Chapter Text
It wasn't that Tony particularly hated board meetings. He actually kind of liked them, in that they provided a solid two to three hours of prime introspective meditation.
Or as Pepper put it, “nap time”.
But he was a decent human being, and listen most of the time. He took notes and asked a few questions just to make sure no one got their panties in a twist. And most importantly, he set his phone on silent.
Well, technically Pepper had done so, but he liked to claim responsibility since it always remained off until the end of the meeting.
So the first message ping came as just as much a surprise to Tony as it did for everyone in the room.
“Sorry guys. I'm positive I'd set the damn thing on silent..” he winced purposefully avoiding the dagger eyes that Pepper was probably shooting at him as he fumbled with the volume control.
“Alrighty. Sorry bout that. Promise it won't happen again”, he waved the phone.
“As I was saying-”, the presenter continued with a chuckle.
Ping.
Ping.ping.ping.ping.
“What the…” he started, pressing the volume down key once more only to be met with the silent icon.
He tapped the back of the phone a few times on the dark wood meeting table a few times.
“Probably just a glitch. I'll have to repro-” he was suddenly cut off by the hijacked wide screen at the front of the board room.
It crackled to life, going in and out of focus a few times before a moving image of what looked like a tile floor was projected on the screen.
There were muffled sounds and a barrage of movement before the image righted itself.
Tony’s stomach dropped. He didn't even need to see anything else before rubbing at his eyes in attempt to quell the migraine he could just feel was going to hit.
The others looked around warily, unsure of what they were supposed to do.
Pepper just turned her attention to the ceiling, mentally begging whatever deity was watching to just swallow the whole building because whatever was happening was more than likely going to need paperwork.
Mountains and mountains of paperwork…
The image on the screen began to move once more as whatever or whoever was holding the camera began to rush down the hallway.
It took a few more moments of hurried running and a sharp left before the camera was flipped to reveal the mysterious holder of the camera.
“Hi Mr. Stark! I mean Tony. Sorry!”
Tony ran a hand roughly down his face trying to scrub away the wave of wariness the new face brought.
“Wait, can he hear me?” Pepper winced as the figure yelled loudly to someone out of frame.
“Hi Peter. I can hear you just fine kiddo.” Tony replied.
“Oh hi!” came the overly excited reply.
“I'm really sorry about interrupting your meeting!” he rushed, craning his neck to peek at something off frame. “But you weren't answering your phone so Nat got my call to go straight to the meeting room screen”, he said sprinting into the common room.
Tony glanced down at his phone only to have his gut flip.
“Is everything alright over there?” he started warily.
“Oh yeah! Totally! Clint’s not here right now but um, everyone else including Bucky is here.”
Tony’s brow shot up.
“Alrighty then… Uh why exactly do I have 12 messages from Bruce? And why did Nat call? She never calls…”
Peter’s eyes widened as he spotted something off screen, prompting him to tiptoe behind one of the large structure pillars within the compound’s common room.
“Well, funny story”, he began with a nervous chuckle.
There was sounds of something shattering off screen with a very aggressive “ damn it” before the screen began to move again as Peter dropped it from his face to start sprinting.
“We have a small problem,” he brought the screen back up to his face which was beginning to sweat.
“Peter...” Tony was growing all the more anxious.
“Okay. Okay. But you gotta promise not to get mad,” he took a sharp corner.
Tony narrowed his eyes.
“First of all, you should know that you're in no way shape or form in a situation to be negotiating any sort of terms and conditions." no one commented on the absolute sass.
“I swear, Peter. If this is anything like the grades incident I will put you on floor lock down.”
There was a muffled yelp before Peter faced the camera once more.
“No no, nothing like that!” he hurried to reply.
“Stark, you better get your butt over here and fix this. He's peed everywhere !” came a slightly muffled shout that sounded worryingly like Nat.
Tony just stared.
“I'll clean it up, I Promise!” Peter added.
“Peter Parker.”
“Mr. Stark-I-mean-Tony,” he replied, trying for a winning smile.
“I want you to be totally honest with me, alright?” the solemnity threw Peter for a loop.
“Alright…?”
