Work Text:
The holidays had always been one of Erin Gilbert’s favorite times of the year. She came from a family that celebrated Christmas with gusto, and although her relationship with her parents had been somewhat strained since childhood, the habit had stuck with her well into her adult years. The past few years, however, had been particularly lonely, especially around the holidays. She hadn’t had many friends while working at Columbia, and the few people she was friendly with didn’t celebrate like she did. So she channeled her efforts into decorating her classroom instead, and while her students appreciated the whimsy Christmas just didn’t feel the same when she was on her own.
This year was different though. For the first time in what felt like forever she had a group of friends to call her own. A family as Holtzmann had put it just a few months ago right after they had saved New York City. She was looking forward to decorating the firehouse from top to bottom and celebrating with her new family. Her spirits had been up for weeks, but her real secret weapon was her decorations. For years she had collected Christmas decorations, from lights and baubles to garlands and wreaths, and this year she fully intended to bury her lonely memories in festive colors.
Unfortunately what she had not foreseen was being temporarily kicked out of the firehouse for the whole holiday season.
“Remind me why we have to relocate?” Erin huffed to Abby as she packed up her most important books and papers. It was a huge hassle trying to figure out what to bring along while they were in a different location, and it was beginning to dampen her holiday spirit.
“Erin, we knew when we moved into the firehouse that it wasn’t ideal for the work we do. It’s a great building, but it needs some modifications. Don’t you want that whiteboard wall we talked about? Goodness knows we need some more safety precautions for what Holtzmann does at the very least,” Abby replied, holding up her PKE meter to inspect it for dust before packing it carefully into a box. “The mayor’s office was kind enough to offer to fix this place up for no charge during the holidays, and still pay our salaries. Don’t kick a gift horse in the mouth.”
“Abby, that’s not—oh, never mind,” Erin shook her head.
“We’re likely to be lighter on busts during the holidays anyway,” Abby continued as though Erin hadn’t even spoken. “It won’t kill us to work out of the restaurant again temporarily.”
“Right,” Erin grumbled, her mind working overtime with thoughts of what ghosties and ghoulies could pop up during the holidays. Hadn’t Abby ever read A Christmas Carol ? “Sure thing Abby.” She knew she should be grateful to the mayor for the arrangement but she couldn’t help but think that this was a less than ideal time to kick them out of their newest digs. Not that there was any time that would be good.
There was a sudden thump as Holtzmann came sliding down the fire pole with an overflowing box clutched under one arm. ‘It’s only a matter of time before she really hurts herself on that thing,’ Erin thought, trying not to stare too hard as the engineer juggled the box lightly in her arms.
“I need too much Abs,” Holtzmann said with a pout. Erin swallowed heavily and looked away, focusing on anything but the shape of her mouth. She heard her set the box down by the quickly growing pile of things she wanted to relocate. “I can’t leave any of my babies behind with those people from the mayor’s office. I don’t trust them. And how am I supposed to fit everything in that tiny room? A fourth of that tiny room?”
“We did it before and we can do it again,” Abby said, a note of finality in her tone. “Honestly, you people act like it’s the end of the world. We stopped that from happening, remember?”
Almost on cue Patty came into the room grumbling about having to leave some of her books behind and Abby threw her hands into the air in frustration.
*****
Settling back into the little room above the restaurant was just as hard as Erin expected it to be. The four women had grown accustomed to working together in close quarters at the firehouse, but there was always room to go their separate ways when tempers got too high.
Here they were practically in each other’s faces at all times. It made Erin wonder how they had done it for so long. In the beginning it wasn’t so bad, but soon they were griping at each other constantly, and it didn’t take Erin long to realize that Holtzmann was catching the brunt of it from all of them.
“Where are my markers?” She had asked one afternoon, rifling through all the drawers in her desk. It had been a particularly keyed up day, with two busts having already happened that morning, and her and Abby grumbling at each other after Erin said ‘I told you so’ about how many calls they had been getting. She pulled one of the drawers completely out of the desk and dumped it on top, sifting through her things. She started out irritated at the disappearance of her markers, and now she was more irritated that she had to put everything back in order after she was done looking. “I can’t find them anywhere.”
“Oh, sorry,” Holtzmann piped up from where she was hanging their proton packs up. Erin’s sat on her workbench for inspection after some ectoplasm had gotten into the works and gummed something up. It had begun smoking toward the end of the bust, forcing her to fall back which only soured her mood more.
