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Jimin spends most of his time in the living room sitting on the couch in front of the white-framed window with his beloved yellow cactus and mobile sculpture that never seems to stop moving when poked with his softest touch. When he watches the sculpture shift and ovals reposition themselves, he loses himself in time and doesn’t know if ten minutes or an hour pass. He stops staring when his stomach growls, and he stands up, knees cracking, to get some cereal. He reaches for the Cheerios box; it’s his favorite not that he remembers eating any other cereal brand. When he sits on the couch, he sees his precious calico cat burying himself in his yellow blanket. He smiles and scratches under his cat’s chin, feeling the low rumble of a pur.
Jimin spends his days reading—his favorite book is The Little Prince . He never gets tired of the book, and every time he reads the ending, he gets a little sad. He always looks forward to night, so he can sit on the roof and watch the stars dance around him. He loves the stars he can hold in his hands and which kiss his fingertips, but he also loves the stars he can see through his telescope. He doesn’t bother to look down because he knows there’s only the desert below him. When his cat starts meowing, he goes back to the couch to sleep.
Jimin doesn’t remember how long he’s lived in this house. There’s no clock and no calendar. He doesn’t remember life before this house, so he suspects that he might have been born here. Jimin doesn’t know, and he doesn’t care. He’s content with his cat and the stars.
Jimin wakes up from his nap, and he sees the sea of stars. Some stars brush against his cheeks and bops his nose. He sits up and sees his cat curled beside him. He buries his face in the cat’s fur and relaxes as he feels his cat’s slow breathing and feels the stars tap the tips of his ears. His cat starts to stretch, so Jimin lifts his face and smiles as his cat slowly blinks his eyes.
Jimin scoots closer to his telescope and peers through the lens. He scrunches his eyebrows when he sees a solid color. Jimin blinks, squints, and opens his eyes wide trying to concentrate on the image. His cat meows, and Jimin pulls back to see a blue whale. The whale is large but a lot smaller than his books describe. As the whale approaches, Jimin notices two people sitting on the whale’s head. One of them waves, and Jimin hesitantly waves back.
“Hello! I didn’t think we’d see someone else out here.” The whale is dangerously close to the house, and Jimin is afraid that if the whale lifts a fin, the house will crumble. “My name is Namjoon, and this is Seokjin.”
Jimin has never met another person out here, so he feels his back sweat. His cat butts his head against his leg, and Jimin glances down and rubs his cat’s head. “I’m Jimin. Do you want to come inside?”
Jimin is surprised that his cat quickly warms up to Namjoon and Seokjin. His cat takes turns rubbing his head along Namjoon’s arm and Seokjin’s hand. “This little guy is cute. What’s his name?”
Seokjin scratches the cat behind the ears, and Jimin hears a pur. “He doesn’t have one. I couldn’t think of anything suitable.” It felt wrong to call his cat any of the names he came up with. Strangely, Jimin feels like Namjoon understands when he nods.
“That’s probably better than what we named our whale,” Seokjin says. “He’s named Whalien.” Seokjin lets out a squeaky laugh, and Jimin smiles. “How long have you lived here?”
“For awhile now.”
Namjoon hums. “Same for us. We’ve been traveling around the world, and it takes some time to get to where we want to go. Hyung came up with a bunch of awful jokes along the way.”
“They’re not awful,” Seokjin retorts. “Jimin, what is the color of a hamburger? Burgundy.” Seokjin erupts in a fit of high-pitched cackles and repeatedly hits Namjoon’s arm. Jimin erupts into a similar fit of giggles as he covers his mouth. “Finally someone who appreciates good humor.”
Namjoon rolls his eyes, which earns him another smack. Jimin’s cat hops down and sits in Jimin’s lap. “So what places have you been to?”
“We haven’t landed anywhere yet,” Namjoon answers. Jimin furrows his eyebrows.
“How do you carry your stuff? Like your food? Do you put it in the whale’s mouth?”
“That’d be interesting and gross, but we don’t need to carry anything,” Namjoon says. The cat looks up at Jimin’s face. “Confused? You’ll understand it later.” Jimin nods reluctantly.
