Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

This wasn’t the first time that Drew woke up to spooning Tony.

Despite his wealth, Ariya had a tendency to split a room with them, but he’d typically demand one of the beds to himself. At first, Drew and Tony traded off sleeping on the couch, then eventually agreed that there wasn’t anything wrong with just sharing a bed. The tangled limbs the first few mornings were initially awkward, but even that was laughed off in due time and now was the norm. Sometimes Tony would greet Drew by calling him “sweetheart” or “sunshine”, and even though it was a really good joke, it made Drew’s tummy do flips that he wished he could yell at through his megaphone until they stopped.

“Good morning, honey,” Tony yawned, stretching then nestling back into Drew’s arms. Holding tighter, Drew wondered if it’d be totally weird for him to plant a kiss on his best friend’s temple; kisses could be platonic, right?

“Morning!” Drew chirped back, opting to rest his chin on the back of Tony’s head and getting a noseful of conditioner and the nuttiness of argan oil.

“Ariya still asleep?” Propping himself up on his elbows, Tony twisted enough so that he could peak over Drew’s shoulder. As this went on, Drew stayed perfectly still, unsure if maybe the earlier contact he made was overstepping Platonic Friend barriers.

But then Tony settled back down, this time face to face with Drew. Their knees touched, and Drew pictured a miniature version of himself in his own stomach, hoisting up an enormous NO FLY ZONE sign. With a sleepy grin, Tony proudly stated, “He’s still asleep.”

“Oh, that’s good,” Drew nodded matter-of-factly, unsure how to react to this knowledge.

“Yeah…” Trailing off, Tony’s grin faltered into something far more demure, something foreign that Drew couldn’t register. The silence between them was unlike anything ever previously experienced in their friendship, and immediately Drew recalled every possible thing that he had done and said in the year that would be cause for evisceration in the very bed they lay in. His thoughts were interrupted by a quiet, “Hey uh...Drew?”

“Yes?” Drew watched as Tony briefly bit his bottom lip, doing his darndest to not be transfixed by the innocuous action.

“So, I was wondering if…” Again, Tony trailed off, this time rubbing the back of his neck. “Y’know like...how we all usually go out to dinner together? As a group?”

“Right.” Drew’s brow furrowed in confusion as he tried to piece together whatever point Tony was trying to make. “Did you want to pick the place tonight? Because I’ll back you up.”

“Well, sure. Yeah. But.” Taking a deep breath, Tony averted his gaze for just a moment before looking back up. “I was sort of hoping that maybe tonight instead of everyone it could be just...us?”

It took at least a solid 30 seconds for what exactly was being asked to dawn on Drew. He blinked a few times in disbelief, barely able to squeak out, “Us?!”

“Hey, we don’t-” Tony started, now shifting backwards and causing the sheet to bunch up underneath him.

“Yes!” Drew nervously exclaimed, then remembering that their roommate was asleep just a few feet away, he whispered “Yes.”

“Really?!” Tony whispered back with equal enthusiasm, his grin slowly creeping back and eyes shining so brightly.

“Oh my gosh, of course!” His heart hammered so hard that he couldn’t even hear the words that he said. He wasn’t even sure that he correctly heard the words ‘it’s a date!’, but he saw Tony’s mouth say it and they repeated over and over in his head well after breakfast and a trip to the gym and lunch and while he got ready in the arena’s locker room.

Drew wasn’t scheduled to for a match that evening, so he put on his nicest suit for both the sake of the program AND for his date later. His date with Tony Nese. As he straightened his tie, he smiled at himself in the mirror for how sensible a decision it was to wear this outfit, then he smiled even harder when he thought about having dinner alone with Tony. Then he crammed half a container of mint Tic-Tacs into his mouth.

At one point he passed by Tony in the halls, and was greeted with a smile so radiant that it made all of his insides flutter. As Tony kept walking, Drew allowed himself to dare to watch him go by, feeling the slightest bit naughty and tingly with anticipation for later. He put another Tic-Tac in his mouth.

Everything felt light, like he’d been walking on air, until Ariya’s match; after that, piece by piece, gravity turned to lead. Drew’s head swam as he was berated, and even as Tony aggressively defended him by yelling “You don’t get to talk to Drew like that!”, everything was far too heavy. He was going to collapse under the weight on the tension.

The next few minutes dragged on, and with every step forward Drew felt shackles dig in deep around each limb. It was all wrong: the matchup itself, how Tony’s mannerisms were nonexistent the moment he stepped past the curtain, how he wasn’t there to escort Tony out like they’d done for one another for over a year now.

And when the kick came, when the assault from behind happened and Tony lay defenseless on the mat, time stood still. There were screams and insults, beads of spit that flew in Drew’s face, and pointing. In that very moment, in that god awful, terrible moment that Drew couldn’t bring himself to look at Tony, he convinced himself that this was planned, that everyone was in on it and he must have missed the memo. Tony would say something if that wasn’t the case. They talked about everything. Tony would give an indication if this wasn’t OK, he had to.

So Drew kicked. He kicked and he slapped and he did everything to make it convincing enough. It wasn’t until he was back at the locker room and his stomach still hurt so badly that he dry heaved, that he realized Tony wasn’t returning. Drew hurried back to the ring, but Tony wasn’t there anymore. He sent several text messages, but received no response.

