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“Everythin’ alright in there, Rox?” Eggsy called curiously as he stepped into the hallway. His tired eyes scanning each surface and frame he passed carefully as if the place was just one giant trap.
For all he knew it could be— but even in his sleep deprived paranoia he knew the chances of that were slim to none. Eggsy strolled leisurely down the hall eyeing plaque awards and framed magazine covers; all involving a man named Derek Kennedy. A very influential businessman— but more specifically he was your unit’s target.
Derek was a bloody genius, far too handsome— yet somehow not overly cocky, with ties to the royal family. Kingsman had been assigned to handle him and keep him safe. Essentially Mr. Kennedy was an asset the agency couldn’t afford to lose, but they also couldn’t exactly tell him he was in danger. Mainly because they didn’t know who the danger was… or when it was coming… or why. Or at least that’s what Arthur told you three just about six months ago.
The bottom line was you basically knew nothing aside from the mission being one of those ‘save the world’ kinds. Eggsy couldn’t think too long on that bit though because suddenly Roxy stepped forward blocking his entrance to the office sporting a deep frown.
“Uh, everything’s good— fine… just peachy.” she pushed a smile across her face, but Eggsy had spent enough time alongside her to know better and even though her voice was soft and quiet it rung loudly with hesitation on every syllable.
“‘Peachy’?” Eggsy brows lifted suspiciously and his lips pushed tightly together.
“What? I can’t say peachy now?” she crossed her arm trying for casual, her smile only slightly more convincing.
“You think I don know by now that you only say that shit when you’re lyin’?” Eggsy danced in place; trying to push past Roxy’s impenetrable wall of a body.
“I do not!” Roxy scoffed looking to the side briefly wondering if in fact she did… but even in her momentary distraction she didn’t budge.
“Uh…” he paused letting an awkward laugh slip, finally feeling the true weight pressing down on him. “’s’cuse me, Rox, but I gotta get in there, yeah?”
“You really don’t.” Roxy narrowed her eyes almost apologetically as she stare him down, selecting her next words more carefully than the last. “Will you just trust me on this?”
Eggsy could feel his pulse rising and his cheeks growing warmer with each second, and he knew that if Roxy was keeping him from something— it would be something he needed keeping from… But even knowing that he felt an itch begin scratching; begging for him to just run his fingers over it; to satisfy the sting that ran beneath his skin…
“Cut the shit— we ain’t got time for your games right now, do we?” and when Eggsy spoke it was clear he was nervous. His tone came off far ruder than intended and immediately he wished he hadn’t been so stern with her. It wasn’t Roxy’s fault after all, but after the day he’d had it was hard for him not to lash out.
Roxy pulled her gaze from her feet locking her eyes tightly to his; having not missed his bark and no longer fearing his bite… this time the look she held was near indifference. As if whatever was coming next he deserved. “Fine… but don’t say I didn’t try warning you.”
Eggsy didn’t move at first, he merely widened his eyes as shock replaced his drained expression. He tossed Roxy a look that said he was sorry, and for a moment he thought she understood. For a moment he almost turned around and left like her eyes pleaded him to do… But ultimately his curiosity got the best of him, like it always did.
What’s that old expression… curiosity killed the cat? He never could remember the last part…
He sighed shaking his head lightly with jaw clenched and hands pulled into tight fists as he stepped past Roxy into the office. When he reached the desk he didn’t look at the monitor but to Roxy again… to her eyes which shifted once more from indifference to something closer to sorrow.
She was standing with her arms still tightly crossed and leaned deeply into the frame of the doorway. She was fiddling anxiously with the fabric at her elbow and Eggsy was having a hard time pulling his gaze from her… but once again curiosity began its creeping itch and before he could think too hard on what that look meant he began shifting his gaze downward.
Eggsy drew in a deep breath as his eyes ended on the monitor— ready for anything… only once he saw what he so desperately needed shielding from, he realized nothing could have prepared him for this; and just like any bite once you touched it, the persistent burning became relentless, begging for more and more— the thirst never being quenched… leaving your skin reddened and raw and your mind unrested.
There you were in the center of the screen… The long silky gown you wore earlier was tossed to the side effortlessly. Your hair was spread across a pillow like a wave, with arms and legs wrapped fervidly around your target… Pressing into him, sliding your fingers through his hair and up his back amorously.