Holtzmann reached into the pocket of the coat she had abandoned in a chair as soon as they walked in the door and pulled out a handful of dry erase markers. “My bad. I was looking for a stapler earlier and accidentally nicked them. Speaking of, you probably need a new stapler.” She handed them over with a wink but jumped when Erin slammed them down on the desk.
“I have asked everyone in this room not to go through my things,” she said, fighting to keep her voice level. “I have a system, and I would rather not have to waste time searching for my belongings in my own desk.” Holtzmann nodded silently, her eyes wide. “Thank you,” Erin huffed, sitting down heavily at the desk. She couldn’t focus now, especially with the thick silence that hung over the room after her small outburst.
Holtzmann returned slowly to her workbench, slipping her tinted glasses down over her eyes and quietly beginning to work on the proton pack. Erin’s proton pack. The sight of her sitting there looking so small and working diligently to fix something that Erin had helped break made her feel terrible, but now she didn’t know how to make things right.
The next day Erin brought her a tube of her favorite flavor of Pringles and even though Holtzmann smiled at her Erin noticed with more than a little guilt that she had given her desk a wide berth ever since.
It didn’t take Holtzmann long to return to normal though, and Erin thought that she had forgotten the incident until just a few nights before Christmas. Erin had been sneaking her boxes of decorations in for a few days, cramming them under her desk until she barely had any leg room left. She intended to make an excuse to stay late and decorate so when the other ‘Busters came in the next day they would be surprised, but to her chagrin they all seemed to have the same idea about a late night.
Everyone was working quietly and for a while Erin thought that maybe they had managed to put aside the tension for the holidays. The thought cheered her. She had begun to worry that their frustration with each other was going to put a damper on the Christmas spirit, and that was making her feel worse than anything. Until…
“Holtzy!” Patty exclaimed, jumping suddenly to her feet. A nudge from Holtzmann’s elbow had sent a small bottle of acid spilling over some of her papers and smoke was steadily rising from the freshly burned hole. Erin winced at her tone of voice, knowing that while she had every right to be upset she had spread her research out way too close to Holtzmann’s workspace. All of them knew by now that settling in too close to Holtzmann was a mistake, something that disappointed Erin a little as she had discovered during their time together that she enjoyed being close to the engineer.
“My acid!” Holtzmann cried, scrambling for the little bottle. She grabbed it with her bare hands and hissed when the acid came into contact with her skin. She capped the bottle meticulously despite the burn and then moved away to the sink.
“I’m going home,” Patty grumbled, closing her book with a snap and gathering up her undamaged papers. “Holtzy, you know I love you, but a person needs their space!” She breezed past Holtzmann, who kept her head resolutely down as she rubbed her fingers gently under the stream of water.
“I think I’m going to turn in for the night as well,” Abby sighed, carefully making her way through the maze of books and gadgets that had quickly accumulated in the small room. “It’s getting late and I can’t focus anyway.” She stopped in front of Erin, who was staring across the room at Holtzmann’s hunched shoulders as she stood silently at the sink.
“Oh,” she said after a moment, realizing that Abby was waiting for her. “I think I’ll stay for a while. I need to make some progress on this project and you know how badly I focus at home.”
“Okay, but don’t freeze,” Abby said. “It’s supposed to get really cold tonight and you know they refuse to leave the heat on for us here. Goodnight Holtz.” Holtzmann made a vague humming noise as she sat back down at her workbench.
“Be safe!” Erin called after the retreating figures of Abby and Patty, who was still audibly grouching about acid and her books as they made their way down the stairs.
Erin bent back over her work and tried to refocus herself with little success. As she stared at the page she found her mind wandering, and for a while she couldn’t figure out why she was struggling to concentrate until she realized. There were no sounds coming from Holtzmann’s workbench. The room was too quiet.
Erin looked up, wondering if Holtzmann had dozed off at her bench again, something that had happened multiple times in the past and wouldn’t surprise her in the slightest. Instead she was sitting with her back turned to Erin. She was slightly hunched over and more still than Erin had ever seen her before. Concerned, she got up from her desk and approached her quietly.
“Hey,” she said, rounding the workbench so she could see her face. She was staring down at her hands and there was a little red welt across her fingers from where she had grabbed the acid. “Oh Holtz, you’re hurt.”