“OK,” Drew repeated to himself several times, now pacing the halls. This was his best friend, possibly maybe even the start of something more, he reasoned. If there’d been a misunderstanding, Drew told himself, Tony would listen. Or maybe Tony was too busy getting ready for the date that he was unable to respond right then.

Taking a deep breath in a poor attempt to steady his nerves, Drew at last elected that he’d go to the restaurant that they planned to meet up at. If he’d made a mistake this night, he wouldn’t make another one by being late to their date. He popped the rest of the Tic-Tacs into his mouth and hurried out of the building.

Chapter Text

Two hours had passed. Two of the longest hours of Drew’s entire existence had crawled by.

Granted, he had shown up to the restaurant quite early, but even so it still meant that it was officially an hour and 40 minutes past the time he and Tony had agreed to meet up. At first he had stuck to glasses water, but eventually those orders became cocktails and then several fingers worth of whiskey. More texts were drafted and sent, laden with apologies and attempts at coaxing Tony into talking.

There was no reaction. No ellipses to indicate maybe Tony was on the other end, that maybe he had something to say. The silence made every second excruciating. A bouquet of flowers that Drew had picked up on the way to the restaurant seemed to already wilt. He dropped his head into his hands, and was relieved as he was mortified when the check was slipped discreetly onto the table.

Too drunk to drive, Drew got a Lyft back to the hotel and loudly announced that he had a cold whenever his sniffles were too audible. He wasn’t too sure how he made it up to his room, but when he stepped through the door it was clear that any shred of evidence that Tony had been there was gone. Ariya didn’t offer an explanation, and Drew didn’t ask for one. Flopping down face first on the bed, he didn’t bother to get any water to avoid a hangover in the morning; if anything, he welcomed it.

Neck deep in drunken self-flagellation, Drew made the grave mistake of allowing his imagination to wander. He imagined what this night could have been. What would Tony have worn to their date? Would they have stayed for dessert? Of course they would have, Drew affirmed to himself. Would they-

Would they have kissed?

Drew had thought about kissing Tony every day and night since they had met, had even dreamed about it from time to time. Would they have come back to the room and tried to keep quiet to not wake Ariya? Giddy and giggling as they touched and kissed, Drew finally whispering every confession of the feelings he harbored that had been locked away for so long; finally being brave at long last.

In his stupor, he checked his phone once more and found no response waiting for him. Drew squeezed his eyes shut and prayed for his stomach’s churning to settle. When the following morning brought no solace whatsoever, he could not claim that it was any surprise. When one day turned to another, and then another, and there was still no response, that was no surprise either.

After nearly a week of this, Drew didn’t know how much longer he could remain in his own head. He considered making a Powerpoint presentation to list the many ways that he was sorry, but he didn’t have the emotional or mental fortitude to confront his horrible, horrible mistake head on. And he didn’t know how he could show it to Tony. Instead, he moped around and missed his best friend, and occasionally indulged in “what if” scenarios to unintentionally torture himself.

Another day, another town, another hotel. Caught somewhere between anxiety and lethargy, Drew found that sleep was not on his side so in the late hours of the evening he went down to the hotel’s lounge. He’d made it within several feet of the bar before recognizing a lone occupant seated there, and froze in place.

Broad shoulders. Enormous biceps. Dark hair tied back. Beautiful olive skin.

Drew swallowed hard, now trembling where he stood. The option to turn around and leave was so tempting, but giving into cowardice had already caused so many issues. He approached the bar, still maintaining some distance out of respect, and ordered a drink. The look of recognition that quickly turned to disgust from Tony was like a dagger to the chest.

“Hi,” Drew finally said after clearing his throat, but Tony looked down into his glass and kept his gaze fixed there.

“Hi,” Tony’s voice was hardly audible and sounded deflated.

“Is it OK if I sit?” Drew knew that he sounded far too hopeful, and winced when he saw how Tony grimaced.

“Do whatever you want. I was just leaving.” It was a bad lie, Tony’s glass was still half full.

“Tony, I-” started Drew, hoping he could convey how very sorry he was now that they were face-to-face, because that would be far more sincere than any voicemail or text message or 15 paragraph email that probably went unread. But Tony held a hand up, and Drew went silent.

“I don’t want to hear it,” Tony muttered.

“I’m sorry.” About what specifically, Drew didn’t even really know. This was a far cry from all the times that Tony did want to hear all of Drew’s rants and plans, no matter how neurotic or improbable they may seem. Maybe he never realized just how much his best friend had listened in the past until right now, and it was another weight added to the crushing pile of shame that Drew was slowly deteriorating under. “I just want you to know that I’m so sorry. And I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“I liked you so much, Gulak.” Head hanging lower than before, Tony ran a hand through his hair and exhaled. “Goddammit.” That last part was so anguished, and Drew knew he been the one to cause it. If he had stood up for himself, maybe they'd be in bed together, maybe he would have already told Tony how he felt and there'd only be happiness instead of all of this.

“Liked?” This wasn’t the time for clarification, and Drew knew that he should just abandon his drink and leave. Leave Tony alone forever, leave the WWE, just leave in general. But instead, his mouth operated independently. “Past tense, like you don’t…like like me anymore, right? Or...do I...do we still have a chance?”