Eggsy couldn’t hear any sounds from the room, but he could see them decorating your face as you pulled the mans hair tighter between your fist…
“I tr— I told you not to, Eggsy. Sh— Tristan is just doing her job.” Roxy looked almost just as hurt as he clearly felt and she stepped closer pulling her lip between her teeth sharply, wanting nothing more than to have stopped him.
Maybe she could have had she tried a little harder. Had she just told him no— not given in to his harmless lashing out. But that didn’t matter anymore because the damage had been done, and now she had to see this through.
If anyone knew just how much you two meant to each other, or how strong your bond was both on and off the field, it was Roxy. And believe that if it could have been her in there instead of you— she’d have done it in a heartbeat. But Derek Kennedy didn’t fall for her— he fell for you… so here you were in the middle of his bed while the man you loved watched…
And really Eggsy knew he shouldn’t be… He knew he should look away, that he should get back to work— but he couldn’t stop himself. His eyes were transfixed on you and that son of a bitch, and no matter how hard he wanted to he couldn’t fucking look away.
It bothered him, filled him with a sharp bubbling envy… but mostly it pained him more than anything else before; both physical and mental. Eggsy clenched his hands so tightly the skin broke beneath his nails, but he could hardly feel the pain that accompanied the small crescent shaped cuts. He could however feel the warm blood trickling between the cracks of his fingers, drip, drip, dripping; promising to stain the fibers of the carpet like the screen stained his mind.
In that moment it didn’t matter that this was the plan all along… It didn’t matter that sometimes sex was a part of your missions as Kingsmen agents. None of it seemed to matter, and suddenly he felt nothing.
Eggsy reminded himself that this was one of those missions. That one of you were to seduce the target and gain access to his private life. More accurately become a part of that private life; and here you were having done your job perfectly— but the pang of your success only poisoned his mind like oil in water.
He felt those thick, inky veins taking root as they spread between the cracks, and with each sharp thump of his heart that darkness grew; pulling him deeper into madness…
Eggsy couldn’t focus on how much time had passed or on how hard he was breathing. He couldn’t feel the way his chest rose and dropped, but once he felt Roxy shaking his arm he came back to the room— back to reality and you were no longer pinned beneath another man.
While his mind rushed a thousand miles a minute he hadn’t even noticed if you’d actually… If you really had been… With the way you were laying next to Derek now, he knew you must have. The lightness of your face, and the way your fingertips stroked his hair affectionately screamed one thing and one thing only; and as Eggsy continued staring at that screen he realized something else.
That Derek was completely in love with you. If Eggsy didn’t know any better he’d of thought you really loved him back— hell, maybe you did… a year undercover could do that to someone, couldn’t it? Plus, this was you he was talking about… Unstoppable force of fuckin’ nature and Eggsy knew first hand just how incredible you were, and even though you were wrapped in the arms of someone else, you were so damn beautiful to him.
You looked so happy that he couldn’t be upset with you even if his feelings were justified.
You weren’t his— not really. Not in the actual sense of being someone else’s… You weren’t his and you never would be, all thanks to one big lie hidden between several tiny truths.
He’d told you it would never work because of the nature of your jobs. That he’d tried relationships and that they didn’t mix with Kingsman. That you were his best friend and that mattered more than anything else.
And all of that was true, because your positions didn’t really allow for relationships and when he tried one with Tilde it backfired in his face… But the biggest lie he’d ever told was that he didn’t love you when you asked him.
In truth there wasn’t much Eggsy loved besides you, but in his mind telling you he didn’t was the best way to protect you though— the only real way to protect you…
Nothing could have prepared him for when you believed him though. For the way it felt when your eyes changed before him. No, nothing could have prepared him for when he saw the exact second your heart broke into a thousand pieces, and in that moment he hated himself.
He hated himself, but he knew it was all to keep you safe. That it would be worth it in the end…
Only now as he watch Derek wrap his arms around you; pulling you into a tight embrace, all he could feel was regret.
“A-are you alright, Eggsy?” Roxy asked softly from his side as she raised her hand to his elbow; squeezing it lightly offering any form of support she could.
Eggsy cleared his throat pulling his mouth into a weak, unconvincing smile with azure eyes painted painfully. After a nod he shoved his bloodied hand into his pocket, and pressed towards the door, throwing his reply over his shoulder like it was nothing at all.
“Jus peachy, Rox… Jus fuckin’ peachy.”