Work Text:
Severus crept silently up to the steps towards the hidden alcove on the seventh floor near the outer castle wall. No one used this area and they had found the spot in their first year, while exploring for a place where they could study together. A private place where they didn't have to put up with jeers and taunts from other students in their Houses. It was the only place Severus could imagine Lily would hide after her spectacular row with Potter in the middle of dinner. While Severus wasn't sure what had started the disagreement, every occupant of the crowded Great Hall had witnessed Lily's fury at Potter.
Pausing on the landing, Severus kept his wand on the tea tray he was levitating and fished a slender phial of liquid the colour of molten gold from his pocket with his left hand. He'd spent six months brewing the Felix Felicis and had hidden it for another six months, just waiting for a chance to speak to Lily. Carefully loosening the cork, Severus poured a small amount of the potion into his mouth and swallowed. It was warm and thick, Severus could feel it as it slid down into his stomach, while he tucked the vial back into an inside pocket. A feeling of confidence flowed through him and Severus took a deep breath before striding towards the alcove, tea tray bobbing behind him.
Severus slowed his steps as he rounded the corner, his breath catching in his chest as he saw Lily, her fiery hair catching the late afternoon sun, standing at the tall windows. Her shoulders were shaking and Severus could feel the magic of the Silencing Charm Lily had cast over the area. Silently, he settled the tray on to a stool in the corner and stepped forward, allowing the magic to flow over him, as warm and as vibrant as Lily was.
Buoyed by the liquid luck potion, Severus took a deep breath. "Lily?"
"Hello, Severus." Her voice was strangely flat.
Lily didn't turn around and Severus slowly approached her. "Lily, I…"
Severus suddenly found he couldn't remember his carefully rehearsed speech as Lily's magic reached out to him. The familiar warmth and quiet joy that was uniquely Lily was muted, but welcoming nevertheless. The Felix Felicis bolstered his confidence and Severus boldly stepped forward.
"If you've come to gloat, then have a go at it and leave," Lily said in harsh whisper.
"I've come to apologise," Severus took another step. "To tell you how truly sorry I am that I let my temper get the most of me that day, and how very much I miss your friendship."
Lily turned towards him, giving Severus a look at her puffy, red-rimmed eyes, and tear-streaked face. She searched his eyes for the truthfulness of his statement for several long moments as Severus struggled to remain open to her scrutiny. With an almost imperceptible nod, Lily gave him a crooked smile that made Severus' heart soar.
"Oh, Severus, I forgave you a long time ago."
Knowing it was the right thing to do, Severus took the steps necessary to reach the only true friend he'd ever had and wrapped his arms around her. Lily stiffened, but Severus held her firmly, not breathing until she sagged against him and started to cry. His arms tightening, Severus closed his eyes against the hot prickles he was feeling and murmured nonsensical comfort words into her ear as Lily cried into his shoulder. Ignoring the tears that slid uninvited down his cheeks, Severus concentrated on having his best friend near once again.
He wasn't sure how long they had stood there, Lily's sobs had subsided into quiet hiccups. Severus laid his cheek against her hair, allowing her unique fragrance, the bright citrus of her shampoo and sweet flowery scent of her perfume, surround him. He knew he would do anything for Lily, anything to make her happy. The warmth of her in his arms and the confidence of the Felix Felicis, conspired to prompt him into speech.
"Shall I hex the bloody prat for you?"
Lily laughed softly, a sound Severus had desperately missed. "Don't waste your magic, he'll still be a toe rag."
A faint tremor ran through Lily as Severus held her and he frowned. He didn't know what their row had been about, but obviously, it had genuinely upset Lily. Keeping his arms around her, Severus pulled back slightly, seeking those beautiful green eyes.
"Lily? Did Potter hurt you?"
Lily sniffled, tilting her head back. "Not physically," she told him quietly, before taking a step back.
Severus let her go, keeping one arm around her shoulders as he guided her back to the window and the waiting tea tray. He conjured two chairs from serviettes and Lily poured for them. Several of the biscuits had green icing on them, a nod to the day they were celebrating and Severus silently gave his thanks to St. Patrick.
"I'm truly sorry, Lily." Severus anxiously met her eyes. "You know I have never thought of you in that light and was disgusted with myself for saying that."
Lily put a hand on his arm. "I know, Sev. I realized long ago that you were reacting to the humiliation that James and Sirius were subjecting you to, and would never have said it otherwise."
Silently sighing, Severus gave his one and only friend a half smile. "Thank you."
Lily's eyes narrowed as she examined his face. "You haven't done anything stupid, have you?"
Severus shook his head, not even pretending that he didn't understand what Lily was talking about. "No, although Nott and Yaxley have been pressuring me, and Malfoy keeps sending me invitations to stay with him after school ends. I've already secured an apprenticeship in London, I just haven't told them."
"Oh, Severus!" Lily's face lit up with delight and she grabbed his hand. "I'm so glad!"
Severus turned his hand over and clasped hers, fragile and warm, in his larger one. He had his absolution and, no matter how much he might hate it, Severus would do anything to ensure Lily's happiness.
"What can I do to help with Potter?" Severus asked, his thumb rubbing over Lily's knuckles.
Lily let out a noise that was a cross between a snort and a sob, her hand tightening within his. "There is nothing that can be done."
"Lily, I would—"
"I know you would, Severus." Lily gave his a watery smile. "However, James has done it to himself."
Severus started to argue, but was stopped by the look on Lily's face. The determination he was familiar with, but there was a bitterness there, which Severus had never seen before on his friend's face.
"James asked me to go home with him over Easter to meet his parents." Lily looked away from him for a moment, then turning back to meet his eyes. "I had written Mum and Dad, getting permission and all. I was excited when they wrote back and said I could go, I ran down to the Quidditch pitch to tell him." Lily's eyes hardened. "James and Sirius were coming out of the changing rooms. Sirius was laughing about how angry I was going to be when I found out James' parents were actually on the Continent and had no idea that we'd be there alone." Lily's voice dropped to a whisper. "James told him it would be worth being hexed to take my virginity."
Severus gasped, his hand tightening around Lily's fingers as he realised the implications. "Bloody bastard!"
Lily gave him a bitter smile. "Exactly, but being Muggle-born, I wouldn't have known premarital sex was frowned on in the pure-bloods social circle."
"I'll kill him!" Severus ground out and made to stand up.
Lily wouldn't release the grip on his hand. "He's not worth it, Sev, besides, when I confronted him, James simply said he was also planning on asking me to marry him at the same time."
"And you don't believe him," Severus felt a renewed hope blossom in his chest.
"Not hardly," she told him, her eyes meeting his. "In fact, I told him I'd rather you took my virginity than him, because I would at least know you loved me."
Severus' heart stopped for a moment and then started again, beating rapidly in his chest. "Always, my Lily, always, but perhaps we can start out slowly and work up to that."
Lily laughed, a real laugh, Severus noted, and stood up, tugging him up with her. Severus stood and wrapped his arms around her as Lily lifted her face to him. He brushed his lips across her soft lips once before covering them with his own. A jolt of magic lanced through him as he gathered her closer, before pulling back. Lily gave him another peck on the lips, before stepping away. She looked at him through her lashes.
"I had no idea your kisses would curl my toes, Severus." Lily took his hand again.
"I'd say it was a lucky kiss," Severus told her as he reached to tuck a strand of fiery hair behind her ear. "Shall we take a walk by the lake?"
"I thought you'd never ask."