Chapter Text
Yoongi shifted on the bed, unable to fall asleep. Despite winter being near he felt hot all over, sweat making his clothes stick to his skin, making it uncomfortable and hard to fall asleep. What was the point in trying to sleep, anyway? He had all the next morning to do so, considering he had literally nothing to do all day. All week. If there was anything in the world he had, that was freetime. He decided to go to the balcony and light a cigarette, maybe that would help him get sleepy again.
A few months ago, Yoongi used to be a waiter and he lived alone in a tiny studio apartment. Since there were no good job offers in his area of expertise, working his life through exhausting and probably illegal shifts was the only way to pay his rent, and well, his life in general and everything that included.
He considered his waiting job a living hell, though. He earned the bare minimum, was asked to stay working until insane hours for a pathetic amount of extra money, people screamed at each other, he had had more than one accident while working (two times getting cuts from broken glass, once getting accidentally burned for accidentally placing his hand on a stove). Let's not even talk about the customers, god, so rude and even mean sometimes.
Of course, after months of coping with it the inevitable happened: a dramatic resignation, a breakdown and showing up at his boyfriend Hoseok’s tiny apartment covered in tears from sadness, frustration and rage all together. Hoseok answered to Yoongi's sadness with soothing words and the assurance that he could make room for him at his place, that he didn’t need to work for a while, that they were okay, that they were going to be okay, that they could build a life together. Yoongi cried that night, big fat tears because he felt like a failure, relieved tears because his horrible job was over, and mostly happy tears because he felt loved, taken care of, and he didn’t even feel a bit ashamed of receiving the help he, first of all, knew he needed and, second of all, knew Hoseok could provide him, at least for now.
Yoongi had started dating Hoseok almost three years ago. They met in college by having many friends in common, they had clicked effortlessly. What had started as a spring fling: secret dates and getaways ended once both of them, love sick and unsure of themselves, decided to talk about their relationship (if they could even call it that yet). Both had big expectations about their future together, so big they were afraid of saying it outloud, let alone to each other.
Before dating Hoseok, Yoongi wanted to have more of a private life: he saw no joy in the idea of sharing his life with someone, but the moment Hoseok came into his life the sole idea of waking up next to him made his stomach flip. He wanted to walk with him, read with him, eat with him, spend or lose his time with thing, anything in the world was better if he did it with him. Of course, he felt extremely flustered to say this directly to him, since he didn’t truly think Hoseok’s feelings were nearly as intense as his were.
So, after a few months of fooling around, Hoseok knocked on Yoongi’s dorm door late at night, violently, desperate, a drunken mess. Yoongi let him in and he started his speech. He said things, too many things, things he said he wouldn’t be able to say if he was sober. He expressed the fear of losing him after this, but he told him he loved him, that he was crazy about him, that his heart skipped a beat whenever he saw a bleached haired guy on campus and that it was his fault, that he wanted to be with him, that he saw a future with him, that the idea of a dog (“or a cat, whatever the fuck you prefer I’ll still love it”) and a house and a car and kids sounded like a dream if it was next to him.
Yoongi didn’t answer. He couldn’t find the words and Hoseok kept staring at him, panicking, until Yoongi finally said the words “a dog”. Hoseok was so utterly, deeply confused, and when Yoongi said “a dog, I’d rather have a dog than a cat”, Hoseok just smiled, lost it and kissed Yoongi full in the mouth, both of them smiling so hard their teeth kept clashing together. But it was okay, it was alright, even though they had kissed each other way too many times before, even though they had taken things way further before, it felt different that day, the day they started officially dating. Their relationship kept going steady and stronger each day. Both graduated together, started working together, and for Yoongi the idea of a future with Hoseok kept visiting his mind.
After Yoongi’s breakdown he left his old apartment and moved in with Hoseok, too little space for too many things. The apartment, located near a main subway station, was usually surrounded by traffic noise, sirens and lights from outside. There was a small kitchenette next to the front door, a living room with a big couch and shelves around it, glass coffee table (more often than not holding a cup with coffee dregs), and a big glass door that lead to a tiny balcony. Another door lead to the bedroom and bathroom, the bed using most of the space available.