Namjoon and Seokjn talked of life before traveling on the whale, and Jimin was extremely curious. “After we graduated, we decided to travel around the world and enjoy ourselves. There’s a lot of expectation and responsibilities thrown at you, and there’s no time to get to know yourself, so we made time. I’m glad I’m traveling with Jin-hyung because I overthink, and I need someone to help me get out of my thoughts. Hyung’s jokes surprisingly help.”
Namjoon cracks an amused smile. Jimin reaches for his cat, and his cat licks his hand. “I knew you enjoyed my jokes.”
“What other stuff do you guys talk about?” Jimin asks.
“We talked about happiness,” Seokjin starts. “I’m not the best at what I do. I have to work extra hard to be recognized, and it feels like the only thing that matters is the end product and not my effort. Does that mean I have to be unhappy before then? That sounds ridiculous to me, so I work hard while trying to be happy along the way. It brings me happiness when I bring a good mood and make others laugh. It’s like, hey, there’s this friend I care about and I’m bringing them joy. To phrase it in a different way, I make myself smile when I make someone else smile.”
“This idea sort of struck me,” Namjoon continues. “I care more about what others think of me rather than what I think about myself. I don’t want to live like that. I want to live firmly as myself. I thought I’d be happier if I learned not to care about other people’s opinions. I mean, I feel like that’s the right way to think, but there’s more to my happiness than that. This train of thought centers a lot about myself. It’s like it’s me versus the world, but Jin-hyung has gotten happier making people laugh. I need to be happy with myself, but I can also achieve a different type of happiness with others. I need both types of happiness.”
Jimin nods his head and brings his cat into a hug. Somehow, it feels like Seokjin and Namjoon’s words soothe and stab him in his gut, but that’s weird. Jimin doesn’t know why he feels this way. He’s never had to struggle in this house. His cat watches Jimin curiously, and Seokjin gives Jimin a sympathetic smile.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to understand it now.” Jimin nods his head.
There’s a bedroom Jimin never uses and offers it to Seokjin and Namjoon for the night. Jimin sits on his couch with his blanket wrapped around him, and he reaches for his mobile sculpture. Jimin softly touches one of the ovals, and the sculpture moves; the relationship between each oval completely changes. Jimin softly touches his cactus and brings his hand back. He stares at the spot of blood forming on his finger. Like before, Jimin feels a stab in his gut, and he doesn’t know why.
Jimin looks up and finds Seokjin standing in the doorway with bed hair. Seokjin walks closer and sits on the couch. “Are you afraid?” Jimin instantly nods. Seokjin places Jimin’s hand into his own and carefully places a Mario-themed band aid on his finger. The band aid is a little tight, but Jimin doesn’t mind. “It’s not a bad thing.”
Jimin isn’t sure what Seokjin is talking about. He hasn’t understood what Seokjin and Namjoon were talking about for awhile now, but he’s sure he’ll understand it later. Seokjin moves his hand through Jimin’s hair, and Jimin feels his eyes droop.
When Jimin opens his eyes, he discovers Seokjin, Namjoon, and the whale are gone.
…
The following days are the same as always, but Jimin can’t help but feel like something is wrong. He decides to ignore the problem, but the next day Jimin wakes up to a drawn out whistle. He sits up and parts the curtains to see a train traveling quickly. The head of the train passes, and Jimin tries to see how long the train is; he can’t see the end. Jimin glances down at his cat and stands up. He makes his way to the roof.
Jimin can’t see the beginning or the end of the train, but he does see two people running on the train’s roof. Then they’re jumping, and Jimin feels his breath escape as his back hits the roof. “Oh shit, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?” Jimin blinks the stars out of his eyes and focuses his sight on the frown and furrowed eyebrows above him. Then he notices the outstretched hand and hesitantly grabs it. “I’m sorry. I saw your house, and I wanted to say hello. I didn’t mean to run you over.”
“It’s fine,” Jimin says even if his head hurts. “My name is Jimin.”
“I’m Hoseok, and this is Yoongi-hyung.” Jimin glances behind Hoseok. Yoongi nods his head and glances down to see Jimin’s cat sitting at his heel. Jimin smiles; his cat looks happy lately.
