.

Wonwoo expects himself to freak out, because well, what on earth did he just do? But instead of that, there’s this uncharacteristic calmness washing over him. His heart beats slow and steady, and his mind is oddly void of any thoughts.

“Sorry,” he says, being the first to break the silence. Wonwoo almost wants to laugh. That’s really the first word that came into his head after kissing Mingyu.   

Mingyu’s lips seem like they take a while to work again. He finally stammers out, “Oh, um okay, guh... what?”

“Just forget that happened,” Wonwoo says, and he has no clue why he feels so calm. Shouldn’t he be freaking out right now? He slowly gets up brushing off the snow on his jeans. “I only did that because...”

Wonwoo’s voice trails off. Yeah, why did he do that? And without any warning too...

He forms his words carefully again. “You don’t need to think about it if it’ll bother you. I’m sorry.”  

For a second he’s afraid that Mingyu is angry, but when he takes a glance, he only has this bewildered and confused look in his eyes. Wonwoo looks away again.

There’s a long pause between them, and from his peripherals he can tell Mingyu is watching him carefully. “W-why did you—”

Wonwoo cuts in before Mingyu can complete his sentence. “I was sad.” Wonwoo’s voice wavers, and he furrows his eyebrows, unsure of his own words now.

“...What?”

Wonwoo turns to look at Mingyu who’s still on the snowy ground, staring up at him.

Silence stretches across them again and snow keeps fluttering down.                     

“You...” And although his mind feels lost right now, his heart is still calm and the honest words come out on their own, “You make me happy.”  

Wonwoo doesn’t want to look at Mingyu’s face any longer— he’s too much of a coward to do that— so with that, he turns around and begins walking.

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Chapter Text

It takes Mingyu a good 5 seconds to start moving again. Wonwoo is already ways ahead of him, walking down a straight pathway that leads into the town.

Mingyu wants to look at the expression on Wonwoo’s face, but at the same time he isn’t quite sure what to say to him, so he settles for trailing a couple meters behind. He watches the way Wonwoo’s back moves forward so calmly. Everything seems so distant from him— like he’s in a daze of some sort.

They walk like that for a couple minutes as the falling snow begins to thin away. He knows he should ask Wonwoo where they’re going, because hell, he has no idea.  

Moreover, he’s still trying to make sense of what just happened. Jeon Wonwoo kissed him? Straight on the lips?

Now that his heart is finally beginning to calm down—it had been thrumming painfully loud until now— a strange realization dawns upon him.

That was his first kiss.

He squints at Wonwoo’s back in confusion. Kim Mingyu was a 20 year old vesper... why in the galaxies had he never kissed anyone prior to this anyway?

But now that he was pondering over this topic, Mingyu makes yet another equally absurd realization. Vespers didn’t even date anyone, did they? In his 20 years of living, Mingyu had never heard of or seen any couples, marriages, and so on. Those matters were all simply lumped into ‘earthly things’.

Why?

And why did he never question this until now? Maybe it was because he was too caught up in his studies until now to care, but it was still strange.

Wonwoo is about to cross a streetlight now, the little man flashing indicating that it’s good to go.

“Wonwoo!” Mingyu calls out before he can chicken out and get further buried into the mess of his thoughts. Wonwoo hesitates then stops, which gives Mingyu time to catch up to him.

The moment their eyes meet, all of Wonwoo’s words from minutes ago come crashing back down and Mingyu’s brain spins and it’s as though his thoughts are going through a blender.

He makes Wonwoo happy? What the hell was that supposed to mean? Happy how? And did this mean Wonwoo liked him, romantically ? Because why else would he kiss him? Maybe Mingyu was misunderstanding something here— but the look in Wonwoo’s eyes before he had turned away back there was so...

In fact, it’s the same look he’s wearing right now.

“What?” Wonwoo asks him, voice as quiet as the falling flakes around them.

Suddenly Mingyu finds that the sandwich he had on the train is really not agreeing with his stomach.

“W-where are we going?” is all he can stammer out in the end.

“I just wanted to go to that café,” Wonwoo says, pointing across the road. “Get tea or something.”

“Oh.”

“Sorry, do you not want to go?”

“N-no, it’s fine. I mean, it’s fine going there!” Mingyu’s voice sounds high pitched and nervous even to himself. He wants to groan and face-plant into the snow in frustration.

When they cross the road and enter the café, Wonwoo immediately buys a cup of green tea and settles down across from Mingyu, head turned down to look at his phone.

They sit in silence for longer than usual and Mingyu kind of wishes Wonwoo would just speak . The man was always naturally quiet, and Mingyu typically didn’t mind it, but right now he really didn’t want to get sucked back into the black hole of his mind. Plus, the stifling air that had abruptly surfaced between them was weighing down on his lungs and he really needed to divert himself from the issue at hand.  

“We missed the last train going back,” Wonwoo suddenly announces, reading from the glow of his phone screen. “I didn’t realize it until now because I wasn’t checking the right schedule. It’s Christmas eve.”

“Oh...” Mingyu raises his eyebrows, immediately distracted from the awkward air between them from just moments ago, and he frowns in thought. “Does that mean we need a place to stay for this night?”

“Not just this night. Two nights. There are no trains running at all tomorrow.”

“Right. Christmas Day.” Mingyu silently curses to himself that he only packed one extra pair of clothes in case of an emergency. It was probably the same case for Wonwoo because he just sighs into his chair and slumps his shoulders back, looking worn out.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Mingyu tries to reassure him. “Don’t your grandparents live here? Or your aunt and uncle.”

“My aunt and uncle moved to the city a couple years ago. And my grandparents... we can’t stay there,” Wonwoo quickly says and Mingyu closes his mouth. “They’d be able to tell you’re... you know.”

“They would?” Mingyu squints in question.

“Yeah.” Wonwoo looks out the large windows of the café and avoids his eyes. “They’ve worked with my dad quite a few times before. And I’m not in the mood to be questioned by them right now.”

“Okay, well there’s a small inn a little bit up the road. How about we stay there?”

Wonwoo gives him a strange look and Mingyu quickly says, “Hey I told you, I’ve been here quite a few times.”

“Oh... well that works I guess.”

There’s more silence following, and Wonwoo continues gazing out the café. “I hate this town,” he suddenly mutters and there’s a bitter smile on his face when he takes another sip of his cup of green tea.

Mingyu watches from the windows as a couple of kids chase one another down the sidewalk outside, hurling snowballs at each other, their carefree laughter and screams faintly echoing, even from inside. On the other side of the street, a couple seems to be taking a walk, their hands swinging between them and smiles on their rosy faces from the chilling wind.

“It’s a peaceful place though,” Mingyu says quietly.

“It’s suffocating.”

He raises his eyebrows at Wonwoo. Mingyu’s never heard him sound so harsh and opinionated about something so seemingly simple. But maybe it wasn’t so simple.

“Was school really bad here?” he asks with curiosity. The memories he had seen of Wonwoo in this place were blurry or rushed, likely because of his situation with his father— so Mingyu couldn’t really draw too many conclusions from them.

“Not really. I mean, it was better than the first 3 years of high school at least,” Wonwoo shrugs.

“Then why do you hate it so much here?”

A distant, glazed over look comes into Wonwoo’s eyes as he absentmindedly shrugs. “I dunno...” his voice trails off. He looks really troubled all of a sudden, like he’s battling thoughts in his head.

Mingyu decides not to press the topic any further and only smiles. “It’s okay, you don’t need to explain.”

Eventually Mingyu is sitting alone in the inn they had checked into. Wonwoo had left to go visit his grandparents on his own.

Now he's alone.

And if he’s alone, that means his disruptive and confusing thoughts will return as well.

He lays his head on the bed closest to the window and squeezes his eyes shut. A frown grows across his lips when he thinks back to the interaction with the lady at the front desk when they were checking into the inn.

“You want two beds?” She had asked them with a puzzled expression. It was painfully obvious that she thought they were a couple or something. It may or may not have been because of the way they were bickering about the payment for the inn right beforehand.

In fact, a lot of people apparently seemed to get such an impression from the two of them, and in lieu Mingyu feels like he needs a megaphone to yell out the fact that ‘No! Jeon Wonwoo is not his boyfriend!'

Suddenly, there’s a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach when he thinks about that word.

Boyfriend .

This was pretty bad. He didn’t want to think about anything like that. And he most definitely didn’t want to think about his supposed kiss with Wonwoo. In fact, that should have never happened.

Jeon Wonwoo already had a soulmate. Someone out there, another human, destined to be with him. And it was Mingyu’s task to find them (even if he had been doing a shitty job of it so far). There was absolutely no room for him between those strict lines.

But it was the feeling in his chest when Wonwoo’s lips moved off of his that worried Mingyu the most. That almost longing and unintentional pull urging him to get closer to Wonwoo, breathe the same air as him.

Something was seriously wrong with him.

Mingyu thinks back to what Minghao had told him. He’d really doubted it at first, but now he’s beginning to understand exactly what he meant. So maybe he had been developing this minuscule crush on Wonwoo.

But maybe that was just because Wonwoo was the only person in his life that had been this intimate with Mingyu right? And he was a good-looking guy and all, so that probably helped move things along.

Yes, that’s right. That’s all it is.

As far as Mingyu is concerned, his foreign emotions were fleeting in the eyes of the universe, and would soon flicker out like a waning candle.

But for now, it was best to just treat Wonwoo as he always did, and pretend nothing happened. Hopefully that would minimize any awkwardness between them. After all, isn’t that what Wonwoo wanted when he said Mingyu could just forget about it?

Soon all these mixed thoughts and feelings would essentially be as if they never existed in the first place. Once Mingyu finished his task, it’s not as if he needed to see Wonwoo again, so he could easily distance himself. It should be easy, right?

Mingyu’s breathing gradually slows down, having convinced himself that everything was fine— nothing was ruined.

He doesn’t have time to worry longer about this whole situation because at that moment the door creaks open and Wonwoo enters, cheeks bitten pink from the frosty winds outside.

***

Wonwoo opens the door to their inn room and wordlessly slips off his boots, scattering a dust of snow at the entrance, and collapses onto the bed that’s empty.

He can feel Mingyu’s gaze on him as he plops down.

“How did it go?” Mingyu asks him, referring to his visit.

Wonwoo goes silent for a while, thinking about how to answer him.

His visit with his grandparents had gone as he expected. They didn’t really bring up Gwangjin as if to avoid the topic so they could maintain the façade a little longer. It was almost as though they could pretend there was no glaring problem sitting between all of them right now. In fact, that’s how it had always been. Whenever Wonwoo asked over the phone how Gwangjin was doing (which wasn’t very often, maybe once a year), they would simply say “alright”. Wonwoo didn’t know if alright actually meant alright, but he honestly couldn’t bring himself to care. He only asked out of courtesy and occasional guilt.

Wonwoo tilts his head up to meet Mingyu’s eyes. There’s this palpable tension hanging between them ever since this morning, and he wants nothing more than to make it disappear.

Why the hell did he even think that was okay to do? Wonwoo kind of wants to smack himself for it, and scream with frustration into a pillow.

“It was just like usual,” he shrugs, trying to put away his emotions for now just to have a proper, normal , conversation with Mingyu— one that did not involve their ever growing, confusing relationship.

“We barely even discussed... the um, situation ,” Wonwoo adds. “I don’t think they want to talk about it right now.”

“Is that a good thing or bad thing?”

“Honestly... both,” he sighs.  “Like yeah, I don’t really want to talk about him either. But at the same time it just feels like we’re pushing back the inevitable, you get what I’m saying?”

Mingyu hums in response, his back facing Wonwoo so that he’s looking out the frosted window.

“Hey...” Mingyu slowly says. “Do you want to do something to take your mind off of things? It’s Christmas eve after all.”

Wonwoo stifles a laugh. “If that’s even possible...”

“It’ll be fun.”

“Whatever you want is fine for me,” is all Wonwoo says with a shrug, staring at the faint cracks on the ceiling.

When Wonwoo glances over, he sees Mingyu looking over his shoulder at him with a grin. “Okay hang on, I’ll just need to wear something warmer to wear,” he murmurs, rummaging through his backpack.

Wonwoo peers at him cautiously. It’s warm enough inside so he doesn’t see why Mingyu would need to wear something over his black turtleneck, before it dawns on him. “Wait, is this um, activity, outside?”

“Yes,” he responds as he pulls over a fleece sweater.

Wonwoo can only groan. “Mingyu, it’s freezing!”

“I know. So bundle up well. Trust me, it’ll be worth it.”

“Freezing my balls off doesn’t sound worth it for anything,” he mutters irritably, pulling his jacket and hat back over.

“Where’s your scarf?” Mingyu frowns as he’s throwing on his winter coat as well. (Sometimes Wonwoo wonders if Mingyu is his mother rather than just his vesper.)

“Pretty sure I forgot it when packing,” Wonwoo absentmindedly waves him off.

As soon as he says that, Mingyu walks up to him and takes off his own scarf to wrap around Wonwoo.

“N-no, you need t—”

“It’s fine,” he quickly cuts him off. “I’m a walking furnace remember? You on the other hand, are thin and cold.”

“Can you not say it like that?” he groans.

“It’s true,” Mingyu laughs lightly before smiling at him once again and tightening the scarf. Wonwoo feels heat rising to his face, and it’s like the air around him is gradually vanishing.

He can’t deal with this— Mingyu’s actions are always too caring, and the look in his eyes right now is too fond, there are so many warning flags going off in his head. Wonwoo already acted impulsively once today, and he definitely doesn’t want to add more fuel to the mess he had already created. With that in mind, he abruptly turns around and makes his way for the door, far too aware of Mingyu’s presence right behind his.

“Where are we going?”  He finally asks when they’re outside, the words settling between their silence.

The sky is clear tonight and the stars seem to shimmer in deep indigo. The stars feel closer than usual, almost as though they’re keeping a watchful eye on the two of them. Mingyu is leading the way now and Wonwoo carefully watches his back, waiting for a response.

“Well... are you going to answer my question?” he asks again when met with silence.

Mingyu’s back straightens, and he peeks over his shoulder to look at Wonwoo. “We’re going to my favourite place,” he says, and his eyes have an unusual twinkle to them.

Wonwoo doesn’t really know what to expect so he just closes his mouth to keep from asking more questions, and continues trudging through the snow.

“Woah!” Wonwoo cries out as his boots slip on an icy ridge of a tree root. Mingyu’s arm immediately shoots out and takes hold of his back before he stumbles down the steep uphill incline they’re on.

He's currently been led into the giant forested hill that rests on the outskirts of the town.

“It’s just a short hike,” Mingyu had assured him, and Wonwoo wanted to demand why the fuck they were freezing their asses off in the increasingly dark evening, hiking up a hill on Christmas Eve. However, he had held his tongue back and simply nodded.

Now both of them have their phone lights flicked on and Wonwoo swears this is the beginning of some creepy real life horror film. ‘Poor naïve boy led into forest where he is brutally murdered. His ghost still haunts the forest to this day!’ Yes, he can see it all playing out in his head.

And he would continue being anxious by those silly thoughts if it weren’t for Mingyu’s gloved hands securing a hold around his own.

The moment Mingyu reaches out for him, like he did that one time when they had gone grocery shopping, Wonwoo’s muscles immediately relax in a way that’s almost uncanny.

He knows Mingyu is just doing it so he doesn’t slip and crack his head open, or something along those lines, but even past all the bundled up layers of clothing, his heart persistently thuds at the gesture.

They hike a little longer, and the ground slowly levels itself.

A clearing is coming into view and they leave the trees behind, stepping out into the open. The snow is a white blanket stretching before them, unmarred by any footprints, trees, branches and bushes— and it glimmers ever so slightly in the light of the brilliantly round moon.

Wonwoo’s breath catches in his chest when he looks out from the clearing. They’re much higher up than he thought. In fact, they might be at the top of this hill.

He can’t help but admire the way the specks of city lights shimmer in the distance. The winter winds are heavier up here and his scarf blows around in the icy oncoming breeze.

“That’s the closest city,” he whispers out loud to no one in particular. He turns to look at Mingyu who’s staring out at the city lights as well.

There’s a strange feeling forming at the pit of his stomach as his eyes trail over to Mingyu’s side profile. Of course the side of his face is as handsome as the front, and if Wonwoo didn’t feel so weird right now he would admire the way the blue and silver streaks in Mingyu’s hair glint in the moonlight.

The more he stares at Mingyu, the stronger the feeling becomes, and he isn’t even sure what it is; it’s something like uneasiness... but then again, it’s more than that. This foreign, underlying emotion is making his heart squeeze uncomfortably, and Wonwoo feels like he’s missing something important here, but doesn’t quite know what it is.

He redirects his eyes back to the horizon.

“Nice view right?” Mingyu remarks, and he nods.

“Yeah it is....” Wonwoo murmurs. It was a nice view.

“Look up though.”  

He turns to give Mingyu a questioning look that’s returned with a knowing smile, and slowly Wonwoo tilts his head back, feeling the icy breeze attack his neck and trap his breath on his lips.

His eyes widen by the slightest fraction when he takes in the view of the night sky in its entirety.

The stars are brighter than ever, and there are thousands of them illuminating every inch of inky sky. The sheer number makes him feel like they’re spinning around him and he plants his feet more firmly into the snow.

“No light pollution out here unlike the city. And the sky was so clear today. That’s why I wanted to go out and see them,” Mingyu says, but his voice sounds so distant all of a sudden, like he’s talking from an entirely different planet.

The longer Wonwoo gazes up, craning his neck back as far as he can go, the lower the stars look, and it feels like they’re pressing down on him.

“Do you know what this spot is called?” Mingyu suddenly asks, his voice sounding almost like an echoe, and far away in Wonwoo’s thoughts.

His gaze shifts back to the earth and Mingyu stands a couple feet away, eyes trained on him.

“No...”

“It’s called stargazing hill,” Mingyu answers. “People come here pretty frequently in the summer. But the funny thing is, the nights you can see the most stars are clear winter nights like this one.”

Wonwoo wants to make a cheeky remark at how only crazy people like Mingyu would dare come here in the winter, but the words get lost somewhere in between his lips and throat.

He tips his head back to the sky, eyes trailing through the diagonal strip of hazy and dense cluster of stars. From what Wonwoo knew, the dense area of stars was the center of the Milky Way from the view of earth.

“Hey,” he can hear a nervous chuckle from Mingyu. “Why’re you so quiet? Say something.”

“Something.” Wonwoo retorts, but it comes out in measly whisper. He can almost hear Mingyu rolling his eyes at him.

“Can you spot any of the constellations?” he asks Wonwoo.

Without bringing his gaze back down he points up towards his right. “Okay well, that’s Leo.... and there’s the big dipper...”

“Beside it is the little dipper,” Mingyu adds, the tip of his forefinger meeting Wonwoo’s.

He glances over at him, and can’t help but smile because Mingyu’s eagerness to point out constellations with him was just, well... cute. Mingyu catches his action and returns the smile, except it’s way too affectionate and tender for Wonwoo to bear, and it makes his cheeks burn so he snaps his head back to the sky.

To distract himself, he quickly begins firing out more constellations he can recognize.

“Oh wow, I knew you were into astronomy but you can name more than I thought,” Mingyu remarks with a chuckle.

“I liked stargazing as a kid,” Wonwoo shrugs. “I used to have this book full of constellations,” he laughs, thinking back on that book.

That stupid book.

“You liked stargazing and you never came here?” Mingyu asks with an amused quirk of his eyebrow. “Stargazing hill? Hellooo?”

“I... I don't remember when exactly, but I stopped after a while,” he says and his voice immediately drops several volumes. The feeling of uneasiness in his chest was returning and he doesn’t want to have this conversation anymore.

“Oh,” Mingyu’s expression falters. He looks like he wants to know why, but doesn’t press any further.

Wonwoo decides to help Mingyu out for once. Just this once, because he’s sick of bottling things up in his head for so long and letting them chip away at him slowly.

“Like I said,” Wonwoo clears his throat nervously and Mingyu perks his head back up laughably fast. “I liked stargazing as a kid. It made me feel....” The words are trapped on the tip of his tongue.

Mingyu is looking at him expectantly though, waiting for him to continue, so he forces his mouth to move. “It... it was like a way to escape,” he finally decides to say. “I could stare up there for hours and you know, imagine all these different worlds and possibilities, and it was... fun. Made me forget about the shitty things around me.”

Mingyu doesn’t say anything at first.

“I know. It’s stupid,” Wonwoo chuckles pathetically and buries his hands into his pockets with greater force.

“It really isn’t.” Mingyu says, voice uncharacteristically quiet. “And you stopped doing that? Stargazing I mean.”   

“Yeah...” Wonwoo says, squeezing his fists to clutch the inside of his jacket pocket, as if he needed something to clasp onto to keep his bearings. “Because I realized that there isn’t much out there. Just a whole bunch of nothing. Dust, gas, rocks.... I mean, I always kind of knew that, but maybe I got more pessimistic and bitter about it as I got older.”

Wonwoo laughs again, though without a trace of humour, and he’s pretty sure the curl of his lips are set in an ugly frown about now. He wishes the moon was less brimming today, and that the reflection of moonlight bouncing from the white snow was not as bright so Mingyu couldn't see his face. And so he doesn’t need to see Mingyu’s face either. Because there is something like sadness and pity in Mingyu’s eyes that keeps lingering there, and Wonwoo kind of hates it.

After what feels like forever, Mingyu says in the quietest breath, “You say there’s nothing out there.... but I’m there.”

That catches Wonwoo off guard, but before he can respond, Mingyu asks him, “Wonwoo, did I ever tell you how vespers are made?”

Wonwoo meets his eyes with a confused squint. “Made ?”

“Yep.”

“Um let’s see Mingyu... when a man and a woman....”

This gets Mingyu doubling over with laughter and Wonwoo stares at him in silence, utterly dumbfounded.

“What?” Wonwoo demands, stepping closer towards him. “That’s not how you were born?”

Mingyu straightens up and shakes his head with a small smile.

“A vesper is born when a star dies,” is all Mingyu says. Somewhere in the curve of his lips there’s a trace of sadness in his words.

“W-wait,” Wonwoo’s voice wavers. “You’re saying you were born...”

“By a dying ball of gas? Yes. It’s the biggest difference between you and me.” Mingyu shrugs lightly as though it’s no big deal. “Of course it’s way more complicated than that, and even though thousands of stars die in the milky way each second, it’s pretty rare for a vesper to be born at all — but yeah.... that’s the idea.”

Wonwoo’s words falter on his tongue. He’s pretty sure he’s gaping like a fish about now.

But Mingyu doesn’t seem to care and only continues talking. “So next time you look up there, you can think of us....” then he adds more quietly, “of me.”  

“O-okay,” is all Wonwoo can gets out.

“There’s a really old myth about this hill you know,” Mingyu says still smiling, likely amused with the wide eyes he was getting from Wonwoo. “They say when you come here on a really starry night like this one, and wish on a star, a vesper will grant it for you.”                         

“Really?”

“Yeah... it’s just a myth though,” Mingyu shrugs with a grin. “Frankly, we were never taught how to grant wishes in school. But I mean, it’s still cool right? So if you ever wish on the stars, maybe I can grant it for you? Who knows,” Mingyu chuckles lightly to himself.

“Maybe,” Wonwoo says weakly, staring at the thick snow surrounding his boots. His fingers have gone numb even through his gloves, and his feet feel like they’ve been chopped off. It’s funny how he’s only just noticing how cold he really is.

“Oh, just remembered!” Mingyu suddenly exclaims, reaching into his jacket and pulling out a book. He holds it out in front of Wonwoo. “This is for you.”

Wonwoo’s eyes widen by a fraction. The book is fairly thick with a deep blue hard cover. There are hundreds of intricate golden patterns covering every square inch of it. The first word that comes to his head to describe it is beautiful.

“It’s your belated birthday present,” Mingyu explains. “I ordered it long ago, but transporting items between the Celestial Agency and earth takes forever.”

“M-Mingyu I told you, you didn’t n—” The same nerve wracking emotions are clawing their way back into his chest, and the moment Wonwoo touches the book he falls silent.  

“It’s not a big deal, really,” Mingyu waves him off. “I just remembered how much you liked visiting the planetarium so I got you this. The cool thing about this book is that you won’t find this information anywhere on earth. Most of the things in here aren’t even discovered yet, so treat it carefully,” Mingyu pats the book lightly, and for the nth time today Wonwoo is left speechless.

“Are you even allowed to give me this?”

Mingyu shrugs with a grin. “Honestly, who cares? Not me.”

‘You really shouldn’t have,” Wonwoo quietly says again.

“Lighten up.” Mingyu says, and his smile is as radiant as ever. Wonwoo momentarily wonders if he ever needs to see daylight again when Mingyu’s face is already blinding and warm enough. “Soonyoung told me you weren’t too keen on gift giving during Christmas so this is all I have, don’t worry.”

And Wonwoo can now only stare helplessly at Mingyu with his cute pointed teeth, and bright chocolate eyes, and easy smiles. He feels like he’s falling. And falling. And he wants to stop but he can’t stop. Falling that is.

Another chilly night breeze blows by, making the loose strands of Mingyu’s pushed up hair flutter. The world feels so silent, like it’s just the two of them and the stars above. He keeps on staring at Mingyu as the breeze continues to ruffle their jackets.

The night is infinitely darker now, and it’s as though he's slowly slipping away from everything. The weight of the book he’d been given is distant in his own palms.

All at once he feels wetness against his cheeks, and his eyes widen. He leaves his gloves in his pocket and brings the tips of his bare cold fingers up to his cheeks. Tears?

The wind blows harder and Mingyu’s eyes widen with alarm.

“Wonwoo,” he says, stepping closer. “W-what’s wrong?”

He wants to tell him, ‘I don’t know’, because he genuinely doesn’t , but no sound comes out of his throat, and he only ends up forcibly shaking his head as thin tracks of tears stream down his cheeks.

The uneasiness in his stomach is back full force. Wonwoo doesn’t feel like he’s falling anymore; instead his entire body goes unbearably heavy and numb— and it’s not from the cold.

Mingyu cautiously steps closer. Until now they’d remained a safe two or three feet apart, but now Mingyu’s close enough that he doesn’t even need to extend his arm to touch him.

And this time when he looks into Mingyu’s concerned eyes, the light switch in his brain flicks on. All at once, Wonwoo can recognize this foreign emotion that’s been continuously lingering ever since he stepped foot back in this town.

How did he not recognize it sooner?

This heaviness weighing him down to the tips of his fingers... there were few who understood loneliness from such a young age as Jeon Wonwoo did.

Mingyu lifts his hand to brush away his tears, and for some god-forsaken reason, Wonwoo flinches at the movement. Mingyu immediately retracts his hand.

“Wonwoo,” He says again, this time sounding more desperate, maybe because he doesn’t know what’s making him like this.

But Wonwoo himself feels lost and doesn’t understand why there are tears trickling down his cheeks, and why his heart is so heavy with loneliness to the point where his body feels numb— even when Mingyu is standing in such proximity to him, the tips of their feet almost touching and the winds around them blowing harder and sending tiny gusts of powdery snow in the air.

“You had a rough day huh?” Mingyu finally says with a sigh, stepping back away from him. Maybe he thinks his presence is making things worse because he doesn’t attempt to touch Wonwoo again.

But Wonwoo doesn’t want that.

And without any thought, only a kind of desperate plea in his chest, he rushes forward and wraps his arms around Mingyu.

Mingyu lets out a surprised sound as he stumbles back, his hands immediately coming up to Wonwoo’s shoulders to steady him.

“What has gotten into you,” he chuckles nervously, and Wonwoo can feel the faint rumble against his chest.

Wonwoo lifts his head up, eyes still wet at the edges, and his cheeks icy from the stain of tear tracks. “Don’t go,” he chokes out, and he doesn’t know where his words are even coming from.

Mingyu looks at him, confusion crossing his eyes. “Wonwoo,” he murmurs. “I’m right here. Where would I go?”

“I- I don’t know... I just— I think if I turn away for a second, you’ll...” he lowers his voice imperceptibly, “disappear.”

And Wonwoo is fairly certain that by now, his brain is just telling him to shut up but his lips are moving on their own.

His thoughts are just snide remarks at this point. Great. Good going Wonwoo. Third random outburst of the week. New record. How does Mingyu even put up with you?

“I w-won’t. I’m staying right here. I won’t disappear.” Mingyu tries to reassure him again.

And although Wonwoo doesn’t understand why he’s saying the things he’s saying to Mingyu— he feels reassured at those words.

“Promise?” Wonwoo whispers, and finds his limbs slowly relaxing once again with Mingyu’s arms around him. He rests his head against the crook of Mingyu’s shoulder, the rough fabric of his jacket against his cheeks. Wonwoo then feels the tip of Mingyu’s nose nudging his hair and it does wonders to calm him down.

Mingyu’s voice audibly shakes and hesitates, but hearing the words are enough for Wonwoo.

“I... I promise.”

* . 　         　 *  
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*  . 　　 　  　　
　 ✺  　 · ✷   .

Chapter Text

Wonwoo refuses to let go of his hand the entire way down the hill. Or maybe it’s Mingyu that refuses to let go of Wonwoo’s hand. He can’t really tell at this point.

Either way, he’s glad that Wonwoo looks a lot better when they make their way down. He even smiles and cracks jokes about how he thought Mingyu was taking him up there to murder him, or something equally bent like that. His cheeks are flushed and blotchy from both crying and the cold, and his eyes are still a little red, but other than that he looks fine.

Mingyu honestly didn’t know what to do up there. Wonwoo wouldn’t tell him what was wrong. In fact, ever since they came here he’d been acting strange, and Mingyu had no answers for it.

Wonwoo would keep getting these heavy looks in his eyes, as if something was weighing him down. Mingyu could tell it was more than just his current situation with his father; that wasn’t bothering him nearly as much as this other unknown factor. And as much as he wanted to help, his hands were tied if Wonwoo wouldn’t tell him what the issue was.

Don’t go, Wonwoo had said so desperately, as if Mingyu was going to drop off the face of the planet right at that moment. Where would he go anyway? Mingyu really couldn’t understand what was swirling inside that cute head of his.

Still, now that he glances over at Wonwoo’s side profile that’s momentarily shrouded in a silhouette, his heartstrings pull achingly. Without thinking much of it, Mingyu gives his fingers a reassuring squeeze. This gesture makes Wonwoo glance up at him, first appearing surprised by the action, and then a careful smile tugging the corners of his lips.

Mingyu looks away, eyes flitting around the area as they’ve almost reached the bottom of the hill. This place is the most familiar to him, and he’s wanted to show Wonwoo this since they came here.

Clearing his throat, he asks, “Can I show you something?”

Wonwoo momentarily peers at him in question, but then he nods wordlessly, ready to be led to wherever Mingyu wants to go.

Wonwoo’s hands tightens around his as they go off the pathway, a couple meters into the forest. The place was nearby, Mingyu could feel it.

He darts his eyes around the snowy forest, skimming through the trees before he sees it: a tiny clearing where the moon seemed imperceptibly brighter, and the white of the snow sparkled more feverishly.

Carefully stepping over snow speckled shrubs and weaving around trees, he leads Wonwoo to the tiny area.

“Is there something supposed to be here?” Wonwoo calls out from behind, voice deep and slightly raspy, possibly from the cold and the recent tears he’d shed.

“Yes there is actually,” Mingyu grins, gesturing for Wonwoo to come towards him and the tree he’s standing next to.

No passerby would be able to spot it, but the tree beside Mingyu was a little strange from all the other trees surrounding it. It was thicker in diameter, and the bark was darker and rougher too. It looked older than the other trees in its proximity.

What’s more is if someone were to look closely enough, there was a tiny engraving on the tree: a small four pointed star, and underneath the star, there were rough markings of the letter C and A.

Mingyu lifts his bare fingers that were now shifting into a shade of red from the cold, and grazes the symbol. Wonwoo is beside him now peering at the engraving as well.

“C... A” he murmurs, curiosity edging into his voice. “Celestial Agency?”

“Yep,” Mingyu responds, dropping his hands back into his pocket. “This hill is what we call a gate, and this mark is proof of that.”

“A gate,” Wonwoo echoes, eyebrows furrowing a little. “Like.... is this how you can transport from the agency to here?”

“Yes exactly. There are gate locations like this in so many bigger, more major cities everywhere. Like, near your apartment actually.... there is one.

“But then why is it in such a tiny place like this town?” Wonwoo’s voice is barely above a whisper when he asks this. His fingers run over the engraving as his black hair blows in the cold night breeze.

Mingyu shivers. “No clue. But it’s been here as far as I’ve known. Maybe this place is special you know. Kind of like the old myth about wishes being granted here." 

“Yeah maybe,” Wonwoo echoes back.

And with that, they begin making their way back to the warmth and comfort of the inn, trying to escape the all too frigid winter air that had been making their senses go numb.

***

It’s always the same every time.

Wonwoo is running on a wide field— maybe a meadow. The sun is high and bright.

There’s muffled laughter; it’s his own laughter alongside someone else’s, their figure shrouded by a blinding white light.

No matter how much Wonwoo squints, he can’t seem to catch a glimpse of their face against the searing sun.

He's aware of their hand though, clasped tightly around his. It could be a young girl’s, or a boy’s— it could be someone older too— it’s hard to tell when everything around him is so blurry and bright.

Then the scene shifts.

Suddenly, he’s no longer in a meadow; instead, there are rocks and rushing water all around him. The hand around his slips away and he finds that he’s all alone.

He frantically looks around him and screams out something, maybe a name—but even from his own mouth the sound is too warbled and distant for him to make out.

The rocks suddenly cave beneath him as he plummets into icy water.

And then he wakes up in cold sweat, breathing heavily.

“Bad dream?”

Wonwoo turns from where he’s laying on his pillow. Mingyu is sitting upright against the backboard of his bed, a small lamp beside him lit. He has round wire rimmed glasses on, and a book open in his lap. Wonwoo wears glasses like those on a daily basis and thinks he looks really plain with them, but Mingyu somehow looks so good and handsome and— he has to shake his head to snap out of his thoughts.

“Something like that,” he finally answers.

“You have those often?” Mingyu asks him, curiosity in his eyes as he sets his book aside.

“Y-yeah...” Wonwoo answers honestly, turning away to stare at the ceiling of the dimly lit room. His sleep has dissipated into thin air. “The same one every time.”

He can feel Mingyu’s thoughtful gaze on him. “Re-occurring dreams can be pretty important. Do you remember how long you’ve been having these for?”

“Years.”

“Woah really? How many?”

“I don’t know,” Wonwoo shrugs. “Sometime since my childhood.”

“Hmm...” Mingyu hums in thought.

“You’re thinking they have something to do with my memories,” Wonwoo says knowingly.

“That’s exactly what I’m thinking.” Mingyu nods his head and is suddenly standing next to his bed. “You want to describe the dreams for me?”

“Are you not sleepy?” Wonwoo groans. He’s not really in the mood for this right now, and too afraid to describe his dream in case it’ll do something to trigger him and he’ll have his fourth breakdown of the week.

“No I’m not. I couldn’t sleep, so I was reading,” Mingyu shrugs.

“I saw,” Wonwoo mumbles squinting up at him. He doesn’t know why Mingyu is just dumbly standing there but it’s bothering him so he reaches out to take his wrist. “Stop standing there like that. It’s making me anxious,” he grumbles, tugging him down to sit.

Mingyu slowly settles down at the edge of Wonwoo’s bed, shoulder turned halfway to look at him.

“So I’m taking that as a, you don’t want to talk about it?”

Wonwoo presses his lips into a thin line. “I’m tired,” he finally says.

There’s a pause, and then Mingyu reaches out to flick out the lamp. They’re immediately bathed in darkness, and the moonlight seems to slowly brighten every inch of the room.

“Then sleep,” he says with some finality.

Before Mingyu can get up and go to bed himself, Wonwoo quickly says, “I can’t.”

And he’s being honest. Whenever his strange dreams occur, which is usually once every couple months or so, it’s as though something sucks out all the ability in him to simply sleep. He usually needs to take sleeping pills on those nights, but he forgot to pack any for this trip so he’s at a loss here.

Mingyu sighs and settles against the backboard of Wonwoo’s bed, bringing his legs up on the mattress. “Fine, you want to see something cool then?”

“Sure,” he says curiously, because Mingyu never fails to surprise him.

He lifts his hand and holds out his wrist. On it is a thin metal cord bracelet that Wonwoo had seen him wear every day. He watches curiously as Mingyu twists a portion of the bracelet, and suddenly a holographic looking image of a towering stone building appears in the ceiling of the dark room.

“Celestial Agency, home to 20,000 vespers,” a voice booms out from the bracelet, and Wonwoo nearly jumps from his bed. Mingyu taps what looks like a button on the flat disk of his cord bracelet to mute the voice.

“Is this a documentary?” Wonwoo asks incredulously as the holographic video shifts and begins zooming through what looks like different corridors and rooms of the building. “You’re making me watch a documentary of Celestial Agency.”

Mingyu throws back his head and laughs. “It’s really stupid I know. But I had to watch it as a part of training.”

Wonwoo doesn’t want to get up from where he’s laying in bed huddled comfortably into his blanket, so he just reaches up and makes grabby motions towards the bracelet.

Mingyu willingly brings his wrist closer and lets him fiddle with the cord. Wonwoo curiously taps on the tiny buttons that line the flat disk, watching the holograms shift, from different images and videos. At one point a really amazing view of the cosmos appear against the ceiling and Wonwoo can’t help but go “oooooh”, which gets Mingyu laughing.

“Okay, this really isn’t gonna help you fall asleep is it?” Mingyu says after a couple minutes of Wonwoo continually playing with the different features of the bracelet.

“You thought this would help me fall asleep?” Wonwoo giggles.

“Right. I didn’t. I just hoped.” Mingyu rolls his eyes, but he sounds amused.

“Hey! What does this one do?” Wonwoo curiously asks, tapping the side of the disk. There was only one button present there.

Mingyu nearly yells, immediately swatting Wonwoo’s hands away and furiously tapping the side of the bracelet before anything popped up. “Don’t touch that! That calls Jeonghan.”

“Your boss right?”

“Yeah!”

Wonwoo just shrugs, grinning at how terrified Mingyu momentarily looked.

He sighs and slides down further from the backboard and then turns to lie on his stomach, propping his elbows against the mattress. “You’re really not going to sleep, are you?” he asks.

“I told you I can’t,” Wonwoo says with a shake of his head. “You don’t need to stay awake for me though.”

Mingyu goes silent at that, and Wonwoo watches the way the moonlight filtering through the translucent white curtains of their room cast shadows against his face. He knows he’s staring, but he can’t really turn away. To be fair, Mingyu’s doing the same thing, and it should be awkward but they’re both really tired and drained so neither of them seems to care.

Wonwoo begins to think back to what he did this morning.

Yeah let’s just kiss Mingyu— brilliant idea Wonwoo, brilliant. He still wants to smack himself for it.

His emotions weren’t in a good place yesterday, especially at that moment, so maybe he was just desperate for practically any kind of distraction, and it led to that poor decision.

Yeah that’s all it was... that’s all it should be. It wasn’t a big deal.

Besides, Mingyu probably realized the same thing because he seemed to be listening to Wonwoo and is pretending it never happened, which he’s eternally grateful for.

“You have 3 moles on your cheeks," Mingyu suddenly says, cutting into his thoughts and leans over him. “They make a triangle.”

The hand that isn’t propped against his chin comes over to delicately trace the shape against his cheeks. Wonwoo nearly shivers at the touch of Mingyu’s fingers.

“Mhmm,” Wonwoo hums, looking anywhere but at their sudden proximity.

“It’s the summer triangle.”

Now this gets Wonwoo’s attention real fast and he scrunches his eyebrows. “The summer triangle... like the stars in the sky?”

“Yeah,” Mingyu says, voice sounding deep in thought. He shifts his elbows to lean closer over Wonwoo. “This is Altair, this is Vega, and this is Deneb.” he quietly says, fingers tapping each of the moles lightly.

“And you also have this really faint scar here,” he adds, using the back of his nail to gently draw a small line against his cheeks. “Cutting right between Altair and Vega. That would be the milky way.”

Wonwoo can’t help but laugh at that. “You know, nobody’s ever described it like that.”

“Well now they have,” Mingyu says matter-of-factly, a smile slowly crossing his lips. “Where’d you get the scar?”

Wonwoo squints towards the left of Mingyu’s head at the dark ceiling, knitting his eyebrows together in thought, “I... I can’t remember...”

Wonwoo rarely looked at himself closely in the mirror, but when he did, and if he stared hard enough, he could make out the faint scar across his left cheek. He has noticed it there before but never once questioned or thought about where he got it.

Mingyu can probably see the confusion in his eyes because he only shrugs and rolls over onto his back, head softly hitting the pillow beside Wonwoo. Their arms are lightly touching from where they’ve placed them at their sides but neither of them bothers shifting away.

They sit like that in the silence for who knows how long, staring at the dark ceiling, with only cold light from outside streaming into the room. The only sound Wonwoo is aware of is the steady tick of the clock, and Mingyu’s gentle breathing beside his.

“If I tell you a bedtime story, will it help you fall asleep?” Mingyu finally asks him.

“I’m not a kid Mingyu,” Wonwoo rolls his eyes, unable to hide the chuckle in his voice, simply because Mingyu sounds way too earnest about this and it’s kind of adorable.

“It’s a story,” Mingyu argues. “You can’t get too old for a story.”

This gets him smiling wider. “Okay maybe... then shoot, tell me,” Wonwoo says, even though he knows it definitely won’t help him. If sleeping pills barely did the trick sometimes, then Mingyu’s story will? Yeah right.

“Alright, this is based on an old tale that originated from China. I learned it a while ago. The stories and stuff humans make up are really interesting you know?

“Mhmm,” Wonwoo hums quietly, letting Mingyu know that he’s listening. 

“Basically I forget what I was reading, but I came across this legend; the story of Altair and Vega.”

Wonwoo blinks. He thinks he knows that title from somewhere, but can't remember where. And so Mingyu begins telling him the story.

(Once upon a time, there was a great princess of the heavens named Altair who made beautiful clothing. Her father, the king, loved the clothes she wove, and so she worked hard every day. However Altair was sad with her life; she worked all the time and she would never meet anyone. She feared that she would never get to fall in love. Every night she would go to the celestial river to bathe and clean her clothes.

One night however, she coincidentally met Vega. Vega was a cow herder who lived on the other side of the celestial river that separated the heavens and the mortal world. One night, one of his cows accidentally wandered across the bridge of the celestial river, and there he met Altair. The two quickly fell in love even though the heavens disapproved of Altair’s relationship with a poor mortal man. Altair and Vega began neglecting their duties to meet every night, and because of that, Vega’s cows strayed all over heaven.

This made the king extremely angry and he destroyed the bridge on the celestial river, forbidding Altair from seeing Vega ever again. Altair cried and begged her father to let them meet, and her father said that the two could meet on the seventh day of the seventh month every year as long as Altair worked hard and finished her weaving. On that special day, a flock of birds would come and make a bridge with their wings to help Altair cross the celestial river and see Vega once again. Every year, Altair and Vega met like this. When it rained however, the birds couldn’t come, and so they would hope for clearer skies next year.

Every year, around those weeks of the 7th month, people from the northern hemisphere could see how the Milky Way that ran between the stars Altair and Vega grew dimmer in the night sky. In the story, the Milky Way was the celestial river that separated the two lovers. People say that this is where the legend originated. That’s also why on that day, there are Tanabata festivals in Japan and people hope for clear skies so Altair and Vega can be “reunited” once again.)

Wonwoo isn’t quite sure when he falls asleep exactly, but his eyelids begin to droop at some point while listening to Mingyu explaining the things they do at the Tanabata festival. Mingyu’s voice somehow manages to soothe every bone in his body.

As Wonwoo quietly slips into a slumber, thoughts of Altair and Vega and their ill-fated romance swirl around in his brain.

The last thing he remembers before slipping away entirely is Mingyu’s hand carefully brushing his bangs from his eyes.

“Sweet dreams Wonwoo.”

***

Mingyu is shaken awake on Christmas morning. He groggily looks up at Wonwoo’s figure, surprised to see that for once he’s the one sleeping in today and not Wonwoo.

He remembers how difficult it had been for him to fall asleep last night; something about the way Wonwoo was acting set him on edge and kept him awake.

But after he finally got Wonwoo to go to sleep, Mingyu’s tired limbs carried him back to his bed and he was knocked out the moment he hit the sheets.

He blinks away his sleepiness and drags himself up with a yawn.

“Merry Christmas to you too,” he mumbles.

“They’re gonna stop serving breakfast soon so you better hurry up,” Wonwoo frowns, already fully dressed and round glasses perched cutely on his nose. “And yeah... Merry Christmas.”

Mingyu glances at the clock, alarmed to see that it was already 9:30. He throws off his pajamas, and scrambles around to find his clothes.

His eyes scan over Wonwoo’s when he’s pulling on his shirt and Wonwoo quickly turns away to look out the window, trying to appear nonchalant— though Mingyu doesn’t miss the faint pink across his cheeks. He doesn’t quite know what to make of it but chuckles anyway, which gets a scowl in his direction.

The two make their way down the inn to the dining area where the pleasant smell of waffle batter is wafting out.

When they finally have their food and are settled down to eat, Wonwoo tells him, “I have to go back to my grandparent’s house because I forgot my phone charger.”

“I’ll go with you,” Mingyu immediately says. Before Wonwoo can protest he stops him. “Don’t worry, I’ll stay outside, out of sight— after all, you just need to go in and grab your charger right? It’ll be really quick.”

Really, Mingyu just wants to find something to do to kill the time. And he kind of doesn’t want to leave Wonwoo alone again— there was that too. Somehow Wonwoo’s presence felt a little too volatile in this town.

Wonwoo plays around with the waffle on his plate, and he watches the syrup drip to every corner. “I guess...” is all he says.

Soon they’re trudging through the snow to Wonwoo’s grandparents house and Mingyu is taken aback by the familiarity of the scenery.

“Hey! You never told me stargazing hill was literally right behind your grandparent’s house,” Mingyu says with a frown, pointing to the looming forest and hill right behind the house that’s drawing near as they walk on the snowy path.

“Oh,” Wonwoo says as they finally stop in front of the cozy looking wooden lodge where his grandparents must live. “I never realized.”

“Seriously, and you’re telling me you never went there?” Mingyu laughs.

“Well if I stopped stargazing, what on earth would I even go there for?” Wonwoo shrugs.

“Sledding?” Mingyu suggests.

“Yeah, I forgot how fun it was to sled all by yourself with no friends,” Wonwoo retorts, giving him a cheeky grin.

“Oh,” Mingyu’s expression immediately falters and he feels really stupid and insensitive. “I’m sorry I totally f—”

Wonwoo just laughs and shakes his head, letting him know he isn’t offended. “It’s fine really. I was just kidding.”

Before Wonwoo goes up to knock the door, he tells Mingyu to just go to the side of the house where he can’t be seen (because his grandparents would definitely make him come inside to feed him if they saw him, Mingyu is informed).

He does as he’s told and waits, leaning against the wooden boards of the house while absentmindedly kicking the snow on the ground.

He can’t help but think that Wonwoo’s grandparent’s house looks really nice. It’s small and cute, and looks like a little lodge or cabin.

Mingyu looks around at the evergreens that surround the area since the house is right at the edge of the forest— in fact, it’s pretty isolated from the town and there probably isn’t another house for another kilometer from here. It’s really peaceful.

His eyes travel to the small shed a couple meters away from him. Well not the shed exactly, but a bright red board that’s resting against the shed. When he moves closer to it, he can see that it’s a sled.

He’s in the process of examining the sled when he hears soft padded footsteps in the snow nearing him and Wonwoo is standing there with a questioning look.

