Chapter Text
demyxitup added imzexyandiknowit, soratheexplorer, and pimp_daddy to the chat Happy Holidays!
imzexyandiknowit: I'm surprised. I thought you would be more creative with your name
demyxitup: Hey, don't be mean to me, I'm your boyfriend >:(
pimp_daddy: that's what you think
demyxitup: what?
pimp_daddy: ;)
soratheexplorer: kai, why is your name pimp daddy?
pimp_daddy: oh, that was something zex and i came up with a few years ago that i never changed. it started as a dare and i never bothered to change it
demyxitup: i'm afraid to ask why he chose pimp daddy tho
imzexyandiknowit: ;)
pimp_daddy: ;)
demyxitup: yep, i regret everything
imzexyandiknowit: that's not what you said last night
soratheexplorer: Dem, what did you do to him?
pimp_daddy: Oh ho ho, it wasn't dem that fucked this boy up
imzexyandiknowit: ;)
pimp_daddy: ;)
soratheexplorer: these two shouldn't be allowed to be friends
demyxitup: too late
demyxitup: anyway, I just wanted to say happy holidays to everyone, but also not to everyone, if that makes sense
imzexyandiknowit: No, it doesn't make sense, but it's you, so we'll pretend it does. Because we love you
demyxitup: ZEXY!
imzexyandiknowit: ;)
demyxitup: you use that emote too much
imzexyandiknowit: ;)
soratheexplorer: hey, kai, where are you, anyway?
pimp_daddy: hanging with my brothel madame of course
1 picture uploaded by pimp_daddy
soratheexplorer: are you eating candy canes?
demyxitup: are you wearing Santa hats?
pimp_daddy: really dem? we're deep throating candy canes and all you can focus on are our hats?
imzexyandiknowit: He's got a kink for me in holiday garb I guess
pimp_daddy: damn, wish Sora had a kink
soratheexplorer: O_O
pimp_daddy: guess that's what i have zex for, tho
demyxitup: uh...
pimp_daddy: ;)
demyxitup: anyway...
demyxitup: You're eating your candy canes wrong
pimp_daddy: no we're not
soratheexplorer: yes you are
imzexyandiknowit: If you don't eat your candy canes this way, you're wrong
soratheexplorer: no, you start on the curved end
pimp_daddy: kinky
imzexyandiknowit: You start on the stick end
pimp_daddy: bow chicka bow wow
imzexyandiknowit: ;)
pimp_daddy: ;)
demyxitup: what have I done?
imzexyandiknowit: You've allowed Sora to see what Kairi and I are actually like
pimp_daddy: THUS RELEASING HELL ONTO THIS POOR EARTH
soratheexplorer: YOU'RE STILL WRONG ABOUT THE CANDY CANES!
pimp_daddy: I'M NOT WRONG, YOU'RE WRONG!
soratheexplorer: NO I'M NOT, I'LL PROVE IT!
soratheexplorer added aflac, goofy_in_bed, and LordOfTheMice to the chat Happy Holidays!
soratheexplorer: HOW DO YOU EAT CANDY CANES?
aflac: why are you yelling?
soratheexplorer: JUST ANSWER IT!
LordOfTheMice: I start on the curved end
soratheexplorer: THANK YOU!
pimp_daddy: YOU'RE WRONG MOUSE BOY!
LordOfTheMice: Who is pimp daddy?
pimp_daddy: Kairi
LordOfTheMice: Kairi!? What kind of a name is that for a girl like you?
pimp_daddy: zex and i got sick of being perfect
imzexyandiknowit: so we got PERVect
pimp_daddy: ;D
imzexyandiknowit: ;)
demyxitup: *sigh*
pimp_daddy: back to the candy canes
pimp_daddy: YOU'RE SO WRONG
aflac: YOU'RE WRONG! TELL HER GOOFY!
goofy_in_bed: well...
imzexyandiknowit: HE'S ON OUR SIDE!
goofy_in_bed: I didn't know starting from the curve was a thing
pimp_daddy: HE'S ONE OF US!
imzexyandiknowit: ONE OF US
pimp_daddy: ONE OF US
goofy_in_bed: What have I done?
soratheexplorer: kai, zex, why are you like this?
pimp_daddy: ALL OF THE SUGAR!