“Hmm?” Holtzmann asked absentmindedly, looking up like she had just realized Erin was still there. “Oh, no, I’m fine.” Erin noticed that her face was a little blotchy, and she sat down next to her at the bench.
“You know Patty didn’t mean anything by it, right?” She asked, hoping that she was guessing correctly at what was wrong. Usually Holtzmann had an uncanny ability to dismiss conflict with ease, but ever since relocating to the restaurant she seemed to be struggling.
“It’s okay,” Holtzmann said in a tone that indicated to Erin that it was indeed, not okay.
“We should wash that burn,” Erin said, deliberately changing the subject. “And then I was thinking about decorating. Well, I was planning to decorate the firehouse, so I actually have way too many decorations for this little place…” She trailed off, looking around the small room.
“I already washed it,” Holtzmann said with a badly concealed sniffle. “Wait, decorations? Like fairy lights?” She perked up but after a moment looked back down at her hands. “I dunno. I think I’m already getting on everyone’s nerves as it is. I don’t think I should push it.”
Erin felt a surge of guilt at her words, remembering her own short temper in the past week. Being in such close quarters with the engineer did make it quite hard to concentrate, for Erin especially, who found her gaze straying across the room to her more than was appropriate. Not to mention Holtzmann worked best when she was blasting her music. Erin was strongly considering getting her a good pair of headphones for Christmas.
“Come on,” she said, gently pulling Holtzmann up and leading her over to the makeshift first aid station they had set up in her honor the last time they worked out of the restaurant. She pushed on her shoulders to make her sit and rummaged around until she found the burn ointment. She rubbed some on the small welt, barely catching a wince from the engineer as she carefully covered it in a bandage. She worked slowly, partially because she didn’t want to hurt Holtzmann, but also because it felt so nice to have her hand cradled in her own.
The flutters in her chest that she experienced around Holtzmann had been getting stronger recently, and while they made her more than a little uncomfortable they were also exciting. She hadn’t felt this way in a long time, and certainly not with the last few people she had toyed with the idea of dating. Phil had been the very last of these and he was far from thrilling.
“What’s wrong?” Holtzmann asked quietly, and Erin shook herself out of her thoughts, realizing that she must have been wearing a sour expression as she thought of Phil. She smiled faintly at Holtzmann.
“Nothing,” she said, smoothing the bandage down one more time for good measure before releasing the engineer’s hand reluctantly. “Feel okay?”
Holtzmann smiled warmly, holding her hand up and flexing her fingers a few times for good measure. “Never better,” she said, but after a moment the smile fell from her face. Her hands twisted in her lap as she absentmindedly fiddled with the edges of the bandage. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a nuisance.”
“Stop that,” Erin said, batting her hand away from the bandage. She didn’t think she had ever seen Holtzmann so subdued. It was a little unnerving. “And stop talking that way too. You’re fine. We’re all just irritable from being cooped up like this. We’ve been in the firehouse too long. We’ve forgotten how to coexist.”
Holtzmann smiled weakly at her. “You should go home. It’s getting late, and look, it’s starting to snow.” Erin turned in her seat to look out the window.
“Oh, it’s really starting to come down,” she said, crossing to the window so she could look out at where the snow was beginning to accumulate on the sidewalk. A smile spread across her face; snow was the perfect addition to her Christmas plans. “You should go home too Holtz. There’s no reason to stay here when you could be at home where it’s warm. You know that stingy restaurant owner won’t leave the heat on for us.” They had tried to ask him before but he refused. It wasn’t a problem until they were working late and they couldn’t feel their fingers.
Holtzmann gave her a one shouldered shrug and her lips quirked up at the corner. “I’m fine,” she mumbled, not meeting Erin’s eye.
“Come on Holtz, it’s gonna get really cold here soon without the heat. We can split a cab.”
Holtzmann shook her head again. “No, I mean…this is home,” she said, raising her head so she could stare at the ceiling. She was picking at her bandage again and she wouldn’t meet Erin’s eye. “Usually I stay at the firehouse and—well I can’t very well do that right now.”
Erin’s mouth fell open a little. Thinking back she realized that Holtzmann was always at the firehouse before anyone else. She had just chalked it up to her odd sleeping habits, but now that she was really thinking she knew it should have been obvious.