“Got the phone charger?” is the first thing that Mingyu can think to ask.

“Yep.”

“Your grandparents like going sledding?” he questions, and Wonwoo just chuckles.

“Nah, my cousins come by sometimes and use that. It’s for them.”

“Ah.” He nods his head understandingly, playing with the edges of the sled. “You know, I’ve never gone sledding either.”

“What do you mean by either ?” Wonwoo frowns. “I’ve gone sledding! But when I was really little... on like a peewee hill,” he laughs, but it comes out sounding a little weak.

“Really?”

“Yeah...” his voice trails off slightly before saying, “My parents used to take me. Like when I was five or whatever.”

Mingyu finds himself grinning. “Well, you wanna go again?” he asks slyly, pointing to the sled.

“Mingyu....” Wonwoo looks at him sternly.

“What?” he argues. “You haven’t gone since you were little, and I haven’t gone at all! I want to try it.”

Wonwoo frowns, but looks like he’s considering it.

“Besides,” Mingyu presses, “do you have a better suggestion of how we spend our time?”

Wonwoo sighs, seeming to give up. “Okay, okay fine. Only a couple runs and then we’re putting the stupid sled back.”

Mingyu grins happily and nods. He’s well aware that he’s a bit too excited about this than he should be. And he’s being pretty childish too, humming to himself with a happy skip in his steps as they make their way up the hill with the sled in tow.

Wonwoo keeps giving him unimpressed looks whenever he glances over, but more than once Mingyu catches him smiling with what he pegs as affection. This gets Mingyu grinning, and the creases of Wonwoo’s face immediately drop back to their monotonous and unimpressed curves.

When they finally get through the thin forest to the top of the hill, Mingyu plops down on the sled immediately.

“Do you want me to give you a push?” Wonwoo asks him.

Mingyu looks up at him, immediately disappointed. “Um no? I thought you would come down with me?”

“Mingyu, there’s literally no room.”

“Sure there is!” he huffs, and yanks Wonwoo down by the wrist to sit between his outstretched legs. “You’re not that big you know? See!”

Truthfully, Mingyu just doesn’t want to go down on his own the first time. As stupid as it was, the hill was fairly steep, with many twists, bumps and slopes, and it made him nervous.

He feels Wonwoo almost immediately freeze against his chest when he brings his hands up to wrap them around his waist. Wonwoo glances over his shoulder and gives him an unreadable expression.

“What?” Mingyu asks.

There’s a beat or two of silence, and then, “You’re scared,” he says.

“I’m not!” Mingyu huffs, but it comes out too defensive, and it only gets Wonwoo shaking with silent laughter. He's tempted to shove Wonwoo off the sled, but maybe he’s right and he’s a little more nervous than he thought, so no, he definitely wants Wonwoo on the sled.

“Don’t worry. It’s just snow and we’re wearing winter coats, so even if you fall it won’t hurt too much.” Wonwoo shrugs. “I mean there’s the rare possibility of breaking your limbs but...”

“The fuck? Wonwoo!”

He laughs again and Mingyu feels Wonwoo’s body shake against his chest, the warm sound echoing atop the empty hill this bright morning.

“Anyway, let’s go,” Wonwoo says, and without another warning plants his hands on either side of the sled and pushes off. Mingyu yelps in surprise automatically tightening his hold around his waist as they swoop down the hill.

It takes approximately 3 seconds for Mingyu to realize, hey, sledding is actually super fun.

He can’t stop laughing in excitement as they zoom up and down the rolling hill, snow flying to the sides in a spray from the speed of the sled. The icy oncoming wind from their speed down the hill hits his nose, but he’s kind of enjoying this too much to care.

They reach the bottom smoothly, the sled coming to a slow. Mingyu grins as he helps Wonwoo up, and he’s pretty sure he looks overexcited, but at this point he doesn’t care. It’s just Wonwoo, and Wonwoo doesn’t strike him as judgmental whatsoever. Sure, maybe sometimes a little annoyed at his antics and loud personality, but not judgmental.

“Let’s do it again!” He says happily. “I want to be at the front this time.”

Wonwoo just laughs and shakes his head at his excitement. “Okay Mingyu.”

They make their way up the hill again and Wonwoo quietly sits down behind him and lightly places his arms around his waist. His face heats up slightly. Why does it feel like Wonwoo is back-hugging him?

“I swear people will come by and wonder why the hell two grown men are going sledding together on Christmas morning,” he can hear Wonwoo sigh. But he doesn’t sound annoyed so Mingyu just laughs.

“Yeah they probably will.”

“Mingyu you’re such a kid,” Wonwoo mumbles from where his cheeks are pressed against the back of his shoulders.

“You know, they say that’s the best way to live.”

“Yeah okay.”

“Hold on.”

Mingyu leans forward and inches the sled his weight forward, and soon they’re speeding down the hill again. It’s almost as fun as the first time, except this time they’re taking a calmer, smoother path down the hill— or so they think.

Mingyu, feeling braver this time, begins to swerve the sled from left to right, and he can hear Wonwoo’s laughter through the gush of the wind. “Mingyu, stop!”

He laughs as well, and he’s not exactly paying attention when he swerves to the right again and suddenly they hit something— maybe a big rock buried in the snow.

All at once they fly off the sled and they’re tumbling down the hill. It’s just a blur of white and Wonwoo’s limbs for a couple seconds before they seem to have hit the bottom of the hill with a soft umph.

The body underneath him groans softly and Mingyu lifts himself slightly. He’s more or less right on top of Wonwoo, and looks back down at him with concern. “You okay?”

Wonwoo stares up at him with bright eyes. There’s snow spilled over his cheeks, trailing down to his neck beneath his jacket. His cheeks are a positively flushed from the cold, and his breaths are short and fast from the exhilaration of wiping out.

Mingyu expects to receive a glare for not watching where he was going, but instead, Wonwoo’s eyes turn into crescents and he begins to laugh. Not his usual soft chuckles, but his real laughter— deep and resonating in the quiet winter morning— the kind of laugh that reveals his whole row of straight pearly teeth, and make his eyes and nose scrunch up in the cutest way possible.

Mingyu’s chest blooms with warmth, and before he can think about it too much he brushes away the snow from Wonwoo’s cheeks. He then unzips the collar of his jacket and brushes off the snow that had entered before zipping it back up. Wonwoo shivers slightly now, lips shaking slightly from the cold, but he still has a bright smile on his face, and his cheeks are so pink, and if Mingyu just leaned down a little he could— he puts that thought to a stop.

“And you say I’m the kid,” Mingyu shakes his head.

“You are.” Wonwoo grins up at him.

“Yet you find flying off the sled so much fun.”

“It is though! And see, I told you it wouldn’t hurt! Though our pants are kind of ruined now,” Wonwoo says and Mingyu realizes he should probably get off of him. He rolls over to lie in the snow beside Wonwoo.

“They’ll dry.”

Wonwoo hums in response. “Speaking of which— the sled— where is it?”

As if on cue, from his peripherals he can see something red slowly sliding down the hill. “I think it just went past us.”

Wonwoo chuckles, and Mingyu can feel a gaze on him. He turns his head to see Wonwoo lying on his side, intently looking at him.

“Hm? What is it?” Mingyu asks.

“Nothing.”

“Why’re you looking at me?”

“Because I want to.”

His chest constricts.

“We should get up,” he finally says, lifting his back from the ground.

Wonwoo doesn’t say anything at that, but takes his hand when Mingyu offers it to help him up.

***

Wonwoo and Mingyu check out of the inn in the afternoon the next day.

The moment they board the train to get home, Wonwoo automatically feels like a ton of bricks had been lifted from his shoulders and he breathes a little easier on the ride.

Mingyu seems to notice this, and he keeps grinning and joking around with him for the entirety of the trip— no longer looking worried.

Nothing eventful really happens the whole ride. The only noticeable thing was a call from his manager at work telling him that due to last minute schedule switch-ups, he’ll have to look after the new employee for his shift tomorrow.

Wonwoo doesn’t mind all too much— it just means he might finish a little later than usual.

The moment he arrives at work on his first real day of winter break, the new employee greets him. He’s handsome with tousled black hair, fairly pale skin and large dark eyes.

Wonwoo peers at his name-tag that reads “Choi Seungcheol”, and his stomach immediately turns.

“Nice to meet you,” Seungcheol gives him an easy, charming smile and holds his hands out. His grip is firm and strong when they shake hands.

Seungcheol turns out to be a year older than him, and a business major. Wonwoo learns that he recently moved to this city for his yearlong internship— except it’s unpaid for the first couple of months, so he decided he needed another job and got this one.

Seungcheol is a pretty chill and friendly guy, and is quick to learn. Wonwoo is extremely thankful that he doesn’t need to look out too much for him since he seems quite competent even though it’s only his first day.

But Wonwoo can’t help but think he’s missing something, because a strange troubled feeling washes over him whenever he glances over at the guy.

“Choi Seungcheol,” Wonwoo mutters to himself, and it dawns on him that it’s his name that’s bothering him the most.

Choi Seungcheol.

Wonwoo swears he’s heard that name before— but where? He racks his brain, but can’t seem to remember.

“You ok?” Seungcheol’s voice cuts into his thoughts. Wonwoo snaps his head up, and he’s casually leaning against the counter, fiddling with the locks of his hair. “You look kinda troubled.”

“Y-yeah,” Wonwoo stutters, and then shrugs. “It’s no big deal. I was just thinking about something.”

“Okay.” Seungcheol grins and says he’s going to the back to re-stock the gift-cards.

Meanwhile, the door sounds and a customer enters. Wonwoo’s surprised to see that he’s greeted by Jihoon’s fluffy winter hat— well Jihoon himself too— but he’s more or less a head shorter than Wonwoo, so the hat is where his eyes go first.

He's fixated by the movement of the pompom on said fluffy hat, and bounces his head along to its bobbing motions.

He’s taken aback when Jihoon is suddenly waving his hands in front of his face. “Hey asshole! Are you even gonna say hi?”

Wonwoo chuckles. “Sorry, your hat is fun to look at.”

“You’re such a loser.” Jihoon rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling. “Anyway, your shift ends in like 5 minutes right?”

Wonwoo glances at the time in surprise. He must have lost track of the time. “Oh, it does.”

There is a sudden loud clatter from back, and he glances over his shoulder. “New guy,” he offhandedly tells Jihoon. “His name is Choi Seungcheol,” Wonwoo says, furrowing his eyebrows in thought. “Have you heard that name before? He only moved to this city for his internship, but I swear I remember it from somewhere and—”

Wonwoo stops talking midway and turns to look at Jihoon, whose face has gone white as paper. “Woah hey, you ok? You—”

At that moment Seungcheol comes up behind him with a sheepish grin. “I just dropped some stuff, but I put it back.”

“It’s fine,” Wonwoo shrugs and turns back to Jihoon who is now looking at Seungcheol with bright, widened eyes.

“Are you buying something?” Seungcheol asks with a tilt of his head, eyes trained on Jihoon.

“Oh no,” Wonwoo quickly intervenes. “This is just my friend Ji—” suddenly there are a pair of hands clamped over his mouth, and Jihoon has practically thrown himself across the counter with wide eyes. Wonwoo tries to say, “What the hell are you doing?” but the hand over his mouth presses back his words.

Jihoon quickly retracts his hand, cheeks bright red and refusing to look up at them. “Sorry, just, um...” there’s a short pause and now Wonwoo is starting to get concerned because he seemed fine before. “I’ll wait for you outside ok?” Jihoon rushes out to say, before practically running out the door.

“What’s up with him? Looks like he saw a ghost,” Seungcheol chuckles a few seconds after Jihoon leaves, leaning against the counter. He has his elbow propped up and is thoughtfully rubbing the metal watch on his wrist. “What a cutie.”

“Uh... ok?” Wonwoo squints in confusion at his co-worker. Sure Jihoon had a naturally cute face— Wonwoo thought so too the moment they met— but would he call Jihoon a “cutie” with a dopey smile like the one Seungcheol was wearing right now? Probably not.

“Anyway, you should go see what’s wrong with him,” Seungcheol casually shrugs. “I can sign you out.”

“Oh, yeah, right,” Wonwoo shakes his head to clear his thoughts and throws on his coat and bag. “Thanks.”

Before he exits he quickly calls out to Seungcheol, “Next person will be here in like five minutes so you’re not alone.”

“Okay cool,” Seungcheol responds with a small wave.

The moment he steps outside, he spots Jhoon leaning against the building. There is a flurry of snow falling right now, and streetlights are starting to flicker on.

Before he can say anything, Jihoon looks up at him with a troubled expression on his face and says, “How many Choi Seungcheol’s do you think there are out there?”

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Chapter Text

“How many Choi Seungcheol’s do you think there are out there?”

Wonwoo stares at Jihoon and goes speechless. He slowly puts the puzzle together.

Seungcheol is Jihoon’s...

His jaw almost drops. Jihoon’s usual calm eyes are now a storm. Wonwoo catches something like excitement, curiosity, but above all a sort of discomfort in them.

“Jihoon do you think—”

“No,” he’s quick to bite out. “Let’s not jump to any conclusions. I don’t want to think about it.”

Wonwoo is at a loss of words, and stands frozen in his spot when Jihoon begins walking. After moving a couple feet away he turns back around. His eyes are questioning as if to say what are you doing just standing there?

Wonwoo gulps and trails behind him. They’re heading to their usual location: the library, to get a few hours of studying done.

When they stop at a streetlight, Wonwoo finally wills himself to say, “Hey I can check. For you I mean— next time I have a shift with him, I can see if your name—”

“Wonwoo can you just drop it?” Jihoon snaps back and there’s tightness in his voice.

“Y-you don’t want to find out if Seungcheol is your soulmate?” He focuses on his side profile, eyebrows furrowing.

“I’m tired. I don’t want to think about this right now.”

Maybe Wonwoo should be able to understand— understand why Jihoon clearly wants nothing to do with his soulmate that is. After all, wasn’t he only a couple weeks ago shoving Mingyu away without hesitation? Or perhaps this was too much to take in so suddenly for him. Wonwoo wouldn’t know.

The rest of their walk to the library is spent in silence, with only the sound of soft pads of their boots against the snowy sidewalks.

It now makes sense why Seungcheol’s name had been so familiar in Wonwoo’s head.

“Okay I’ll show you.”

Jihoon had hushed those words, leaning closer to Wonwoo when they were gaming one night, years back when they were 18. Jihoon had barely flipped his wrist to show Wonwoo, and kept it tight against his chest.

“Choi Seungcheol.” Wonwoo easily read aloud, ignoring the glare Jihoon shot him.

Was he scared of the name? Jesus, this wasn’t Voldermort. Wonwoo suppressed an eye roll before turning back to their controllers.

He could’ve pressed why his friend appeared so put out by a simple name, but he and Jihoon hadn’t exactly been close enough back then to well, try and delve into each other’s feelings like that. Plus, it wasn’t as if he could relate.

They never spoke about it again, and Wonwoo never took a second glance at Jihoon’s wrists that remained guarded by woven bracelets.

(“Friendship bracelets!!” as proclaimed by Soonyoung. And yes Jihoon grumbled about it— but he wore them anyway out of love of hiding his wrists, and maybe some sliver of love for his best friend. Wonwoo liked to think it was more the latter.)

The moment Wonwoo walks into his apartment late that night, his eyes land on Mingyu sprawled over the couch with a blanket. His head is at an odd angle on the armrest as he’s scrolling through his phone.

Wonwoo stomps his boots to get the snow off and places them on the rack before sliding into his favourite fuzzy slippers and making his way across the carpet.

“Hey Mingyu...”

He prods Mingyu’s foot aside to sink down on the couch, and Mingyu moves upright to greet him.

“Hey...what’s up?”

Wonwoo opens his mouth to say something, but the words disappear partway. He squints, unsure of what he had wanted to say in the first place.  Eventually he shakes his head and his eyelids droop like a weight had been placed on them.

Mingyu must notice because he nudges his shoulder. “Tired?”

“Mhmm,” Wonwoo mumbles and shrugs his coat off that he’d forgotten to hang up at the closet by the door.

With his coat now lying crumpled on the floor and only a thin full-sleeved shirt pulled over his palms, a shiver runs through him. He blinks his eyes open and turns to Mingyu.

“Why on earth is it so fucking cold in here?”

Mingyu’s eyes widen, as if he remembered something important. “Oh right! The heating system stopped working.”

“It what?” Wonwoo nearly screeches.

Mingyu scratches the back of his neck and smiles apologetically. “I went down to talk to the landlord, and they said they’ll be here to fix it immediately tomorrow morning at 9.”

“So we have to stay in the cold for the night?”

“Yes, unfortunately, but look,” Wonwoo’s eyes trail to where Mingyu is pointing. At the corner of the room is a white boxy device. “The apartment owner gave me their portable heater.”

Mingyu gets up towards his closet and begins rummaging through it. “There’s only one though. We can keep it in your room.”

“You’ll get cold though,” he murmurs and watches the way the defined muscles on Mingyu’s back stretch underneath his black turtleneck.

“It’s fine,” Mingyu shrugs and glances over his shoulder to which Wonwoo quickly averts his eyes. “I think we’ve gone over this before, but I retain body heat ridiculously better than you.”

Eventually Mingyu saunters over to stand in front of him. Before he can question what he’s doing, Wonwoo’s arms are being lifted and Mingyu is slipping a hoodie over his head.

“I have my own hoodie,” Wonwoo mumbles, words half muffled by the thick clothing being placed over him.

“Yeah, but I think the stuff I own is thicker. It’s usually colder where I live,” Mingyu smiles down at him. “Plus I don’t mind.”

Wonwoo bites the inside of his cheek. Mingyu is right— the hoodie is warm. It’s like a warm hug... kind of like being hugged by Mingyu twenty-four seven. It smells a little like him too, underneath the scent of laundry detergent.

Wonwoo’s eyes widen at his own thoughts. He’s pretty sure his cheeks are turning red because Mingyu tilts his head with curiosity.

“T-thanks,” Wonwoo pathetically stutters.

Mingyu doesn’t say anything at his questionable actions, and instead asks him, “Do you want something to eat? I made food and put it in the fridge for when you’d get back.”

Wonwoo shakes his head and Mingyu sits down with a sigh.

“You sure?” he asks, as he drapes the blanket that had been sitting on the couch over Wonwoo.

“I had a bunch of snacks while studying. I’m really not hungry. Maybe closer to midnight.”

“Midnight?” Mingyu chuckles. “Please, you look like you’re about to pass out right now.”

Wonwoo ignores the comment and huddles deeper into Mingyu’s hoodie, unable to stop himself from taking in a small breath. Was it creepy to find Mingyu’s scent comforting?

Also, wouldn’t it be better if he shared the blanket? The small portable heater can’t possibly do enough to heat the whole apartment— and Mingyu must be a little cold too, right?

Without overthinking things any longer, he shuffles closer to where Mingyu’s sitting a safe distance away from him. Wonwoo’s eyes are drooping shut as he nudges over the cloth, inviting Mingyu underneath the blanket. There’s no movement for a long couple seconds before he feels a body hesitantly move beside him.

Mingyu’s elbows and shoulders brush his. They remain like that for who knows how long, because the next thing Wonwoo knows, something firm presses against his side.

There’s stiffness in his neck as he gradually lifts his head. It slowly dawns on him that he’d dozed off on Mingyu’s shoulder and he eases away to sit upright. His eyes trail up from Mingyu’s lap to his fingers where he’s tapping his phone screen, to the curved muscular line of his arm to shoulders, and then his face.

Mingyu glances at him.

Under normal circumstances this would’ve embarrassed the hell out of Wonwoo and he’d be out of that room before taking another breath; but at the moment, he’s far too sleepy and exhausted to gather the energy to get up. And in his half-asleep state, his only thought is that the air around them is cold, and that’s reason enough to snuggle further into Mingyu’s side.

And so that’s what he does.

For a split second, Mingyu freezes beside him, and this wakes Wonwoo up a little. He wants to pull away, but just as quickly, the tense muscles of Mingyu’s arms and shoulders uncoil as if he just remembered that Wonwoo can feel him.

“My face is cold,” Wonwoo finally mumbles.

Mingyu’s light chuckles fill the quiet air around them. “Can’t really do anything about that can we?”

Wonwoo lifts his head up to look at him, whose warm brown eyes waver in their sockets, and his thoughts suddenly feel way too loud in the silence of the apartment.

He presses his lips into a thin line, forcing any words from slipping out to greet the cold air. Damn, that portable heater really sucked.

He drops his head back down against Mingyu’s shoulders and plays with the loose threads that line the blanket. He wants to keep his eyes open for at least a little while. After all, it was only 10:30, judging by the clock in front of them.

He thinks back to Jihoon and Seungcheol and well, that whole thing . He now remembers what he’d been meaning to ask Mingyu when he first entered the apartment.

He doesn’t look up, and only talks.

“Hey Mingyu?”

“Yeah?”

“There are many people out there who share the same name right? Especially with Korean names.... since many share the same family names.”

“Well yeah...” Mingyu answers.

“So really, the only way to confirm if someone is your soulmate is to see if you two have each other’s names right?”

“That’s right.”

There’s a short pause before Mingyu asks, “Why are you asking me this?”

Wonwoo bites his lips. Jihoon wouldn’t want him to meddle in his business— but it’s difficult to do nothing for his friend, when the pieces are right there in front of him. Wonwoo is finally beginning to understand how Soonyoung must’ve felt with him.

“Jihoon may or may not have found his soulmate. I met the, um, guy at my work.”

“Oh.” Mingyu’s voice is distant, as though it’s lost in thought.

“But he... he doesn’t want me to introduce him to this person.”

“Have you asked him why?”

Wonwoo shrugs. “Kinda? Not really... I don’t think he’ll answer me anyway.”

“You should try.”

“Yeah... but in the meanwhile, can you look at someone and confirm if they’re someone else’s soulmate?”

“Me?”

“Yes you, who else?” Wonwoo rolls his eyes. “Don’t you have powers like that?”

“Sort of,” Mingyu snorts. “It’s usually just an instinctual kind of feeling. Not some fancy ability”

“I see...”

Wonwoo stops playing along the hem of the blanket. He’d reached the point where the tips of his fingers meet Mingyu’s. He wants to reach out and touch, but he doesn’t. He clenches the fabric in his fist and gulps.

Maybe Mingyu notices his clenched hands, because he asks, “Hey, you ok?”

“I- I’m good. Just sleepy,” Wonwoo says after a lull between them passes. It isn’t false— his eyelids sag and his limbs are heavy and tired.

“Come on then,” Mingyu pulls him up. “I’ll help you bring the heater to your room.”

Wonwoo wordlessly nods, and opens the door for Mingyu when he carries the machine in. He plugs it in, and turns to make his exit.

“Mingyu.” Wonwoo calls out and Mingyu stops in his tracks. “You... you can stay here.”

“It’s fine,” Mingyu says, the movement of his limbs now stiff and hesitant.

“No it’s not, seriously,” Wonwoo shakes his head. “ It was cold out there even with the heater... it’ll get a lot worse, especially without it. My room is small— the heater will actually work better in here, so it’ll be warm.

There’s a pause with neither of them saying anything.

“You can stay here,” Wonwoo repeats.

Why was Mingyu making this so difficult? They’ve slept in the same room even before they really knew each other. It shouldn’t be a big deal at all.  

“Okay.” Mingyu finally says.

In response, Wonwoo lightly takes his by the wrist and steers him to his bed. He crawls in first and moves close towards the wall, leaving considerable room beside him.

Mingyu stands unmoving for a bit longer, but after a couple of seconds he seems to give in with a sigh, and lies down beside him.

Wonwoo sighs and burrows deeper into the pleasant heat of the covers. Thank god he saved up and bought such a nice comforter set.

Eventually, Mingyu turns his face from the ceiling to lie on his side so that they’re both facing each other with their hands between their chests. Mingyu blinks against the darkness, and something twists achingly in Wonwoo’s chest when they so much as meet eyes.

“You know how you asked if I could confirm whether someone is your soulmate or not?” Mingyu asks, almost in a whisper.

“Yeah...” Wonwoo responds, voice equally hushed, because something about the darkness of the room and night outside commands silence from them.

“The thing is, a normal person should be able to tell as well.”

“Tell what?”

“If you’re soulmates or not,” Mingyu explains. “Maybe they can’t tell as well as vespers can... but when you meet your soulmate, you should feel an immediate kind of connection with them.”

Mingyu pauses, maybe to gather his thoughts. “Not necessarily romantic feelings, or love at first sight or whatever— but something special.”

“A... connection?” Wonwoo’s voice is now lost in thought from what Mingyu just told him. Had he ever met someone and immediately felt a connection with them?

“Yeah a connection...”

“Elaborate please.”  

Mingyu sighs, but Wonwoo doesn’t miss the slight upward curve of his lips. “Maybe an immediate feeling that you want to get to know them. They interest or intrigue you— even if you’ve barely spoken to them. Or maybe you haven’t at all.”

Wonwoo nods his head to let him know he’s listening along.

“And you should probably find their presence immediately comforting, or pleasant— like you like being around them. And that feeling of having a special connection can go a lot deeper too.”

“Oh.”

Mingyu’s voice clouds his brain. His words make him uneasy, because of the familiarity in them.

Suddenly Wonwoo is too scared to peer any further into his own thoughts, in fear of what’d he’d find. So he does his best to clear his mind, and focuses on the hazy dust of orange streetlight that’s filtering through the curtains, casting shadows on the walls.

There’s a faint puff of air against his cheeks, when Wonwoo realizes with a start that they’d moved a lot closer through the course of the conversation. Their faces are close enough that they couldn’t place another head between them.

Wonwoo’s eyes trail down from Mingyu’s eyes, to his nose, to his lips— and they linger there longer than they should— before he drops his gaze down to their hands that rest between their chests.

Their hands almost act as a separation between them, and for the second time today he has the urge to reach out and tangle their fingers together.

“Mingyu I–”

“Go to sleep.” His voice is hushed.

Wonwoo doesn’t fight back and try to complete his sentence.  A small part of him is disappointed from being cut off— but another part, a much greater part, is relieved— because frankly, what was he even going to say?

Before he can let himself dwell over it for too long, he slips his tired eyes shut.

Wonwoo’s eyes flutter open early the next morning at 7am, and in an instant a blush creeps across his skin. Mingyu must’ve moved a lot closer to him during the night because his arms are gently wrapped around Wonwoo, and he feels his steady warm breath fanning across his cheeks.

Wonwoo weighs his options. He could wake Mingyu up, or attempt to slip away silently. It was way too early to be up at this time on a morning of winter break, but this was Mingyu , and he probably wouldn’t mind.

Mingyu always mentioned that he got up pretty early in the mornings anyway (which Wonwoo found repulsive, but oh well).

With that decision set in mind, Wonwoo begins poking at his bare arms.

“Mingyu,” he whispers loudly.

In response Mingyu only whines, still likely 95 percent asleep. The arms around him tighten and Wonwoo’s shirt rides up his torso a little when Mingyu pulls him closer.

His eyes widen by a fraction when Mingyu’s palms press against the small part of his exposed back. Despite the slightly cold morning air, his skin feels that much more heated.

Before he can react, Mingyu’s nose and lips brush against the crook of his neck and alarm bells finally sound in his brain. Wonwoo’s pulse quickens and he’s already seeing bright flashes of neon signs reading NOPENOPENOPE .

Well, Wonwoo nearly shoves the other off his bed.

Mingyu’s eyes open partially, and he looks at him in a daze. In Wonwoo’s flustered, panicked state, he lightly smacks the side of Mingyu’s head and harshly whispers, “Get up!” before hopping off the bed and speed walking to the bathroom.

When the bathroom door is safely closed behind him he clutches his cheeks in his palms, at last calming down.

He’s partway through scrubbing his teeth, when he begins to feel bad for greeting Mingyu with a blow to his head first thing in the morning. But well... in his defense, he was panicking.

There’s a light knock on the door, and Wonwoo spits out his toothpaste.

“Come in.”

His eyes roam to the mirror to see Mingyu leaning against the doorway to Wonwoo’s left. Their eyes meet in the mirror, and he knows that Mingyu is probably thinking about his rude awakening.

Wonwoo doesn’t bring it up though, and instead opts to greet him normally. “Hey.”

“Hi,” Mingyu responds curtly. His lips are drawn into a tight line, and the air around them is oddly thick and awkward.

“Did you sleep well?” Wonwoo asks brightly, trying to unravel this tenseness that exists between them.

“Yeah, I did. You?”

“Yep. I think the heater actually did its job,” Wonwoo says, unable to suppress awkward chuckles.

“That’s good,” Mingyu murmurs, and his fingertips graze across Wonwoo’s shoulders as he walks to the back of the bathroom, towards the laundry basket that sits in the corner.

Wonwoo’s muscles turn rigid at the touch, though Mingyu doesn’t seem to notice. The gesture must be absentminded since Mingyu barely spares him a glance, and nothing changes about his calm demeanour as he puts some clothes in the basket.

“You want to shower first?” Mingyu offers, looking over his shoulder. “I can make breakfast. The workers won’t be here until an hour and a half or something.”

“S-sure.”

Mingyu wordlessly moves to stand beside him in front of the sink and starts to brush his teeth as well. Over the course of brushing their teeth almost in sync, the awkwardness that had hung between them dissolves and it’s easier for Wonwoo to breathe.

“Sorry for hitting you awake,” He at last manages to mumble out when he’s done brushing and is washing his toothbrush. His hand stills under the running water, waiting for a response.

Mingyu stops scrubbing his teeth momentarily and says something that Wonwoo can’t quite catch. His words come out garbled and incoherent with his mouth full of toothpaste.

“Uh sorry, what?” Wonwoo asks, his nose wrinkled in disgust.

Mingyu shakes his head, bending over to spit out his toothpaste before speaking again.

“I said, you’re forgiven— but I was having a really good dream you know that?”

Wonwoo quirks his eyebrows up, now curious. “Oh really?” he drawls out. “And what was it about?”

“Puppies.”

“Lame.” He shrugs as he turns off the tap.

“Is not! I’ve never owned a puppy ok? We’re not allowed at the Celestial agency,” Mingyu pouts. “It was the best dream ever. The pup was a big one, and it was all cuddly and soft...” He sighs.

“Sounds terrible,” he retorts, at last understanding why Mingyu was clinging onto him in the morning. The guy was dreaming about puppies— of fucking course— how Kim Mingyu-ish of him.

“What?!” He squawks. “Seriously, I’m beginning to think you have something against puppies.”  

Wonwoo only shrugs, and is tempted to laugh at the offended pout on Mingyu’s face. “I just don’t like dogs.”

Mingyu gasps exaggeratedly. “Ok, I don’t think we can get along anymore. Sorry, I guess I’m moving out.”

Wonwoo rolls his eyes. “Well I... I don’t really dislike them or anything. Actually I’m just a bit...” he frowns and pauses, not wanting to be made fun of.

“You’re just what?”

“I’m kind of scared of them,” he admits.

Mingyu blinks at him in surprise. “Really?”

“I know it’s lame ok?” Wonwoo frowns, turning around to dry his hands with a towel. “But when I was young, and my mother was still... around, my family used to go back to Korea to visit some relatives. Some of them lived on this street with a ton of stray dogs, and some of those strays were actually kind of scary.”

Wonwoo shivers a little as one particular terrifying memory he had of him and his cousin playing in those dusty streets. They shouldn’t have been there in the first place, but they were dumb little boys who thought it would be fun to do what the adults advised them not to. Let’s just say they ended up sprinting away from a violent stray, and while Wonwoo got away, his cousin wasn’t so lucky.

Mingyu’s frown goes from offended to mildly concerned. “You should come to a puppy shelter with me then.”

“What? No!” Wonwoo exclaims, alarmed by the fleeting image of being surrounding by barking, running dogs.

“The best way to get over a fear is to face it,” Mingyu shrugs. “None of them will hurt you. I promise.”

Wonwoo bites his lower lip, unable to flat out reject Mingyu’s offer, simply because his words sound so earnest.

“It’ll just be like the cat café. Besides, the most they’ll do is nip at you." He smiles and reaches out to ruffle his hair.

Wonwoo’s face grows warm from what he labels as an affectionate gesture, and he hopes Mingyu doesn’t take notice. He averts his eyes and nods absentmindedly. “Maybe.”

He’s about to turn away to exit the bathroom when Mingyu’s voice stops him. “Um hey, Wonwoo?”

“Yeah?”

“A coworker of mine, invited me to this party tonight,” Mingyu starts. “He said I could bring a friend, since he doesn’t know many people there either. You wanna come with us?”

Wonwoo pauses. Parties, new people, late nights— it’s nothing he’s a fan of. Parties gave him a lot of anxiety in high school, at least from the grand total of two times he ventured into one. Now he’s only mildly anxious from them, as long as he’s with his friends.

“Um my coworker, he’s a really nice guy,” Mingyu rambles on when Wonwoo doesn’t respond. “He’s new here. You’ll actually probably like him. He kind of reminds me of you...”

Wonwoo opens his mouth to say he’ll go, but before he says anything, the annoying voice at the back of his head nags at him.

“Wait, what’s the day today again?” he asks.

“Friday.”

“Shit,” Wonwoo finds himself groaning.

“Huh?”

“My classes start again on Monday,” Wonwoo shakes his head. “Sorry, I don’t think I can go. I feel like I haven’t gotten enough work that I wanted to get done over break.”

Mingyu smiles. “That’s fine.”

“Sorry,” he repeats, because somehow Mingyu of all the people asking him actually made him want to go. Jeon Wonwoo wanting to go to a fucking party— it’s unfathomable, yet here it is.

“Hey it’s okay.” Mingyu shrugs. “I’ll have double the fun for you as you study.”

Wonwoo laughs at that as he turns around to exit the bathroom. “Okay Mingyu.”

Mingyu. Drunk calling. At 12:30 am.  

It seems like an awful cliché, but ever since Mingyu appeared in front of him, maybe Wonwoo’s life is slowly becoming a big fat cliché.

“I... I want to see you,” Mingyu’s words are slurred and hazy even through his cellphone.  

“Mingyu,” Wonwoo sighs. “I thought you said you were gonna get a ride back with your friend? He wasn’t planning to drink right?”

“I don’t want to.”

“What do you mean you don’t want to?” Wonwoo snaps, trying to hold back the irritation in his voice and failing. He begins pacing absentmindedly in front of his bed.

“Wonwoo I want to suh-see you. C-can you come pick me up? Pl...please?”

“It’s past midnight. Seriously, where’s your friend? Let me talk to him”

“I dunno where Junnie is,” Mingyu sniffles. “Don’t wanna see him.”

“You don’t what now?” Wonwoo’s palms begin to stick with sweat against his phone, and his footsteps back and forth in his little room quicken. “Mingyu, did something happen?”

“Nuh-nothing happened. Jus- just want you here. Please Won?” His voice breaks a little at the end.

Wonwoo abruptly halts his steps. “H-hey! Wait, are you crying?” Immediately, panic is worming its way through his stomach, and Wonwoo takes a small gulp. “Ok jesus, wait. Where is the house?”

“It’s at the corner of the street,” Mingyu says, before pausing to so helpfully add, “I’m under the big ass tree in the um... f-front yard.”

Wonwoo wants to pull his hair out. “No, the address Mingyu. The address.”

“Oh. Uh Suh-sixty something, Ro...Rooster Street.”

“You mean Roster Street.”

“Dude whaddever.”

“Okay okay,” Wonwoo sighs and tries to calm down. Mingyu has patiently dealt with drunk him. He should try and do the same. “I’ll be there in 15.”       

“B-but, that’s too long,” Mingyu’s voice breaks again.

“What the fuck, are you crying again? Please stop crying,” Wonwoo begs.

“Am not crying,” Mingyu sniffs. “I’m just sad. What am I supposed to do for 15 hours?”

Wonwoo almost wants to burst out into anxiety-induced laughter. He’s really not good at dealing with this. “15 minutes Mingyu. Minutes.”

“O-Oh, okay then. It’s fine, I guess.”

“Yeah. See you soon.”

“Bye. Luh-love you.”

Wonwoo nearly chokes on his spit. He wills himself to keep his composure when he says, “Please don’t move and do anything stupid after I hang up, ok?”

“K-kay.”

And with that, Wonwoo ends the call and let’s out a world-weary sigh. He kind of wants to sink into the ground and disappear, plus wipe out his memory of everything Mingyu just said to him so he can go to sleep peacefully.

Instead, he throws on some jeans and a jacket, and runs out of his apartment to Jihoon’s place.

After a couple harsh knocks, Jihoon opens his door with a groggy and unhappy, ‘what the hell are you doing at my door at midnight’ kind of face.

“I need to borrow your car,” He wheezes out, having just run up 4 flights of stairs.

“What the fuck Wonwoo?”

“I’m sorry!” Wonwoo cries out defensively. “Look, Mingyu’s drunk, at some party. And I don’t know what happened, but instead of getting a ride with his friend like he was supposed to, he called me and begged me to come pick him up. He nearly started crying when I tried to tell him no!”

Jihoon sighs and rubs his nose bridge between his thumb and forefinger. He spins back into his apartment and comes back with a set of keys jingling in his palms. “Alright, just make it quick. I want to sleep.”

Wonwoo nods and takes the keys.

“You know where my car is parked right?”

“Yeah,” Wonwoo says and is off down the hallway.

“Hey!” Jihoon barks out from the door. “Make sure he doesn’t puke in my car or I’ll kill you!”

“Got it!” Wonwoo yells back without turning around.

When he’s finally seated in Jihoon’s car, he punches in the street name on his phone. Although Mingyu didn’t give him a proper house number, he’ll probably be able to just find it by looking for the house at the corner of the road with a big ass tree— and hopefully a Kim Mingyu underneath said tree.

Wonwoo sighs and starts up the car. He’s only driven Jihoon’s car twice, unlike Soonyoung’s car and was definitely not used to it. Nonetheless he tries not to think about it, and just drives.

It only takes about seven minutes to reach the destination, and sure enough Mingyu is standing under a huge bare tree, speckled with some snow. When Wonwoo drives right next to him, he can see that the guy is shivering a little in his leather jacket.

He pulls down the window and calls out his name to get his attention.

Mingyu nods, and walks (or rather, attempts to walk) around the front of the car. He nearly trips once, and then twice, which makes Wonwoo flinch and groan.

He eventually reaches the door in one piece and stumbles inside. Wonwoo reaches over to readjust his limbs so that they’re all in the vehicle, and buckles in his seatbelt, all while Mingyu whimpers that his head hurts.

When he's secured, Wonwoo starts driving and he feels the boy’s unwavering gaze on him. He refuses to glance over, but his eyes widen when suddenly there are cold fingertips running against his cheeks.

“Mingyu don’t touch me,” Wonwoo snaps.

He doesn’t mean for the words to come out so harsh, but Mingyu is distracting him from driving. They’re still in old housing area so the street lamps are few and far in-between— plus, it really doesn’t help when people park their damn cars on both sides of the street for the night, so he needs to drive in fear as he tries to squeeze in the suddenly all too narrow road.

“You’re mad at me,” Mingyu whimpers, dropping his hands immediately.

Wonwoo turns to him when he reaches a stop sign.  Mingyu is playing with his fingers in his lap and his eyes are glazed over slightly. “I’m sorry,” Mingyu sniffs, resting his head against his seatbelt.

Wonwoo closes his eyes. “It’s fine. I’m not mad at you.”

“You’re not?”

“No, I’m not,” Wonwoo sighs, leaning back in his seat as well. “I’m just a bit annoyed cause I’m tired that’s all. Plus you worried me.”

“I’m s-sorry,” he repeats again.

“It’s ok Mingyu.”

Mingyu nods his head at that, and then immediately furrows his eyebrows in pain, likely from the headache he’s experiencing.

Wonwoo looks at him for a bit longer, still confused as to why Mingyu wanted to see him so badly, and what on earth happened to the friend that was supposed to drive him back— but well, Mingyu clearly doesn’t want to talk about it. And even if he did talk, who knows if his drunken words would make sense anyway.

So with that in mind, he starts driving again.

***

2 hours earlier.

“Mingyu, meet Chan. Chan meet Mingyu,” Junhui points between the two of them.

Chan smiles brightly at him.

The three are currently about to get into Chan’s car to head to the party.

On the ride there, Mingyu learns that Chan is a freshman in college. Although he does look a bit young it surprises Mingyu because he definitely doesn’t act like it.

“Is this your own car?” Mingyu asks him from the backseat, while Junhui sits in the shotgun.

“Yeah,” Chan grins, glancing into the rearview mirror at him. “I’ve had it since highschool when I got my license. My parents wanted to buy a new car so they gave this old one to me. Well more like I bought it from them with the money I saved up from working, so yeah...”

Mingyu nods his head in understanding.

“Chan works at the same place as us Mingyu,” Junhui informs him. “You haven’t had any shifts with him though, clearly.”

“Oh, is that how you two met?”

Chan nods his head and starts talking about how Junhui and him met.

The conversation continues like that for the rest of the ride and Chan asks about his school and work.

Sometimes Mingyu does feel a little bad about constantly lying, but he can’t do much about it. He isn’t supposed to announce what he is to every person he comes across.

The only ones he’s decided that he’s fine with knowing (other than Wonwoo obviously), are Soonyoung and Jihoon— simply because of how close Wonwoo is with them.

They eventually reach their destination and Mingyu needs to remind himself why he’s here. Junhui said he wanted to socialize and make some more friends because he sucked at that. Now Mingyu isn’t sure a house full of drunk college kids are going to help Junhui make friends, but he sure thinks so, and what does Mingyu know anyway?

But it’s not just that— Junhui said this was a huge party some third years were throwing. It’s a well known fact that soulmates tend to most commonly be the same age, give and take one or two years. So if this party is going to be full of third years from Wonwoo’s campus, then Mingyu may have a sliver of luck of running into Wonwoo’s soulmate.

Mingyu gulps and nervously enters the house behind Junhui and Chan. It’s crowded and he needs to weave through the bodies in the hallway.

His eyes flit around, jumping from wrist to wrist to find a name that catches his eye. He should be relaxed, but for some absurd reason he can’t stop the tight knots from forming in his stomach as he looks around for Wonwoo’s soulmate.

Junhui must’ve taken notice because he draws his brows together. “You okay?”

“Y-yeah,” he stammers. The humidity in here was already making him sweat.

“God it’s way too crowded in here,” Junhui mutters tugging off the top buttons of his black shirt.

He glances at Mingyu once more before taking his wrist and steering him towards the kitchen. “Honestly you look like you need a drink, come on.”

Chan and Junhui set down the bottles of beer they’d bought from their little alcohol run before the party, and Junhui immediately cracks one open.

Meanwhile Chan grabs a cup and fills it with tap water, being the responsible driver he is.

Mingyu gulps. Yeah sure, he could drink a little... just not much because he technically is here for his job.

But really, Mingyu just needs to loosen up and have some fun for once. Lately, all he’s been doing is feeling sick over Wonwoo, moping about Wonwoo, worrying because of Wonwoo, and the list goes on. He really needs to do something else.

Without thinking anymore about it, he takes the drink offered to him.

It’s been an hour or so, and Mingyu has lost Junhui and Chan. He’s currently making small talk with this girl that may or may not be flirting with him— he’s a little too buzzed to care.

After a while he excuses himself, and goes to find Junhui and Chan.

He heads to the basement, and finds that it’s even louder than upstairs. Music is pounding against the walls and low ceiling, and currently there’s a game of beer pong happening on the table at the middle of the room.

It takes Mingyu a whole lot of shoving, and kicking littered cups and bottles on the hardwood floor to reach Junhui who’s standing beside the table, in the midst of the crowd.

He has a cup of something in his hands, and his eyes are glassy. His usual hesitance and awkwardness around others has dissipated, and he’s laughing loudly with who Mingyu guesses is a stranger he started a conversation with.

“Heyyy Mingyu,” Junhui slurs out and swings an arm around Mingyu’s neck rather forcefully, and he nearly winces when his arm slaps against his chest. “Was wondering where you went. Anyway, here, Mingyu meet Mark.” Junhui lazily points towards the guy he’d been talking with whose glazed over eyes and dopey smile replicates Junhui’s— obviously drunk as well.

“Mark meet Mingyu, my co-worker,” Junhui says, poking Mingyu’s cheeks.

Mark’s eyes enlarge, and he stares at Mingyu seemingly star struck. “Wow,” the boy breathes, and then proceeds to squeeze Mingyu’s cheeks. “You’re handsome. Like really handsome.”

Junhui giggles at that and swats Mark’s hands away. “Fuck off. He’s not interested in you.”

Mark pouts. “How would you know?”

“Mingyu tell him,” Junhui stares at him, a mischievous alcohol induced glint in his eye. “Mingyu only likes me,” he continues to giggle, latching his arm around Mingyu.

Mark simply sticks his tongue out at Junhui, and then all at once the two begin laughing like something super funny happened. Mingyu sighs.

“Alright alright, enough of this, let’s go,” Mingyu says, tugging Junhui away from the crowd, who is busy solemnly waving goodbye to the Mark kid.

They sit down on one of the couches upstairs in the guest room area, and Mingyu is pleased to find that it’s a lot less crowded than the basement.

Chan is there as well, talking to a couple older girls who clearly have taken a liking to him— something about how they find him mature and cute or whatever.

“Hey Mingyu,” Chan greets him, and his eyes immediately move to Mingyu’s left where a stumbling Junhui is clinging onto him, and he shoots him a sympathetic smile.

They settle down on one of the cushioned couches, and Junhui immediately releases Mingyu’s arm and frowns down at his cup. “Empty,” he mutters with a pout.

Before Mingyu even blinks, Junhui’s reaching for another random full cup of something that’s beside their seats and Mingyu immediately snatches it out of his reach.

“Heyyyy! You’re no fun Gyu,” Junhui frowns making grabby motions with his hand. “I wanna get drunk!!”

“You’re already drunk. No more of this,” Mingyu shakes his head, amused. Meanwhile Chan is sitting across from them, watching the ridiculousness and snickering.

After a couple seconds of whining, Junhui reluctantly gives up on trying to get the drink— or so Mingyu thinks— when all at once, his arm shoots out and he tries to snatch the cup from Mingyu’s grasp. The drink ends up splashing all over his hands and the couch.

Junhui’s mouth shapes into an ‘o’ in surprise. “Oops.”

“Dammit your watch, take it off,” Mingyu blurts out— unsurprised that Junhui is less concerned about his own expensive brand-name watch, than Mingyu is.

Chan is already grabbing napkins to wipe the sofa as Mingyu unlatches the watch, while Junhui just cluelessly blinks as though he doesn’t understand what’s going on.

And as Mingyu finally gets the watch off, he doesn’t miss the clear sprawl of ink across Junhui’s skin.

The black letters on his delicate tan skin spell out an unmistakable name—

Mingyu freezes at the sight.

It like something inside him just stops.

The world around him moves in slow motion, and the loud voices and blaring music of the party are so far away. Everything is muffled, and Junhui’s watch is weightless in his palms.

“Mingyu... Mingyu.” There’s a distant voice calling his name.

He blinks and looks up to see Chan’s worried face alongside a drunk and confused Junhui.

“You okay?” Chan asks him.

“Huh?” Mingyu asks, still in a daze. “Oh yeah, yeah... I’m fine.”

Mingyu forces a laugh, but the sound comes out harsh and clashes against his eardrums almost painfully. He fumbles with the watch in his hands as he sloppily tries to wipe it clean and shake any liquid out of it. He’s aware that his fingers are lightly trembling, and his throat feels like someone scraped sandpaper across it.

When did this room become so suffocating and hot? It’s as though the heat around him is pressing down on his chest, making it hard to breathe.

He shoots up from his seat, and glances down at Junhui and Chan. “I- I’m gonna go....” Mingyu stammers out. “I m-mean, I need to go to the bathroom, yeah...”

