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I've been Aya for nearly a week while waiting for my sisters to finish odds and ends that I wasn't too keen to do. Grunt work I think I called it. I shake my head as I walk back into Jareia Station. The sun hasn't even risen yet. Opening the inner doors I see that the resistance leader is already here. If he left at all. Wouldn't surprise me.
I don't want to start a fight but I'm curious to know. "Do you ever leave this place?" I ask leaning over Evfra's desk.
He groans, "Do you ever do anything useful?" He counters and I roll my eyes. Part of me is insulted but I'm hoping this is just friendly banter and not a slight at my abilities.
"All the time, actually." I say smugly. He glares at me. "Now answer my question." I'm not about to let him turn this on me. Not when it looks like he hasn't slept. "Why is it so difficult to talk to me?" I ask.
He slams down what he's reading, "We're fighting a war. There's not time to squander." He fumes. For half a second I'm shocked into silence. I stare at him and my stomach tightens as I imagine him never doing anything besides work, besides deciding who lives and who dies.
His following silence annoys me. "How can you work constantly in here; see nothing but death and sacrifice?" I demand. "That's no way to live," I say softer, "If you don't find something to enjoy how do you convince yourself that all of this is worth it?"
He stares at me, really taking me in and I meet his stare with calm eyes. Whatever he sees settles him. "Fine, what have you got in mind?" He asks. I don't miss the way he closes off even as his words say the opposite.
"No, don't shut me out just because you don't like what I'm saying." I say, "Fuck sake, you're more open when you're acting like you're closed off. And this is giving me a headache trying to understand." I ramble. "So please, if you want me to really leave, now is the time." I say stepping back.
"Ryder, why do you insist on being around me" he asks, sounding as tired as he looks.
I have to stop and collect myself. "I like you, just ya' know in general and this war can't last forever." I twirl blue hair around my finger and continue, "I worry about what will happen after it's over."
I've never felt as exposed as I do now with his eyes surveying me. "Why?" He asks.
I shoo him back slightly as I sit on the edge of his desk. "First, if I'm not banned from this room call me Mira." I say, "Second, why?" I mimic. "You are cold and closed off but sometimes I get a glimmer of who you are." I think I'm failing to explain. "I push you because its then that you start to let me see part of who you are."
He crosses his arms, "So just to be clear you try to actively... piss me off because you like my honest anger?" He asks. I nod with a sheepish smile and shrug. He laughs and my stomach does summersaults. If the way he growls when he's anger is hot this is equally as addicting. "Fine, I'll give you a chance," He says at long last.
I smile wide, "Does this mean you'll actually let me see you doing something other than hate me?" I ask. He rubs his face but nods. "Awesome!" I cheer. "Give me one day and I promise you wont regret it." I say. He nods, "Great. tomorrow good?" I ask and get another nod. "See ya then." I say hopping down and waving as I leave.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I bound into Jareia Station with a light step. It's later than I meant to be but the sun has only started to rise. "Good morning," I call brightly. Evfra is at his normal place barking out orders. "You ready?" I ask as he looks towards me.
He finishes whatever it is he's orchestrating before walking over to me. "Ready." He says. Oh a man of few words, how it warms my heart. I smile before I lead him out.
We get more than a few stares and hushed whispers as I lead him through Aya towards the docks. "Where are we going?" He asks while actively glaring at anyone who tries to get too close.
If I didn't know better I'd think he's angry but I know all too well what angry really sounds like. "Voeld." I say, "also I could get used to this." I look around and usher him to the shuttle. "Just trust me."
The Angara I talked to yesterday looks shocked to see the violet skinned leader but recovers quickly. "Pathfinder, ready when you are," she says.
"We're ready." I say and follow Evfra into the shuttle.
The ride to Voeld is silent and I instruct the pilot to land at Hjara. It's still dark when we land, the Daar is quiet when we set foot on the ground. "Thanks," I say to the pilot before I turn to Efvra, "ready for a hike?" I ask. He nods and I take the lead.
Once we are out of sight of the station I turn to my companion as I walk. "So, how longs it been since you’ve been here?" I ask. We come to a near invisible path and I start to follow it up the side of a mountain.
I'm just starting to think Evfra won't answer when he sighs, "too long." Is his resolute response. "Where are you taking us?" He asks.
The cold is starting to get insistent and I use an override and push through the slight burn. "You'll see," I say.
He huffs, "Why Voeld, then?" If I turned around I think I might see him smiling.
Looking up I see that we're almost at the top "out of every world I've been on, in both galaxies, this one has to be my favorite," I say. "I love the harsh cold and that everything is covered in snow and ice." I sigh, "I only wish it was by design and not, well whatever caused the world to change."
I chance a look back at him and he is staring at me with an unreadable expression. "I was born here," he says, "I stopped seeing it beauty long ago."
"That's sad," I whisper before jumping up and grabbing the ledge and pulling myself up. "Give me your hand." I say and he takes my outstretched hand.
Pulling him up we're chest to chest and I'm thankful for the helmet hiding my flushed cheeks. "Ready to tell me why you chose this place?" He asks again.
I smile and even if he can't see me I'm sure it bleeds into my voice, "It's kind of a visual, sit with me," I say. He grunts and I rush to say, "just... why haven't you visited Voeld more often?" I ask.
He stiffens next to me and I have enough time to regret asking before he says, "At first it was painful, a painful reminder of what I'd lost."
I place my hand on his arm, "I'm sorry to drag up the pain," I whisper.
He shakes his head, "No, I've let that go. I forgot," he hesitates and stares down at my hand. "I forgot how much I loved my home." He sighs, "the Kett ruined it."
I move so that I'm sitting in front of him and take his hands. "Then see your home world through my eyes." I take a deep breath and lick my lips. "In the evening sun before the suns rays disappear the sky is an amazing hue of pinks. When it snows the world seems to still and for at least a moment I can close my eyes and feel at peace." I chew my lip as the sun peaks over the horizon. "And," I start, "when the sun rises it's a mesmerizing shade of blues and greens."
In silence we watch the sun rise fully into the sky. "The best thing about being alive is finding happiness." I struggle with my next words. "I wanted to share how I see Voeld. Most only see it as the forefront for the fight against Kett, but I see it as a future home."
Again, I'm grateful for the helmet. "Thank you," Evfra says voice strained. "I'd lost hope of ever seeing my homeland the same way again." I sit quietly and he asks, "What did you have planned for the rest of the day?"
I laugh and stand up, "Whatever you want," I say.
He nods and stands next to me he places his hand on the side of my helmet and even though we aren't touching I blush. "Show me where you'd set up a home," he says.
I inhale sharply before regaining my thoughts, "Absolutely," I say.