“Holtz,” she blurted, feeling a little stupid for not realizing. “You’ve been living at the firehouse?”
Holtzmann shrugged. “They gave it to us for free. There’s plenty of room, and I don’t bother anyone at night since I’m there by myself. It beats paying rent, which I couldn’t do anyway. Not that it matters. I was evicted for setting fires and annoying my neighbors’ long before I stopped being able to pay rent.” She laughed but to Erin it sounded a little bitter. “I do all my dangerous stuff there at night when Abby isn’t around to yell at me.”
“Or me!” Erin said, fear suddenly running through her at the thought of Holtzmann blowing things up alone. “Holtz, you need to come home with me.” Holtzmann’s head snapped up and Erin willed herself not to blush. She looked surprised at the offer and Erin began to backtrack quickly. “I mean, I don’t want to be too forward or make you uncomfortable. It’s just—it’s gonna get really cold in here tonight Holtz!”
“I’ve managed worse,” Holtzmann said, but she had a pleasantly surprised smile on her face. “I’m fine, really. I don’t want to put you out. But thank you E.” Her voice was so sincere that Erin’s heart broke at the thought of her staying here cold and alone. She struggled with herself for just a moment before turning and sitting heavily back down at her desk.
“What are you doing?” Holtzmann asked, her brow furrowing.
“Look, I’m not letting you stay here alone and cold this close to Christmas,” Erin said, picking up one of her markers and twirling it nervously in her fingers. “If you won’t come home and make use of my warm apartment then I’ll just have to stay here with you.”
Erin noticed a faint pink tinge across Holtzmann’s cheeks and was pleased to see that she had finally put the engineer on the back foot.
“E,” she said once she had found her voice again. “You really don’t have to do this. I’ll be fine. Please go home.”
“Don’t you want me here?” Erin asked, knowing that she was playing a dirty game but also aware that Holtzmann would fall right into it.
“No, of course I do,” Holtzmann said quickly, standing from the little stool she had been seated on while Erin took care of her hand. Erin felt a small, smug surge of pride that she had won. “But you don’t wanna be here.”
“I’m a big girl Holtz. I can make my own decisions,” Erin said, smiling as her foot brushed up against one of the boxes that resided under her desk. “Now, how about those decorations?”
*****
About an hour later they were beginning to feel the chill in the restaurant. Being on the second floor meant that the heat from downstairs had risen and warmed them for a while, but was quickly stolen away by the big windows. Snow was falling heavily now, covering everything in a thick, white blanket. Everything outside the windows felt dark and muted, but inside was quite the opposite.
“Holtzmann, hold still,” Erin instructed, fighting back tears of laughter as she tried to find the end of the string of colorful lights Holtzmann had managed to get herself tangled up in.
“Just give it up Erin, it’s hopeless,” Holtzmann said dramatically. “I’m doomed! Just plug me in and stand me up in a corner.”
Erin’s hands stilled on the lights for a moment, and then without breaking eye contact with Holtzmann reached over and plugged the string in. The lights suddenly flared to life and Holtzmann blinked against the unexpected brightness and started to laugh.
“Will?” Erin said, moving closer. “Will, are you there? Speak to me Will!”
“What?” Holtzmann asked, squinting through the lights and wrinkling her nose up.
“Haven’t you seen Stranger Things—you know what, nevermind,” Erin said, shaking her head with a faint smile. “We’ll watch it.”
Holtzmann grinned broadly. “Not if you don’t get me untangled.”
Erin laughed and stepped closer to start unwinding the string of lights. She could feel the warmth radiating off of Holtzmann and paused, looking up to meet her gaze heavily. She was smiling faintly and the lights were illuminating her face softly and reflecting off her glasses. Erin reached up and pushed them into her hair and Holtzmann squinted, making flutters come to life in Erin’s chest and then drop low into her belly. She took a deep breath and shook herself, breaking their gaze and returning to the task of unwinding Holtzmann. Soon the lights were piled on the floor at their feet and Erin looked at them instead of Holtzmann.
“We should hang these up,” she said. She hoped that it wasn’t obvious to Holtzmann how their proximity affected her. “But my hands are getting cold. Do you want some hot chocolate?”