“Oh okay,” is the last thing he hears Chan say, sounding vaguely confused, before Mingyu turns and exits the room.

He doesn’t quite know what he’s doing as he downs the drink in his hand. He’s on a small balcony, and a couple kids across from him have been continuously smoking for who knows how long.

He breathes in the smoke filled air and closes his eyes

The same image flashes across his mind for the billionth time, and Mingyu wants nothing more than to grab another drink—even if the reasonable voice at the back of his head is telling him to stop.

He keeps replaying the sight of those delicate sweeps of black, etching out an all too familiar name against Junhui’s left wrist. The letters start swimming and swirling, re-arranging themselves over and over in his mind.

He sinks against his chair, breathing heavily and presses his fingers against his temples.

Well okay, maybe he understands where his massive headache came from— but he doesn’t understand the heaviness pressing against his chest for the past half-hour. He just wants to be free of this suffocating feeling.

Why on earth does he feel this way? It’s as though the bundles of nerves inside of him are coiling like live wire, and dread sits at the pit of his stomach.

He should be celebrating, shouldn’t he?

He should be happy. He’s finally done. He didn’t fail his job. He can finally go home soon.

Yet for an inexplicable reason, ‘home’ has suddenly turned into such a foreign concept for him.

Why is it that when he pictures home, instead of seeing the cold stone towers he’d been so accustomed to all his life, he sees a quaint apartment with a patterned carpet, and tiny potted plants lining the windows. Why does he picture books, and gaming controllers strewn about, and fuzzy blue slippers? Why is it that when he thinks of home, he sees ruffled black hair, and round wire-rimmed glasses framing sharp dark eyes?

He doesn’t want to think about this any longer. It’s only hurting his head more and more as time lurches forward, the same way his stomach is lurching about now. He really doesn’t want to be here anymore either— maybe he doesn’t want to be anywhere.

Mingyu gets up from his chair and everything starts spinning. He bites out profanities as he stumbles inside the house.

What part of him thought it would be ok to have seven fucking drinks within the span of half-an-hour? Stupid Mingyu. Stupid.

Leaning against the wall with his temples throbbing, he fishes his phone out of his pocket. After dropping his phone at least three times, and then pressing the wrong buttons who knows how many times, he somehow miraculously manages to click on the only thing, or rather person, that his messed up, alcohol soaked brain is thinking of right now.

He clicks on Wonwoo’s phone number.

***

Wonwoo manages to get Mingyu back to his apartment without any issue, and eventually Mingyu is settling onto the couch with a sigh.

“Wonwoo,” he suddenly says as Wonwoo is hanging up their jackets in the closet.

“Hmm?” Wonwoo turns to face him, walking closer to the couch.

There’s a long silent pause between them.

Mingyu’s lower lip trembles, and his pupils waver in their sockets as he stares at Wonwoo.

“What is it?” Wonwoo asks again, this time impulsively reaching out to touch Mingyu’s cheek because something about the helplessness written across his face calls for it.

Before Wonwoo can react, tears bubble in Mingyu’s eyes and start dribbling down his cheeks.

“Wonwoo,” he repeats, but his voice is choked up this time, breaking at the end.

“H-hey, what’s wrong?” Claws of anxiety scratch almost threateningly against Wonwoo’s chest as he speaks. He really isn’t good at dealing with people when they become like this— much less people he... people he cares about.

It’s scary how unaware he is as to why Mingyu is suddenly crying like this. Up until now, he’d only been drunkenly sniffling and whimpering, and overall being just whiny.

Mingyu reaches up and wraps his arms around Wonwoo’s torso from where he’s sitting, and Wonwoo starkly feels the way Mingyu’s shoulders are trembling.

His fingers shake a little as he tries to card through Mingyu’s hair in what he hopes can calm him down.

“Gyu please tell me what happened.”

His words are only met with the sounds of Mingyu sobbing harder, and it strikes a pang in his chest.

He eventually tries to lower himself onto the couch, and not once does Mingyu unhook his arms from where they’re wound around his body.

“I... I’m so stupid,” Mingyu chokes out between sobs. “So fucking stupid,” he repeats.

“N-no Mingyu, you’re not,” Wonwoo tries to reassure him.

“I am!” he cries out and shakes his head, burrowing himself further into Wonwoo’s shoulders. “I... I don’t even know what’s wrong with me. I don’t know why it hurts so much. Wuh-why does it hurt so much?”

“Why does what hurt so much?” Wonwoo’s voice quivers at the question.

Mingyu shakes his head so forcefully, it pushes him away a little.

“Everything?” The words come out so quiet, so weak and worn out.

Mingyu lifts his head to meet his eyes, and Wonwoo’s heart falls so hard it hurts his chest. His eyes are red, and his cheeks are tear streaked, and his breathing is way too heavy.

Wonwoo’s never seen him like this.

Kim Mingyu is someone who smiles brightly with his full set of pointy and cute canine teeth. He laughs obnoxiously with his whole body. He speaks with so much excitement his mouth trips over his own sentences.

What he most definitely doesn’t do is cry until he gets tired, or look and sound so defeated like this. At least that’s what Wonwoo always thought.

He slowly wipes both of Mingyu’s cheeks with his thumbs, before pulling him back down again against his shoulders. It’s a little awkward because Mingyu is taller than him, but he eases into Wonwoo’s embrace anyway.

Wonwoo rests his head atop of Mingyu’s soft hair and closes his eyes.

He has no idea what to do, and it seems wrong to say “everything will be okay” when he doesn’t even know what entails things being ‘okay’.

Instead, he just lets the minutes tick by as he focuses on gently drawing circular motions on Mingyu’s back to calm him down, at least a little.

⊹ 　　　　　 　　
✦  * .   　 　
　　　*    ˚ ✷ · 　 ⋆
　　　 ·  ˚ 　　　 　　　　　　　　　　
 · 　　　　*  　　　　 　
.   　 + 　　　　 ·   .

Chapter Text

“Come on!” Soonyoung grins as he drags Mingyu along behind him—picture a tiny overexcited child, dragging their doll behind them during playtime—yeah that’s kind of how Mingyu felt at the moment.

“W-wait! Where are we going?” he stammers out, trying to catch his breath.

“To do important business,” comes the response, and there’s an evident smirk in Soonyoung’s voice.

This was definitely a plan of sorts, and Mingyu was being shoved into it, whether he wanted to be or not.

The street around them looked familiar, and it quickly dawned on Mingyu that they were getting closer and closer to the bookshop Wonwoo worked at.

Mingyu could make two assumptions here: either Soonyoung wanted to talk to Wonwoo during his shift right now, or he was here to see a certain someone else at this bookstore. Mingyu had a pretty good idea who that someone was.

A couple days ago Mingyu had witnessed Soonyoung, Jihoon, and Wonwoo all together in Wonwoo’s apartment. Mingyu was only there by default because he lived there, but other than that he was an outsider to the events that unfolded.

“Sooo, Jihoon,” Soonyoung eased into the conversation, much like someone tentatively dipping their toes into a cold pool.

Wonwoo visibly gulped.

“Hmm?” Jihoon looked up from his food, annoyance already evident on his face.

Maybe it was the telltale glint in Soonyoung’s eyes that caused Jihoon’s guards to shoot up around him.

Whatever it was, Soonyoung wasn’t backing down.

“A certain someone told me that you had a, ehem, a fated encounter,” Soonyoung said with a click of his tongue, eyebrows wiggling playfully. 

Jihoon’s eyes widened momentarily before a fire seemed to blaze in them all at once. 

Across from him, Wonwoo was practically shaking in his seat— or ok no, maybe Mingyu was exaggerating— but Wonwoo definitely looked uncomfortable.

Jihoon whirled around to Wonwoo with a scowl. “You told him?!” 

Wonwoo hunched up his shoulders defensively. “I’m sorry! I- I was talking to Mingyu about it. Because I wanted to help somehow... and maybe Mingyu could do something. But then Soonyoung overheard, and made me tell him and...” Wonwoo’s voice grew quieter by the passing second until it was just a mumble by the end. 

“Wonwoo,” Jihoon’s scowl deepened.

“I’m sorry,” Wonwoo repeated, voice levelled and eyes sincere this time. He must've understood that this was a big deal for Jihoon.

Soonyoung pouted. “Oh come on, why are you two like this? Is it really that bad that I know about Jihoon’s soulmate?” He questioned, turning to Jihoon. “Why are you so against it?” 

“I’m against it because I know you’ll meddle,” Jihoon snapped back.

Soonyoung eyes darkened, and it’s as though a switch had flicked in him from playful to serious in an instant. “So what? Maybe it’s time you face your fears.”

“They’re not fears,” Jihoon gritted. His knuckles were turning white from how he was clutching the edge of the table. “And it’s my decision Soonyoung.”

“Yeah I know it’s your decision. But I know you ok? I’ve known you since we were thiiis tiny,” Soonyoung lifted his hands a feet from the table to gesture. “And I know how stubborn you are with your ways. You’re gonna be like this for years and years, and one day when we’re way too old you’ll start to regret th—”

“It’s my life. I’ll do whatever the hell I want!” Jihoon shot up from the table with a slam of his hands, and Mingyu flinched at the sudden movement.

Soonyoung only calmly blinked at his friend.

“Yeah it is your life,” he spoke steadily. “But you forget that there are people like me... who kind of care about you, and what you do with your life.” 

Silence blanketed the table, thick and heavy, and it was as though everyone was holding their breath.

“Mingyu, Wonwoo,” Jihoon said, the sharpness in his voice duller now— more tired and almost defeated sounding, like a balloon that had shrivelled up and deflated over time. “Can you two...”

Mingyu blinked in confusion, but Wonwoo was already getting up and tugging his hand. He let himself be pulled by Wonwoo to wherever, which turned out to be his bedroom.

When they were inside, Wonwoo quietly shut the door behind him.

“Better to let them talk it out on their own,” he explained, flopping down on the bed. Mingyu stood there dumbly for a moment, before slowly lowering himself on the edge of the bed.

“They don’t want you there?”

“No it’s not that...” Wonwoo shook his head. “Jihoon just knew I felt awkward sitting there between their argument or whatever it is you know? Especially when I’m not really a part of it.”

“How come you’re not part of it though?” Mingyu hesitated. “You’re so close with them... doesn’t it make you feel left out like this?”

Wonwoo only chuckled in response. “No way. Jihoon and Soonyoung... yeah they’ve been together much much longer than I have been with them. It’s only natural that they’re closest to each other right? But they never make me feel like I’m being left behind, or that they care about each other more than me. They just aren’t like that.”

Mingyu hummed, suddenly glad Wonwoo had friends like that. 

“The reason I’m not talking here is because of the situation I guess...” Wonwoo shrugged. “I don’t think I can provide any useful advice for Jihoon.” 

Mingyu furrowed his eyebrows. He really didn’t understand why it was that Wonwoo thought that. “What do you mean?” he decided to ask.

Wonwoo shrugged, letting his eyes droop slightly. “It’s just that... Jihoon doesn’t like the soulmate system, and I don’t either. Maybe for some similar reasons like him.”

“Like?” he questioned, wanting to know and understand those reasons. Mingyu, up until now had grown up in the agency accepting that the system was the be-all and end-all of human relationships. He was quickly beginning to see that not all people thought the same thing.

“I’m not totally sure... but like, Jihoon’s always been the type to obsess over having control you know?” Wonwoo bit his lips, choosing his words carefully before continuing. “This whole soulmate thing... it’s not really in our control right? Jihoon wants that stability in his life where he can decide everything, choose everything for himself, and so on. He probably feels like this system dictates a big part of his life and he doesn’t like it.”

“And that’s kind of like me.... in a way,” Wonwoo added quietly. “I- I’ve always been kinda scared.”

“Of the system?” Mingyu asked, lowering his volume as well, not wanting to ruin the quiet atmosphere between them.

“Kind of... like being in a relationship with someone. Letting some mark on my wrist decide whether I end up with someone or not. It scared me.”

Mingyu lowered himself to lie beside Wonwoo, pulling his legs up on the mattress, and letting his head bump against the backboard.

“Mhmm.” He nodded along so Wonwoo would know that he was listening.

“Even before 18, I always thought it would send me into panic if a name did appear. And after 18, I was relieved that nothing appeared. It wasn’t just because I refused to trust the Celestial agency that I didn’t contact them you know? Like that was only one reason. But another reason was... maybe I just didn’t want a soulmate.” 

Wonwoo took in a sharp breath before he continued talking.

“I was scared...” he shrugged. “Of letting someone get so close to me in that kind of way.”

Wonwoo shook his head, and it was almost as though he was trying to rid himself of those thoughts. His voice remained quiet, but had somehow hardened and there was an edge in his words now. “I always thought falling in love was like losing that little bit of control you had in life. Like, control over who you give the power to hurt you. Or over your own actions, so you don’t make stupid decisions that’ll ultimately hurt yourself. By not letting anyone that close, it’s just easier isn’t it? You have more control of your life. Less chances of getting hurt.”

Mingyu couldn’t deny some of the truth in Wonwoo’s words. And at the moment, for some estranged reason, they stuck a sharp pang in him and made his chest hurt.

“Do you still feel like that though?” he asked, throat closing rapidly. He took a big gulp. He didn’t know why he was acting like this, and why the past couple days had been so hard for him.

Ever since that party...  

Mingyu tried not to think about it.

Wonwoo shrugged. “Maybe not as strongly. Like take Jihoon and Soonyoung for example. I— I’m glad I let them get this close to me you know? Without them, I think I’d still be that same miserable kid in highschool. So... so maybe it’s worth it to let people get close to you, and the highs outweigh the lows.” 

Mingyu shifted closer to Wonwoo so that their elbows were brushing. “Can you be sure of that?” he asked evenly, turning to face him.

“No....” Wonwoo began slowly. “But let’s just say my friendship with Jihoon and Soonyoung does end badly. I still don’t think I’d want to take back all these years, all these good times we had.” Wonwoo turned his head to stare at him when he spoke now. “I just don’t feel as scared anymore, and I definitely don’t want to keep avoiding people, thinking it’s a good way to protect myself. “

Mingyu's lips stretched into a small unprecedented smile. He remembered back to when Wonwoo and him first met a few months ago. Wonwoo’s words, when he thanked Mingyu for taking care of him when he was sick. Wonwoo had apologized, and said it was his habit to push people away that were nice to him.

Suddenly there was an overwhelming surge of relief inside of Mingyu’s chest. Perhaps it was because whenever Mingyu thought back to the memories Wonwoo had shared with him, they sent shudders through him. He didn’t want to see Wonwoo get hurt or mistreated like that again, and was glad that he had good friends by his side now. 

Mingyu shook his head to clear his thoughts, and met Wonwoo’s gaze that was faraway now. “Then what about Jihoon?”

“I think for Jihoon it’s a little different. He just wants things to be his own choice— or at least that’s what I think. He feels like the soulmate mark controls his life in a way... which it does, doesn’t it? And that’s why he doesn’t like it. He’s also really stubborn so that’s that,” Wonwoo said with a laugh. “I’m sure Soonyoung and him will work it out though. I mean, do you hear anything right now?”

Mingyu blinked to the ceiling, craning his neck to hear what was going on outside of Wonwoo’s quiet but comforting bedroom. And surely enough, as Wonwoo had said, it was fairly silent. There were no raised voices, no slams of objects. 

“This means they’re being civilized and not arguing,” Wonwoo chuckled.

“Do they argue a lot?” 

“Nah,” Wonwoo shook his head. “Just bicker really, and not over big things.”

“That’s good,” Mingyu said, giving him a smile.

Wonwoo instantly mirrored the action, pink lips softly curling up as if on reflex.

They had shifted closer through the course of the conversation and Mingyu could now feel Wonwoo’s knuckles, and their feet brushing each other from their positions lying down.

Turn away Mingyu, a desperate voice in the back of his head pleaded— but of course he didn’t listen. How could he, when it was as though there were invisible threads rooted around him, keeping him in place, keeping his eyes focused on Wonwoo. 

From the moment Mingyu saw him, he had pegged Wonwoo as handsome. There was no room for doubt in that.

But on this particular evening, the air around them felt, well, different. The setting sun was filtering through the windows, bathing the room in hues of orange and pink. Mingyu watched the way the hazy light from outside hit Wonwoo’s dark eyes, making them glow almost like ambers. Wonwoo slowly blinked, his thick short lashes creating shadows over his cheekbones.

Did Wonwoo always look so... beautiful?

It was a startling realization. Mingyu’s heart instantly sped up, and no matter how much he tried to keep his thoughts tethered down tightly so as not to come out into the open— he knew right then and there that this was a losing battle. And if he didn’t stop, sooner or later everything would break loose and crumble away right before his eyes. 

And he’d probably hurt Wonwoo a lot if he didn’t speak up right now.

A tired sigh escaped him and Wonwoo’s smile dissolved away as he pursed his lips together— something Mingyu had come to realize he would do often whenever he was contemplating. 

“Min–”

“Won–”

They froze in mid-sentence for a single beat before Wonwoo pressed his lips into a thin line, an indication that he wanted Mingyu to go first.

“Wonwoo...” he started slowly.

You can do this, the voice in his head encouraged him this time. 

The voice was right. This was his job, of course he could fucking do it. It should be easy... so why was it so painful? 

“Yeah?” Wonwoo said, waiting, ready for whatever he wanted to say.

Great. There was no turning back now. 

“There’s... there’s something I need to tell you. I-it’s important.” Mingyu took in a sharp inhale. “W-well you see... last week. Do you remember how I went to that party an—” 

The door to Wonwoo’s bedroom swung open.

Mingyu exhaled.

He shot up from the bed, instantly moving away from Wonwoo. Jihoon was staring at them, a frown written across his face with his eyes squinted almost suspiciously. Soonyoung was a right behind him, leaning casually against the doorframe.

Mingyu tried to shake off the feeling like he was a specimen being examined under Jihoon’s scalding gaze and instead asked, “So, uh... did you guys sort things out?” 

Jihoon tightly pressed his lips together as Soonyoung jumped up at that question and threw his arms around the smaller boy.

“Yep!” Soonyoung grinned happily.

“This is a terrible idea,” Jihoon muttered, “It’s going to be a dis—”                    

“Shhh,” Soonyoung quickly shushed him, playing with the strands of his hair. “It’ll be great. Besides, you agreed.”

Jihoon’s frown only deepened. “Whatever... And get off of me!” he said, pushing Soonyoung away who only laughed, releasing the arm that had been wrapped around Jihoon.

“Anywayyyy,” Soonyoung’s lips curled up, almost deviously, “Hoonie and I are gonna be on our way now.”

“Wait what? We are?” Jihoon's eyebrows drew together in confusion as Soonyoung started pushing him out the door. “Huh what are you—”

“We’ll leave you two,” Soonyoung grinned at them over his shoulders, his eyes turning to thin lines before he shut the door behind him, and they were left in silence.

They sat there in the complete and utter quiet for a long number of seconds, before Mingyu finally spoke. “Wait... what’s their plan?”

It was an understatement to say he felt a little lost as to what had happened. He turned to Wonwoo for answers, only to be greeted with Wonwoo’s blank face. 

“No clue,” he replied flatly. “Anyway, what was it that you wanted to tell me?”

Mingyu froze. The liquid courage from minutes ago that he’d thought he had was nowhere to be found.

“I...” His breath stuttered and stopped. “I-It’s not important, never mind.”

Wonwoo raised his eyebrows, disbelieving, and Mingyu knew his lie was obvious. He’d literally said it was important a couple minutes ago. He deflated with a sigh and squeezed his eyes shut for a second. 

“I mean... ok that’s not it.” Mingyu sighed. “I’ll just tell you later ok?”

“Promise?” Wonwoo’s gaze was hard now, demanding. 

“Promise,” Mingyu said with a gulp before following Wonwoo out of the room to help clean the kitchen.

“W-wait Soonyoung, why are we going to the bookstore?” Mingyu blurts out, trying to slow down their increasingly widening strides. 

“Um hello? The plan?” Soonyoung retorts as if Mingyu is supposed to know everything.

“Uh genius, you never told me any plan. Remember?”

Soonyoung comes to a halt, squinting in deep concentration at the pavement now. “Oh oops,” he murmurs, pressing his forefinger against his lower lip that’s jutted out. “Did I not? Even Wonwoo didn’t tell you?”

“Soonyoung,” he sighs, exasperation seeping into the corners of his voice. “I don’t think you told Wonwoo either. Unless he forgot then...” Mingyu trails off as realization crosses Soonyoung’s face.

His eyes widen into large saucers almost comically. “Damn you’re right. I didn’t.”

“Yeah I thought so,” Mingyu can’t help but snort. “Wonwoo isn’t that absent minded.”

“Hey!” Soonyoung scowls. “Excuse you, I’m not absentminded.”

Mingyu only snickers at that and slings an arm around him, waiting for him to continue explaining whatever the hell he’s trying to do. 

“Ok well, we’re going to throw a party.”

“A party?”

“Yes a party,” Soonyoung deviously rubs his palms together as if he’s hatching some top secret villainous plan— except he looks too cute for that, so it appears more childish than anything. “My friends from my uni, some of them rent this nice house where we could throw it. I already told them, and they’re chill with it. So we’ll just invite Jihoon’s soulmate, and like lock them in a room together and hope for the best.”

“Uhhh, are you sure about this?” 

“Yes, come on.” Soonyoung rolls his eyes in exasperation pushing Mingyu along. “Jihoon agreed.”

“What on earth did you say for him to agree,” Mingyu mutters under his breath as he gets pushed in through the doors of the cozy bookstore. A bell jingles upon their entrance and he can immediately spot Wonwoo’s back a couple metres away from them, shelving a stack of books.

He turns around to greet them, the smile immediately dropping from his face the moment he sees them.

“Nice to see you too Jeon Wonwoo,” Soonyoung grins, at which Wonwoo only rolls his eyes.

“What’re you guys doing here?”

“We need your help in executing the plan.”

Wonwoo blinks once, and then twice. “What plan?” He finally asks, lost. 

Mingyu gives the ‘see, I told you so’ look, which Soonyoung simply ignores.

“Ok, so I forgot to tell you. My friends from uni are gonna throw a party and we need your help inviting Seungcheol. Where is the handsome man?” Soonyoung peers around the room.

“At the back. He’s adding labels on books,” Wonwoo responds casually, before squinting his eyes rather suspiciously at the two of them. “Why do you want to invite Seungcheol? And why a party?” He makes a face, clearly discomforted at the thought of it.

“It’s the only setting I can think of that Jihoon will actually talk to him.” 

Wonwoo purses his lips, not looking entirely convinced by the idea. 

“It’s true and you know it! Jihoon refuses to come here anymore. And if we go out somewhere and invite Seungcheol along, he’ll definitely be too nervous to talk to him and will only talk to us the whole time. Sooo, a party is perfect. He’ll drink a little, loosen up, talk to Seungcheol— and we have time to leave them alone together. Yeah it’s perfect.” Soonyoung nods his head all matter of factly.

“Ok I guess,” Wonwoo mumbles. “Do I have to be there?”

“Do I have to be there?” Soonyoung mocks, before giving Wonwoo a sharp pat on the head, “Yes you dumbass, you have to be there.” 

Mingyu can’t help but snicker. Wonwoo gives him a quick glare, meeting his eyes for the first time since they entered the store, before immediately looking back at Soonyoung.                                         

“More of your friends?” A voice behind them suddenly asks, causing Mingyu and Soonyoung to jump, while Wonwoo only blinks calmly. They turn around to see Seungcheol with a stack of books in his arms and an easy smile on his face, all bright charming teeth visible.

“Yeah... I think one of their favourite pastimes is bothering me during work,” Wonwoo answers dryly and Seungcheol only gives a deep laugh at that. The three begin to talk and Mingyu feels somehow so removed from the conversation, watching them like an outsider would. 

But then again... isn’t that exactly what he is? An outsider right?

Mingyu tunes out the conversation and simply watches the way Seungcheol laughs with his gummy smile, bright and warm. He talks easily and casually with an animated, overexcited Soonyoung. Wonwoo on the other hand is a bit awkward, and remains quiet for the most part, as per usual— but he doesn’t necessarily seem uncomfortable. 

His mind clicks back to Jihoon, reminding him why they’re there in the first place.

Now Mingyu hasn’t really known Jihoon for a long time, but to an outsider Seungcheol would look like the last person to be his soulmate. Mingyu can already sense the warm and friendly vibes radiating off of him, and he’s definitely more on the loud side. Meanwhile Jihoon is all sharp-tongued, logic driven and a bundle of nerves. Basically in first impressions, they’re two opposite ends of the personality spectrum. 

Yet on the other hand, Mingyu’s vesper radar is giving him totally different signals. When he looks at Seungcheol, he can immediately sense something familiar. It’s as though something clicks in his brain, and he simply knows that this is indeed Jihoon’s soulmate. 

It’s the same feeling Mingyu got after he saw Junhui’s soulmate mark.

No... that was wrong.

He felt it long before that. He simply couldn’t identify the feeling before— it made sense now. He had been so accustomed to Wonwoo, that being around Junhui was so easy. Even enjoyable. It really was because those two were soulmates. 

Wen Junhui.

Him and Wonwoo would fit well together right? They had to. If this so called party was really happening then this was Mingyu’s chance. He’d bring Junhui along, maybe as his plus one. Wonwoo and him could meet, and go from there. Yes, this was the perfect opportunity.

And this time no stupid tears, no confusing and unnecessary feelings, no poor decisions, no—

“Hey, did you hear what I just said?”

Mingyu blinks in a daze. There’s a hand waving in front of his face, and Wonwoo is standing really close to him, brows furrowed in mild annoyance.

“Oh. Um ah, sorry,” Mingyu shakes his head. “Just spaced out.” 

“Yeah, you’ve been doing that a lot lately,” Wonwoo mutters leaning back away.

“Sorry. Just uh, what did you say?”

Wonwoo sighs and shakes his head. “Never mind. I just—” The words get cut off with the swing of Soonyoung’s arm around Wonwoo’s neck.

“Okay mission accomplished,” Soonyoung grins. “Let’s get out of here, grab your stuff Won.”

“Right, my shift is over,” Wonwoo mumbles as he throws on his coat.

They step out of the shop and Mingyu is immediately shivering as an icy gust of wind blows by as they begin to walk. The temperature is as bitter and chilly as ever, though it hasn’t snowed for a couple days.

“So when’s the party again?” he asks as they begin to trudge back home, eventually splitting in opposite directions with Soonyoung so they can head back to their respective apartments.

“This coming Friday,” Wonwoo responds, absentmindedly waving bye to Soonyoung. 

Mingyu slowly nods. “Ah ok, cool. Uhh... is it ok if I invite someone to come with me?” 

A quick side-glance is shot his way. “Invite whoever you want,” Wonwoo eventually says with a casual shrug. “Why would you ask me anyway."

“I mean.... like you’re close with Soonyoung and all,” Mingyu nervously chuckles. “Obviously you’d know if he'll be cool with it, especially since he’s the one who made the plans.”

“Ok, well he could care less about you inviting someone. As long as you don’t invite a whole neighbourhood of strangers I don’t think it’ll matter to him.”

“Alright,” Mingyu gives a curt nod of his head.

“Wait,” Wonwoo abruptly says, and Mingyu jerks to a halt alongside him. “Who do you want to invite?”

There’s a moment of pause between them before Mingyu meets his eyes and speaks slowly. 

“Uhh... you know the guy who I went to that other party with?” 

“Him?” Wonwoo asks incredulously. “Like the one who was supposed to get you the ride home but you called me instead?”

“Yeah,” he replies, voice small and meek. “Is that fine?”

He can see the confusion rapidly panning across Wonwoo’s gaze with a quirk of an eyebrow and the corners of his lips stiffly curving down. Mingyu can understand why. He never explained to Wonwoo what had happened that day. After all, in Wonwoo’s eyes Junhui was supposed to bring him home, but he didn’t. And to make matters worse, Mingyu ended up crying like a little kid by the end of the night. Yeah, of course Wonwoo would assume the worst of Junhui.

It had been obvious that Wonwoo wanted to ask for explanations. Mingyu could see the way he gnawed on his lower lip in contemplation, and the way his eyes shifted from side to side that night, and the morning following. But of course, because Wonwoo was Wonwoo, he kept his lips shut. He could likely read into the fact that Mingyu didn’t want to talk about it. And it was definitely not like him to press people into talking about things they didn’t want to talk about.

This passive nature about Wonwoo could be both a blessing and curse. A blessing because it didn’t burden anyone, or push them into something they didn’t want to do. Especially when said person was just as afraid of confrontation. But at the same time it could be a curse as two people kept skirting around each other, never discussing their problems.

Wonwoo’s eyes remain wavering on Mingyu for a few seconds longer. “Of course it’s fine.”

And then Wonwoo adds, voice quiet, “Why are you asking anyway?” It’s not as if I’m in charge of who you hang out with.”

“Y-yeah... well, I don’t know. You just—” Mingyu looks away, a sigh escaping his lips in frustration. “Never mind.”

There’s a short pause between them before Wonwoo speaks again.

“Is there something you want to tell me Mingyu?” he questions with a raise of his brows.

Yes. god, there’s so much.

“N-no.”

I need to tell you about Junhui. And maybe I also need to tell you that when I so much as look at you, my heart feels like someone is squeezing it painfully, and I don’t even know why. 

Mingyu shakes his head. That's ridiculous, he can't say all that.

“There’s nothing.”

“Oh ok,” Wonwoo drops his gaze to stare at the cold stone pavement below them.

They begin moving again without exchanging another word for the rest of the walk to the apartment.

When they get back to the apartment, Mingyu flops down on his bed as Wonwoo disappears into his bedroom to study as per usual. He opens his phone with a sigh, fingers hovering above the keypad with his previous conversation with Wen Junhui on display.

To: Junhui o(❛ᴗ❛)o

hey, you up for a party? <

this Friday <

The message is marked seen 5 minutes later, and Mingyu finds himself erratically bouncing his legs up and down watching the 3 dots to indicate that Junhui is typing.

He remembers with clarity what happened that night of the party they went to together. 

After Mingyu had a short and stupidly unnecessary cry he’d pulled away from Wonwoo in embarrassment. They didn’t talk about it after. And once Mingyu was a little more sober and in bed (and to add, with a massive headache), he’d pulled out his phone to find numerous missed calls, and even more frantic messages from Junhui asking where he was and if he was ok, and apologizing for getting so stupidly drunk that he couldn’t keep track of Mingyu’s whereabouts. 

Mingyu remembers starkly feeling a suffocating and tight knot of guilt forming in his stomach and his hands clamming with cold sweat as he stared at his messages that night. Junhui was being way too nice. Why would he even apologize when Mingyu was the one at fault for disappearing like that?

Mingyu tried his best to calmly reply to the messages saying sorry, that yes he was safe, and how the guy he lived with had come to pick him up. He hoped it would give Junhui at least some peace of mind after putting him through all this trouble. 

And for what did all that even happen for? It was all because Mingyu was just being a supreme idiot that didn’t know how to handle his emotions— especially ones so foreign that he was experiencing at the moment...

From: Junhui o(❛ᴗ❛)o

> yeah sure, why not  

> I’m not busy that night

To: Junhui o(❛ᴗ❛)o

k I’ll pick you up around 10? <

I don’t think it’s far from where you live <

so like, we can walk from your place <

From: Junhui o(❛ᴗ❛)o

> yeah sounds good

> thanks for the invite Mingyu ^^

To: Junhui o(❛ᴗ❛)o

no problem <

figured I should make it up to you <

after you know, ditching you last time :/ <

besides, you can get to know some of my other friends <

Mingyu pauses for a moment after sending that last text. Could he really call Wonwoo, Soonyoung, and the others he’d met in his time here, his friends? Other than Jihoon (because that was a can of worms he didn't want to think about opening), it certainly felt like they were friends. Like when Seokmin and Seungkwan would ask him if he wanted to come watch the new marvel movie with them, or when Soonyoung would gleefully drag him into one of his antics.  

Then of course there was Wonwoo. He truly did want to consider Wonwoo his friend. But this “thing”— whatever the fuck they had going on— it was a dangerous line he was walking on. It was like a tightrope pulled taut between friendship, and maybe something else he couldn’t identify, or more like didn’t want to identify.

That “something else” enlisted of thinking things such as how pretty or handsome Wonwoo looked, even after a gruelling day of classes, work, then studying— like when he’d collapse tired on the couch and Mingyu could see the way the usual sharpness of his eyes dulled into something more docile as they fluttered shut, his lips relaxing until they looked plump and soft.

And those thoughts only spiralled Mingyu deeper into this black hole of thinking about Wonwoo’s lips, and how they’d feel against his own, properly this time. Not the fleeting, barely there peck that had happened a couple weeks back that they were refusing to acknowledge. And how did Wonwoo taste? Would he taste as sweet as Mingyu imagined. Why was he imagining it in the first place? 

Maybe Mingyu was simply going insane. Yeah that must be it.

That must also be why it was as though a thousand hummingbird wings were flapping against his chest whenever Wonwoo stepped out of the bathroom after showering with a towel around his waist and his shoulders hunched up as though he were self-conscious of Mingyu’s presence. But why would he be self-conscious when he looked as handsome as he did?

No, Wonwoo wasn’t buff or anything, but his broad shoulders and ridiculously tiny waist, alongside his lean smooth muscles and dripping jet black hair made him look well... sexy. 

It was like a mental stab whenever Mingyu looked at him that yes, he was quite sexually attracted to Jeon Wonwoo. He could at least acknowledge that. But that was it. That was all it should be.

And because they lived together, it wasn’t uncommon for Wonwoo to see Mingyu in a similar setting. And when that happened, all Wonwoo would do is glance at him and blush a soft pink before looking away. And maybe, just maybe, Mingyu sometimes had the urge to walk over and kiss Wonwoo’s reddened cheeks.

Of course he would quickly discard the thought and instead opt to smirk in Wonwoo’s direction. A glare would be shot back and any tension successfully dissipated into thin air.

Yet after all these thoughts that most definitely violated codes of friendship he had with Wonwoo, Mingyu was, and would always be an outsider here.

Even if he wants to just be friends with Wonwoo, he can't. He can't be friends with really any of them.

It's the buzz of his phone from Junhui's reply that snaps Mingyu out of his trail of endless gloomy thoughts.

From: Junhui o(❛ᴗ❛)o

> Cool, so I’ll see you then :”)

> byee <3

Mingyu sighs, and then closes his phone.

***

Lee Jihoon was 15 years old when he realized he didn’t want anything to do with the soulmate system. 

He wasn’t even particularly rebellious growing up. He never got into trouble, and followed the rules. He usually respected authority, as long as it felt they were being fair.

But maybe his “screw the system” mentality bred over time from the fact that his parents wouldn’t let him run as the head of music club and instead made him join Model UN. Or how he wasn’t allowed to take the art electives he had so desperately wanted as he reached his final years of highschool. Instead he slept through torturous sluggish hours of Advanced Placement Calculus just to get university credits he didn’t even want. 

The soulmate system, the more and more he read about as his 18^th birthday inched closer, just seemed like another version of his parents. An authority that would dictate his actions on things he should have the freedom and choice over. 

Why couldn’t he choose to be with he wanted? Love whoever he wanted to love? Why did it have to be some stupid mark on his skin that told him what to do. All this talk of destiny, and fate, was such bullshit to his ears. And overtime he had only grown resentful of the system.

So now, as he stands awkwardly with Soonyoung, Wonwoo, and Choi fucking Seungcheol in the midst of this party, he questions where the fiery Jihoon that made his own decisions and vehemently rejected whatever supposed “fate” he was to follow went.

Damn Kwon Soonyoung and his convincing words.

Jihoon hasn’t said a single word to Seungcheol other than 20 minutes ago when first introducing himself. Of course Soonyoung was right there to holler his full name to Seungcheol, just to ensure that he understood.

If Seungcheol was surprised he didn’t show it in the slightest. They shook hands, and Seungcheol looked at him with eyes twinkling and the brightest gummy smile.

Jihoon hated it. He mainly hated that weird unknown feeling in his stomach that stirred when they met eyes.

And that’s probably why he hasn’t been looking at Seungcheol at all for the past 19 minutes.

Soonyoung on the other hand is animatedly talking the guy’s ears off. Not that he looks like he minds. In fact Seungcheol looks pretty happy talking with Soonyoung.

Jihoon can’t help but scoff. Who the hell would willingly talk about nonsense with a half drunk Soonyoung of all the people? Well Seungcheol apparently. 

Minutes tick by, and Jihoon's eyes wander around at the students he doesn't really know, but can vaguely recognize the faces of- Soonyoung's friends from university of course. His eyes eventually circle around the room and end up landing on Seungcheol.

It's his first time really getting a good look at him since they met.

And yes sure, Seungcheol is handsome or something like that. He won't deny it. 

But Jihoon quickly realizes that there's this thing that ticks him off as he's watching the guy. Seungcheol keeps doing this annoying thing where he runs his tongue over his lips from time to time as he talks. It seems to be out of habit, but it bothers Jihoon because his lips are as dry as is, and he's only making it worse.

God he really needs a chapstick. Should I offer him one? Jihoon can't help but think.

All at once, Seungcheol's dark twinkly eyes are no longer looking at Soonyoung but at him. His eyes widen in realization and he nearly gives himself whiplash from directing his gaze the other way.

Of course he’d get caught staring. Way to go Jihoon.

Soonyoung must notice this because he suddenly grabs a mute Wonwoo that had been standing beside them. This whole time Wonwoo had just been drinking while looking a little too tense for someone at a party. He would keep glancing around frequently as though he was expecting someone.

Jihoon had a very clear idea who that someone was. 

“Wonwoo!” Soonyoung yells, even though he’s literally attached to Wonwoo at the moment. Jihoon and Wonwoo wince in unison at his abrasively loud voice. “Hey yooo, look my friends are playing those dumb ‘do or drink’ dare games! Let's join!” Soonyoung starts dragging Wonwoo away who almost looks like a poor whimpering animal being preyed on.

Jihoon half wants to grab Wonwoo back to stay with him— anything to keep him from being alone with Seungcheol. 

But he takes a little too long debating the idea because now Wonwoo is already out of his reach.

At that exact moment Jihoon sees Soonyoung’s eyes light up even more.

“MINGYUU!” he screeches immediately running past him, to Mingyu, who seems to have just entered the place. Mingyu is standing with a guy Jihoon can't recognize, looking like a deer caught in headlights in the doorway. “What took you so long man? Wonwoo and I are gonna go play do or drink or whatever the fuck it’s called. Let’s goo!”

Before Mingyu can even protest, he’s being yanked away by Soonyoung (with Wonwoo in tow of course) towards the other end of the room where Soonyoung’s party friends are around a table readying the game.

“Oh my god, why is he like this,” Jihoon mutters.

Seungcheol only laughs, watching the scene with amusement.

Jihoon glances back at the stunned boy that Mingyu had been previously standing with and gestures towards him since he guesses the two came together. The guy eventually approaches them, though a little hesitantly.

“Hey, don’t mind the blonde idiot— he’s just drunk,” Jihoon says, holding out a hand. “I’m Jihoon, his friend.”

“Ahh,” the boy slowly nods his head, shaking his hand. “Wen Junhui. You guys must be Mingyu’s friends,” he says, addressing both him and Seungcheol who introduces himself as well.

Jihoon purses his lips wanting to clarify that no, Kim Mingyu is not his friend. Nowhere even close— but he doesn’t want to bother explaining a bunch of things that are better left unexplained so he keeps his mouth shut. 

Instead Seungcheol responds with a grin, “I mean, I just recently met him, but sure.”

When Junhui gives him a puzzled look, Seungcheol explains that he’s new here, and Junhui grins, “Well, that makes two of us then.”

The three make small talk for some time, talking about their majors and all that icebreaker-esque stuff and Jihoon is eternally thankful that he’s not alone with Seungcheol at the moment. Even if Junhui is clearly socially awkward, he helps for sure. 

Eventually they turn their attentions more on the game only to see Mingyu taking yet another shot of whatever liquor is in his cup.

“Jeez, that’s like his third one. Why doesn’t he just do the dare,” Junhui questions.

Seungcheol cackles at that. “Oh come on, we all know people don’t play these games to win, but just to get plastered. No fun in doing dumb shit when you’re sober.”

“I guess,” he shrugs.

Jihoon frowns, not liking where this whole thing is going, and he isn’t really sure why. They’re just playing a dumb party game, but the bad feeling remains like an itch under his skin. 

Seungcheol must notice because he gently nudges his shoulder. “You okay?”

Jihoon quickly moves away from the touch. “Just fine,” he says in a rush, voice coming out abnormally high. He curses in his head before turning around.

“Gonna go get a drink,” he says over his shoulders. 

When he re-enters the room a couple minutes later with a drink in his hand, the first thing Jihoon hears is Soonyoung’s obnoxiously loud voice. “Kiss the prettiest person in the room!”

A couple seconds pass before there are hoots and hollers. Jihoon rolls his eyes, not bothering to look over as he makes his way back to where Seungcheol and Junhui are standing.

At that moment, Soonyoung’s voice drunkenly screeches out something else.

This time however, it makes Jihoon wheeze and nearly spit out his drink. He doubles over having a coughing fit as Seungcheol worriedly pats his back. 

“Yeah go Mingyu!” Soonyoung screeches out.

Mingyu. Go... Mingyu?

Jihoon’s palms tighten against his kneecaps.

He whips his head back up and the sight nearly makes his jaw drop open.

A clearly drunk Kim Mingyu, hovering over a confused looking (also drunk) Wonwoo, and then leaning down and kissing him?? Wonwoo of all the people in the goddamn room. And then... Wonwoo’s kissing him back.

“Oh my god I’m gonna kill Soonyoung,” Jihoon groans.

“What?” Seungcheol scrunches up his eyes. “Why? What’s even wrong?”

“Look at them,” he scowls.

“Uh your friends are kissing? Over a stupid drinking game?”

“First let me make this clear,” Jihoon frowns. “Friend. Singular. Wonwoo is my friend. Mingyu is... not even someone I’d consider an acquaintance.” 

“What on earth do you mean, you two clearly—”

“Guys, not to interrupt your little quarrel,” Junhui moves closer to them, lowering his voice to a whisper. “But who’s the guy Mingyu is kissing?”

This cuts off their conversation and they look at each other for another second longer before Seungcheol turns to respond to Junhui. "Uhh that would be Jihoon’s best friend, and my coworker, Jeon Wonwoo. And I think he’s also Mingyu’s roommate? Right?” Seungcheol turns to Jihoon questioningly, waiting for him to answer. 

However, before he can get another word out, Junhui stumbles a few steps back.

“W-wait. What did you say his name was again?” he stammers.

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Chapter Text

It takes Mingyu 5 seconds to register what’s happening, and why Wonwoo’s mouth is moving against his, a little clumsily though still very soft. He can taste a faint hint of barley, and something sweet and fruity, almost like juice.

Mingyu only has half a mind to pull away when he feels Wonwoo’s lips part against his. His heart instantly jumps to his throat and he moves back with a sharp breath. 

The kiss was quite chaste, but even so Wonwoo’s breathing is heavier than usual, his pupils dilated and eyes wide, maybe from the mere surprise of the whole situation.

Mingyu can tell they’re thinking the same thing about now. Did he really just do that?  

Shaken, Mingyu stumbles back to his seat and the game continues in the midst of his daze. He’s not paying attention anymore, eyes trained on his worn out gray socks, fiddling with a thread that’s hanging loose from it, and above all, avoiding Wonwoo’s searing gaze on him. His stare makes the side of his ears and neck burn, and Mingyu simply can’t bring himself to glance up. 

Who knows how many minutes have passed when Mingyu eventually shoots up from his seat to excuse himself. Excuse himself to where though? He has no clue— he just needs to get away. 

The situation at hand really seems to have sobered him up because his head doesn’t feel as cloudy as it actually was a while back, where he should’ve stayed glued to his seat instead of walking over to Wonwoo and well, doing that.

As Mingyu is heading towards where Jihoon and Seungcheol are standing, a familiar looking back disappears through the doorway. There’s a good three second delay from when Mingyu is watching the back of a guy with a well fitted black shirt exiting the room, to the moment he realizes that it’s Junhui.

And then Mingyu is stumbling past Jihoon and Seungcheol, not quite understanding the expression on their faces while simultaneously almost tripping over an empty cup in his haste to catch up to a Junhui that’s already out of sight. He skids out the door into the hallway.

“Junh—” Mingyu’s voice catches in his throat when he feels a tug on his arm. He whips his head around to see Wonwoo standing there with the corner of his lips drooping down into a cute frown slash pout, his fingers clasped around the sleeve of Mingyu’s shirt.

“Where are you going?” he asks, voice barely above a whisper.

Mingyu looks back at the empty hallway. The only sign that Junhui was ever there was the door that hadn’t been shut properly, and was now lightly rocking against the doorframe. 

Mingyu sighs, holding back a strangled cry of frustration, the ends of his lips twisting up in almost a grimace.

Wonwoo blinks up at him, eyes glassy from whatever he drank tonight. “Are you ok?” he asks, voice oddly concerned and tiny in a way that makes Mingyu want to wrap him up in a blanket and take him home. His heart clenches, and he bites his lips before slowly nodding. 

“I’m fine.”

“Then where are you going?” Wonwoo repeats.

After one last look at the empty hallway before them, his voice is tight as he says, “Nowhere now I guess.”

“Oh ok,” Wonwoo mumbles, letting his hand drop from Mingyu’s sleeve. “I— I don’t want you to leave.” 

Mingyu’s lips remain parted, almost as if they were frozen, trying to figure out how to respond. Eventually he lets out a sigh, giving up this whole ordeal. “I won’t leave.”

“Good,” Wonwoo whispers, rubbing over his tired looking eyes with the back of his hand, almost like a small child. “M-my head hurts, can we go upstairs? It’s loud down here,” he mumbles, looking down at the ground with his eyes shut and pressing the side of his temple.

Mingyu glances around to see a couple bodies milling around in the hallway. Majority of the people are concentrated here on the main floor and in the basement. Mingyu’s mind feels loose like any tension that was previously there has been relieved from it, and he knows he’s already past tipsy at this point. He shakes his head a little as if that could knock the alcohol out of his system. “S-sure, we can go up,” he finally stammers.

He looks back one more time towards the exit where the door is slightly creaking.

“Hang on a second,” he offhandedly mutters before going over and clicking the lock in place. The image of Junhui’s back rapidly moving away from him, almost as if he were in a hurry is bright and burning in the back of his mind. He shakes his head trying to clear his thoughts, slipping his hands off the door handle.

Wonwoo's limbs are loose as he’s guided up the stairs, looking a little dazed like he’s not fully awake and alert.

Upstairs there are multiple rooms, and he goes to the closest one that has the door open, hoping that Soonyoung’s friends really don’t mind if they’re here for a little while. 

Wonwoo stands in the middle of the dark room, looking almost a little lost with the only light coming from out in the hallway and from moonlight through the windows. Mingyu glances around the walls trying to find a switch to turn on the lights, when a dim glow flickers behind him, casting shadows around him.

Mingyu turns around to see that Wonwoo had turned on the bedside lamp and was sitting at the edge of the bed, looking at him almost expectantly. “What are you doing?” he asks, voice quiet and deep with a faint hint of raspiness.

“Trying to find the light switches,” Mingyu explains, closing the door behind him.

He must look awkward standing by the door, rocking his feet back and forth because Wonwoo glances at him with a frown. “You can come over here you know?” he says, patting the sheets beside him.

After a stiff clear of his throat and a few seconds of hesitation Mingyu goes to sit down beside him at the edge of the bed. 

He finally works his jaw to formulate the right words and says, “Hey look, Wonwoo... I’m sorry.”

