Archive of Our Own ^beta

When Kurt stepped off the train at the station in Lima, he was expecting someone to meet him. His hopes crashed when he realized that not only was there no one to meet him, but also that there was no message to explain why there was a delay. He decided to take a seat on a bench outside and wait; he knew that he hadn't been forgotten. Someone would come along shortly; he would find a home where he'd be loved.

"Wouldn't you like to sit inside? Maybe have a cool drink while you wait?" The station manager asked as he poked his head out the door.

"No thank you. My father will be here shortly. I don't want to make him worry," Kurt replied, straightening his shoulders as he put on his best smile. "I'll be fine."

"You let me know if you need anything. I'll be here for another forty-five minutes."

"Yes, sir. Thank you. I'm sure my father will be here any minute."

As Kurt waited, he began to daydream about what his new father would look like. Would he be tall? Would he be old? Would he love unconditionally or would he be like the last people he lived with and only want him to take care of the house and other kids? He was in the middle of imagining his life with his new father when the station manager stepped outside, pulling the door closed behind himself.

"You're still here? Why don't you come home with me, my wife will be upset if she hears that I just left you here."

"No, I'm...," Kurt's head turned as he heard a truck pull up at the curb. "Here he is now. He must have had an emergency and had no way to contact me. I'm fine now." He was standing and gathering his belongings before the engine was turned off, quickly striding toward the truck.

"I'm sorry I'm late kiddo. I had to make an emergency tow before I could leave. Let me help you put your things in the back and we'll be on our way." Kurt was shocked that someone wanted to help him, he was usually left to fend for himself.

"I-I can do it. It's fine." He lifted his bags into the back of the truck and climbed onto the seat, making sure to fasten his seat belt and close the door firmly before smiling at the man in the driver's seat.

"Ready to go home?"

"Yes sir," Kurt smiled. "May I ask you a question? I don't want to be a bother but I've been wondering something and I really want to know before I start getting my hopes up. I've had some bad experiences with other families and I really would like to know how many children I'll be looking after. I really don't mind kids, but I've had a bad string of luck with triplets lately. Can you imagine what a surprise it was for Mrs. Dawson when she gave birth to three babies, not once but twice? Can you imagine being the mother of two sets of triplets? I can. I can because I helped raise them for two years. Two years! I can't begin to tell you how much I hope you don't have any triplets in your house. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful that you asked for me, but I think that any more triplets will send me into despair." He turned his head to surreptitiously look at the man who would be his father and noticed that the bouncing of the seat wasn't completely the fault of the road they were traveling on, but to the man trying to hold in his laughter. "Oh! So you do have triplets then? I'm sure I'll learn to love them. Well probably not love them, but at least like them. They couldn't be worse than Mrs. Dawson's."

"Kurt. Kurt, calm down and take a breath before you hyperventilate. I don't have triplets at home. In fact I don't have any children at home. I hope that satisfies your curiosity?"

Kurt's sigh was so big that he was sure the windows would rattle. "Yes, thank you. Another question? What, um, what should I call you?"

"What would you like to call me? My name is Burt. Burt Hummel, but I think that's a little too formal. You can call me Burt if you'd like. Or Mr. Hummel. Did you have a preference?"

"I like Burt. I'll call you that, if it's okay with you?" He really wished that 'dad' had been an option, but he could still use it in his imagination.

"That sounds fine. Any other questions? Would you like to know where I live, or what I do for a living? Anything you're curious about? I'd like to know about you as well. I was told very little about you. I know your name is Kurt and that you're almost twelve. Other than that, I don't know anything about you."

"I would like to know about you, but I think I already know quite a lot. I'm guessing you live in Lima or just outside of it. You work in some kind of garage, or at least have a tow truck. I don't think you're married, you haven't mentioned Mrs. Hummel. If there was one, I'm sure you would have had her come to meet me when you were delayed." Kurt counted off the items on his fingers and smiled when he noticed the surprise on Burt's face. "I knew it. You can tell me more later. I should tell you about me now.

"I am almost twelve, three months until my birthday. I don't remember my parents, but I imagine they loved me very deeply. I was told they died but not how. I like to think they were thinking of me when they died, how much they loved me, how much they would miss me. I enjoy reading. I also enjoy writing and drawing. I especially enjoy drawing clothes that I'd like to own. What I'd really like is to have a family. A parent. Someone who will love me for the rest of my life, and not send me back to the children's home when I'm no longer useful to them. I'd also like a friend. Someone with whom I have things in common, someone who will share their deepest secrets with me and with whom I can share mine." He blinked his eyes, trying to stop the tears he could feel beginning to fall down his cheeks.

Burt slowly reached his hand out to Kurt, not wanting to scare him but wanting to provide some comfort. "Kurt, I would be proud to be your parent. I'll do everything in my power to help you realize your dreams, whatever they may be. For now, let's get out of the truck and go into the house. I'll show you your room and make us some dinner while you unpack and get cleaned up. You must feel grimy after the long train ride and then sitting outside waiting for me."

"Yes, that sounds really good," Kurt's smile was, for the first time he could remember, genuine.

~#~#~#~

After a shower, Kurt found Burt in the kitchen making sandwiches. He stopped just outside the doorway, watching Burt move around the kitchen, a smile on his face. Kurt cleared his throat before taking the final steps into the kitchen.

“I would have made you something to eat. I made all the meals for the Dawson’s, the Henry’s, the Lott’s, and the Fields’. That was my responsibility at all of my previous places. And taking care of the kids. So many kids.” He couldn’t stop the shudder from rolling through his body at the memories.

Burt looked at Kurt over his shoulder. “No need, Bud. I make excellent sandwiches. The best in town if I do say so myself,” he grinned as he placed a plate in front of Kurt at the table. “Sit, eat. What can I get you to drink? Milk, water, juice?” He took two glasses from the cabinet and turned to look at Kurt, waiting for an answer.

“I’ll just have water.” Kurt looked at the plate in front of him, eyes wide at the sight of a whole sandwich for himself. He was so used to only being able to eat what was left after the real family was finished. Many times he went hungry until the next meal. His mouth watered and his stomach growled at the thought of real food.

As Burt placed the glass in front of Kurt, he could see the wide eyes staring at the food. “Go ahead, no need to wait for me,” he smiled, hoping that Kurt would become comfortable enough to be himself.

Kurt reached out for half of his sandwich and took a small bite, holding back a moan as the full flavor of his bite reached his tongue. He continued eating; only stopping long enough to swallow and take sips of water. As he put the last bite into his mouth, he finally looked up and saw Burt smiling at him. He immediately felt himself turn bright red and looked down at his plate. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to eat so much. I won’t have anything tomorrow.”

“Why? Do you think this was the extent of my expertise? ‘Cuz I’m tellin’ you, I make a mean bowl of cereal. With milk and everything,” he grinned as he saw Kurt’s shoulders shake and then heard the laughter begin to surface. He reached out to place his hand on Kurt’s shoulder and gave a slight squeeze. “You can eat as much as you want, whenever you want. Tomorrow we’ll go over to the market and I’ll introduce you to Isabel and her father. Then you can get anything you want and have it put on our tab.”

Kurt tried to stop the tears in his eyes, but he couldn’t help it when he heard what Burt said. He’d dreamed of this for as long as he could remember. This feeling of belonging, of being a part of a family. Even if his dreams had included a mother and a father, he was happier than he’d ever thought possible at this moment. He pushed his chair back and turned into Burt’s arms sighing as he received his first hug from anyone, ever.

~#~#~#~

After the trip to the market, Burt showed Kurt around the little downtown area, pointing out the school, the church, the library, and his shop. As they walked from the shop back to the house Burt heard the whispers begin. He knew that it was unusual for a single man to adopt a child, but he also knew that his wife would have wanted him to share his love and home. He paid no attention to the quiet rumblings, choosing to let his actions show what he thought of the close-minded people of the town.

Kurt, on the other hand, while used to hearing derogatory things said about himself, couldn’t hold his tongue any longer. He turned around and marched right up to the last person to say something about the real reason Burt had chosen to adopt that filthy, girly-boy. “Really. That’s the best you got? You think I’m filthy? I could smell you across town. You think it’s a coincidence everyone walks on the other side of the street whenever you’re around? Your stench precedes you. Flowers close up when you come within twenty feet of them, hoping to hold on to their beauty just a few seconds more before they are killed by the smell that emanates from you.” He could feel a presence behind him, but knew that if he turned around, he’d lose any nerve he had left. If he was going to be sent away again, it might as well be on the heels of defending the kindest man he’d ever met. “Have you ever heard of soap? Or even water? Put them together and use them to clean yourself once in a while and I bet the animals you obviously live with might even believe that you’re not actually one of them.” He held up his hand as the man he was staring up at began to speak. “No, I’m not finished. I don’t think your animals enjoy spending time with you either; I know that animals also bathe. Maybe not the way humans do, but they at least roll around in puddles and get the sweat off themselves every once in a while. You, though? Nope I don’t think you’ve had a bath since the day you were born. And everyone can tell. Everyone. So please do us all a favor, either go home and take a bath before you make another appearance anywhere near people, or stay with your animals; but don’t be surprised when they start finding other places to hang out.”