“I don’t know!” Tony exclaimed, his head now on the bar. “Please, just...go away, Drew. I can’t do this right now.”

“Tony,” Drew leaned in, enough that Tony could hear him. “Tony, I’m sorry for what I did, for everything. I’ll go. But I’m gonna make this up to you, OK? I made a mistake, and I don’t know what I have to do to fix it but I will. I promise.”

“Whatever,” sighed Tony, not bothering to look up. “Just go.”

“Going!” Drew paid for his drink that he hadn’t even touched, and as promised, left Tony alone at the bar.

Chapter Text

Another week passed. A whole week of, yet again, not talking to Tony.

It took everything to not reach out. All that Drew wanted to do was to tell Tony how much he missed him, especially since no one else seemed willing to listen to his lamenting.

“Do you regret it?” Drew asked Ariya once.

“I’ve never regret a single thing in my entire life,” Ariya responded flatly, without seeking any clarification whatsoever.

To make matters even more troubling, Drew didn’t actually know how to fix anything. He thought about buying an entire grocery freezer’s worth of Ben & Jerry’s, but then there was the issue of actually getting it to Tony before it all melted. Donuts were always an option, but he worried that they’d go stale. Of course there was also things like video games and protein powder and Paleo ingredients, but none of that seemed to convey how deeply sorry he was. For a moment, he toyed with the idea of getting into the ring and announcing his regrets in front of an audience, but that probably wasn’t any more appropriate than trying to bribe his way back into good graces.

As if not knowing how to proceed with atonement wasn’t bad enough, there was Tony’s backstage interview. Drew didn’t even realize his heart had enough space for another dagger to be pushed into it, but Tony quietly listed off everyone else’s first names and endcapped it with a loud and angry ‘Drew Gulak’ in regards to the people he’d like to knock out. For a few seconds, Drew wondered if that would be the key to making things alright again, just let Tony get the aggression and hurt out of his system.

But then it dawned on him that, more likely than not, Tony didn’t actually want to talk to him anymore; that he messed up so catastrophically and there wasn’t any real chance at reconciliation. The rest of the night was spent mulling over this, and whether or not the best thing he could do was lay low. Or give up.

Regardless, it didn’t change how much he missed Tony.

Later, Ariya made a comment about the interview from earlier, but Drew was too focused on the highway as they drove to their next destination. He was sure some speculation was being made and that Ariya was trying much too hard to pretend that he didn’t actually care, which was typical. Honestly, it was a relief to not be pestered about things like feelings over the past few weeks, since at this point he was certain it’d be akin to a dam bursting.

Not that Ariya didn’t actually care, he just...didn’t show it in an obvious way. Sometimes he’d offer to look over one of Drew’s Powerpoint presentations, usually when the nights were late and Drew was hunched over the small hotel desk and hadn’t typed a single thing in hours. Sometimes a punk song would pop up on a playlist and before choruses of “Ohhhs” made it through the speakers, it’d be changed. Ariya had gone so far as to offer to go see the new Star Wars with Drew, even though he’d initially sneered at the idea back when the plans were made to include Tony.

It was all manageable in the way that a bumper can be held in place by duct tape; functional, the way that Drew said he liked things. The weird momentum worked pretty well until they stopped into a rest stop and were confronted by a display of goofy cowboy hats, and it was like getting sacked by a ton of bricks. Ariya pointed them out and started to ask if they wanted to take pictures like they’d done so many times in the past, but before he’d even finished with the suggestion, Drew was back outside and crouched down on the sidewalk.

“I’m sorry,” Ariya finally offered, sounding uncharacteristically helpless.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about,” Drew listlessly countered. They eventually climbed back in the car after standing out in the cold for too long. Not a single other word was uttered for the remainder of the ride. When they reached the hotel and rode the elevator to their floor, Drew looked at himself in the mirrors that lined the panels and grimaced.

“You look like you haven’t slept in a while,” Ariya pointed out.

“Yeah,” Drew exhaled.

“I’m sorry about the hats. It was out of habit, y’know?” Drew snorted at that. “Like why do gas stations even have those displays?”

“Every single one of them!” A smile finally made its way on Drew’s face after he made the exclamation. “I don’t know, maybe truckers buy them? They have to be a big seller if every Mobil has a whole rack of them in stock.”

There was laughter for the first time in what felt like an eternity, but it died down almost as soon as it arrived. Ariya rubbed at the back of his neck, then stated, “Y’know, it probably won’t be like this forever.”

“Have you spoken to him?” Drew blurted out.

“In passing,” admitted Ariya. “He didn’t knock me out, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

“Why are we even doing this?” The elevator doors opened, and Ariya placed a hand on Drew’s back as they stepped out.

“Hey man, it’s almost a new year. Let’s just ride out the rest of this one and try to do better next time.”

“Yeah,” Drew solemnly nodded. “Yeah, alright.”

Chapter Text

It’s always darkest before the dawn.

Drew had heard that Florence + The Machine song dozens of times on the alternative rock radio stations he’d now occupied himself with, since most of his playlists had a sentimental association that he wasn’t quite ready to confront. He couldn’t tell if the rest of the song’s lyrics resonated with him yet, but he’d been clinging to that one particular line.