Wonwoo straightens his back now, the glassiness in his eyes gaining an imperceptible hint of clarity. “Sorry for...?”

“During the game and all,” He shakes his head, almost as though enough shaking would rid any recollection or memory he had of the event. “Like for you know...” his voice grows quiet at the last words, “...kissing you.” 

Wonwoo shuffles a little closer to Mingyu. “Why are you sorry about that?” he asks, tight lipped.

“W-well I mean, it was kind of out of nowhere, and really random, and uncalled for.” Mingyu chuckles nervously, hating the sound of his voice and wanting to run away from Wonwoo’s gaze that once again feels like it’s creating an imprint of fire onto him. “If it made you mad or ups—“

The light tug on his shoulders halts his words. All at once, Wonwoo’s face is so close that Mingyu can make out the faint moles dotting his cheeks and admire the way his thick black lashes splay out over his hooded eyes. He feels the fan of Wonwoo’s breath against his face when he speaks with that scratchy yet somehow comforting voice of his. “It didn’t.”

There’s a beat of silence, and then Wonwoo’s spindly fingers are cupping his cheeks.

Mingyu knows what he should do right now. He should move away and book it out of the room. But it’s as though his body is no longer listening to his head. It’s like a repeat of what happened during the game. 

And to make matters worse, he knows he could push Wonwoo away, but the thing is, he doesn’t want to.

Despite all the consequences that may follow, it’s as though Mingyu’s brain goes out the window when Wonwoo is this close to him, their lips barely a breath apart.

Maybe he can also blame it in the alcohol in his bloodstream talking, making him more prone to bad decisions than normal. His loose limbs, lack of rational thinking— he probably shouldn’t have had those drinks, much less participated in that stupid game. Because now all Mingyu can think of is that he wants Wonwoo, and everything else at the moment is trivial. An after thought if you will.

So when Wonwoo leans up, closer to him, Mingyu lets him.

When Wonwoo gently brings their faces closer, the pressure of his fingers against his cheeks increasing by just the slightest fraction, Mingyu lets him.

And when Wonwoo moves their lips together, Mingyu doesn’t pull away, but presses back in equal measure, eyes fluttering shut.

This kiss is much different than their first one, or even their second. It’s deep from the start with Mingyu’s breath catching in his throat when their lips move together. Wonwoo’s weight gently pushes against him and he can feel the backboard of the bed against his back. 

Wonwoo’s hand moves down to hastily clutch the front of his shirt as if to steady himself when Mingyu slides his tongue between his lips. Wonwoo tastes like a mix of barley, and again this hint of sweetness of something like strawberries and fruits— and Mingyu can’t think of anything else at that moment except for the fact that Wonwoo is kind of addicting.

Without any further thought he reels Wonwoo closer, holding him by the waist, and pulls him onto his lap until there’s barely any space between them. Mingyu’s brain is clouded by lust and want as he licks against the roof of Wonwoo’s mouth.

A faint whine escapes Wonwoo’s throat, and all at once he seals his parted lips shut as though he’s embarrassed of making any sound. But that only spurs Mingyu on to pry his lips apart, gently biting and sucking his lower lip.

Wonwoo’s hands immediately move up from his shirt to wrap around behind his neck, fingertips brushing his undercut. 

There’s a heavy pang in Mingyu’s chest when they move apart for air with a tiny gasp, breaths in unison. But before Mingyu can try to place or explain the feeling, Wonwoo pushes their lips together again in an open and bruising kiss. It’s harsher this time and feels almost a little desperate.

When their lips part, Mingyu’s eyes slowly flutter open, heart doing multiple summersaults at the sight of Wonwoo’s hooded eyes, red cheeks and mussed up hair, the tiniest of smiles tracing his lips.

It’s then that Mingyu realizes: the heaviness in his chest is pure longing. That intoxicating feeling of being drawn so magnetically to someone else— as if your body turned helpless and caved in just to get closer to them.

Wonwoo hastily pulls Mingyu against him, lips straying away from his and moving clumsily down his jaw, his neck, leaving tiny bites and kisses with no hesitation.

That’s when Mingyu notices that Wonwoo has shifted. It’s only slight, but now he starkly feels the weight against his hips. Heat pools into his stomach, heavy and almost electric. Their hips are slotted together and... oh wait— he can feel Wonwoo.

Oh.

Oh?

Mingyu’s eyes widen at the delayed realization, a sharp hiss escaping his lips on reflex when Wonwoo pushes down against him. Something Mingyu can attribute to pleasure shoots through the lower half of his body and his breath catches on his lips.

“Wonwoo,” Mingyu chokes out, but he doesn’t seem to hear. Mingyu’s hand shoots up between them, pushing his shoulders back.

Wonwoo startles at the movement, sharply moving away with a dazed and almost confused look in his eyes, chest heaving up and down and skin hot at the touch.

“S... sorry?” Wonwoo says, the word sounding more like a question than a statement. “I didn’t mean to...” he glances down between them, and then hastily climbs off of Mingyu.

“I-it’s fine,” he breathes, unsure of what else to do or say (and desperately ignoring the fact that he’s half hard).

Silence engulfs them, with the only sound being their heavy breathing.

Wonwoo blinks long and hard, his eyes still bright. When the frantic air around them seems to slowly calm down he brings a hand up to Mingyu’s forehead as if to brush away the loose strands of hair that had fallen over his eyes.

Mingyu doesn’t know why he flinches the moment before Wonwoo’s hand touches his forehead. It’s a barely tangible flinch, but Wonwoo notices it all the same, and it's as though his eyes seem to droop at the gesture. His face falls a little, and he immediately pulls his hands away.

There’s a short pause before Wonwoo says, “Y-you don’t like me.” His words resound in the room, thick and raw, and the emotion in his voice is evident.

“No! I do,” Mingyu rushes out. “I... I do like you,” he whispers, voice faltering at the end of the sentence. Like he’s almost, almost there, but not quite, and there are invisible threads wrapped around him, holding him back like a fly caught in a tangle of spider webs. 

He doesn’t know why he’s so desperate to reassure Wonwoo who was probably only saying these things under the influence anyway. Besides, wouldn’t it be better if the boy just thought Mingyu had no semblance of feelings for him? It would make his life easier for sure.

But something about the way Wonwoo’s lower lips are drooping, and the way his usual sharp eyes somehow appear wounded, almost like he’s in pain, sends a pang through Mingyu’s chest.

“But...” Wonwoo pauses, squeezing his eyes shut to hold back a yawn, “it’s not the same kind of like,” he finishes, head drooping with tiredness.

Mingyu wants to shut Wonwoo up with a kiss, tell him he’s wrong, tell him he likes him like he means it... because he does. But he doesn’t do any of that. Instead, silence follows and they just sit there for a couple minutes trying to ignore the tense air around them. Or at least that’s what Mingyu does— Wonwoo after a while of sitting looks like he’s about two seconds away from curling up on the bed and napping the fuck out.

“Hey,” Mingyu eventually says, tilting Wonwoo’s head up so that their eyes meet. His eyes are glazed over with a mixture of tiredness and whatever he drank half and hour ago. And beneath all that, there’s something akin to hurt too, and Mingyu knows it’s his fault.

On instinct, he gently strokes Wonwoo’s cheeks with the pads of his thumbs before letting go. “Lie down here alright?”

“You’re leaving?” Wonwoo questions sleepily when Mingyu gets up.

Mingyu doesn’t answer that, and instead opts to say, “I’m gonna go find Soonyoung.”

Before Wonwoo can ask why or tell him to stay, Mingyu coaxes him to lie down. He protests slightly at first, but then is quick to close his eyes, sleep seemingly washing over him like a heavy blanket.

He sighs and gets up, all the energy and electricity he’d felt only minutes ago vanishing into nothingness, like a burnt out candle leaving a wisp of cold smoke in it’s trail.

He tiptoes out of the room, not wanting to wake Wonwoo up and gently closes the door. 

It’s only after he’s staring at the smooth dark expanse of wood before him that the full weight of his actions and everything that happened tonight comes crashing down, heavy and hard, making it difficult for him to breathe.

It’s as though something in him just snaps— and half of him wants to burst out into tears and cry his heart out, and the other half wants to scream out in frustration.

Why just why did he give into Wonwoo’s advances? Why the fuck did he kiss him back? He shouldn’t have done that. He knew he shouldn’t have, yet everything felt completely right in the heat of the moment. And now there’s only this sick sort of dread and guilt rushing through every fibre of him straight through his veins. He almost wants to pack his bags right now and head back to the agency, tell Jeonghan he failed.

Shit. Jeonghan.

How is Mingyu going to explain things to him? He probably knows everything by now considering how he’s been keeping close tabs on him.

Mingyu’s hands tremble as he clicks the door knob into place. He turns around, and it's like his mind is bursting apart at the seams and he's only seconds away from having a mental breakdown that he doesn’t even bother looking for the light switch to navigate through the dark hallway.

“Is Wonwoo in there?” A sharp voice startles him out of his inner turmoil.

Mingyu snaps his head up and Jihoon is standing a couple metres away from him at the start of the stairway, his face visible with the way moonlight from the closest window hits his figure. 

Despite his appearance as such a cute and approachable human being, something about Jihoon’s mere presence intimidates Mingyu and sets him on edge. And today that feeling is stronger than ever. 

“Uh, um yeah,” he stammers. “H-he was tired and started dozing off so he’s just lying down. I was gonna go find Soonyoung and...”

“Don’t bother,” Jihoon cuts him off with a sigh. “Soonyoung’s way too drunk to look after Wonwoo if that’s what you want.”

“Oh...” Mingyu says, a bit dumbfounded. “Uh also, I don’t know whose room that was so—“

“That's Yuta's room,” Jihoon interrupts once again. “The only guy I know among Soonyoung’s friends since they’re close. The dude’s currently crashed downstairs on the couch.”

“I see,” Mingyu says, voice barely above a whisper as he stares at the ground, not quite wanting to meet Jihoon’s eyes.

“Anyway,” he waves his hands dismissively, “I’m guessing you want me to look after him since you’re leaving right?”

He can only gulp at that straightforward statement. “Y-yes.”

Jihoon moves forward directly into the light streaming through the window, and if this were a horror movie Mingyu would start whimpering because he looks like a ghost the way the light casts shadows over his pale, displeased face.

“Ok, go on. Run away from your responsibilities,” Jihoon says flatly.

Mingyu nearly chokes at that. “E-excuse me?” he sputters. “Responsibilities? What?”

“Are you stupid?”

“Wonwoo isn’t my responsibility,” Mingyu hisses, though his voice comes out much weaker than anticipated.

“Ok, maybe he isn’t,” Jihoon gestures offhandedly. "But I wouldn’t be leaving the guy I like when he’s crashed in some stranger’s bedroom to go dump him onto his friends just so I can get away.”

All of Jihoon’s words sting like flecks of acid being whipped at him. But out of everything he said, all he can focus on is ‘the guy I like’.

And maybe Mingyu just wants to keep the façade up for a little longer. Even if he’s accepted that statement internally, it doesn’t mean everyone needs to know now. 

“I don’t like Wonwoo,” he denies, the words sounding incredibly foolish now that they’re out of his lips. Jihoon looks at him, eyebrows raised like he said the most ridiculous thing, which he kind of did.

“You don’t?” his voice is sharp— painfully sarcastic and cutting where it wounds the most.

“I...” Mingyu falters as Jihoon steps closer towards him. And maybe he finally notices the distraught look in Mingyu’s eyes from his panic earlier, because his features visibly soften. 

“Listen Mingyu,” he finally sighs, voice lacking the usual edge, as if he’s gently letting him down. “I’m not trying to be mean to you ok? But I’m just going to be honest here...” 

“Yeah?” he gulps.

“Just... whatever you’re playing at— stop. “You keep stringing along Wonwoo in... well, whatever it is you two have going on. I don’t want to see him get hurt. Do you? Finish whatever you need to, and move along.”

His voice is firm, and Mingyu instantly knows that he doesn’t mean any harm. Jihoon is sharp and perceptive, more so than Soonyoung. He’s only trying to protect his friend. It’s a perfectly reasonable thing to do.

And the thing is... he’s right. It’s a stinging and painful realization.

Mingyu doesn’t respond to his words, and instead settles to say, “Goodnight.”

Jihoon gives him a curt nod and he knows they understand each other. Their shoulders lightly brush as they move past one another— Mingyu to go down the stairs, and Jihoon to where Wonwoo is resting.

Mingyu transports himself into Wonwoo’s apartment the next day, doing his best to keep quiet in case he’s still sleeping.

It’s 8am on a Saturday and gentle sunlight is filtering through the drawn curtains of the apartment. Mingyu closes his eyes, the memories from yesterday relaying back to him like a movie in his head. 

Yesterday night was quite the ordeal, and Mingyu really didn’t want to be any where near Wonwoo after talking with Jihoon. 

He had wracked his brain wondering where he could stay, and ended up reluctantly knocking on Minghao’s door. The boy hadn’t been too pleased to see Mingyu at that late of an hour, but took him in all the same.

Minghao did question why he wasn’t just going back to his own apartment (that happened to be fucking next door). Of course Mingyu wanted to lie about it, but he really hadn’t thought this through, and he knew if he tried to formulate some story now, Minghao would see straight through it.

Instead he decided to tell the truth. At least some of it. 

“It’s a long story. We were at some party and stuff happened and... Wonwoo and I are just not on the best terms right now.”

Or more like I’m too much of a coward to face him.

“It’s complicated,” Mingyu added after seeing the raise of Minghao’s eyebrows. 

“Ok... Minghao slowly said, and then turned around. “Uh I only have a couch for you though.”

“That’s fine!” Mingyu blurted out. “Great actually.” He probably sounded way too desperate, but at this point he couldn’t find it in himself to care. He was just relieved that Minghao was letting him stay.

They didn’t really talk much after that. The next morning Minghao had somewhere to be so Mingyu reluctantly got up with a mild headache from the night before, and shoved some gross fibre cereal into his mouth for breakfast that Minghao seemed to like eating.

Now he’s back in Wonwoo’s apartment, heading to what he’s been avoiding all this time. 

He pads down the hallway, footfalls gently falling on the laminate floor. Wonwoo’s room isn’t shut fully as always and Mingyu cautiously gives the door a nudge to see him inside, sleeping away. 

Wonwoo’s chest quietly rises and falls, and a blanket is pulled loosely over his figure. Jihoon must’ve made him change into his pyjamas last night and Mingyu can’t stop the fond smile pushing its way onto his face. Something about sharp snappy Jihoon doing all that seems so uncharacteristic of him— but that’s probably where Mingyu’s judgment about the man was wrong.

He sighs and goes back out to the living room, sitting down on the couch. He can’t seem to stop shaking his legs up and down, the anxiousness creeping under his skin as he waits for Wonwoo to get up.

Eventually he gets bored and he starts playing games on his phone, and who knows how long passes because he doesn’t even hear Wonwoo walk in.

“Hey,” a drowsy voice calls out, making him snap his head up from the screen. Wonwoo’s standing there in his pyjamas, eyes tired and shoulders slumped.

“H-hey,” Mingyu stammers, close to wincing at how shaky his voice sounds. Man, he’s so nervous for what he’s about to do. “Did you sleep ok?”

“Uh... I think I did?” Wonwoo shrugs tiredly. “I don’t really know. I definitely have a hangover though.”

“Here sit,” Mingyu pats the seat beside him. “I’ll get you water.”

Wonwoo complies and when Mingyu brings back the glass of water he downs it real quick, letting out a big sigh after. He then immediately turns to Mingyu, a strange look crossing his eyes.

“Jihoon brought me here last night,” he finally says, the air uncomfortably thick as ever around them. “Where did you go?”

Mingyu gulps. He really doesn’t want to have this conversation, and would rather just run out the door. Instead he fights the feeling and forces himself to meet Wonwoo’s gaze. 

“I... I wasn’t really feeling well so he said he’d take you home,” Mingyu says, not quite answering the question and kind of lying. 

And maybe it’s because they’ve spent so much time together, but Wonwoo sees straight through it. “I feel like you’re just avoiding me Mingyu."

Mingyu sighs. “Ok, maybe I am.”

The raise of Wonwoo’s eyebrows is telltale enough that he wants an explanation, and Mingyu’s ready (he’s really not ready) to give it to him.

“I have something important to tell you.” Mingyu finally blurts out.

“Go on...”

“Y-you know why I’m here right?”

Wonwoo's face immediately falls at that. He looks like he isn’t even going to answer Mingyu’s question (not that he really expected him to).

“Here...” Wonwoo finally says, sounding a bit lost. “As in here on earth?"

“Yes.”

“I... I know why you're here Mingyu. What’s your point?” he whispers, voice seemingly harsh on the surface, but Mingyu can catch the slight waver in them.

“I’m done,” Mingyu responds, keeping his tone hushed. “Do you want to meet him?” 

There's a flash of fear in Wonwoo's eyes before it's quickly masked over. “M-meet who?” 

“Your soulmate.”

Wonwoo’s face goes slack, completely turning blank and silence fills into the gaps between them, pushing them further and further apart even though they’re sitting right beside each other, no less than a couple inches apart. 

“What’s his name?” Wonwoo finally asks, when the stillness around them seems to get too much and too suffocating for them to bear.

“Junhui. Wen Junhui,” Mingyu responds weakly. He hates this— he hates every second of it. 

Something like recognition flashes across Wonwoo’s eyes. Mingyu knows he’s mentioned the name before, Junhui being the friend he’s hung out with multiple times. If Wonwoo wants to question him about it though, he doesn’t bother.

“I just wanted to tell you.” 

“T-that’s it?” Wonwoo’s voice wobbles now and there's a myriad of emotions flashing across his face, ranging everywhere from curiosity to hurt. And Mingyu once again knows he’s responsible for the latter.

And maybe he should slow down, let Wonwoo down gently or whatever. But the thing is, he simply can’t. He’s in too deep with this, too many emotions are on the line, and every second of sitting here with Wonwoo is stifling. It’s as though a knife is slowly and painfully prying him apart and soon all that’ll be left of him are the remains. He just wants to get this done. 

“Yes,” Mingyu says with some finality, getting up now. But before he can do that, Wonwoo’s hand shoots out to grip the sleeves of his shirt.

“M-mingyu last night—" he rushes out.

“Stop.” Mingyu‘s voice is harsh, piercing Wonwoo where it might just hurt the most. “Let’s not talk about it ok?”

Wonwoo immediately drops his hand, and the wounded look in his eyes is so evident, so prominent, it makes Mingyu want to immediately take back whatever he said and rush out apologies. 

“You... you don’t want to talk about it?”

“No I don’t.” Mingyu says lifelessly, all while mentally slapping himself.

He wants nothing more right now than take Wonwoo in his arms and press kisses into his lips like he did last night, as if that would solve everything. But of course he doesn’t do any of that and pries himself away from Wonwoo’s grasp.

“B-but you... I—”

“Wonwoo just drop it ok?” he snaps, and Mingyu immediately knows his voice is way too sharp right now from the way Wonwoo flinches at his words. 

He should stop, he should really stop. 

“Are we not... are we not even going to talk about it?” Wonwoo asks, voice raw and ripped open and Mingyu bites down on his tongue, trying to veil whatever expressions on his face need to be hidden. Like the hurt he feels knowing that he was the perpetrator of this. He’s the reason Wonwoo looks like this right now: like Mingyu just punched him.

“What’s there to talk about?” Mingyu responds flatly. “Look,” he sighs, “you were drunk, I was drunk. Don’t take whatever happened to heart. It didn’t mean anything ok?”

“To you,” Wonwoo whispers. “It didn’t mean anything to you.” His lower lip wobbles, and his eyes become glazed over, and for a terrifying second Mingyu thinks he’s going to cry. But then Wonwoo blinks the expression away, and his face becomes a blank slate, almost like someone swept every emotion off of it in a matter of seconds.

Mingyu’s heart pounds loudly in his ears and he can’t bear looking at Wonwoo's eyes anymore so he directs his gaze somewhere between the other's cheek and right ear.

If you could ask Mingyu if there was a single moment where he’s hated every inch of himself, it would be now. He was the reason for Wonwoo almost crying for fucks sake. The boy he wanted to protect and take care of so badly, and Mingyu was doing this to him.

It was ironic wasn't it? The fact that he hated seeing Wonwoo being mistreated by others, be it the past or the present; yet now Mingyu is sure he deserves to be thrown into the list of people who were guilty of just that.

“I guess this conversation is over,” Wonwoo says with some finality, voice back at square one to when Mingyu first met him: lifeless and dull, because he didn’t know if he could trust Mingyu back then.

Well, they’re back where they started. And soon, they’re going to become strangers too— isn’t that how it goes?

Mingyu’s eyes start watering at the realization and he quickly turns away so that Wonwoo doesn’t notice. He miraculously holds himself together and just presses his lips into a thin line to say, “I guess it is.”

A couple seconds pass before he hears Wonwoo get up and leave the room.

***

Jeonghan flicks the sharp outlines of the holographic video shut. He leans forward in his seat with a shaky breath, elbows coming up to rest on the table with his hands clasped together and head hanging.

His day had gotten progressively worse and this final piece was the cherry on top.

He’s never been this overwhelmed in his life... but now, at this exact moment in time, his body wants to cave beneath him. How he wishes he could close his eyes and not worry about opening them again. 

The images of Mingyu and the human he was in charge of keep flashing in his mind. He’d seen them get closer over these past few months. He’d wondered multiple times if he should intervene, but he didn’t. Because he thought Mingyu could handle things, keep his feelings in check. Of course that went beautifully wrong. 

And Jeonghan wants to say it’s partially his fault for having poor judgment, and partially Mingyu’s fault for not following the rules and doing his task properly. But that would be wrong.

The truth is this wasn’t Mingyu’s fault at all.

This was only Jeonghan’s mistake. From the very start when it all began, to the very end. Every single step of the way. There was not an ounce of blame to pass around. It was only ever him.

He’d made so many faults in his lifetime. His most recent one being the fact that he failed to realize until today who Jeon Wonwoo exactly was. 

Stuck in his panic and dread, Jeonghan barely hears the slide of the heavy wooden doors to his office open. He doesn’t even hear the ever so familiar footsteps across the hardwood floors up to his desk.

The only thing that snaps him out of his thoughts that continue to bury him deeper into their misery is his gentle familiar voice.

“Jeonghan?” 

He snaps his head up to see Joshua’s concerned doe-like eyes trained on him, leaning down slightly so that their eyes are leveled. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He whispers, sitting down across from him in a cushioned seat.

Jeonghan shakes his head. Isn’t he too old to be freaking out like this? He should be handling things like an adult.

Imagine if the Agency’s council saw him right now. They always said he was too young to take on such a big task like being the head, but Jeonghan just wanted to prove them wrong. In Joshua’s words, he’d always been “quite the overachiever”.

Yet here he is, acting like some distraught teenager. So maybe the council wasn’t so wrong after all. He sighs heavily at which Joshua frowns.

“I messed everything up Shua,” Jeonghan chokes out.

“What?”

“Mingyu... and his assigned human. They... he...” Jeonghan takes a deep breath. “Either way Mingyu is gonna have to pay the price. One way or another." 

“What are you even saying?” Joshua frowns, the confusion evident on his face. “We talked about Mingyu and Wonwoo a couple weeks ago remember? It shouldn’t be a big deal. Mingyu can’t even...” his voice trails off when he glances at the expression on Jeonghan’s face, eyes widening by a fraction of a centimeter. “Wait. He can?”

Jeonghan silently nods. 

“W-why? That’s not even possible.”

“It is for him.”

“How?”

“Like I said, it’s my fault,” Jeonghan sighs. “It was really long ago... before we even met.” 

“Jeonghan....” Joshua slowly speaks now, voice barely above a whisper and teetering on a thin rope between curiosity and fear. “What did you do?”

Jeonghan gulps.

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Chapter Text

Wonwoo doesn’t consider himself someone emotionally or mentally weak. His childhood did all the work it could to make him suffer enough that it was like nothing could faze him anymore. He’s as tough as diamond, stronger than any steel... or so he thought.

Lately, Mingyu is proving that wrong day by day. It’s as though his mind is turning into jello around the younger man. He’d been carelessly letting down his guard, saying and doing things he would normally never do.

For example, going ahead and admitting his crush, and baring his heart open like that, thinking it would be totally ok because Mingyu was “different” — that Mingyu wouldn’t hurt him.

He was naïve, and of course all it did was get him hurt. He was stupid to think it would be any other way.

A tiny part of him, full of innocence and hope, still wants to believe that Mingyu likes him in a way that Wonwoo wants him to. That his soft stares, caring words, and affectionate touches mean something despite whatever he said about only kissing Wonwoo back because he was drunk.

Of course that sliver of hope only grows dimmer when Mingyu looks at him blankly the next morning, after their small “argument” or whatever the hell that was, and he says absolutely nothing.

Maybe Wonwoo is just being difficult. This is Mingyu’s job after all. Of course he values it over everything else. Maybe Mingyu does return his feelings, but he can’t show it because of the commitments he already has. It’s easy enough to understand... only difficult to accept when all these emotions are involved.

And so they eat breakfast that morning in silence before Mingyu mutters a quick “bye”, and then Wonwoo is left alone; not in the quiet presence of someone else, but in the heavy air of his empty apartment— which somehow proves to be worse.

His face contorts slightly, before he immediately calms himself down and sweeps away any sort of emotion that might be visible.

Sure, no one is in the apartment, and no one is watching him, so it’s not as if he has to put up this show for anyone. But to Wonwoo, letting the hurt show on his face is like he’d lost a battle against himself . He refuses to show that every moment of rejection from Mingyu feels like a slap to his face.

Keeping his mind off of Mingyu proves to be difficult for the rest of the morning, but he does his best considering the fact that he has to get ready and head off for his shift.

When he’s at work everything goes surprisingly smoothly. It’s almost as if Wonwoo expected the world around him to explode or fall apart or something equally fucked up like that, just because he felt like he was losing it on the inside.

It sounds damn stupid and dramatic, but it was simply his reality at the moment.

Mingyu’s harsh words ring through his head every time Wonwoo has even a moment of silence to himself.

“Wonwoo just drop it.”

“Look, you were drunk, I was drunk... It didn’t mean anything ok?”

Even just thinking about it is enough to make him flinch a little.

And Wonwoo hates that. He hates how weak someone else’s words have made him feel. It’s like he can no longer steel himself from such things... especially not when they’re directed from Mingyu of all the people.

Bzz. Bzz.

“Hey.” There’s a gentle nudge against his shoulder and Wonwoo snaps his head up.

Seungcheol is staring at him with a frown on his face. He’s been giving Wonwoo a lot of these frowns throughout the shift so far. Not like a “I’m unhappy with you,” frown, but more of a “I’m worried about you,” kind of frown.

Did Jihoon tell him something? What exactly happened between them at the party? (After all, ironic as it is, it was the reason they had the party in the first place... yet look at where that got Wonwoo).

Bzz. Bzz.

“Wonwoo!” The pressure of Seungcheol’s fingertips against his shoulders tightens and he gives Wonwoo a slight shake. “Your phone.”

“Huh? Oh!” Wonwoo glances down and he sees a couple texts and a missed call from Mingyu.

“I know we’re not supposed to be on our phones on shift...” Seungcheol hesitates for a second before continuing. “But it’s practically empty right now, and he sent you a call too... so it might be important.” Seungcheol purses his lips, and his eyes trained on Wonwoo waver with a hint of caution.

“I, uh... y-yeah you’re right,” Wonwoo chuckles, though the nerves lacing his voice is evident. “I’m just gonna...” he discreetly points towards the storage space area.

“Yeah it’s ok. Go answer.”

Once he’s in the darker secluded hallway of the book storage room, Wonwoo pulls out his phone again and scans over the texts Mingyu sent shortly after the missed call.

From: Kim Mingyu

> Hey Wonwoo...

> Call me back

> Please?

His thumb hovers over the keypad, unsure of what to do. Blood rushes into his head as his palms turn sweaty. It suddenly like he’s being thrown back into high school where panic would worm its way up his throat every time he’d have to unexpectedly talk to, or worse, confront someone.

But that’s exactly it. This isn’t Wonwoo from high school.

This is “new and improved” Wonwoo. The guy with actual friends, better social skills, great control over his emotions, not scared of relationships (or judgement from people for that matter)— and essentially, whatever other bullshit he desperately wishes were true.

He exhales once...

twice...

and then hits dial.

“Hello?” Mingyu picks up, though his voice is distracted.

“Hey...” he bites his lip, inwardly cringing at the slight wobble in his words.

“Wonwoo!” Mingyu exclaims, like he picked up without checking who was calling. “Oh uh... you probably saw my texts right?”

“Yeah...”

There’s a silent pause between them before Wonwoo pulls himself together and musters up the courage to ask, “So um, what did you want to talk about?”

“Oh... I just...”

The hesitation in Mingyu’s voice rings with every syllable, and it’s as though he suddenly has no clue what he wants to say.

“You sent me those texts, and that missed call so it must be something important right?” Wonwoo pushes forward.

He normally isn’t this straightforward, but god , he’s just really tired of them constantly skirting around each other. Isn’t Mingyu tired too?

“I- um.... yeah,” Mingyu audibly sighs. “I just realized it’s bad timing to spring this on you out of nowhere, so like maybe we can talk lat—”

“No!” Wonwoo doesn’t mean to snap but he can’t help it. He clenches his phone tighter before saying, “Can we just talk now?”

“I don’t know... I... Junhui...”

“What about him?” Wonwoo cuts in, his heart bursting in sudden speed within only a span of a second.

“He well... um... wanted to meet you?” Mingyu’s voice grows quieter with each word, becoming meek with little to no presence.

“H-he did?” Wonwoo stammers. Did this mean Junhui already knew who he was? Did Mingyu tell him, and now he wanted to meet? Wonwoo gulps. He isn’t ready for this. But then again, maybe he’ll never be ready.

“Yeah he did... so do you want to?”

Wonwoo sucks in a breath.

‘Mingyu doesn’t want you so what’s wrong with meeting Junhui’ , a snide voice in the back of his head sneers.

“Sure,” he eventually lets out.

“Really?!” Mingyu’s voice is unexpectedly loud, almost like he’s surprised that Wonwoo agreed so easily. Although he can’t pinpoint if it’s the happy kind of surprised, or something closer to alarmed.

‘Probably the first one considering he wants you away from him as much as possible, right?’ the voice speaks again.

“Shut up,” Wonwoo mutters out loud before he can stop himself.

“What?” Mingyu asks.

“Oh um, it’s nothing!” he exclaims.

“Ok...” Mingyu slowly says. “Anyway, so my shift with Junhui will be done a little earlier than yours. How about we come by when you’re done?”

“That’s fine,” Wonwoo responds curtly. Could this conversation just end so he can go and have his much needed hour of panic before they arrive?

“Ok, see you then!” is the last thing Mingyu says before he hangs up.

Wonwoo walks back to the front where Seungcheol is sitting bored and absentmindedly playing with the pens at the counter, and Wonwoo goes to sit beside him with a gulp.

“Hey... you ok?” Seungcheol turns his attention to him, wearing a frown. “You look kind of pale.”

“Yep,” Wonwoo squeaks. He’d rushed out that he wanted to meet Junhui before he could chicken out, but now that he was off the phone it was a whole different story.

Seungcheol’s frown deepens. “Yeah... no. You’re clearly not ok.”

“J-Junhui and Mingyu are gonna come pick me up when my shift is done,” Wonwoo says out of the blue.

“Junhui... Why does that name sound familiar?” Seungcheol mutters under his breath before glancing up and asking more audibly, “Is he a friend?”

“No. Just Mingyu’s friend.”

“Oh I see...”

“I’m meeting him for the first time today,” Wonwoo quietly says, staring at his worn out gray sneakers.

“Really? Well...” There’s a pause and he can feel Seungcheol’s gaze inspecting him. “Is that why you look so out of it? It won’t be that bad. What’s the worst that’ll happen?”

“Mingyu’s going to leave,” Wonwoo blurts out without a second thought. He immediately bites his lips. He shouldn’t be talking about this subject at all as he’d promised to keep Mingyu’s identity and job a secret.

“Huh? He is?” Seungcheol furrows his eyebrows. “Where is he—”

“No never mind,” Wonwoo cuts in and squeezes his eyes shut, wishing nothing more than to curl in on himself. His breathing grows heavier with the passing second and no matter how much he tries to stop, it only gets worse. “Don’t worry about it,” Wonwoo manages to choke out. “It’s nothing.”

“What do you mean nothing? If Mingyu’s really lea—“

“Junhui is someone important,” he interrupts once more, no longer able to control the words tumbling out of his mouth. “That’s... that’s why I’m freaking out.”

That was true.

Junhui is technically someone important. He’s Wonwoo’s soulmate. He’s going to be here soon. Wonwoo’s going to talk to him, and everything... everything will be fine right? But it won’t. It won’t it won’t. Because that’s not really what’s so important, and what’s consuming him day and night. What Wonwoo really can’t bear the thought of is that if Junhui comes... then Mingyu will leave. Maybe Mingyu doesn’t even care. He’ll leave without a single glance back. He’s not going to miss Wonwoo the way Wonwoo will miss him, and he’s definitely not going to be the one left feeling empty and hollow like this and—”

“Wonwoo hey, please look at me,” Seungcheol abruptly cuts off his train of thoughts and there’s a warm but steadying arm around his shoulders.

Wonwoo tries to exhale, but he can’t seem to stop his erratic breathing or the tremor of his hands.

He tilts his head up to glance at Seungcheol who has serious concern written all over his face. The happy twinkles in his eyes have vanished into thin air.

“Wonwoo... let’s calm down ok? Deep breaths, it’ll be ok, you’re ok,” Seungcheol says in a low and comforting tone. He slowly guides him to the chairs at the back of the shop and has the two of them sit down.

Wonwoo tries to listen, breathe in and out, and focus on the soothing circles being drawn on his back.

Seungcheol keeps the circular motions going as he quietly murmurs that it will be fine, that Junhui isn’t someone he needs to be so concerned about meeting, and so on.

And Wonwoo really needs to hand it to the guy. Because despite not having even a sliver of a clue of what’s going on, Wonwoo’s heart gradually slows, and his hands stop shaking.

After a while, when he’s in a calmer state, Seungcheol tentatively asks, “Do you want to talk about it? Tell me what’s up?”

He hesitates for a split second before giving in all together. Maybe talking about it would help rather than bottling it up and letting the pressure build till his mind breaks. That’s what he’d always been told at his therapy sessions. “He’s my soulmate,” Wonwoo sighs.

The air around them stills, and Seungcheol guilelessly sits there in silence as though he’s trying to process the information.

“I... I understand,” he says at last. “I mean, I think I get why you’re so... panicked. But hey, it won’t be that bad. Don’t worry too much,” he reassures.

“T-thank you,” Wonwoo stutters. “Thanks for putting up with me and...”

Seungcheol shakes his head. “Don’t say that Wonwoo... whatever you’re going through, I’ll help you if you let me ok? That’s just what friends do. We’re friends now right?”

“Yeah...” He whispers in response before closing his eyes and exhaling, his stiff body draining itself of tension.

“Anyway, what’s this about Mingyu you were also saying?”

“It’s—” Wonwoo’s voice catches onto invisible threads and he gulps before continuing, “It’s not related to Junhui. It’s just. Mingyu is leaving soon... he uh...” Wonwoo racks his brain for a reasonable explanation for Mingyu’s departure.

“He basically um, decided to move back with his parents because some family issues and all...yeah... He’ll be gone s-soon, to a different city.”

“I see...” Seungcheol murmurs.

“It’s been weighing my head down all these days, and alongside the Junhui thing...” Wonwoo shakes his head. “I guess I really let it get to me huh?”

“No I get it,” Seungcheol says slowly. “You’re going to miss Mingyu...”

Wonwoo knew that was the case. Not the entire case of course, but part of it— yet having it said out loud by someone other than himself feels like a sudden punch in the gut. As though Mingyu leaving, and Wonwoo missing him is suddenly much more real, and tangible. So real, he can taste it at the tip of his tongue.

Maybe Seungcheol sees the resurfacing panic across Wonwoo’s face, because his eyes grow wider by a fraction and he immediately rushes to console him. “Hey no— it’ll be fine ok? You can still text him and phone him. Keep in touch, yeah?”

“Y-yeah, you’re right,“ Wonwoo chokes out, knowing so painfully well that, that that can’t be the case between them.

Seungcheol parts his lips to say something else, but before he can, the all too familiar jingle of the door sounds and the conversation gets cuts short. Even as Seungcheol is walking towards the customers to greet them, his heavy and worried gaze trained on Wonwoo doesn’t subside.

Wonwoo picks himself up somehow, and with all the willpower he can muster, he puts on his coat and hat. He’s never wanted to remain at work longer as badly as today. He waves goodbye to Seungcheol who silently waves back, still busy dealing with the customers, and steps out into the cool winter evening.

Leaning against the display window of the bookstore, he watches people walk by. Some are hurrying to get to their destinations, while others merely stroll along without a care in the world; some are with dates, or with friends, and some are simply alone. It’s like every other generic evening.

But for Wonwoo it’s not.

Because any second now, Mingyu and Junhui will be here... and Wonwoo will meet his soulmate.

He takes a deep breath the moment Mingyu and Junhui round the corner. The two are walking down the street talking and laughing.

“Ok, let’s do this,” he whispers to himself.

Wonwoo calls out to the pair first which gets Mingyu to glance up at him, grinning back with a wave.

“Hey,” Wonwoo casually greets them when they’re close enough, eyes immediately trailing to Junhui who’s staring at the ground a bit shyly. Now that he’s closer, he does look vaguely familiar and Wonwoo can’t quite place why, or from where.

“Hi,” Mingyu says, glancing between Wonwoo and Junhui before awkwardly clearing his throat. “Uh so, you two are finally meeting each other!” Mingyu says enthusiastically, or at least he tries to do that. Instead his voice comes out much like a balloon that deflated over time, lacking any real energy and power.

“Yep,” Wonwoo quietly responds, wanting to fill in the long pause while Junhui looks up at him rather hesitantly.

The moment their eyes meet, Wonwoo’s heart thuds harder than normal. And not in the kind of way your heart skips a beat towards a crush or anything. No— Wonwoo’s heart thuds out of sheer curiosity.

There’s this sudden, unmistakable ebb and flow inside Wonwoo’s chest, telling— no urging him to get closer to Junhui.

Truthfully, he wasn’t expecting this at all. This whole time, he figured that when he saw the guy he’d want to run the other way and basically want nothing to do with him. But well, that was wrong.

Wonwoo wants to know. He’s curious about his so-called soulmate.

But the strangest part is... this isn’t the first time he’d thought this; this push and pull, drawing him towards one person— it’s such a familiar feeling, almost like déjà vu.

“So uh...” Mingyu clears his throat before gesturing between the two, “Junhui this is Wonwoo, Wonwoo this is Junhui,”

Wonwoo forces a smile before holding out his hand for a handshake. “Nice to meet you,” he says.

“Y-yeah,” Junhui stutters and takes his hand.

Wonwoo can’t help but narrow his eyes at the touch. Junhui’s hand is warm, like Mingyu’s... but his hand is thinner and more delicate. It’s softer on the palms, and not at all like the rougher callouses he’s somehow become so accustomed to these past couple months. Junhui’s hand feels so unlike Ming—

“Heyyy earth to Wonwoo.”

Mingyu’s hands waving in front of his eyes snap him back to reality.

He’s still holding onto Junhui’s hand and he instantly lets go, eyes flitting away from Junhui’s blushing face and over to Mingyu’s confused one.

“Sorry,” Wonwoo chuckles nervously, pretending that he totally wasn’t comparing Mingyu and Junhui just two seconds ago. “I spaced out.”

“So I’m guessing that means you didn’t hear what I said?” Mingyu frowns.

“I... uh no, I didn’t,” Wonwoo admits.

He should really be listening to whatever Mingyu is saying. Instead his mind is spinning and there’s this dread rising further and further in his chest. The hesitant slide of Junhui’s hand is still lingering against his own, and oddly enough that little detail seems to be doubling the anxiousness inside him.

“Well....” Mingyu slowly continues, “As I was saying, I have some business to take care of at the bank, so you two can go ahead of me yeah? I’ll see you later tonight at the apartment probably,” Mingyu nods to him.

Wonwoo gulps and nods back, his throat feeling like sandpaper had been scraped against it. He doesn’t want to be left alone with Junhui. He really doesn’t.

Please don’t leave please don’t leave please don’t leave, Wonwoo needlessly begs in his mind even as Mingyu turns to walk away, looking back to only give them a tiny wave.

Great.

Now it’s just him, Junhui, and the winter air that tastes of a nearing spring.

He glances over to see Junhui staring at the ground again, this time fiddling with useless little loops on his winter jacket, much like a kid would.

“Fuck,” Wonwoo curses under his breath. He really hates it when he has to be the one to take the lead in any kind of relationship. It causes his social anxiety to rise out of the fucking ground. But considering how reluctant Junhui seems, does he really have a choice here?

Suppressing the urge to ditch Junhui, and run back to the comfort of his apartment, Wonwoo sucks in a breath and slowly says, “Uh, so do you... just want to um... walk?”

He’s fairly certain he sounds like a total moron but Junhui’s eyes light up at that. “Y-yeah Let’s do that!” he exclaims, voice high-pitched and clearly on edge. At this point Wonwoo can’t tell who’s more nervous.

They walk aimlessly through the streets in total silence for what feels like way too long (even though it’s probably no longer than a minute or so). He should really start a conversation. But what the hell is he supposed to say? He doesn’t know how to do this at all.

He has so little experience trying to get closer to people... or at least people like Junhui. Throughout his whole life, it was always others approaching him first, befriending him first, and so on, rather than the other way around. And if it was ever the other way around, like it was with Jihoon, the friendship took years to cultivate.

Plus, there’s the aggravating fact that Junhui’s face is distracting his thought process on how to start a conversation. Wonwoo can’t help but keep sneaking glances at the guy.

Junhui doesn’t have a hat on unlike him, so every time a breeze blows his warm brown hair up to reveal his forehead, this spark of recognition lights in Wonwoo’s chest.

Why does Junhui look so...

Wonwoo is so lost in these thoughts that he barely registers Junhui’s steps coming to an abrupt halt.

He immediately stops walking and turns back to look at him. “What are you—”

“You don’t want to be here do you?” Junhui blurts out. He meets Wonwoo’s eyes in full force for the first time since their meeting. There’s something like confusion and hurt in his eyes and Wonwoo’s heart clenches at the sight.

Was he responsible for that?

“I...” Wonwoo’s jaw goes slack. He takes in a gulp before trying to respond. “W-why do you think that?”

“It’s written all over your face,” Junhui chuckles, but Wonwoo doesn’t miss the hint of bitterness in his tone.

There’s no response Wonwoo has to that. Is he supposed to lie and tell him that that isn’t the case?  

“Jun—”

“Don’t try to deny it.” Junhui interrupts. His shoulders are hunched up almost defensively and his hands are buried in his pocket. He’s also shivering slightly— maybe because it’s getting late, which means it’s getting colder and his coat clearly isn’t thick enough.

“I... wasn’t trying to.” Wonwoo frowns, averting his gaze from Junhui’s and landing somewhere between his cheeks and ears that had gone pink from the cool air.

They stand there awkwardly for a while, seemingly unsure of what more to say to other.

“Do you want to go inside?” Wonwoo finally musters up the courage to ask. “There’s a Tim’s nearby, and you look kind of cold,”

“A what now?”

“Uh, a Tim Horton’s... you know the coffee shop?”

“Oh right,” Junhui mutters.

“I forgot that you’re an international student for a second,” Wonwoo chuckles.

“I just didn’t get the short form you used,” Junhui frowns. “And to answer your question, ok... let’s go.”

At that, Wonwoo can’t help but crack a smile and gesture Junhui to follow him. They cross the road at the streetlight and walk a couple blocks before reaching the shop.

When they’ve finally escaped the frosty air, they buy two cups of hot chocolate, and are eventually sitting together, breathing in the warm coffee scented air with hot drinks in front of them.

Junhui takes his first sip way too cautiously and Wonwoo can’t help but frown.

Even if he thinks he’ll burn his tongue slightly, it won’t be that bad. He takes like half a sip— no, even less than that. Did he even get a bit of the drink inside his mouth enough to taste it?

“You’re doing it again,” Junhui whispers and sets his drink down, which startles Wonwoo out of his thoughts.

“I um, I what?” Wonwoo stammers.

“You keep staring.” Junhui rolls his eyes. “I get it I’m handsome but calm down.”

This takes Wonwoo by surprise and he snaps his head up. It’s the first moment since they met that Junhui looks remotely comfortable.

Maybe the hot drink melted off his cautious and nervous exterior, because he now even wears a tiny, yet undeniably cheeky smile.

When Wonwoo remains speechless, Junhui shoots him a knowing smile.

“I get it. I look familiar to you don’t I?”

Wonwoo’s brain clicks and he can’t hold back from blurting out, “I knew it! We did meet before didn’t we?”

“Not quite,” Junhui shakes his head. “We did probably see each other though— I know I saw you.”

“Where?”

“The party last week...” Junhui mutters, staring at the foamy drink in his cup. “I saw you and...” his voice trails off.

Wonwoo gulps. The details of what happened that night were blurred together in his head, but now that the topic has been brought up, he remembers now.

Mingyu wasn’t alone when he showed up.

The person he was standing beside when he came to the party must’ve been Junhui.

He lifts the cup to take another sip of the hot chocolate as he recalls more of what happened that night when Mingyu showed up with Junhui, when all at once everything seems to click into place.

Wonwoo’s eyes turn wide and he chokes on his drink.

It takes a good minute of wheezing and his lungs burning, all while Junhui worriedly pats his shoulder, for him to recover. When the discomfort begins to fade, he throws his head back up to look at Junhui.

That night...

When Mingyu showed up, he was dragged away by Soonyoung to play a party game. Consequently, Wonwoo was dragged away as well for the same reason.

One thing let to another, and Mingyu and him...

“Y-you saw, didn’t you?”  

“Saw what?” Junhui calmly asks, though there’s no confusion in his eyes. He definitely knows.

“You saw Mingyu... with me,” Wonwoo frowns.

“Yeah I did,” Junhui shrugs. “What of it?”

Wonwoo’s mind goes blank and any words he wants to say are trapped in his mouth. When the silence persists, Junhui lets out a sigh.

“I was curious of course,” he shrugs. “Cause Mingyu and I are friends. I asked two people at the party who seemed to be your friends, who you were.”

“Who?”

“I didn’t get to ask for their names,” Junhui looks away. “It was this shorter guy with brown hair, and another taller guy with black hair.”

Wonwoo instantly knows that it must’ve been Jihoon and Seungcheol. Wonwoo was with them before Soonyoung yanked him away.

“Yeah anyway... they told me your name and that Mingyu was living with you,” Junhui continues, absentmindedly stirring his drink with a stir stick. “I left right after that.”

This gets Wonwoo’s attention and he looks up to meet Junhui’s eyes. Junhui must know exactly what he’s thinking.

Why? Why did he leave?

Junhui slouches now, resting his elbows up on the table and tightly clasping his hands together. A distinct sense of tiredness washes over him as he hunches his back.

“I feel like I’ve been kind of unfair to you Wonwoo,” he chuckles.

“What?” he asks, confused.

“When I said that you probably don’t want to be here... and I tried to guilt you like that,” Junhui shakes his head, letting out a feeble, defeated laugh. “The truth is... I don’t really want to be here either.”

Another rift of silence follows that.

Eventually Wonwoo breaks the quiet yet tense air and points out, “You’re the one that invited me here though.”

“I know,” Junhui is quick to respond, lips set in a rigid, thin line.

“You want to tell me why you don’t want to be here?” he asks.