He turned on his heel and began walking away, then stopped and turned around, one last thing needed to be said, “Also, I might be sent back to the orphanage because of how I just spoke to you, but it was so very worth it. Don’t say bad things about Burt, he’s the kindest person I’ve ever met, and I’ve met lots of people. Now, please excuse me if I hurry I can catch the afternoon train back to the orphanage.” He turned and continued walking in the direction he hoped would take him to the home he was regretting he lost as a result of his outburst.

Burt finally caught up with Kurt as he passed through the gate into the yard. “Kurt, hold up.” Kurt stopped on the front path, back still facing Burt, shoulders hunched but back straight. “I don’t know what got into you back there, but I heard it all. I want you to know that I’m not sending you back to the orphanage. I made a promise to you, and I intend to keep that promise. Always. As far as I’m concerned you are a part of my family. You will always be my family. No matter what.” He saw Kurt’s back begin to relax and could see that his shoulders were shaking, a movement that could only be a result of sobs. He stepped closer to Kurt and turned him around, pulling him into his chest trying to comfort the child while holding his own tears at bay.

Kurt finally pulled away long enough to wipe his eyes and take a deep breath. “Do you mean it? I know my mind and tongue get away from me and I said some horrible things to that man, but I couldn’t let him say such terrible things about you. You have been nothing but kind to me. And I had to pay you back by saying rude things to one of your friends. I understand if you hate me for it.”

“Hey, Kurt, I could never hate you. I understand what it’s like to want to protect people you care for, and I’m glad I fall into that category.” Burt could see the smile begin to come to Kurt’s face. “While I do understand the need to protect, I am disappointed that you didn’t show respect to someone you should consider an elder. No, let me finish. I’m not going to punish you, lord knows he’s needed to hear those words for as long as I can remember knowing him, but the fact remains that he is an adult, and adults should be treated with respect. No matter what they say to you.”

“Okay. I’ll try not to say anything, no matter how much I want to. But please don’t be disappointed if my tongue starts flying before I can stop it in time?”

“Deal. I have one request though, in a couple days I want you to apologize to Mr. Sutten. It’s the right thing to do, even if everything you said was true.”

“But, I don’t think I can apologize. I mean I feel bad about yelling at him, and causing a commotion in front of the town. I feel bad that what I did will be a reflection on you, but I’m not sorry for what I said. I can’t apologize if I don’t really mean it. I’m sorry if that disappoints you.” Kurt continued up the walkway, into the house and up the stairs to his room.

Before he crawled into bed, Kurt knocked on Burt’s door. “Can I talk to you? Before you go to bed?”

“Sure, Bud. What’s up?” Burt sat on the end of his bed, inviting Kurt into the room.

“I wanted to say that I think I can apologize to Mr. Sutten, but I want you to know that while I can say the words, I won’t feel them in my heart. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to like Mr. Sutten, or forgive him for what he said about you. But I’m willing to go with you and apologize tomorrow morning after breakfast. If I have to wait any longer than that I don’t think I’ll be able to muster what I need to say and convince him that I mean them.” He waited for Burt to say something, anything. “I’ll get up early and make breakfast. Goodnight, Burt.”

“Hey, Kurt? Thank you; I know how hard it is to say something you don’t mean.” He rose from the bed and enveloped Kurt in a hug, giving an extra squeeze before saying “’Night kiddo. I’ll see you in the morning.”

~#~#~#~

Kurt’s apprehension grew the closer they got to the Sutten place; he had practiced what he’d say all morning while making breakfast and washing the dishes before Burt had finally told him it was time to leave. The walk was spent in silence; Kurt practicing what he’d say one more time.

The apology went as well as Burt expected it to go, Kurt apologized for his actions, but skirted around the content of those actions. Sutten accepted the apology while also making more derogatory statements about not only Burt, but also Kurt, which incensed Burt and set him off on a rant aimed at Sutten and his activities with his animals.

The whole confrontation ended fifteen minutes after it began, both sides more upset than when the whole thing began the day before. Burt couldn’t say he was surprised with the outcome of the whole thing; Sutten had been closed-minded since he moved into the area and had alienated even the most forgiving of the residents of their small town.

Their walk home took them past the church where the pastor’s wife was tending the flower bed; when she saw Burt she stood up and approached with a smile on her face. “Burt Hummel, I haven’t seen you for the past couple weeks, I hope everything is okay? You’re not ill or anything are you?”

“No, no everything’s fine. I’ve had a lot of work to do, then with Kurt arriving I’ve had a pretty busy couple weeks.” His smile brightened his whole face at the mention of Kurt. “I’d like to introduce you to my son, Kurt. Kurt this is Mrs. Jones, her daughter Mercedes is about your age, I think. You’ll be going to school together next month.”

“Hello, Mrs. Jones. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Kurt stuck his hand out to shake Mrs. Jones’ hand and was very proud of himself when he didn’t flinch at the feeling of dirt being ground into his palm.

“Nice to meet you, too, Kurt. I’d love it if you’d come to the church picnic tomorrow. It’ll give you a chance to meet most of your classmates before school starts next month.” Mrs. Jones said.

“Oh! I don’t know, there’s so much to do at Burt’s house. I really should get started on cleaning and organizing the house. I want to have as much done as I can before school takes over most of my day.” Kurt said, trying to come up with some viable reason to not go to a church function. Ever since he’d been passed from home to home, he couldn’t really believe in something that would allow him to not find someone to love him for more than his ability to cook and clean.

“Nonsense, you’ll have fun and I just know that you and Mercedes will become very good friends. And of course with Mercedes comes Rachel. Those two haven’t been apart for more than a night since I can remember. I’m sure you’ll love them. And of course there’s Finn, Noah, Sam, and Blaine. You’ll meet them all tomorrow afternoon. Lunch is at one. We’ll see you both then.” Mrs. Jones obviously wasn’t a woman people said no to and she knew it.

~#~#~#~

Despite his best efforts, Kurt couldn’t talk Burt out of going to the picnic the next day, so they left the house at noon and walked over to the churchyard. Kurt spent so much time trying to choose what to wear from his meagre wardrobe that he had no time to worry about how the other kids would treat him until they were almost to the church.

“What if they don’t like me? Or what if they say bad things about you like Mr. Sutten did? I don’t know if I can stop myself from spouting off to protect you. And I’d like to apologize to you in advance for anything I might say that makes you mad at me.” Kurt said as his steps became slower. He really wanted everything to work out for him today, he’s wanted friends since he knew what they were, but he was never with any family long enough to try to get to know the other kids in the area.

Burt stopped walking and waited for Kurt to stop as well before he looked Kurt in the eye and said, “I know how great a kid you are, and I know that the rest of the people at this picnic are going to see how wonderful you are, too. If anyone says anything, just ignore them. Remember that I care about you, and you are my son. I will never not care about you. If things get really bad, you come find me and we’ll go home; no questions asked, okay?” After Kurt nodded, he continued “But I want you to try to at least talk to some of the kids. I know that Mercedes and Rachel will want to get to know you, and they’ll tell you everything you never wanted to know about everyone there - including themselves, if you let them. Try to have an open mind, okay? I know if you give them a chance, they’ll give you one, too.”

“Okay. I’ll try. But I reserve the right to not make friends today.” Kurt said, and opened the gate, motioning for Burt to enter ahead of him.

“Kurt! Burt! So glad you could come. Mercedes, come over and meet Kurt, the boy I was telling you about.” Mrs. Jones approached them with a smile on her face, waiting for her daughter to join her before introducing the children.

Kurt was surprised to be embraced by Mercedes and then by another girl before he could even say a word. He glanced back at Burt with a pleading look as his hands were clutched and he was led off to an area containing a number of people his own age. His classmates had obviously staked out an area they claimed as their own, and the adults around them knew not to intrude on what they saw as their turf.

Burt chuckled as he saw Kurt’s look, and gave what he hoped was an encouraging smile to Kurt before he was forced to turn around and watch where he was going before he tripped over his feet and embarrassed himself in front of the kids he’d be spending his days with in a matter of weeks.

“He’ll be fine. All the kids have been talking about how awesome he is for what he said to Steve Sutten the other day. At this point I don’t think he can do anything wrong in their eyes.” Mrs. Jones said as she led Burt over to the other adults. “Come and say hi to everyone, we’ve all missed you.”

~#~#~#~

Kurt was overwhelmed by all the kids wanting to spend time with him, Mercedes he could understand, her mom probably told her she had to be nice to him; but the others he couldn’t understand. Everyone seemed to be vying for his attention and he quickly became overwhelmed.

He took the first chance given to him to escape the group of kids. There were so many people wanting to talk to him, he needed to find someplace quiet and away from people. Someplace he could close his eyes and take in all that had happened to him in such a short period of time.