Almost everyday Hoseok would bring remains of unsold flowers and plants, placing them inside of glasses or mugs, since they had long ago run out of available flower pots. However, Yoongi once complained that the flowers died too fast, and ever since that day Hoseok was more keen on buying actual plants with their original flower pots. A huge Monstera, Aloe (useful that one time they spent the day at the beach and came back painfully sunburned), ferns, Peperomias hanging from the ceiling, all of these filling every possible space available on the shelves. They even made a terrarium out of a fishbowl, tiny rocks and Succulents inside, placed on their nightstand. This made the air fresher, even a little bit humid, along with making the place feel cozy and lively.
At first things were okay, more than okay. More often than not, Yoongi would wake up past 11 am to a bowl of chopped fruit and cold coffee on the nightstand; a note with a happy, love filled message beside it. He would get up, not do much during the day, but it felt nice. He enjoyed working on his own music, cleaning the apartment, occasionally cooking (and when he did he enjoyed going over the top, preparing elaborated and fancy meals for him and Hoseok to enjoy for late dinner).
Hoseok could easily play the household leader role, his income high enough between the inherited flower shop he owned and worked at with his sister, and one on one dance lessons he taught every once in a while. He looked happy, he was glowing, and so was Yoongi. They often would invite their friends over, and have fun, and laugh and kiss and enjoy each other's presence. Not that he didn’t these days, but things had certainly changed.
It started after two months. Hoseok looked more stressed, yet he never expressed it towards Yoongi. Whenever a bill to pay would get home, Hoseok made sure to grab it before Yoongi did, and would keep him away from reading the digits. Whenever Yoongi looked at him, asking for an explanation, he would just shoot a tired smile towards him. “It’s okay”, he would say. “I can handle this. Don’t you worry”. Thing is, Yoongi was tired of the “I can handle it”, and wanted it to become a “we can handle it”.
He felt fragile and useless, not only for not helping financially speaking, but because Hoseok was so scared to show his true worries in front of him. Because he didn’t want to hurt him, which made him feel fragile once again. Yoongi knew it wasn’t only a money thing, he knew, but he didn’t know how to express it. He felt tired, so tired, and the worst part was that he felt like he had no reason to be tired, since he was doing pretty much nothing. He had everything he wanted: a place to live, a boyfriend who loved him, friends, everything, but he still went to bed every night feeling empty. The time alone used to be soothing and healing, but now it was overwhelming and scary. He wondered, if he was happy, why did he wake up to the dry trace of salty tears on his cheeks every morning. Why he went to bed feeling miserable and woke up after a few hours feeling just confused and even more tired than the night before.
Time kept passing and he started looking at job offers. Most of them were no qualification needed, too demanding jobs, and the sole idea of getting a job remotely similar to his past one was horrible. He felt like he needed a challenge, he needed to show his true abilities (for once). So when he found that a music company was looking for a junior for a recording engineer, he never felt more excited to brew coffee or do paperwork for a stranger. Even when the job was similar to the ones he despised, the sole idea of working in that environment gave him goosebumps, and he didn’t even think twice and sent an email to the address given (email he checked at least eight times even though he had already sent it).
Yoongi kept eagerly staring at his phone, waiting for a random beep to change his whole mood and mindset. 24 hours later, that beep never came. He looked a little bit gloomy the next morning, but Hoseok kissed his temple and told him to relax, that he would get the mail (and, of course, he also told him that he didn’t need to get a job just yet, to which Yoongi groaned). 48 hours later Yoongi had given up long ago, and apparently so had Hoseok. He just kept silent whenever he caught Yoongi unlocking his phone to refresh his emails, just to lock it again a few seconds later.
The next day, Yoongi woke up to an email requesting him to send his CV, along with the time, date and location for an interview. For some reason, the fact that they didn’t even ask him for his availability before scheduling the meeting gave him both a good vibe (they must be important) and a bad vibe (did they care enough about their employees?). Whatever, Yoongi thought. He could always turn down the job, though at this point he didn’t even consider that possibility. Still, he was lowkey having a panic attack, what could he wear? What should he say? Instead of letting overthinking make him crazy, he picked up a coat and walked to the flower shop, easily finding Hoseok in the back, preparing flowers for the arrangements. After telling him the news and expressing his worries, Hoseok calmed him down.
