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SATURDAY, 10th JUNE.
Harry’s POV
Ever since I saw Ed today, he has been glowing. I never wanted any of my friends to find the love of their life as much I wanted this for him. It has been a few years now that I know him. I saw Ed at his worst and words cannot express how happy I am today to see him at his best. Just by observing his body language, I could tell he was excited and nervous. But mostly excited.
I approached him, as an old lady was playing with his ginger hair.
- How are you doing, mate? – he shot at me before I got a chance to open my mouth. How am I doing? To be honest, I do not know. I might be selfish, but at times like these, I don't think about myself too much. Not enough to know how I feel about seeing her again, that is all I know.
- Well, I am doing fine. I am excited and surprised you really didn't see Cherry’s dress. What kind of comedy is this?
We both laughed and the old lady sighed at Ed ruining her work by shaking his head.
- She wanted to keep it a secret. I really didn't have a word in this discussion, you know. Whatever they picked, I am sure she is going to look great.
Ed got a bit pale when he realized what he just said. It must have been hard for him to not bring Taylor’s name in our conversations regardless wedding. Especially when she was the one helping Cherry with almost everything. The dress was not an exception. I know, I follow Cherry on social media. That one Instagram story showing Taylor surrounded by white dresses? I would gladly erase it from my memory if I only could. I didn't want to bring her topic either, it is just two hours before the ceremony. I have nothing planned apart from playing it all cool.
And if there is one thing Harry is definitely not good at then it must be playing things cool.
Before I managed to say something, the old lady broke the silence.
- Ed, I think you are ready now. Honestly, there is nothing else I could do to your hair. It is nowhere near as thick at your father’s.
I gave both a bit of confused look. There surely was a reason why Ed hired a retired hairdresser, but I truly did not need to know it.
- Thank you, Ms. Brown, I love it.
Ed checked himself in the mirror then gently grabbed the hand that managed to harness his hair and kissed it. Ms. Brown whipped a tear that unconditionally left her right eye.
- Be good to her, I know you are going to be good to her, aren’t you?
- Yes, ma’am. I will be better than just ‘good’. I promise you.
She kissed his forehead and left men unaccompanied. I rested both palms on Ed’s shoulders.
- Are you sure about this?
Harry did not know if the question was about his friend being ready to marry Cherry, being ready for the ceremony or the promise he just gave. Maybe, he was asking himself if he is truly ready to face Taylor, after all those moments.
- Actually, I am not. I am scared as fuck Harry. But I know she is ready, and she is going to guide me in this.
I slapped Ed’s on the back.
- Well, let’s do this man!
Taylor’s POV
- Taylor? – Cherry quietly said more to herself than out into the world.
- Yeah? Is it too tight? Please, tell me if it is. I do not want you to have a headache on your wedding day. – I murmured with hair-slides in my mouth. Cherry slowly turned around to face me.
- It is all good. It is perfect. I want you to know that I appreciate every single little thing you did for us these past two months. We are not brilliant at managing ceremonies, we barely manage our cats. I think what I am trying to say is that this all would not happen without you. I know you volunteered and I know you want to say that is what friends do to each other. But… - her voice broke down a bit. – but this is way more, I feel your support and love with every step me and Ed take on this journey. You were here for us since the beginning. Since that party on 4th of July. - she grabbed my hands and tied with hers with so much power it almost hurt. - I don’t know if I will ever have a chance to pay you back. This emotional strength you gave me is something I will never forget you. You helped us, so we could enjoy this time of our lives with full potential. I want you to know I am honored that you agreed to say a few words during the party, your speech is the one I cannot wait to hear. I just love you so much. – by the last word, the two of us were ugly crying not caring much about the two-hour time left.
- I love both of you more than you can imagine and yes, that is exactly what friends do. I am grateful you gave me permission, you let me help with organizing the most important day in your lives by now. The next one on my list is a baby shower and I already have a concept in my mind. – we burst in laugh and if someone looked at us, they would assume we lost our minds.
- I love the fact that you can joke at times such stressful.
- I am not joking! – I screamed.
I was not joking.
- Do you think he is going to like it? – she pointed at a beautiful long-sleeved wedding dress hanging by the wardrobe. I sighed.
