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You sat on the edge of the bath, worrying your lower lip between your teeth. In your hands, another set of ruined pants. Despite your aggressive cleaning, a red-brown stain was still outlined across the seat, only the center having faded back to the uniform’s charcoal gray. You already knew the face of disgust the headless cleaning droid would somehow give you as you inevitably handed over the dirtied cloth.
You sighed, folded over your knees. Once more, your traitorous ovaries had fooled you and once more you had bled through. It wasn’t truly a big deal, you knew. You had more pants to wear and there were more than enough droids dedicated to cleaning duties it wasn’t exactly going to put the Order back to clean one more article of clothing. But it felt like a lot. You were so tired of dealing with this- over and over, unpredictable and annoying every single cycle.
And folded over like this, your displeasure focused on another problem- the soft roundness of your stomach squished between your thick thighs and chest. The front seam of your shirt pulled tight across your belly, only making you more aware of your shape. You left the cloth draped over your knees, hands drifting up to linger at your stomach, pressing in and groping the fat.
“Stop.”
You jolted, shot upright- back shocked stiff, your hands jerking away from your stomach. Kylo stood in the doorway, his mask tucked under one arm. His dark eyes soft, eyebrows lifted and so gently curled in, concern written across his face.
You can’t look at him, ashamed that he caught you like this. You catch your lip between your teeth and feel even more guilty.
Kylo shuffled into the small refresher, the hard heels of his boots thudding against the tile. He set his mask down on the counter, the face askew off towards the shower. Kylo lingered there for a moment, one hand resting on the hard material of his mask, staring down at you.
He wasn’t sure what to do. You knew well enough gentleness wasn’t something Kylo knew well- but he was slow as he cross the room, sitting down on the ledge beside you.
Kylo’s gloved hand closed the distance between you at a crawling pace, giving you time to pull away. But you didn’t. You let Kylo retrieve the pants from your clenched fists and then come up to cup your face. Melting at his touch, you close your eyes, leaning into his warm glove. His other hand slips through your hair, tracing down the side of your cheek.
“Come here,” He murmured, already moving to lift you, bodily dragging you onto his lap. Kylo leaned back against the wall, pulling you close until your cheek rested against his broad chest. His lips are dry and hot as he just barely presses them to your forehead, then again against your hair.
“You’re gorgeous,” He said, his voice so gentle you almost believed him. But still, you sighed and relaxed against him, content enough to bask in his delicate attentions. He pushed a stray piece of hair behind your ear, the seam of his gloves tickling as he traces down the curve of your chin. “I mean it.”
You struggled to twist your neck- trying to catch his gaze without lifting your head. Kylo’s tender eyes still made your breath catch, deep brown pools betraying every emotion he felt-- filled with nothing but awe and love now. You turn your face back into the thick padding of Kylo’s robes, trying to fight back the urge to cry.
Kylo’s fingers drifted back down your neck and shoulder, stopping to rub soothing circles against your back. He sighed, chin dropping down to nuzzle against the top of your head. You sit like that for a long moment- happy to let your whole world narrow down just to Kylo Ren’s warm embrace and how you were so softly nudged with each deep inhale, how each hot exhale through his nose warmed your scalp and ear.
Relaxation had begun to truly make you drowsy as Kylo took your hand in his- so much smaller than his massive, gloved hands, he guides your fingers back to your belly. Kylo’s thumbs stroke soothingly across the smooth fabric of your uniform, massaging the soft, round flesh you wish so badly didn’t exist.
Kylo hummed, a deep vibration in his chest, rumbling against your side. His tone leaves no room for objection- firm and quiet: “Beautiful.”
You exhaled slowly, let the tension drain from your shoulders at the slow, rhythmic passes of Kylo’s fingers, dragging your own hands along with his. Kylo had always been honest with you- painfully open, even when he didn’t want to be. You thought, perhaps, if Kylo could so unrepentantly love your body, then maybe you could learn to do so, too.
You turned in his lap again, twisting to press your front to his. You slid your arms around his broad chest, pressing your hands into his back and drawing him ever closer, squishing the softness of your body against him. This close, you were enveloped in his scent- warm and masculine and comforting. Kylo’s gloved hands rested easily on your back, his thumbs resuming their pattern, pressing in and following the curve of your spine.
His right hand drifted up- tracing a delicate line up the length of your body, drawing back up over your shoulder, up your neck- two fingers guiding your chin up once more. You lifted your head slowly, blinking slowly- basking in the plentiful adoration in his gaze. A half-smile quirked one side of his lips.
He leaned down, his soft, plush lips catching yours- his long eyelashes tickling at your cheeks. You sighed against his mouth, chased his lips even as he began to draw away. His warm glove cupped your face, unhurried in his affection.
“Thank you,” You whispered. You knew you didn’t need to, that Kylo could already feel it in your mind. But a soft smile still curled at Kylo’s lips- the corners of his eyes crinkling softly. He craned his neck again, tipping your chin down to press his lips to your forehead. You closed your eyes, letting yourself settle against his chest once more.
Kylo’s fingers carded through your hair, trailing down back soothingly as you sighed; the hard, anxious parts of you dissolving under Kylo’s soft attentions. His gentle stroking didn’t stop, even as you began to fall asleep against him.