“You’ll do amazing, Yoongi. I wouldn’t even worry about it” he said, cutting stems and thorns from flowers and throwing them in a basket next to him. “It’s not even like it requires many qualifications, so you should be more than okay. Like… a university student in kindergarten” he said, laughing at his own lame joke.
“Have you ever heard about being overqualified for a job…” Yoongi said, playing with a dead leaf absentmindedly.
“That’s not your case though, right? I mean, I was joking Yoongi, just don’t worry. If you wanna impress, you have to look confident. Like when you fight me over something, shit, even I would agree if you said the sky was green” he said, for the first time lifting his gaze up to Yoongi’s, who was sitting on the table Hoseok was working on.
Yoongi smiled and looked down. “Shut up... “ and Hoseok laughed.
“As much as I love it when you get shy and adorable, just look like you own the show” he said, holding Yoongi's hand, making him drop the leaf he was playing with. “I love you, okay? It will be okay...” he said, pressing a kiss to Yoongi’s nose “...and, worst case scenario, you can look for a job some other time. Don’t stress about it”. Yoongi sighed and pulled away.
“I want to do it, I need to” he said, and Hoseok gave him a tired smile.
“Yeah, I know. Well, you can also work here. I actually need to hire someone… you know, since Dawon will be too busy to work everyday” he said, going back to cutting and throwing flower stems away. “Think about it: it’s close to home, you know the business, you would have the nicest and coolest boss ever” he said, smirking at him, and Yoongi faked a smile. Even though he didn’t mind spending all day with Hoseok, having him as a boss was the type of situation he was trying to avoid. Yoongi pressed his lips together. He honestly hated the idea, but he had to find a not so hard way to say it.
“That wouldn’t be… you know, okay”. Hoseok stood up straight.
“What do you mean by okay? You would work your hours, get paid… like every other job”
“You know what I mean” Yoongi said, more serious now. “I’m just… tired. And this seems like a good opportunity. I really don’t want to fuck it all up, you know?” he said, and Hoseok dropped was he was doing and placed his hands on Yoongi’s thighs.
“You’ll be good… believe me” he said, kissing the corner of his mouth. “You’ll get the job, you’ll do amazing, it’s okay. Don’t worry too much, ok?” He asked, to which Yoongi squirmed and nodded. Hoseok pecked his lips once, and again.
“I mean it. Go home and relax now, tomorrow’s a big day for you. Don’t worry about dinner, I got it, okay?” he said, and Yoongi pulled Hoseok closer, mumbling his answer against his shoulder. Hoseok laughed and stroked his hair lovingly. “It’s okay. Don’t worry”
So that’s how he ended up the next day, standing outside of the subway station, all bundled up to protect himself from the cold, dressed as professionally as he could. It wasn’t a common place for a job interview, he had to admit that to himself: it was a place known for having expensive, glamorous brands and coffee shops. He walked past a group of kids, probably not even in his twenties, looking amazing, yet truly lost and scared. He silently wished he looked just as good as they did, just slightly less lost. His wishes were probably unheard.
He entered the cafe and looked around. 5:54 pm. He was early, yet not early enough for it to be rude. Was it? It wasn’t, right? He tried to calm down and looked around. The cafe wasn’t full at all: just a few people studying, some chatting. It was a pretty nice place to have a job interview, he had to give that to the company. He decided to go out to the cold once again and wait there. Should he have a smoke? To calm the nerves? He was about to, when he thought smelling of smoke wouldn’t be the best tip for a first impression. After a few minutes, he kept checking if anyone fancy or bossy looking entered the cafe, yet he had no luck. It was 6:08 already, and his hands were starting to sweat. What if the person that was going to interview him was already there? What if they were thinking he was late? What if the interview was somewhere else? He checked his mail again, but it was no use. He was at the right place, at the right time. He sighed. At 6:12 he decided to call the number that was given to him via email, even if it seemed like too much. He wouldn’t risk this.