- I am sure he is going to love it. At the end of the day, it was you who chose it. He trusts you with his heart and I am sure he trusts you with the dress choice.
I turned her back to face the mirror.
- I am too lucky. I have him, it is really becoming official today. It seems so unreal. Have you thought about your wedding details?
Yes.
- No, please. I barely managed to work on your ceremony. My time will come eventually. It is not like someone is planning on purposing to me any soon. I have time.
I hated myself for saying this. I knew that, Cherry knew that, but for some reason saying it all loud made my heartbeat stop. The last thing that I wanted to do is to upset people. Everyone could have either been happy or excited. Preferably happily excited. No need for boring Taylor to say ugly things.
- Are you looking forward to seeing him? I saw a pic of him and Ed from that tennis session. He looks hot. Shit, I am getting married in two hours, I should not say things like this.
- That is all right! The last two hours and then you are basically stuck with the ginger one! - I laughed to get rid of the bittersweet thoughts coming to my mind. - I am. He is not coming here for me. It is not like he went somewhere just for me anyway. I think what I am trying to say is that I am glad he is going to be here for Ed. They shared a lot of emotional moments and that all led them to what we are celebrating today.
I honestly cannot imagine this wedding without him, no matter how pathetic this sounds. I hope he is going to bring nice gifts though. Not cakes, I took care of it. I felt like Harry would choose a better wedding cake that I did. I had no idea where that feeling came from. It is just memories starting to have their own party in my mind.
- I hope you are going to have a moment to talk. You deserve explanations, so does he.
I knew she was right. I should have called him multiple times by now and apologized for what I did to him too. I never did. I never told him what I should and wanted to. The timing was just not right, I guess. But I still remember the feeling inside my chest, late in the night when I went to that website to check who confirmed their presence and his name was written in green, which meant he was coming. By that time, I knew I would not be coming with Joe. The week after we broke up. Ed invited him anyway and I have no idea if he will show up.
- Maybe next time. I really do not want drama.
Cherry looked in the mirror and found my eyes.
- Taylor, fuck this all and the possible drama. Promise me that you are going to clean things up with him if you get a chance to. You cannot run from this forever. You are capable of preparing the whole wedding for a pair of friends and you want to tell me you will fail at talking to your ex? I don’t want to hear this bullshit.
I smiled at her knowing she was right. I got to know how to avoid people and difficult conversations from Harry himself. The one I was about to face today.
- I promise, Cherry.
Someone quietly knocked on the door. We both screamed, “it is open unless you are Ed!”.
- I am here to do a wedding makeup for the bride.
A middle-aged woman came in.
- You surely are. Cherry this is Alana, Alana this is Cherry, the bride. I am going to leave you now ladies. I need to prepare myself too. I am going to see you both in church, right?
- Yes, Taylor. Take care! – Alana screamed at my back.
- Taylor? – Cherry’s sweet voice stopped me half my way to the door.
- Yes? – I looked over my shoulder at her.
- Thank you, again, for everything.
I smiled back at her not being able to say a thing. I got a lump in my throat and caught myself with tears streaming down my face. I started running to get out of the building as soon as possible. The next second I felt a growing pain in my chest, as I ran over something (somebody) with my full speed.
- Are you alright? You must be in a rush!
I heard a cheerful voice and my heart dropped to the ground.
No, Lord, not now.
- Taylor?
I hate that I traveled the entire world, and nobody pronounces my name the way HE does. Or maybe I met thousands of people with a Northern British accent who say my name in the exact same way, but I never wanted to acknowledge that. Out of all the galas, I went to, all the parties I attended looking better than whatever I was at that moment, he never came around.
Harry’s POV
It has always been hard looking at her pain. Somehow, I still have dreams about the look on her face when I let her go. You can get used to seeing people happy – I got. You can be fine seeing people nervous – I am fine with that too. You can learn how to ignore people’s rudeness – I learned. You can accept the fact they people fear and being hurt – she accepted my fears but all I did was hurt her and I will never accept that. I will never get used to seeing her pain.
- Taylor, are you okay?
I might be pathetic, but I missed the opportunity to say her name to her face. We haven’t seen each other in person for ages, I knew it would change today. I missed being able to call her by her name just for us to hear. Or for everyone, truly I do not care anymore.