Lately it wasn’t unusual for him to Google quotes about hope and bravery and regret, like he’d find the perfect words for this situation or to carry himself through it. He picked through poems, wondering if someone else’s words could tell Tony how wonderful he was where Drew had so obviously failed. But recklessly clicking on a quote generation website proved to be dangerous when he stumbled across these few words:

For all sad words of tongue and pen, The saddest are these, 'It might have been'.

Heart now sunk to the pit of his stomach, Drew closed out of the browser.

It’s been over a month since the assault, and Drew wasn’t any closer to atoning for what he’d done. What made matters worse was that Tony was now nearby, but there was still a metaphorical wall separating them from one another. Greetings exchanged were hollow at best, and Drew didn’t know if he could handle this proximity for too long. He consulted Ariya several times about whether or not he should say something, but the response was always a stern “No”.

“What am I supposed to do?!” Drew snapped after the fourth time. “Just sit around and wait?!?”

“Yes!” Ariya snapped back as he adjusted the driver's side visor. They’d been driving for several hours, and the enormity of Texas was starting to eat away at their nerves. “You can’t force someone to not be mad at you! It doesn’t work like that.”

“But I miss him!” Drew’s voice cracked on the last word, and he immediately covered his mouth to prevent a sob from escaping. He’d done a commendable job not having a breakdown for a month, and he wasn’t about to give in now.

“No,” Ariya reaffirmed, a little less harsher this time. “It doesn’t matter, he’s gotta make the decision. You apologized, right?”

“I did,” Drew nodded.

“Well that’s all you can do.”

Drew wanted to argue that it was easier said than done, but Ariya had returned to seemingly Not Paying Attention, so he didn’t bother. And really, Ariya wasn’t exactly wrong, but Drew still felt like he needed to do something. Anything. They continued to drive through the streets of Austin, until Ariya came to a full stop without any warning. “HEY!” Drew yelped.

“We’re eating here,” Ariya grinned pointed to a sign that said Big Daddy’s.

“No, I hate this,” Drew protested, but Ariya had already pulled into a parking spot.

“What? You’ll fit right in with your ridiculous hat.” The teasing prompted Drew to bring the brim down over his eyes in a fit of embarrassment.

“Fine, let’s just eat and go,” grumbled Drew as he unbuckled himself and opened the door to the car. As soon as they were seated at a table, he buried his face in a menu. He wasn’t even focused on the items listed, but rather -and against better judgement- on recalling the events earlier. They might not be back on talking terms, but at one point his eyes met Tony’s and there was something.

Not animosity. Not necessarily companionable, not apathetic.

Just something.

And maybe didn’t stand next to one another on the apron like they usually did when it was 3-on-3, but the lingering hand and eye contact when Tony had picked him to tag in (not once but twice) was pleasant; dare he say, familiar. It reminded him of when they first tagged over a year ago, just after the CWC. The nerves he felt then were just as raw as they were now, complete with the same self-deprecation and sense of loss.

Back then, for as scared as he was about it, Drew was mostly fine with developing feelings. Feelings were inevitable in their industry, and became really easy to ignore if you practiced hard enough or had your heart broken a few times. But now, this pending geyser of emotions was the way that it was due to hope, of all things. If Tony hadn’t asked Drew out, Drew probably wouldn’t have spent the past month on the verge of implosion.

Yet, Drew knew that he deserved it. He’d been the one to rationalize doing something so downright horrifying to instead of daring to do what was right, and no number of excuses or reasons could justify it.

A member of the waitstaff stopped by on several occasions to take their order, but Ariya kept insisting that he wasn’t ready to order yet. Drew rolled his eyes and said, “C’mon, you picked the place. How do you not know what you want?”

“I picked it because of the name,” Ariya explained matter-of-factly as he glanced down at his phone screen.

“Well if you stopped playing with your phone, we could hurry up!” A paper napkin within Drew’s reach was picked at as the agitation he was dealing with was starting to come to a head.

“But I just got here,” a familiar voice came from just behind Drew, and his eyes widened. Ariya could hardly contain a smirk, which normally Drew would have frowned at but he couldn’t, not when he was in shock. He couldn’t bring himself to look, even when asked, “This seat taken?”

“All yours,” Ariya answered. The chair next to Drew was pulled back, and his hands trembled as, from the corner of his eye, he saw Tony Nese now seated right next to him.

Chapter Text

Drew grew lightheaded as the night progressed. The banter between Ariya and Tony was completely normal, as if they hadn’t skipped a beat, let alone a whole month. He was so focused on the surrealism of the entire situation that he continuously missed questions aimed at him.

“What’s the matter? Goldust rock your head a bit too hard?” Ariya teased, but Drew was fixated with watching Tony steal a fry from off of his plate like old times, and watching Tony’s eyes crinkle as he smiled so beautifully.

“Hey, let me try that on,” Tony gestured to the hat that Drew forgot he’d even been wearing. After a moment of fumbling to get it off, Drew happily obliged the request. The way that Tony beamed at him as the hat was taken made Drew’s heart thunder so hard that he thought for certain it’d break a rib.

