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The team had just gotten back from a mission wherein Sara took the opportunity to seduce one of the security guards at the place where they were breaking into. The rest of the team headed to bed after an exhausting day while Sara retreated to the Library to go over anything and everything they might’ve found out about Mallus. That was when none other than Leo Snart walked in, disrupting her work.
“You know they were easier ways of sneaking us in that didn’t involve sleeping with the guard,” he pointed out.
“Yeah, but where’s the fun in that?” she smirked.
“You know I’ve heard about some other ‘fun’ you’ve had on the job, the Queen of France, Salem witch trials, an agent of the Time Bureau, that Alex Danvers from Earth-38.”
“Your point?” she asked as she looked over the papers they recovered.
“My point is that’s quite a long list of one night stands for only one year. Most people have one night stands here and there with actual relationships in between. You, however, seem to only do the one-time thing, which from what I’ve seen typically means that you’re working through something. Care to talk?”
She turned her head toward him and stared at him with daggers in her eyes.
“No,” she replied firmly, setting the papers down as she headed out of the Library.
“You know running away only makes me think that you do have issues you need to talk about,” Leo mentioned as he began to follow her.
“I’m not running. I’m walking.”
“Same thing. Look I heard about how you lost your sister not long before this whole sleeping around thing began. And I also heard about how you used to be a bit of a wild child. It’s one thing to reminisce about the good old days when your sister was still alive but regressing back to that, it’s not healthy.”
“I’m sorry, sleeping around? Are you calling me a slut?” she asked indignantly, coming to a stop in the hallway.
“No. No, of course not. What I am saying is that these one night stands aren’t the most responsible course of action. Firstly, you’re the captain of this team. You’re supposed to be the mature one, the one who sets the example for the others to follow. Second of all, sleeping with people from all across time, especially back before safe sex was invented isn’t doing yourself any favors. I mean aren’t you the least bit concerned about STDs or even getting knocked up by some duke of sandwich?”
“First of all I’ve never slept with a duke, only a queen. And second of all, my sex life is none of your business. So stay out of it,” she growled.
“Look I’m just worried about you.”
“Worry about someone else,” she snarled.
“Sorry. Can’t do that. I joined up with this team for the most part to help you all with your personal problems and I can’t exactly do that if you keep blowing me off.”
“Are you always this annoying?”
“No, typically I’m quite charming.”
“I’ll believe that when I see it,” she said trying to walk away once more.
“Look Sara-” Leo said as he grabbed her arm to try and stop her.
The next thing he knew his words were being cut off by Sara’s lips on his. His eyes went wide with shock. He didn’t understand why she was kissing him. After all, she knew he was taken and it wasn’t like he was her favorite person. Then her eyes opened to meet his and she started to glare at him again as she pulled away and promptly slapped him.
“Ow! What was that for? Not like I kissed you,” he asked before noticing her face start to turn red and her eyes begin to water.
“Hey, you okay?” he asked softly.
“Just stay away from me,” she replied quietly before retreating to the room of the deceased Leonard Snart.
They hadn’t given it away to any of the new guys who joined the team. There was plenty of rooms that nobody had to take it and Sara didn’t feel like getting rid of all of Len’s things just to make room for some replacement. Sara hid everything of his away in there, feeling too much pain whenever she saw things like his parka, or his Cold Gun, or even the deck of cards they used to play with so often. The only thing of his she kept with her was his ring.
She would never admit it but sometimes when she really missed him she would drift off to sleep clutching the ring on her hand, pretending that it was a wedding ring and that they had been married. Ever since he brought up the subject of the future and what it could’ve held for them she couldn’t help but dream of different futures where they were together and happy.
Some involved them fighting side by side on the team, others included a wedding between the two of them, and on days where she let her dreams wonder beyond what even she thought could’ve been a possibility, she dreamt of them with a child or two. A nice, little, happy, loving family. Dreams of seeing Leonard Snart as a father were some of the best she had. It was one such dream that his annoying doppelganger Leo interrupted when he knocked on the door. She hadn’t even realized that she had let herself fall asleep there, lying in Leonard’s bed, wrapped in his parka, clutching their cards in her hand.
“Sara, open up,” Leo asked from the other side of the door.
“What do you want?” she asked as she answered the door.
“Nice room. Who’s is it?” he asked looking at the room that had clearly been lived in before.
“Nobody’s. What do you want, Leo?”
“I just wanted to check up on you, see how you were doing after that fight we had. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Look I’m sorry for kissing you. It was a stupid mistake and I hate myself for it, alright now just leave me alone,” she insisted as she started to close the door on him.
“You thought I was him didn’t you?” Leo asked as the door shut on him.
“What?” she asked as she reopened the door.
“The other Snart. The one who died to save the team. You confused me for him back there didn’t you?”
She didn’t respond, simply taking a step back to put distance between them.
“I’m sorry… So I take it he’s the reason behind the sexual acting out?” Leo asked earning an annoyed look from the assassin.
“Sorry. Poor choice of words. I just meant that you must have taken his death pretty hard. Were you sleeping around so much to try and get him out of your system?”
“We never slept together.”
“No? But you did care about him, though?” he asked, causing Sara to look down at the ground.
“Ah. You loved him,” he added.
“I don’t- I- I never got the chance to work out my feelings for him. He had brought it up just a couple of hours before he died and maybe I would’ve talked to him about it more after the mission was over but then-”
“Then he went and died on you. I’m sorry for that.”
“You know it’s weird. He and I were never together and yet at first when I was trying to get over him, flirting with guys just felt like- I don’t know, like I was cheating on him or comparing the other guys to him something. With girls it was easier. Girls are easier not to get confused and hurt over. So I figured if I just had enough sex that maybe I’d be able to move on better. But that didn’t work and then I tried it with some guys after a while and even now, he’s still here,” Sara said pointing to her heart.
“He’s still here in my heart and I just can’t seem to get rid of him,” she sighed.
“Then don’t. In my vast experience with losing people, I’ve learned that the people we love never truly leave us. No matter how much we may try to forget them they’re still right there with us, every day. And sure it hurts if you dwell on the loss, on the fact that they’re not here anymore. But if you dwell on what you gained from knowing them, the happy memories, the jokes you shared, the good feelings that dwelling on the positive brings, it’s not so painful anymore. Don’t get rid of him, just stop focusing on the bad and try to think about the good for a change.”
Sara gave him a weak smile before looking back up to meet his eyes.
“How’d you get to be so wise?” she asked him.
“Oh well, I knew this guy Gabriel once who was a… very good teacher,” Leo smiled sadly; no doubt someone he had lost himself.
“Guess that’s one of the good things you try to focus on instead, huh?” Sara asked him.
“Yeah, yeah it is. You think you’ll be okay?”
“Yeah I’ll be fine.”
“Good, because I’d really rather not kiss you again.”
“Because you have a boyfriend,” Sara nodded.
“Uh yeah sure let’s go with that,” Leo replied before walking away.
“Wait what’s that supposed to mean?” she asked, receiving no response as Leo kept walking.
“Are you saying I’m a bad kisser? Hey, get back here!” she insisted stomping toward him, causing him to walk faster.
“Hey!” she called out angrily.
Leo then turned his head to see Sara lobbing a knife toward him, getting hit in the shoulder before he had the chance to react.
“Ow! Well that was a little uncalled for wasn’t it?”
“First thing you need to know about women Leo is that we don’t like being judged on our kissing skills. Especially not after dredging up painful memories,” Sara replied as she walked over and yanked the knife out, causing Leo even more pain.
“Ow!”
“Keep that in mind,” she huffed before marching away.