The call got sent to voicemail immediately. He stared at his phone screen for a few seconds before realizing what that meant. He tried once again, but it was no use. The phone was turned off. He started panicking so he called Hoseok instead, but he had no answer. The flower shop was probably too busy. He looked inside the cafe from outside the glass door, hoping to find something different than the last time he did the exact same thing. But the same students were there, the same smiling barista, probably the same nice smell as before. He then realized a man was there too, sitting down, phone in his hands, looking frustrated. He kept tapping the screen and pressing the sides as if it was going to help him in any way, but the frustrated look didn’t leave his face. The first thing Yoongi asked himself when he saw him was how did he not notice him before, since the man was a walking piece of art. Face, clothes, attitude and all, it was definitely the type of person Yoongi would notice without even going in the room yet.
The second thing Yoongi thought was: he has a frustrated look because apparently his phone won’t turn on. The person Yoongi himself is trying to call has his phone off. They have their phone off even though they’re supposed to meet someone at 6:00 for a job interview. And it’s 6:16 exactly. Was he possibly…?
After realizing that the man had been there before the clock hit 6:00, he decided to go inside and give it a shot. He approached the man with a hope filled face and an awkward smile.
“Um. Excuse me. Are you by any chance…” he started, clearing his throat. The man looked up and smiled.
“Ah! Yes. I’m so sorry. My phone died on my way here so I didn’t know how to let you know I was here already” was that a pout? “I’m sorry. You’re…”
“Yes. Yes. That’s, um, that’s ok, uh, Mr. Kim…?”
The man laughed shamelessly. “Oh god, Seokjin is more than okay, please. Let’s drop formalities starting now, I don’t want this to be awkward”
Yoongi blinked. He knew it already: this was going to be a weird ass job interview. Was this man supposed to be his boss? Or something? He was so used to scary and intimidating interviews that this seemed, for some reason, so relaxing it was even scarier.
“What are you waiting for, sit down!” the man who’s name apparently was Seokjin half commanded, half whined, all this while waving his hand violently. “I’ll go get us coffee, how do you like yours?”
Yoongi stared at him as he stood up. “Uh… an americano is just fine, thank you”
Seokjin smiled. “Americano it is, then! I’ll be right back”.
Yoongi was taking his wallet, but when he looked up, Seokjin was already gone. The moment he was out of sight, Yoongi took his phone out. He had three unread texts.
Hoseok [18:14]
just saw your missed call, sorryyyyyyyy
Hoseok [18:14]
everything ok???
Hoseok [18:17]
ill take your silence as a successful job interview <3 u can do this!!! ly
Yoongi smiled at the texts, and realized that yes, he was actually feeling way more relieved than a few minutes ago. However, he was intrigued and a little freaked out because he didn’t really know how to behave in this type of interview.
Yoongi [18:22]
yeah, just found the guy thats gonna interview me
Yoongi [18:22]
hes weird as hell though, im a bit scared ngl
Yoongi locked his phone and put it back in his pocket. A few moments later Seokjin was walking back, one cup of coffee on each hand, and he sat down.
“Ay ay, so, tell me about yourself!” he said cheerfully, and Yoongi couldn’t help but to think what an ambiguous question that was for a job interview. He tried to keep his cool.
“Um, I’m 24. I majored in Liberal Arts in university, um, I don’t have that much job experience yet, though, uh, just part time stuff. I would be really excited to start working in the producing industry, though” he said, his head feeling hot and confusing, spitting the words too fast. Seokjin laughed.
“That sounds professional. I like it” he said and did he just wink? Really? “You said something about rapping, right?”
Yoongi tried to remember why on earth would he mention the fact that he ocassionally raps and writes rap songs in his CV, but he couldn’t remember. However, if this guy knew, then he must’ve been that desperate for the job.
“Yeah, yes, I mean, it’s no big deal… I just enjoy creating my own tunes and I happen to be… decent… at rapping?” he was too confused to remember whether the key for interviews was to be humble or to speak highly of himself. He tried going for both at the same time.
“That’s fun! Amazing. You should rap for me sometime” Seokjin said, and Yoongi actually blushed. This just kept getting weirder and weirder.
“Uh. Ye-yeah, sure. Sure, why not” why not? He barely even rapped for Hoseok, and never live, he had just gotten to the point to show him the recordings. And he had just agreed to rap to a stranger? Oh god. Seokjin chuckled.
