Chapter Text
THE PHONE CALL:
"Dad. Whats wrong? Where's mom?" Asked Erin frantically. She knew when her father called her out of class, when it was so close to the end of the semester, something had to be wrong.
"Erin, sweetie" started her father, pausing to steady his breathing. Erin didn't have to see him, to know her father was crying. The only times she can remember seeing her father this emotional was at his children's weddings, when Danny left for the Marine Corp, and when her grandmother, his mother, passed away. That fact alone, scared her more then anything.
"Erin, can you please go pick up your brothers from school and meet your mother and I at home? We will explain once you get here."
"But daddy," she started to say. Her father cut her off, "Erin please. I need you to do this." His voice sounded almost pleading, Erin knew not to press any further.
"Ok daddy", she said quietly. "Let me grab Nicki from daycare and Ill head to the schools. Ill be there in about an hour"
"Thank you sweetie. See you soon."
Erin made a quick phone call to Linda, her sister in law, married to her older brother Danny. Danny was on leave from the police dept and serving in Iraq with the marine corps. "Linda, it's Erin, have you talked to mom or dad today?"
" Yes actually, they stopped by emergency after her doctor appt, your mom asked me to come over after shift. Is everything alright?"
" Did she seem ok? Either of them? Dad just called me out of class, asked me to pick up the boys, and head over there."
" Well now that you mention it, your mom seemed a little teary, but she has acted that way around me ever since Danny left. I get done in just a few, let me finish my paperwork, and Ill meet you over there." said Linda thinking back.
"Thanks Linda, I have a bad feeling about this." Erin stated as she hung up her phone.
THE TALK:
45 minutes later, Erin and her brothers were sitting in the family living room like they had done so many times growing up. Erin was placed in between Jamie and 17 year old Joe on the couch. Each one holding one of her hands, glancing nervously back and forth between their parents. Linda was seated in a chair, rocking 1 year old Nikki, thinking, no matter what comes out of their mouths, I have to be strong. Its what Danny would do.
"Kids, your mother had an appointment today with the oncologist." Erin immediately started crying, causing alarm in both of the younger boys.
"Dad?" Questioned Jamie.
"Boys, about 5 years ago, your mom got really sick. She had cancer, do you remember that?" Joe shook his head yes, tears threatening, but not yet falling.
"So what does that have to do with now daddy?" asked the youngest, most naive child. Jamie never wanted to think bad on anything. In his eyes, everything was good. Mary just sat there, crying, never saying a word.
"Kids, I'm so sorry, but the cancer has come back. After being in remission for almost 5 years, the doctors realized they missed it. Its aggressive and unique."
"Pop? Whats that mean?" Asked Joe quietly, "what exactly are you telling us?"
Mary stood up, with a sudden calm coming over her. "My sweet children, the doctors said there is nothing more to do. We just wait. If its in the Lord's will, if He is ready for me, then I am ready to see him as well."
Joe jumped to his feet yelling "but what if we're not ready for you to go?" He ran to his mother's opened arms, as the tears slowly started falling from his eyes.
"Shhh baby. Its ok. Now is not the time to be angry with God. You can be sad. But please dont be angry."
"Frank, how long?" Linda suddenly asked. Knowing she was thinking of her husband being in Iraq, wondering if he would have the time to make it home, his only response was "we need to make some calls."
It didn't take long for everyone to realize what their father meant when he said those words to Linda. "But, he will be home in three months dad." Argued Joe.
Jamie's reality of what was happening became too much for him to handle. He jumped up off the couch, new tears flowing out of his eyes. "No, you can't die mama, it's not fair" he screamed, as he turned and flew up the stairs. No one moved, yet the all listened, hearing the door slam, Jamie fall, and nothing but loud crying through the floor.
Joe started to follow his best friend up the stairs, when his father stopped him. He pulled Joe into a hug, and that was all it took for him to give in to the sobs he was trying to keep at bay. His father held him tightly for a few minutes, his own emotion now pouring out of his eyes. Suddenly Joe pushed Frank away, "no" he said. "I refuse to believe this. You cant give up mom." and he went out the back door. Linda and Erin looked at each other, then to Mary and Frank.
"Lets just let the boys process this." said Mary quietly "I'm going to go lie down for a bit. I'm quite tired myself." Holding her hand up to Frank, signalling she wanted him to stay put and explain everything to the girls when she left the room.
"Daddy?" Asked Erin her voice quivering on the word. Frank turned to the two girls who were now sitting, holding each other on the couch.
"Princess," he started to say before giving in to the emotion. Tears started pouring down his face as he spit out the words "3-5 weeks. My beautiful wife. 3-5 weeks." Seeing the strong man break down like this, shook both girls, and it didn't take long for them to try to hold and console their father. "Linda!" Frank said suddenly looking up. "Please, we need Danny. We need our son home. The kids need him. I...I need him." Linda asked to use Franks office stating she would try to get in touch with Danny as soon as possible. Erin excused herself to the upstairs, to check on her baby brother.
"I don't understand" cried 11 year old Jamie to his older sister.
"I don't either buddy" admitted his sister, pulling the small child into her lap, hugging him tightly. Usually, the youngest and smallest Reagan would fight against being held like a baby, but the comfort of his sister's arms is just what he needed at the moment. She held him until his sobs quieted to whimpers, then set him gently on his bed. He had cried himself to sleep. Looking down at her youngest brother, knowing there was nothing she could do to stop his pain made her own tears start silently falling down her cheeks.