“Not really, no,” Junhui answers, glancing up from his drink with a tiny apologetic smile.

“Ok,” Wonwoo slowly replies. He can’t help but sigh.

He barely just met this guy and everything already feels too complicated. Why did things have to be so complicated?

But then again, maybe Wonwoo is just asking for all these complications to bombard his life, because he can’t seem to stop himself when he asks Junhui, “Do you want to go back to my apartment?”

Junhui glances up, clearly caught off guard. He blushes and drops his gaze back down to his drink, as if there was suddenly something interesting inside his cup that he had to look at.

“O-ok,” he finally mutters.

It’s halfway through their walk back to the apartment that Junhui abruptly stops Wonwoo and grabs his arm, taking a sharp turn to the left.

“Woah what the fuck, what are you doing—” Wonwoo’s eyes widen to see that he’s being lead into an alleyway. “Junhui, what the hell are you...”

“Shhh,” Junhui gives his arm a squeeze as if to silence him. He starts doing a 360 around the place, glancing frequently up towards the fire escapes that hang above the alleyway.

Without a sound he inches towards the nearest trash cans and takes a small Ziploc bag out of his pocket, spilling its contents onto the ground.

“Seriously, what the fuck are you doing,” Wonwoo hisses, wanting to get out of this sketchy looking place as soon as possible.

“Shhh just watch,” he tells him. “They should be here any second.”

Before Wonwoo can even ask who , a tiny black cat emerges from behind the trash cans.

Wonwoo watches in fascination as the cat crouches down, sniffing whatever Junhui put out, before it starts nibbling. It must be cat food, Wonwoo surmises.

“Do you always carry cat food with you?” he questions.

“When I’m going out around here yeah,” Junhui shrugs. At that moment another cat, this time a pale gray one, hops down from one of the fire escapes and quietly watches them.

Junhui shuffles closer to it and puts out a bit more cat food. The cat carefully approaches the mound of food before it starts eating as well.

Wonwoo is starkly aware of his own growing fond smile as he watches Junhui’s eyes curve into happy crescents.

“Do you like cats?” he quietly asks.

He turns around from where he’s crouched and smiles, intently nodding his head.

When the black one seems to have had its full Junhui gently strokes its back and Wonwoo carefully approaches him, crouching down to pet the cat as well.

“Yeah me too...” Wonwoo says, smiling at Junhui. The black cat purrs with content as he scratches its chin.

“There’s actually this cat café from across where I work. You’d probably really like it— I know I did,” Wonwoo tells him, thinking back to all the cute cats in there. It was like a cat heaven.

“Really?” Junhui grins. “That sounds so great.”

“Yeah,” Wonwoo nods. “Last time I went there with...” his voice falters, the memory resurfacing in its full form now.

The corners of his lips twist in a frown and he stares at the pavement.

“You went there with who?”

“Nothing. Never mind.” Wonwoo gets up and buries his hands in his coat pockets. “It’s getting a lot colder, let’s go.”

Junhui gets up as well now, and stares at him with a pitying kind of smile.

“Was it with Mingyu?”

He refuses to answer that and simply turns around. They begin to walk to the apartment together and he can feel Junhui’s stare on him.

“It was with him wasn’t it? You tense up every time he’s pretty much brought into conversation,” Junhui remarks.

Wonwoo doesn’t respond to that.

“It’s easy to tell that you two have a complicated relationship,” Junhui says softly. “Do you have feelings for h—”

“Can you just drop it?!” Wonwoo snaps, his steps coming to an abrupt halt.

Junhui flinches, stopping as well. “Sorry,” he whispers staring at his boots instead of meeting Wonwoo’s eyes now.

Wonwoo instantly regrets doing that. “It’s fine. I- I just—” he stutters, trying to make his voice as calm as possible. “...I just don’t want to talk about it.”

“Yeah, I got that. Sorry,” Junhui apologizes again.

“No, I’m the one who should say sorry,” Wonwoo breathes out. “I shouldn’t have yelled like that.”

“It’s fine, I’m bad at reading situations,” Junhui shakes his head. Wonwoo doesn’t miss the droop to his lips before it’s immediately replaced by a placid smile. Which somehow just makes the situation more upsetting.

And it’s at this moment, Wonwoo can feel the onset of sudden tears filling up his eyes. He may or may not just start bawling in the middle of the sidewalk where they’ve stopped.

All this accumulating stress inside of him is really reaching its breaking point. He even took it out on Junhui for god’s sake.

Wonwoo breathes out, blinking rapidly to stop whatever liquid is now trying to escape his eyes.                                                

Junhui frowns as he steps closer to Wonwoo. “Hey are you ok?” he asks worriedly.

This only gets the tears to well up in his eyes faster than he can blink them away, and he spins around away from Junhui.

“I’m such a fucking mess,” he whispers to himself under his breath as he aggressively wipes away the few fat blobs of tears in his eyes, before spinning around to give Junhui the widest, and probably the most forced looking smile he can muster.

“I’m fine!” he squeaks out, his voice full of fake enthusiasm. Junhui’s frown only grows deeper and more concerned at that.

“Are you su—”

“I’m sure!” Wonwoo blurts out, grabbing Junhui’s hand probably way too aggressively before dragging him down the street.

“Ok w-woah, slow down,” Junhui rushes out, nearly tripping over his feet as Wonwoo pulls him along.

Wonwoo complies and slows down to a normal walking pace and glances over at Junhui who’s wincing now. His eyes widen in realization at how he’s clutching onto Junhui’s hand way too tightly and immediately loosens his grip.

“Better?” he asks, with an apologetic smile.

“Y-yes,” Junhui stammers, clearly flustered, maybe because they’re holding hands.

Wonwoo tries to pay no mind to it, and ignores the resurfacing thoughts he had when he first shook Junhui’s hand, and how he thought it was really different from Mingyu’s, and how Wonwoo kind of missed holding onto Mingyu’s hand even though he rarely did that anyway.

Wonwoo doesn’t care right now. He just really wants to desperately hold onto someone, anyone, right now.

“Won—”

“I’m fine,” he blurts out again. He knows from Junhui’s tone that he’s still concerned, but he just doesn’t want to deal with any of it right now. “It’s okay. Everything is okay.”

Though he isn’t quite sure at this point if he’s trying to convince Junhui that, or himself. Probably both.

“Alright alright, I get it. You’re fine .”

“Yeah. Exactly.” Wonwoo nods a matter-of-factly.

Junhui sighs and shakes his head in defeat. “Anyway uh... let’s just change the topic,” he says, pausing to think of something to say. “So um, what did you do over winter break?” is the question he settles on asking.

Wonwoo’s lips immediately drop into a deep frown and Junhui must instantly notice because there’s sudden panic in his eyes. “Um, uh b-bad question?”

There’s a silent beat, and then all at once Wonwoo breaks out into laughter. “Yeah kind of,” he responds between laughs. Something about the irony of how Junhui unknowingly brought up the second worst topic that Wonwoo could possibly think of, followed by the growing panic in his eyes when realizing so, is comical.

Junhui shakes his head and starts laughing too. “I’m the worst.”

“Or I just have too many issues,” Wonwoo grins.

“Both,” Junhui retorts.

When Wonwoo’s stopped laughing and regained composure, he shakes his head. “No ok, it wasn’t all bad. I can tell you the good parts.”

“Oh yeah? What did you do?” Junhui asks, turning slightly to look at him with a smile now gracing his lips.

“Well uh, I went to visit my grandparents. They live in a tiny town, a couple hours away from here. Went sledding, looked at the stars and all that,” Wonwoo shrugs.

“Oh that sounds nice,” Junhui mumbles. “I was planning to visit my parents this break, but I wasn’t able to go back because of some internship interviews.”

Without any precedence, Wonwoo gives Junhui’s hand a light squeeze, which seems to catch him off guard momentarily and his eyes widen by a fraction of a centimeter.

“Will you visit them over summer?” Wonwoo asks casually.

“Yeah,” Junhui nods, quickly schooling a neutral expression once again. “I’ll try.”

“So what about you?” Wonwoo questions. “What did you do over break if you couldn’t visit your parents?”

“Ah, I mainly just worked and binge watched some anime. Like there was this one really great anime movie I liked,” Junhui’s voice seems to grow excited as he speaks about this. “I should show you some time... I mean if you’re into that sort of stuff,” he chuckles sheepishly.

“What stuff? Like anime?” Wonwoo tilts his head.

Junhui nods.

“Yeah I love anime. I grew up with it and still watch a few shows,” Wonwoo tells him.

“Cool yeah, me too!” he grins. “I also went to this really cool art gallery exhibition in downtown over the break.”

Wonwoo perks up at that. “Do you like art?”

“Yeah,” Junhui nods. “I like looking at art, and lately drawing and—”

“You like drawing?” Wonwoo cuts in, unable to stop himself.

“U-um yeah... I mean I’m not that great at it. But I still enjoy it.”

Wonwoo nods absentmindedly, noting to himself to remember that.

“Well,” he says, clearing his throat when they turn into the nearest parking lot area. “Here we are...”

They’re at last under the looming apartment building when Wonwoo finally lets go of Junhui’s hand.

He’s glad it doesn’t feel as awkward between them as it did a while ago. How long had they even spent together? It feels like so long, even though it’s probably only been an hour.

They remain quiet for the remaining time it takes to get into the lobby, up the elevator and into his apartment.

On the way up, he can’t stop himself from contemplating and reopening all his tucked away ideas about his missing memories, and as Mingyu had said, how they may be connected to his soulmate— the person standing right next to him. Maybe, just maybe, Junhui was full of the answers that Wonwoo was searching for all along. The missing piece to his puzzled mind.

“Should I put my coat here?” Junhui’s voice startles him out of his thoughts and Wonwoo rapidly blinks, eyes travelling to the opened closet beside the door.

“Oh! Um yeah, you can put them there, yeah,” he nods.

He turns around, surprised to find the futon upright, and all of Mingyu’s stuff no longer there. A dreadful sensation twists in his stomach, and anxiety claws threateningly at his chest, pressing on his lungs and making it suddenly hard to breathe.

“Are you really ok Wonwoo?” Junhui questions, though his voice is distant and echoes in his ears.

“I... um yeah.” Wonwoo shakes his head, trying to push down the distress rising in his body. He calmly walks over to Mingyu’s closet that had been left opened, and sees that Mingyu cleaned up after himself, and most of his stuff was neatly packed away there.

Wonwoo exhales.

“It just looks a little different than normal. Usually, Mingyu’s stuff would be all over the place,” he explains. “It threw me off guard I guess.”

“I see,” Junhui murmurs, his eyes trailing over Wonwoo’s and remaining there.

“Stop looking at me like that,” he frowns.

“Looking at you like what?” Junhui tilts his head, feigning innocence.

“You know...” Wonwoo’s voice trails off and the frown on his face only deepens the longer he looks at the man in front of him. Junhui’s eyes still say the same thing to him— there’s concern in them, but there’s also pity .

Wonwoo has become kind of pitiful hasn’t he?

“Are you really ok with Mingyu right now? It doesn’t seem like it,” Junhui whispers.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Wonwoo scoffs.

“I know you said you don’t want to talk about it,” Junhui drops his eyes and plays with his fingers. “But every moment Mingyu comes up you change . Your mood just drops. And it’s hard to ignore.”

“Look,” Wonwoo takes in a shaky breath, and works his lips before carefully saying, “I... I know you’re concerned, but you just met me. You don’t know a single thing about me.”

Junhui cracks the tiniest of smiles at that. “I’d like to though.”

Wonwoo falters, taken back by the response. “You don’t understand the situation,” he mutters.

“I think I understand it better than you think,” Junhui shrugs and looks away, his smile gradually growing distant. And something about that is oddly unsettling and Wonwoo can’t help but reach out and lightly nudge his shoulder. Junhui blinks, and half a second later he’s back— no longer with distant eyes.

“What are you doing?” Wonwoo asks, lips curling down.

“Ah sorry.” Junhui shakes his head. “Had this strange déjà vu kind of moment,” he chuckles.

“Ok well... you said you wanted to get to know me better right?” he says slowly.

“Um, yes?”

“Fine, then just...” Wonwoo gestures down the hallway for Junhui to follow him.

He complies and when they enter the room, he lets out a small giggle.

“What?” Wonwoo turns around to face him accusingly.

“Your room reminds me off a child’s,” Junhui snorts.

“What?” Wonwoo pouts out of habit. “It does not!”

“You have all these gaming and anime posters on your wall... and little action figurines lining your window sill,” Junhui points out. “Oh, and not to mention, those glow in the dark stars,” he says, pointing up. “Definitely like a kid’s room.”

“Ok Wen Junhui,” Wonwoo scoffs, “We can’t all be sophisticated adults. Some of us are just nerdy, geeky losers for life ok?”

Junhui doubles over with laughter. “You’re funny.”

“I’ve been told,” he rolls his eyes. “And I like my room a lot, thank you very much.”

Junhui straightens up and softly smiles at that. “Oh no, don’t get me wrong, I do too. This would be my dream room as a kid— still kind of is.”

“Then why didn’t you?” Wonwoo asks him. “I mean, why didn’t you have a room like this.”

“My parents would never let me,” Junhui laughs and shakes his head. “They were allergic to fun.”

“Well,” Wonwoo shrugs. “No one’s stopping you now.”

“I guess,” he murmurs, gravitating towards his desk to look at the Polaroids hanging from the upper shelves of the desk. “Cute.”

“Soonyoung likes taking them,” Wonwoo mutters, suddenly embarrassed for a reason he can’t pinpoint.

“Soonyoung?”

“Yeah, this guy with blonde hair,” Wonwoo points at one of his favourite polaroids, a photo of him with Jihoon and Soonyoung standing by a clear blue lake, holding fishing gear. They’d taken this on a camping trip they went on together at the end of senior year in highschool— one of Wonwoo’s all time favourite trips. Soonyoung had been ecstatic about fishing, and while Wonwoo was excited too, he only went with the condition that they’d release the fish once they caught them. While Wonwoo was no vegetarian or anything, he wasn’t a fan of seafood, and he didn’t have the heart to kill the fish or see the fish be killed by the hands of him and his friends.

“Oh yeah,” Junhui murmurs, still staring at the fishing photo. “I think it was this guy. This is one of the guys that told me your name. Except he didn’t have pink hair.”

“Yeah,” Wonwoo laughed. “That’s Jihoon. He went through some phase in high school, dyed hair and all.”

“I see,” he nods, staring at other Polaroids. “Most of the photos have them in it.”

“Yeah,” Wonwoo shrugs, “They’re my closest my friends.”

“You don’t have any pictures with your family,” Junhui observes like he was just thinking aloud and forgot that Wonwoo was right there, because immediately after he looks over at Wonwoo frantically. “I- I mean, it’s none of my business. I was just... noticing and...”

Wonwoo shrugs. “It’s fine. I don’t have a good relationship with my dad... and my mom passed away when I was little.”

Junhui grows quiet at that, pupils wavering when his eyes meet Wonwoo. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not really a big deal,” he shrugs.   

The corners of Junhui’s lips curve up into a seemingly sad kind of smile— one that could shatter with a single nudge to the ground. “Is it really not though?”

“I barely remember her Junhui,” Wonwoo rolls his eyes. “I was like 6 when she died.”

“My grandma passed away when I was 6,” Junhui says, staring at more Polaroids, now the ones lined along a portion of Wonwoo’s wall that wasn’t masked with posters. “Back then, my parents were always busy with work, so my grandma took care of me most of the time. She was honestly more like my mom than my actual mom.” Junhui pauses for a bit before adding, “I still think about her all the time though. Because I don’t want to forget the tiny snippets of things I do remember about her.”

“Well I’m not like you then,” Wonwoo shakes his head, an unsettling prickle lining his skin.

When was the last time he willingly recalled his mother? The truth was, this topic was one of Wonwoo’s most boxed away. It was shoved back into the deepest parts of his mind where they wouldn’t trouble him.

Wonwoo looks back up to see Junhui staring at him now, and they stand there for a couple seconds looking at one another, no words exchanged.

Wen Junhui was strange. It was strange how Wonwoo was talking about these things with almost a stranger. Because that’s the thing with Junhui— it didn’t feel unnatural or anything of that sort. In fact, it was the topics themselves that made him uneasy, but it wasn’t the fact that he was sharing tiny bits of them with Junhui, and not someone who he knew a little better that made him uneasy.

If anything, it was quite the opposite... Junhui made him feel more comfortable about sharing these things than he should naturally be.

“Hey Junhui...” Wonwoo breathes out, breaking their silence.

“Yeah?”

“Can I show you something?”

Wonwoo holds his breath as Junhui’s fingers run over the smooth brown cover, and he slowly flips the spiral bound book open.

They’re sitting side by side on his bed with Junhui looking at his old sketchbook, and Wonwoo can’t quite believe this is really happening. Maybe this was it. He would find the answer to what he’d been searching for.

“Y-you said you liked drawing right?” Wonwoo manages to choke out. His throat feels so dry, and he can’t rid himself of the tightening around his chest. It must be all the nervousness and anticipation building inside of him as he waits for Junhui to look through the book and say something.

“Yes... But...” Junhui hesitates before looking up from the book with a frown.

Wonwoo’s heart falls. “You don’t recognize it,” he gulps.

“No.” Junhui shakes his head. “I’m sorry Wonwoo.”

It’s as though the gears in Wonwoo’s brain stop working momentarily, and he just sits there forgetting to say anything at all.

“I only started drawing recently. And I’m not really this good...” Junhui continues saying, though the words now sound faraway and distant to him.

Why was he so sure this was it? Wonwoo always thought... he was always so certain that this book had to do with his soulmate. But here his soulmate was beside him, telling him he’d never seen this sketchbook.

As he continues to stare blankly at the sketchbook, Junhui’s words grow undistinguishable and meld together as background noise, and Wonwoo senses it after so long: that feeling that was always inside of him— that void .

This feeling had been sleeping away for much longer than usual that he’d forgotten about it for quite a while now... maybe even a couple months?

Growing up, that empty feeling had always been like this constant ringing in his ears. When he was busy with school, life, and so on, the ringing merely became background noise. So much so that he’d forget it existed at all.

But then there were certain moments: times where he was alone, times spent in the silence, away from the bustle of life, where he’d be reminded that the ringing was always there. It hadn’t gone anywhere.

And it was so loud. The ringing was so loud.

He wondered why it had been absent for these past couple months. But that didn’t matter, because now it was back.

Wonwoo sighs, blinking back up to look at Junhui. “Really, don’t worry about it.”

“You look disappointed,” Junhui frowns.

“Not at you,” he stifles a laugh. “I’m just disappointed at myself I guess, for getting my hopes up.”

“This sketchbook is really important to you huh.”

“I mean, I guess?” Wonwoo shrugs. “I never really thought about it like that. I was just curious I guess... because...” his voice trails off.

Why was he so desperate to find the owner of the sketchbook? It didn’t really affect his daily life.

Junhui patiently waits for him to answer.

“I’m not really sure anymore,” Wonwoo sighs, running a hand through his hair. “I guess you’re right. It just feels important to me... and I don’t even know why.”

“I mean it should be,” Junhui giggles. “Look at how well they drew you.”

Wonwoo glances down at the book to see that it’s flipped open to the page where the artist clearly drew Wonwoo, laying down among tall wisps of grass, eyes closed and a content smile on his lips.

“It’s a younger you,” Junhui smiles shyly, lifting his eyes to train on Wonwoo. “They captured you really well.”

“Really?”

“Mhmm...” Junhui nods and lifts the sketchbook up in front of himself, glancing at the drawing every couple seconds as his eyes trace over Wonwoo’s features.

“Don’t do that,” Wonwoo murmurs.

“Do what?” he tilts his head innocently.

“Staring. I don’t like being looked at.”

“Can’t relate,” Junhui smirks knowingly to which Wonwoo rolls his eyes.

“Anyway,” Wonwoo waves his hands flippantly, “Let’s just put it away now,” he says as he takes the sketchbook and pops it back onto his shelf. “Have you eaten dinner yet? You could stay and eat here if you want,” he immediately offers.

“Um no I haven’t eaten yet,” Junhui shakes his head. “But I told my friend I’d have dinner with him today, so yeah,” he smiles apologetically at Wonwoo before glancing down at his watch and his eyes widen. “It’s already seven?! Ok yeah, I should probably head out now. Sorry.”

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it,” Wonwoo does his best to smile as he walks Junhui over to the door. He doesn’t mind that much— but there’s this undeniable inkling of disappointment in him that Junhui has to go so soon . Wonwoo wants to talk with him longer and he doesn’t even know why.

What the actual hell has gotten into him? The last thing Jeon Wonwoo would normally want to do is to spend more time with a person he just met, let alone spend it without anyone else here to help him along or lead the conversation.

But it’s different with Junhui... it feels different. And despite the initial let down that the guy has no clue about the sketchbook, he genuinely wants to get to know Junhui better.

“Hey um, since I have to leave so soon...” Junhui hesitantly starts to say, “maybe we can have dinner another time?”

“Like a date?” Wonwoo straightforwardly questions.

After all, was there really any purpose in being indirect and vague at this point? They’re supposed to be “soulmates” after all, so they should just be open and straightforward with each other right?

“Oh, um,” Junhui stammers, “I-if you want it to be. I mean...”

“Ok, just give me your number,” Wonwoo says, pulling out his phone from his pocket.

Junhui looks at him dumbfounded, clearly frozen. It takes him a good two seconds to seem to realize that this is a cue to take the device Wonwoo is holding out.

He almost drops the phone as he clumsily types in the digits, and smiles sheepishly when Wonwoo raises his eyebrows at him, unimpressed.

How on earth was there actually a person more awkward than himself out there, was beyond Wonwoo. And how that it happened to be his soulmate? The universe was truly strange.

After the number had been punched in, Wonwoo waves Junhui off and closes the apartment door, releasing a breath he didn’t know that he was holding.

Great.

Now who would distract him from thoughts concerning Mingyu?

***

Did it go well?

How was Junhui?

Do you... like him?

All those questions bombard Mingyu’s head the moment he gets back to Wonwoo’s apartment and sees the other.

He doesn’t ask any of them however, and goes to help Wonwoo in the kitchen, who’s busying himself heating food for the both of them and clearly avoiding eye contact with him.

“They’re leftovers,” Mingyu says, referring to the food that’s being heated. He goes to stand beside Wonwoo at the counter and asks, “do you want me to make something el—”

“No,” Wonwoo immediately cuts in, and it almost startles Mingyu at how sharp his voice is. He quietly but swiftly spins on his heel to face the sink and begins putting back cleaned dishes and containers that had probably been on the drying rack for much too long. “The leftovers will go bad otherwise.”

“Ok um... yeah, you’re probably right.” Mingyu clears his throat awkwardly, standing in the middle of the kitchen, not quite sure of what to do.  

A thick and heavy silence hangs in the air, and Wonwoo hasn’t looked at him once since he walked in.

“Wonwoo,” Mingyu calls out, and it’s obvious that Wonwoo heard him— he’s literally standing two meters away— but it’s also obvious that Wonwoo isn’t going to bother responding.

What did people call this again?

The cold shoulder? The silent treatment?

And maybe Mingyu wholeheartedly deserved it. He probably deserved every second of it— but whether that was true or not, it didn’t make it hurt any less. Call him selfish, or stupid, or crazy, but he’d take anything from Wonwoo but this sort of silence. Silence was so much worse than screams and hits— silence somehow wounded deeper, was more hollowing than any direct action. It was the simple apathy of the gesture. It was as though little by little, Mingyu was inevitably moving backwards in time to the moment he and Wonwoo first met.

Wasn’t that what he wanted though? This is exactly what he’d been convincing himself of, of how the story was supposed to go. But now that the narrative had actually culminated at this point, it terrified him.

He didn’t want Wonwoo to be a stranger to him. He didn’t want Wonwoo to avoid him like this, side step around him like he was... nothing.

“Hey come on,” Mingyu works up the courage to say, stepping closer to Wonwoo. “Don’t be like this.”

“Don’t be like what?” Wonwoo responds this time, and it’s relieving that at least he wasn’t being flat out ignored.

“You know what I mean,” Mingyu frowns. “You literally haven’t looked at me even once since I’ve been back.”

“Yeah? Well I’m busy,” Wonwoo retorts as he stands on his tiptoes and leans over the countertop to try and put a glass bowl onto the highest cupboard.

Mingyu sighs and steps towards Wonwoo who’s still struggling to safely put the bowl back on the shelf, and leans up to try and help him put it back.

Wonwoo stumbles at the gesture, clearly startled and Mingyu takes him by the waist to steady him.

“Careful,” he mutters, before glancing at Wonwoo.

Wonwoo’s bright eyes are barely a couple inches away from his. Before Mingyu can even register their proximity, Wonwoo lets out a surprised noise and recoils so fast, shoving him away.

“Wonwoo no! Wait the—” Mingyu yells out, flailing his arm to grab onto the bowl that they had both been previously holding.

But it’s too late now, the bowl is already falling.

Mingyu’s eyes widen, and in that split second moment before either of them gets seriously injured, he grabs Wonwoo and pushes the both of them to the ground.

The shatter seems deafening in the otherwise small and quiet apartment.

Mingyu squeezes his eyes shut as that clatter of glass against countertop and kitchen floor tiles subsides.

He then slowly lifts his head and body up to go on his fours, and pries his eyes open. Wonwoo is underneath him, eyes blown wide and pupils wavering in their sockets.

“Are you ok?” Mingyu chokes out.

There’s a beat of silence as Wonwoo just stares up at him, still clearly shaken.

“A-am I ok?” Wonwoo eventually stammers out. “Are you crazy Mingyu?” he whispers before scrambling up and taking him by the shoulder.

“Did you get hit, are you hurt?” Wonwoo rushes out, inspecting Mingyu closely, scanning over his arms, legs and brushing the back of his sweater incase there were any glass shards that had landed on it.

“I’m fine,” Mingyu tries to reassure him.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” he chuckles bleakly. “It mainly hit the countertop.”

They sit there on the kitchen floor in silence, surrounded by broken pieces of glass for a while.

Wonwoo seems to have calmed down after a minute or two, and he slowly stands up.

“Don’t get up,” he orders before Mingyu can follow him. “You don’t have slippers on. There’s too much glass around.”

Mingyu does as he’s told as Wonwoo gets the broom and begins sweeping away the debris. Eventually when it’s clear enough that he can get up, Mingyu plants his palms down on the tiles to push himself up.

All at once there’s a sharp prick shooting through his fingers and he winces. Wonwoo immediately crouches down in front of Mingyu.

“Are you okay?” he asks with concern.

“Y-yeah,” Mingyu says, lifting his hand that had been on the floor to see a bright red droplet of blood on his index finger. “I just didn’t see the glass, I’m fine.”

Wonwoo frowns and takes his wrist to help him up. He doesn’t let go when they’re both up however, and leads Mingyu to the living room where he takes out a first aid kit.

Mingyu stays silent as Wonwoo gently takes his hand and removes the shard of glass from his finger.

Although Mingyu’s gaze is fixated on him, Wonwoo doesn’t meet his eyes at all. He works silently, disinfecting and covering the small cut. His dark eyes are calm and unreadable the entire time.

There’s also the fact that Mingyu is so painfully aware of the barely there light brushes of Wonwoo’s fingers against his, almost like he’s afraid of leaving any sort of mark on Mingyu.

Please look up. Please look at me.

Is Mingyu selfish for the way his heart is crying out these things?

Wonwoo starts pulling back his hands after the band-aid is cleanly wrapped around his finger, and as if on instinct Mingyu’s arm shoots out to hold onto his wrist.

The corner of Wonwoo’s lips twitches ever so slightly, maybe out of surprise, but other than that there’s no other reaction.

“Wonwoo,” Mingyu calls out, voice barely above a whisper. Before he can overthink anything, or stop himself, he gently reaches forward and tilts Wonwoo's head up so that their eyes meet, holding his fingers lightly against his chin.

“Can you...” Mingyu hesitates. “...tell me what you’re thinking?”

For a fraction of a second, Wonwoo’s pupils dilate— then they’re instantly back to the same dull light that Mingyu had become used to seeing.

He presses his lips into a thin line, and Mingyu kind of desperately misses when he could easily read Wonwoo’s expressions. What kind of a face is he making right now? He honestly can’t tell.

“I’m sorry,” Wonwoo mumbles. “I was being careless, and the bowl fell. It’s my fault.”

Mingyu’s throat goes dry. This is definitely not what Wonwoo’s thinking right now. 

“It... was just an accident,” Mingyu responds.

“Yeah. I’m still sorry,” Wonwoo echoes, voice growing even quieter.

Without another word he gets up and slips away from Mingyu’s touch before disappearing into his room. All Mingyu can now think of is how his hands are left feeling colder and emptier than usual.

It’s 3am and Mingyu can’t sleep.

He’s just staring at the ceiling, contemplating what the hell he’s going to do.

Wonwoo and Junhui met.

So... now what? Was he supposed to let things move along naturally, or step in and help the two— or was he supposed to leave altogether?

He absolutely hates the thought of the last option, so much so that it surprises him.

Amidst all the soft touches, deep laughter and shy smiles hidden behind oversized sweaters and snarky remarks, Mingyu didn’t realize the sheer gravity of his attachment to Wonwoo.

And it wasn’t just Wonwoo himself. It was everything surrounding him. Unknowingly, along the way Mingyu had picked up all these tiny pieces that built up Wonwoo’s life, from his friends, to his work and family— and somehow these pieces had become a part of his life too.

And now he was struggling to let them go. He didn’t want to let go.

Mingyu gets up from the bed, disgruntled and frustrated with himself. Why couldn’t his thoughts just shut the fuck up?

He sighs and heads towards the kitchen to pour himself a glass of water.

Barely two seconds later there’s a creak of a door behind him and footsteps in the hallway. It’s Wonwoo.

“O-oh, you’re still awake?” Mingyu stutters, and it’s embarrassing how flustered he gets just from looking at Wonwoo and feeling the brush of his elbow beside him as he pours himself a glass of water as well.

“Yeah,” Wonwoo grunts out. There are dark circles hanging under his eyes and his hair sticks up on his head, unruly and disheveled. “I have this essay due tomorrow, and I just can’t seem to write it. I’ve started the same paragraph five times already”

“I don’t know about what topic you’re writing about or anything,” Mingyu slowly begins to say. “But if you’re stuck then you should take a break. Not a long one, just a short one. Help you recharge your braincells.”

“What braincells?” Wonwoo mutters. “It’s braincell. Singular . And I share it with Soonyoung.”

Mingyu snorts at that. “Sounds like something Jihoon would say.”

Wonwoo cracks a smile. “That's because he does say that.”

“I knew it,” Mingyu chuckles. “Anyway, I’m right. Just take a quick break, then go back to writing. Trust me it’ll be better.”

“Ok I guess,” Wonwoo mumbles in response, taking a seat on the couch now.

Mingyu follows and sits down next to him. A palpable silence hangs around them for a while.

“Um, Mingyu?” Wonwoo says at last.

He shoots up now, alert at whatever is about to be said. “Yes?” he asks expectantly.

Wonwoo parts his lips to speak, but then oddly enough, he just seems to freeze . Whatever he wants to say doesn’t come out and after a couple seconds pass, he just shakes his head. “Never mind, it’s uh, nothing.”

Mingyu suppresses a sigh. He misses the time Wonwoo could just talk with him and share whatever he wanted to. At the beginning he was obviously hesitant and reluctant to, but slowly it felt like Mingyu was prying apart those walls around him and getting closer and more comfortable with him.

Yet now... now, here they are back at square one again.

Mingyu hates this.

Maybe that’s why he presses forward, when normally he would’ve accepted whatever Wonwoo wanted, or didn’t want to share with him. “Wonwoo,” he sighs. “You can tell me whatever is on your mind you know?”

He bites his lower lip. “It’s stupid.”

“I don’t care, just shoot. Tell me.”

Wonwoo sighs with resignation before hesitantly handing his phone to Mingyu, who carefully takes it and looks over the opened screen on the phone.

They’re texts from Junhui.

He sucks in a breath and begins reading.

In the texts Junhui is asking Wonwoo if he wants to come to his cousin’s upcoming piano concert.

Junhui tells Wonwoo that he already has two tickets and that they could go to the concert, and then eat dinner nearby.

“S-so... should I go?” Wonwoo uncertainly asks him when Mingyu finishes reading. 

Something tightens around Mingyu’s chest, and it feels a bit like the night he went to that party with Junhui and his friend, and he saw the writing beneath Junhui’s watch.

What the hell was he supposed to say here?

Don’t go on a date with another guy, it’ll hurt my feelings?

Like hell he’d say that. 

“Wh-why would you...” Mingyu lets his words trail off when he catches the wavering, nervous look in Wonwoo’s eyes.

“Why would I ask you?” Wonwoo completes the sentence for him. “Yeah I know. I told you it was stupid didn’t I? Forget I said anything.”

With that he begins to move away, and Mingyu immediately reaches out to stop him, taking his forearm. 

“N-no I just...” Mingyu’s words falter on his tongue. “Look,” he eventually sighs. “If you really want me to give you advice I will.”

Wonwoo remains fixated on him, waiting for him to continue.

“Of course you should go,” Mingyu forces himself to say, curling up his lips in what he hopes is a decent enough smile. “What’s the harm in going?”

“It’s a piano concert,” Wonwoo mumbles. “I don’t know, he said it was pretty formal and people will be dressed up... so it sounds kind of fancy. Plus I searched up his cousin’s name and he’s actually pretty famous so I... I don’t know.”

“You’re worried because it’s fancy?” Mingyu holds back a laugh. “Come on, it doesn’t matter that much, you’ll still have fun.”

“I’m not good at events like this,” Wonwoo sighs, bringing his fingers up to pinch his nose bridge in frustration. “I was hoping for something more laid back and relaxing. I don’t think I even have anything nice enough to wear.”

“If clothes are what you’re worried about, we can go to the store and buy something,” he suggests. “It’ll be fine.”

Wonwoo reluctantly meets his eyes. “I guess...” he finally says. He then turns his attention to his phone and seems to be typing something to Junhui, probably a reply saying that he’ll go.

A hole burns at the pit of Mingyu’s stomach as he watches Wonwoo type away.

He feels kind of sick.

Mingyu never thought people actually had moments where an angel and devil sat on their shoulders during internal conflicts, telling them what to do, like in the cartoons and movies. But here he is, and suddenly there seems to be a devil on his shoulders urging him to take that phone out of Wonwoo’s hands right this instance.

‘Mingyu come on, Wonwoo likes you doesn’t he? ’ the devil leers at him. ‘ He said it himself! Why are you letting him get away?’

‘No Mingyu,’ another voice warns him. This time it’s the angel talking and it uncomfortably resembles Jeonghan in his mind. ‘ Be sensible. Remember your responsibilities.’

‘Forget your responsibilities,’ the devil scowls. ‘ You’ve been working so hard for years now. Don’t you deserve to get what you want for once?’

“Yeah,” Mingyu mutters to himself. “But—”

Wonwoo perks his head up to look at him, eyebrows raised. “What was that?”

“What was what?”

“I thought you said something,” he frowns.

“No... I uh, it’s nothing,” Mingyu shakes his head trying to drown out the devil’s tempting and demanding voice. “A-anyway, you told him you’d go right?”

“Yeah...” comes Wonwoo’s hesitant reply.

Mingyu simply nods.

Wonwoo was going to go on that date— Mingyu would make sure of it.

***

The moment they get there, Wonwoo just wants to go home.

Mingyu has to practically drag him into the store.

They’re in a men’s formal wear store, and everything around him looks like it costs too much.

Wonwoo wanted to go into a cheaper looking store but Mingyu insisted on this one.

Immediately when they enter, Mingyu starts sifting through the blazers and suits.

He begins picking through the items of clothing as Wonwoo sits around and yawns, being pretty close to taking a nap right there on the comfy cushioned seats in the store.

“Hey. What the hell are you doing?” Mingyu suddenly asks, looking down at him with a frown on his face.

“What does it look like?” Wonwoo asks. “Nothing. Duh .”

Mingyu sighs. “I don’t even know what you like. Why don’t you pick out something as well?”

Wonwoo frowns, reluctant to get up, but Mingyu shoots him a look and he drags himself up. He begins looking through the selection of clothing on his own until he finds an outfit that catches his eye.

No less than 15 minutes later Mingyu approaches him again with an armful of clothing and asks, “Ok, so what did you pick out?”

Wonwoo had to admit, he was pretty happy with his choice. It was different from most of the boring outfits in the store.

He proudly holds it out to show, and almost instantly, Mingyu’s smile slips off his face.

He stares at the outfit for a solid 10 seconds in silence.

“...Well?” Wonwoo presses, waiting for the reaction.

“It’s um...” Mingyu licks his lips, something Wonwoo noticed by now was just his habit, especially when he was thinking. “It’s kind of...” he trails off again, and Wonwoo is beginning to get impatient. “Yeah no... I don’t think it’ll suit you.”

“What?” Wonwoo frowns. “I think it’ll look fine, just let me—“

“Wonwoo it’s hideous!” Mingyu blurts out.

Wonwoo lets out a small gasp. “It is not!”

His frown is that much more prominent now and it would be a lie to say he wasn’t offended. His outfit choice was not hideous . It was kind of funky looking yes, but Wonwoo liked it, and it could probably look good if Mingyu just gave it a chance.

“It really is. You literally chose the ugliest blazer in the whole store. It’s plaid and an ugly shade of teal— which wouldn’t actually be as bad— but then you chose a striped purple tie. What the fuck?”

“I think it’s fine...”

“It’s pattern on pattern for god’s sake!” Mingyu exclaims. “It’s ugly!!”

Ok so, Mingyu was probably right. What did Wonwoo know about fashion anyway? But today he just wants to be a bit difficult and do something, anything to annoy Mingyu— get under his skin a little.

Call it incredibly childish, but he just stands there and stubbornly glares at Mingyu (he’s pretty sure there’s a pout on his face too).

Their stare off doesn’t last long because Mingyu eventually gives in with a sigh. “Ok fine, fine. Try on whatever the hell you want. You just need to...” he pauses to take a step forward and dump the pile of clothes in his arm to Wonwoo’s, “...try all this on too.”

All while grumbling, Wonwoo gets a change room and begins trying on his own choice first.

When he steps out of the change room Mingyu looks at him blankly.

“It’s hideous. I knew it,” he says flatly, and Wonwoo can’t help but stick his tongue out and spin back inside the change room with a huff.

The second outfit is a silky black suit and tie that’s patterned with rows of white dots. This one gets a pleased hint of a smile on Mingyu’s face, which only deepens the frown on his own face.

“It’s nice. Next.”

The next outfit Mingyu picked out is a fancy looking black satin blazer with dark bronze buttons and lining along the lapels. Underneath the blazer is a burgundy turtleneck.

When Wonwoo steps out of the fitting room, Mingyu’s face lights up and he immediately gives an approving nod. “I like it. What do you think?”

“It’s uh,” Wonwoo stares at the mirror in front of the door. “...fine.”

The outfit is fine... it’s really nice actually.

“Better than the previous one?”

Wonwoo hums in thought. “Yeah I think so.”

“Ok I thought so too,” Mingyu nods his head. “You look good in colours like maroon. They contrast well with your skin tone and black hair.”

“Ok fashion king Mingyu,” Wonwoo says, rolling his eyes.

This elicits a laugh from Mingyu as he ushers him back into the change room. “Now try the last one.”

Wonwoo does as he’s told, and he can immediately tell that the black suit is much fancier than the previous ones he wore. He frowns when he gets to the bow tie.

How the hell do you even tie a bow tie? He has no clue.

He pokes his head out of the curtain, and is about to open his mouth to ask Mingyu, when his eyes trail off to the side. Standing right outside of the store, where the popcorn booth is, are Seungkwan and Vernon munching on popcorn, talking and laughing.

Without any further thought he yanks Mingyu into the change room.

“Woah! Hey what—”

“Shhh!” Wonwoo silences him and Mingyu stares at him in confusion for a couple seconds.

“Seungkwan and Vernon are out there,” Wonwoo tells him awkwardly. “I don’t want them to see us.”

Mingyu knits his eyebrows together. “Uh... why?”

“Because then they’ll ask why we’re here buying clothes for me. And I just... I just don’t want anyone else to know about Junhui!” Wonwoo sighs. “Not yet.”

“How come?” Mingyu asks.

“Because!” Wonwoo exclaims. “Once they know, Jihoon and Soonyoung will know. And then they’ll want to meet Junhui. And then it won’t be long before they all realize Junhui is my soulmate. And then everyone will know I found my soulmate and I don’t want that!”

Mingyu tilts his head quietly in thought. “What’s wrong with that though?”

“It’s just...” Wonwoo bites his lip, his hands clenching against his suit pants. “It suddenly makes everything all too real and that’s just.... nerve-wracking.”

“So you don’t want it to be real? Your soulmate being Junhui?”

Wonwoo snaps his head up to meet Mingyu’s dark brown eyes, and he’s all too aware of their proximity in this small fitting room that’s definitely not meant for two people.

It’s as though the air around them turned cramped. He wants to immediately shove Mingyu out of the fitting room and change back into his normal clothes as the suit gets seemingly tighter and more uncomfortable with the passing second.

He doesn’t do any of that though. He just sucks in a breath and doesn’t answer Mingyu’s question.

“Can you help me with this,” Wonwoo says instead, holding out the bowtie. “Do you know how to put it on?”

Mingyu sighs. “Yeah.”

He steps forward and starts tying the ribbon around his collar, his fingers working quickly but meticulously. In merely a couple seconds the bowtie is in perfect shape.

Wonwoo is about to step back and look in the mirror but Mingyu quickly reaches out and holds him in place, his hands firm and strong on his shoulders. Wonwoo desperately hopes the other doesn’t notice when he swallows the lump around his throat as Mingyu leans closer to fix his collar and Wonwoo can smell the cologne on him. Wonwoo sucks in a breath and his face gets warm.

He doesn’t want Mingyu to know just how much he affects Wonwoo when he’s standing so much as a foot away from him. It’s honestly embarrassing.

“There,” Mingyu leans back when he’s done and gives him a small smile, though it seems stiff.

Wonwoo doesn’t return the smile and hesitantly turns to stare at the mirror.

He really doesn’t look like himself. It’s almost like he’s trying to be someone he’s not, dressing up like this.

He slowly lifts his head up to glance at Mingyu, only to find him staring at hhim so intently, it's like his eyes are trying to leave an imprint on him.

“I-is it too much?” Wonwoo frowns, tugging at his collar uncomfortably.

“No!” Mingyu responds, almost a little too fast, immediately dropping his eyes to the floor. “It’s perfect... You— you look great. It’s the nicest one.”  

“Oh um, thanks,” Wonwoo mumbles, trying to read Mingyu’s expression, who’s fiddling with the sleeves of his coat and frowning at the ground.

And wait no.

Was that... Mingyu... blushing ?

Wonwoo’s skin immediately heats up underneath the suit. An awkward moment passes by in silence and he can’t really take it anymore so he pokes his head out of the fitting room.

Vernon and Seungkwan are nowhere in sight anymore.

“Ok, y-you can leave now,” Wonwoo stammers out.

He can’t help but exhale in relief the moment Mingyu steps out.

“So which one do you want?” is the first thing Mingyu asks when he’s changed back to his normal clothes and is out of the fitting room.

“Uhhh I liked the last one, and you said it looked best... but it’s too expensive.” Wonwoo shakes his head. “So I’ll just go for the turtle neck one.”

Mingyu simply nods his head, and Wonwoo goes up to pay for the items.

3 days later, and it’s the night of his date.

Mingyu has dragged him into the bathroom and is currently doing his hair.

Frankly, Wonwoo didn’t know he had to do anything with his hair. Why couldn’t he just let it flop down like normal?

This all felt really overkill.

“You’re like a hairstylist,” Wonwoo mutters as Mingyu takes a comb and styles his hair up and continually sprays it.

“Yeah I’ll open up a shop. Let’s call it Mingyu’s Salon,” he says, grinning into the mirror with his cute pointy canine teeth showing.

Wonwoo rolls his eyes, but gives a small smile back nonetheless.  

When his hair finally seems to be done, he starts getting up only to be pushed back down into the chair.

“Hey!”

“We’re not done,” Mingyu huffs before leaning down with a thing that looks like a black pen or brush or whatever. “Ok now close your e—”

“Woah woah woah!” Wonwoo yelps, shoving Mingyu’s hands away when said black pen gets close to his right eye. “What the fuck are you doing?!”

“Putting eyeliner on you, what do you think this is?”

“Eyeliner?” he asks in disbelief. “Yeah no, I’m out.” Wonwoo tries to get up for the second time now, and again gets pushed back into the chair.

“You said I could help you get ready so you don’t look like a human trash bag that went to this date after 10 hours of continuous gaming,” Mingyu says a matter of factly. “So if I say we’re putting on eyeliner, we’re putting on eyeliner!”

“You’re so annoying,” Wonwoo scowls.

“Just close your eyes please.”

Wonwoo reluctantly complies, and tries to keep still as he feels the brush against his lid.

“Hey guys can wear makeup too if that’s what you’re so weirded out by,” he hears Mingyu mumble. 

“I know that guys can wear makeup,” Wonwoo frowns. “I’ve just never done it, so I’m not used to it ok?”

“Well,” Mingyu nudges his shoulder as an indication to open his eyes. “First time for everything,” he says with a pleased smile looking into the mirror at his work. “Now the other eye.”

Wonwoo groans, but closes his eyes again.

He looks really different with eyeliner and he isn’t sure if it’s a good different or bad different. He definitely doesn’t look like usual though.

“Listen," Mingyu huffs out. “I make you food almost every day, so shut your ungrateful ass up and don’t whine.”

Wonwoo can’t help but start laughing at that which has his shoulders shaking.

“Hey don’t move,” Mingyu orders him.

After a moment or two he finally hears the awaited, “Ok you can open your eyes now.”

The person staring back at him in the mirror is truly transformed. But maybe it’s not the bad kind of transformed... he definitely doesn’t look bad per se.

“So we’re done?” he asks.

“Yep. I know you said you weren’t used to makeup, so it’ll only be eyeliner.”

Wonwoo snorts. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” Mingyu grins at him. “Honestly how would you survive without me?”

The smile instantly slips off of Wonwoo’s face, and his stomach drops like it would in a roller coaster.

How would you survive without me, he says.

Well Wonwoo’s going to have to deal with that pretty damn soon isn’t he?

He shoots up from his seat, and catches Mingyu’s smile transforming into worry in the mirror. Before any words can be exchanged, Wonwoo spins on his heel to exit the bathroom.

Mingyu follows and tries to stop him. “Won—“

“I have to change my clothes,” Wonwoo briskly cuts him off.

He closes his bedroom door and sighs, back sagging against the door. He shakes his head to try and clear his thoughts before pushing himself off the door and grabbing the shopping bag with his outfit from his closet.

He’s about to take the clothes out when he’s interrupted by a light knock on the door.

Wonwoo sighs and makes no move to go open it.

“Please open the door,” Mingyu calls out, sounding more deflated than usual.

“Pull yourself together Wonwoo,” he mutters to himself, before opening the door.

Mingyu is standing there with a downcast look in his eyes, and a paper shopping bag in his hands— the same shopping bag that Wonwoo has in his room right now and was about to take the clothes out from.

Wonwoo tilts his head up to look at Mingyu in confusion. “What?”

He holds out the bag for him to take, and his eyes widens when he peers into it.

“Mingyu what the fuck,” he breathes out.

In the bag is the suit that Wonwoo deemed too expensive when they went shopping, so they’d gotten the second choice.

“W-why... h-how...” his voice simply trails off in disbelief. “You shouldn’t have,” he says barely above a whisper, an indescribable kind of melancholy seeping into him the longer he looks at the neatly folded suit in the bag.