He found that place on the other side of a meadow, still within sight of the picnic but far enough away that he couldn’t hear any of the conversations. He lay down and closed his eyes watching the lights play behind his eyelids as the clouds skidded across the sky. He lost track of time as he lay there, but was startled as he heard whistling coming across the meadow, becoming louder as it got closer to him. He turned his head and opened an eye to see who would be interrupting him, and nearly choked on his tongue when he saw a cute boy strolling toward him, hands in his pockets, cap on his head.

He stared as the boy veered off towards the picnic, never looking over to where Kurt lay watching him. He took a couple more minutes to relax and calm his heart down before returning to the picnic. He should find a way to meet that guy; be neighborly.

By the time he returned to Mercedes and Rachel, the remaining food had been cleaned up and the kids were setting up for games. Kurt was immediately claimed as Rachel’s partner for all the games, even those not requiring a partner, and he had no chance to ask anyone who he’d seen in the meadow. While he and Rachel didn’t win any of the games they played, Kurt did enjoy himself and found someone he could enjoy spending time with.

Burt found Kurt with Rachel and Mercedes, sitting under a tree with their heads together laughing at something one of them had said. He was glad to see that Kurt had stuck it out and enjoyed himself. He hated to break up what was sure to be the most important conversation in the world, but they needed to head home.

Kurt saw Burt approaching and began to say goodbye to his two new friends, promising that they would get together as soon as possible. Before he could walk away, Rachel threw her arms around his neck and whispered “I’m so glad you are my friend, Kurt.” He smiled as he hugged her back.

~#~#~#~

During the next month Kurt spent as much time with Rachel and Mercedes as he could, as well as making sure that the house was kept clean, meals were ready when Burt got home from work, and the laundry was washed and put away. Despite Burt telling him to go spend time with his friends, Kurt felt that he needed to do something to help Burt out. He couldn’t go to the shop and work on the cars, but he knew how to take care of a house, so that’s what he did.

Any time he wasn’t with Rachel or Mercedes, or doing what he considered his chores, he spent writing stories in the notebooks he had ordered from the market. He had always had a vivid imagination, something that got him in trouble in many of his placements, and knew that he wanted to write novels when he grew up. He had never had the luxury of time, or paper and pencil, to write anything down, but now that he did he wanted to take advantage of it while he could. He had been told by many people that he’d never be a success at anything, and the one time he’d had the money to buy a small notebook and found a piece of charcoal he could write with, Mrs. Preston had found them and thrown them into the fire, telling him that he wasn’t to spend his time on such foolish things.

The week before school, Kurt stood in his room trying to decide what he’d wear his first day. He was muttering to himself as Burt walked by and heard “…think that I don’t have anything else. I wish I could change the style of this. It’s fine for hanging out during the summer, but for school it should be better fitting. Plus the color’s all wrong for the fall, it should be more jewel toned, maybe sapphire blue, or ruby red.”

Burt suddenly realized that his practice of buying clothes only when enough of what he had had worn out wouldn’t work for a growing boy like Kurt. He should have more clothes, things that he hadn’t gotten from the charity bins at the orphanage.

So, Burt did something he never thought he’d do, he knocked on Kurt’s door and told him that he was taking the morning off so they could go shopping for clothes. The smile on Kurt’s face was the ultimate reward, one that he would strive to see as often as possible.

They began their shopping at the market, but Burt soon discovered that what was fine for him wasn’t for Kurt. His son had very specific ideas on what he should wear and how they should fit. Luckily for Burt, Isabel was working the counter and offered to help Kurt choose a few things. Burt was sure the relief was written all over his face as he watched Kurt and Isabel pour over catalogs and pattern books looking for just the right style, color, and fit.

Three hours later they had a good variety of pants, shirts, vest, and jackets to make up numerous outfits. Burt told Isabel to write out a bill and he’d come in tomorrow to pay it. He also asked her to help Kurt find appropriate shoes and a coat for the winter.

Burt spent the rest of the afternoon at his shop doing paperwork and making sure his employees knew their schedules for the next couple weeks. Kurt spent the afternoon tackling the attic, the last room in the house he needed to clean.

When Burt got home, he was greeted by what appeared to be an empty house. No lights on downstairs, no food ready in the kitchen. As he moved toward his room, he heard a quiet whirring coming from under Kurt’s door. Curiosity won the best of him, so he knocked on the door before opening it. What he saw he wasn’t expecting, Kurt had a sewing machine set up on his desk and fabric strewn around the room.

Kurt looked up from his project, surprised to see Burt home so early. “Burt, what are you doing home? I thought you were going to work this afternoon? Are you sick?”

Burt smiled; he hadn’t seen anyone get this caught up with a sewing project since Lucy. The memories rushed through him and he couldn’t help but smile. “It’s almost seven. Time really flies when you’re involved with a project, huh?”

Kurt looked out his window, surprised that the sun was almost down. “I didn’t realize. I hope it’s okay that I brought this down to my room. I saw it up there in the attic and then I saw the fabric and this quilt was almost finished. I wanted to finish it for you. It will keep you warm this winter and remind you of your wife.” Kurt stood from his desk and started toward the hallway. “I’ll go down and start dinner, it won’t take long to get something ready, half an hour tops.”

“No need, we’ll have soup and grilled cheese; another one of my specialties. I’ll let you know when it’s ready.”

~#~#~#~

On the first day of school, Kurt donned the favorite of his new outfits, put his new notebooks and pencils in his brand new satchel and waved goodbye to Burt. He was anxious for his first day, and also excited. He met up with Rachel and Mercedes and they walked the rest of the way to the school planning where they’d hang out that afternoon.

Kurt chose a seat close to the front but in the middle with room on each side for Mercedes and Rachel. Right after the bell rang, the door opened and a student ran in, scanning the room for an empty seat. His eyes passed over Kurt to the seat immediately behind him and grinned as he moved into the seat.

“Thanks for joining us Mr. Anderson. I assume this will be the last time this year you will be late?” The teacher asked.

“Sure thing Mr. Schue. Last time, I promise.”

“Good. Now that Mr. Anderson has joined us let’s begin. I think everyone knows each other, but we do have a new student. Kurt, would you like to introduce yourself to the class?”

Kurt stood from his seat, took a breath and said “My name is Kurt, my guardian is Burt Hummel. I’ve been here for about six weeks. Um, I guess that’s all? There’s not much more to tell.” He curtsied before sitting back in his seat.

“Thank you Mr., you didn’t tell me your last name. What is it?”

“I don’t have one. You can just call me Kurt, I guess.”

“We’ll discuss this later. Let’s get started.”

As Kurt opened his notebook something tickled the back of his neck. He reached his hand back and rubbed his neck. Then he felt it again, this time followed by a puff of air. The next time he felt the puff of air it came after he heard the word porcelain whispered into his ear. He ignored the word, and tried to focus on what Mr. Schuester was saying.

The rest of the day was uneventful, nobody whispered into his ear and he discovered that he was slightly ahead of his classmates. He, Mercedes and Rachel ended up going to his house that afternoon, planning to get a head start on a big project due the next week as well as making cookies for their afternoon snack. By the time they were finished with the cookies, they were also finished with their homework. Kurt said goodbye to his friends and began to make dinner.

Burt walked into the kitchen as Kurt set the last bowl on the table. “Smells good in here, what’s for dinner?”

Kurt smiled and said “I made meatloaf, mashed potatoes, corn and a salad. I’ll make you a meatloaf sandwich for lunch tomorrow, if you’d like. Oh, and there’s cookies for dessert.”

“Sounds great; I look forward to this meal, and the sandwich tomorrow. That’s my favorite, by the way.” Burt said, then raised his fork to his mouth taking his first bite.

After dinner and clean up, Kurt went to his room to work on the quilt, then went to bed.

~#~#~#~

In the next three weeks, Kurt tried to ignore Blaine sitting behind him, but it was very difficult. Blaine enjoyed whispering into his ear, usually right before he had to answer a question. The hardest part of the whole thing was the butterflies the whispers sent to his belly. He finally hit his limit on what he could take, right in the middle of their midterm exams.

“Would you please stop doing that?” He yelled, as he stood up and turned to face Blaine behind him. “Stop blowing on my neck, stop whispering in my ear.” He could tell that his face was red, he was breathing heavily and the entire class was staring at him.

“Settle down porcelain. We can take a walk later, down by the lake. Maybe take a canoe ride.” Blaine leaned back in his chair, arms across his chest, a grin on his face.

“Never. I will never take a walk with you, or a canoe ride. Just leave me alone.” Kurt said, then turned around and sat down. He put his head down on his desk and took deep breaths, wishing he was anywhere but where he was.

~#~#~#~

Each school year Kurt tried his hardest to ignore Blaine, but as they grow older he discovered that he thought of Blaine more and more during the worst possible moments. He woke up on many mornings sweating and panting, not knowing what is happening to him.

Blaine doesn’t seem to have any of the same issues, he constantly puts himself into situations where Kurt has no choice but to interact with him. In short, Blaine drove Kurt crazy.

Not only did Blaine get under Kurt’s skin, he constantly forced Kurt to compete academically. They pass first and second place back and forth until their final semester.

