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Jean-Luc grudgingly headed for the Replication Centre on Deck 7. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to find the perfect cot for his and Beverly’s pending offspring, but he tried to avoid the Replication Centre, preferring to grab anything he needed from the ship’s stores. Unfortunately, baby furniture was not something the Enterprise E had in storage, owing to the lack of families on board. He clutched in his hand the PADD Beverly had handed him detailing exactly which cot, changing table, and rocking chair she wanted for the baby. He sincerely hoped he could get away with site-to-site transport for all the items he would be replicating, otherwise it would take him multiple trips, and the help of Worf and Geordi – the only two Jean-Luc felt comfortable asking for help – to get it all to his and Beverly’s quarters.
Their quarters. He smiled. Even though they had started sharing quarters as soon as Beverly transferred back on board and had been married for the past 6 months, it still felt new and wonderful to finally be sharing his life with Beverly...and now a child. They knew they were having a boy, and so Jean-Luc had asked his sister-in-law, Marie, permission to name his son after her deceased son, Rene. Rene and his father, Jean-Luc’s brother, had perished in a fire 10 years ago and with their death, the Picard line would have ended with Jean-Luc. He had made provisions for the vineyard to be left to his now step-son, Beverly’s son Wesley, but until Beverly asked him if they could have a baby he had always assumed the Picard name would die with him. But now, there was hope for his family heritage to carry on with his son, and he wanted his son to have a good, strong, French name. Rene Jacques Robert Francois, named after important men in both his and Beverly’s lives.
He approached the Replication Centre with trepidation. He hoped he would get this right. Thoughtfully, Beverly had listed the exact string he needed to enter into the replicator for each item. He entered the code for the cot and watched the machine whirl to life to deposit a long, flat, cardboard box on the pad. What the Devil? Printed on the side of the box was “BABY COT”. Maybe it...springs out of the box once it’s open? Jean-Luc had little to no experience with small children, let alone with babies . The only babies he had spent a lot of time with had been Wesley when he was a baby almost thirty years ago, and Miles and Keiko’s children nearly ten years ago. He moved the heavy box to one side and ordered up the changing table. Another cardboard box with “CHANGING TABLE” emblazoned on the side. Sighing, he entered in the string of data for the rocking chair and was relieved to see an actual rocking chair appear on the pad. He quickly replicated the other items on Beverly’s list – bedding for the cot and a mobile – and surveyed the room. How do I get all of this back to our quarters? Nearby, a Lieutenant in Engineering gold was trying to hide a smile as she watched her Captain.
“Sir? Would you like a hovertrolley?” Jean-Luc turned on hearing the voice. He hadn’t realised anyone eles was in the room, but of course, it would have someone supervising in case anything went wrong. “Er, Yes. Lieutenant, I think that would be wise.” The Lieutenant entered code into her console and a hovertrolley appeared. She helped Jean-Luc to load the items onto the trolley and he was soon on his way, relieved he wouldn’t have to carry all the packages.
Back at their quarters, he unloaded the dolly and ripped open the box containing the cot. He expected some kind of springing action of the cot forming, but all he was greeted with was a small pile of wooden slats and beams, a plastic bag full of screws, a small hexagon-shaped wrench, and a slip of paper. He frowned. Now what?
Thinking the replicator must have made a mistake, He opened the next box. This one, should have contained a changing table. But instead of a fully formed, easy to unfold table, the box contained more bits of wood, a plastic pad, a bag of screws, another wrench, and another piece of paper. Jean-Luc sighed and set the rocking chair upright in the corner. At least that was easy.
When Beverly came home from her shift in Sickbay, it was to a sight she never thought she would have seen before in her life. He husband, clad in his undershirt and boxers, was fighting (and losing) a battle with some bits of wood. She cleared her throat. “Erm....what are you doing?”
“Trying to put the baby’s cot together, what does it look like I’m doing?”
“Well, it looks like you’re making a mess.” Beverly gently rubbed Jean-Luc’s shoulders. “What happened at the Replication Centre?”
“Maudite thing gave me boxes full of wood!” Beverly tried to hide her amusement. “Wood?”
“Yes. And this sheet of instructions which don’t actually instruct! What the hell is all of this?!”
“And the reason you’re in your underwear is?”
“I got hot.” Beverly patted Jean-Luc’s shoulder. “I see. Well, let me go change out of my uniform and we can try to put this thing together. Have you eaten anything?”