1 picture uploaded by pimp_daddy
LordOfTheMice: What are you doing!?
pimp_daddy: seeing if we can light alcohol bubbles on fire
imzexyandiknowit: It's not working too well
imzexyandiknowit: I feel like Axel should be here
pimp_daddy: WAIT, AX KNOWS HOW TO EAT CANDY CANES!
pimp_daddy added fire_crotch to the chat Happy Holidays!
fire_crotch: i don't think i wanna know
pimp_daddy: HOW DO YOU EAT A CANDY CANE?
imzexyandiknowit: AND DO YOU WANT TO LIGHT ALCOHOL BUBBLES WITH US?
fire_crotch: yo eat it from the stick end and oF COURSE I WANT TO BLOW UP BUBBLES, WHY WASN'T I INVITED EARLIER?
imzexyandiknowit: You don't want the answer to that
fire_crotch: are you still upset about me burning your book? I SAID I WAS SORRY!
imzexyandiknowit: YOU BURNED MY BOOK. YOU NEVER BURN MY BOOKS! BUT NOW I NEED YOU TO BURN MY BUBBLES, SO GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE
demyxitup: WAIT, AREN'T YOU GUYS AT OUR PLACE? ZEX, IF YOU BURN DOWN OUR HOUSE I SWEAR TO GOD
imzexyandiknowit: Why would I burn down our house? I'M NOT STUPID, UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE
demyxitup: :O relationship over!
imzexyandiknowit: I was actually referring to Axel
fire_crotch: >:O just for that, i'm not gonna burn your bubbles
pimp_daddy: kinky
imzexandiknowit: You know you're going to come over, don't try and deny it
fire_crotch: ...
imzexyandiknowit: And buy me a new book, asshole
pimp_daddy: ooh, burn
fire_crotch: didn't i get added because of some weird candy cane debate? because if we're starting discourse, we need to add everyone
fire_crotch added roxass, mansex, spearmedaddy, getxiggywithit, rock_hard, science_vixen, pup_pup_wolf, rollmedaddy, flower_power, PMSpersonified, cloudywithachanceofmeatballs, talktoawall, talktoasquall, beeewbs, flower_girl, and chokemedaddy
demyxitup: there's a lot of daddy names
chokemedaddy: sigh
spearmedaddy: It wasn't my decision
rollmedaddy: I have a daddy kink
soratheexplorer: O_O
pimp_daddy: kinky
imzexyandiknowit: Looking for employment?
rollmedaddy: As honored as I am that you thought of me, I'm going to have to decline
imzexyandiknowit: Your loss
LordOfTheMice: I don't think I want to be a part of this chat
fire_crotch: DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE YOU SON OF A BITCH
demyxitup: woah, dude, calm down
imzexyandiknowit: Okay, let's just get this done with. How do you eat a candy cane?
roxass: curved end
fire_crotch: H E A T H E N
imzexyandiknowit: You really shouldn't have started discourse if you didn't want your relationship to end
roxass: you start on the stick end?
fire_crotch: yes, like a NORMAL person!
roxass: relationship over!
mansex: Stick end or curve end, it's not worse than what Saix does.
pup_pup_wolf: YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH!
imzexyandiknowit: NOW YOU HAVE TO TELL US. I'M WITH KAIRI, WE'RE WAITING EAGERLY WHILE EATING OUR CANDY CANES
pimp_daddy: HE'S RIGHT, TELL US NOW
mansex: He just bites off chunks. He doesn't lick or suck or anything
pimp_daddy: not even YOUR candy cane?
mansex: Please stop
pup_pup_wolf: I can't believe you exposed me like this
mansex: It's terrifying, honestly
PMSpersonified: I don't want to deal with their shit anymore. I start from the curved end
flower_power: you ARE the curved end
PMSpersonified: what does that even mean?
flower_power: i don't actually know. i can't believe you start at the curved end, what's wrong with you?