Jimin invites Hoseok and Yoongi inside and offers them water and the couch. Jimin briefly watches the train pass through the window. “How long can you stay here until the train leaves?”
“The train won’t leave without us,” Yoongi replies. Jimin scrunches his eyebrows and feels a familiar confusion creeping up. He ignores it for now.
“What are you doing on the train?”
“We’re traveling,” Hoseok says. “The train has really good food and comfy seats. Even the bathroom is sparkly.”
“The last visitors I had didn’t need to eat,” Jimin replies. Hoseok hums but says nothing. “How long have you been traveling?”
“For awhile now. We’re going to stay on the train until the last stop. Hyung accepted an offer to play the piano for the whole trip.” Jimin’s eyes widen as he turns to Yoongi.
“That’s so cool.” The older shrugs and sifts his fingers through the cat’s fur. “I’d love to hear you play, but I don’t have a piano.”
“You already heard me play.” The cat watches Jimin, and Jimin makes eye contact with his cat. Yoongi gives a small, comforting smile. “You’ll understand it later.” Jimin nods reluctantly. He’s confident he’s the only one in the room who doesn’t understand. Yoongi digs his hand in his jeans pocket. “How about we play a card game? I’m tired of only playing with Hoseok.”
Jimin quickly learns that Hoseok is terrible at lying. “Take the pile, hyung.” Hoseok huffs and drags the cards towards him. He frowns when he sees he has half the deck in his hands. His only comfort is Jimin’s cat in his lap. “Your face says it all.”
Yoongi snickers, and Hoseok pouts. “This is why you always lose.”
“Not always. You somehow find a new way to cheat every time.” Hoseok sticks his tongue out at Yoongi who shrugs with a smug face. Jimin smiles and turns his gaze at the butterfly design on the back of the cards. Hoseok and Yoongi remind Jimin of Namjoon and Seokjin. Would they disappear without notice? He doesn’t want that. “What are you thinking about?”
Jimin snaps his head up and sees curious eyes. “I was wondering where you’re traveling to.”
“I don’t know specifically. The train goes wherever and stops at unexpected places. Sometimes we step off to look around, but we always return to the train,” Hoseok says.
“I want to do stuff with music, and Hoseok wants to do stuff with dance,” Yoongi continues. “The train takes us to places, and we think if we want to stay there or not based on our goals and desires. Sometimes we stay there for a few days, but we ultimately decide to return to the train to see more places.” Jimin nods his head.
“Are you afraid you’ll never find a good place to stay?”
Yoongi hums. “Yeah, especially in the beginning. I risked a lot getting on the train because I thought it was my only option. Then the places we stopped at didn’t suit my goals, and I thought nothing would get better. I actually thought it was best to get off anywhere and try to make it work there.”
“I couldn’t think of a future without dance, and I thought the train could be a tool to use to get to where I want. I met hyung on the train, and he showed me around. I always try to be hopeful, so I tried not to let the time waiting on the train get to me.”
Yoongi places his cards on the floor and leans back on his hands. “Sometimes I didn’t want to leave the train. Other times I couldn’t. I regret not seeing the places the train stopped at. But Hoseok was really patient with me, and I realized I wanted my journey to stay intertwined with his.”
Hoseok smiles and scoots towards Yoongi until his arm hangs around Yoongi’s shoulders. “I learned I needed to be hopeful not only for myself but for the people around me. At times, I wanted to hide, but I learned to bend rather than break. I’ll do anything to make it through. I found that over time, my hope becomes stronger; even if I lose it, I give it time to come back, and it always comes back.”
Jimin gives Hoseok and Yoongi the unused bedroom, and Jimin lies on the couch and listens to the train rumbling outside. Then he starts to dream. Jimin quickly sits up, and the first thing he notices is that the ceiling has rectangular holes revealing parts of the sky. The color is a rich blue, and he feels like he can grab a paintbrush and dip it into the cloudless sky. Once he snaps out of it, Jimin turns his head around the white room. The only thing he sees is the white bed he’s sitting on and a white chair off to the side. He grabs his yellow blanket and drapes it around him like a cape and makes his way to the chair. He tentatively runs his hand along the wood. Jimin turns his head around and nothing changes. His cat, cactus, and mobile sculpture are still gone. Jimin frowns and sits on the chair. At least he has his blanket and the stars once it turns into the night.