“The agency put in more money into my bank account than necessary for some reason,” Mingyu shrugs like it’s no big deal. Which maybe it isn’t for Mingyu, but it is for him.

He doesn’t want it.

Not like this.

“Mingyu look I—”

“Just take it. Please ? It was what you actually wanted when we went to the store. I could tell.”

“B-but it’s too expensive and—”

“I told you it wasn’t a big deal. I had an extra amount of cash that I wasn’t even supposed to have,” Mingyu says, cutting in. “It’s not coming out of my paycheck, so it’s not like I’m overspending for you.”

Wonwoo meets his eyes and there’s so much sincerity in them, it almost knocks the air out of his lungs.

This whole gesture only causes this sick feeling to rise in stomach. It’s like this is Mingyu’s way of saying ‘here’s the last thing I’m going to do for you. Please accept it.’ It’s almost like Mingyu’s way of saying sorry.

And Wonwoo hates every second of it.

But he’s not going to just refuse. Not when Mingyu is standing here, face so earnest it kind of hurts.

“Ok,” he whispers. “Fine.”

Wonwoo takes the bag and closes the door to change.

In a few minutes he has everything on, except for the black ribbon of bowtie. It’s lying on his bed and Wonwoo takes it in his open palms, staring at it.

The swift movement of Mingyu’s fingers against his collar as he was tying it flashes across his mind and he squeezes his eyes shut, clutching the bowtie.

He gulps, reluctantly going out to the living room.

Mingyu is sitting there with his arms propped up against his knees, hands pressed together and head hanging low.

He immediately lifts his eyes up the moment Wonwoo walks over.

“Still can’t tie it,” he says flatly, holding the bow tie out.

Mingyu smiles up at him, though it’s seems strained as he gets up. He takes the ribbon and just like how he did when they were at the store, places it around his collar.

Except this time, his movements don’t feel as swift or exact. There’s a stiffness from the way he moves his fingers, to the way he stands.

The atmosphere around them is heavy and it’s as though they’re both holding their breaths.

Mingyu then proceeds to fix his collar. The moment he’s done and is about to pull back, Wonwoo immediately reaches up and grabs his hand, holding it in place.

Mingyu’s eyes are owlish, blinking wide at him.

Wonwoo exhales, slowly lowering their hands, but not letting go.

“Hey Mingyu?” he whispers, lifting his gaze up so that their eyes meet.

Wonwoo’s mind is running a mile a minute, but the air around them is seemingly frozen.

The truth is. Wonwoo doesn’t want this date to crash and burn. Not really.

Junhui is too sweet for Wonwoo do to that.

Junhui and his awkwardness. Junhui and his alley cats. Junhui and his shyness. Junhui and his innocently blunt self. Everything about him is endearing.

Junhui is too nice for Wonwoo to be in a bad mood, or be unkind, or ignore and push him away during this date.

But. But .

There always seems to be a “but”.

And this one exception is standing in front of him.

And as terrible as this makes him, Wonwoo is willing to do just this one thing that may or may not change the course of this night.

“Yeah?” Mingyu finally responds, voice quiet and rough. He doesn’t break eye contact with Wonwoo like he normally would.

“You said that there’s this legend where vespers can grant wishes for humans right?” Wonwoo says, voice barely above a whisper. “If it was real,” he slowly continues. “And I wished for you to tell me not to go on this date... would you grant it for me?”

A deafening silence seems to bathe the apartment. Mingyu’s eyes widen by just the tiniest fraction and waver in their sockets. His lips part and remain frozen like that, almost like he’s unsure of what to say or do.

He doesn’t pull away though, even when Wonwoo’s hand loosens around his.

Wonwoo isn’t sure how long passes.

Maybe a couple seconds, maybe a couple minutes— but Mingyu makes no move to say anything.

Instead his parted lips press together into a thin line, and the silence gets louder.

“Silly wish right?” Wonwoo finally says, when the quiet drags on for too long. He lets out a bleak chuckle.

He pulls back his hands, the spaces between his fingers now empty of Kim Mingyu.

Taking a step back, he gives Mingyu one last tiny hint of a smile before grabbing his wallet and phone from the coffee table.

Wonwoo turns towards the door and begins to put on his shoes, all while Mingyu doesn’t move from his spot.

Mingyu’s expression remains as blank and neutral as ever, and on normal days it would’ve alarmed him. But not today.

With his laces tied, Wonwoo at last opens the apartment door.  

“Bye Mingyu,” he says without looking over his shoulder.

And with that, he steps out.

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Chapter Text

The pit at the bottom of Wonwoo’s stomach doesn’t go away as he’s exiting his apartment, or as he’s going down the elevator, or as he’s waiting in the lobby for his date to arrive...

Junhui insisted on picking him up at his apartment, and so Wonwoo waits, unable to rid himself of the unease from his exchange with Mingyu just minutes earlier. The way Mingyu’s face hardened, and the thick silence that surrounded them.

Wonwoo gulps heavily, straightening his suit and glancing down at his outfit multiple times. Ok no, he was definitely overdressed. He’d told Mingyu multiple times at the store when they were trying on this suit, and earlier tonight when Mingyu surprised him with it. But Mingyu insisted that it would be great for the occasion and Junhui would definitely be fine with it. To be fair, Mingyu did know Junhui a lot better than him.

Maybe they discussed the date together...

That kind of thought causes the uneasiness in his chest to deepen further. Just the idea of his crush, and his soulmate that he just met, planning for his date is a miserable thought.

But at this point, Wonwoo might as well just enjoy the night right? He would push Mingyu aside in his head for the first time in a couple months. And, he would give Junhui his full attention and be a good date.

He sees a sleek black car pull up, with a familiar looking logo at its bumper center.

Wonwoo doesn’t really know much about cars but this one undoubtedly screams rich. His eyes narrow as a familiar looking face steps out from the driver’s side.

Junhui rests his arm against the car hood and waves at him with a grin on his face.

Wonwoo gulps. “This is your car?” he can’t help but ask in disbelief when he goes out to greet his date.

Junhui grins sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. “Nah actually, it’s my cousin’s. She’s just letting me borrow it.”

“Wow some cousin, trusting you with a car like this,” Wonwoo mumbles, getting into the passenger's seat.

“Hey! I'm a good driver ok,” Junhui laughs in response.

It would be a little ridiculous if Junhui bought a car this expensive when he’s only been here for a month or two, and on top of that only has a yearlong internship here. But then again... Wonwoo was going to a fancy concert with him today, and from the moment they met he had an inkling that Junhui had quite a bit of money.

Perhaps it was shallow for him to make that judgment just from a watch the guy wore when they first hung out together. But out of pure curiosity (and just to see if he was right), when he later searched up the brand name of Junhui’s watch and located the right model, Wonwoo nearly had a coughing fit looking at the price. It was over 25,000 freaking dollars. That was his apartment rent for how many months?

“You look good,” Junhui says, startling him out of his thoughts.

He smiles, and Wonwoo is suddenly starkly aware of Junhui’s eyes on him, and he feels a little like he’s being checked out— or at least observed closely.

“O-oh, um thanks,” he mumbles. “I thought the outfit was kind of overkill and...”

“No no!” Junhui immediately interjects. “It’s perfect! You’re— I mean... the look suits you,” he says quickly, clearing his throat awkwardly before facing the front.

Wonwoo sneaks a glance at him as the car starts up. Junhui is wearing a sleek black blazer with a simple white turtleneck. His hair is styled up and swept to the side, and a small silver hoop hangs from his right earlobe, and woah, is that rose eye shadow Wonwoo was seeing around his eyes? He looks really good. Kind of like a model... or actor.

“You look good too!” he suddenly blurts out, which seems to startle Junhui and Wonwoo flushes, sinking lower into his seat.

He doesn’t understand why the two are suddenly being so awkward with each other right now. Maybe it’s just the awareness that this is a “date” looming over them that’s making them nervous. At least that’s why he’s more uncomfortable right now than when they first hung out.

“Thanks,” Junhui timidly says before he pulls out of the roadside parking spot and they start driving to their destination.

He has some tinkling and happy, yet somewhat nostalgic piano music playing in the background and it calms his unsettling nerves down— about Mingyu, and this date, and just everything...

“Do you always listen to soundtracks in the car?” Wonwoo can’t help but ask.

“Oh um,” Junhui straightens up in his seat, immediately reaching for the buttons on the dashboard. “Do you want me to change it? We can put on the radio.”

Wonwoo stops his hands. “No it’s fine! I was just asking. I like it... sounds kind of familiar.”

Junhui turns to shoot him a tiny smile. “Oh yeah? They’re Ghibli soundtracks. It depends on the mood but I like to listen to them when... you know, I want to wind down or relax or something.”

“Oh ok...”

“Not that I’m not relaxed right now or anything,” Junhui rushes out.

Wonwoo raises his eyebrows to glance at him and the way his shoulders look so stiff and upright, and the obvious tense way he holds the steering wheel.

“You sure about that?” he chuckles, voice still slightly nervous. Junhui sighs and shakes his head.

“Sorry. I just... I haven’t been on a date since like.... a while.”

“Oh? When was your last one?”

“In the summer before I came here,” Junhui's voice is suddenly an octave higher and it makes Wonwoo raise his eyebrows.

“I... I don’t like talking about it.”

“Was it that bad?” Wonwoo can’t help but ask.

“No, it wasn’t actually,” Junhui’s frown deepens, and that same distant, troubled look resurfaces in his eyes again that Wonwoo’s seen once before, back in his apartment. “It’s just that thinking about the person brings up bad thoughts...”

“Do you mind me asking why?” Wonwoo gently asks. He doesn’t want to overstep, but he’s curious.

“No I guess it’s fine. It’s just that... I guess I liked them a lot?” Junhui laughs lightly but Wonwoo can still catch the unmistakable wobble and hurt beneath his tone. “I thought he liked me too. But one day he just left without a single word. Guess it was just a summer fling to him.”

Wonwoo’s heart stutters and stops. Junhui’s words cut deeper into his chest than he expected.

He just left without a single word, he says.

That’s exactly what Wonwoo is scared of. He doesn’t want to give people the power to enter his life, and then simply leave like that. But it might be too late to stop that.

“I’m sorry,” Wonwoo whispers. Silence hangs onto the air between them for a few seconds before Junhui lets out a groan.

“Oh my god, I’m such an idiot,” he frowns. “I’m the one who should say sorry.”

This catches Wonwoo off guard. “W-what?”

“It’s our first date and here I am talking about some other guy.”

“Yeah this seems to be a reoccurring pattern whenever we meet,” Wonwoo chuckles, thinking about their conversation last time concerning Mingyu.

“That’s kind of sad.”

Wonwoo genuinely laughs at that. “Anyway, you don’t need to feel so bad. I don’t mind.”

“Ok now that just hurts.”

Wonwoo looks down at his lap, suddenly flustered by what Junhui is implying. “Oh sorry I...”

“Nah I’m just joking,” he grins.

Wonwoo shoots him a frown as they pull up into the parking lot of the fairly small looking concert hall. He peers out the window, seeing basically a bunch of well-dressed old people heading towards the entrance of the hall.

“I think I’m a bit out of place here,” he loudly whispers.

“Not just you,” Junhui mutters, to which Wonwoo turns to him with a questioning raise of the brows. “My cousin insisted that we should go to his private concert instead of his big one.”

“Huh...”

“It’s a smaller event,” Junhui explains. “Not announced on any major concert venue sites, and only those with connections and super rich people end up here, and they pay big bucks for it.”

“I see...” Wonwoo mumbles, looking down at his suit, no longer feeling like he’s too overdressed now. “But hey, just cause it’s you’re cousin doesn’t mean we’re getting in for free. Jun—”

He’s cut off mid-sentence as Junhui simply steps out of the vehicle, and a couple seconds later he’s standing there, holding open the passenger seat door for Wonwoo with a sheepish smile.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“What do you mean don’t worry about it,” Wonwoo scowls, but steps out of the car nonetheless. “This is probably expensive and—”

“No seriously, don’t worry about it,” Junhui shakes his head. “I had to attend this event either way. I didn’t have a choice, but I just didn’t want to go alone. I’m basically just dragging you along for my own selfish reasons, so please don’t feel like you need to worry about the cost.”

Wonwoo parts his lips and closes them again, unable to find a proper response. At this, Junhui’s serious expression quickly turns soft, and he holds out his hand towards him.

“Come on.”

Wonwoo’s brain stutters and stops for the nth time today as he stares at Junhui’s slender, long fingers and gleaming wristwatch that costs more than his yearly tuition.

It takes a few seconds, but he finally tells his brain to shut the fuck up and simply takes the outstretched hand offered to him.

They head inside and have seats right in the second row.

From there on, the night involves a whole lot of polite clapping and him trying really hard to focus on the music and all. It’s not to say that Wonwoo hates classical music or anything. There are some pieces he thinks are really beautiful. But often, he finds that the classical pieces that really impress, with their level of difficulty, technical skill and all that intense stuff, just don’t sound as pleasing to his ears.

Regardless of him enjoying the music, the pianist does impress Wonwoo. He doesn’t know a whole lot about music other than what he picks up from Jihoon’s rambling about his work from time to time, but still... he can tell talent when he sees it.

Wonwoo makes a mental note to tell Jihoon about this as Junhui leads him out of the hall.

“Hey, don’t you want to go greet your cousin backstage or whatever?” Wonwoo asks when they’re nearly outside.

After a blink and pause, Junhui lifts his shoulder and drops them harshly. “Nah...”

Wonwoo furrows his brow trying to read the emotion on his face but he really can’t tell at the moment. “Do you not have a good relationship with him?” he asks when they’re outside again.

A gust of wind hits them as they make their way to the car.

“I guess you could say that,” Junhui quietly chuckles.

“I mean, I did tell you I didn’t come here because I actually wanted to.”

And normally that might’ve hurt Wonwoo, but he’s just been constantly hurt around a certain someone else the past week or so, so this is absolutely nothing.

“We could’ve had a date where we did something you actually enjoyed then you know?” he says quietly. Junhui blinks and shakes his head.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that... I did enjoy coming here with you and I do actually like piano and classical music— I just....” he bites his lips mid-sentence and trails off.

“You just... don’t like your cousin,” Wonwoo finishes, pretty certain that his guess is right.

“Yeah,” Junhui admits.

“You want to tell me why?” Wonwoo nudges him with a laugh. “What’s your deep secretive backstory huh? You already know mine.”

“Do I though?” Junhui asks, though his tone is playful.

“Yeah you do. My mom died and my dad is a jerk. We’ve been over this.”

“You didn’t say your dad is a jerk,” Junhui hums. “You just said you’re not on best terms with him.”

“It’s implied,” Wonwoo rolls his eyes. “Come on, get on the same page with me please.”

Junhui chuckles quietly at that as they step outside into the night. Rather than heading to his car, he leans against the building and crosses his arms like he’s entertaining the thought of telling him or not.

“What’s that page again?”

“Stop changing the topic,” Wonwoo waves his hands impatiently, holding back a smile.

He likes this easygoing, simple kind of atmosphere around Junhui. Sure they were awkward at the start of the night, but it’s melted into absolute nothingness. Now if only Junhui could melt away all the thoughts that are troubling him lately too.

“Ah honestly, it’s just a dumb, generic story,” Junhui finally shrugs. “I was always compared to him by my parents. We used to be so close. Since I’m an only child, I saw him as my real  brother. But then he started looking down on me on top of my whole family.”

“Wow that sucks,” Wonwoo frowns.

“Yeah,” Junhui agrees. “We were both kind of considered pianist prodigies as children... But I’d always lose to him in the big competitions because I’d snap under the pressure. I guess that’s where he started acting like he was so much better than me.”

“Wow.... do you still play?”

“No. I quit in highschool,” Junhui shrugs like it doesn’t matter, but there seems to be a droop to his shoulders as he speaks. “I sometimes play, only for myself but that’s it.”

“I see,” Wonwoo mumbles. “I’d like to hear you play.”

That elicits a quiet but nervous laugh from Junhui. “Thanks. It’ll probably never happen but yeah... I kind of don’t have the confidence to play in front of anyone ever again.”

Wonwoo glances up and this time the sadness on Junhui's face is unmistakable and jesus ... Wonwoo wasn’t trying to open up all these scars in the middle of their date. He rarely tries to pry, in fact he doesn’t like it, but something about Junhui... makes Wonwoo just want to know him better.

“Whenever people watch me, it makes me think of my parents watching me play and I hate it,” Junhui explains.

“You didn’t like your parents watching you play?”

“I did at one point in time probably...” Junhui’s frown transforms into a grimace as he speaks, almost like his own words pain him. “But they’d constantly tear me down when I messed up even the slightest. They always made me feel worthless in front of my cousin, even when I succeeded, because my successes and wins weren’t enough compared to him. Maybe that was their way to push me to be better, practice harder... but I—” he pauses and sighs. “Sometimes I just wanted to be told I worked hard you know? That I did well.”

Wonwoo parts his lips to say something comforting, but Junhui’s self-deprecating laugh cuts through his thoughts.

“Looking back on it now...” he shakes his head bitterly. “Maybe I was just spoiled to think that.”

Wonwoo’s frown deepens. Anger, or maybe frustration that he didn’t even know existed, suddenly bubbles up his chest.

“No, you definitely weren’t,” he says harshly, unable to hold back his words. “Even adults want praise and pats on the back when they accomplish something, or try their best. You were just a kid. How can they tear down your confidence like that when you were so small?”

Junhui blinks in surprise at him, probably not expecting that at all. “I- I guess you’re right...” he finally stammers.

Wonwoo exhales trying to get his emotions in check again. 

“Yeah,” he mumbles a little embarrassed now. “Sorry for getting all intense about it...”

“No, it’s fine,” comes the gentle response.

“It’s just that, I guess I can understand you,” Wonwoo breathes out. “I’ve always wanted to hear those words too... that I did well.”

A quiet, yet thoughtful pause settles between them before Junhui chuckles weakly. “Was your dad crazy and overbearing like my parents?”

“No, the exact opposite actually,” he shrugs. “He just didn’t give a shit about me. He still doesn’t.”

“Wow. That is one jerk.”

“I told you so.”

There’s a beat of silence where they glance at one another, and then they're letting out muffled laughter and giggles. Something about their exchange of sad parental issues seems to call for it.

Suddenly Junhui’s stomach growls quite loudly in the midst of all that, which only makes Wonwoo laugh harder.

“We should probably go eat now instead of standing here in the cold giving each other life anecdotes,” he muses.

“Agreed!” Junhui enthusiastically responds, already steering Wonwoo over to his car.

When they arrive at the restaurant, Wonwoo has to pause and stare suspiciously at the building. It looks really fancy.

“Hey,” Junhui says nudging his shoulders, “I thought since we’re dressed like this we can’t go to any old place you know?”

“Uhhh ok. But like, I hope you realize that I’m a broke college student so—”

Junhui quickly shushes him, stepping out of the car and Wonwoo can only sigh as he unbuckles his seatbelt. He’s already been feeling guilty about the piano concert and now this... or ok, maybe it’s just that the restaurant looks fancy but the prices won’t be insane. They’ll definitely be high, but Wonwoo can spend more than usual for one night.

They enter and Wonwoo’s automatic instinct is to just run. Of course he doesn’t do that, but he definitely contemplates the idea. Yeah no way is he going to be able to afford this, and scanning the prices on the menu when they’re seated are enough to make him want to gouge his eyes out.

“Please stop looking like you’re suffocating,” Junhui sighs.

“I can’t. I really am,” Wonwoo hisses. “You know I can’t pay for this.”

“And I told you it’s fine. I’ll take care of it”

“Junhui, I hate owing people, and people paying for my stuff, and just people doing things for me in general.”

“Look if you really feel like you owe me,” he shrugs. “Just pay the next date ok? It’s not a big deal.”

“Wow, so quick to assume that there’ll be a next date,” Wonwoo shoots back.

Junhui’s confidence automatically deflates at that and he pouts down at the menu, looking a bit like a kicked kitten.

Wonwoo sighs, not expecting him to take it to heart so fast. “I didn’t mean that.”

“O-oh,” he stammers. “I knew that.”

“Yeah sure,” Wonwoo snickers.

“A-anyway,” Junhui shrugs him off with an emphasized movement of his hand, “I really didn’t mean to make you feel bad,” he says sheepishly, some blush creeping across his cheeks. “I just thought it would be awkward going to some other place with our outfits. And I’ve been here before, and know the owner so I was just comfortable picking here.... I’m sorry for not thinking about what would make you most comfortable,” he finishes, blinking innocently at Wonwoo.

And honestly it’s laughable how fast Wonwoo’s whole being decides in less than half a fucking second after Junhui’s words, that he’s suddenly not even annoyed and all is forgiven.

“It’s ok,” he sighs. “I’m not mad at you if you think I am. I was just a little annoyed before, but it’s fine.”

“Oh ok,” Junhui smiles at him brightly.

The rest of the night goes without disturbance and the food is really good. They spend the first half not talking much, but just eating as they are pretty hungry. Eventually as they grow more full and relaxed, their breaks of conversation get longer.

Junhui tells him more about his family back home. His parents and him had a shaky relationship growing up, and it only worsened when he said he didn’t want to take over their giant business in China. He’d been working for his family ever since he legally could. His parents didn’t approve of his education major but they were convinced he’d change his mind as he continued working for them even through university.

But his internship was really a nail to the coffin. He stopped working for them altogether, and moved here. Rather than disowning him like he thought they would, they had somehow given up and grown to accept his departure. Although he wasn’t the closest with his parents, and although they left a lot of bitter feelings in his childhood, at this point it was as though they reached some sort of mutual understanding and they were letting him live his own life.

“So you’re on good terms now?” Wonwoo asks when Junhui pauses to take another bite of the grilled salmon.

“Yeah, more or less,” Junhui shrugs. “I wanted to go back and discuss some things with them during winter break. Although I wasn’t able to, I’d say things are better now. They even said they would cover some of my expenses.”

“That’s good,” Wonwoo smiles. “I still don’t get why you had to go see your cousin’s piano concert though.”

“You don’t know how fast news travels within my family and all their friends Wonwoo,” Junhui laughs weakly. “They’re like pesky fruit flies waiting for something to talk about. If I didn’t attend, after being personally,” Junhui rolls his eyes, “invited... man the nasty stuff they’d say about me.”

“Do you care that much?”

“Honestly? No,” he shakes his head. “But I’m trying to patch things up with my parents, so I need to try harder and maintain a good front with the rest of my relatives you know?”

“I see,” Wonwoo nods a matter of factly. “But your other cousin did let you borrow her car.”

Laughter easily rolls off Junhui’s lips. “Yeah, she’s the only one out of my cousins that I actually like. In fact... I actually chose to come here for my internship because I knew she lived close by.”

Wonwoo hums in understanding. It did make sense. This was a new country for Junhui, and he probably wanted someone he knew so they could guide him a little if he needed it.

They ease back into silence after that, to finish up their plates. At one point Junhui does ask about his family, but he must sense Wonwoo’s reluctance to talk so he quickly backs off.

Wonwoo is thankful for that because he really doesn’t want to recall his childhood or have a nice little chat about his father being in jail. He’s already done that more in the last couple months than his whole highschool career combined.

When it’s time to pay, Wonwoo still shoots Junhui a glare as he takes out his card for the stupidly massive bill, and Junhui just smiles back apologetically, but not looking like he’s regretting much.

“Don’t worry about it,” he says, voice relaxed and limbs loose as they make their way back to the car.

“Yeah whatever,” Wonwoo grunts, but he’s not being that serious.

Eventually they’re driving back to Wonwoo’s apartment.

“That’s where I live,” Junhui points out around halfway to their destination.

Wonwoo leans closer to the window, peering out to catch a glimpse of a tall pair of apartment buildings that stand starkly against the dark night sky.

“Looks just like a normal apartment,” he remarks.

“Well... yeah, no duh,” Junhui laughs. “Where else would I live.”

“I dunno, I was really expecting you to live in an Icon building or something fancy like that,” Wonwoo shrugs. Icon was one of the biggest real estate companies in the area, owning dozens of the most expensive flats both in and out of the city. Wonwoo was pretty sure the rent to an Icon apartment was nearly three or four times his own.

“Ok, I think this date gave you the wrong idea,” Junhui chuckles, somewhat awkwardly. “I really don’t spend that much you know? The only reason I have money right now is from working for my parents the past couple years. I need to save and stand on my own feet, you get what I’m saying?”

A hint of a smile appears on his face at that. Ok, so perhaps Junhui wasn’t as much of a rich kid that indulged in expensive things as Wonwoo thought he initially did.

At last Junhui pulls up to the parking lot of his apartment and turns off the engine before they both step out of the vehicle.

“Well here we are,” he says brightly, turning to Wonwoo with a smile that he can see dimly from the street lamps.

Wonwoo returns the smile, a strange sense of dread already creeping into him as they stand by Junhui’s car in front of the looming apartment.

When he doesn’t say anything for a bit, Junhui breaks the silence. “Um, did you have fun? It wasn’t too boring was it?” he chuckles, scratching the back of his head sheepishly.

“N-no of course not! I...” Wonwoo stammers out, “I had fun. Thank you Junhui.”

Junhui nods in response. “I didn’t want to mess the date up,” he softly says.

“You didn’t,” Wonwoo says, voice a bit hoarse and cracking slightly. His throat suddenly feels so rough and he isn’t sure why.

They stand in silence for a few seconds simply looking at each other, as if they aren’t quite sure what to do.

Wonwoo parts his lips because he figures he should say bye now, when all at once Junhui steps closer into his personal bubble.

“I’m glad,” he quietly says before leaning in, his eyes carefully trained on Wonwoo like he’s watching, waiting to see if he’ll move away or say something to make him stop.

Wonwoo only gulps and doesn’t move, starkly aware of how dry his throat is.

And then all at once, there’s a gentle warm pressure of Junhui’s lips against his cheeks. Everything that happened tonight flashes together in his mind: the concert, the dinner, Junhui’s downtrodden eyes when talking about playing piano as a child, Junhui’s quiet giggles as he brushed off the rice that had unknowingly stuck to his chin, just... all of it, jumbling together in a bit of a whirlwind.

Wonwoo blinks as the warmth against his cheek disappears a second later as Junhui leans back, a shy smile on his face. And then Wonwoo waits— he waits for his heart to speed up and tell him something, anything— waits for it to skip a beat as he stares back into Junhui’s large and clear almond eyes.

But it never comes.

Nothing happens.

Wonwoo exhales, letting out a breath he’d been holding. He does his best to put on a smile that doesn’t look guilty, like how he suddenly feels.

“See you later Junhui.”

“See you.”

The moment Junhui’s car drives off, Wonwoo lets the smile slip off his face and he sighs tiredly. Walking through the lobby and the ride up the elevator is painful, and with every slow step closer to his apartment, it feels as though there’s lead weighing down his feet.

His mind begins to spin as well. How should he greet Mingyu? How is their conversation going to play out? Should he just ignore Mingyu altogether? Or maybe it’s better to pretend that everything is fine between them— pretend that they’ve reverted back to that short little period in time where their relationship was comfortable, and where Wonwoo had grown to like and trust the guy, but nothing more. No suffocating awkwardness, no giddy heart palpitations and blushing, just no repressed feelings and whatever else.

He wonders if Mingyu will say anything to him. Will he ignore Wonwoo?

All these thoughts race through him, and an uncomfortable squeezing sensation presses against his abdomen as he stands in front of his apartment.

With a deep breath he opens the door.

Obviously Wonwoo doesn’t know what to expect when he enters his home. That’s why he took so long to arrive here from the lobby. And that’s why he played out multiple scenarios in his head to try and figure out how Mingyu will act toward him, and how he should respond.

But what he sees when he steps into his apartment makes his heart fall with a heavy thud.

No, he definitely didn’t prepare for this one.

It hits him a little like déjà vu.

The futon is upright and the living room is so clean, and... empty— not a trace of Mingyu’s belongings are to be seen anywhere. When he walks to the closet that Mingyu uses, almost all the shelves are bare, as though nothing was there in the first place. The only one shelf that is occupied has the blanket Mingyu typically uses neatly folded, and his pillow.

It takes a lot of looking around over and over for it to finally sink into Wonwoo that Mingyu left.

Mingyu is really gone.

He left without saying a single word.

Wonwoo stumbles backwards till he hits the wall, the nasty twisted feeling he’s been trying to escape the past couple weeks rising up his chest. He drags himself down against the wall until he’s sitting on the floor, curled up with his knees to his chest. Hot liquid burns the back of his eyes, and he blinks rapidly to make it stop. He doesn’t want to cry now.

Calm down.

Calm down.

He repeats it like a mantra in his head as he purses his lips and shakily exhales over and over to get his breathing to a regular pace. That resolve is quickly interrupted however when rapid and harsh knocking resounds through the room.

He freezes, unaware of what to do. Should he go open the door? Oh hell no, he can’t go greet whoever it is looking like this. The click of the door opening makes him turn to the right to see who it is, and there’s Jihoon looking a little out of breath like he ran all the way here.

The sight of Jihoon’s face makes his heart drop a little. He doesn’t want his friend to see him like this.

“Wonwoo,” he immediately says when crouching down in front of him.

Wonwoo digs his nails into his arms that are wound tightly around his knees, as if that could keep his face from crumpling at Jihoon’s worried eyes.

“S-say it,” he chokes out. “Say I told you so.”

Jihoon only shakes his head like he already knows everything, and pulls Wonwoo into a hug. “I’m sorry,” he says, keeping his tone calm and steady.

“They... they always leave Jihoon.”

“Who does?” he asks in response, voice barely above a whisper.

Somewhere in the background there’s the click of his apartment door again and approaching footsteps. Jihoon pulls away slightly, probably to look at whoever it is, but Wonwoo doesn’t bother, keeping his face buried in his shoulders.

A couple seconds later he can see Soonyoung’s black jacket from the corner of Jihoon’s shoulders, and Wonwoo closes his eyes.

“P-people I care about,” he speaks again, voice cracking this time, and he squeezes his eyes shut even tighter. Something painful and ugly twists away in his heart. “Mom, dad... Mingyu— h-he...”

“Yeah I know, I know,” Jihoon soothingly rubs his back with a sigh.

“He didn’t even say anything.” Wonwoo coughs, his throat feeling drier than ever.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m so stupid. This was such a mistake,” he laughs, though it comes out half choked up and so hollow even to his ears. His eyes start burning again, and for the second time now he fights away any tears from resurfacing.

“What was a mistake?” Jihoon quietly asks.

“Getting close to Mingyu and... well... everything?” Wonwoo whispers. “I tried so hard you know? To try and open up the past couple years— to get over my stupid fears with people. Because being alone all the time was starting to hurt. B-but losing people hurts way more. So maybe... maybe I should’ve never started.”

It’s silent for a few seconds until Soonyoung speaks for the first time.

“Please don’t say that Won,” he whispers. “Otherwise we might not even be friends, and that would seriously suck.”

Wonwoo pulls back from Jihoon’s shoulder to blink at him. There are worried creases on his face that he hasn’t seen in a while and it makes his heart thud painfully.

Why were his friends even here for god’s sake, and why was he making them worry so much about him? Soonyoung sleeps so early that he was probably already getting ready for bed before he had to rush here. Jihoon was probably in his studio in the midst of work.

Why did Wonwoo interrupt their perfectly peaceful night for his silly emotional breakdowns? He should deal with his dumb issues of heartbreak on his own and start acting like a functioning adult, not a baby that needed—

“Look I already know what you’re thinking Wonwoo, so stop right there,” Jihoon sharply cuts off his train of thoughts.

He gulps at his friend's stern face.

“And Soonyoung is right. Please don’t say things like that,” he adds, voice instantly softer. “It would suck if we didn’t have you as a friend. And I know you’re scared of people leaving, but we’re not going anywhere ok? Soonyoung and I will be right here. Always. Even when you don’t want us to be.”

Jihoon lets out a weak watery chuckle and Wonwoo immediately snaps his head up to look at him.

He’s pretty sure his mouth is agape as he looks in undisguised fascination at the way Jihoon’s eyes are glassy. Despite being friends for years already, it was his first time seeing Jihoon so, well... emotional. It’s usually Soonyoung who was the one full of feelings. Where Soonyoung was the crashing heavy tides, Jihoon was the calmer lull that levelled things out. So it was odd to say the least, seeing the man so out of character like this.

Maybe something happened, the back of his mind hisses at him and he can’t help but frown, momentarily forgetting all about his mess of emotions from just a minute ago.

Jihoon clears his throat, probably feeling awkward with the sudden attention that both Wonwoo and Soonyoung have on him. He blinks away the emotion in his eyes and shakes his head.

“Anyway, you understand what I’m saying right?” he looks pointedly at Wonwoo. “We’ll never leave you.”

“I... yeah,” he nods dumbly, and their conversation ends at that.

Wonwoo later questions Soonyoung and Jihoon, when they’re in the middle of watching their favourite episodes of Brooklyn 99, about why and how they both randomly showed up at his door. Soonyoung’s lips immediately curve into a frown, and it’s silent for a couple seconds before he tells Wonwoo.

“Mingyu actually texted me— he... he told me to go check up on you. I was the one who told Jihoon.”

Wonwoo’s stomach flips. Mingyu did that?

It makes no sense and only hurts his brain more. Even in the midst of doing something that would inevitably hurt Wonwoo, it’s like Mingyu cares a bit too much. It really makes no sense.

When they all begin to yawn, Soonyoung refuses to leave and says he wants to sleep over. And of course that meant he wasn’t going to let Wonwoo sleep on his own either, and that they’d both end up together on the futon (which was in fact bigger than his bed).

Wonwoo sighs, not bothering to fight it or refuse. Maybe it’s better that he isn’t alone for the night anyway.

“Well since he’s staying over, I guess I am too,” Jihoon huffs out, clearly not wanting to be left out, at which Wonwoo can’t help but fondly smile. Despite the way he acted outwardly, Jihoon was secretly kind of clingy when he wanted to be.

“But three of us can’t fit on the futon,” Wonwoo points out.

“Let’s all sleep on the floor!” Soonyoung calls out from the kitchen where he was looking for a midnight snack. “It’ll be like first year again.”

Wonwoo can’t help but smile thinking back to that year. The three of them lived together in a small suite style apartment, located right in between their two separate universities. Although each of them had their own single room, often they would just end up sprawled out with their sleeping bags in the small living-room area of the suite.

“Sure, why not,” Wonwoo smiles, eternally grateful for these two.

Jihoon eventually leaves to get his sleeping bag from his apartment a couple floors up, and Wonwoo heads over to rummage through his closet for the two sleeping bags he owns when Soonyoung calls out to him.

“Won, come here!”

“Hmm?” Wonwoo hums questioningly, making his way towards the kitchen. Soonyoung is standing in front of the fridge staring at something on it, his pupils wavering. “What is it?” he mumbles, eyes following to where Soonyoung is pointing.

On his fridge is folded sheets of paper held up by a magnet. “From Mingyu”, the front of the sheet reads in neat square lettering.

The dryness in his throat returns full force and Wonwoo gulps hard. He takes the papers but doesn’t unfold them to see the writing inside.

“Won...”

“I don’t feel like opening it tonight,” he says quickly. “Let’s just forget about it for now yeah?”

“Ok,” Soonyoung says, slowly nodding and carefully examining Wonwoo with what seems to be a tinge of worry.

Wonwoo looks away and says, “I’m gonna put it away.” He turns around back to his room and tosses the folded papers onto his desk, not bothering to take another glance at it.

***

Mingyu was such an idiot.

Truly the biggest idiot.

He could only stare, dumbfounded as Wonwoo wished for him to tell him not to go on the date.

He understood what that meant. But how was he supposed to react here? What was he supposed to say? He knew that all of his work would go down the drain if he so much as opened his lips— and so he kept them sealed shut.

As the silence continued, Wonwoo’s eyes slowly dimmed and he just looked so damn sad that Mingyu wanted to immediately pull him into a hug and blurt out all his feelings about how much it hurt to see him with someone else— and that Wonwoo definitely shouldn’t go.

But he didn’t do any of that. He stayed frozen in his spot as the guy he seriously liked walked out.

And that’s why even as minutes had ticked by, he’s still standing in the same spot, frozen, the weight of all his actions hitting him like a ton of bricks, making his head fuzzy and eyes watery.

He’s seriously about to go curl up on the couch and start crying, when his bracelet starts blinking and he glances down.

Oh shit, well crying could wait— Jeonghan was calling him.

With a shaky exhale, he hits the receiver on the side of the cord to take the call. Jeonghan’s image projects out in front of him. As always he’s sitting in his office, but today he looks a lot more tense— his usual lazy slouch and feet propped up on his desk is nowhere to be seen. Instead his shoulders are stiff and there’s a serious look in his eyes.

“U-um hello sir,” Mingyu stammers out, thrown off by the atmosphere and still trying to shove down his feelings about Wonwoo and make them disappear.

Jeonghan doesn’t sharply grin at him today, doesn’t tell him to call him by his first name either.

“Hello Mingyu,” he says curtly. “How are you?”

“G-good,” Mingyu mumbles. Could Jeonghan see through it all? Could he see the distress that was suffocating him inside, making it hard to breathe properly? Did he know about Mingyu’s feelings for Wonwoo?

“That’s good,” Jeonghan simply echoes. “I’ve been keeping track of your progress pretty closely, since it’s your first time on the job and all...”

Well fuck.

Mingyu drops his eyes to the floor, the fuzzy carpeting looking so interesting all of a sudden.

If Jeonghan was keeping close eye on him, then he definitely knew everything that had happened. But then... why? Why didn’t he call Mingyu back? In fact, even months ago, why did he turn a blind eye when Mingyu attempted to make a contract without proper procedures? He definitely should’ve been taken off the job then.

Mingyu blinks up. There’s something like remorse, or regret in Jeonghan’s eyes— he doesn’t know if he’s just imagining it, but as the two stare at each other through their screens, it definitely feels as though Jeonghan is thinking the exact same thing as him.

He should’ve kicked Mingyu off this job ages ago.

Jeonghan just tiredly sighs. “So it looks like you completed your task.”

“I-I did?” Mingyu stammers. “I mean... yeah, I did.”

“Yes, good job.” Jeonghan pauses for a second before saying, “I normally don’t do this, but we’re a bit understaffed right now, so I’m calling you back.”

“Oh... um, yeah ok.” His voice is barely above a whisper now.

“I expect you back 24 hours from now.”

“I...” Mingyu can hear his own heart thudding painfully in his ears. It’s really tempting about now for him to cover his ears with his fingers, and squeeze his eyes shut and pretend like he can’t hear anything.

He doesn’t want to leave. He doesn’t want to say goodbye to Wonwoo. He wants to spend more time with him, go on dates with him, have long conversations into the night together, wants to hold his hands, wants to kiss him sincerely this time, no alcohol and confused feelings involved— he wants to do so much more.

Because he... he loves Wonwoo.

The thought comes to him so suddenly, it nearly makes him wince.

This whole time, he was falling in love with Jeon Wonwoo and the realization only hit him now. From the moment Mingyu saw him, every second he spent with him after that, he’d been falling— and now... now it was hopeless. It would actually always be hopeless for them. Because if there’s one thing that the soulmate system taught him with all its talk of the universe and fate, is that some people were destined to be together... and some people simply weren’t. Mingyu and Wonwoo were the latter of those two people.

“Mingyu do you understand what I’m saying,” Jeonghan asks him, his voice sounding distant.

He blinks back at Jeonghan’s tired, yet somewhat apathetic eyes, and realizes he should probably respond.

“I’ll actually um...” Mingyu’s voice cracks and he flinches.

Jeonghan raises his eyebrows at him. “What is it?”

“I’ll be back in a few hours.”

“We’re not in that much of a rush, you know that right?” Jeonghan laughs, though it sounds hollow. Or maybe that’s just Mingyu— everything is starting to feel hollow to him, like nothing really matters much anymore.

“N-no I... there’s no reason for me to stay here any longer,” Mingyu stares at the ground as he speaks. “I’ll probably be back in about 5 hours.”

The truth is, he doesn’t want to stay here any longer, in Wonwoo’s apartment, surrounded by all things related to Wonwoo. Besides, the longer he stayed, the more the feelings of not wanting to leave would grow and consume him altogether. And if he sees Wonwoo after all this... he’d probably do something stupid, like tell him he loves him. And that definitely couldn’t happen.

“Alright... it’s your decision,” Jeonghan simply says. “See you soon.”

At that, the call ends and Mingyu stays standing in the middle of the room, unable to move for a while. It’s like he isn’t quite sure what to do with himself. Eventually he forces his limbs to function and gets on with packing.

Mingyu lets out a tired sigh. It took him a few hours to finish packing, and he's managed to successfully fit all his belongings into two suitcases and a small carry-on.

There were two ways he could do this: he could either bring his luggage with him, or he could send it separately. He decides on the latter because it’ll be exhausting on his abilities to travel through the gate with these suitcases— and although if he sends his bags separately he’ll receive them a week or two late, at least it’s not as tiring.

With that decision in mind, he kneels down in front of his luggage, placing a hand on one of his suitcases. He then mutters a couple incantations that are designed for transporting items across the galaxy (which he proudly knows off by heart), and recites the coordinates of the agency’s base that he has saved on his phone. The moment the last coordinate leaves his lips, the rough fabric of the suitcase begins sinking into the hardwood floor as if it were liquid and not solid wood. It keeps sinking until it disappears. He does this for the remaining bags as well before letting out a heavy sigh.

Well off they go.

He collapses onto the couch, and glances around the living room. It looks oddly barren without his stuff in sight. Mingyu swallows hard. Can he really do this? Can he really just leave without saying a single thing to Wonwoo? Thinking about him coming in here to see Mingyu had left makes his chest physically ache.

He knows if he sees Wonwoo it’ll make leaving only harder— for the both of them. So he can’t stay. But at the same time, he really doesn’t just want to leave without a single trace.

So with a firm decision in mind, he grabs a pen and gets blank sheets of paper from the printer. He then sits at the dining table, ready to spill whatever his heart wants to Wonwoo.

When he’s done writing the letter he folds up the sheets of paper before glancing around to decide where to put them. He ends up placing it on the fridge with some magnets.

He contemplates if Wonwoo will see the letter tonight or tomorrow morning as he heads over to the entrance and puts on his boots. He takes one last glance around the place, making sure the door is locked and that he wasn’t forgetting anything. Then, with a swift swish and a blink of his eyes, Wonwoo’s apartment disappears from his view and he’s standing in the corner of the apartment lobby.

He was initially going to go straight to the gate, but he had to first make sure Wonwoo’s date went ok. He glances at his watch. Judging by how long the concert was, how long Junhui and Wonwoo would take to have dinner, as well as the time Wonwoo said he’d likely be back around, they should be back within roughly 10-40 minutes.

A fancy car pulls into the complex half and hour later, and he’s fairly certain that it’s Junhui and Wonwoo. Mingyu immediately steps outside, making sure not to be seen. He stands a distance away from where Junhui has his car parked, hidden a little by the trees in front of the main entrance of the apartment building, and watches their exchange carefully as they step out of the car.

Junhui says something and Wonwoo laughs and smiles at him.

They’re smiling at each other and the date seems to have gone fine.

A few seconds longer and Mingyu would’ve turned around and left— but just at that moment Junhui steps closer to Wonwoo and he finds himself holding his breath.

He watches as Junhui presses a light kiss on Wonwoo’s cheek and Mingyu shakily exhales. His stomach twists and the back of his eyes burn. And he knows he has no right feeling this way at all— he’s already leaving anyway, his stuff is already on its way back to the agency. But despite all that, it’s like the situation only becomes real now.

This whole time he’s been telling himself over and over, ‘Junhui is Wonwoo’s soulmate’, ‘Junhui will be beside Wonwoo in the end, not him’ — but seeing them actually together is like a smack to the face.

It’s inevitable that Wonwoo will eventually get over his feelings for him, now that he has his actual soulmate by his side. And one day in the future, all that Mingyu will be to Wonwoo is a dusted over, nostalgic and forgotten memory.

A few tears that he didn’t even know were building up in his eyes slip out when he blinks and he shakes his head, quickly wiping his face with the back of his coat.

Junhui steps back into his car and Wonwoo stands there waving. Before he can turn around to head inside, Mingyu lets out a shaky exhale.

“Goodbye Wonwoo,” he whispers.

And with that, Wonwoo, and the apartment, and Junhui’s car that’s pulling out of the parking lot, disappears completely from his surroundings.

***

It’s 2 am and Wonwoo can’t sleep.

Soonyoung is softly snoring to his left, his arms and right leg thrown over Wonwoo. Although it’s a bit uncomfortable, Wonwoo doesn’t have the heart to push him off since Soonyoung is a bit of a baby that needs to cuddle something when sleeping. And so, Wonwoo just accepts being clung onto, and by morning he’s usually pushed off the boy in his sleep anyway.

Wonwoo glances to his right where Jihoon is sleeping soundly, all curled up in his sleeping bag, and sighs. It seems like he’s the only one that can’t fall asleep. He lays there for a while, blinking at the dark ceiling and focusing on the steady tick of the clock with the refrigerator quietly humming in the background.

Eventually he can’t take it anymore and pries Soonyoung off of him, heading to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of water.

Leaning against the kitchen counter, he takes small sips of water.

Somehow standing in the kitchen with this silent atmosphere and dim yellowish streetlight filtering through the nearest window makes Wonwoo’s mind trail off... his thoughts mainly lead to Mingyu unfortunately.

Mingyu was in the kitchen quite often because he liked cooking, and seemed to enjoy feeding Wonwoo— which of course he wasn’t going to refuse. The memory of him accidentally breaking that bowl when Mingyu tried to help him put it back also has its own special little sad spot in his brain. The awkwardness and discomfort between them was so palpable then, but more than anything the surprise of the situation sticks in his brain the most.

Mingyu put Wonwoo’s safety over his own without even a second of hesitation, making sure to cover him from any possible falling glass. And then after all that, his first thought was to ask Wonwoo if he was okay. God who even does that?

He wishes Mingyu was a bad person. It would make disliking him for just leaving out of the blue like that so much easier.

It’s likely that Wonwoo wasn’t all that significant to Mingyu, and he might’ve just treated everyone the same way that he treated him... either way it didn’t matter, because all he knew was that few people in his life cared for him that much, the way Mingyu did, and that fact made his chest ache the most

Still, now that he’s thinking about Mingyu it’s impossible to stop. And instead of slipping back into the covers between his two friends, Wonwoo ends up back in his bedroom, standing in front of his desk.

He stares at the folded sheet of papers signed ‘from Mingyu’ and takes a deep breath. With unsure hands, he slowly opens the loose pages and starts reading.

Hi Wonwoo,

If you’re reading this letter I must’ve left already. To be honest, it feels kind of weird writing to you when I saw you just a few hours ago. I don’t know if you want to hear this right now, but I really am sorry for leaving without saying anything to you in person. I know my apology won’t fix anything, but I still wanted to write this to you. I feel like I haven’t been fully honest with you, and you deserve a lot better than that— because you’ve always been honest to me, even when it was hard for you. So let me be honest now.

The truth is, I really enjoyed staying with you and getting to know you these past couple months. In fact, I think I enjoyed it too much, to the point where I didn’t want to leave anymore.

You were so stubborn and childish... and I won’t lie, also kind of blunt, weird and awkward too. The way you’d laugh so hard at the worst puns, or always go for the sugary snacks and cereal meant for little kids whenever we went grocery shopping together. Or how you’d spend hours and hours gaming to the point where I actually wanted to throw away your controllers. I was pretty close that one time— do you remember? I literally called your name FIVE times from a few feet away and you couldn’t hear me? I was so mad (ok not THAT mad but you get my point). And I can’t forget how terrible of a cook you are. I still don’t fully trust you in the kitchen I hope you know that. Still, I hope you picked up a few things from me so you can make some simple things for yourself instead of living off of carbs, msg and caffeine (for the love of god and Soonyoung’s sake, please stop with the coffee and energy drinks). And don’t get me started on your fashion sense. Do you really have to wear those same ugly tracksuits all the time? You have way too many.