“You brought hot chocolate?” Holtzmann asked, perking up immediately. She reached out almost absentmindedly and grabbed Erin’s hands, rubbing them between her own. Erin felt her entire body heat up and resisted the urge to fan herself. “Dr. Gilbert, it’s almost like you planned this out.”
Erin’s head shot up, panic coursing through her. “I did not,” she said quickly. “I just had it because I wanted to decorate and have a Christmas for everyone and—“ She cut off her own babbling when she saw that Holtzmann was grinning again. “Oh,” she said, realizing that she’d been had. Damned if Holtzmann didn’t know how to get to her every single time.
“I’d love some hot chocolate,” Holtzmann said softly, pulling Erin forward. Her hands were warm even though the rest of the room was cold.
“I wish we could turn the heat on,” Erin mused, desperately trying to change the subject. Now that her flush was finally fading she found herself shivering against the chill in the room. “I think they control it downstairs, but they lock everything up at night.”
“We could break in,” Holtzmann said, a little too eagerly. Erin shook her head quickly.
“No, it’s okay. I don’t think they’ll take too kindly to us staying here if we cause property damage,” Erin said, smiling faintly at Holtzmann’s eagerness.
“Are you saying I wouldn’t be a considerate burglar?” Holtzmann said, putting a hand to her chest. “Erin, I thought you knew me better than that.”
Erin rolled her eyes and looked around the small restaurant, really taking it in for the first time that week. “Where have you been sleeping?” She asked, seeing no evidence of someone actually living there.
“Oh, I have some old blankets under my workbench,” Holtzmann said casually, looking at the bench instead of at Erin. “I tried fire blankets the first night but that was a terrible idea. Fiberglass itch is no joke. But these are okay. They’re kinda scratchy, but they do.”
“Holtz!” Erin exclaimed. “That’s no way to sleep!” Holtzmann shrugged one shoulder and began twisting her necklace around in one hand uncomfortably. Erin sighed. “We need to fix this, but I don’t think we can do anything tonight without leaving the building.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Holtzmann said with a toothy grin. “Just make me some hot chocolate?” She tugged her over to the little makeshift kitchen area that really only consisted of a microwave and mini refrigerator for their leftovers. Erin snagged her bag on the way.
“Do we have any milk?” She asked, pulling the tin of hot chocolate mix from her bag. “That’s not expired?”
“Yeah, I think so—are those tiny marshmallows?” Holtzmann grabbed the bag off the table and hopped out of Erin’s reach, perching herself on the small sofa they had acquired and shoving her hand down into the bag.
“Holtzmann, those are for the hot chocolate!” Erin said, setting the tin down and following her. Holtzmann held the marshmallows up over her head. “You realize you’re sitting down and I’m taller than you anyway. Give those back.”
“Make me,” Holtzmann challenged, her mouth full of marshmallow. Her eyes widened when Erin clambered onto the sofa with her, reaching for the bag that Holtzmann moved further and further out of her reach until she was practically sitting on her.
“Ha!” Erin said triumphantly, sitting back with the bag clutched in her fist. After a moment she processed how close they were and felt herself heat up again.
“Why Dr. Gilbert,” Holtzmann said with a smirk. “I thought you would at least buy me dinner first.”
Erin’s mouth worked silently and she tried to scoot off Holtzmann’s lap, but Holtzmann placed her hands on her hips and held her firmly in place.
“Holtz,” Erin murmured, covering Holtzmann’s hands with her own and gently removing them from her hips. Holtzmann pulled away quickly, leaning back against the sofa.
“I’m sorry Erin,” she said quickly, her eyes wide.
“What? No, Holtz,” Erin said, reaching out for her again. “I was trying to hold your hands silly. What’s wrong?”
“I—I’m sorry I’m so hard to be around,” Holtzmann said quietly, her gaze downcast. Erin felt her heart sink.
“Holtz, you’re not,” Erin replied. She set the bag of marshmallows aside and cupped Holtzmann’s face in her palms. “What brought this on? I thought we were having fun.”
“I was having fun,” Holtzmann said, still not meeting Erin’s eye even as wetness seeped down under her palms. Erin brushed it away and determinedly ignored the heat in the pit of her stomach when Holtzmann shifted underneath her. “But you shouldn’t have to do this here with me tonight. You should be at home where it’s warm.”