- I am fine. Thank you-
I knew she was not and the fact that she stopped herself from saying my name made me not fine at all too. It felt like two dead souls standing and facing each other. One killed the other. I remembered how we used to stand opposite to each other and kept taking close-up pictures of the details of our faces. At that moment, we were just two ghost souls standing in the place of me and her old selves.
I tried to speak up, to say at least hi but I could not.
- I am, in fact, in a rush, so excuse me.
She passed by me, not giving me a single glance. I should have said something or stopped her. It is not the first time I let her slip through my hands like that. However, what did my dumb self do? I turned around and watched her messy curly hair flew in the air as she ran towards the exit.
- TAYLOR WAIT!
I honestly never screamed that loud and with so much passion. She turned to face me just before she pushed the doors.
- Harry, please don’t.
That is what I got in response, left all alone still able to smell her perfume. After all these years, she did not change them.
***
The ceremony went as planned. Everyone cried.
Seeing all the people being truly happy for newly married couple made Taylor’s heart grew. It was difficult for her to stay focused and in charged so she gave her instructions to the restaurant crew and asked them to ask questions if anything would raise their concerns. She took her seat right next to Ed’s best man and his partner. After speeches given by parents from both sides and the bridesmaid followed by the bridesman, it was Taylor’s turn.
She stood up with shaking hands, which caused her trouble holding the piece of paper that she carried with her just in case she got stuck.
“Hello everyone, my name is Taylor and I am gladly introducing myself as a long-standing friend of Cherry and Ed. Please, excuse my trembling voice, I assure you this is the most rehearsed speech ever and I spent hours on polishing it. First of all, this feels like my bigger brother getting married and I feel really emotional, so those damn hours might not help at all. I want to say that I am proud of who we came here for tonight. Two human beings that could not fit together any better. I saw them at their worst and I am the proudest little sister to experience their best with them tonight. I want to believe that it all started on 4th of July. I threw a big party and Ed asked me if he could bring a friend of his. I agreed because my friends’ friends are my friends. I got a little surprised when the day after I was going through pictures we took on that day and in the background of one of them they kissed. It was supposed to be a secret, but it is not anymore, so we can fast forward to Christmas period just last year. I was sitting in my room watching some rom-com I tried to remember the title, but it left my head and is not coming back any soon. As I was saying I was in the middle of it, the pair just got all gorgeous with each other, when the phone rang. I saw it was a call from abroad, so I decided not to pick. However, that person called again and it turned out to be Ed. He went all shy saying “I did it. I kneed.” I did not ask because I was perfectly aware of the fact that this beautiful woman said yes. I started sobbing, my mind went all blurry. ED IS REALLY GETTING MARRIED! That is all I screamed at the phone and hung up on him. Well, I am good at this. – she nervously laughed and found Harry’s face which was fully focused on her and now smiling on her quick remark. – In panic, I called Cherry instead of Ed and kept congratulating them for a good damn hour. We cried and laughed but, oh God we were so happy. I wasn’t that happy for a long time and happier ever since that day. If you have a best friend, a bigger-in-fact-not-brother who managed to go from a very low point in his life to having a beautiful angel as his fiancé, you understand that miracles happen. They have faces and hearts and Ed’s one has Cherry’s face and heart. It goes the other way around as well. I sound all cheesy, but I am getting to the final point, where I encourage you all to experience Cherry and Ed’s miracle, to be happy for them and to support in their decision because there is a whole new chapter that they just started today. Me, speaking for myself, I want you both to know that you are my miracle and I would like to love you and support your happiness as long as you want me to be around and in your lives. Cherry, Ed, I love you with all my heart and more, I want you to be the happiest in the world in your own meaning of happiness. To Cherry and Ed!” Taylor raised the glass of champagne and faced Harry who was now standing and clapping all alone in the room. Not for long though, everyone else joined him pretty quick, but Taylor saw what she was supposed to see.
Then there was the first dance. They did not pick a certain song. They danced to music from an unreleased Ed’s love ballad. He wrote it down two weeks after that phone call, with Taylor in a studio in London. Some people expected it to be one of Ed’s songs, some predicted it to be one of Taylor’s tracks. Somehow it fit the scenario perfectly and the fact that Ed’s used his own heartbeat as an instrument in this got Cherry emotional and she teared up a bit just, so Ed could cheer her up with the littlest “I love you, this is all for you silly”.