“It looks good on you,” Drew dared to say after clearing his throat.

“Yeah it does,” laughed Tony as he checked himself out via his phone’s camera. A smouldering gaze and a selfie later, the hat was returned and Drew did everything to not sniff at it like a creep.

When the waitstaff returned and asked if they wanted to look at the desert menu, Drew was disappointed that Tony and Ariya had declined. It’d felt like an eternity to get back to this point, and now Tony might be leaving again for who knew how long. Another month? Forever?

“So what’re your plans for the rest of the night?” Tony asked, looking to Ariya and then to Drew. The gaze lingered. Drew’s stomach violated the No Fly Zone rule.

“Killing time. Putzing around the stripmall before we head back to the hotel,” Ariya replied. “Right, Gulak?”

“Huh?” Drew wasn’t even aware that was the plan, but he nodded along anyway. “Uh, right. Yeah.” He turned to look at Tony, then sheepishly followed up with, “You uh. You wanna join us?”

“If you’d have me,” Tony grinned.

“I’d have you anytime.” The words had come out of their own accord before Drew could process what he’d even said. His face burned a little with recognition over what he’d just uttered, but he couldn’t deny the sentiment, either.

Together, the trio ducked in and out of stores without any real aim, just like when times were simpler. Trinkets shaped like Texas were purchased with the intent of being gifted to loved ones, and they giggled a handful of times at anything stating how things were bigger here. As they walked, sometimes Tony’s hand accidentally brushed up against Drew’s, or vice versa, but neither said anything. The familiar proximity was all that Drew had been yearning for for too long.

At the end of the strip was a toy store, but Ariya announced that he had a call to take and that he’d meet them inside in a little while. Shrugging, Tony opened the door and Drew followed him in. They wandered the aisles and made small talk, which was actually very difficult to do without addressing the elephant in the room. While Drew debated with himself if now was a good time to apologize again, Tony had disappeared from view.

“Where-” Drew looked around, unsure how someone as big as Tony Nese could vanish.

“Down here,” he heard Tony giggle; somehow, he’d managed to wedge himself into the bottom shelf, and was submerged in a pile of stuffed animals. Another look was taken to see if the store associate was paying attention before Drew crouched down.

“What’re you doing?” Drew’s eyebrows were raised in disbelief.

“Well, I found this friend to match your whole look today.” A large plush cow was lifted up and handed to Drew. “And I thought it looked comfortable. Wanna join me?”

“Sure?” Drew nervously laughed, and was caught off guard when Tony grabbed at his arm and pulled him into the pile. He tried to focus on making some kind of quip about all of this to feel less awkward; all he kept thinking about was how close Tony was and how they were face to face, how their knees were touching and how Tony’s hand was still on his arm. There was a moment of silence as they looked at one another, and the emotional overstimulation was almost too much to bear.

“Ariya said that you’ve been a wreck,” Tony stated with what sounded like a hint of a concern.

“Of course he did,” sighed Drew. The hand on his arm turned to a squeeze, and he shut his eyes as he relished in the contact. “That’s the understatement of the century.”

“Well, he said other things, too. That was kind of the gist of it.”

Opening his eyes back up, Drew took a shuttery breath in an attempt to keep steady. “Tony, I screwed up.”

“You did,” Tony acknowledged, his hand slowly moving from off of Drew’s arm. “And it hurt a lot, in a lot of ways.”

“I’ve spent the past month trying to figure out how to fix it, and I don’t know if there’s anything that can actually make up for what I did to you.” Frowning, Drew watched as Tony’s gaze dropped, like he was reliving what happened. “But I’d do absolutely anything you’d want me to, Tony. Anything you want to make it up to you.” As the words tumbled out, Drew felt his eyes water as the pressure behind them built up. “I’d stand in the ring for you in front of 20,000 people and let you beat the hell out of me if-”

"Anything?” Tony softy interrupted.

“Yeah, anything.” Drew’s bottom lip quivered as he whispered the response.

“Take me out to dinner, your treat.”

“But we just ate?” Tears were blinked back as Drew looked at Tony in confusion.

“No, tomorrow night.” Looking back up, Tony’s expression was open and fragile, like all of this could simply crumble again. It was bravery that Drew wished he could possess for himself.

“OK,” Drew meekly replied. “Just us?”

“You owe me one.” Tony’s wistful smile hurt and the implication of his words were like shards of glass, but it was not an undeserved feeling.

“So it’s a date?” As Drew spoke, the hand that had been on his arm returned, slowly sliding up to his shoulder and resting there. He couldn’t keep from shuddering. Tony’s nose was centimeters from his own, and Drew wanted nothing more than to cup his face or stroke his beard.

“It’s a date,” Tony confirmed. He leaned in enough so that the tips of their noses did brush against one another, and it felt like lightning coursed through Drew’s veins. Instinctively, he parted his lips, but a loud cough from several feet away caused them both to look up.

“Maybe we should go,” Drew weakly suggested, to which Tony agreed. After helping one another up, they could see Ariya having a conversation with the sales associate down the aisle. The occasional eyeroll was shot in their direction.

Tony insisted on purchasing the cow that they’d cuddled, and once they’d all left the store, it was handed to Drew.