Erin huffed out a small laugh. “It might be warm, but it’s lonely,” she said quietly. Her gaze landed on Holtzmann’s lips and she licked her own, thankful for once that Holtzmann was looking away. “I would much rather be here with you fighting over marshmallows. As long as you want me.”
“Of course I want you Erin,” Holtzmann said, looking bashful. “I just don’t want you to be cold or put out.”
“Stop saying that,” Erin said sternly. “I am banning this conversation for the rest of the night.” She leaned forward and pressed a tender, lingering kiss to Holtzmann’s forehead, wishing that she was brave enough to aim lower. “It is kind of cold, but you know what…” She clambered off the sofa and crossed over to Patty’s desk. She rooted around underneath it and emerged with a large quilt. “Jackpot. I almost forgot that Patty gets cold in the evenings.”
“She’ll be irritated,” Holtzmann blurted, looking distressed. “I don’t think we should use her things.”
“I’ll wash it,” Erin said, dumping the quilt on top of Holtzmann. “And if she wants to get angry at someone she can get angry at me. I’ll take the fall for this one. We’ve already been too short with you as it is Holtz. And I’m sorry. I truly am.” She offered up a tiny marshmallow as consolation and Holtzmann regarded her for a moment before leaning forward and taking it in her mouth.
Her lips brushed against Erin’s fingers and Erin felt herself go rigid at the sensation. The heat that had begun to gather low in her stomach flared to life again, and she clenched her jaw and backed away toward the little kitchen. Suddenly all she wanted to do was fall on the engineer and kiss her senseless right then and there, and she just barely clung to her self control.
She distracted herself with the hot chocolate, trying to think of anything but Holtzmann and her stupid, kissable face. She could hear noises coming from the vicinity of the sofa but ignored them, forcing her attention to remain on the hot chocolate instead. All too soon she was finished warming the, thankfully not expired, milk and stirring in the powder. After a generous sprinkling of tiny marshmallows on both of their drinks she picked up the mugs and turned back to the sofa, stopping dead as she took in the sight in front of her.
Holtzmann had retrieved the string of fairy lights from where they had left it on the floor and draped it across the back of the sofa. She had spread the quilt out and was sitting with her knees drawn up to her chest. She looked tiny sitting there like that and Erin smiled despite herself.
“Got room for me over there?” She asked, handing Holtzmann her mug. She took it gratefully, holding it between her hands to warm them. “You do know that quilts usually work better if you’re under them, right?” Holtzmann smiled warmly at her and shifted so Erin could throw the quilt over the two of them. The temperature in the room was really beginning to drop now, and Erin could see the snow still falling heavily outside. “Are you sure you don’t want to come back to my place?” She asked once more for good measure. Holtzmann shook her head, scooting in a little closer.
“No, this is actually kind of cozy, apart from not being able to feel my fingers or toes,” she said with a small smile. “Thanks for the drink. Too bad we couldn’t spike it. I know for a fact that Patty has a flask hidden around her somewhere too.”
Erin gaped a little but shook her head, choosing not to comment. “Careful,” she said, gesturing to the mug clutched in Holtzmann’s hands. “It’s—Holtz no!” She tried to stop her but it was too late. Holtzmann had taken a large gulp of the hot chocolate, immediately spitting it back into her cup.
“Oww,” she said, sticking her tongue out and fanning her mouth with her hand as though she thought it would help. “That’s really hot.”
“I tried to warn you,” Erin said, doing her best not to laugh. “They do call it hot chocolate for a reason.”
“Don’t laugh at me,” Holtzmann pouted. “That really hurt.”
“Do you want me to kiss it better?” Erin asked before she could stop herself. She snapped her mouth shut and looked away to avoid Holtzmann’s reaction. She could sense the grin on the engineer’s face.
“Yes please,” Holtzmann replied, and Erin could hear the laughter in her voice. When she braved looking at her again Holtzmann had turned her attention back to the mug in her hands. Erin licked her lips, debating with herself, before reaching out and taking the mug from Holtzmann’s hands and setting it on the table. Holtzmann looked over at her, brows furrowed, and Erin reached out and gently took her chin in her hand. She tilted the engineer’s face upward and pressed her lips against hers.
She felt Holtzmann gasp against her mouth and almost pulled back, but before she could Holtzmann’s hand came up and cupped her cheek. Her lips parted slightly and Erin ran her tongue first across her lips and then deeper, brushing against Holtzmann’s burned one. There was a contented sigh at the contact and Erin wasn’t sure which one of them had uttered it. It felt like both an eternity and mere seconds had passed when they finally broke apart.