The stars never appear, and the ceiling begins to remind Jimin of prison bars. Jimin chews his bottom lip and bounces his foot. Jimin was never good at keeping track of time, but he’s sure the stars should have appeared by now. He paces around the room and clutches the front of his blanket-cape. Jimin feels a weight expanding in his stomach and crawling up his chest. His lips form a thin line. He gulps hoping to push the weight down, but it travels up further. Jimin doesn’t know if he should cover his mouth or rip the weight from his throat. He sinks to his knees and curls up into his blanket the way his cat often does and closes his eyes.
When Jimin opens his eyes, his head is on someone’s lap, and he feels a hand softly card through his hair. He looks up and sees Hoseok who gives him a gentle smile. “Are you afraid?” They both know the answer. Hoseok hums a soft song. Jimin finds his breath slowly return to himself. “There’s no need to rush it. Give it time.”
Jimin’s heart feels warm, and he feels like crying, but he doesn’t. The train whistles, and Jimin’s eyes droop. He tries to bury further in Hoseok’s lap, knowing this comfort won’t last.
When Jimin opens his eyes, he discovers Hoseok, Yoongi, and the train are gone.
…
The following days, Jimin craves contact, so he hugs his cat whenever he can until the little creature craves freedom. “Just let me love you,” Jimin mumbles as he reaches towards his cat’s head, but the cat grabs his fingers and chews on them. Jimin pulls back and pouts while his cat saunters off somewhere else. He huffs and grabs his blanket and drapes it over his shoulders. He heads towards the roof.
Unfortunately, it’s a cloudless sunny day, and he can only stare at the desert underneath his house. Then he hears shouts from the opposite side of the roof, and he crawls over and peers down to see a rainbow blob steadily rising. Jimin scrambles back until he bumps into his cat who walks in front of him and stands firm. The blob of color rises, and Jimin’s jaw drops as he realizes it’s a giant balloon. Then the basket rises into his eyesight, and he sees two people adjusting the flames until the basket lands on the roof.
“We thought we’d stop by to say hello. I’m Taehyung, and this is Jungkook.” Jimin’s cat paws at Taehyung’s legs, and Taehyung picks up and cuddles the cat. Jimin pouts; that little traitor… “Are we bothering you?”
“No!” Jimin shakes his head. “I actually wanted some company. Do you want to come in?”
Just like Jimin expects, his cat seeks attention from Taehyung and Jungkook. His cat finally comes back to his side after Jungkook lifts the cat’s front paws and forces him to dance. Jimin reassuringly pets his cat’s head. “Did you come from somewhere nearby? I’ve only seen desert so far.”
“It’s been ages since we left town. We don’t know where the nearest town is either,” Jungkook says. “The wind changes direction and strength all the time, so it’s hard to tell how far we traveled.” Jimin understands; sometimes he thinks his house stays in place because his surroundings look the same. “This helps us to pass the time.” Jungkook pulls out a pair of speakers and a phone from his hoodie pocket. He presses play, and Jimin feels the bass blast into his heart.
Jimin laughs and takes Taehyung’s offered hand. His body seems to move on its own, falling into familiar movements. He glides his feet in a way that lets his body remain in place, moves his shoulders back and forth, and places his fingers in his jeans pockets. He slightly messes up, but his body automatically continues. The first words hurt and soothe Jimin’s heart. By the last chorus, his eyes are watering, and he stops to laugh as Taehyung sings with dramatic hand movements and Jungkook belts a high note for too long.
Jimin pretends his tears are from his laughter, and he wipes his eyes with his sleeves. Taehyung pulls Jungkook and Jimin onto the couch, and they catch their breath. Taehyung grabs the pitcher and pours a cup of water for Jimin who chugs it down. “That’s a nice song. What’s it called?”