Anyway, this is probably starting to sound like hate mail, but I promise it’s not (and I know you’re probably reading this scowling and calling me an idiot, because I know you). But all those dumb things about you? They actually grew on me.

Like how you’re so awkward— but you try your best to make friends and open up to people anyway, me included. I know I made it hard for you at first with my stupid actions and clumsiness... but you slowly let me in. It felt a little like I was winning something when you’d show me how you really felt; like when you laugh loudly without holding back, or even when you’d get angry or upset. Don’t get me wrong, I hate seeing you sad, but I just liked knowing that you grew to trust me enough to show your emotions so clearly.

And you’re a bit blunt sometimes too— like when you straight up told me to leave you alone at the beginning. I thought you were a bit mean, but in actuality you’re the exact opposite. Despite your blunt words and blank faces sometimes, you’re actually really warm and gentle. You’re so loving of your friends and look at them like they mean so much to you, even Jihoon has a really big soft spot for you and that’s honestly impressive to me. It’s obvious how much you care about them, but I hope you don’t forget to take care of yourself too. I hope you lean on them more when you’re worried or hurt about something rather than close in on yourself. You’re a little stupidly selfless in that way, thinking you have to bear everything on your own and not burden anyone else with your problems. I hope you know it would never burden your best friends to take care of you because you mean so much to them.

You mean a lot to me too.

I know I didn’t really act like it these past couple weeks, but I’m telling the truth. I complain about your terrible fashion sense, but if those tracksuits and colourful jackets make you feel comfortable, then I love them too. I complain about your gaming but the way you get so intensely invested in those storyline games you play is kind of nerdy and adorable to me. Oh and there’s that too: it’s cute how shy and flustered you get when people give you compliments (like you’re probably blushing a lot right now, I know that too).

We did a lot of things together too that I’ll never forget.

Like going sledding on a freezing and bright winter morning till we wiped out and were covered in snow was so much fun right?

Wasn’t the night sky so vast and brilliant with stars when we trekked up stargazing hill? The view from Celestial agency really isn’t as amazing as it is from there.

Playing with all the cute cats in the cat café was probably your personal favourite— I know how much you love them.

My favourite was actually your birthday; the priceless look on your face when we surprised you, and the way you wouldn’t stop smiling and laughing the whole night made me so happy.

I wouldn’t hesitate to turn back time just to experience all of those things once again with you.

I’m sorry if I nagged you too much at times. I’m sorry that you had to deal with me being too clingy, or bothering you at work, or being so loud and rambling 24/7. I really talked your ears off sometimes huh.

I’m also really sorry for any of my actions and words that hurt you— like that night we kissed and I told you it meant nothing to me. I was lying. I kissed you because I wanted to, not just because I was drunk. And if I could, I would kiss you a hundred times again, no alcohol involved.

Most of all, I’m sorry for leaving you like this. I think you know why I had to leave right?

I just wish I had more time with you.

Because the truth is, if you haven’t realized already... Jeon Wonwoo, I love you.

I love spending time with you.

I love all your little actions and words.

I love you way more than you know.

Sorry for giving you such a hard time. Don’t forget me ok? Because I’ll never forget you.

Thank you for everything.

Love,

Kim Mingyu

Wonwoo releases a breath he'd been holding when reading the letter.

“Why are you thanking me huh?” he shakily whispers, hunching over and unable to stop his shoulders from trembling. “I should be the one thanking you.”

Wonwoo looks at the pages over and over, etching the words into his mind. His heart stutters at the rambling endearing mess of it, with all of its sentence fragments, run on sentences and scribbles whenever Mingyu made a spelling error or changes his mind about what to write (he really decided to write this in pen?).

Stupid Mingyu.

Idiot Mingyu.

I love you too.

He’s starkly aware of how his eyes are growing wet with each passing second as he gazes at the little expressive doodles Mingyu adds between sentences, almost like emojis— the little hearts, laughing faces, crying faces and so on.

But beyond all that, what really sticks with him is how the letter is so bright and innocent. It radiates with this overwhelming love and warmth, and it only makes Wonwoo’s heart hurt even more because everything about this letter screams Kim Mingyu.

He clutches the papers in his trembling hands and pulls it close to his chest and keeps it there for a long long time.

        ✦          ✹ .     ˚ * .

           ˚   ✦ 　 · . ·

. . ˚       *　 ·　 ·

　✦　 * . .       *

Chapter Text

After Mingyu leaves, a dullness creeps into Wonwoo’s heart, much like the way the emptiness that had always been keeping him company since his childhood does.

Until this situation arose, Wonwoo didn’t realize that literally half of the things he would be looking forward to every day were in fact related to Mingyu, one way or another. The frequent surprise visits when he was in the middle of work, the continuous mindless chatter when they had lunch together sometimes on the weekend, even Mingyu’s barely there touches, warm and gentle against his skin— he misses it so much.

He misses those casual arms slung around his shoulder, the natural clinginess that simply rolled off of Mingyu in warm waves, the brush of his bangs and unruly disheveled hair in the mornings, the light strokes against his cheeks when he got some food on it when eating, or the tiny pats he gave when he was happy with Wonwoo helping him cook.... he never paid so much attention to all those meager details until now, when they were gone.

How had he lived normally before Mingyu? It strained his memory to remember, even though it was only five or so months ago. He hadn’t even known Mingyu that long, yet it was though he had carved his way into the fragments of Wonwoo’s life, right down to the crevices and edges, and made himself a home there.

Above all, dinner without Mingyu was the worst.

Wonwoo could try to drown away the rest, by constantly studying with Jihoon at the library, or by hanging out with Soonyoung whenever he got the chance. Hell he even called and made some plans with Vernon, Seokmin and Seungkwan (who were none the wiser and remarked that Wonwoo, rarely if ever initiated those plans before; thus leading to interrogations concerning his health, life-changing events, or whether or not the real Wonwoo had been abducted by aliens).

Those three were actually pretty crushed to find out that Mingyu had “moved away”. 'It was a last minute decision, family issues,' Wonwoo had to explain. He did his very best to school the most neutral expression possible and not show just how effected he was by this departure whatsoever. That however didn’t stop Seungkwan from muttering just barely within his hearing range, “ah now I see, Wonwoo is lonely.”

But anyway, all of Wonwoo’s excess socializing and studying couldn’t solve or distract from dinner. It had become like this ritual. Dinnertime with Mingyu was simply ingrained into his routine. It took longer than a week for him to stop absentmindedly grabbing his phone to go text Mingyu to ask if he was going to make anything today, before realizing, Oh. Right. The world didn’t exactly work like that anymore.

And even after he finally got the hang of himself to stop doing that, every single part of his senses screamed out how empty his apartment was as he slowly chewed his food. The hollow quivering silence was deafening in his ears. At least Soonyoung was around from time to time to ease the quiet.

But other people could only do so much for him.

Because Wonwoo’s socializing quota was far lower than the average person’s, he’d always reach his limit real fast. Thoughts where he wondered if he was being a nuisance to others close to him bled in far too quickly than one would normally think, and eating out or going to different places meant facing far too many strangers than he was comfortable with.

He definitely couldn’t let social anxiety take the wheel again— so he would rather let the dullness in his life wash over him, let the hollow feeling in the pit of his soul incase him.

The hollowness reminded him of times before Mingyu and much further back into his past.

It all came in a moment of stark realization to Wonwoo that this void within him had never been present when Mingyu was still around. It was like the emptiness eased away, and the constant ringing in his head that he’d dragged around with him faded away all together.

But now... no matter what he was doing, the void wouldn’t subside. It had been like a dormant volcano, quietly simmering underneath his skin, unnoticed, until Mingyu left. But now it's slowly chewing him inside out, turning him in a hollow shell. 

Wonwoo never entertained the idea that the emptiness inside of him was connected to Mingyu. But now he’s definitely wondering. Even if wondering would make no difference. Even if he would never get to see Mingyu again.

And then of course, amidst all the confusion, curiosity, and emptiness— there was Wen Junhui.

Junhui was a nice person and all, but Wonwoo still couldn’t place how he felt about him exactly. It was so confusing.

After their date, and Mingyu’s departure, he hadn’t spoke to Junhui. Truthfully, Wonwoo was never too keen on texting people, and the past week he’d just wanted to throw out his phone. Something about scrolling through the messages to reply to people left and right, when he really only wanted to talk to one person, made the dullness in his chest deepen.

So yes... he’d been ghosting on Junhui, ever since the date.

He was probably a terrible person for doing that, and he’d felt immensely guilty after seeing the few messages Junhui had sent days ago before the messages stopped altogether. The guy clearly realized he wasn’t getting a response.

Of course Wonwoo quickly apologized for his lack of response when he opened up those messages a week later, and invited him over. He didn’t know how to explain himself across text, and a part of him thought Junhui would simply tell him to fuck off. But of course, no such thing happened. 

He responded to Wonwoo’s messages almost immediately, agreeing to come over to his apartment.

“Mingyu left,” Wonwoo tells him, the moment they meet again, right after Junhui takes off his boots.

Junhui was dressed pretty lightly, with a faded blue denim jacket and a white turtleneck. The temperature was getting warmer, with the snow gradually melting and patches of muddy green grass making their appearance for the first time in months. Snow had bled into rain and many days were gray and dripping— but still, there was a promise of blooming flowers and rays of sunshine in the next month.

Junhui stares at him, jaw slack at the news.

“H-he did?”

“Yeah... the day of our date.”

This only makes Junhui more alarmed. “Y-you mean you knew that he left before our date... or...?”

“No no,” Wonwoo assures him. He doesn’t want him to think he’d been hiding that information through their whole date. “It was after... I mean, I found out after. That he left.”

“Oh I see...” he responds, before adding in a meek voice, “He didn’t even say bye.”

Silence bathes the room at that, until Junhui lets out a short puff of an exhale.

“...Is that why?”

Wonwoo knits his eyebrows, puzzled at the question. “Is that why, what?”

Junhui nervously licks his lower lip and stares at the laminate floor that’s glinting an orange hue from the setting sun.

“Why you didn’t respond for like a week.”

“I...” Wonwoo’s chest tightens. It’s the first time that it was explicitly brought up between them. “I just... I guess yes, in a way. I felt really out of it the past week, and didn’t want to look at my phone for a while.”

“Oh I see. Well I’m...” he trails off, before letting out a hollow chuckle. “This sounds bad of me to say...”

“Hmm?” Wonwoo prompts.

“I mean... don’t take this the wrong way,” Junhui gnaws on his lower lip, and Wonwoo is starting to realize it’s a common habit of his. “I-I just thought for a while, that it was something on the date that caused it. Like for you to not respond...”

“Oh.” The guilt at the pit of his stomach bubbles slightly higher. Of course that’s what Junhui would think— after all, he stopped responding right after their date. It was only a reasonable guess. “Sorry I made you feel that way.”

“No no, it’s fine! I was wrong to assume." The corners of his lips twist upwards sheepishly. “I’m just relieved that, that wasn’t the case I guess.”

“I... yeah it wasn’t. Sorry,” he apologizes again.

They stand there at the edge of the living room for a couple seconds in silence, and it’s like neither of them are aware of what to do. Wonwoo shakes himself out the little stupor and quickly takes Junhui’s wrist, leading him towards the couch.

“Have you had dinner yet?” Wonwoo asks him lightly. He tries to keep his voice bright and relaxed.

“No I haven’t.”

“Oh great, neither have I,” he smiles. “We can eat together. Is takeout ok with you? There’s this Vietnamese restaurant across the street I like.”

Junhui's lips hesitantly curl upwards as well. “Yeah I’d be fine with that, but...”

“Hmm?” Wonwoo questions with a raise of his eyebrows.

“Well I just noticed,” he chuckles. “You were cutting up some vegetables on the counter?”

He follows Junhui’s line of sight towards the kitchen and wants to smack himself square in the face.

Right. He had been cutting up some vegetables for dinner, and got distracted because he’d seen some messages from his friend's group chat pop up on his phone. That only got him checking through his messages for the first time in a while, and then somehow finding the courage to respond to Junhui.

The dinner preparations were long since forgotten after that— until now at least.

“I... I was. But I mean I can just put those away.”

“Why? You don’t want to cook for me?” Junhui pouts and bats his eyelashes in a way that only makes Wonwoo embarrassed (okay not for himself, but for Junhui— god this guy was such a cheeseball).

“T-that’s not it ok,” Wonwoo frowns. He’s sure that his cheeks are going pink. “I’m not really good at cooking, so I only cook for myself. I don’t want to give you something gross to eat alright?”

“I’m glad you care for me that much,” Junhui giggles.

“Please shut up.”

“Well,” Junhui quickly springs to his feet and heads towards the kitchen with Wonwoo on his heel. “I can make us something.”

“You can?”

“I mean I’m no chef éxtraordinaire, but I’ve lived alone for quite a while, so I kind of had to learn. I don’t know if I told you, but I didn’t live with my parents back in China you know?”

Wonwoo groans and slumps against the kitchen counter. “Why are you like this?”

“Like what?” Junhui blinks innocently.

“I’ve been living alone since young too you know?”

Junhui simply laughs, something child-like and sweet sounding. “Ok well unlike you, I kind of care about the food I eat. I can’t live off of instant noodles.”

Wonwoo goes red with embarrassment and shakes his head. “Whatever,” he mutters, which only makes Junhui laugh harder.

“Anyway,” he turns to look around his kitchen space. “I can make pretty good vegetable stew if that’s ok with you.”

“Yeah... that’s fine.” He doesn’t really want to make Junhui work for him like this— but well, he looks pretty eager so Wonwoo isn’t going to interfere.

So instead he just stands there and watches Junhui cleanly slicing up a chunk of broccoli. He follows the lines of his arm, up to his focused face, and a sinking feeling in his stomach resurfaces out of nowhere.

This scene gives him a bit of déjà vu, except Junhui and him were the exact same height, so looking at him feels so... off kilter. Wonwoo misses the imperceptible creak of his neck, the slight tilt of his head, the way his eyes had to travel upwards— to look at the person he’d usually be with in this kitchen.

“Hey what are these,” Junhui’s voice snaps him out of his thoughts and he’s holding open the cupboard that had the seasoning and spices. There's a container of something in his hands. “These are all labelled in Korean so I’m not sure,” he chuckles.

“Oh I...” Wonwoo’s voice falters. What were those? There’s a vague memory festering at the back of his mind, of large tan hands taking out that container and saying something to him. The corners of his lips quiver and he says, barely above a whisper, “I’m not sure.”

Junhui’s face morphs from curiosity to concern. “That’s fine,” he says gently, “we can just open it and see right?”

“Yeah. Um... I- I wasn’t the one who used all this so...” he finds himself explaining.

“Ohhh I see,” Junhui slowly nods, probably understanding things better now.

They don’t talk much after that, at least until they’re seated again with the food steaming in front of them.

Wonwoo carefully blows on the stew on his spoon before taking a bite.

“Oh... it’s good!” he lets out after chewing.

“Why do you look so surprised,” Junhui grins at him, the curl of his lips looking pleased and slightly smug. “I told you I make good stew, didn’t I?

Wonwoo simply shrugs with a smile.

The two continue to eat and talk about random things, mainly Junhui’s new job where he gushes about the sweet little elementary school kids he gets to teach (and of course whines about the obnoxious ones).

He’s in the middle of this story about how he caught one of his students getting pummeled by another student when he was on break supervision and Wonwoo chuckles down at his plate.

“Elementary school, highschool— I guess they don’t change huh,” he says softly.

Junhui stares at him for a few seconds before his eyes widen. “Y-you were in a fight? In highschool?”

“I don’t know if I’d call it a fight,” Wonwoo laughs. “More like just me getting beat up.”

“Oh...” Junhui looks down at his plate, pushing around the remaining food. “I’m sorry you had to go through that,” he says quietly.

“It’s fine.” Wonwoo shakes his head. “I mean, it sucked at the time, but if it weren’t for those bullies I never would’ve met my closest friends. They stood up for me, and that’s how we became friends.”

“Were they the ones you showed me from those polaroids?”

Wonwoo blinks in surprise, not expecting Junhui to remember such a tiny detail on their brief first meeting.

“Yeah... that’s them.”

“What are their names again?” he asks. 

“Soonyoung and Jihoon... we’re all the same age. Soonyoung actually goes to the university near where you teach.”

“Epsilon College of Arts?”

“Yep, that would be it.”

“Oh cool!” Junhui perks up. “I once went there for this coffee house event they were hosting.”

“Coffee House event?” Wonwoo raises his brows.

“You know, like a show with all sorts of performances and stuff,” he explains.

“Yeah I know that. I’m just curious... did you see any dancers in the show?”

“Yeah, there were lots,” Junhui shrugs before scooping up some carrots from the stew. “Oh! There was this one really good dance team, they were insane.”

“What were their outfits like?”

Junhui slowly chews his food as he tilts his head with a curious look. “Hmm, uh, it was all mixed up. Like street wear and all. Although they all wore this black bandana with some logo on it.”

“Did you see a blonde Asian guy on the team?”

“Yeah...” Junhui’s voice trails off, as if he were looking back on the performance. “I did actually. He stood out a lot, maybe cause of the bright dyed blonde hair, and he was just seriously good,” he says with a smile. “Why? You know him?”

“Yeah... that’s actually Soonyoung.”

“Woah really? That dude was so good!” Junhui exclaims.

“Well yeah,” Wonwoo smiles, unable to keep the pride out of his voice. Every time someone gushes about how talented his friend was, he couldn’t help himself. Soonyoung was going to be big one day, he could feel it. “He’s actually a part of Helia Dance Academy, if you’ve heard of them. They’re really big here.”

“Woah woah, that’s the studio he’s a part of?” Junhui asks in awe.

“Yeah, he’s one of the main instructors there. He leads the team in most competitions.”

“That’s so cool. I’m actually really into dancing. It’s what I did for fun, after quitting piano,” Junhui muses, voice a little faraway and lost in thought now. “When I came here, I wanted to try and join some dance team or at least attend some classes— and I did look at that studio when they were holding auditions. But it’s like, the best in the city, so I didn’t try it,” he laughs with a hint of embarrassment.

“Do you want to go there and watch the team?” Wonwoo asks quietly. He glances down at his bowl that was half full now.

“W-wait, what?” Junhui stammers with surprise.

“On Saturdays sometimes, you can go in to watch their practice. I go there often, so the receptionist knows me,” he laughs.

“So... that means I get to meet Soonyoung?”

Wonwoo’s eyes flicker to Junhui. Truthfully Wonwoo has been contemplating what he should do for a while now. Soonyoung and Jihoon both knew Wonwoo already found his soulmate— that was why Mingyu left after all, because his job was done. But they’d been understanding enough to not ask him about it whatsoever, considering well... everything. 

But how long could Wonwoo keep Junhui from them? Time was moving forward, and Wonwoo had to get a move on with his life. He couldn’t be trapped in the few meager months he’d spent with someone else.

“Yeah,” Wonwoo smiles. “You want to meet him?”

“Yes of course!” comes the enthusiastic response. “It’d be cool to meet your friends, especially those two.”

Wonwoo nods between spoonfuls of the stew. He swallows before saying, “Then let’s go. I’ll see Soonyoung at the studio tomorrow, so you can tag along if that works with you...”

“S-so soon?” Junhui sputters.

“Only if you want to,” he simply shrugs, trying to remain casual, though his stomach is already twisting up into knots.

“I... I want to,” Junhui nods with determination. “Let's go then. Tomorrow.”

Wonwoo can only nod in return. The hint of nervousness in Junhui’s voice is hard to miss, but he doesn’t take back his words or try to pry out of this situation.

They finish up their food after that, and Junhui leaves shortly after helping him wash the dishes and clean up the kitchen.

It felt weird, Wonwoo later thinks that night as he’s lying in his darkened bedroom. He stares up at his ceiling that’s dotted with his glow in the dark stars, the neon lights dimly staring back at him.

It should have felt domestic— being around Junhui like that, in his apartment. But no, it was just strange. Maybe it was because he had grown too attached and comfortable with someone else that now he was stuck comparing.

From the contrast of their skin tones, the difference in their scent when they were standing close enough, the fact that they used different colognes, or the varying pitch of their laughs... Wonwoo didn’t need to tilt his head to meet Junhui’s eyes, and when Junhui leaned closer it didn’t feel as though he was completely surrounded; instead, Junhui was similar to his own physique: slender, small waist and broad shoulders. It was... different.

The more he compares the two, the more little patches of anxiety bloom in his stomach, like daisies popping up out of nowhere. The glow in the dark stars seem to brim brighter with every passing second, all while his limbs grow more tense.

Wonwoo quickly snaps his eyes shut. Stop comparing, he scolds himself. He tosses and turns for what feels like forever. It’s like the harder he tries to keep his mind blank, the more filled with thoughts it becomes and keeps him awake.

He doesn’t know how long it takes (way too long, that’s for sure), but eventually he must doze off, because he wakes up the next day with a sinking feeling that ‘this is it’— Junhui was going to meet Soonyoung today.

He stumbles out of bed, half dazed and half nervous, as he gets ready. He can’t seem to stop glancing down at his shirt buttons, undoing and redoing them over and over, even though there was absolutely nothing wrong with them. Maybe he was going a bit insane, who knows.

When he gets to the place the two agreed to meet, Junhui is already there, casually leaning against the ledge of the water fountain that was stationed at the center of the city’s main park. Water sprayed up behind him, sparkling into beads under the sunlight as it fell down against the backdrop of the deep blue sky and puffy marshmallow clouds.

After what felt like years, the sun was actually bright and high today. The air was fresh from the endless downpour of rain and gray skies the last couple weeks, and it was like everything was finally coming alive.

Junhui looked well dressed for the seemingly perfect spring afternoon, wearing ripped skinny jeans that were rolled at the ankles, along with a white tee and pastel pink bomber jacket.

As Wonwoo approaches the water fountain, he stops a couple meters away and watches Junhui. He's squinting at his phone that’s nearly pressed against his face, the sun probably making it impossible to see his screen.

Wonwoo can’t help but giggle at the sight before walking up to him.

“Can’t see your phone screen?”

Junhui looks up in surprise.

“Hi to you too,” he smiles before glancing down at his phone with a frown. “And I’m trying to bring up the brightness but I can’t find the button. Seriously, am I the only one who has this problem?” he whines.

“It wouldn’t be a problem if you kept auto-brightness on,” Wonwoo chuckles.

Junhui just pouts. “Auto-brightness was annoying me before so I turned it off.” He goes back to swiping blindly across his blackened screen.

“Here, give it to me,” Wonwoo says and snatches the device out of his palms. Surely enough, on the very first try, he manages to make the screen bright, glowing and well— visible once again. He shoots Junhui a smug smile, who he only pouts in return.

“Thank you,” he mumbles as he takes his phone back, and Wonwoo can only think, ‘cute’.

They exit the park and from there, walk down the streets of downtown to their destination. The city is alive and bustling, especially with the blessing of good weather, so it feels as though the air has a happy hum to it. A gentle spring breeze blows by, and honestly: it’s perfect. Almost a little too perfect....

Wonwoo just can’t seem to leave behind this unshakeable feeling that something is going to go horribly wrong today. There has been an uneasy stir in his stomach since the moment he woke.

The path to the studio has multiple rights and lefts, twists and turns. Despite the fact that it’s become such a renowned dance studio over the years, it’s actually located in a narrow, backwards alleyway kind of road, in the nook and cranny of downtown. The studio itself is underground, and is huge— probably why they haven’t decided to relocate for a nicer, more open and scenic location.

In fact, it’s because of this complicated route that Wonwoo had suggested he and Junhui meet elsewhere and go there together— in case Junhui got lost or something.

They’re almost there when Junhui tugs on his shirt, and excitedly points to the glass display of a store they’re walking by. What meets his eyes is an array of colourful streamers and giant candy jars filled with assortments of jelly, gumdrops and basically every candy in the book.

“Is this Cherika’s Candy shop?” Junhui asks in awe.

“Yeah.” Wonwoo raises his eyebrows in curiosity. “It’s pretty popular among locals. Kind of a hidden gem... how did you hear about it?”

“One of my colleagues,” Junhui shrugs peering into the store, his nose nearly touching the glass. “Said the ice-cream here was the best in all of the city.”

“Then how about we stop by here after visiting the studio,” Wonwoo suggests as he’s tugging Junhui away from the display. This immediately gets him rapid nods of the head.

They finally arrive at the studio around five minutes later after more turns into narrow roads. Wonwoo leads Junhui through the small glass door of what honestly looks like a corner shop, and down a narrow set of stairs, then through another wooden door at the bottom.

“Hi Iris,” he immediately greets the staff that he’s familiar with at the front desk.

Iris, a petit lady with dark skin and short frizzy black hair looks up from her papers. “Oh Wonwoo! It’s been a while since I last saw you.”

“Yeah, I’ve been a bit preoccupied lately.”

Iris leans to the side to look past Wonwoo and smiles, “You also brought a friend I see.”

Wonwoo nods, “Would it be ok if we went in?”

“Sure, practice is almost over so you can catch the last bit.”

Wonwoo says his thanks and begins his way down the hallway to the practice rooms with Junhui trailing behind.

There were multiple rooms, but Wonwoo knew they were most likely in the biggest dance practice room.

He stops before reaching the door, and stands in front of glass panels that give a view of the inside of the dance studio. Wonwoo can immediately spot the familiar flash of icy blonde hair pushed up by a black headband. Soonyoung, as usual, is sweating up a storm— but his eyes are cool and focused as he moves through the choreography.

They seem to be doing a hip-hop routine and Soonyoung’s dancing is incredibly powerful and precisely sharp and detailed throughout it all. Even if Wonwoo knows absolutely nothing about the technical aspects of dance, it doesn’t take a professional to figure out that Soonyoung is just seriously good at what he does. Watching him simply puts you in awe from the way charisma oozes off of him on the dance floor.

“That’s him right?” Junhui murmurs beside him, eyes also trained on the shaggy blonde haired dancer.

“Yep.”

“Damn, he’s cool.” A glimmer of awe emerges from Junhui’s voice.

“Yeah, you think that till you meet him,” Wonwoo snorts.

They continue watching the practice in silence after that. He isn’t really sure how long passes by of watching the dancers learning new moves and continuously going through the choreography, but eventually they stop, and the instructor says a few words to them before they all disperse, most of them going straight to their water bottles.

Soonyoung rubs his neck in tiredness, and turns in their direction, probably to grab his stuff. His eyes land on Wonwoo and his whole face lights up. He rushes out empty handed, with a grin stamped onto his face.

“Won! What’re you doing here?”

“Hey,” Wonwoo smiles meekly. “Just thought I’d come by and visit. Hope it’s ok with you.”

Soonyoung smiles brightly as he walks up to them. “Yeah of course it is! I just wasn’t expecting this... but yeah, we’re taking a break right now, it’s all good.” He leans slightly to the side, probably to take a better look at the person that almost seemed to be trying to hide behind him.

Wonwoo clears his throat loudly, twisting his hand behind him to nudge Junhui to stand beside him.

“Also...” he slowly starts. “I wanted you to meet someone.”

Soonyoung raises his eyebrows.

“Soonyoung, this is Junhui,” Wonwoo awkwardly states, and only silence seems to follow for a couple of seconds. Still, Wonwoo continues, “H-he’s... the one Mingyu...”

He trails off. He can’t say this in front of Junhui. But the moment he says those words, it’s like an automatic switch flicks in Soonyoung’s eyes.

“Ohhh,” Soonyoung slowly nods, immediately understanding.

“Yeah, um he’s my soulmate,” Wonwoo laughs awkwardly. He’s pretty sure Junhui is giving him weird looks about now.

Soonyoung’s whole face lights up at that, and he grins at the both of them. “Nice to meet you Wonwoo’s soulmate!” he says, reaching his hand out for a handshake.

Junhui smiles, a blush tinting his cheeks immediately as he shakes Soonyoung’s hand. “Y-yeah, nice to meet you.”

“Honestly, I would hug both of you but I’m kind of...” Soonyoung looks down at himself in distaste, “...yeah, looking like this right now.”

Wonwoo quietly chuckles.

“Why did you have to bring him here of all the places Won?” Soonyoung whines, turning to him.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“I look like a mess, all sweaty and gross right now. Totally uncool.”

“No! I think you were very cool!” Junhui blurts out. There’s a semi-second break of silence right there, before Soonyoung bursts out laughing. His hamster cheeks bunch up, and his eyes turn into thin lines.

“Really?” Soonyoung says between laughter. “Thanks. I’m glad you think I’m cool.”

Wonwoo rolls his eyes. “Junhui’s interested in dancing, and he’s seen you perform before at one of those shows you did. So I was the one who suggested we come here.”

“Well in that case, you two want to come in? You can watch the rest of the practice inside,” Soonyoung asks.

“R-really, we can?” Junhui leans forward in excitement and Wonwoo can’t help but smile.

“Yeah of course. We’re not working on anything too serious right now,” Soonyoung says as he gestures towards them to follow him. Inside the dancers are lying around, talking and gulping down bottles of water.

“Um hey Soonyoung...” there’s a voice from behind them and they all turn their heads to see Minghao standing there, holding a notepad.

“Oh if it isn’t the great choreographer Xu Minghao!” Soonyoung exclaims, throwing his arm around the taller boy and tugging him closer. “What’s up?”

“Uh, if you’re busy right now I’ll just...”

“No, it’s fine! I’m not busy,” Soonyoung responds brightly, quickly turning to them and explaining, “Minghao is choreographing a portion of the dance for the first time today.”

“That’s cool, good luck Minghao,” Wonwoo smiles at him encouragingly.

“Thank you.” He returns the smile.

And maybe Wonwoo is simply imagining it, but the moment Minghao's eyes flicker to Junhui who’s standing next to him, it’s as though something wavers in his eyes and the corner of his lips go stiff. Yet just as quickly, the look vanishes back into a polite and calm smile.

Soonyoung turns to them, “I’m gonna go help Minghao with this if that’s ok.”

“Yeah, of course go, we didn’t come to bother you.” Wonwoo smiles.

“Cool! Stick around till practice ends ok? I want to hang out with you two!” Soonyoung shoots them a grin before he and Minghao walk away and go into discussion about whatever Minghao needed help with— something about formations and whatnot.

“That’s my neighbour by the way,” he offhandedly comments as he watches the two talking with their heads bowed down at Minghao’s notebook. “Been a while since I last saw him. I nearly forgot that he said he’s in the same dance studio as Soonyoung.”

When he’s only met with silence, he turns his head to Junhui and squints in confusion.

It’s like Junhui’s face is frozen staring at Soonyoung and Minghao.

“Hey...” Wonwoo nudges him to get his attention. “You okay?”

“Wuh-what?” Junhui stammers and shakes his head as though he’s trying to snap out of it.

“I asked, if you were ok,” Wonwoo softly repeats.

“Fine,” Junhui squeaks out. “I’m fine.”

“Ok...” he responds, unconvinced.

They sit in absolute silence after that.

Wonwoo wants to talk again— but something about Junhui’s pale face from moments ago makes his stomach churn and he’s at a loss of words. Junhui isn’t saying a thing to him either.

He takes a small peek at the other’s face, and the uneasy feeling only intensifies... he’s never seen Junhui look this expressionless or stone cold before.

'What’s wrong?' He wants to ask. 'You were in such a good mood, just a while ago.'

Wonwoo gulps.

Minutes pass, and finally— the dancers get up and go back into practice mode.

The lady that seems to be the head instructor gives a little spiel about this being Minghao’s first time teaching, and the rest of the dance members cheer for him when he finishes demonstrating his routine. Even Wonwoo finds himself cheering, ignoring the suffocating silence from the man next to him.

Minghao’s dancing isn’t as refined and powerful as Soonyoung’s— but has this sort of fluidity and undefined grace to it that makes it beautiful to watch.

A couple minutes back into practice, with Minghao explaining the moves with a gentle voice that somehow seems to command attention from everyone, Junhui abruptly stands.

“Hey,” Wonwoo whispers and tugs on his shirt, “What are you doing.”

Junhui’s eyes flicker to him, and the moment their eyes meet, fear shoots up Wonwoo’s spine like lightening. Why does Junhui look so sad? In fact he looks close to tears and the corners of his lips tremble.

“I... I really don’t feel well,” Junhui whispers back, “I’m gonna go ok?”

It’s like the wheels of his brain stop turning at those words— because one second, Wonwoo is holding onto Junhui’s shirt, and the next, he’s slipped out from his grasp and already out the door.

In delayed fashion, Wonwoo almost calls out to him and yells at him to stop—and then he remembers he’s in the middle of a dance practice of course. He seals his lips shut and immediately grabs his puffy green spring jacket from the bench and runs out after him.

Fumbling with the jacket as he tries to put it on while running out multiple doors and up the stairs from where they entered, Junhui is nearly out of sight.

Dammit, how was this guy so fast?

“Junhui! Wait!” Wonwoo now yells once they’re outside and continues speeding after him.

“Wait up!” Corner after corner in the narrow roads, he nearly skids into the pavement from sharp turns multiple times. He also almost trips over a couple kids that zoom past him and nearly make him lose Junhui altogether.

“Fucking st-stop! Dammit stop!” he yells out between wheezing and coughing as he chases the impossibly fast Wen Junhui. Eventually he can’t take it anymore and comes to a halt, leaning down and resting the weight of his palms on his kneecaps.

He pants heavily as he tilts his head up, and squints in the sun that’s glaring directly overhead. There’s a faint blurry silhouette of Junhui, who has also thankfully stopped a couple stores, fire hydrant, and a bike away from him.

“Fuck,” Wonwoo pants, still hunched over his knees. “I’m gonna throw up my lungs. How am I so out of shape?” he wheezes out to no one in particular.

Maybe a minute passes before he finally straightens his back and begins walking over to Junhui, who seems to have taken residence on the steps leading up to an apartment entrance. His heart is still pounding from all that uncalled exercise, but at least his head feels clearer now.

He’s immediately about to blurt out a ‘What the fuck was that?’ when he’s close enough, but one look at Junhui’s face makes the words jam up in his throat.

There are fresh tears dribbling down his face— and it’s so unexpected, so alarming, that Wonwoo can only stand a foot away, at the base of the steps, and watch dumbly.

“Junhui?” he finally wills himself to speak.

“What?” he spits back as he wipes his eyes roughly. Despite the supposed harsh tone, there isn’t much bite to Junhui’s words when Wonwoo can clearly hear the vulnerable and weak waver that follows.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, keeping his voice as gentle as possible.

“Nothing.”

“Clearly it isn’t nothing...” Wonwoo pauses before trying again, “Please, can you tell me what happened back there?”

This time, he doesn’t even get a response.

He sighs and goes down to sit beside Junhui. The two sit in silence for who knows how long, and people pay no mind to them as they go in and out of the building, moving past them from the other side of the steps.

Wonwoo is the first to break the silence and chuckles bleakly, “Hey, you really wanted to go to that candy store though huh?”

This catches Junhui’s attention and he looks up at him questioningly.

Wonwoo points across the road. “You led us right to it.” Just a store or two down from them is Cherika’s candy store, bright and colourful as ever in the brimming sun— somehow the atmosphere of today no longer matches their moods.

“Wanna go get ice-cream?” he suggests.

Junhui just sniffles, still not responding.

At that Wonwoo simply gets up and crosses the road. If Junhui wasn’t going to go get ice cream, Wonwoo might as well just bring the ice cream to him. No big deal.

By the time he exits the shop with two waffle cones in hand, each with two satisfyingly large scoops stacked on top, Junhui still hasn’t budged from his spot on the steps.

“Vanilla or Chocolate?” Wonwoo asks, walking up to him. “I didn’t know what you liked, so I picked the most neutral options.”

Junhui stares at him for a moment before letting out in a meek voice, “Why are you being so nice to me?”

“Well what do you want me to do?” Wonwoo frowns. “Be mean to you when you’re crying?”

“You...” Junhui sighs, staring at the pavement before kicking a little pebble. “You’re so...” he trails off.

“I’m so... what?” he tilts his head. “Look, I just want to get to know you better ok? You know it’s usually the other way around? It’s other people prying into my life. Now just tell me, chocolate or vanilla, and then we can talk.”

It’s silent for a couple of seconds after that.

A car horn blares in the distance, the chatter of people and jingle of a dog leash goes by behind them— and Wonwoo just gulps, still waiting for a response.

He’s not used to this. He’s always been blunt to strangers, but he’s not so upfront about things like this. Things like trying to make a friend, or things like asking for his soulmate not to shut him out... and god it’s nerve wracking. Because right now, all the cards are in Junhui’s hand and not his own. He could just tell Wonwoo to go away and leave him alone right here and now, and that would be it. Wonwoo would be powerless against that.

At last, Junhui simply whispers, “Chocolate.”

“Oh good, I like vanilla better,” Wonwoo chuckles before sitting back down next to him.

Half way through eating their ice cream in the quiet hum of the spring afternoon, Junhui speaks.

“Sorry for running out like that.”

“You were hard to catch up to,” is his simple response as he quickly tilts his head to catch the dribbling trail of melted vanilla ice cream from the side of the cone.

“Sorry.”

“Why did you run out?”

“Cause of your neighbour.”

Wonwoo stops mid-lick and turns to look at Junhui. “What?”

“Minghao. Xu Minghao,” Junhui perfectly enunciates, obviously void of the accent that many generally have when saying his name.

“You know him?”

Junhui scoffs. “I ask myself the same question.”

“What do you mean...”

“It’s a long story,” Junhui sighs.

“We have a long time.”

There’s a pause between them after that, like Junhui is contemplating whether to say anything at all. He must have made his mind up because he eventually takes a deep breath.

“Last summer, the summer before I moved here, I went on a trip by myself to a small city, to visit my grandfather...” Junhui begins talking, and Wonwoo simply listens.

“My grandpa was ill, and had to be hospitalized. I stayed in his house, and visited him regularly. A couple blocks down from the hospital you see, there was an art studio. One day, I went into the studio out of curiosity, and ended up talking with one of the workers there. We spoke, and she told me about these painting and sketching workshops that happened there."

"I met another person that day too. A man who said his name was Mingming. He was at the art studio because he wanted to be an instructor there, and wanted some details on the position. I spoke with him for a surprisingly long time that day."

"Looking back on it, I’m not sure if I decided to sign up for the art lessons because I had genuine interest despite not knowing a thing about painting or drawing... or I just wanted to see him again."

"When I started lessons, he would hang around me a lot, more than the other students, and give me pointers when I was drawing. I wasn’t really sure what that meant. But over time, as the summer went on, we pretty much spent all day together. Even after the lessons, even before the lessons, even on the days when there were no lessons. And I guess I realized I really really liked him, and would do pretty much everything to be near him."

"I’m sure he noticed, and I was pretty sure he reciprocated the feelings. There was some misunderstandings between us for a bit, but then I put an end to it by just telling him how I felt, and I guess we became something. We liked each other, but were comfortable for the time being, not labelling our relationship. At least, I think that’s how he felt."

"I... I even told him about my soulmate. Well... soulmates.”

Wonwoo’s eyes widen. He doesn’t understand a thing.

“And then Mingming left. Just like that. He vanished, without a single goodbye. There were no promises to stay together, to keep in touch, there was absolutely nothing. I thought I’d never see him again in my life, until today that is.”

“Mingming was at the dance studio?” Wonwoo’s mind spins.

“Like I said. Your neighbour. Can’t believe he lied to me about his name,” Junhui scoffs. “How low can a person get...”

The puzzle pieces scatter and jumble as Wonwoo tries to put them together. And then everything clicks into place.

“Mingming is Minghao?” Wonwoo whispers.

Junhui gives the slightest nod of his head, and then hands him his ice-cream cone. It’s melted quite a bit by now. They both seemed to have forgotten about it.

Wonwoo holds the two cones, utterly baffled, and ignoring the vanilla and chocolate ice cream that’s dribbling down the sides of his wrists.

“B-but, how can you be sure. Junhui, what if he has a twin or something. And what on earth did you mean by soulm—” Wonwoo freezes, the words vanishing right on the tip of his tongue. Junhui is removing the bracelets off of his right hand, for the first time that Wonwoo’s ever seen... and it’s like time around them stops.

There, on Junhui’s thin wrist, is a name that isn’t his own.

Xu Minghao.

The name is delicately written in both Chinese and English.

Junhui lifts both his hands in front of him, and upturns his wrists. On either wrist is a different name.

Jeon Wonwoo. Xu Minghao.

Wonwoo glances back and forth between the names, over and over and over. He’s unable to formulate a single coherent thought from all this.

“No, not a twin,” Junhui shakes his head. “The man I saw today, from the way he talks, the way he moves, the way he stands— that’s definitely him. No doubt about it. Besides, when he looked at me... I could tell, he recognized me.”

“Junhui...”

“I’ve always been confused about this you know?” he whispers. “For so long, I couldn’t make sense of having two names, but I just hoped that one day it would all work out. Yet here we are...” Junhui shakes his head. “Nothing has worked out.”

“We can try to make it work,” Wonwoo says, voice mellow. He’s still trying to make sense of the situation. Could some people have two names? Was that a thing? God he wishes he had searched more into soulmates, it would be real helpful about now.

“How? I was practically in love with Mingming... or should I say Minghao,” Junhui laughs tiredly. “But he lied to me, wants nothing to do with me, and—” his voice wobbles midway and he buries his face into his hands. “And then there’s you. I know how you feel, you don’t need to lie about it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m just so confused, and I wish I could stop feeling confused.”

“Yeah... I get that.”

“Do you though?”

“Junhui, can I tell you something?”

“What is it,” he sniffs.

“I don’t actually have the mark.”

“W-what?”

Wonwoo gets up and throws out the remainder of the ice cream into a trashcan a metre or two away from them. With his hands finally empty, he spins back around on his heel as Junhui leans forward in confusion and curiosity. Wonwoo slowly pulls away his jacket sleeves and holds up his wrists to Junhui. “I don’t have a soulmate mark,” he repeats. “None. Never did.”

“T-then how do you know...”

“I just know,” Wonwoo bites his lips. He isn’t quite ready to tell him about Mingyu and the Celestial agency, and that whole ordeal... he’ll probably never be ready.

“I... Ok... well. This just makes me more confused.”

“Yeah... I know. But at least we can be confused together.” Wonwoo gives him a weak and tremulous smile.

Junhui doesn’t get up from the steps and Wonwoo just stands there, letting a single sigh slip into the air.

“Hey can I ask you something?” Junhui says at last.

“Yeah?”

“D-do you know how it feels, to totally open up to someone— let them into your life, way more than anyone else, because you trusted them. O-only to...” Junhui’s voice cracks and he squeezes his eyes shut, like that would help control his emotions better. “Only to wound up hurt, be-because a part of you thinks they meant more to you, than you meant to them...”

Wonwoo tilts his head and looks at Junhui for a couple drawn out seconds, a tiny and downtrodden smile slowly finding its way onto his lips.

“I know how it feels,” he finally whispers. “Better than you think.”

“Yeah...” Junhui stretches out his legs so that they reach the base of the steps and kicks some stray pebbles on the sidewalk. “Thought so.”

Wonwoo sighs again. “You want to go back now Junhui?”

“Yeah, I’m feeling kind of done...” Junhui purses his lips with some finality before finally getting up. “Let’s go.”

“By the way,” Junhui adds when they’ve passed a couple blocks. “Let’s go to that candy store again sometime?”

“You want to? You only finished like half the ice-cream”

“Yeah I know...” Junhui frowns. “I want to savour the taste next time.”

“Ok then,” Wonwoo laughs.

Wonwoo dreams for the first time in a long time that night.

And of course, it’s the one dream that he doesn’t want to see.

Call it what you will: the universe, god or whatever higher power (if such a thing existed), his own subconscious... they all seem dead set on making him see this stupid dream over and over, growing up, and even now.

The field he stands on is as wide as ever, every inch of it dotted with yellow wild flowers. The sun is so bright, it makes everything around him fade into blinding white. Like turning up the brightness and exposure to max when editing a photo.

He’s running across the wild flower meadow, as fast as his small child hands and feet can take him, with faint muffled laughter surrounding him. Yes, he knows he's a child in these dreams. He can tell by looking down at his body. There’s another person there alongside him too, and their laughter mingles and mixes with his own, creating this serene yet unsettling harmony in the summer air.

Or at least he thinks it’s summer— it’s so incredibly hot and bright.

And the person he’s with: he can’t see them as usual, their figure shrouded by a blinding white light.

He sees their hand though, clasped tightly around his. But even then, the hand is blurry and he can’t discern the person’s gender or age.

Wonwoo and this mystery person keep running and running across the meadow until eventually, they’re running by the edge of the forest, alongside this creek that keeps endlessly flowing forward, getting bigger and bigger... when, everything goes wrong.

The scene shifts and they’re on some kind of platform to cross the river with gushing water roaring all around, ready to engulf them. All at once, the stranger right behind him stumbles, and Wonwoo spins around.

And for the first time he sees him.

It’s a boy, a young boy, probably around his age.

The boy slips and falls backwards away from him.

Wonwoo screams something out, a name that’s warbled and jumbled up in his ears, and he lunges forward, arms outstretched. Their fingertips graze for barely a fraction of a second before the boy’s body pummels into the icy water below.

Wonwoo keeps screaming out things his mind can’t process— the words getting more distorted and warbled with every passing moment.

And then his eyes flash open, up to the dark concrete, lined with glowing stars, of his bedroom ceiling.

He’s breathing so hard and heavy it’s like his lungs could burst any minute.

He slowly gets up to sit upright and crinkles his nose in disgust at the sheen of sweat slicking over his body. Slowly breathing in and out, he tries to get his heart rate back to normal.

Wonwoo doesn’t know how long he sits there, but his heart slowly but surely goes back to its regular faint thump.

What just happened?

He’s never experienced that before. He’s never actually seen the person he’s with in his awful dream. Wonwoo slowly exhales and wipes his forehead with the back of his arm.

Who was that?

He tries to recall the boy’s face— only to see flashes of his body plummeting into the rushing water.

His face...

Wonwoo didn’t see it. And even if he did, he didn’t process it. Everything happened in such a blur: it was all just a frantic lunge to grab the boy as water sprayed and splashed everywhere, and his slightly overgrown hair whipped into his face.

He shakes his head, giving up in trying to recall the boy’s face and leans over his bedside table to grab his sleeping pills.

Last time he’d had this dream, was when he went to go see his father. Mingyu had helped him fall back asleep that night, but now he was on his own to deal with this.

“I wonder what Mingyu is doing right now,” he mutters absentmindedly.

Wonwoo freezes, his hands stopping midway from the pills. He hadn’t meant to say that out loud.

Wonwoo sighs and puts the pills back. He doesn’t take any and pulls himself out of bed and into the hallway. Cold blue moonlight, and the burning orange of the lamppost, fight their way through the large sliding glass doors of his living room.

He makes his way towards them, and the moment he pushes back the glass and steps onto the balcony, a gust of cold air hits his chest. He’s actually enjoying how chilly and calm the night air is. It’s nice after waking up in cold sweat and panic from that dream, or rather... a nightmare.

With his arms up on the railing, he sighs and rests his head in the crook of his elbows and squeezes his eyes before tilting his head up at the sky.

A few stars faintly shine— but they're so distant, it's like he has to squint to see the many fainter ones. It wasn’t like the last time he looked at the stars, that’s for sure.

It’s still so vivid in his mind: the hundreds and thousands of pinpricks of light illuminating the sky. It was so brilliant, and dense, and like... like, Wonwoo could reach up and touch them all.