Kurt finally broke two months until they are due to graduate. Mr. Schuester has asked for he and Blaine to stay after school, and has invited their parents as well.

While they waited for the Andersons to arrive, Kurt confronted Blaine. “Why have you been like this?”

Blaine was confused when he asked, “Like what?”

“From my first day of school here, you haven’t left me alone; whispering in my ear, getting in my personal space, invading my dreams.” The last was mumbled under his breath.

“Wait, what did you say?” Blaine seemed surprised to hear what Kurt said. “I don’t understand, I was just trying to be your friend. I found you compelling from the moment I saw you. The day of the church picnic? You were lying in the meadow, staring up at the sky. I wanted to get to know you, but you didn’t seem to want anything to do with me. I thought I’d be able to wear you down, but I couldn’t.” He looked Kurt in the eyes and said “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I promise I’ll leave you alone.”

At that moment Kurt wasn’t sure what was happening to him. Could what he was feeling for Blaine be reciprocated? He never thought he’d be as confused as he was at that moment. Fortunately, Blaine’s parents chose that precise moment to arrive, so any further conversation between them would have to wait.

“Thank you all for coming in. I’d like to put forth something that I think would be a good idea for both your sons.” Mr. Schuester began. “I’d appreciate it if you’d listen to what I have to say before making any decisions, or saying anything.”

He could see the curiosity on the faces of the five people sitting in front of him. He continued, “Your sons are the brightest students I’ve ever had. They are consistently first and second in class, and I think that they would be very good teachers. I have been in contact with the dean at my alma mater, there are two spots waiting for your sons in the fall, if they want them.”

“Thank you, Mr. Schuester. We’ll let you know.” Mr. Anderson stood, shook hands, nodded toward Burt and ushered his wife and son out of the classroom.

Burt looked to Kurt before adding his own thanks. “We’ll discuss this and give you an answer as soon as we can.”

~#~#~#~

The last two months of school Blaine left Kurt alone. They didn’t discuss Mr. Schuester’s offer with each other, but they did with their families. The school year ends with Kurt in first place and Blaine in second. The rankings offer Kurt a full scholarship for the teaching program and Blaine receives a scholarship covering his tuition.

“Blaine, may I speak to you? I won’t keep you long, I promise.” Kurt asked, stopping him before he could leave.

“Sure. What’s up?”

“I wanted to say that I’m going to go get my teaching certificate, and I want to thank you for pushing me to be better. If I didn’t have to compete with you I don’t know if I’d be where I am right now. So, thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Kurt. But I should thank you, too. You made me a better student Kurt. So thank you.” As Kurt walked away, Blaine said “I’ll see you in the fall.”

Kurt felt the butterflies return to his stomach as he walked away.

~#~#~#~

In the fall, Kurt settled into his rooming house while Blaine settled into his. They saw each other around campus, but have only one class together. Unfortunately that class requires them to work on a couple projects together. For sanity reasons, they call a truce and become tentative friends.

In late November, Kurt saw a notice in the student union looking for people to sing at a benefit to raise funds for the children’s’ ward at the local hospital. Kurt signed up and then sent a letter to his father to tell him all about it.

Kurt was so excited to be singing for people other than himself and his roommates, that he couldn’t keep the smile off his face. Blaine noticed and asked what made him so happy.

“I’m singing next month.” Kurt said. “At the hospital fundraiser.”

“Oh! Congratulations. I should come see you.”

“Sure, if you’d like. I can get you a ticket.” Kurt said, trying valiantly to keep his ears from turning as red as his tie.

Four days before the concert, Kurt still had the ticket he’d promised to Blaine. He found him in a corner of the library and placed the ticket next to his books. Blaine looked up from his studying and couldn’t hide the look of surprise on his face when he saw Kurt standing next to him.

“Thanks, Kurt. I appreciate it.” He said and then went back to his studying. Kurt nodded, turned and walked away.

Before he made it down the stairs outside, he heard his name.

“Kurt! Wait! I’m sorry I ignored you back there. I didn’t know how to ask you, so I thought if I ignored you, you wouldn’t be disappointed in me. But I was wrong.” Blaine tried to juggle his books while stuffing his arms into his coat. “I wanted to ask if you had an escort to the benefit?” When he saw Kurt shake his head, he continued, before he lost what little nerve he had. “May I have the honor of escorting you to the benefit concert? Maybe we could go out to dinner before, or after. Whichever works best for you.”

“Oh! Um, I’d love to, but my dad’s going to be there and I’ve already promised him we’d go have dinner after. I’m sorry, Blaine. Maybe we can go to dinner sometime next week; or after winter break, if next week doesn’t work.”

Blaine schooled his face, putting a smile in place of the broken look he didn’t want Kurt to see. “Sure, both are good. Let me know which works for you.” Blaine said, then turned around and walked back into the library. Instead of going back to a desk, he veered toward the restroom and locked himself into a stall. He really didn’t want anyone to see him try to keep the tears from falling from his eyes.

The night of the benefit, Kurt took one last look in the mirror before he stepped out onto the stage. He knew he looked his best, he always does; but he’s still nervous. What if nobody likes the song he chose? Or what if they don’t like the way he carries himself? He’s always known who he was, deep down inside of himself, but there will always be insecurity buried deep.

He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and nodded to let the piano player know that he’s ready to begin. He waited to open his eyes until he felt the music rush through his body. He knew this song. He knew that his dad was proud of him, and that Blaine will know what this song is about; even though they haven’t discussed anything of any consequence.

As the first notes left his throat, he searched for his father in the audience. He noticed the smile on his face and the way he leant forward a bit as if in anticipation of the beauty he knew was about to come. He then moved his eyes again and noticed Blaine sitting in the back, a huge grin on his face. This just became the best night of Kurt’s life.

After the concert, Kurt is swarmed by well-wishers; he’s the most popular person there. Everyone wanted a piece of him. He noticed Blaine standing off to the side, waiting his turn. Kurt tried to politely extricate himself from the group surrounding him; he needed to go over and thank Blaine for coming and to greet his father. It took him nearly forty-five minutes to finally make his excuses and reach his father.

“Dad! Thank you so much for waiting, I’m sorry it took so long to get over here.” Kurt said, stepping into the hug his dad offered. “Can you give me just one minute; I really need to speak with Blaine.” He looked around for Blaine, but couldn’t see him.

“I saw him leave about ten minutes ago. I’m sure you’ll see him during winter break, or next semester.” Burt said putting his arm around his shoulders. “What do you say we go grab a bite to eat, then you can walk me back to my hotel before heading home.”

“Okay. Let’s go, I’ve got the perfect place for dinner.”

~#~#~#~

The school year ended without Kurt and Blaine ever having dinner, or even speaking to each other outside of what is required for any classes they took together. Once again, they were in competition for top of the class. When class standings were announced in early June nobody was surprised when the top of the list contained not only Kurt Hummel but also Blaine Anderson. After years of passing first place back and forth, for the first time they have tied. Along with first place comes a four-year scholarship to New York University. Because there were two winners, and the scholarship was designed for only one person, they must share the scholarship. That meant that neither could afford to go to school without some financial help from some other source.

During the summer, Kurt discussed his options with his father, but they found no way to make up the difference. Kurt resigned himself to letting his dreams go. Instead he began looking for a teaching position close to home. Figuring that if he could live at home and keep his expenses down, he’d be able to save enough to make up the difference in a couple years. When he heard that Mr. Schuester took a position at a boarding school, he inquired about becoming teacher at the Lima School. When he learned that the position had been filled already, he’s disappointed, but relieved when he was told that the school in Westerville was also looking for a new teacher. He told the school board that he’d let them know the next day.

When he got to Burt’s shop, he found a letter from New York University addressed to him. Opening it made his decision even more difficult than he thought it would be. He showed it to Burt, who said “Well, this changes everything. You better send that back before they give your spot to someone else.”

“But, I don’t understand. How did I get the full scholarship? Blaine and I tied for first place, we had to split the money.” He asked, looking to his dad. His dad shrugged his shoulders, he didn’t understand either.

“I dunno, maybe his parents came up with another option. You could ask him, ya know; if you guys ever talked to each other.” Burt teased.

“Yeah, maybe. I don’t know how they would have, though. Last I heard from Rachel, he wasn’t going either. He was looking for a tea…” Kurt said.

“Looking for a tea what?” Burt asked.

“Hmm? Nothing. I’ll see you at home later, okay. I need to go think for a bit. Take a walk, clear my head.” Kurt hugged his dad and headed out the door.

An hour later, he’s lying in the meadow on the other side of the church, staring up at the sky. He couldn’t figure out why Blaine gave up his scholarship and took a job teaching in Lima. And why he told New York University not to hold his scholarship for him for a couple years like Kurt had. He gave up all rights to the money, knowing that they’d award the full thing to Kurt.

“You must really like the sky.” Blaine said, as he sat down beside Kurt. “It is beautiful, blue and everything, but there’s really nothing special about it. At least nothing that warrants spending so much time staring at it.”