Linda was in Franks office wondering what to do, she didn't know who to contact to get in touch with Danny the quickest way. She started with writing a simple email. "Danny, we need to talk. Call me." She knew Danny was able to check his email at least every two days, so if nothing else, she would hear from him soon. Without Linda knowing, Frank was also making phone calls, he still had some friends, from his military days, who might be able to get to Danny quicker. Now it was just a waiting game for his call.
IRAQ:
Three days later:
"Reagan, Sergeant wants to see you in command." Danny looked up questioning. But didn't say anything. He grabbed his equipment and headed for the command center on their mock base. Danny had been serving for almost 2 years, spending the past 15 months in Iraq. He was set to go home, and back to his life as a husband and police officer in just a short three months. The only time the sergeant asked to speak with anyone privately was when there was something happening back home. "Sarg?" Danny said entering the tent and giving a light salute. "Danny, have a seat. I don't know exactly how or what to say. You're going home buddy. I've arranged for you to call home tonight, either your parents or your wife. We are trying to get things ready for you to head home as soon as possible. The soonest the kinks will work out is going to be about a 10-14 days."
"Sergeant Parker, sir, I don't understand. our tour is up in three months, why am I going now? I can hold out for the rest of the deployment." Danny starts arguing.
"Reagan, call home." Says his sergeant handing him the phone. "Come and find me after if you need me." Danny is still incredibly confused by a this, and unsure what is going on. He looks at his watch and decides he will try his wife first. Linda has always been his rock, and if anyone can make sense of this situation it's her. The phone rings 4 times. Danny is just about to hang out when he hears her voice. "Hello?"
"Hey baby" He says dryly. At the sound of his voice, tears automatically spring to her eyes. "
"Danny," she says relieved. We've been waiting for your call." Danny can hear people in the background, and he swears he hears his sister crying.
"Linda…?" he asked his voice shaking as the sudden worry is going through his body. "Whats wrong? Is it dad? Why am I being sent home early." Of course Danny's first thought is something happened to his detective father.
"No honey, dad is fine. Here, he wants to talk to you." Danny is taken back, surprised that his father is also with Linda.
"Hello son." His father's deep voice came through the line. "Are you well?"
"Dad what the hell is going on? Your all scaring me."
"Son did they make arrangements for you to be home?" Frank questioned.
"They are working on it" Danny said quickly. "Could be a week to two though before Im there. Dad whats going on." Danny heard his father swear under his breath.
"They can't get you home sooner?" He asked sounding frustrated.
"Dad!" Danny yelled into the phone. "What the hell is going on?" He heard his father take a deep breath.
"It's your mother, son. The cancer is back. And its aggressive." Frank took a moment to clear his throat of the sob that was threatening to come out.
"How aggressive dad?" asked Danny quietly as the reality of what his father said was hitting him hard.
"I'm sorry son, I didn't want to say this to you over the phone. You can't be distracted."
"Pop, how aggressive?" Pressed Danny.
"Nothing left to do. 3-5 weeks," His father quickly replied in a voice barely louder than a whisper. Danny felt the hot sting of tears in his eyes. He knew he wouldn't be able to hold them back if he had to talk. "Son. Are you still with me?" Asked his father suddenly worried about his eldest sons well being.
"Mmhmm." Danny replied trying to regain composure. After a few minutes of silence. Danny heard his father say, "here's Linda, I love you son."
"Danny, Danny baby. Are you there?"
At the sound of his wife's concern, the tears started to fall. "Linda, She needs to hold on. Tell me its not that bad."
"Oh Danny I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"Linda, I have to go now."
"Ok baby, keep close touch. Let us know what is going on."
"I will. I love you."
"Love you more." said Linda, she heard the click of the phone and the line go dead.
THE BEGINNING OF THE END:
The cancer was taking over Mary's body in ways no one thought possible. Within a week Mary was completely bedridden. Frank had taken time off from work to care for her, he also took the boys out of school so they could spend as much quality time with their mother as they could. They were all hoping Danny was going to make it home in time. It had been 9 days since they had last heard from him when he finally called.
"Dad? How is she?"
"Its bad son. I'm afraid its..." his fathers voice cracked and he had to stop talking.
"Dad, I'm trying, we're all trying. I'm leaving tonight, will take couple days...I'll be home soon. She just has to hold on...please dad" pleaded Danny. "She has to hold on 'til I get there."
"I know son" was all Frank could say.
Marys eyes started to open. "Danny?" She said very quiet and weak. "Let me." Frank walks to Mary's bedside and holds the phone to Mary's ear.
"Mama?" asked Danny, the tears he'd been holding back were now silently falling down his cheeks. "Hi mama. You hold on ok? I love you ma. I'm coming home. Just be strong and hold on." Danny begged his mother.
A slow calm smile appeared on Mary's face hearing her first borns voice. Quiet as a church mouse, and still very weak, but everyone in the room heard her say "shhh baby, its ok. Be still. I love you." She closed her eyes and Frank took the phone away. All he heard on the other end was the deep sobs of his oldest son.
"We love you son," said Frank calmly, "hurry home." He hung up the phone quickly, and hurried to the bathroom before his own emotions got out of control.