‘No light pollution out here unlike the city.’

Wonwoo frowns.

“Yeah way too much light pollution out here,” he mumbles, the corners of his lips drooping.

A kind of emptiness sits inside of him tonight, growing and piling onto his chest until it’s like he could turn to dust. Maybe it’s the strange dreams causing it all. Maybe he should’ve just taken some sleeping pills instead of getting up.

It’s nights like this that Wonwoo wishes he could fly away and just disappear for a while. Escape all people, escape work, escape the school stress. None of that: just a place with no light pollution, under thousands and thousands of glimmering stars.

Ok no... scratch the ‘all people’ part. He’d want Mingyu there with him, asking him to name constellations. And so, they’d name constellations together.

“I wonder what you’re doing right now,” Wonwoo whispers again, his eyes fixated on the faint, barely there, pinpricks of light above.

***

Jeonghan hadn’t been lying when he said they were short on workers.

The moment Mingyu got back to Celestial agency, he’d been shipped right back to earth. This time, he wasn’t assigned to any particular human, but instead was temporarily put in the communications department (as they were low on personnel) and sent back to work with the Soulmate service.

He’d been working day and night every day for the past week because of the shortages, especially in his department. But now that it was the one day of the week that he got off, he wanted nothing more than to get away from the city for a while; maybe it’d help him breathe a little easier.

Which is why he’s out, lying atop a grassy hill in the dead quiet of the night, overlooking endless trail of farm fields, way out in the countryside.

“Two thousand, six hundred and sixty-eight miles,” Mingyu mumbles to himself.

That’s how far he was from Wonwoo at the moment.

He sighs and looks up. Countless of stars span over him in the pitch-black night sky. It's like thousands of jewels sparkling up there, and he can almost reach out and touch them.

He really missed this feeling when he was in the city.

Mingyu closes his eyes.

“I wonder what he’s doing right now...”

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Chapter Text

“And that’s why, everything is a mess,” Wonwoo finalizes.

“Wow...” Jihoon mumbles as Soonyoung takes another chip from the open bag that sits between them. The two are sitting beside each other, backs against a couch, with Wonwoo across from them on his living room carpet. “Two soulmates? Who would’ve thought...”

“It’s not impossible you know,” Soonyoung says.

“Huh? Since when?” Jihoon demands as Wonwoo adds, “Yeah same. I never knew people could have two soulmates.” 

“Well they can,” Soonyoung says a matter of factly between crackles and crunches of potato chips. “It’s just quite rare. I think almost as rare as people with no marks at all.”

“That’s weird...” Jihoon says, voice barely above a whisper.

“Yeah well, so is the whole idea of soulmates if you think about it.”

“Ok so how come we never heard of this before?” Wonwoo questions.

“Because .” Soonyoung rolls his eyes. “Up until literally months ago you two wanted nothing to do with this whole soulmate shebang. You two practically acted like you were allergic to the concept, so now you’re wondering why you know nothing about it? Come on, it’s not as if they teach these things to you in school.”

His eyes dart to Jihoon who’s staring back with a mildly exasperated yet defeated look that simply reads, ‘I hate admitting that you’re right’.

“Anyway,” Soonyoung continues. “You guys probably don’t even know that platonic soulmates are a thing.”

Wonwoo nearly drops the potato chip he was picking up from the bag. “W-what?”

“Yeah see, this is exactly what I mean,” Soonyoung says flatly. “Platonic soulmates are possible, having more than one mark is possible, a lot of things are possible in the soulmate system. Did you guys really think that having a soulmate always meant you were gonna marry the person or something?”

He scrunches his eyebrows together as Jihoon and Wonwoo quietly share dumbfounded glances between each other.

Something about this revelation is mind-boggling, yet makes perfect, perfect sense to Wonwoo all at once. Platonic. Soulmates.

“You did think that didn’t you!?” Soonyoung exclaims, splitting into Wonwoo’s spinning thoughts.

Jihoon sighs, rubbing his nose bridge between his fingers. If Wonwoo knew his friend as well as he thought he did, Jihoon didn’t quite understand the concept of being ‘wrong’— at least not in school, so this probably all felt like a slap to his face. 

A few disgruntled noises later and Jihoon finally lets out, “Well... I thought soulmates were like romantic partners.”

Soonyoung simply laughs at that. “I mean that’s usually the case ninety-five percent of the time. The other five percent not so much.”

“So I wasn’t wrong.”

“You weren’t right either,” Soonyoung coolly points out. “Five percent may not seem like a big deal, but that’s one in every twenty people. And if you look at the population of earth right now... five percent is a massive number.”

“True,” Wonwoo nods.

“Yeah, like did you guys know that back in the olden days, maybe like a century or so ago, it was huge taboo to be in a relationship with someone other than your soulmate?”

“Ok, well I knew that at least,” Jihoon mumbles at the same time that Wonwoo questions, “In some religions, isn’t it still taboo?" 

“Yeah it is. Which is why in some countries, it’s not allowed to be romantically involved with anyone other than your soulmate. Of course many people know that that’s nonsense now and people can date freely. More and more people emerged that showed how platonic soulmates are a thing. Not to mention the fact that it’s not like every single person in the world is able to have this deep romantic attachment to someone else. 

“Like aromantic people?”

“Mhmm,” Soonyoung nods.

“Ok ok, but putting aside the whole platonic soulmates thing,” Wonwoo interjects, “Seriously how can there be such thing as having two soulmates. Like, what can cause that?”

Soonyoung simply shrugs. “No one knows the reason for sure. But people do know that polyamory is very possible. And like I said: platonic soulmates— maybe some people have both a platonic and romantic soulmate.”

“Huh. Weird,” he remarks. “So Jun having two soulmates isn’t as weird as I thought?”

“I mean, it’s not common. But it’s not like it’s never seen before.”

“Should he file a report to the Soulmate Service for this?”

“I don’t think so,” Soonyoung shakes his head. “He’s already met both of you. It’s just a matter of deciding how he feels about you two." 

“He’s in love with Minghao,” Wonwoo quietly says. 

Jihoon raises his eyebrows at him.

“I just know it.”

“Then what about you?” Soonyoung asks.

“I don’t know how he feels about me,” Wonwoo responds as he hugs his knees against his chest and fiddles with a loose string on his gray sock. 

“And your feelings?” Jihoon carefully asks.

“I don’t know how I feel about him either.”

“Well...” Soonyoung sighs. “Then that’s that. This isn’t a Soulmate Service problem. This is a you three problem. I guarantee that’s what they would tell you guys.”

Flopping backwards onto the carpet, Wonwoo lets out a groan. “Soonyoung why are you an idiot about everything except for when it actually matters.”

“I think that just means I’m actually smart,” Soonyoung laughs as he gets up to throw away the empty chip bag.

Wonwoo parts his lips to retort back, when all at once the classic electronic notes of the Super Mario Bros OST sounds through the room.

“Your ringtone is so stupid,” Jihoon shakes his head.

“Please, you love it,” he quips which gets him a knowing grin back.

He pulls his back up from the carpet and glances down at his phone. The smile from his face slips the moment he reads the caller ID.

Jihoon must notice because he immediately asks, “Who is it?”

“Grandparents.”

Wonwoo knows his grandparents calling to check up on him isn’t necessarily a terrible thing. But the last time they called was because of his father. So now, this has to be something related to that. It’s been a few months since then. Summer is already around the corner.

“Well pick it up!” Jihoon says sharply, startling him out of staring blankly at the Caller ID. 

He slides the button to receive the call and clears his throat before bringing up the phone to his ear.

“Hello?" 

“Wonwoo, hi .” He recognizes his grandfather’s deep voice on the other end. “ I’ve been meaning to call... Your grandmother and I were just wondering how you’re doing.”  

“Hi...” He pauses and silence fills the line. “I... I’m fine.”

Soonyoung is back now and quickly plops himself back down beside them. ‘Who is it?’ he mouths silently to Jihoon, who simply shrugs in response. The two slowly bring their eyes to focus on him, and Wonwoo blinks away. 

“You have finals coming up don’t you?” his grandfather continues.

“Yeah, in like 3 weeks.”

“I see... good luck with those.”  

“Thanks,” Wonwoo mumbles, unable to shake away the awkwardness between them.

He’s never quite been able to hold a conversation with his grandparents— especially not on the phone. They were pretty absent during his childhood. The one time Wonwoo recalls meeting them was when he was six, at his mother’s funeral.

He sometimes wonders why they rarely visited, or why his family never went to go see them either.  It was only after Wonwoo started living with his aunt and uncle during middle school, and his father’s situation got worse, that they came around a little more often. 

They were pretty nice old people, but somehow Wonwoo always felt distant from them. In fact, even with his aunt and uncle... despite living with them for five or so years, they felt like strangers to him as well.

Wonwoo knew part of the reason was his own fault... after all, he was a master of building walls around himself and keeping others at bay. But at the same time... it’s not as if they tried harder to get closer to him.

“Um is that all?”

It’s quiet for a while, before Wonwoo hastily adds, “I mean, is there anything important in particular that you called for?”

He hears a grunt, and maybe a few hushed whispers in the background before his grandfather finally mumbles out, “Y-yeah, actually, there is.”

“Oh...” He purses his lips, knowing all too well what’s coming. “What is it?”

“You see...your father is going to get out very soon.”

Wonwoo’s eyebrows furrow. Gwangjin is getting out faster than he expected.... or maybe he’d just been so preoccupied with Mingyu and Junhui and well, everything, that he hadn’t been keeping track of time as well. 

If he thought about it, it did make sense. It had been a few months since the news about Gwangjin, and he’d gotten a very short sentence considering it was a first time offence of drug possession.

“Oh...”

“The thing is Wonwoo, we didn’t tell you everything.”

“What?” His chest immediately tightens.

“Your father’s condition... it’s not very good.”

“What do you mean?”

“He has liver cancer.”

Wonwoo freezes and it feels a little like a bucket of ice cold water has been dumped over him, or he’s been dunked into the deep end of a pool.

It takes a while for his lips to start working, but his grandfather lets the line fall silent. Perhaps waiting for him to say something.

“H-how long?” he finally manages to get out.

“The truth is, he had it about a year ago, and we caught it in its early stages. It was treated as best as possible. It was his request not to tell you about it and we respected that.”

“So... so now? What now?”

“The cancer came back. And it just didn’t feel right keeping this from you any longer. Even before the relapse, when you came to visit a few months back, your grandma and I were considering telling you about the treatment from last year. But we know you didn’t react well to meeting him again so we kept silent.”

Wonwoo’s hand trembles. A part of him wants to drop the cellphone, crush it under his feet, smash it into dust and bone and glass, like he’s ripping at his emotions until he’s numb to feeling anything at all. Otherwise he might just go mad— like he could scream and cry until his voice goes hoarse that this isn’t any of his business. Why did they have to tell him this? Why does he even care ? And there’s another feeling among all of this— guilt? Is this what guilt feels like? If he opened up more to his grandparents, maybe they’d have told him this during his visit...

Yet a colder, more calculating part of him hisses, does it matter? It’s not as him knowing about this makes any difference. Whether he knows or not, the illness will run its course and take Gwangjin’s life. There’s no need to make his own feelings collateral damage.

Growing up, Wonwoo slowly came to learn that what they say is true after all: the opposite of love wasn’t hate. It was apathy. It was feeling nothing at all, not caring about someone that should’ve been so close, having no empathy or remorse.

And if his sorry excuse of a father could ignore him nearly his whole life, he could do it too.

'...you’re actually really warm and gentle...'

“Yeah right,” Wonwoo scoffs under his breath.

“What was that?” His grandfather interrupts his thoughts.

“N-nothing.”

“Wonwoo.”

“Yes?”

“Would you come back to visit him one last time? Maybe after your exams?”

One last time, he says.

Wonwoo gulps.

“Ok,” he finally responds, not quite sure why he’s agreeing to see Gwangjin again. Maybe something to do with guilt, or remorse, or needing closure on this stupid part of his life. Or just simply because Mingyu thought he was kind and warm or whatever the fuck, and if they saw each other right now, Wonwoo wouldn’t want to disappoint him by actually being the coldhearted person he truly is.

“Ok?” His grandfather repeats in almost disbelief— like he didn’t expect Wonwoo to agree so fast . “We’ll see you in about a month then? Let us know when you’ll be coming up here.”

“Yeah alright.”

“See you soon.”

“Bye,” he finally ends the call, letting out a shaky exhale.

Lowering the phone slowly, he finally looks up and his friends are still there, eyes bright and curious, yet concerned all at once.

“What was that about?” Soonyoung is the first to question.

“Just some... news I guess.”

“What kind of news?”

“I mean... I don’t really know what to think,” Wonwoo chuckles bitterly. “But I do know I have to visit my father.”

“What? You have to go meet that hag again?” Jihoon scowls.

Wonwoo can’t help but smile. “Yep looks like it.”

“Why?”

“He has liver cancer.”

It’s silent for a solid three seconds before Jihoon finally says, “Oh.”

“Well shit,” Soonyoung mutters right after.

“Yeah Oh,” Wonwoo chuckles, though without much humour. He sighs at their worried faces and shakes his head.

“I’m going after exams, it won’t be a big deal. Don’t make it a big deal,” he warns them.

“Won...” Soonyoung frowns.

“No.” Wonwoo sharply interrupts. “I’m telling you, I’ll be fine. And I want to go alone.”

“What!?” Jihoon cries out in defiance. “You can’t be serious.”

“No really. I just feel like this is something I have to do on my own. I am a fully grown capable adult, time to start acting like it yeah?”

He’s so glad his voice isn’t shaking right now. In fact he sounds pretty firm and unfaltering, even though he’s losing his shit on the inside. He must seem pretty confident because Jihoon and Soonyoung look perplexed and even a little convinced.

“You know I’m still pissed about that right?” Jihoon frowns.

“Oh come on, I apologized for like two weeks after that!” he whines.

“You didn’t tell us about something as important as your dad’s situation to us until a week later, and went on a train to visit him with Mingyu instead?” A scowl crosses Jihoon’s face.

“I’m sorry, I really am,” Wonwoo does his best to widen his eyes apologetically, hoping he looks cute or something. “I just thought you two were too busy to deal with that.”

Jihoon parts his lips to snap something back but Wonwoo cuts him off quickly, “And I know! I know I shouldn’t have done that now, and I was wrong for it. So... I’m telling you guys this now, aren’t I?”

Both his friends let out a sigh, and Soonyoung speaks up.

“Won, if you really feel like you should go alone, then we’ll trust you.”

“Just text us and keep us updated,” Jihoon adds.

“Alright, I will.”

“Will you really be fine?”

“Yeah, I will. Promise.”

The sun is high in the sky when the date comes for his departure. He’s standing in front of Soonyoung’s glinting white Camry, his bags packed and in the backseat.  

He’d said his goodbyes to his two best friends at Soonyoung’s apartment, and was eternally thankful for his friend trusting him enough to borrow his car for a couple days, or however long the visit would last. 

He’s taken the next week of work off so he doesn’t need to worry about that.

Also, exams are done— and honestly Wonwoo doesn’t even know how he did on those. Not that he even cares as much at this point. What’s over is over.

Still, there was something nagging his heart, which is why he couldn’t find it in himself to sit behind the wheel and hit the road just yet.

This irritating tug on his chest comes in the form of an out of breath Junhui standing in front of him just minutes later.

“You called,” he huffs out, probably having just ran here from the time Wonwoo called him.

“Yeah...” His voice trails off, suddenly at a loss of words and unsure why he called Junhui in the first place. He stares down at the gravel beneath his sneakers and frowns.

“I live nearby so I ran here,” Junhui breathes out, stepping a little closer so they’re only a feet or two away from one another. “You made it sound pretty important.”

“It is...” he responds, voice barely above a whisper.

“Well,” Junhui says, regaining his breath by now and straightening up. “What is it?”

“I’m leaving.”

“Leaving ?”

“It’s only for a couple days,” Wonwoo sighs. “I’m gonna go visit my dad. I just— I guess I thought I should tell you so I don’t randomly disappear on you again.”

“Oh... um, thanks... I guess.” Junhui parts his lips, his eyes scanning Wonwoo, like he’s trying to formulate the right words.

He finally speaks after a couple seconds. “Your father... you said you don’t have a good relationship with him right?”

“Yeah I don’t,” the corners of his lips twist begrudgingly. “But it turns out he’s very sick right now. So I figured it would be best to visit him.”

Honestly, Wonwoo doesn’t know if he’s really going to visit his father on his own accord— but doing it for other people, or because he was asked to. Either way, it doesn’t matter. 

“Is he gonna be ok?” Junhui’s quiet voice breaks into his thoughts. Wonwoo looks up in surprise to see the worried furrow of his eyebrows.

“Probably not,” he diverts his gaze. “He has uh, liver cancer. I guess all those years of drinking caught up to him huh,” he lets out a humourless chuckle at the end.

“Wonwoo...”

“Anyway,” he cuts in with a shake of his head. “I just, I’m sorry for calling you out of the blue here like this. To tell you something this useless.”

“It’s not useless...” Junhui frowns. “We’re friends right? You should tell me these things.”

“Friends...”

“Yeah. We are right?” There’s a slight waver in his voice at the end, like he’s scared Wonwoo will say no.

“Yeah...” Wonwoo says after a moment. He can’t help but feel his lips curl up just the slightest fraction. “Yeah we are.”

Without overthinking he steps closer to Junhui and brings his arms up to pull him into a hug.

Junhui must be surprised by the gesture at first because he stays tense and frozen for a couple seconds until his muscles relax and he hesitantly brings his hands up and gives him a couple pats on the back.

Wonwoo isn’t quite sure if he initiated this hug to comfort Junhui, or comfort himself . It’s been a painfully long month of studying, then writing his exams, all while acting like he’s perfectly fine. He didn’t want to show his friends that he was actually turning into a nervous wreck because of this visit, because then they’d never let him go alone.

But a part of Wonwoo knows, that as anxious as he is, he has to do this by himself. Partly because it feels like a challenge set out for him— a challenge of trying to withstand his past, and finally give him closure. Whatever that closure may be.  

“Hey, are you ok?” Junhui’s voice is quiet against his chest.

“I’m fine,” Wonwoo shakes his head as if that’ll help him push his confusing emotions down into the depths of his brain a little longer. Instead he tries to shift his attention to this fruity, berry scent coming from Junhui’s hair, and wonders where he got the shampoo from.  “Hey Junhui?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry about the thing with Minghao,” he mumbles into his shoulder.  “I know you’ve been struggling with that, and I haven’t exactly been helping you out either.”

“What are you even talking about?” Junhui laughs and pulls away from Wonwoo to look at him, his hands resting on his shoulder. “You know you’re the first person I told about him? And you even bought me ice-cream for fucks sake.”

“Yeah, but still...” Wonwoo frowns. “The past couple weeks, we haven’t really been hanging out... and you were so upset about that whole thing. And now I suddenly make you run out here just to tell you my own problems before leaving.”

Junhui’s smile at that is so fragile and tiny, but it’s there all the same. “No, I know you were busy with exams, I get that. That’s why I didn’t reach out to you again either. And I’m glad you at least told me. Even if it was last minute.”

Wonwoo just stares back him, unable to find a proper response. Junhui should really stop being so nice to him. 

“Hey, are you really fine going alone?” he asks when Wonwoo doesn’t say anything for a while.

“I... y-yes,” Wonwoo stammers. “I made up my mind. Thought it would be best.”

Junhui doesn’t look quite convinced but seems to accept the response any way. “Well good luck then. Call me if you need to alright?”

Wonwoo nods in agreement. “Ok. And you do the same alright? Like um... talk with him...  I know you two can work things out.”

“How would you know?” Junhui chuckles, a hint of bitterness creeping through his tone.  

“Gut feeling.”

“Yeah I don’t know about that...” he says distantly, lowering his eyes to the ground.

"But at least try to talk ok?” Wonwoo presses. “Ask him why he left and everything.  If he gives you a half-assed response, or says something stupid to you, I’ll drive right back and beat him up for you.”

This gets Junhui to crack a smile again, wider than moments ago. “Wonwoo I hate to break it to you, but I’m pretty sure Minghao could whoop your ass.”

“Shut up,” he scowls.

“It’s true!” Junhui giggles. “I don’t think you’re capable of beating anyone up.”

He looks away with a pout, which gets Junhui laughing harder. He moves his hands from Wonwoo’s shoulders to grasp his fingers and give them a light squeeze.

“Whatever,” Wonwoo says defiantly. “I’ll get Jihoon and his boyfriend to do it then. I’m sure those two can beat anyone up...” his voice trails off in thought before he frowns and says, “Or... ok no. Maybe only Jihoon can.”

“Jihoon... like your friend that I haven’t met yet?”

“Yeah him.”

“You really should introduce me to him,” Junhui says with a pointed look.

“When I get back, I promise.”

“I hope you remember that.”

“I will, don’t worry,” Wonwoo grins and glances down at the time on his phone. “Ok, I should get going now...”

“See you soon,” Junhui says, stepping forward with his arms out like he’s going to give Wonwoo a hug, then very obviously chickening out halfway and awkwardly ending with an off the shoulder-pat on the back kind of thing.

Wonwoo smiles. “See you.”

He gets in the car, and starts the engine. He waves back before driving off.

The drive is pretty long, so Wonwoo knows he needs to do his best to keep his mind off of Gwangjin.

But as hard as he tries to stop thinking about it, the thoughts only seem to cloud his brain more, and make him more anxious.

It gets to the point where he mutters out loud, “Shut up brain”. He decides to turn off the radio station and instead changes to the songs on his phone. He ends up listening to Jihoon’s demo songs, which finally gets him to smile a little.

How does Jihoon even write such good songs? It always impresses him.

Wonwoo glances at the time. It was already evening and the sun was sinking lower into the sky.

He knows that it’s around the time that Jihoon gets hard at work in his little studio. But then again... nowadays it might be a little different. Because of who Jihoon was with after all...

Wonwoo frowns in thought. So much happened the past month, yet he barely felt present for it all. It’s like his body was there, but his mind was wandering elsewhere, to Gwangjin and his upcoming visit to the little town that Wonwoo grew up in and hated every second of.

So of course he didn’t think much of Seungcheol this past month getting invited into his and Jihoon’s friend group from university, and regularly hanging out with Soonyoung as well.

And with Wonwoo’s head up in the clouds he definitely didn’t notice how much closer Seungcheol and Jihoon had gotten either.

At least until one day, about a week ago, when Jihoon abruptly announced to them over lunch at a ramen restaurant that they were dating. Apparently they started dating, coincidentally, on the day Mingyu had left. And Jihoon didn't want to bring it up when Wonwoo was going through a hard time. No wonder he seemed so emotional and a bit out of it that day when he came to console Wonwoo after Mingyu's departure. 

Soonyoung just whooped and congratulated them, the news coming as no surprise to him, while Wonwoo just sat there dumbfounded with a bowl of untouched pork tonkotsu ramen in front of him.

They dug in, and Wonwoo tried to enjoy the food but simply couldn’t shake the strange feeling clawing at his chest. He was happy for his friend, of course he was.

How Seungcheol got through that prickly and stubborn exterior was a mystery to him, but Jihoon genuinely looked happy with the decision, so obviously Wonwoo was happy for him too.

But still...

He couldn’t help but remember of the point in time, where both he and Jihoon didn’t really want anything to do with the soulmate system unlike the majority of the population. In fact, Jihoon hated it even more than him.

So wasn’t it ironic that here they were, and Jihoon had long since accepted his soulmate, while Wonwoo was still just as confused and messed up about the whole situation?

And watching Seungcheol and Jihoon together... it came like a stark realization, that for the first time in Wonwoo’s life, he actually wanted what those two had. And it was all because of Mingyu. How had he turned so irrational and silly, all because of a boy? 

But even despite his changed feelings, a great part of him still doubts he’ll ever have something like that.

Wonwoo shakes his head. Great, he successfully diverted his thoughts from Gwangjin to something just as bad.

He presses his lips tightly together and stops the car. He’s at a small fast food court at the side of the highway. With a sigh, he steps out of the vehicle to get himself dinner.

Wonwoo slumps down on the bed after he sets down his bag in the guest room of his grandparents' house.

The room is wide and clean, with fresh white sheets laid down, and nothing but a wardrobe and bedside table plus lamp. It looks very unlived in, which is as expected.

He closes his eyes and leans back until his head bumps against the bed’s backrest. His eyelids are heavy and he could really go to sleep right then and there, even though it was only 8pm. His eyes snap back open however when there’s a light knock on his door.

“Come in,” he calls out.

His grandfather is standing there in the doorway, wearing a grim look on his face, and he quickly sits upright.

“What is it?”

“I wanted to talk to you about something.”

Wonwoo frowns. “Oh um, ok.”

He enters the room and settles down on the edge of the bed beside Wonwoo.

“I thought it would be best to tell you, before you go see him tomorrow... of how his condition is at the moment.”

Wonwoo eyes his grandfather warily, wanting nothing more than to plug his ears. Of course he does no such thing— he needs to handle this like an adult. And so he nods, encouraging him to continue.

“When the cancer returned, it came back a lot worse. It was quite minor last time. But now, it’s spreading and his condition is definitely worsening.” 

“So the chances that he makes it for long are pretty low huh,” Wonwoo whispers, clenching his jeans between his palms to keep his hands from shaking. A great part of him truly doesn’t want to go see Gwangjin tomorrow, in fears of what he’ll see, what he’ll feel.

“Unfortunately yes... we’ve put him through some treatments, including chemo and radiation therapy. But that only does so much to slow it down.”

Wonwoo narrows his eyes, something feeling off in the pit of his stomach. “The treatments though... they’re so...” his voice trails off.

“Expensive?” his grandfather completes the thought for him. “Yes we know. We definitely wouldn’t be able to afford it normally.”

“Then how...?”

“We had some outside help.”

“Loans?” Wonwoo looks up. The cold calculating part of his brain turning its gears once again. Why invest so much money and resources, even putting your own livelihood at risk with loans, for a... lost cause ?

“A bit of loans,” is his grandfather’s slow response, as if he’s contemplating whether he should say anything more or not. A couple seconds late and he sets his mouth in a firm, hard line. “And also, some relatives helping.”

Wonwoo immediately frowns. Who in their family... his aunt and uncle? No that would make no sense, they had their own share of problems with their money and too many children to provide for. He racks his brain until he finally cracks out, “W-who...”

“Your grandparents. Your mother’s parents.”

Wonwoo’s back immediately snaps straight and he stares at his grandfather, eyes widening by a fraction. No this didn’t make any sense... why would they , of all the people. How could they do that... why... His mind spins, the confusion and surprise blending together all at once.

It must show on his face because his grandfather only looks at him with a shake of his head and says, “I honestly don’t think it’s my place to answer any of your possible questions.”

“But I—”

“They’ll be stopping by tomorrow. Would you be willing to talk with them?”

His mouth goes dry. How do you ask your grandparents that you haven’t met in forever, why they would willingly give money to the man that was essentially one of the reasons for their daughter’s death. How...?

“I... yeah sure,” Wonwoo says in the end. He’s agreeing without a real reason.

Wonwoo knew his mother’s parents lived out of the country, in fact most of his mother’s family did. It might be why he never saw them— but then again, that’s really all he knew about them. They never ever contacted each other. The last time Wonwoo recalls seeing them was once again, at his mother’s funeral.

It’s almost like everything kept accumulating at that single day, when the sun shone mockingly bright, and they stood in the church chapel with light illuminating the stained glass windows, and words were spoken to bid his mother goodbye. Wonwoo can’t quite recall the look on his father’s face that day. He remembers the crying people around him, glimpses of his grandparents, nameless aunts and uncles, he remembers the casket, and him sobbing his eyes until they were rubbed pink and raw because he didn’t want his mom to go— but he doesn’t remember his father’s expression at all.

“Are you sure it’s a good idea to tell the boy?” a woman’s hushed voice asks.

“Haven’t we been keeping it long enough from him?” someone else whispers back.

“Yes exactly, he’s old enough to know the truth.”

“It will...” their voices grow lower and he can’t catch the rest of the words.

Wonwoo gulps as his heart threatens to beat out of his chest.

Tell what boy? What truth ?    

He’s standing in front of a nearly closed door, hands trembling in front of the living room doorknob.

His grandparents, who were currently in the living room, had called him downstairs to meet the guests they had over: his mother’s parents. He was really going to meet them for what felt like the first time in forever.

But the moment he reached the room, he heard their hushed secretive voices and couldn’t help but stop and listen in on the conversation.

They had to be talking about him. Who else would they be talking about so quietly, like they were scared of being heard?

Wonwoo’s mind whirls like it’s going through a blender. He takes a deep breath and slowly turns the door handle to enter.

The room snaps into silence the moment he steps inside and his grandparents abruptly turn their heads to look at him.

He stands there awkwardly for a couple seconds before he forces his lips into an upward curve. “N-nice to meet you,” he stutters out to the old woman in the room, who’s seated on the old fabric couch across from his grandparents. He quickly bows and takes a seat on the chair adjacent to the two couches, sweaty palms squeezed together tightly on his lap.

The woman looks a bit younger than his grandparents, but that might just be because of the black hair dye streaking through her graying hair.

“Y-you came alone?” is what he first stammers out and he wants to bury his face into his hands. Really ? That’s the first thing he could think to say?

The old woman only smiles gently, and for some absurd reason shivers creep up the back of his neck. Her smile looks so eerily familiar, and it makes him shift uncomfortably in his seat.

She doesn’t answer Wonwoo’s first question and simply says, “Ah you’ve grown up so much.” Her gentle smile gradually melts into something sadder. “You look just like your mother... the splitting image of her.”

Wonwoo’s throat turns dry. Gwangjin’s parents never said anything like that to him.

“To answer your question, yes I did come alone,” she finally says, her somber smile still present. “My husband passed away a couple weeks ago.”

“O-oh I see...” Wonwoo whispers. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

She shakes her head. “No, it’s fine. It’s what happens when you get old...”

Silence drifts between them for a while, before she speaks again. “Though it’s a shame about your father. He would have much longer.”

Wonwoo grits his teeth, not quite wanting to think about that again. His hands aren’t easing up on the clamming whatsoever. He gulps, and with every ounce of courage, he speaks and tries to keep his voice from wobbling. “I... I overheard you all talking before I came in.” He glances over at his grandparents who look quite surprised about now. “You were talking about me right? What truth?”

His grandfather audibly sighs and slumps against his chair.

“Yunhee, it’s probably better if you explain,” his grandmother addresses his well... other grandmother. In Wonwoo’s head it feels strange to call her that, because they just met for what was practically the first time.

“Yes that’s probably best,” Yunhee sighs. “Since it does concern Yuna.”

Wonwoo snaps his eyes up. “My mother?”

“Yes,” she nods. “You don’t remember anything at all Wonwoo?”

“R-remember what?”

“He doesn’t know.” His grandfather shakes his head. “Not at all.”

“Know what?” Wonwoo asks, his stomach clenching and dread rising higher and higher in his chest. A part of him wants to run out the room rather than know at all.

“Wonwoo,” Yunhee calls softly. “Do you know how your mother died?”

“Yes,” Wonwoo answers shakily. “She committed suicide.”

“And how did you find out?”

“When I was 10... I found it in some old newspaper articles. And I asked...” Wonwoo’s voice trails off and notices the way his breath is trembling as he exhales. “I a-asked my father and he confirmed it.”

“Did the articles describe how she committed suicide?”

Wonwoo blinks, his hands are still clamped together, but he’s squeezing them even tighter, nails digging into his skin. Bile rises up his throat from recalling all this— it’s too easy to remember. He’s etched the information into his brain without even wanting to.

“No. They didn’t,” he answers.

“Ah I see,” Yunhee nods, leaning back in her seat. “He covered it pretty well then.”

“Of course,” his grandfather mutters.

“E-excuse me?” Wonwoo stammers, wariness now seeping into his voice.

“It was just a cover up,” the old woman shakes her head. “Your father paid the papers to cover up the story of her actual death. Yuna would never commit suicide,” she says with a sigh.

“Wuh-what do you mean?” He can’t stop stuttering now.

“Back then papers never covered suicide related deaths in detail. They were always glossed over. It was quite a taboo topic, so it wasn’t suspicious that it didn’t state the exact cause of death. And your family was under a lot of spotlight back then, so there was already gossip going around that your father was negligent and your mother was unhappy. So the story seemed very believable to the public.”

He’s starkly aware that his hands are shaking by now and his heart jumps up to his throat. Still, he forces the words to spill out and state the question sitting so blatantly between all of them. “T-then how did she die?”

“It was an accident,” his grandfather voices from the other end. “In this town actually, when your family came to visit here.”

“Then why...” he chokes out. “Why would he cover that up?” 

“Because,” Yunhee looks at him, the same dreary look on her face returning— but this time, there was something slightly different in her eyes when they scan over his— something nearing pity. “You were involved in the accident too.”

Wonwoo’s heart drops, the thud ringing in his head.

“I don’t... I don’t remember I—”

“You lost memory of the incident.”

Fear shoots up his spine the moment those words are said and he can’t even clench his hands tighter to keep them from trembling.

“I’m not sure what happened exactly...” Yunhee frowns. “But you were playing outside that day. Although you were always a quiet and well behaved kid, you were extremely curious and when you were alone you often let your head into the clouds and spaced out a lot. You’d wander off without even realizing it.”

“The number of times we’d lose you in the supermarket when you were with us," his grandfather adds with a small, sad sort of chuckle. For a second his eyes look far away like he’s reminiscing, but just as quickly he blinks the look away.

“You wandered off that day,” Yunhee continues. “You weren’t supposed to go further than the field at the back of this house, but you did. Your mother noticed and went after you. You wandered into an abandoned old shack.”

No stop , he suddenly wants to say.

Instead, he keeps his lips shut and continues listening.  

“The building you went into was so old and it was breaking down... it was very dangerous. From the investigation, it seems like she saved you just in time, protected you from falling debris.”

No, no, I don’t want to know this, he’s tempted to scream.

“The autopsy said she died from blood loss, and you were probably too shocked and too young to do anything or understand what was going on.”

Stop it. Stop, his heart cries, unable to hear it any longer.

He wants nothing more than to just plug his ears, shut his eyes and curl up into a ball. He could hum a melody and rock himself back and forth to calm down, tell himself that this is just a dream. It’s all just a dream, a nightmare, and he’ll wake up soon.

But no waking up happens.

And everything around him— from the low ceiling lights that seem to be flickering too harshly, to his heart slamming against his ribcage— it all felt too coldly real.

Yunhee sighs and closes her eyes, the corners of her lips drooping down. Her wrinkles seemed to have grown deeper, and her hair more wilted and gray over the course of this conversation, like she aged even more in these mere minutes. 

It takes a couple seconds for Wonwoo to register that his body is in fact shaking. His hands are trembling and his pulse is growing sharp and shallow.

His vision blurs with water clouding his eyes, and he gasps out, unable to keep his breaths steady.

“Wonwoo,” his grandmother gently calls, which snaps him out of his tremors slightly, and his clouded vision clears for a moment. She’s staring at him with eyes full of worry... and regret— regret more than anything else. Like she knew this would crush him. Still, she speaks softly, obviously trying to calm him down. “I’m so sorry. I know it’s a lot to take in. It’ll be okay,”

Wonwoo takes in a big gulp of air, his lower lips trembling as he opens his mouth.

“S-so you’re telling me,” he chokes out. “th-that it was my fault. This whole time I was blaming my father and it was my fau—” 

“No it wasn’t. Wonwoo, you were just a kid,” Yunhee’s voice wobbles slightly too when she speaks now. “It’s not your fault, you didn’t know what was going on. You can’t blame yourself, it was an accid—”

“No!” Wonwoo shouts, his voice coming out strangled and wounded, like he’d been screaming for hours and he had gone hoarse. “It’s my fault! If I wasn’t here, if it weren’t for me—” he clamps his hand over his mouth, his shoulders shaking violently.

There’s a cold hand on his shoulder and he glances up, eyes wide and pupils wavering to see the calm lines of Yunhee’s face.

“Don’t try to find blame in this,” she says quietly. “It won’t do you any good Wonwoo. Or you could end up like your father.”

His body goes slack in surprise for a split second at the words, before his features crumple altogether. “Why, why,” he chokes out. “Why didn’t you tell me this earlier. The years of secrets, the lies, the—”

“Wonwoo, we’re sorry,” his grandfather is the one to speak this time. “You were traumatized by the incident and you didn’t even remember it. We could never tell you the truth, not when you were so young. We hesitated for so many years, we wondered if we should tell you at all. Your father never wanted the truth out.”

“But it’s been too long, too overdue,” Yunhee sighs. “Gwangjin has been the most haunted by all of this, especially the secret he worked so hard to keep from you. We know he hasn’t been a good father to you... but he hasn’t much time left. You don’t need to forgive him Wonwoo, but for his sake please talk to him. This is a part of both of your lives that needs proper closure. This can only be done through the truth, which is why we’re telling you this.”

“I...” The words are lost at the tip of his tongue, and the empty feeling in his chest doesn’t cease— it only seems to grow bigger.

It’s like he’s standing before an expanding bottomless void, dirt crumbling at the edges of the cliff and tumbling into the darkness. One step forward and he’d go free-falling, spiraling down to the depths of nowhere. A part of him wants to jump. But then he hears someone behind him, calling his name, and he knows he needs to turn back around.

“Wonwoo, whatever you feel right now must be complicated,” Yunhee whispers. “But please know that your mother loved you very much.”

The back of his eyes burn, his body is still tremulous, and all Wonwoo can do is lifelessly nod his head at this woman’s, his grandmother’s, voice.

Still, he can’t find it in himself to utter another word.

***

For the first time in weeks, Mingyu finally gets a break.

He slumps into his room with a sigh. He hasn’t been back at Celestial Agency in so long, having been stationed at earth for over a month now.

He didn’t even realize how exhausted he was from work until he entered this room.

“Home sweet home,” he muttered sarcastically when he first stepped back on Celestial Agency soil. But now that he’s in his little dorm room, he feels a little more at peace.

Every inch of the room was covered with his drawings and sketches, all on creamy all-purpose artist’s paper, or some heavy card paper. Some of the artworks had splashes of colour, bold and bright strokes of oil pastel and pencil crayon, while others were dreamy and light with watercolors. There were also many drawings strictly in pencil or ink.

This part of Celestial Agency was really the only thing that made him feel like he was more at home now.

He kicks off his shoes at the doorway, hangs up his bag and crawls onto bed without even changing, ready to take the longest nap ever.

Out of a force of habit he pulls his phone out of his pocket and flicks it on— this is how he’d always fall asleep on earth. But Mingyu frowns in realization, that right, phones and the internet weren’t really a thing in the agency, and they used altogether different equipment to access Celestial Agency’s database in case they needed to search anything up.

Mingyu frowns, and begins playing phone games that don’t require any Internet. After a couple minutes he gets bored, and goes to his photos instead.

He should probably clear these...

After all, he’s been told that every time he gets assigned to a new position on earth, he gets a new phone number, as he’s not supposed to have any further contact with his old “clients” as they’re called. Most vespers he knows just wipe out their phone with every job, but something in him refuses to delete all the photos and videos he took or were sent to him during his time with Wonwoo and his friends.

Something painful and raw tugs at his heart as he begins scrolling through the images from the top.

He has a lot of pictures he took at different restaurants and cafes he visited. He also has many selfies with Seokmin and Seungkwan— Mingyu didn’t even hang out with them that much, but when they did hang out, they would take a million pictures together. Hansol would opt out for most of them, but he’s there a couple times too.

There’s some pictures of Junhui here and there too. Mainly though, there was an excessive amount of Soonyoung in his camera roll— particularly because the guy would never miss a chance in snatching his phone and spamming it with blurry selfies. Mingyu can’t help but grin when he scrolls through all the derpy, double chin, nostril flared selfies he took. He lets out muffled giggles into his pillow.

Ironically enough, Wonwoo is the least present in his photos. Mainly because he didn’t really like having pictures taken of himself and would always shy away from them. Often, he’d pull up his little hands to hide his face, refusing to show himself for whatever reason— and it was sometimes bothersome (when he didn’t want to get into group photos), yet also painfully cute... at least to Mingyu.

In fact he even ends up finding a picture where Wonwoo is hiding his face. It was when they were about to eat dinner together and Mingyu was particularly proud of the steak he’d made that night and went to snap a photo of it. Wonwoo was sitting right across, and knowing he’d be in the shot, he immediately pulled up his sweater-covered hands to hide his face. The oversized sweater sleeves drooped down and uncovered his small blank wrists as Mingyu snapped the photo— and ok, forget the steak — it didn’t even matter in comparison to how damned cute Wonwoo was in the photo.

He knows he must be staring all stupidly gooey and fond at his glowing phone screen about now, but he can’t help it. It’s all Wonwoo’s fault.

It turns out through more intense scrolling, that Mingyu can find a grand total of two selfies he has with Wonwoo. One was with Soonyoung at some café they visited, and one was from his surprise birthday.

That photo in particular, other than a few candid shots he had, was one where Wonwoo looked the most loose and relaxed. His hair was all attractively mussed, and he was obviously a bit tipsy if his pink tinged cheeks were anything to go by. He was leaning his head slightly against Mingyu with a smirk of a smile, and honestly, how could someone be that attractive and beautiful? It was unfair and doing stupid things to his heart, even now as he’s scrolling through old photos. How pathetic of him.

He has to admit though, his favourite photo here was still that one with confetti cutely atop of Wonwoo’s messy dark hair, that Minghao took and graciously sent to him.

Well fuck . It really wasn’t the best decision to get trapped in all these memories again. He should’ve just gone to take a nap like he’d planned.

But Mingyu simply can’t seem to stop himself now the he’s started, and keeps scrolling.

And it’s only for a short second, but he immediately frowns as his eyes catch a group of gray, blank looking photos, and he stops mid scroll. What was that again? He scrolls back and stops in the section that caught his eye.

“Oh right,” he mumbles out loud. He’d forgotten he took these at all.

They were photos of sketches from Wonwoo’s ‘mystery sketchbook’ as he liked to call it.

He took the pictures without really asking Wonwoo, but it was in case he wanted to look back into the issue again. Or if he thought of another possibility or answer surrounding the book. By having these photos, he could easily pull them up for reference if he ever needed to. Well too late for that. He should probably delete these as they were useless now.

Mingyu lets out a tired scoff, and turns to lay on his side.

He starts at the first sketch and begins looking through them again.

And it’s just like the first time he looked at these drawings— his stomach still churns uncomfortably at the sight of them. The rivers and waterfalls, the wide fields, a young Wonwoo laying in tall grass... they shouldn’t be so discomforting to look at, yet for some absurd reason they were.

His fingers stop swiping at the sketch of the galaxy— or at least the artist’s creative rendition of it. The drawing came to life with countless of stars dotting space, comets flying across, inky planets with their rings and moons, and swirls of dust streaking across the vast page.

Mingyu breathes slowly, his stomach tightening even more, and god— did he eat something weird today? He slowly lowers the phone screen, still lying on his side. He blinks in the dim glow of lamplight and his eyes land on the pages of artwork plastered across from him on his gray walls.

In particular, he fixates on the oil pastel and watercolor piece he made a long time ago. “The Cosmos” he had titled the drawing. It had stars and planets and moons all etched in with dark black oil pastel. Overtop was a rainbow watercolor wash— filled with hues of reds and blues, purples and pinks.

Mingyu blinks hard at the drawing, his brain suddenly trying to remove the distracting and beautiful colours from the artwork.

Something felt off...

He slowly gets up from his bed and makes his way towards the wall of artwork. With a heavy gulp, he holds up the phone, the drawing of the stars still on the screen and glances back and forth between his art and the one in the photo.

Instantly, his throat goes dry.

They weren’t identical, but they were so eerily similar. The streaks of the comets, the swirls of patterns and dotted stars and moons. The way the shapes and strokes of the lines mimicked one another... it was too much to be a coincidence.

Goosebumps rise all the way from the back of Mingyu’s neck down to his arms. He shudders and stumbles backwards till he hits the edge of his bed.

His brain is spinning as he turns around his room, eyes frantically scanning all his drawings. Why did he draw so much nature? So many meadows? So many rivers and forests?

He careens forward, ignoring the pain that comes with knocking his foot against his desk. He simply grits his teeth and pushes past his chair, to stand in front of one of his sketches. It’s one of his rougher and older ones that he’d nearly forgotten about. 

His heart drops the moment his eyes land on it.

The foreground of the drawing was a rocky landscape, and there was a silhouette of a person (supposedly himself) standing on the rocks, looking out into what seems to be a ravine. A waterfall rushed before the person, and trees and plants surrounded the edges of the waterfall and rocks.

Mingyu remembers when he first drew this. It was after his very first class of earth’s geography, in his second year of vesper training. It was when he saw the images displayed in class, of the rocky shores, wide plains and canyons, and towering mountains, that he was so taken away, and inspired. He told himself as he drew, that one day, he was going to find and see many beautiful waterfalls on earth.

With a shaky hand, Mingyu slowly brings up his phone again and begins swiping through the photos, before he freezes on the exact one he’s looking for.

He can’t stop the gasp escaping his lips at what he sees.

It’s identical .

The sketch from Wonwoo’s book is the exact same as his old art—the only difference being that there was no silhouette of a person in it. It’s the exact same location... a location Mingyu always believed he imagined up on his own after class.

His hand falls limp to his side and he lets his phone fall on the carpet with a quiet thud, still reeling from his finding.

With his heart drumming loudly in his ears, he spins on his heel and races out his room. He doesn’t bother locking the door behind him and takes off down the hallway.

He skids on a few sharp turns but doesn’t slow down, going up multiple flights of stairs two steps at a time, until he’s eventually standing in front of looming wooden doors with a simple plaque above the handle that reads: Yoon Jeonghan.

He enters slowly, and the office is just as a he remembers it from months ago when Jeonghan told him that he was being promoted to the vesper position a year early due to his grades.

Oh how happy and genuinely excited he was back then to start work. It feels like a distant forgotten dream, looking back at it now.

His throat is scratchy and dry as he calls out, “Hello? Headmaster Yoon?”

There’s only silence, save for the continuous tick of an owl shaped clock on Jeonghan’s messy desk covered in pens and papers. In fact, it looks even more disorganized than what Mingyu last remembers. Before the desk looked like organized chaos, now it just seems like chaos chaos.

“Anyone here?” Mingyu calls out again, only to be met with more silence.

“It’s Mingyu,” he tries again, and there is still nothing.

The dim lamps that line the rare free walls of the room (the walls that weren’t covered by bookshelves) still burn, but no one seems to be here at all.

He quickly whips his head around and behind him again, before he slips past the main desk. He knows he shouldn’t be doing this, but maybe the headmaster not being here was even better for him. He could truly find what he needed.

Mingyu’s heart doesn’t cease its harsh thumping as he makes his way down the small corridor of the office. It feels a little like walking through narrow rows of shelves in a library, as there was towering bookshelves on either side of him.

He stops at a junction where an even narrower corridor opens to the left of his path, and he immediately turns onto it. He’s been here once before. When he was sure they mis-marked his exams and Jeonghan took him here to recheck the exam.

"Most of our information is in an electronic database,” he had explained to Mingyu. “But marked exams are temporarily kept here until they’re discarded, as well as other confidential information. These are what you call, student records,” Jeonghan said grandly as he gestured at the multiple silver filing cabinets before him.

Mingyu’s breath hitches as he stands in front of the cabinets now.

“K- K-” he mutters to himself as he scans the cabinets until he finds the one labelled ‘H-K’ .

With a cool touch of the metal handle to his palms, he mutters a few incantations. Of course his attempt to open the damn thing gets him nowhere— Jeonghan obviously set some kind of seal on these... it’s not as if Mingyu expected to just waltz in here and open it immediately.