Kurt sat up before answering. “I got an interesting letter today. From New York University. Seems someone gave up their half of my scholarship and asked for it to be given to ‘the rightful top of the class’.” He knew there was no need to tell Blaine what the letter said. “Why’d you do it?”

“I didn’t want it as much as you did. I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, you do. Why should you have to put your dreams on hold just because we both got the same grades.” Blaine stared off into the distance, not wanting to meet Kurt’s eyes. He didn’t want Kurt to pity him.

“I can’t take it Blaine. We both earned it, we both should use it.”

“Sure you can. You’ve wanted this for as long as I’ve known you. You deserve to be happy, Kurt. And I know this will make you happy.”

“But you deserve happiness, too, Blaine.” Kurt reached out to touch the back of Blaine’s hand, but pulled back at the last moment. “You took the position here in Lima, didn’t you?” Blaine nodded. “I hope you don’t give up on any of your dreams, Blaine. I know that you are bigger than Lima. I hope that you can get out, soon.”

“Thank you Kurt. I hope I can be happy one day, too.” Blaine said as he stood up. “Have fun in New York, I hope to see you succeed for many years.”

“Thank you.” Kurt whispered as he watched Blaine walk away, hands in his pockets. He smiled as he remembered the first time he’d seen Blaine walk across that meadow.

By the end of the summer, Kurt has packed his belongings and said goodbye to his friends. The morning of his departure, he stood at his bedroom window, remembering the first time he stood here. He was so scared that he would mess up and be sent back to the orphanage. He never dreamed that he’d find someone who would love him unconditionally, much less be proud to call him ‘son’.

“You about ready to go catch your train?” Burt asked from the doorway.

“Yes, I’ll be down in a minute dad.”

Kurt was just about to step onto the train when he turned around to wave goodbye to his dad one last time, when he saw Burt grab his left arm and pain cross his face right before he crumpled to the ground.

“Dad!” Kurt yelled as he ran toward the crowd now surrounding his father. “Please, someone go get help.”

~#~#~#~

Kurt sat in the lobby of the hospital waiting for any news on his father’s condition. He begged the station master to remove his luggage from the train and hold it for him at the station while he went with his father. Although it would cause a slight delay, the station master remembered Kurt from his arrival in Lima and knew how much Burt meant to him.

“Kurt Hummel?” A doctor asked as he walked into the lobby.

“Yes, I’m Kurt Hummel. How’s my dad? Can I see him? I want to see him.”

“Please come with me, and I’ll explain what’s happened with your father.” The doctor motioned toward the door and Kurt followed him down the hallway. “Your father had a myocardial infarction and is currently in a non-responsive state.” The doctor continued down the corridor while looking through a chart and making notes.

“I, I don’t know what that means. When can I see him?” Kurt couldn’t wrap his mind around anything until he saw his dad. “Please just take me to him.”

“Mr. Hummel, you need to be prepared for him not to wake up.” The doctor led him to a door and began to open it. “I’m not going to promise it will help, but it won’t hurt anything if you talk to him. Just don’t get upset if he doesn’t wake up. Heart attacks are hard on more than just the heart, the body is also stressed. I believe that once his body has had the time to rest and recover from the stress, he’ll wake up. It’ll take some time.”

Kurt walked into the room and sat in the chair by the side of the bed. He wiped his eyes and placed his hand on his dad’s; a hand that felt frail under his own. He never thought that the man who opened his home to him and loved him as if he were his own flesh and blood would be reduced to lying in a bed with no guarantee of making it out of the bed.

“Dad? I hope you can hear me. I love you. I’m glad that you chose me. Please don’t give up; hold on, rest and come back to me when you can. I won’t leave your side until you wake up and I know that you’re okay, that you’ll live to see me get married and hold your grandkids.” He rested head on the bed beside his father and closed his eyes. “I love you.”

It took a week, and Kurt stayed with Burt as much as he could, but the hospital staff wouldn’t break their rules on visiting hours. Each night he made his way home, tried to sleep for a few hours and was up and waiting for the staff to let him back into his dad’s room in the morning. The morning of the eighth day, Kurt was shocked to see his dad sitting up in bed, his eyes were open and he was talking to his doctor.

“Dad! I knew you’d wake up! I knew you wouldn’t leave me.” Three strides and he was awkwardly wrapping his arms around his dad, tears of joy streaming down his face.

“Hey buddy, I’ve just been telling Dr. Chang here that I have the best son a guy could ask for. That my son was going to school in New York, on full scholarship. And that I’m very proud of him and all he had yet to accomplish; marriage, grandbabies, novels.” Burt pulled back from Kurt’s embrace. “Did you really think I wouldn’t want to see any of that? I plan to be around long enough to spoil those grandbabies rotten and then send them home to their fathers.”

Kurt couldn’t help but laugh at what his dad said, nor could he help the rosy tint blooming on his cheeks at the unneeded confirmation that this man loved him no matter who he loved in the future. “I love you dad, but I’m not going to New York. I can’t leave you, not now when I almost lost you forever.”

~#~#~#~

It took five more days before the doctors allowed Burt to go home, with strict instructions to rest as much as possible and try to avoid stress. Kurt told his father that he would be staying home and taking care of everything while he recuperated. Burt insisted that he’d be fine and Kurt should continue as planned, go to New York, live his life.

Even though Kurt has absolutely no Hummel blood running through his veins, he proved to be just as stubborn as any Hummel in a long line of stubborn Hummels. They agreed that Kurt would defer for a semester, maybe look into taking a couple classes via correspondence.

It took less than one day for Burt to feel smothered by Kurt’s hovering. Every time he tried to walk to the next room, Kurt was there, an arm around his waist supporting him and forcing Burt to slow his steps.

“Buddy, I love you, but you’ve gotta let me move around the house by myself. The doctor said I shouldn’t overexert myself, he didn’t say I shouldn’t move at all. Give me a break; I can walk to the kitchen without help.”

“But your heart, I don’t want you to go back to the hospital. Tell me what you want and I’ll get it for you.”

“What I really want is for you to go outside and take a walk, for about an hour or so. It can’t be any fun being cooped up in this house all day. I’ll be fine, I promise. Go get some fresh air.”

“Fine, I’ll be back in an hour, but I don’t want you to do anything strenuous while I’m gone. I’ll make dinner when I get back.” Kurt said, then walked out the door.

While he didn’t see any need to go any further than the bend in the road, and only go that far because he knew his dad would be upset if he thought Kurt wasn’t getting fresh air, once he was outside he realized how much he really did need to be away from the house for a while. He chose to walk to the post office the long way which would take him across the creek on the south side of town. The creek he remembered almost drowning in four years ago. He swore would never listen to Rachel and Mercedes again, they said that he’d be fine in the rotting rowboat. He smiled as he remembered the look on Blaine’s face when he saw Kurt hanging onto one of the bridge supports. Blaine was surprised, of course, but also amused to find Kurt trying valiantly to keep as much of his body out of the water as he could while also trying not to laugh at his predicament.

Over the years Blaine had proven to be quite the rescuer. He helped Kurt into his decidedly unrotten boat and successfully brought him to shore without further incident. The only real damage was to Kurt’s pride.

He continued on his walk, passing the fence some of his classmates dared him to walk as if he were on a high wire in a circus. Kurt took the dare, made six steps and promptly fell to the ground twisting his ankle in the process. Once again Blaine helped him make his way to Burt’s garage where Kurt was pampered by all the employees until Burt returned from a call, at which point he was lectured to about the hazards of taking every school-yard dare given to him. He eventually learned his lesson, but not before a fractured wrist and more bruises than he could count.

Before he could cross the meadow behind the church, Kurt heard his name shouted. He turned around and saw both the first and last person he wanted to see after his walk down memory lane. Blaine. He knew he’d have to see him at some point, but he was hoping for a point much later.

“Hey Kurt. How’s your dad? I heard they let him come home yesterday.” Blaine asked, bending over with his hands on his thighs trying to catch his breath. Did he really have to do that? Seeing his thighs contract as they held up Blaine’s weight and the breadth of his back and shoulders juxtaposed with the trimness of his waist was enough to give Kurt heart problems to match his father’s.

“He’s fine. Not following the doctor’s orders of rest and not overdoing it, but what can you do when your parents won’t listen to you. I’m giving us a break from each other. Taking a walk, getting fresh air.” Kurt tried to make his voice not sound like he’d been thinking things about Blaine, but he wasn’t sure how successful he was at it.

Blaine stood up with a huge grin on his face. Not very successful, then. “He kicked you out, didn’t he?”

“N-No, no he didn’t. I wanted to get out of the house. Get the mail from the post office, it has been piling up.” He tried to sound indignant, but Blaine’s laughter was infectious. “Fine! He kicked me out. Said I was going to drive him right back into the hospital if I didn’t leave him alone for an hour. Happy?”

“Very.” Blaine said and looked Kurt in the eyes, before allowing his eyes to dart to Kurt’s lips. “May I join you? I wanted to show you something.”

“Sure. What did you want to show me?” Kurt asked as they fell into step together.

Blaine handed him an envelope before saying, “Don’t be mad, please. I wanted to do this for you and your dad.”