“Cute” Yoongi choked on his coffee. “My life’s not as interesting as yours. I’m jealous” he pouted, and Yoongi tried to keep his sight fixed on his hands, to avoid getting distracted by this guy’s face. “I have a dog though. Name’s Jjangu. Aka light of my life, I even made an instagram account for him. You should follow him” he said, before shooting him a cheeky smile. Yoongi decided to laugh lightly at this. Jin sighed, tugging the straw of his ice coffee with his lips and looking around. The vibe was suddenly awkward, not in the same way a job interview usually was. He felt slightly attacked and confused at how to act around Seokjin, but at the same time he felt truly relieved. He had always expected the music industry to be a cold one, which is why he decided to keep his music private. However, he thought, he wouldn’t at all mind showing his stuff to Seokjin: his attitude seemed open and nice, and he started to like the idea of working with him already. He still had one doubt, though…
“How are you related to producing, exactly? To the company?” Yoongi asked, and Seokjin looked back, eyes wide open.
“Me? Produce?” he started laughing and shaking his hands in front of his face. “Please, please, I keep my distance from music creating. I sing in the shower though. And I’m the absolute king of karaoke” he said, still laughing a bit.
Yoongi blinked again. He shot Seokjin a fake chuckle though, the least he could do. He decided to take his comment as a joke and assume he was working in human resources, stocks maybe? He wasn’t going to ask. After that, they kept talking about different things, and it seemed more like a friendly meeting, less like a job interview. Seokjin asked Yoongi if he lived close by, if he lived alone, and Yoongi decided it was not wise to mention the fact that he lived with his boyfriend. You never know, maybe the guy was truly conservative? Still though, Seokjin actually asked him if he could bring his laptop with him the next time they met, so Yoongi’s anxiety levels were pretty low right now. He felt like he had gotten the job already.
Minutes kept passing and, suddenly, Yoongi felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. He decided to ignore it, to avoid being seen as rude. It stopped vibrating, started again not even seconds after.
“Uh, excuse me…” he said, checking his phone, to which Seokjin waved his hand in a careless manner. Yoongi read the caller ID and froze.
“Oh, your phone is back on?”
“No, not yet” he pouted. “I have no battery”
Incoming Call [18:53]
Mr. Kim (job interview)
Yoongi gulped. “Then… why… why are you calling me?”
Seokjin looked back at him, confused. “Hm?”
It took every bit left of strength in his body to turn around and take a look outside the glass door, only to see a man dressed in a suit, phone against his ear and an angry and serious vibe to him. Yoongi’s heart stopped.
“You’re Mr. Kim right? From DPMusic?”
Seokjin smiled nervously. “I mean, my last name’s Kim, but I’ve never heard that company’s name before. Are you, you, you’re Namjoon, right?”
Yoongi froze. He wasn’t even able to answer. So much was going in his head right now, he felt dizzy, and…
“Wait, you’re not here for that Tinder date?” Seokjin asked, and Yoongi turned his head to look back at him immediately, eyes wide open. He still couldn’t find anything to say. Seokjin looked around and laughed nervously. “Oh my god, I can’t believe this, oh god” he kept giggling, and Yoongi didn’t know what to do. Seokjin looked at Yoongi and realized he was probably having a panic attack inside. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry” he said, still giggling a bit, “Okay, relax, look at me, talk to me. Who were you supposed to meet?” he asked, trying to make eye contact with Yoongi. Yoongi looked up.
“I had a job interview. A job interview and now, I, ah, I-”
“Fuck. Yeah, sorry, I mean, yes, that’s bad. Oh god, I’m sorry, this is too weird. That’s why you were all serious and nervous, I thought you were just being shy, now I get it, I’m, ah, okay, okay, let me help” he said, and Yoongi felt all the heat go up to his face. “Ok, look, what’s your name? You never told me your name”.
Yoongi looked up, then back down, staring at his own hands. “I’m, I’m Yoongi. Min Yoongi”, he whispered that last part.
“Ok, Yoongi, look, relax”
“I’m fucked”
Seokjin chuckled and had a sip from his coffee.
