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“Jess.” Nick sets his fork down beside his plate and clears his throat nervously. “Can I ask you a big favor?”
Oh boy. “What is it?”
“You’re not gonna like it,” he says cryptically and Jess’ eyebrows rise in surprise.
“This isn’t making me want to say yes, you know.” She teases him and takes another bite of her breakfast.
Nick takes a deep breath before letting it out in a quick exhale. “Can we not do a first dance? At the wedding.”
“What do you mean?” Jess asks with a frown.
They’ve been engaged for about four months now, and she’s finally started to get used to seeing the beautiful ring on her left hand and calling Nick her fiancé. Although she still gets a little thrill down her spine every time she remembers that she’s actually marrying this clown. That they’re really doing this. That they’re going to spend the rest of their lives together.
“It’s just-” Nick sighs, anxiously rubbing his palms together and bouncing his knee underneath the dining table. “I’m so terrible at it, and I don’t want you to look bad, especially with all those people staring at us. I don’t want to screw this up.”
“You’re not a screw up, Nick. I don’t care that you’re a bad dancer. I love you, and that includes your awful dance moves.” She smiles and takes his hand in hers. “I want to dance with my husband at our wedding.”
He squeezes her hand back and looks at her, his eyes soft with affection. “And I want to dance with my wife. But I don’t want to spend the whole time worrying about how everyone’s probably staring at us and counting all the times I manage to fuck up.”
“Oh, honey…” Her heart aches at the way his voice wavers slightly when he says it. She hates the way Nick doubts himself so much, the way he can’t seem to look past the flaws he imagines he has, the way he doesn’t seem to realize how incredible he is. He’s gotten better about it over the years, but there’s still times like this when his self-doubt rears its ugly head.
“We can still dance during the rest of the reception,” he offers with a half-hearted smile. “I know it’s a lot to ask. I know how much this means to you. I know you’re probably looking forward to it and might already have some big plan in place, but…” Nick looks down at where their joined hands are resting on the table. “It would really mean a lot to me.”
Jess bites down on her lip. She was looking forward to it. At this point in their engagement she’s waist-deep into wedding planning, constantly working and reworking her two dozen wedding related Pinterest boards and reading through the color coded binders filled with brochures, business cards, and sample photos that she inherited from Schmidt. And while she hadn’t made any actual plans for their first dance yet, there’s a whole section in Binder III with local dance studios who offer couples dance lessons and a brainstorming sheet she made to help her figure out the perfect song. It’s one of the few things she’s been thinking about since Nick first popped the question.
But this is the first thing he’s actually had a strong opinion on. Not that he’s been apathetic about the rest. They’ve done their fair share of bickering about venues and floral arrangements and invitations and a hundred other little things that come along with planning a wedding. But every other time he’s eventually caved and given in to her requests with a shrug and a lopsided smile.
She remembers what he said the other night when they were in bed. Nick had wrapped his arms around her and held her tight against his chest, her head tucked underneath his chin as he gently ran his hand up and down her back. She’d pressed her face into the soft fabric of his t-shirt and listened to the steady thump of his heartbeat, sleepy and content as she wondered how she could make this moment last forever.
“Look, Jess,” he had said, his voice hushed. “At the end of the day, the only thing I care about is that I’m married to ya. However it is you wanna get us there. It doesn’t matter it’s on the beach in the middle of February or some run down resort in Mexico or the middle of the day at the city courthouse. And yeah, I don’t wanna wear a polka dot bowtie on my wedding day, but if that’s what you want, then I’ll do it for you, Jess.”
She looks at Nick, who’s waiting for her answer with a nervous gleam in his eyes.
“Alright,” she sighs.
Nick smiles warmly at her and then closes the gap between them for a quick kiss. “Thank you.”
---
“And may I introduce, for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Miller!” Cece’s voice is a little scratchy over the speaker, but at least it’s loud enough that they can hear it from the other side of the door.
“Ready?” Nick asks with the same beaming grin he had when he saw her walking down the aisle.
Jess smiles back, her cheeks tight from the way she hasn’t stopped smiling since this whole day began. She squeezes his hand and together they push open the door to the rooftop, walking out to the cheers of their friends and family gathered at the small evening reception. Jess waves as they step towards the small crowd, grinning wide and feeling happier than she ever has before. She glances over to Nick out the corner of her eye, and he’s staring at her with this look of wonder and amazement that makes her start to tear up, even though she had promised herself that she wasn’t going to cry at the reception.
They slow to a stop and Nick pulls her into a kiss, slow and sweet with his hand cradling her jaw. Jess feels so happy that she could burst, and when Nick pulls away she can’t help the giggle that escapes her. He grins at her and rests their foreheads together, the two of them smiling at each other like a pair of love-struck idiots. She’s so caught up in the moment that it takes her a second to realize that they’re standing in the middle of the dance floor and the DJ is starting a song.
She reluctantly tears herself away from Nick. “Did we forget to tell him about the dance?”
“I told him to play this one,” Nick says with a proud little smile.
Jess’ heart stutters in her chest. “I thought you didn’t want to dance.”
“Yeah, well…” Nick shrugs. “I’d do anything for ya, Jess.”
When I’m feelin’ blue… all I have to do,
Is take a look at you. Then I’m not so blue.
“Oh, Nick…” she breathes in disbelief.
He takes a step back from her and then slowly raises his hands, forming them into chicken beaks and grinning mischievously at her. Jess laughs and ignores the tears welling up in her eyes as she mirrors him. They go through the motions of the chicken dance in slow motion, just like they did at that wedding all those years ago.
When you’re close to me… I can feel your heartbeat,
I can hear you breathing near my ear.
Wouldn’t you agree? Baby you and me… got a groovy kind of love.
Jess told herself she wasn’t going to cry, because she knew that once the waterworks started they wouldn’t stop and she’d ruin all of her makeup. But then Nick had said his vows and she didn’t stand a chance. And now this. Yeah, she’s going to need to pull out the tissues. But she can’t help it. Nick is amazing and incredible and she loves him so much.
This is the happiest day of her life.