“Wha-?” Kurt opened the envelope and read the letter. “Mr. Anderson, We are pleased to accept your proposal of taking charge of the Westerville School and giving Mr. Hummel charge of Lima School. We understand the circumstances surrounding Mr. Hummel’s family and look forward to watching you mold the bright minds of Westerville. Blaine, what is this?” Kurt folded the letter and placed it back into the envelope.

“I knew as soon as I heard about Burt’s heart attack that you wouldn’t be going to New York. I also knew that he’d want you to do more than take care of him all day. He’ll eventually be back to work and then what will you do?” Blaine grinned when he saw the look of disbelief cross Kurt’s face. “No, let me finish. I wrote to the school board and asked if they’d found someone to take the Westerville School yet. They hadn’t, so I made them an offer they couldn’t refuse. I’ll be at Westerville, you’ll be at Lima. Simple.”

“Blaine, the whole reason for you to teach in Lima was to save money. You can’t do that if you have to board in Westerville. I can’t let you do that for me. I deferred for a semester, not forever.”

“I live closer to Westerville School than I do to Lima, you know that. My commute won’t be that bad. On days the weather is too bad, I have a friend I can stay with. Besides, I’ll be taking correspondence courses while I save money, so I won’t be too far behind you when I finally do make it to New York.” Blaine said, the smile in his voice reaching his eyes as well.

“I’m taking correspondence courses as well. I didn’t want to fall too far behind. Maybe we can help each other out once in a while.” Kurt said.

“That sounds like a very good idea. We always did work well together.”

“Yeah, we did.” Kurt said, and then smiled at Blaine while squeezing his hand. “Thank you Blaine. This means a lot to me, really.”

“My pleasure. Go home and tell Burt your good news. Tell him I’ll accept baked goods as a thank you.”

~#~#~#~

What was supposed to be one semester turned into a full school year during which time Kurt and Blaine become the best of friends. Blaine raced from Westerville School to Kurt’s house every afternoon where they spent the afternoon and evening grading assignments and doing their correspondence course work together.

Burt returned to work on a part-time basis five weeks after he returned home from the hospital. His doctor was pleased with his progress and agreed that he could work full-time two days a week and would be back to full-time after the first of the year. Although Kurt was happy to hear the news that his father would be fine, he decided to take one more semester before he moving to New York. He was keeping up with his studies via correspondence and enjoying teaching as well. He knew that one more semester wouldn’t make a huge difference in either his dad’s recovery or his college career, but he just couldn’t leave his dad until he feet in his heart that he was ready.

Neither teaching nor his courses fed his creative side, though; so he spent any free time he had writing short stories and entering them in writing contests all over the country. Every story he wrote brought a rejection letter some number of weeks later. He told no one that he’d been entering his original work into contests, too ashamed that he hadn’t won even an honorable mention.

Kurt’s luck changed in the spring. He had spent weeks reading over his stories and the rejection letters accompanying them. While most were standard ‘We regret to inform you...’ letters a few of them were more personalized. Those he took particular care with, trying to learn from his rejection. He soon noticed that many of them used the same phrases ‘over the top situations’ and ‘dialogue too flowery to be believably said by anyone alive today’. He could learn from this. Every great writer was rejected before their big break, but how many of them knew how to fix what was broken?

Two months before the end of the school year, Kurt stopped at the post office on his way home. His last story submission included fine print stating that everyone would be notified this week good or bad. As he was walking home, he sorted the mail, looking for that one envelope. He noticed the return address before anything else and squealed a little before sliding his finger along the flap to open it. The letter wasn’t what he was expecting; it was another rejection. This one stated that he may make any changes and resubmit if he’d like.

He made it to the shortcut leading through the forest before he sat down, staring at the envelope in his hands willing the tears not to fall from his eyes. He didn’t hear Blaine approaching until it was too late.

“Kurt, what’s wrong? Did something happen to your dad?” Blaine asked as he leaned his bike against a tree and then sat beside Kurt. That’s when he noticed Kurt’s attempts to not cry.

Kurt turned into Blaine’s arms and let the tears flow freely, instantly soaking Blaine’s jacket. “No, nothing’s wrong with my dad. I just got another rejection. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Why can’t I seem to get published? I have all of these stories inside of me and every time I put them on paper and submit them they seem to turn into something over the top with unbelievable dialogue. I’m just writing what’s in my heart, what’s wrong with romance and kind words?” Kurt asked as he sat up and looked down at the envelope. “Maybe I’m not meant to be an author.”

Blaine’s heart broke a little bit when he heard the discouragement in Kurt’s voice. “Kurt, you are the most interesting, kind, compassionate, and imaginative person I’ve ever met. Please don’t ever change who you are. Maybe you just haven’t found the right audience for your stories.” He reached out and put a hand over Kurt’s. “May I read this? Maybe make a few suggestions? I promise I won’t do anything with it until I talk to you first.”

“Okay. Thank you.” Kurt handed the envelope to Blaine. “I don’t need it back. Read it and then throw it away. I’m going to go home and wallow for a bit before I start dinner. I’ll see you later, Blaine.”

Blaine watched Kurt walk away and whispered “Later, my love.”

That weekend Kurt invited Mercedes and Rachel over for quality time, something they tried to do as often as possible. But this particular meeting was more to get his mind off of his latest rejection. They spent the afternoon baking cookies and giving each other facials.

After the last batch of cookies was out of the oven, they sat around the kitchen table drinking tea. Mercedes gave Rachel a pointed look and raised her eyebrow. Rachel shook her head. Kurt watched the silent argument between his two friends before speaking up. “What’s wrong with you two?”

“Rachel has something to tell you.” Mercedes said before Rachel could speak.

“Mercedes, now isn’t the time. We’re here for Kurt, not to celebrate my good news.” Rachel said and then slapped her hand over her mouth after she realized what she said.

“What good news? I could stand to hear some good news. Tell me, please.”

“Well, Finn asked me to marry him and I said yes!” Rachel said.

“Oh Rachel, that’s wonderful! I’m so happy for you!” Kurt reached over the table and pulled her into a hug.

They sat back down at the table and Kurt got down to business. “Have you set a date yet? I think you should have a spring wedding, which means you’ll need to wait until next year of course, but there’s nothing wrong with long engagements. What about colors? While white is traditional, I think you should look into champagne, maybe ivory even. Oh, and flowers. You should definitely have spring flowers, maybe even picked from your garden that morning.” A project, just what Kurt needed.

“Kurt! Stop and I’ll tell you all about it, I promise. We’re going to get married at the end of the summer, this summer. It’s not going to be anything fancy, just our families and close friends at the ceremony, then a big casual party that evening.” She shook her head when Kurt tried to speak. “I know, you think it’s fast; and it is, but I love him and he loves me. Why wait any longer. You have New York, your writing, and Blaine. Mercedes is going to New Orleans to work in her uncle’s jazz club. This is what I have, a man who loves me and will provide for me.”

“Rachel, you could have anything you wanted. But I know what it’s like to want something. I think so long as you’re happy that’s all that matters.” Kurt held her hand across the table and reached for Mercedes’ hand as well. “I’ll help you in whatever way I can. I am at your beck and call. Anything you need, all you have to do is ask and it’s yours.”

Rachel smiled at him and wiped the tears from her eyes. “Thank you Kurt, that means so much to me. My only request from you is that you help me pick a dress. And save a dance for me at the party.”

“Of course.”

The wedding was beautiful, simple yet classy. Rachel and Finn were happy, and there wasn’t a dry eye in the house. Kurt enjoyed himself at the party, until the dancing began. As promised he shared a dance with Rachel then Mercedes. He made his way through all of his female friends, dancing with each one, as expected; but as soon as he was done he sat down with a glass of lemonade. As his friends continued to dance, he stared off into the night trying not to let his desire to love and be loved show while he watched all the couples on the dance floor.

After watching for a couple minutes, he decided to head home. His friends would be up late into the night.

Blaine watched Kurt all evening, dancing with their friends, laughing at jokes, telling stories. When it looked like Kurt was getting ready to leave, Blaine followed him. “Kurt! Wait!” Blaine jogged to catch up with him. “May I walk you home?”

“Sure. I was going to take my time, the stars are beautiful tonight. I try to absorb as much of the night sky as I can, once I go to New York I won’t be able to see as many as I can here.” They stopped on the bridge over the creek and stared up at the sky. The music at the party was barely audible, enough to be able to pick out the tune. “Can I tell you a secret? I’ve always wanted to dance at a wedding; with a man. I know it’s silly.” He felt the blush rise on his cheeks.

Blaine cleared his throat, tapped Kurt on the shoulder and asked “May I have this dance?”

Kurt saw Blaine’s hand held out in invitation, smiled and said “Yes. Yes you may.”

Kurt stepped into Blaine’s arms and they began moving to the faint sounds of music coming from the party. One song faded into another as they continued dancing. Blaine’s head rested against Kurt’s shoulder his lips an inch away from Kurt’s neck; Kurt tipped his head so that his temple was resting against Blaine’s forehead. They had their eyes closed and when the music stopped playing, they began to hum, their tunes complemented each other.

