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You jerk awake with a start.
Sweat glistens on your forehead as you sit upright in your bed. Your fingers curl, gripping onto the blankets with a desperately tight hold. You're shaking.
'It's just a dream,' You tell yourself as your heart beats like thunder against your chest. 'It was just a dream. You're safe.' The words quickly form into a mantra. Over and over again. Desperately trying to soothe yourself.
The figure in the bed beside you shifts and you turn your head. Through the darkness, you can see the outline of her features. She always has this slight pout when you catch her sleeping. Her lips pushed together just subtly in a way that makes your heart do terrible, lovesick things.
You hate disturbing her; but you know she would rather you did.
"Kanaya," You start, with a hand on her shoulder to gently rouse her. "Are you awake?"
It's a dumb question, but you can barely get the words out. She chirps a drowsy, unfocused noise and you give her shoulder a shake.
You watch her eyes reluctantly peel open and study you. "..Rose?" She mumbles. It takes her no time at all for her alien eyes to adjust to the darkness. She can see almost immediately the state you're in. You can almost watch the exhaustion leave her body as she pushes upright. Your heart aches and a few stray tears roll down your cheeks. "Oh, oh.." She reaches her arms out and you nearly fall into them. Your arms wrap tight around her. She feels so solid in your arms. In the best possible way.
She's a living being. One who loves you. She loves you so damn much, that even the voices of doubt don't bother. Your head pushes into her shoulder as she pulls you into her lap. You fit together like puzzle pieces and you cry. She doesn't discourge you, she doesn't try to stop you. She just holds you. She let's you get all of those awful feelings out in the safety of her arms.
You feel her soft lips press into your messy tangle of hair and hear the soft rasp of her voice against the strands. "You're safe, my love." It's a promise you know she would keep. And you would do anything to keep her safe as well.
"I luh- love you." You manage. When you were younger, you would have been embarrassed. Openly falling apart like this, to the point where you could barely speak? Unthinkable. With Kanaya.. It's different.
She demonstrates one of the many things you love about her, (Though, this may just be a trait you love about trolls in general.) and she begins to purr. This rattling, alien noise isn't ilke the soothing feline sound on Earth. It's far more insectoid in nature. It's home, though. It's home.
In her arms, you feel the darkness of your nightmares fade away. Your tears run dry as she murmurs loving, soothing nothings into your hair. Your grip starts to sag and eventually, you're just in her arms.
"Are you tired?" She asks, finally. You manage to nod. It's with some reluctance that the two of you pull away. Only enough for her to look at you in your exhausted, tearstreaked face.
You can't help yourself. A shameful murmur bubbles from your throat, leaving a soft, "I'm sorry."
Her hand comes up and cups your cheek. Her forehead leans against yours. "Never apologize."
This was not the first time you woke up like this, it wouldn't be the last. You would trade places with Kanaya, soothe her in her times of need.. Eventually, the nightmares would become infrequent. Too scared to oppose the woman you call your wife.
It's in her arms and your shared bed, you finally find a peaceful night sleep.