Chapter Text
You woke up in a cold sweat, clutching at your chest and breathing heavily. You tried to calm yourself, but the images of cold, dead bodies littered the inside of your mind. You didn't remember what came before or after the bodies; they were ever present, unfortunately, unlike the beginning and end of your morbid dream. You found yourself sticky with sweat, and opted to change into your only other pair of night clothes. You decided to take a walk down the corridor of the camp's few rooms to clear your mind. You couldn't remain composed, and your eyes drifted downwards to the sunny warmth that shone underneath a door at the end of the hall: Haurchefant's. You arrived at his door clad in a wool blanket and your night clothes; nights in Coerthas brought beautiful stars, but they also brought a fierce wind and cold. Though your knees were practically knocking together with all your shivering, you couldn’t be bothered to change, and his room was close enough anyhow. Three swift knocks later, and there Haurchefant stood, eyebrows raised as he inspected the late-night visitor.
“And what brings you to my quarters so late at night, my friend?” Haurchefant asked, and you were silently relieved that he was more composed than you expected him to be. You were just as relieved when he ushered you inside with a, “poor thing, you must be freezing.”
Haurchefant’s room was, thankfully, warm and welcoming, and you took in the simple furnishings: a bed in the corner, an armchair, a table, and a simple tub behind a screen, all warmed by a rather large hearth. He entered, closed the door behind him, and rubbed your arms as if to speed up your defrosting process.
“Is something amiss?” he said softly, and you assumed that he understood by the bags under your eyes and the way you seemed to shrink into yourself. You glanced down and shuffled your feet.
“I can’t sleep. Can I stay here?” you quietly said.
A small smile appeared on his face, and after briefly composing himself, he responded.
“Of course. My chambers are always open to the Warrior of Light.”
You cringed. Warrior of Light, that’s what you were. Hardly a person, simply a tool. The way your face fell did not go unnoticed, and Haurchefant took your face in his calloused hands.
“I’m sorry. Would you like to unload your burdens on me, my dear?”
My dear. That was better, you preferred sweet pet names from Haurchefant, though your face flushed red as the fire dancing in the hearth. His question did not go unanswered, however, and you found yourself sitting at the edge of his bed, Haurchefant himself seated right next to you.
You sighed. Where to start? Mayhaps you should start by saying you never wanted to be some grand hero; you never wanted to be the single reason so many of your comrades and friends had died untimely deaths. Maybe you should continue with the fact that being a grand hero gets stale quite fast, and end with explaining how you wanted to be vulnerable, feel human, be human. Your vision blurred into an oil painting of warm colors.
“Oh, please don’t cry,” Haurchefant whispered, rubbing your back soothingly, and it took you a beat to realize that you were, indeed, crying. Unfortunately, this realization made all the other emotions you had kept bottled up in some dark cavern in your mind come tumbling out. You tried to stop the tears, you really did, but you found yourself sobbing into your hands.
“I’m sorry,” you said, and you weren’t quite sure what you were sorry for. Haurchefant shook his head and continued to rub your back.
“There’s nothing you need apologize for.”
“I’m sorry,” you repeated, “I’m so sorry.” You kept on like that for a few moments, repeating the phrase like a prayer.
Haurchefant finally pried your hands from your face and held them gently, running his fingers over your knuckles.
“How long have you been holding in all this guilt, all this pain?”
You couldn’t respond. He embraced you and touched his forehead to yours.
“You may bring your worries to me. You may bring any torment, any suffering, and share it with me. There’s no reason you should let it fester inside you.”
Haurchefant’s voice was so gentle, and his words so kind. You brought your face to his shoulder, and he placed a hand on the back of your head. You thanked him, clutching onto him for dear life. He rocked you back and forth. Eventually the tears subsided.
You peered up at him, head still on his shoulder, and he sighed in relief.
“You scared me, my dear. I feared I would have to take you far away from all this Warrior of Light business; at least, until you recuperated,” Haurchefant joked, and you chuckled.
“Haurchefant,” you started, throwing your arms around his shoulders, and a light blush dusted his cheeks and the tips of his ears, “Thank you.”
A soft smile crept onto his face, and he moved forward hesitantly, as if asking for permission to seal his lips with yours. You closed the distance; the kiss was short and sweet and genuine. Resting here with someone who meant so much to you--it was the most human you had felt in ages.