“I can't take this!” Drew exclaimed.

“You have to, she’s imprinted on you!” Tony laughed, and Drew gave in without further argument, tightly hugging the plush.

As this went on, Ariya shouted something to the effect of ‘no making out in public places!’. Drew turned to protest, but Tony distracted him a quick peck on the cheek.

“So, tomorrow?” Tony asked as he got ready to head to his rental car.

“Tomorrow!” Drew squeaked out, burying his face in the cow to hide his dazed grin.

Chapter Text

Drew hadn’t once let go of the stuffed cow that entire night; it sat on his lap on the way to hotel, it stayed tucked under his arm while he brushed his teeth, and he clutched it tightly after he crawled into bed. The smell of Tony’s cologne lingered from off of the fabric and made Drew’s insides warm, and though it wasn’t quite as good as cuddling had been or that kiss on the cheek from earlier, it was still very nice.

“So what’s tomorrow?” Ariya waggled his eyebrows from over on his bed.

“None of your business!” Drew hastily responded.

“Is it a date?” Ariya’s teasing caused Drew to bury his face again. There was a moment of silence, before a surprised, “Wait, really?”

“Y-yeah,” stammered Drew. “He asked me out and we were supposed to go on one the night of...the incident, but-”

“Wait, you guys weren’t already like. A thing?” Drew’s head snapped up at that, now unconcerned for how flushed his face looked.

“A thing?”

“Well yeah, I thought -everyone thought- that you guys were y’know,” Ariya crossed his index and middle fingers. “Together. That’s why you were so upset this past month, right?”

“I was upset because I hurt my best friend!” Drew exclaimed.

“But you go to bed together!”

“Because you always want your own bed.”

“OK, but you talk about one another all the time when the other one is gone, and you always sit in the back seat of the car together unless one of you is driving and then the other automatically gets shotgun.” Drew’s nose scrunched up he tried to recall every incident that Ariya was referring to. “When we go out to eat, he always gives you a bite of his dessert and feeds it to you, and you very willingly accept it. Why do you think I’ve always given you guys an hour alone in the hotel room every night?”

“Because you’re out partying? And yeah, OK I’ve liked him for a really, REALLY long time,” Drew admitted, his face searing. “But I didn’t even in a million years think that he might feel the same way, until last month. And I’m still not even sure!”

“Dude, no offense, but Tony is literally the only person that actually cares even a little bit about your Powerpoint presentations. And he cares about them a lot.”

“Hey!” Drew shouted, then chewed on his bottom lip. After another pause, he quietly continued with, “You really thought that we were a couple?”

“Admittedly yes, and a good one at that,” Ariya confirmed before he rolled over. Drew took that as a sign that the conversation was over, and turned the lamp on the nightstand off. It took quite a while to fall asleep, caught between how much anxiety he was experiencing over the upcoming date and reflecting on all of the examples Ariya had given. How had he not noticed any of...well, any of it! And though it was incredibly unlikely that Ariya would mess with him over something this important, there was a part of him that held a lot of doubt over everything.

As he at last drifted off, he remebered a time that they’d been driving for hours through the night. At some point as they both dozed in the backseat, his head wound up on Tony’s shoulder and their hands had found one another. He vividly remembered a kiss that was planted on his forehead and his hand was squeezed tightly, but when it happened he told himself that it was just a dream and wasn’t real.

Come morning, Drew had only gotten a few hours of solid sleep, but he was too wired try to go back to bed. He paced room, the halls, the lobby, and the gym, but he couldn’t settle down. His best suit was laid out and tie options were extensively sorted through, asking Ariya several times if he should go with an analogous or complementary scheme. After many glasses of water were consumed and countless deep breaths were taken, he head out over an hour early. Another bouquet of flowers were purchased, and then he sat in the car and waited. A text was sent to Tony just to confirm that they were still on for tonight, and the four minutes that it took for him to respond dragged on for what may as well have been forever.

sure are, just got out of the shower :) came Tony’s response. Drew adjusted his necktie when the car suddenly grew a few degrees warmer, and he cranked the AC for good measure. While he waited, the radio had been scanned several times over, but nothing really settled him down. At 10 minutes before they were supposed to meet up, he exited the car and went inside. He kept an eye on his watch, and as soon as he noticed that it was two minutes past the time they agreed on, panic started to fester. This had to be revenge, cruel but not unwarranted. Tony wasn’t coming, he’d never ever liked Drew to begin with and this was all an elaborate scheme. Drew considered bailing now, before his heart imploded or worse, he finally broke down crying after all this time.

“Hi!” Tony’s voice was right behind him, and before Drew could turn around there was another quick peck on his cheek. “You weren’t waiting long, were you?”

“No!” Drew half-lied as he watched Tony take the seat from across the small table, his heart racing; he would probably sound completely out of his mind if he admitted when he’d gotten here.

“Sorry, I had to find parking. I know you like to get to places early.” Tony smiled apologetically, which didn’t help the whole hammering heart thing; not that anything about Tony helped that at all in general, not with how great he smelled or his skinny jeans or the collared shirt that he had on with the buttons that looked as though they were desperately clinging for dear life.