“Did you” he nodded to Peter “Pee somewhere outside the bathroom?”
Pepper took a deep breath. Of course it would have to be happening in front of the entire board of directors.... as if they weren't already warry enough...
There was a momentary silence before Peter stammered an answer, tripping over his words.
“No.NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT. no I swear it wasn't me.”
Tony sighed tiredly.
“But someone did.”
Peter chewed at his bottom lol, looking anywhere but at the camera.
“For godsakes!” he threw his hands up in defeat. “Peter Parker. Look at me.”
Peter faced back to the camera, eyes wide in what Cap called “puppy eyes”.
Tony was not going to fall for it. Not this time.
“Who.peed.inside?”
“Weeeeeelll….” Peter winced.
“Peter!”
“Not someone . Some thing .”
Tony narrowed his eyes in suspicion, arms crossing on their own accord.
“Excuse me? Did you just say Some thing as in not human ?”
Pepper just sank lower in her chair.
“...Yes…”
“See Coleman. This is why I said I need to have my phone on during meetings.” Coleman chuckled weakly.
“Teenagers. Nuff said,” he brought up to hands in surrender. “Anywho,” he turned back to the screen where it looked to be somewhere strangely higher than the floor.
“All that aside for a second, where exactly are you?”
There was a rustle as Peter set the camera to back facing.
Tony saw a familiar countertop and view of the living room.
“You're in the kitchen?”
“Yup,” came the whispered response.
“Why are we whispering?”
“Cause he'll hear us,” Peter opened the front face camera once more.
“How are you getting that angle?” one of the multiple scientists in the board meeting asked.
“I'm on top of the refrigerator,” came the honest answer.
Tony just sighed, willing his dwindling amount of patience to hold on tighter.
“Are you in danger?” Tony asked seriously, moving to stack his notes back into the file in front of him.
“I can be there in twenty.”
“Not super super in danger but just kinda sorta.”
Tony sat dumbfounded for a second, trying to get through the utter teenagerness of it all.
Was this really even happening right now ?
“ You're gonna have to be more specific kid. What does ‘just kinda sorta’ mean?”
“I mean, Cap and the others are probably gonna be able to protect themselves.”
“Mhmm…” his patience began to sweat.
“And Dr. Banner is in the basement in the lab so it'll probably not be able to get down there. But Cap locked him in, so he's probably really confused right now.”
“And you?”
“I'm fine for now. I'll just sit tight and maybe it'll wear itself out,” there was a level of honest belief and calmness that did nothing to fix any of Tony’s growing worry.
“Again, what is ‘ it’ ? Is ‘ it ’ the ‘ he ’ that Nat was talking about?”
“Yup!”
He closed his eyes and counted to ten.
“He's actually kinda cute,” Peter nodded. “Cute but super vicious. He nearly got my fingers when he woke up.”
Aaaaand the reserve of patience was gone.
“What are you even talking about? What do you mean he's cute? Why were you even near enough for him to be able to do that? I need answers!”
Pepper couldn't help but shoot Coleman a small smile as Tony’s so called ‘dad voice’ awoke.
“Oh no!” Peter went rigid as his eyes focused to a side, listening for something that wasn't loud enough to be picked up by the phone’s microphone.
“Talk to me, Peter!” worry seeped into his voice.
“He's coming over here”, Peter whispered, eyes wide as he stared ahead.
The faint sounds of clicks came closer and closer to the kitchen.
“Hey, just out of curiosity”, Peter whispered.
No one missed the forced calm in his wavering voice.
“Can coyotes jump?”
There was a beat of stunned silence before Tony replied.
“ Excuse me?”
Peter inhaled sharply, eyes widening at whatever it was that was standing in front of the stainless steel fridge.
Without another word Peter pressed the ‘flip camera’ option.
And for a good five seconds Tony struggled to find his words as the migraine tightened its grip on his brain.
“I know you're probably a bit shocked, but I promise, I can 100% explain!”
The massive bundle of fur unfurled his mouth to reveal a set of stomach churning sharp pointy teeth and a pair of dangerously sharp fangs.
“Oh my god…”
“It's a coyote.”
“Uh, yeah. What the absolute fuck , Peter?!”