“Tomorrow,” Taehyung supplies. He smiles softly like he knows how much the lyrics pull Jimin’s heart. Jimin looks down and makes eye contact with his cat who watches him curiously. Jimin picks up his cat and places him in his lap. He scratches behind his cat’s ears until he hears a pur. Jimin looks to his left and sees Jungkook nodding off. Taehyung kicks his legs.
“So,” Jimin begins before the two can fight. “Why are you traveling together in a hot air balloon?”
“I’d be lonely traveling by myself, and Jungkook was heading towards the same place as me.” Jimin is reminded of Hoseok and Yoongi, and he knows what direction the conversation is going.
“What problems do you run into?” Jimin asks.
Taehyung glances at Jungkook who nudges his side in encouragement. “Sometimes I think I’m bringing Jungkook down. He has the potential to fly high, and I feel like I’m holding him back. No matter how much I practice or want to improve, I can’t seem to match Jungkook’s progress. The way I think, move, and behave are different from other people; my body has its own pace, and no matter how much I try to get my pace to change, it stays the same.”
Jungkook looks down and wrings his fingers. “I learn quickly, but I also don’t know if my pace is good enough. It’s been a difficult journey, and the only option I have is to go up. I want to get to a higher place, but I’m not good enough yet. It feels like I’m doing a lot, but I’m standing still.”
“Both of us have improved since the start of our journey. Sometimes I think if Jungkook traveled on a hot air balloon by himself, he’d be much higher already. But there are things only I can bring. We made sure that if we’re going to get higher, we’ll do it as a team. I’d pick being in a team over a solo journey any day.”
“Jimin-hyung,” Jungkook says. Jimin startles, and then focuses on Jungkook’s serious eyes. “Have you made some progress in your journey?” Jimin hesitantly nods. “Then it’s fine. You don’t need to rush from point A to point B.”
Jimin gives Taehyung and Jungkook the unused bedroom, but he thinks it’s not necessary. Their eyes know, and their smiles are warm. Jimin tidies up the living room with his cat following his footsteps. He waters his cactus and dusts his mobile sculpture. He folds his yellow blanket and places it on the couch. He places his books back on the shelf.
Jimin enters the unused bedroom and sees no one inside. He makes the bed and closes the curtains. His cat jumps on the bed and softly meows. Jimin smiles and gently holds his cat’s head close to his own face. “Take care of this place. I’ll miss you.” His cat licks his nose, and Jimin’s eyes crinkle. He pulls his cat in for a hug, and perhaps he could stay like this for another day, but he knows his cat wouldn’t like it.
Jimin walks away, and his cat follows him only to the living room. Jimin makes his way to the roof and looks down. Past the stars, he can see the familiar desert. A star kisses his fingertips, and Jimin moves his gaze to his Mario-themed bandaid. He turns around and sees the roof only has the stars and his telescope. He lets out a shaky breath and leans back.
Inside the house, the calico cat sits on the couch and raises his head as the walls shake. The water jumps out of the pitcher, books fall from the shelf, and cereal spills onto the floor. The window is open, and the curtains dance around. The cat transforms into Jimin, and he looks around with a grin. The mobile sculpture swivels, and the cactus shakes back and forth. Jimin turns around and peers out the window. He sees Jimin falling.
Stars fly through Jimin’s hair and kiss his skin. He stretches his arms out and shifts his body until his head points downward. Every layer of stardust he dives through makes the ground clearer. He soon sees that it was the sea and not the desert underneath him. He smiles and closes his eyes.
When Jimin opens his eyes, he sees Hoseok smoothing his blankets and fluffling his pillow. Jimin sits up, and Hoseok whips around. “Did I wake you up?” Jimin croaks out a no and massages his throat. “I thought I should let you sleep in.”
Jimin shakes his head and leaps off his bed. “I’m going to practice. I want to see everyone else.” He runs his fingers through his bed hair and pauses to check that there is no Mario-themed bandaid on his finger. His smile is warm, and he quickly walks past Hoseok and says, “I call dibs on the bathroom.”
Hoseok pouts and says “It’s my turn to use it first today” as the bathroom door closes.