She left the pair dancing and headed to the kitchen to check up things with the team. It took her good 20 minutes to go with them through the whole list. When assured they had full control over what was happening, she made her way back to the dancing room. Lights were doing an excellent job; the moon was dancing through the window and Taylor caught herself thinking about Harry for the first time since she finished her speech. Then a very familiar song came on. Bryan Adams had a permanent place in her heart with all those beautiful songs she cried to.
She felt pressure on around her right elbow and turned to see Harry’s beautiful face in moon’s light.
Moon dances over his good side.
- Can I have this dance? – he asked with trembling voice and even if Taylor would like to refuse the shiver that went through her body betrayed her.
- So, you dance now? – she said when talking Harry’s hand and leading them into the crowd.
- No, not really. I am not much for dancing still, but for you I did… I do. – he said just before the first lyric of the song played.
Clue number one was when you knocked on my door.
Taylor smiled at the accuracy of the song. Truth was that she prayed for one more chance to dance with Harry to Bryan Adams.
Clue number two was the look that you wore.
The lyrical inspiration behind I wish you would could easily inspire Adams with this line, too.
An' that's when I knew it was a pretty good sign,
That something was wrong up on cloud number nine.
Well it's a long way up,
And we won't come down tonight.
They both got a bit red when they heard this part. Since they both expected each other to be here tonight, it was quite obvious they were about to end up sending the night together. The fact that Joe was not here, made it all look so easy. Cause it was not going to last more than this one night.
Well it may be wrong,
But baby it sure feels right.
Since they both were single and desperate to experience their own miracles it was not THAT wrong. Before the chorus came on, Harry pulled Taylor extremely close, to the point where their noses almost touched.
And the moon is out and the stars are bright,
And whatever comes gonna be alright,
'Cause tonight you will be mine,
Up on cloud number nine.
Taylor remembered that the roof is made of glass and felt the need to see if the starts are in fact bright, because she was perfectly aware that the moon is out. She saw it on Harry’s face.
And there ain't no place that I'd rather be,
And we can't go back but you're here with me,
Yeah, the weather is really fine,
Up on cloud number nine.
Harry wasted no time on looking at the stars when the brightest thing in his whole existence was just in front of him.
- Taylor, there is really no other place I would rather be right now, and I know we cannot turn back time, but I am grateful that you are here tonight.
Now he hurt you and you hurt me,
And that wasn't the way it was supposed to be,
So baby tonight let's leave the world behind,
And spend some time up on cloud number nine.
- This is mutual, Harry. For this one night, I really want us to leave all the mess that we are behind.
As the chorus goes repeatedly till the end, they danced close to each other like they used to do when they were younger. Taylor was holding on to Harry and he was holding on to her, both were making memories with which they were going to be left in the morning.
As Bryan Adams was singing the very last lyric, a man’s voice interrupted whatever Harry and Taylor were doing.
- I think it is my turn now. – Joe sounded confident and selfish for some reason. As Taylor was still in Harry’s arms, she felt all his muscles tensed with every said word.
- Do you think so? – Harry responded before she could speak her mind.
- Well, I guess, you had your time, didn’t he? – Joe was now facing Taylor whose chicks got all red and eyes wet.
- Joe, please do not start this. – she said through her teeth.
- Miss Swift, I am not starting anything, I would love just to dance with you. – he smiled ironically at both of them, Harry was definitely not having this.
- Listen, pretty boy… - he started, but Taylor interrupted him when she took his face in her palms. He was now back to face her, and his expression went to soft one all again. She leaned to kiss him on a cheek.
– Harry, I will dance with Joe now. – and she let go of his arms that were now hanging powerlessly.
- You heard her. – Joe kept putting oil into the fire but got nothing in return. Harry left the two of them while rubbing his eyes.
***
Taylor walked Joe to the exit. She might have been separated with Harry for just 30 minutes but after not seeing him for so long it felt like infinity. They hugged and he left her shivering from nobody knew what. The weather was really nice.
She made her way to find Harry. She promised to spend the night with him and she had no other plans. Some things with Joe needed clarification that he got and they both agreed it was better for him to leave just after congratulating the newly married.
