Work Text:
Evan stared at the ground. How far up was he? Thirty, forty feet? Maybe more. It was enough to make his heart beat faster. What if he fell? What if he hurt himself and got eaten by a bear? HIs mind raced with questions, but he kept climbing. Evan wanted to see the top, to see how the world looked from a place where his worries couldn't touch him. He rested his foot on a particularly skinny looking branch, trusting that he could find a stronger foothold in a moment. As he shifted his weight to the branch, it began to crack. Evan's heart sunk as he looked down at the branch. Quickly, he grabbed onto the branches above him as the branch gave way.
Assessing his situation, he saw he could pull himself up easily and put his feet on a branch slightly above where he was now. But... while he was looking down, the thoughts came.
Why try?
Just let go.
If you let go, he thought, your mother won't have a burden for a son.
No one will notice or care. No one will cry. You could just disappear into nothingness. You could escape it all, the stares, the whispers, the laughs. God, the laughs. You won't have to remember your medicine in the mornings anymore. No one will have to see you, think about you, waste their time on hating you like you hate yourself. If you die, they can't see you for how you see yourself.
Dying will be the escape from running from the sun.
Evan looked down at the ground again.
And he let go.