Chapter Text
GuanShan didn't mind taking the train in the morning.
He had to take it very early to get to work and this allowed him to always find a seat and enjoy some moments of peace and solitude.
Most of the time he listened to music, or recovered a few hours of sleep.
During his journey the train crossed the rice fields. Fields of crystalline water, motionless as a mirror. At dawn they reflected a pale, dim light, and GuanShan had the impression that houses for some strange magic floated among the sunken fields.
He appreciated this little piece of time he had managed to carve out by accident, it helped him prepare for the next hours of effort, and he wouldn’t have given it up so easily.
That morning he had managed to get there even in earlier and the train, standing on the tracks of the station, was waiting to start its run.
GuanShan went up and looked for his favorite place by the window, in the direction of travel.
He freed himself of the backpack by slipping it under his seat and stretched his legs, crossing his ankles. Wearing the headphones, he slid backwards; he closed his eyes and crossed his arms.
Oh yes ... it was worth it, after all.
With time passing by the the noise of the station began to blend with the music, his breathing became slower and more regular, his temple leaned on the cold glass of the window, his muscles relaxed and ...
"Knock Knock"
GuanShan frowned
"Knock knock knock"
No, it wasn't his impression.
Slowly the red opened his eyes.
"Knock Knock"
He turned to the window and found himself a few millimeters away from two gray eyes.
"FUCK!" He shouted, leaping to the next seat like a spring.
He stood there with a stupid smile and his hand still fisted on the window; all happy as if he had just won a treasure hunt: He Tian.
GuanShan gritted his teeth, pulling down the window
"What the fuck is wrong with you? You scared me! Stop being such a disgusting stalker! "
He Tian leaned forward, sliding his arms into the window and letting them dangle deadly. He inclined his head and smiled, resting his chin on his forearm.
"Whether you believe it or not is an unfortunate coincidence"
"You're right," said GuanShan, approaching and leaned back on the window "I don't believe you"
He tried to close the window but He Tian, leaning with all his weight, easily prevented him.
"How energetic you are, so early in the morning. I thought you were the lazy type"
GuanShan gave up, sitting back on the seat, crossing his arms and nervously tapping his foot.
"I don't want to hear from someone who is skipping lessons. Shouldn't you be at University?"
He Tian laughed, holding out his hand and brushing GuanShan's ear with his forefinger "Don't be angry mom"
GuanShan snapped to the side, assuming a disgusted expression "Don’t call me that way, asshole"
"Daddy?"
GuanShan ran a hand through his hair "Ugh ..." he sighed, exasperated. Here was his moment of peace going to fuck off.
"What the fuck are you doing here, huh?" He asked, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees.
He Tian stared at him intently, finally moving away from the window and lighting a cigarette.
"Waiting for my train" with his chin he pointed at the platform behind him, puffing a cloud of smoke and watching the cigarette burn in his fingers.
For a moment the idea of asking where he was headed touched the mind of GuanShan, yet it wasn't the first time He Tian left for some mysterious "trip"; he usually disappeared for three, five days maximum, but he always came back.
GuanShan imagined that they were somehow related to his family, but it was none of his business, so he just shrugged his shoulders and looked at the clock on his cell phone: the train would leave in a few minutes.
"Hey," called He Tian.
GuanShan rolled his eyes, nervously biting the inside of his cheek "What is it?"
He Tian smiled, tilting his head "Will you miss me while I'm away?"
GuanShan opened his eyes, hugging his arms "Why the fuck should I miss you? What a disgusting question! I-"
"Because I..." He Tian interrupted, throwing the cigarette on the ground and staring at it seriously "... I'll miss you, GuanShan"
GuanShan frowned, opened his lips but a lump in his throat stopped his voice. He swallowed ... He Tian seemed a little too serious.
"What-?"
“Train arriving at platform six, direction: Hong Kong. The train does not stop”
The mechanical voice of the ads was repeated twice and GuanShan's eyes moved beyond He Tian's head, to the track that the boy had indicated shortly before.