“I’m fine, really,” Drew smiled back, nervous and genuine. His palms started to get sweaty as it dawned on him that this was it, this was the actual date and no one was coming to interrupt. There was dim lighting and candles and everything. His eyes flicked down to the bouquet by his side and then back up at Tony, and he cleared his throat. “I uh. I got these for you.”

“Wha- oh!” Tony blinked in surprise as Drew presented the flowers.

“I got flowers for you last time, to say that I was sorry. Not that it was enough, but I didn’t know what else-”

“Last time?” Tony interrupted. “Drew, did you actually still go?”

“I thought it was all a work, like you guys had discussed something beforehand.” Oh god, this wasn’t the time or place to discuss this, but the words were tumbling out and Drew couldn’t stop himself. “And I thought maybe there’d be some grand reveal, or. You know what, I don’t know what I was thinking. But yeah, I went. It’s not important now.”

“Jesus, Drew,” Tony laughed incredulously, shaking his head.

“You know that I’m sorry, right?” Drew blurted out and heard his voice crack at the last word.

“I know you are.” There was a heavy sigh, and Drew worried that he’d already ruined things before they’d even properly started. He stared down at the table, ashamed and scared and full of turmoil, but when he felt a hand on top of his own, he looked back up. Fingers linked together, and it was enough to settle down.

From there, things moved naturally. They only briefly touched upon what they’d been up to for the past month, and instead focused on things like the upcoming tour and the NFL playoffs. Drew excitedly rambled for a good while about his pride for the Eagles, sometimes pausing to ask if he was talking too much, but Tony always assured him that he wasn’t. Tony asked how The Last Jedi was, and a sharp pang of guilt stabbed at Drew.

“Ariya told me that you went together, it’s OK,” Tony tried his best to assure.

“I really wanted to go with you, though,” Drew frowned.

“It’s still in theaters, we can still catch it.”

“Alright,” nodded Drew.

Drinks were ordered, then dinner, and hour after hour passed by so quickly the Drew hadn’t noticed until waitstaff came by to ask if they wanted dessert and he looked down at his watch. Unsurprisingly, Tony’s sweet tooth took over and he all-too enthusiastically indulged.

“That’s like a diabetic’s worst nightmare,” Drew laughed at the chocolate peanut mousse monstrosity that was set down at this table. Tony looked up and grinned.

“Wanna try it?” He already had a spoonful ready, and Drew recalled what Ariya said earlier.

“Yes.” The word was barely out before the spoon was at his lips, which he parted to oblige. It was sweet and decadent and full of more empty calories than he could imagine, but it was worth it to see Tony beam happily at him. After he’d swallowed last bit, Tony reached across and swiped his thumb at the corner of Drew’s mouth.

“You had a little bit there,” Tony explained before he brought the chocolate covered thumb to his own mouth, which Drew definitely didn’t stare at.

Sadly, the check eventually did come, and Drew pulled his credit card out to pay for the bill. He swatted Tony’s wallet away, eager to keep his end of the bargain and pay for the meal.

“It was a joke!” Tony reiterated a few times, even after everything had been paid for and they were back outside.

“You said that this was what I had to do!” Drew would always respond. They’d aimlessly wandered for several minutes, repeating the same thing. Maybe it was just to stall. The rental car loomed close by, and Drew had no desire to return to it.

“So...I think we’re actually staying at the same place,” Tony pointed out. “I was talking about it with Ariya.”

“Oh,” nodded Drew. He swallowed, not wanting this to end yet, just needing another hour, another minute, anything. “Well uh. Y’know, economically it might just make more sense to drive back together?”

“Yeah, I was kind of thinking that!” Tony laughed, but it sounded nervous; while he did not want to get his hopes up only to be crushed, he wondered if the sentiment was mutual.

“I’ll drive,” offered Drew. “That way, either myself or Ariya can get you back here in the morning.”

“Great,” Tony mumbled. They climbed into the car and drove back to the hotel. As it turned out, they weren’t on the same floor, but Drew was determined to walk Tony to his room even though his heart sunk a little that they weren’t rooming together. The door was approached and while juggling the bouquet, Tony pulled his keycard out.

“Uh, Tony,” Drew finally spoke up after wringing his hands together the entire elevator ride up. Tony turned to look at him, and Drew swallowed hard again. “I had a really great time tonight.”

“I did too!” Tony smiled brightly, but that gradually faded as they stared at one another. It felt like there was a rock in Drew’s throat, and his mind started to blank.

“So, ‘goodnight’?” Drew took the initiative to plant the kiss on Tony’s face this time, mostly getting a lot of beard. Not wanting to make this any more awkward and satiated with the response, he begun to back away to return to his own room before he could be given the chance to ruin this perfect night.

“W-wait, Drew!” Tony had practically shouted, and Drew stopped dead in his tracks. “Don’t you want to...y’know...come inside?”

Drew blinked several times, unable to fully process what he had just heard. He was still several feet away and full of hesitation when he asked, “Is that OK?”

“I’d really like you to,” he sheepishly shrugged.

“I’d really like to,” Drew breathlessly uttered as he allowed his arm to be taken and guided into the room.