Blaine lifted his head from Kurt’s shoulder and said “I’ve wanted to do this since I first saw you, you know. This is really a dream come true.”

“Why did you tease me so much in school, if you wanted to dance with me?” Kurt asked.

“I didn’t know how to tell you how I felt. I was afraid you’d laugh at me. I knew that you were too good for me, and I’d rather have you in my life any way I could, than ruin any relationship we might have by asking you out.” Blaine looked into Kurt’s eyes and saw something he’d been hoping to see for years. In that moment Blaine decided to take a chance; he rose up on his toes and leaned forward moving his lips toward Kurt’s; his eyes rapidly looking between Kurt’s eyes and lips. He saw Kurt’s tongue slip out and moisten his lips right before their lips touched.

A fraction of a second later Kurt pulled back, his eyes wide; then he turned around and ran away from Blaine. He didn’t look back so he didn’t see Blaine’s face fall, his shoulders sag and his knees buckle before he fell to the ground. Blaine stayed on the bridge for hours, holding his knees to his chest and rocking back and forth. He tried to think about what he’d done wrong and couldn’t come up with anything.

Kurt ran all the way home and went directly to his room; his dad was already in bed. He crawled into bed and spent the night alternating between staring at the ceiling and reliving his evening, especially the last hour; a smile on his face as he remembered the feeling of dancing in Blaine’s arms. Morning came much too soon.

~#~#~#~

By the end of August Kurt had successfully avoided Blaine and redirected any conversation even remotely related to Blaine. He contacted New York University and found a place to live. With his belongings packed and in the back of the truck he asked his dad to stop by Rachel’s house on the way to the train station.

“I don’t have a lot of time, but I want you to make sure Blaine gets this after I’ve left.” Kurt said as he handed her an envelope with Blaine’s name on it.

“Kurt, why don’t you give it to him? I’m sure he’d love to see you, even if it’s just for a minute.”

“I can’t Rachel. It’s better this way. If I see him, I won’t ever want to leave, and I need to do this. I need to go to New York and find my muse.” He put his arms around her and gave her a hug. “Please make sure he gets it, but not until after my train leaves.”

“Okay. I will.”

When he finally reached New York, he couldn’t believe how big it was and how tall everything was. For a boy from a small town, everything seemed overwhelming. He made arrangements for his luggage to be delivered to his new residence before he left Lima and was excited to see where he’d be spending the next four years of his life.

He was lucky to find a position as a live-in house master at a boarding school not far from the New York University campus. His cab dropped him on the corner nearest to the boarding school and he walked to what he assumed was the administration office to sign his contract and get his keys.

The headmaster was expecting him and offered to give him a quick tour of the campus while walking him to his residence hall. On the way the headmaster reiterated his responsibilities and offered to help him learn the names of his charges.

“Thanks Mr. Evans, but I think I’d like to introduce myself in my own way. I appreciate you taking the time to make sure I found the building and I really appreciate you offering this position to me.”

“When Will Schuester told me about you and mentioned that you would be starting this fall, I knew I’d found the right fit for these kids. They’re all good kids, but they’ve been known to haze their new house-masters. Don’t let them run you off and let me know if there are any issues or you need anything.” Mr. Evans shook Kurt’s hand and then continued across campus in the direction of his home.

The first thing Kurt noticed when he walked into the building was the quiet. It was unnaturally quiet; he knew there were sixteen students in his charge, ages fourteen to sixteen, but he couldn’t tell if anyone was home at the moment. He opened the door to his quarters, conveniently located next to the entrance door and slid his satchel inside, closing the door behind him. The rest of his luggage would arrive within the hour.

He had planned to spend the time getting to know his charges so he made his way up the stairs hoping to find someone in their room. He stopped at every door and listened but heard nothing. Becoming concerned, he finally decided to knock on a door but there was no answer. He wondered if they were maybe at the library, but had no way to check before his luggage arrived.

Two hours later his luggage had arrived and he’d checked the library and dining hall, neither of which contained his charges. When he returned to his apartment he was surprised to hear whispering coming from the common room across from his door. Looking in there revealed nothing but furniture six inches from each wall and draperies with the toes of shoes sticking out from under them.

He heaved a sigh, and said “I’ll just have to eat the brownies by myself. They’ll turn up sometime.” Then turned and walked back to his apartment. He was lucky to have a small efficiency kitchen, not big but with enough equipment to make basic things, like brownies. He began measuring and mixing while the oven heated up and then placed the pan into the oven. He then made sure his door was open a bit with the window from the sitting room providing a cross breeze, just enough to push the smell of brownies into the hallway.

Soon, the whispering he heard earlier grew louder. The natives are getting restless, mutiny is on the horizon. From the corner of his eye he saw the first mutineer sneak a peek around his door, and then he heard a loud whisper say “He doesn’t look like a monster.” At that point it’s very difficult not to laugh. The brownies came out of the oven and by the time he had plates and glasses ready he had sixteen different sets of eyes staring into his apartment from his half-opened doorway.

“Wish there was someone to share these with.” He said as he began cutting and serving the brownies, then pouring glasses of milk. He took a plate and glass, and then moved into the chair best seen from the doorway. After his first bite he couldn’t help the moan that escaped, if it was slightly exaggerated nobody needed to know.

By this point the whispering could no longer be classified as whispering and the first of his charges opened the door, walked to the kitchen, got a plate and glass, sat down on the floor and took a bite. “Not bad, but I’ve had better.”

“Next time you can make them then. I’m Kurt Hummel your house-master. And you are?” He asks.

“Santana Lopez, but you can call me Tana.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Tana. Would your friends like to come in? There’s plenty for everyone.” He figured she must be the leader of the pack. Or the guinea pig. He was fine with both.

“Hey, losers; come on in. He doesn’t seem all that bad.” She said in between stuffing more brownie in her mouth and gulping milk. “They’ll come in, might take them a while.”

Kurt smiled at her and continued to take small bites of his brownie, at some point he was going to run out and his plan to remain seated until he’d met every single one of his charges would no longer seem natural. “Okay. Take your time guys, but the brownies are getting cold.”

One by one they filed into his apartment, took a brownie and glass of milk and sat down to eat. He learned their names and as they became more comfortable around him they began to talk to each other.

It took weeks for Kurt to become more than just the guy who lived downstairs and enforced the curfew, but over time the kids came to trust him and some even began to confide in him or ask for advice. He prided himself on his open door policy telling the kids that when he’s home he is always available whether it’s to talk, to help with homework, or if they just want to sit in his apartment while they each work on their own homework, his door’s always open.

By mid-semester, he had sixteen teenagers spread out on his floor, each one studying for tests or writing essays. He looked up from his own reading with a smile on his face; it’d been a long time since he was so happy. He can remember the moment, he and Blaine were at his kitchen table debating the merits of some obscure philosopher, and his dad was in the living room reading the paper. A wave of contentment and rightness washed over him; at that moment he knew what love would feel like.

A few of the students lived too far away to make a trip home for winter break, so Kurt stayed in New York with them. It’s the first winter break since he became a Hummel that he hadn’t been with his dad. Burt offered to make the trip to New York, but Kurt didn’t want him to spend so much time on a train for a visit that wouldn’t last more than a couple days. Instead they sent each other gifts and promised to write to each other every day.

In the spring, as he was leaving his last class of the day he heard his name called. When he looked around, he was shocked to see a face he thought he’d never see again, Blaine.

“Blaine! What are you doing here? I thought you were taking one more year before you started college.”

“Yeah, I was going to, but my father wouldn’t let me put it off any longer. So here I am. I was hoping I’d see you before now. I’ve missed you.”

They were standing in the path of what seemed to be every student on campus, so they stepped to the side to continue their conversation. “I’ve missed you, too. Do you want to go sit down and catch up? I have a bit of time before I need to be back for the kids.”

“I’d love to, but I have a class in ten minutes. Walk with me?”

“Sure.” Kurt said as he fell into step with Blaine.

They discussed the classes they were taking while they walked until Blaine stopped in front of a building and said “This is my stop.”

Before Kurt could say anything, Blaine asked “Would you like to go out to dinner with me? Tomorrow night?”

“I’d love to. Let me write down my address for you before you go.” He scribbled a couple lines on the corner of Blaine’s notebook.

“Great, I’ll pick you up at six thirty tomorrow night.” Blaine said and then ran up the stairs, turning when he reached the top to wave at Kurt before going inside. Kurt waved back and then with a smile on his face headed home. He had plans to make.

That night he told his kids that he’d be out the next evening, but would be back before they went to bed. This news was met with interest from everyone. He quieted the crowd and said “I’m going on a date, and no I won’t tell you anything else about it; tonight or tomorrow night when I get back.”

When Blaine arrived to pick him up, he’s surprised to find not only Kurt but sixteen teenagers standing behind him. “Hello” he said waving at the kids behind Kurt.

