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Sigurd’s Ghost
Ivar wheeled into the room that he and Sigurd had once shared. The bed was just as he had left it eleven months ago. The bed had the same blue comforter on the bed with the blue and white blanket made by their grandmother Brunhild. Ivar had the same comforter and an almost identical quilt on his bed too. Sigurd’s side of the room had not change since last winter the last time that he was there. His personal effects were still in the same place and his clothes were still in his closet. It was just like Sigurd was still there. Ivar could still see Sigurd sitting at his desk writing yet another song to play on his guitar or his keyboard. Sometimes when Ivar walked into the room, he still saw Sigurd. The house was quite this evening since his mother Aslaug was working her regular 12-hour shift as a nurse. Ragnar his father was still at the high school where he was a coach. Ragnar always checked on him twice a day usually on his planning period and lunchbreak. He also prepared Ivar’s lunch and dinner as well since Ivar went to high school on line now.
The house was quiet, Ubbe and Hvitserk had went back to college the week before. Ivar was alone in the house. Ivar missed his brothers when they were not around. He even missed Sigurd. He smiled when he thought about Sigurd, he could be so annoying thought Ivar. Sigurd teased him a lot and occasionally they even fought, no different than Ubbe and Hvitserk, that latter of which hit Ubbe so hard that he knocked two of his teeth loose once. Fights or no fights, the brothers loved one another. If you picked a fight with one, you had to fight them all. They were a packaged deal.
Ivar went to the window and looked outside. It was a cold, cloudy and rainy day. Fog was developing, and it had started to get dark. It was on a day like this that his brother Sigurd had died. It was on this same day that Ivar was consigned to a wheel chair for the rest of his life.
Ivar and Sigurd had gotten out of school at 3 o’clock that day, both boys were happy because they did not have to practice for basketball due to bad weather forecasted for the area. The two boys stopped at The Burger Palace to eat. They ordered their food and sat down. They were joined by other kids from the high school. Sigurd’s girlfriend Natalie Askew joined the two of them and sat down. The three of the laughed and joked until 4 o’clock when her shift began. Natalie kissed Sigurd and clocked in to go to work. About ten minutes later, Ivar’s girlfriend Vanessa Valdez, ran into the restaurant. She was late. She looked over and saw Ivar who got up to give her a quick kiss. She quickly went to clock in, as her supervisor reprimanded her about being late. She looked over at Ivar and shrugged her shoulders. Ivar told her that he would call her after work. She said okay. They smiled at each other as Ivar left the restaurant. Ivar thought about Vanessa. He really liked her. She was smart, beautiful and sweet. She was also the first and only girl that he had ever had sex with. They had been together for a year.
Ivar and Sigurd went to their car. Ivar was driving this evening. It was getting dark and it had started to rain. The road was getting icy and slick because of the freezing rain. Sigurd had told Ivar that he could drive home if he did not feel comfortable with the road. Ivar told him no. The two boys got into the car, started the ignition and drove off. They were driving down the road when they started talking. Ivar turned the satellite radio on. He started listening to the music station. Sigurd told him to turn it on the local station for the weather. Ivar said no. The two boys started to argue, the argument escalated. Sigurd yelled at Ivar and accused him of acting like a spoiled child. Ivar explained since he was the one driving he could listen to whatever he liked on the radio. He turned to Sigurd to tell him this. Ivar only turned his head for one moment, that moment changed the boy’s lives forever. Ivar took his eyes off the road for only a split second, just long enough for the car to hit a patch of ice and go airborne. The car rolled end over end and landed by a tree. Ivar opened his eyes minutes later as he heard sirens headed in their direction. Ivar looked over at Sigurd who lay very still. He didn’t move at all. His eyes were open staring at Ivar. Sigurd needed help, Ivar tried to move but his legs would not let him, he figured that he was caught in the seatbelt and could not move his lower body, but that wasn’t it. Ivar could not feel his feet or legs, maybe they went to sleep because of the accident, he was left wonder about this as he drifted into unconsciousness.
Ivar woke up days later in the Intensive Care Unit. Ragnar, Hvitserk and Ubbe were at his side. Ivar immediately asked where was Sigurd. Ragnar looked at Ivar and calmly told him that Sigurd had been killed in the accident, his funeral had been yesterday. Ivar looked at Ragnar and asked where Aslaug was, he explained that Aslaug was at home with her mother Brunhild. She had collapsed the night of the accident and had not been the same since, she was at home under heavy sedation. Ivar started to cry, he tried to turn over in bed but was unable to. He looked at Ragnar who tearfully told him that it was something that he needed to know. Ragnar explained to Ivar that he had been paralyzed the night of the accident and that it was unlikely that he would ever walk again. Ivar screamed and cried out as his father and two brothers came to his side to try and console him. They told him that everything would be okay, that they would help him through this, they told him that the accident was not his fault. Ivar told them otherwise, yes, the accident was his fault, it was his fault that he would never walk again, and it was his fault that Sigurd had been killed.
Ivar endured months of therapy and rehabilitation before he finally came home in the early summer. Ivar still had years of rehab to endure. Everything at home was still the same, except now he was in a wheelchair and his brother was dead. Aslaug asked did he want to move to another room in the house, he said no. Ivar wheeled himself down the dark lonely hallway to the room that he and Sigurd once shared. He went into the room and looked around. Nothing had changed, not that he had expected it too. As he looked around the room, he started to cry, Aslaug came up behind him and put her arms around him.
“Ivar, don’t cry, the accident was not your fault. It was just what it was, an accident, you are not to blame, things happen, the road was icy, and it was getting dark…” Aslaug, overwhelmed with grief, quickly walked out of the room. Ivar cried as he sat there. He blamed himself for the accident that killed his brother. If he and Sigurd had not gotten into an argument, the accident would not have happened, and Sigurd would still be alive. Ivar had never told anyone about the argument that he and Sigurd had had just before the accident. What good would it do to tell anyone now, Sigurd was dead, and nothing would change this.
Ivar wheeled himself over to his bed and maneuvered himself onto the bed. He grabbed a fleece blanket and covered himself up. He lay facing Sigurd’s bed. Ivar was tired from moving out of rehab and coming home that day. He lay his head on his pillow and went to sleep. He had not been asleep for very long when he heard guitar music. The music was just loud enough that only he heard it. Ivar opened his eyes and saw his brother Sigurd sitting on the bed with his legs crossed playing a gentle melody on his guitar. Sigurd looked over at Ivar and smiled. Ivar recognized the song, it was an old Swedish folk song that Aslaug sang to he and Sigurd when they were little boys. The song spoke about the bonds of brotherhood. Ivar smiled at the specter, closed his eyes and went to sleep.