“Well, I wouldn’t use the word fucked, but I wouldn’t get my hopes high on getting that job either” he said, side smile on his face. “Look, I don’t know if this helps, but you impressed me. You seem pretty professional and all. You got me all like ‘whoah, this guy must be very successful’. So it shouldn’t be hard for you to find a job. It’s not the end of the world”. Yoongi decided it was not smart to tell him that indeed it was, for him, the end of the world, so he just smiled, defeated, and nodded.
“Yeah. I guess” he said, energy completely drained from his body. Seokjin looked up and covered his mouth.
“Shit. Now that I think about it, I just stood up on a blind date. That doesn’t really speak well about me, does it” he said, laughing, his ears red. “This is too funny, I still can’t believe it”. Yoongi couldn’t help but to smile at Seokjin’s laugh.
“You even rap! Just like this guy! Like what’s the possibility…! Ah. Unbelievable. I’m never trusting Tinder profiles with no pictures of their faces again, god…” he said, still chuckling.
“Well, on the brightside, I got to meet you” Seokjin said, and Yoongi looked up. “You seem pretty nice and cool. You’re cute when you’re nervous, you know that?” he smiled, and Yoongi finally felt more relaxed.
Yoongi just smiled, a real smile for once, and waved his hand in a careless manner. Seokjin laughed once again.
“That’s the spirit!” he said, his hand a fist, and Yoongi asked himself how could someone look so good doing the most ridiculous and common things. Seokjin’s expression changed to a slightly more serious one.
“Look, Yoongi, for now at least pretend to be okay. If the guy out there sees you panicking, he might suspect. Still, if you simply never showed up, you can always come up with a tragic excuse or something- ‘s not like that will get you a job, but at least you’re giving a reason right?” Yoongi thought about it and it made sense.
“Just wait until the guy leaves, he probably will leave soon though, looks smug enough not to wait for too long” he said, and Yoongi chuckled. “Look, give me your phone” Seokjin said, and for some reason Yoongi didn’t even think twice before doing so. The guy furrowed his brow in concentration while handling the phone. He then smiled brightly and gave it back to him.
“I added my contact there. Can’t add yours since my phone is dead, but give me a call. You seem really interesting, really. I want to get to know you better” he said, and Yoongi avoided eye contact, feeling flustered. Was this guy flirting? Why wasn’t he stopping him?
“Look, I should go now” Seokjin said, “I should charge my phone and give this poor Namjoon guy an explanation on why I stood up on him” he said, standing up and running his hands through his hair. He put his coat back on and waved at Yoongi.
“It was really nice meeting you, Yoongi. Call me!” he said, leaving the place. Yoongi just waved silently, still shocked from all the situation. He unlocked his phone, it was opened at the contacts app. There was a new contact there, saved as Jin. Just Jin. He also had two unread messages.
Hoseok [18:41]:
weird??? how come
Hoseok [18:41]
well give me a call when youre done!! cant wait to hear everything about it
Yoongi was sure Hoseok would laugh, probably hysterically, when he heard the story. Yoongi was still confused on why these things happened, why? He had lost the job opportunity he truly wanted, and he had met a super weird guy, he had actually gone (accidentally) on a date with a stranger, despite him having an almost 3 year long relationship with his current boyfriend. After such a long time he had forgotten the thrill of meeting someone, since he always met the same people: either his friends from university or Hoseok’s friends from dance practice. Even with everything that had just happened, he couldn’t feel too bad. The experience was funny, he had to admit that to himself.
Once both Jin and the real Mr. Kim were gone, Yoongi stood up and walked his way back to the subway station, both cold and confused.
Though he still thought Hoseok could get a little mad or possessive (even if it was an accidental date), he found it hilarious. He asked him all the details about everything, and he thought it was truly priceless. Of course, he also calmed Yoongi down about not getting the job.
Not even two days pass, and the routine is back. Hoseok works, Yoongi oversleeps. He wakes up to a silent, lonely apartment, makes brunch for himself (too late for breakfast? too early for lunch?) even if he’s not even hungry. He waters the plants and flowers, cleans a little bit. Opens his laptop, gets ready to work on his music, but its no use, if there’s anything he lacks at the moment it’s inspiration.