“I should burn myself more often if that’s the response I get,” Holtzmann said breathlessly, reaching for her mug again as a distraction. Erin also took a cautious sip of her drink, both trying to ignore the tingling she was feeling in her extremities and beginning to wish they had spiked the drinks.
They sat side by side in silence for a moment, both sipping carefully at their drinks and trying not to brush against each other. Erin couldn’t tell what Holtzmann was thinking, but she felt like if they made contact that she would either explode or jump Holtzmann’s bones. Or both.
“So…are we gonna talk about that?” Holtzmann asked, finally breaking the silence. Erin could hear the discomfort in her voice at the prospect.
“I’m sorry Holtzmann,” Erin said, clearing her throat and setting her own mug down on the table. She started wringing her hands in her lap and instantly regretted getting rid of the mug. “I shouldn’t have—that was too bold of me and—I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” Holtzmann said quickly. She also set her mug back down and turned so she was facing Erin on the sofa. “Please don’t be sorry. Never be sorry for that.” She reached out and took Erin’s hands, running her thumbs across the backs. “Anyway, it’s not like I didn’t enjoy it.” A shy smile crossed her face and Erin looked up in surprise.
“You did?” She blurted out.
“You couldn’t tell?” Holtzmann asked, shaking her head. “For a scientist you really can be unobservant Gilbert.” She shifted, scooting a fraction of an inch closer to Erin. “I enjoyed it. A lot.”
“Oh,” Erin said, feeling stupider by the moment.
“Oh?” Holtzmann teased, making a bolder shift closer this time. She guided Erin’s arms up and around her shoulders and gently pulled her closer. “If you’re not sure, maybe you should try it again. You know. For science.”
“Right,” Erin replied, feeling a little dazed by how unexpectedly well things were going. “Right, for science.” She stared for a moment longer and Holtzmann huffed out a laugh.
“Are you gonna kiss me Gilbert, or do I have to do this myself?” Her gaze flickered down to Erin’s lips and she subconsciously licked her own.
“Right,” Erin repeated, biting her own lip as she moved in. “More kissing. For science.” She exhaled softly as she pressed their lips together again. The element of surprise was not on her side this time, and Holtzmann responded eagerly, groaning quietly as she used Erin’s waist as leverage to pull herself closer.
It seemed to Erin that she could feel every curve and detail of Holtzmann’s body even though her clothes and it flustered her more than before. She was so soft, softer than Erin was expecting. She ran her hands down her back and then back up her sides, pleased when she felt her shiver, although she wasn’t sure if it was a reaction to her or the quickly dropping temperature in the little room.
“Are you cold?” She murmured, pulling away just enough that she could speak against Holtzmann’s lips. Her eyes were still tightly closed and when she exhaled Erin imagined she could actually see her breath fog up in the chilly air. She slowly opened her eyes and grinned, nodding.
“Yeah, I am,” she admitted cheerfully. She pulled herself closer to Erin. “It’s okay though. I’ve got hot chocolate and a pretty girl to keep me warm.” Erin felt her face heat up for what had to be the hundredth time that evening and looked down.
“Holtz—I…” she stammered, trying desperately to find her words. She licked her lips and glanced up, noticing the stricken look on Holtzmann’s face.
“Was that too fast?” Holtzmann asked, pulling away and putting some space between herself and Erin. “I’m sorry Erin.”
“No!” Erin said quickly, reaching out for the engineer again. She already missed the warmth and comfort of feeling the other woman against her. “No Holtz, it’s not too fast. It isn’t too fast at all. If anything, it’s not fast enough.” She realized what she had said an instant after she spoke and clapped a hand over her mouth. Holtzmann beamed.
“Not fast enough, huh?” She asked, leaning in and pressing Erin down onto the sofa. Her hair fanned out on the cushion and Holtzmann ran a hand through it. She hovered over her and kissed her again, this time adding a generous amount of tongue. Her thigh found its way in between Erin’s legs and she gasped at the unexpected friction. She reached up to tangle her fingers in Holtzmann’s hair and felt her hand skim down her side, just barely grazing the side of her breast. Erin shivered.
