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"That's problematic," said Roy.
I still faced away from him, hiding my forlorn face with blonde bangs.. "Indeed," I agreed.
I bit my tongue to keep back the endless words I could offer him, waiting patiently for his reply. Finally I couldn't take it any more.
Breathing through my mouth to avoid sniffling like a crying child, I spoke.
"Perhaps we were better off not knowing each other. Maybe we get along for small periods of time, but in the end our lack of common interest will always remind us that- "
His words interrupted mine. "I mean, we honestly just wanna fuck... Is this a healthy option?"
My body swayed back and forth ever so lightly and I placed a hand on the mahogany table for balance that he'd never give me; that we could never give each other. I stayed silent for a moment or two, chewing over my words carefully.
"Perhaps not." I paused. "I don't have all the answers. I wish I did. If you'd rather stop speaking to me altogether, I would neither blame you nor be angry," I finished, mentally commending myself on sounding so adult. It was almost like I was some unfeeling computer. But I had to be like that lest Roy get the offhanded impression that I cared more that I preferred to let on.
Suddenly Sheska popped her head into the office. "Everything alright in here? I thought I heard crying..."
My aurulent eyes gleamed. "You have the perfect timing..." and I ran to her, engulfing my not-quite-friend in a hug, inhaling her sweet scent and laying upon her soft bosom to listen to the calming heartbeat.
She grinned and returned the hug. "Oh? How so?"
Sighing, I let my eyes slowly trail up to meet her concerned ones. "This bastard," I said sharply, jabbing a finger in Colonel bastard's direction, "is breaking my heart. He's telling the truth. I wish he wouldn't."
Her expression softened, moiuth slightly part in contriteness. "I'm sorry. That's tough. Clearly you deserve a better man." Upon the last sentnce she glared at Roy with an emotion somewhere between the type of anger you defend a child with and disappointment.
I gently touched an automail pointer finger to her chin, guiding her attention back to me. I defended Roy, because as much as we don't get along that is my one true love...if only because I know I'll never find anything remotely similar. "It's alright, Sheska. I suppose I always knew, subconsciously, that we weren't meant to be together. It's not his fault we have differences. Hence why he is dating Riza and not me."
I took her hand and led us out of Roy's office for a while, as he had been silent for far longer than I deemed necessary. He might just have teken my diplomatic words to heart. Obviously he didn't want to talk, so we wouldn't talk. I promised myself not to speak until spoken to, as much as the agony ravaged my insides every single day.
As we walked, Sheska asked me, "Were you dating or just talking?"
I shook my head vehemently, not wanting to speak candidly of something so personal, even to this sweet stranger. "Its a long story, one I don't care to discuss at the moment. Suffice it to say, we have history."
The two of us were far from Roy's office, when suddenly the thudding of those god-awful plastic military boot came around from behind us.
"Wait! Wait, Ed!" The raven haired colonel finally caught up to Sheska and I. Panting heavily, a wild desperation danced in his once familiar eyes, and I looked upon him in disapproval.
"What do you think is the best answer?!"
Here he stood, hunched over, hands on his knees, a shadow of his former greatness which I for so long idolized, begging me for the answer he should have had. I scoffed lightly, holding onto Sheska's hand.
And I walked away.