Chapter Text

“I don’t have anything to put these in.” Tony shut the door behind them and pursed his lips as he stared at the bouquet. A look was taken around the room, before he shouted “ah!” and rushed over to the ice bucket that was on top of the mini fridge. While Tony hurried about, Drew helplessly watched without any idea of what to do or where to stand. As if his mind had been read, Tony shouted over the sound of running water from the bathroom, “Make yourself comfortable!”

“Should I put a movie on?” Drew asked as he took a seat at the very end of of the lone king-sized bed.

“If you want?” Tony called out, and Drew could practically see the cocked eyebrow aimed at him. Glancing around for the remote, he spotted it on the nightstand. It was much too far to reach by stretching out, so he slid over towards it. Before he could grab it, Tony resurfaced with an ice bucket full of flowers and set it down on the desk. Drew simply couldn’t help but look over, Tony’s backside was framed so perfectly and he was so worthy of admiration; even when he knew he’d been caught staring and felt himself flushed with embarrassment, it didn’t make the sentiment any less true. Tony smirked when their eyes met, which prompted Drew to hastily snatch the remote, nearly drop it, and somehow turn on the TV.

“Looks like the only thing on is re-runs of Ghost Adventures!” Drew spat out at last, barely looking through the channel guide.

“That’s fine,” Tony shrugged and made his way over to the bed, settling in just left to the center. A few minutes passed before it cut to commercial, and Drew was still frozen in place at the edge of the mattress. “You know,” Tony spoke up. “You might be more comfortable over here.”

“Is that OK?” Drew asked for what he thought was maybe the 5th or 6th time tonight, and he internally cringed at himself at how terribly awkward he was. It was amazing that he’d even gotten this far with anyone, let alone the object of his affection.

“Please?” Tony’s plea made Drew’s spine tingle. “Sit with me?”

Wordlessly, Drew obliged and met Tony in the middle. They sat propped up with a mountain of pillows behind their back, and Tony’s foot occasionally poked at Drew’s ankle. At one point, the lack of sleep from the night before felt as though it was beginning to catch up to him which resulted in a yawn and a wide stretch; as soon as he went to drop his arm, he found Tony underneath it.

“Hi there,” Drew murmured, afraid if he spoke too loudly it’d ruin this delicate moment he’d been trying so desperately to repair.

“Hey,” Tony whispered back. Seconds that seemed like hours had passed where neither had said a word, and Drew wondered if Tony could feel the hammer of his heartbeat from where he lay. More seconds passed, or maybe they were minutes or days and Drew just couldn’t tell anymore, but he held Tony close to him and never wanted to let go for the rest of his natural life. His heart was caught in his throat when he felt Tony start to wriggle away, and he immediately released his hold, terrified that he’d finally crossed an unspoken boundary.

Never in a million lifetimes, in all the times that stars and universes were formed and burned out, in the expanse of infinity, had he anticipated Tony Nese crawling into his lap, Tony Nese straddling him, Tony Nese’s eyes boring into his own with intensity and reverence.

“Drew,” Tony breathed out, causing Drew to shudder. Lips hovered just over his own, and he leaned in just enough so that they brushed against one another. “Is this OK?” Tony quietly teased in the barely existent space between their mouths, and Drew involuntarily smiled at that. He answered by fully closing that gap, questioning whether or not this was reality when he heard Tony whimper. Arms draped around his neck, and he responded by snaking his own around Tony’s midsection. As his hands trailed upwards, he could feel Tony gasp into the kiss and their bodies pressed closer.

Tilting his head deepened the kiss, and it was like lightning coursed through Drew’s veins when Tony’s tongue grazed his. He clutched at Tony’s back, fingers digging into tight muscles and the heat from his body radiating through the shirt. Each minor motion was intoxicating, from the way Tony ran his hands through Drew’s hair to the way one would break for air, only to have the other chase their mouth back to regain full contact again.

The only thing that would have made it more perfect is if Drew wasn’t so exhausted. And for as much as he wanted to kiss Tony forever and ever, he couldn’t stifle his yawns anymore.

“Tired?” Tony finally asked in between labored pants.

“I’m sorry,” Drew sighed. “I didn’t sleep well last night, I was too nervous about tonight and-”

“Don’t be.” Tony planted a kiss on the top of Drew’s head. “Maybe...maybe we should slow it down anyway?”

“Should I go?” Drew couldn’t bring himself to look up. He didn’t want to see anything unspoken, how he messed up a really good time and wasn’t worth dating to begin with.

“Do you want to leave?” Tony’s hands cupped Drew’s face, and Drew closed his eyes and shook his head. “Then stay.”

“Alright,” Drew nodded, not suppressing the yawn this time. He allowed himself to be pulled under the covers and into a tight embrace. “You’re really OK with stopping here?”

“It’s fine. We wouldn’t have been able to get too far anyway, turns out my skinny jeans are like, way too tight. I’m gonna need baby oil to get out of them.” They both laughed, and Drew tucked his head in the crook of Tony’s neck.

“I’ve missed you so much,” Drew drowsily murmured.

“Missed you, too. Don’t think I’ve really slept in over a month.” Tony’s words started to slur. Drew wanted to agree, but his entire body was heavy as a stone, so instead he simply nodded.

Somehow, before consciousness completely faded, their hands found one another; Drew promised himself that he wouldn’t treat this like a dream.