“You better be good to him, he’s the best house-master we’ve ever had. If you make him leave we will hunt you down and do bad things to you and your dog, or cat, or lizard, whatever. Just treat him right and don’t make him cry. Nobody wants to see that.”

“Thank you Santana, but I’ll be fine. I’ve known Blaine for a very long time, and it’s been years since he’s made me cry.” Kurt said, the grin on his face telling Blaine that he was kidding.

Blaine handed the flowers he’d been holding to Kurt, then turned to Santana looked directly in her eyes and solemnly swore “I promise there will be no need for you to hunt me down, and while I have no pets, I understand what you’re saying. I’ve been waiting for this night for a very long time.”

“Yeah, well I’ll believe it when I see it. I’ll put those in water for you Kurt.” She said and accepted the flowers from Kurt. “Your curfew is ten tonight, don’t be late.”

Kurt chuckled as he and Blaine walked down the stairs.

Dinner was amazing, dessert a shared slice of cheesecake. They continued their conversation on the walk home, and long before Kurt was ready to say goodbye to Blaine they arrived at his front door. As Kurt reached for the handle he felt Blaine place his hand on his arm and quietly say “Wait.”

Kurt turned around and faced Blaine. He felt Blaine’s hand slide up his arm and around to the back of his neck. Kurt stared into Blaine’s eyes as Blaine moved closer to him and as Blaine began to say “I’ve screwed this up too many times in the past, so this time I’m going to ask first. May I ki-” Kurt didn’t let him finish, he closed the distance.

Kurt was surprised at his boldness, but he’d waited so long for this moment and he wasn’t going to let Blaine talk himself out of a goodnight kiss. The first kiss was chaste. The second kiss was full of the passion that had been brewing between them since they first saw each other so many years ago. The third kiss, while still passionate, was tempered by the knowledge that they would be doing this again and for many years to come.

“Thank you Kurt. I had a wonderful evening. I hope we can do this again, soon.”

“Me, too. Goodnight Blaine.” He watched as Blaine went down the stairs and down the street. When he could no longer distinguish Blaine from any of the other people on the street, he opened the doors only to be met with sixteen pair of eyes watching him from the shadows. He couldn’t wipe the smile from his face, so he didn’t try instead saying “I’ll be up in two minutes to make sure everyone is in bed.” As he opened the door to his apartment, he heard the kids scamper up the stairs.

After he made his final rounds, he found the flowers on the hall table expertly arranged by Santana. Underneath the vase was an envelope with his name written on it in a very familiar scrawl. Curiosity forced him to open the envelope before he got ready for bed. Inside is the short story he hadn’t seen for years, written on the top This is a beautiful story, but I might be biased. I’ve always believed in you and I believe that you have a great story inside of you. Write what you know.

He read over the story he wrote so long ago and could only make it to the end of the first page before he realized what Blaine and every rejection letter he had ever received were telling him; he was trying too hard to write what he thought people wanted to read. He needed to write what he has lived. He spent most of his life living in a community full of characters, characters that he could write.

After getting ready for bed, Kurt sat down at his desk and began making a list of events in his life and the life of Lima that he could write about. Hours later, he had filled his entire notebook with ideas and was surprised to see the sun beginning to peek over the buildings. Rather than try to sleep, he got dressed for his day and stopped to get a lite breakfast before taking a walk through the park, a slight detour on his way to class.

He waited for Blaine to call on him again, but he never did. He stood outside the building he saw Blaine go into for class the next week, but didn’t see Blaine. He went back to that building every week for the rest of the school year, but Blaine never entered or exited.

He spent every hour not on his own school work or waiting for Blaine to materialize from thin air writing about Lima and all the wonderful and not so wonderful people living there. He changed names and some of the circumstances surrounding some of the events, but he knew that they will know who he meant. He’s writing a love letter to a community that embraced him, for the most part, when he came to live with Burt.

By the end of the semester he had not only excelled in his classes and helped his charges excel in theirs, but he had written a manuscript, one he was proud of and he submitted it to publishers. The day before he left for the summer he got a special delivery from one of the publishers, a letter of acceptance along with an advance check for more money than he’d ever dreamed of having. The letter also included an invitation from his editor, Emma Pillsbury, to meet at her office at his earliest convenience to begin the process of making edits to what he’s written. That afternoon he was shown into Ms. Pillsbury’s office and met the woman who would not only be his lifelong editor but would become a trusted friend as well.

Turned out Blaine knew what he was talking about when he said to write what you know. He had been living the best story he could ever tell, right there in Lima, Ohio.

~#~#~#~

Kurt went home that summer. He needed to spend time working with his editor; once he returned to school he wouldn’t have large blocks of uninterrupted time to devote to editing. Writing could be done in short bursts of time or late at night, but Ms. Pillsbury had told him that editing required more concentration.

As a welcome home, Rachel and Finn held a party for Kurt. All of their old classmates and friends were there, except for Blaine. Kurt asked after him, but nobody would give him an answer.

As he was getting another glass of lemonade, Kurt felt something tug on his pant leg. He looked down at Betsy, her blond hair in pigtails as she sucked on her thumb.

“Did you know Blaine Anderson was dying?”

Kurt gasped, and turned to his friends; his friends who couldn’t look him in the eye. “Rachel, what does she mean dying?”

Rachel reached for his arm as he took a step back. “Kurt, we didn’t want you to find out like this. Please, come sit with me and I’ll tell you everything I can.” Kurt nodded as he let Rachel lead him to the porch swing and sit down.

“Please tell me he’s going to be okay. I can’t lose him before I’ve told him how I feel.”

“He came home ten weeks ago, pneumonia the doctor said. He’s had close calls, but nothing has seemed to work. We don’t think it’ll be much longer. They say he’s held on longer than expected, like he’s waiting for something or someone. That’s all I know.”

“Please tell me his parents will let me see him. I need to tell him how I feel about him.” Kurt said as he stood up, pulling away when Rachel tried to touch him. “No, don’t try to stop me. I have to see him, how could you not tell me? You’re supposed to be my best friend.”

“Kurt, it’s not something you say in a letter. And there’s really nothing you could have done to help him. You’re not a doctor.”

“I know Rachel. But I could have come back sooner. I could have sat with him.” Kurt couldn’t hold the sobs in anymore. “I could have told him I love him. And now it may be too late.” He wiped his eyes and took a deep breath. “I have to go see him. If this is my only chance, I’m going to take it. I can’t let him leave me without telling him.” He stood and strode from the porch, walking as quickly as he could toward the Anderson home.

“Kurt! We didn’t know you were back. Glad to see you.” Mrs. Anderson said after she opened the door. Kurt could see the toll Blaine’s illness had taken on her, she was sad behind the smile.

“Thank you. I’m sorry to bother you, I know it’s late, but I was hoping I could see Blaine? I won’t stay long, I promise. I just want to see him for a minute.” Kurt could see the hesitance in her face. “I promise I won’t stay long.”

“Okay, I’ll let you see him for five minutes. He was awake for a few minutes earlier, but he’s sleeping now.” She pointed to the stairs. “First door on the right at the top of the stairs.”

“Thank you.” Kurt touched her arm as he passed by her.

When he pushed the door open he wasn’t expecting to see the Blaine he remembered, Rachel had said he’d been sick for weeks, but he wasn’t expecting to see a body that looked like it belonged to someone ten years older. Blaine had lost a lot of weight; his skin looked clammy and sallow. His eyes were sunken in his face. Kurt walked over to the chair sitting by the side of the bed and sat down; he steeled himself for what was going to be the hardest five minutes of his life.

Blaine’s hand was resting on the bed, next to Kurt, the fingers twitching like they were reaching out for something to hold. So Kurt lifted it enough to slide his own hand underneath, hoping that the gesture would let Blaine know that he was there. As soon as Blaine’s hand felt the movement, it stopped twitching and Kurt could see a small smile on Blaine’s face. Kurt choked back a sob of relief as he saw the smile.

“Blaine? Can you hear me? I came as soon as I heard you were ill. I’m sorry I couldn’t come earlier.” He let out a sound that was a cross between a laugh and a cry before continuing. “I wanted to tell you, before anyone else, I wrote a book. And it’s going to be published next year. You were right, I wrote what I know.” He was crying, big fat tears rolled down his cheeks as he felt Blaine squeeze his hand a little tighter. The smile on Blaine’s face seems to be a little bigger.

“I dedicated it to the men I love. To my dad; and to you.” He felt another squeeze. “I’m sorry it took me so long to tell you. But I want you to know that I love you. It’s always been you Blaine. I feel like my mind has finally realized what my heart and soul have known since I first saw you; walking across the meadow by the church ten years ago. You were so handsome. I feel like we’ve been looking for each other in every lifetime, in every universe. And we always find each other. Eventually." Kurt leaned to place a kiss to Blaine’s lips. "I'm never saying goodbye to you."

Mrs. Anderson wiped the tear from her eye and silently walked back down the stairs. Kurt could stay with Blaine; she knew that now her son had love to live for. And he’d be on the road to recovery soon.

Kurt laid his head on Blaine’s chest over his heart. Right before he fell asleep he heard “I love you, too.”