PMSpersonified: I like a challenge. that's why I'm dating you
flower_power: i would say i'm offended, but you're not wrong
getxiggywithit: Stick end, always
spearmedaddy: You just like getting speared
getxiggywithit: Soemtimes I like to do the spearing
spearmedaddy: Soemtimes
getxiggywithit: Shut up, you know what I mean
rock_hard: I don't eat candy canes
science_vixen: I don't either
imzexyandiknowit: H E A T H E N S
rock_hard: You eat them?
imzexyandiknowit: I literally just said I was eating one with Kairi
science_vixen: You two spend too much time together
pimp_daddy: he's my bitch with a clipboard
imzexyandiknowit: co-workers in crime
pimp_daddy: literally
chokemedaddy: I can't believe I'm dating her
soratheexplorer: ...what side DO you start on
chokemedaddy: ...the stick end
soratheexplorer: I'M DATING HEATHENS
science_vixen: Do you even know what that means?
talktoawall: Why am I even here?
cloudywithachanceofmeatballs: STICK END, I'M OUT!
talktoawall: YOU WHAT!?
talktoasquall: i love trouble in paradise
talktoawall: You think you're funny with that name, Yuffie, but you're not
talktoasquall: i'm hilarious
flower_girl: I think you should go after your boyfriend
talktoawall: I'm sitting on top of him, demanding he admit he's wrong
cloudywithachanceofmeatball: I WILL NEVER. I'M RIGHT, YOU'RE WRONG
beeewbs: kinky?
pimp_daddy: kinky
beeewbs: someone catch this on camera
imzexyandiknowit: kinky
cloudywithachanceofmeatballs: hey, tif, don't you have a sex tape?
beeewbs: aerith and i watch it every night
flower_girl: i feel so exposed
talktoasquall: i wanna see it!
chokemedaddy: don't we all?
soratheexplorer: riku!
pimp_daddy: i produced it
soratheexplorer: KAIRI!
pup_pup_wolf: no one ever asked how mansex here eats candy canes
mansex: I don't, but thank you for changing the subject
imzexyandiknowit: You liar! We had candy canes like a week ago!
mansex: THAT NEVER HAPPENED
pup_pup_wolf: YOU LIED TO ME!? I WANTED TO EAT CANDY CANES!
demyxitup: why did you want candy canes so badly?
pimp_daddy: something kinky, probably
demyxitup: not everything is kinky, kairi
pimp_daddy: tell me about it, i haven't had morning sex in months
chokemedaddy: meet me in bed tomorrow morning ;)
pimp_daddy: make sure to cuff me to the bed ;)
soratheexplorer: breakfast in bed ;)
imzexyandiknowit: Look at that, Sora being pervy
soratheexplorer: i've been exposed! BY MYSELF!
chokemedaddy: Nice job, Sor
demyxitup: i noticed a lot of people haven't spoken up for a while, are you still there?
science_vixen: We're still here, unfortunately
rock_hard: We're just ignoring you
beeewbs: watching my sex tape
flower_girl: And recreating it, tbh
imzexyandiknowit: Dem, I'm coming home, Kairi keeps singing about getting laid and I don't want details right now
demyxitup: you think i want you in my house after you admitted that you eat candycanes wrong?
imzexyandiknowit: I'll try it your way if you try it mine
demyxitup: ...keep saying stuff like that
PMSpersonified: OK, I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE
flower_power: I'm with you
rock_hard: It's late, everyone should go to bed
getxiggywithit: That's not what everyone's going to do and you know it
science_vixen: EVERYONE JUST STOP TEXTING
fire_crotch: i'm sorry i started this all, good night everyone
demyxitup: all the couples here that argued, it's cuddle time, get over it, it's just candy canes
fire_crotch: aren't you the one that started this argument
demyxitup: GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE