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He watched the frost swirl on his exhale. He hated the cold, for good reason, but being bundled in warm layers helped. The sky was a crisp blue and the sun glistened on the frozen surface of the lake. Excited chattering surrounded him, and tiny gloved hands tugged at his fingers. “Papa, papa, we’re almost there.”
Bucky brought his metal fingers up to the scarf that covered his chin and obscured his face, and pulled it down so that he could smile down at his little girl. It was a half-hearted smile as he watched the sun glint off the blade of her skate that dangled over her shoulder. “Natalia, I still don’t know about this.”
“Relax,” Natasha tugged on his left elbow with both hands, very much the same way Sveta had pulled at his hand.
“They could fall; they could get seriously hurt.”
He watched as his son ran ahead at a surprisingly fast pace, plowing through snow almost to his hips. Before long, speed and his top-heavy child proved that he was still at odds with gravity when a cloud of snow engulfed the boy. He stood up abruptly, his pink, wet face sporting a giant grin.
“If they fall, they bounce back,” Natasha stated gleefully.
“This powdery snow is a much different element than ice.” Bucky cocked his head as Natasha’s brow arched. “What? I know – firsthand – about this stuff.”
“I think a two-foot fall onto padded bottoms is a far cry from a ravine, James,” she said quietly and brushed a lock of hair from Bucky’s face. “Are you sure you’re warm enough? You’re wearing so many layers.”
“I like the variety.”
“You like the anonymity.”
Through the layers, all that Natasha could see of Bucky’s smile, were his pink cheeks puffing up and his eyes and nose crinkling; but it was a smile all the same.
“Hurry!” they were goaded along by the excited voices of their little daredevils. “What if the ice melts?”
“The ice never melts,” Bucky muttered. He looked at his little ones, bundled up for warmth, with adoration, “I promise you, it is cold enough that the ice will not melt today. I wish it were a lake instead of ice, wouldn’t a nice warm swim be fun?”
“It’s too cold to swim Papa.”
“It’s too cold to wake up, too. But here we are.” Bucky teased. “Are you sure you don’t want to go curl up in front of movies instead?”
“We’re sure,” the chorus of three giggled as they reached the fence.
“Why is no one on my side?” He shook his head as if he were terribly put out by the whole thing. He was concerned about his kids, they’d come into his life and made it easier to look forward to any day, and they were tiny and breakable! He watched with a resigned sigh as they stopped at the fence between them and this part of the lake.
The kids were swinging their feet as they balanced on the bottom rail of the fence. Bucky knelt next to Natasha, their knees bumping as they each tightened the laces on four wiggly feet.
“You’re frowning.”
Bucky caught Nat’s eye, consciously changing the scowl on his face. “Nuh-uh.”
“You’re really worried?”
“I know it’s not rational.”
“They’ll be fine,” she grinned. “They got their grace from me.”
“Thankfully,” Bucky looked up to the sky with a sigh. “Does it work that way when they’re adopted?”
“It does if I say it does.” Natasha shoved at Bucky’s arm, toppling Bucky over into the nearby snowdrift. The kids slid off the fence rail, tackling “Papa” before he could right himself, and the quartet dissolved into giggles.
“Alright, alright, I guess you’ve decided tackling me is more exciting than skating. Good, let’s go back.”
“NO!” the kids objected, falling back on their knees.
He stood up, watching them try to stand on their skates before sweeping them up over his shoulders with a wink for Natasha. She shook her head with a reluctant smile.
“Come on, you three,” She said, sounding to him like she wasn't sure which of the three was the biggest child. He corrected his assessment, he was the biggest child, always would be.
Bucky beamed at her, the light in his darkness. He made a face when she rolled her eyes and he smiled tenderly when her hand landed on the small of his back, as they made their way the few feet to the frozen lake. The kids lolled across his shoulders as he packed them like those bags of grain at the grocery all those years ago, though either they were far lighter, or he was a lot stronger.
“Just think, if there wasn’t any ice, I could just toss you in.”