He unlocks his phone, checks his contact list. Presses Jin’s contact, as if reading the digits of his phone number will change anything. He wants to call him, but why? Should he? Is it alright? He had never felt this way about anyone in such a long time. But he was just a friend, right? A potential friend?
Why was he making him so nervous anyway? He was truly in love with Hoseok. Even though things were hard lately, he couldn’t picture life without him, let alone with anyone else. He was truly, completely powerless when it came to Hoseok: he didn’t think he would ever be able to say no to him, which hadn’t been a problem until now, since they are so in sync they usually agree. It’s normal when other people, outside of your relationship, make you nervous, right? Why did he feel like his life was lacking something? And why would calling Jin be wrong in any way?
He decided calling him to thank him for helping him calm down was a good idea. Yes, that was the perfect excuse. Or reason. Whatever. He pressed his contact, and waited until it started beeping.
“Hello?” he heard Jin’s voice through the phone, and his stomach flipped.
“Hello, hi, um, Seokjin?” Yoongi asked and god, Yoongi, pull your shit together, will you? Yoongi heard a dry laugh through the phone.
“Yoongi? Jin is more than fine, please. What’s up? To what do I owe this pleasure?” he said, and Yoongi blushed. He was truly out of his game when it came to having normal conversations with hot strangers. The dating life had gotten him. Yoongi laughed, awkwardly.
“I was just, I wanted to thank you? You know, for, for the other day. I was really losing my shit and…” shit, he swore, fuck, well, “and uh, yeah. You saved me. Thank you”
Jin coughed before answering. “It’s nothing, really. Least I could do you know! I was waiting for your call” he said, voice suddenly lower. “You know, despite the situation, I had fun. Maybe we can go out again? Dinner this time?” Yoongi choked.
“I, uh, I can’t” he said quickly, maybe too quickly? Jin stayed silent for a few seconds (or was it a whole minute, Yoongi honestly couldn’t tell). Then, Jin chuckled.
“Yah, I haven’t even told you a place or a date, you” he says playfully, and Yoongi keeps getting more and more nervous, his hands sweaty, his mouth dry. He decided he needed to come clean, somehow.
“I just.. I can’t like… ever… Well, uh… yeah…” he just said, and there was no quick response from the other side of the phone. Then, it seemed to click for Jin.
“Oh. You’re not into… oh, I’m sorry, I never really asked? I’m sorry” Yoongi is almost sure he heard a ‘shit’ mumbled under Jin’s breath, “well, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable! I mean, it’s sad, I-”
“No, that’s not it” Yoongi, for some unknown reason, corrected him, and Jin suddenly sounded relieved.
“Really? I knew I wasn’t wrong” he laughed, “then what’s the problem? I mean, I like you, but it’s okay if you don’t want to go out with me”
“I live with my boyfriend” Yoongi said, fast and serious, and he felt his head go hot. “I’ve… been dating him for a long time and… yes…” he just says, his voice ending up in a whisper.
“Oh. Does he know about…?”
“Yeah, I told him what happened. He’s not mad at you or anything, don’t worry. It was just a misunderstanding” Yoongi said, serious
“Yeah. A misunderstanding. I get it” Jin says, his voice low, and Yoongi couldn’t help but to feel bad. But he was doing the right thing, right? Yoongi remained silent
“Listen” Jin starts, meditating his words before finally speaking. “I do feel sorry about like, everything. With your job” he says, and pauses. “So if I can help you in any way, let me know. Just friends”
Yoongi smiled, a sad smile. “Yeah, that sounds good. Really. Thank you, Jin”
Jin’s upbeat personality seemed to be slightly back. “No problem. Really. I hope you’re doing okay”
“It’s been good” he lies, and looks around.
“Plus, you still owe me that rap” he said, and Yoongi chuckled.
“I’d forget about it if I were you”
Jin laughed. “Okay, I have to go” he paused. “I hope you find the job you’re looking for, as soon as possible”
“Thank you” Yoongi repeated, and Jin sighed.
“Goodbye!” he said and hung up, fast.
If it was hard for Yoongi to write music before the call, it was impossible now. A nap would probably make it better.