“I can make faster happen,” Holtzmann whispered, reluctantly pulling away and sitting back on her heels so she could look down at Erin. “But I’m going to be honest. I don’t think either of us would want our first time to happen in a dingy restaurant. And I haven’t even taken you out on a date. What kind of gentleman would I be?”
Erin gaped at her, her brain sluggishly processing what she was hearing. She had already been thinking ahead to what might transpire between them that night, and she found herself relaxing into the sofa as the nerves that had quickly been building left her. She smiled as she finally processed Holtzmann’s words.
“You wanna date me?” She asked, resting her hands on Holtzmann’s legs. The fabric of her pants was cold, but she could feel the engineer’s body heat radiating through them. She was once again bathed in the faint glow of the fairy lights and the sight took Erin’s breath away.
“Of course I wanna date you,” Holtzmann said with a broad grin as she covered Erin’s hands with her own. “We just made out for the past ten minutes didn’t we?” Erin chuckled and nodded.
“We can still…do that, right?” She asked. She wanted to grab a good handful of Holtzmann’s shirt and tug her back down but refrained.
“Of course!” Holtzmann responded enthusiastically. She leaned down and kissed Erin soundly again, shivering as she pulled away. “You know, the best way to share body heat is through skin to skin contact.”
“Holtz, I don’t think that’s true,” Erin said, laughing a little at the engineer’s clumsy attempt at getting her undressed. “Besides, I thought you wanted to wait.” She tugged her down once more, arching against her when Holtzmann brazenly ran her hands up her sides to bury them in her hair, grazing her chest on the way.
“I do,” Holtzmann murmured against her neck, and Erin squeezed her eyes shut. “But there’s no rule saying those two have to be mutually exclusive. This suit can’t be comfortable.”
“Holtzmann,” Erin said in a slightly warning tone of voice, as much as she wanted to give in. “It’s not,” she conceded with a sigh. “But I’m not sleeping in my skivvies either. It’s too cold.” Holtzmann began to laugh and it tickled her neck. “What?”
“Skivvies,” she snorted, and Erin smacked her arm. “Okay, okay, I have some pajamas here somewhere.” She hopped off the sofa. “It’s really cold!” she exclaimed, doing a little dance over to her workbench. She tossed a bundle of clothes in Erin’s direction and retreated to the bathroom to change as well.
’T-shirt and shorts?’ Erin thought when she unfolded the bundle, dismayed at the engineer’s lack of sensible cold weather clothing. She sighed, quickly changing into the old clothes and wrapping herself back up in a blanket, the chill having seeped into her bones even in the short amount of time. After just a moment the bathroom door slammed and Holtzmann leapt back onto the sofa after flicking the lights off. The only light came from the fairy lights they had strung up around the room.
“Lemme in!” she said, tugging at the quilt until Erin lifted it up for her to join. Holtzmann immediately plastered herself against Erin’s side, her cold feet making Erin jump. “I’m never leaving this blanket burrito ever again.”
“What do you expect to do about busts?”
“Just roll me.”
Erin chuckled, wrapping her arms tightly around the freezing engineer. They were silent for a while, Holtzmann’s warm breath puffing against Erin’s neck and giving her goosebumps. She could feel her wiggling her toes as the feeling slowly returned to them.
“Erin?” Holtzmann spoke up softly, breaking the companionable silence they had fallen into. Erin hummed in response, deciding that even speaking was too much effort. “Thank you for staying with me tonight. You really didn’t have to.”
“Stop saying that Holtzmann,” Erin murmured in return. She forced her eyes open only to be met by a mass of blonde curls almost entirely blocking her vision. She tried to kiss the top of her head and ended up with a mouthful of hair instead, sputtering a little. “I wanted to stay. And I’m so glad that I did.”
“Do you think the others will be surprised by the decorations tomorrow?” Holtzmann asked, and Erin could tell from the lilt of her voice that she was getting sleepy.
Erin looked around the little room, taking in the ridiculous amount of decorations and lights they had managed to put up before they got too cold and distracted. Then she looked at the empty mugs of hot chocolate on the table, her pile of clothes on the floor, and down at the two of them snuggled close underneath Patty’s favorite quilt and began laughing. Holtzmann looked up when she felt the vibrations, her brow furrowed in confusion.
“Yes, Holtzmann,” Erin said, trying to stifle her giggles. “Yes, I think they’re going to be very surprised.”