"You're going ... to Hong Kong?"
It was a far more distant destination than he imagined.
He Tian nodded slowly, putting his hands in his pockets "It's one of the stages, yes"
As if it had appeared out of nowhere, GuanShan glimpsed a suitcase behind He Tian. Black, large enough to hold many clothes. More than needed for just four days of travel.
He looked up at He Tian, they stared at each other.
GuanShan knew that He Tian was quite good at perceiving what was going through his head, it was disturbing most of the time, but considering his pride and his bad temper it could prove to be a useful talent.
Therefore, he knew that He Tian had understood, he knew that in his head he was asking where he was going, why he was going there and when, somehow, he knew if he would come back.
Just as if he had read it in his mind, He Tian smothered a smile and looked at him ...but he didn't answer.
He shifted his weight into one foot, then into the other. A beam of sunlight crossed the metal arches of the station, lighting up GuanShan's face.
He Tian stared at his hair, as intensely as if he wanted to impress the image in front of his eyes.
He smiled.
"They ... have a different color in the sun," he said.
The high-speed train arrived at that moment, darting behind He Tian and slowing, slowly, whistling annoyingly.
A river of people moved towards it and out from its doors.
Instinctively GuanShan jumped up, clenching his fists hard. His forehead frowned, his lips tightened until they became a thin line. An annoying, terrible pain in his stomach.
They stared intently for a few seconds, GuanShan's feet quivered, yet he couldn't move them by a millimeter.
"Train departing at platform six, direction Hong Kong"
He Tian smiled again, grabbing his suitcase.
"Bye, little Mo" he said, before turning and walking away.
GuanShan looked at his straight back. Soon he would turn around, at any moment He Tian would turn to him with the stupidest possible smile and would have made fun of him to have fallen for a joke as stupid as bad taste.
At any moment ... for sure.
But He Tian got on the train, and even before GuanShan could open his mouth to call him, the doors had already closed.
"Train departing at platform six, step back from the yellow line"
"He Tian ..." GuanShan whispered, before grinding his teeth and grabbing his backpack, leaping like a lightning bolt out of the train, he ran fast, towards the platform next to him. He approached the doors, now locked.
He punched them, then moved to the windows, but they were dark and could not see the passengers.
"HE TIAN !!" he shouted, punching the windows too.
The train began to move.
"Fuck! HE TIAN !! BASTARD!"
"Hey boy! What do you think you’re doing? Get away! "
Security men began to approach, attracted by the shouts of the boy. But GuanShan ignored them, starting to run to chase that train. Fast faster and faster.
"Stop, fuck, STOP!"
But he couldn’t go very far, the hands of the security agents had tightened tightly to his arm, stopping him and moving away from the train they forced him away, furious.
"What did you think you were doing? It's dangerous!"
Grinding his teeth GuanShan tugged at his arm, freeing himself from his grip.
"Let go!"
The train was now far away, and soon lost itself in the distance. He turned his gaze to the ground, looking helplessly at his left hand, squeezed tightly on his backpack and his right hand, red and painful from the fists he had unsuccessfully thrown.
"Tch" snapped his tongue, one of the agents "If you have, wait for the next train, instead of killing yourself"
GuanShan didn't answer.
He just got on his train, still there, and sitting in his place.
The window was still open ... angrily closed it, using much more force than was necessary.
"I’ll miss you, GuanShan"
The red bit his lips tightly before taking his backpack and digging inside to find his cell phone.
He stayed six long minutes staring at He Tian's contact before finally deciding to select the call.
Slowly he brought it close to his ear.
"The number you have selected is non-existent"
GuanShan listened to the motionless electronic voice, and for a few seconds he found himself holding his breath.
He lowered the phone and closed the call.
He looked out the window and realized that his train was now on the road and he had not even noticed.
He watched the rice fields, the sun in the distance ... and the landscape that he liked so much, for some reason, seemed less beautiful that morning.