“No, I wanted to surprise you with the cot for Rene.”
“Hmm. Dinner first, then. Perhaps you might like to put on some clothing? Or are we dining al fresco tonight?” Jean-Luc pulled Beverly down for a tender kiss and reached for the zip on her jacket. “Perhaps you might like some help getting out of this?” He tugged the zip down and when her jacket fell open, he pulled up the bottom of her shirt and placed a kiss on her round belly. “Hello, Rene.” Beverly smiled. One thing she hadn’t expected at all was how much Jean-Luc was looking forward to this baby. “Rene has been performing acrobatics today and thinks my bladder is a punching bag.” Jean-Luc tenderly caressed Beverly’s bump “Rene, you shouldn’t do that to your Maman.” Beverly rolled her eyes.
“Right. I’m getting out of this uniform,” Jean-Luc’s eyes lit up, “Alone.” He frowned.
“Are you sure, my love?”
“Yes, because we’ll never get this cot built if you walk into that bedroom with me.”
“You may be right, but I can guarantee it will be more fun in there than putting together furniture...”
###
Three hours later and they were no closer to having a cot for Rene. Beverly was studying the instruction sheet for the fifth time. It conveniently showed drawings of what you were supposed to do along with words...but they weren’t in English or any other language she was familiar with. “Jean-Luc, what language is this?”
“I think it’s Swedish.”
“Swedish? Where do they speak Swedish anymore?”
“Not in Sweden, that’s for sure. I think there’s a planet the Swedes settled about a hundred, hundred and fifty years ago called Ikeya and they still speak Swedish there.”
“So, then why are these instructions in Swedish?”
“Damned if I know,” Jean-Luc surveyed the pieces scattered around the room. They had managed to separate the pieces for the two items of furniture and two sides of the cot had finally been put together using the funny hexagon shaped tool. He spotted a piece that was a mirror image to the one he had just attached. “A-ha! I think this piece goes on this end.”
“Hmm, if you say so.” Beverly say back on her knees and watched her husband work. She admired the way the muscles on his arms rippled as he turned the small tool and licked her lip.
“Don’t do that, Bev.”
“Do what?”
“Lick your lip like that. It’s very distracting.” Beverly grinned and licked her lips again. “You mean, like that?” Jean-Luc groaned. “Do you want me to build this cot for Rene or not?”
“Well, I had wanted you to replicate one....”
“I did. This is what it gave me.”
“Maybe you entered in the wrong code?” Jean-Luc threw down the pieces he was trying to put together. “I did not enter the wrong code. But maybe you gave me the wrong code.” Beverly frowned.
“No, I most definitely gave you the correct code.” Jean-Luc sighed. “I’m sorry, my love. I didn’t mean to snap at you.”
“Mm. I know. But maybe it’s time to ask for help? Geordi, perhaps?” Jean-Luc shook his head. “No, Beverly. I am fully capable of putting together a cot for a baby.”
“Right.” Beverly sat back on her heels and continued to watch her husband struggle with the pieces to the baby’s cot. She soon grew bored and gravitated over to where the pieces for the changing table had been placed and she began to try to look at the pieces objectively. She knew what the changing table should look like in her head, so why not try to figure out how the pieces went together?
They worked in silence for another two hours before Beverly cried out in joy. “I think I’ve done it, Jean-Luc! I think we have a changing table!” Jean-Luc looked up from the pieces of the cot. He thought he might have nearly cracked it. He glanced over at Beverly and grinned. “My love, I think you have it together backwards.” Beverly surveyed her handiwork. “Oh.” She began to take it apart. “Still, if I managed to get it together this way, I’m sure I can put it together the right way....”
Jean-Luc took a step back from the completed cot and reached for the mobile of starships and rockets Beverly chose and attached it to the side of the cot. “Beverly! I did it! We have a cot for Rene!”
Beverly put down the pieces she was trying to put back together for the changing table and came over to where her husband was proudly beaming over the cot. “Oh, Jean-Luc, it’s beautiful. It’s perfect!” She drew him in for a kiss and when he opened his mouth, she deepened the kiss. She fumbled for the bottom of his undershirt so she could pull it off and she flung it in the direction of the cot. It landed on the mattress and the bottom suddenly fell out of the cot and the sides fell down. Jean-Luc surveyed the damage and rubbed his head. “Merde.”