Another chorus of “NO!” sounded behind his ear as they squirmed harder. His arms tightened over their winter-gear padded bottoms.
“When are you going to stop teasing them?” Natasha scolded.
“When you stop teasing me.” Bucky chuckled, setting the kids down upon the ice. Nat gripped Jamie’s hands and Bucky held onto Sveta tightly. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”
“Yes.” The answers were still in tandem, but weaker than the previous 'no’s and 'we’re ready's.
“Good, me too.” Bucky mustered all the positivity he could, after all, they were there, he would never let anything hurt his kids, and Natasha was probably right, they had her grace. At least outside of deep snowbanks.
They skated in pairs, one big - one little, trading partners while promising the kids adamantly that they would not let go. Before long, both Natasha and Bucky were torn when they were faced with their little ones wanting to be let go.
“Relax, they get it from you, remember?” Bucky tried to tease Natasha. “Talia, they’ll be fine, they’re close to the ground and padded.”
“Then why haven’t you let go yet?”
“I was waiting for you.”
…
The fire crackled and James breathed. Natasha looked up from where her head rested on his chest. “Today was nice.”
“It was. I don’t know why I worried so much.”
“Yeah, you do.” She brushed a lock of his hair aside, kissing the exposed jaw line.
“Right. Will that ever go away?”
“Maybe, someday.” Natasha smiled and rested her cheek on his shoulder. “I’m kidding, of course it will.”
The fingers of his left hand tickled her back as he reached for his warm mug with his right. “It’s mostly background noise. Have I told you how much fun I had today?”
“I don’t think you have.” She sat up next to him and reached for her own mug, the cocoa was a little cooler than she’d prefer, but foregoing it in the interest of cuddles made drinking it lukewarm feel like a reward. “But I did know from the start you were having fun despite your grumbling.”
“I don’t grumble,” He tried to sound grumbly but laughter bubbled up, ruining his joke.
Natasha patted him on the knee. “James, you’re a mess. So, have you given any more thought to what you want to do for Christmas?”
“Sleep in, eat pancakes, watch you all open presents.”
“Okay, what about Christmas Eve? Should we go ice skating again?”
“You’re such a tease, what if we bundle the kids up, put them on the sled and pull them around the village to look at the lights?”
“Then we can come home and over-do it on sweets, you’ll bake for me, won’t you, James?”
“I’ll bake anything you’d like, Natalia.” He sat forward, about to push up from the sofa. “My chocolate’s cold, yours? You want me to warm it up?”
“You think you can make it after all those falls on the ice?” Natasha called after him, watching his retreat from the living room with pleasure.
“You’re cruel, Talia,” he called over his shoulder.
She pulled her legs up close, settling her toes into the sofa cushions, waiting, listening to the beeping of the microwave in the other room and the soft whoosh of wind outside their holiday cottage. She could hear him softly rummaging cabinets, and hoped for some of his cookies or a brownie. The microwave never dinged, but she saw him returning with the two mugs balanced in one hand and a plate atop the palm of his other.
“Is that what I think it is?” Natasha changed positions on the couch again, kneeling on the cushion and trying to catch a glimpse of the contents of the plate.
“Hmm? I don’t know, what do you think it is?” James held the plate higher, dropping a kiss on her forehead.
“And you call me cruel, I must have learned that from you, too.”
“Too?” He grinned, turning to set the plate on the table. “Just what am I being accused of, here?”
“You know, you taught me a lot over the years.”
“Yeah, and I’ll spend a lot of years making up for some of it.”
“Don’t you dare. You taught me survival, in so many ways. Look what we have James. We have something neither of us ever expected to have. We have a life and a family.”
“And brownies.” James reached for one of the chewy, chocolate delights and held it in to Natasha’s lips.
“Yes, and brownies,” She smirked before taking a bite. “So, anything else you have planned for Christmas Eve?”
“After the kids go to bed, maybe we’ll do some of this, with those sweets you want me to bake. Then, if you’ll allow me to, I’ll blaspheme by worshiping you on a holy night.”
Natalia pushed the decadent brownie away and pulled James to her for a kiss.