Harry was nowhere to be found. He was not at the table, nor dancing in the crowd. Taylor got desperate and asked Ed if he saw him. Unfortunately, the last time he saw Harry was when he was leaving the room with a bottle of vodka and a bottle of wine.
She knew it was a pretty bad sign, he was probably sleeping somewhere by now. She tried to call him anyway. He picked up after the first signal.
- Taylor?
- Harry? Are you okay?
- Define okay, please.
- Thanks God, tell where are you at?
- Why does it matter anyway? Where is Joe! This is the real question.
- Please, Harry. I sent him home. I need to know where you are.
He stopped replying, but she could hear him breathe. For some reason, it was calming, but she woke up a minute after knowing she needed to find him.
- Harry, are you okay?
- Taylor, define okay for fuck’s sake!
- Don’t yell at me.
- Taylor? – he sounded so vulnerable, just like when she rang off ages ago.
- Yes?
- Which of the 25 cupcakes I gave you on your birthday was the best?
- Harry, we are not having this conversation right now. Please, tell me where you are.
- My personal favorite remains the one that you dirtied your nose with. Even though it was disgustingly sweet. Yikes.
She heard ducks in the background. She immediately knew where he was. She just needed him to stay there.
- Mine was the chocolate one. I still get them when I am in the UK.
- Oh really? – he suddenly sounded so happy. Taylor was now passing the long corridor where they ran into each other in the afternoon. She saw a waiter with two bottles of wine. She took them from him and continued.
- Yeah, there were times when I went to London just to get them delivered to the flat.
- THE FLAT?
- Yes.
- Did Joe try that cupcake? Any cupcakes?
- No.
- Good. Very good.
- I would never, Harry.
- Really? Because you gave my old t-shirt to the ginger married one, didn’t you?
- Yes, I did. I was mad at you. I wanted you to be mad at me too, so you could confront me.
- Well, believe me, Miss Swift, I wanted.
- So why didn’t you?
- Being hang up on once is enough for a selfish one like me.
- I know, you knew I hadn’t hated you.
- No. That was exactly what I wanted to. But I was never sure.
- How was it to wake up to a girl who looked like me? Did you really almost say my name?
- No. I actually did it, but I was too ashamed to put it on the record. That girl, by the way, she ran away.
- I feel kind of sorry.
- How is it you feel kind of sorry about everyone but not me?
- It is not true.
- Yes, it is.
- No, Harry.
- Yes, Taylor.
By the time she saw him from afar. He was sitting by the little lake on his expensive jacket. She wanted to hang up, but she knew she couldn’t do this to him.
- Harry, hang up on me.
- I would never.
- I can see you, please hang up. I don’t want to be the one doing this again.
- Then don’t.
He put his phone down but didn’t hang up.
She sat next to him, opened a bottle of wine and started to drink.
- Hello, it is okay. – Harry took the bottle from her. – You are not getting drunk, it is your bigger brother wedding, don’t forget that.
- Stop making fun of me. – She said hurt and reached for the bottle, but he put it on the other side.
- Do you want to go inside? You are freezing. – He suggested.
- I am okay.
- Define okay. – Harry said, and she rolled her eyes at this. He stood up and offered a hand. – Don’t be stubborn. I know we both stubborn and that is when it got hard, so please don’t.
She took his hand but remembered the remaining wine too. Harry with his huge hands carelessly carried the bottle of vodka that he brought with himself and half empty Taylor’s wine.
Taylor led them into a guest room.
- We are not having sex, are we? – Harry sounded weird. He asked her every time, but never put this into words like that.
- Of course not.
- I don’t know why you sound so sure. I mean, knowing us…
Taylor entered the bathroom leaving the doors open so Harry knew he was allowed to come in. It was always like that. When he entered the room, she was sitting in the bathtub, drinking wine and spilling it all over her expensive dress. He took a seat right in front of her. They kept talking for hours and ended up being drunk, she let him kiss her on both cheeks and forehead. Taylor fell asleep before him. Harry finished his bottle of vodka and stayed up an extra hour admiring her. He knew he fucked up. But maybe, the cloud number nine will last a little bit longer than just one night.
And we can't go back but you're here with me.