Chapter Text
Jihoon was a nightmare of a roommate. An absolute nightmare of snippy comments, of locking himself in his room and banging some part of his body on the doorframe whenever he came home late and waking me up with muttered curses. He was a challenge, though. And I loved challenges. I loved the challenge of making choreography for the younger kids at the dance studio. I loved the challenge of freestyling rap with Chan and Hansol (even though I sucked and they always laughed at me). I loved the challenge of karaoke with Seokmin (even though it rarely stayed a challenge and usually ended with us screeching with laughter on the bench instead of singing). And I really, really especially loved the challenge of Jihoon.
He was not only a challenge. He was a rewarding challenge. And after months of exasperated sighs and harsh glares and his mouth set in a tight, unmovable line I got a sunny, little smile out of him and never felt more accomplished, more rewarded.
It was a smile of such quality (though I might’ve been biased because of all the work I had to put in to get even a fond sigh out of him). I never could’ve expected to get something so bright and sunny and cute out of the tight-lipped, little grump I first met. Chan introduced us…kinda. I had been complaining to the kid about needing to move out of the dorms finally and how I needed a roommate and how I would totally ask Seokmin and have like totally cool adventures and shit with him but he was a baby still (a whole year younger than me) and he didn’t wanna move out yet. And the kid, despite being too young to be friends with me or any of my friends really (except maybe Hansol but like I think Chan and Hansol were friends with each other more than either were friends with me), was the one who had the solution to my roommate problem. And, like, I totally should’ve expected it because even though Chan was a freshman he was the most reliable and responsible friend I had and I would absolutely put my life in his hands.
His solution was a tiny junior that he took some music classes with and befriended with their mutual annoyance with Jeonghan (who was friends with everyone, I swear). Chan was the kind of friend who even set us up to meet each other just to see if this whole roommate thing could ever possibly work out. I mean officially meet each other. I’d seen Jihoon before, usually just a quick flash of blond at a party somewhere. The closest I ever got to him was through Jeonghan. He had dragged Jihoon to a party somehow and was staying glued to his side for most of the night (unusual for the social butterfly that was Jeonghan) so I had to get within Jihoon’s sightlines to get Jeonghan to leave with me or follow me to some room because I was desperately missing hands on me and I had that kind of arrangement with Jeonghan still, back then. Jihoon made menacing eye contact with me but neither of us said anything before I got Jeonghan away.
Chan pointed both of us to a quiet café near the library. He fussed over me and gave me a ton of instructions—“Please for the love of god, don’t have any caffeine while you’re there…or before you’re there,” and “Jihoon is a good guy but he gets annoyed pretty easily so like don’t hold it against him,” and “If you want this to work you gotta chill for once in your life,”—making it sound like a blind date or my only chance to get a roommate. Which it wasn’t. I mean Seokmin wasn’t moving out any time soon and neither was Chan (and I probably wouldn’t be his first choice for a roommate even if he was) and Jeonghan was already living with (and basically married to) Seungcheol and Jun used his sweet, sweet acting and modeling money to live alone but that was just the people I already knew. There was a whole, wide world out there outside of this tiny, grumpy junior looking to move out too.
I followed Chan’s directions, though, because they sounded like a challenge and Chan was already overly-familiar with how much I loved a challenge. Especially after all of our tipsy dance battles and ill-advised rap battles and trying to get Jeonghan to love one of us more (it was always, always Chan even back when I could still suck his dick to get on his good side). So I was waiting in the café still in my dance practice clothes, sipping on a hot chocolate piled with whipped cream and scrolling through Twitter, shockingly not late for once.
Jihoon appears, looking tired and ragged and holding the biggest cup of black, black, black coffee I’ve ever seen. “Soonyoung?” He asks.
“Jihoon?” I confirm.
He slides into the table across from me and gives me a relieved smile. “Chan told me to look for the blond.”
I’m self-conscious about my hair for a second and notice the similarities between us, the newly-blond hair and the small eyes but his roots are darker and longer than mine and I remember his hair being chalked up with nice pastels in the past. “Yeah, I just dyed it.”
He blows his hair out of his eyes, looking annoyed. “Don’t get used to it. You’ll fry your hair.”
His hair looks soft and not fried and I have to consciously stop myself from reaching out and touching it because I’m touchy by nature and all my friends are so used to it and it’s been a while since I was with anyone whose boundaries I didn’t know. I don’t wanna fuck up the first impression, you know.
He gives me the most practical peek into his life I’ve ever seen. He’s a music production major and sometimes he has weird hours for projects and he’s allergic to cats and he’s polite and almost professional and I can’t believe it. When I met Jeonghan I was drunk at a party and I cried in front of him because I thought his hair was so pretty. And when I met Seokmin (in a psychology class I don’t think either of us really should’ve been taking) I somehow ended up telling him about the time in high school that I stripped at a party because they played a Nicki Minaj song and he countered me with a story of being banned from his high school talent shows because he sang a dirty song in English and then pretended to not know what it said afterwards. None of my relationships have started with a mutual friend and a coffee date before.
“This feels kinda like a date.” I laugh to myself after we exchange introductions.
Jihoon’s face tightens into something unpleasant. “I’m not looking for anything like that.” He says uncomfortably. “If that’s what you’re trying to get.”
I wasn’t. I wasn’t even trying to and I feel like I’ve overstepped some boundaries because I’ve never been good at feeling them out and I’m a stupid idiot. “No!” I correct him. “No, I’m sorry, that’s not what I want at all.” The idea of living with a significant other makes me feel tight and restrained. And it hasn’t been that long since Jeonghan ended our little arrangement and I was still waiting for that cute TA in my dance class (Kibum I think?) to figure out that I was very, very interested. All I wanted from Jihoon was to pay half the rent, honestly.
I haven’t fucked everything up irreversibly I guess because Jihoon still gives me his number when we leave the café. And he spends the next few weeks texting me links to apartments up for rent and sending me addresses to meet him for open houses. The whole thing feels strangely and uncomfortably intimate and domestic so much that I keep texting Seokmin distressed emojis and begging him to move out with me. He’s sympathetic for about five seconds before he just starts laughing at my pain and telling me to move in with Jeonghan and Seungcheol (and I can’t because Jeonghan is kind of my ex and also I never wanna interfere with anyone’s honeymoon stage).
And a month into doing weirdly intimate things with Jihoon (like visiting open houses and agreeing on what furniture we can share and what to move) but barely feeling close to him at all we both sign a lease for an apartment close to campus.
That’s when the challenge of Jihoon really becomes apparent. He’s professional still and cold and distant, still, a ghost around the apartment more than anything else. It’s awkward, painfully so. Living with someone who barely makes small talk with you should be considered a circle of hell. I feel like I’m caught in the middle of nasty divorce and I don’t even know Jihoon yet.
I’m determined to experience at least some warmth, some sort of relationship with Jihoon before being relegated to the cold, cold distance we have. If we’re getting divorced we must’ve had a honeymoon at some point (not like Jeonghan and Seungcheol but just like…any kind of happiness). So the challenge begins.