Archive of Our Own

“You’re late!”

The reminder of Renjun’s tardiness has become a daily fixture in his life, so naturally, Renjun only rolls his eyes at Donghyuck and Jaemin who are both giving him unimpressed stares. Jaemin slides the drink he had asked them to order when he said that he would be running late after, still with a dissatisfied look on his face that has also become a fixture in his life, so Renjun only smiles sheepishly at Jaemin and digs his pocket for money to pay Jaemin back the cost of his order.

Jaemin nudges his head towards Donghyuck, who is sitting next to him and is on his phone again after he gave the signature look earlier to Renjun. “Donghyuck paid.”

Renjun puts the money under Donghyuck’s ear, and Donghyuck absentmindedly takes it before the money falls off, and shoves it in his pocket. Then, he types something on his phone, and finally pockets his phone, taking his drink, and looking at Renjun with an arched eyebrow. “What’s the reason this time, Injun?”

Renjun knows his friends are joking. Renjun’s tardiness is just an old habit that dies hard at this point, and his friends know. They always tease him that if there’s ever a fire evacuation in his apartment building, Renjun would probably be the last one to come out, and Renjun always takes it in a stride, laughing at their jokes. Tardiness is a habit that Renjun puts every year on his new year’s resolutions to stop doing, but it’s easier said than done.

Renjun shrugs, an embarrassed smile on his face. “Woke up late.”

Renjun is not really lying. His friends invited him out for lunch today. It’s a Friday, so naturally, after being back from China with his parents just the previous day for their summer break, he decided to sleep in. The plan to go for lunch had been at one in the afternoon, so Renjun had set his alarm at twelve, since the the restaurant they’re in right now is in close proximity to his apartment. Except things don’t exactly always go Renjun’s way, so Renjun woke up at fifty-seven past twelve, freaked out a little, texted in their group chat that he would be late. So after showering quickly, haphazardly putting on clothes he dug through his luggage, he went off brisk walking towards the restaurant.

Thirty minutes late.

“Don’t you think it counts as standing your date up if you show up thirty minutes late?” Jaemin muses, and he leans back on his chair, looking at Renjun in wonder. He nudges Donghyuck softly, and gestures to Renjun with his chin. “What do you think? Shouldn’t he apologise to his dates?”

Donghyuck jokingly considers, and he nods seriously. “Yeah, definitely. Apologise.”

The word dates leave a bitter tinge to Renjun’s mouth, but Renjun just rolls his eyes at his friends, leaning forward, taking his fork, and rolling the untouched spaghetti on the table around the fork. Renjun looks at them and deadpans. “You’re both stupid.”

The reply made his friends snort a little, and they leaned forward, too, eating the spaghetti together. This has also been a habit they all implemented when they go try out new restaurants. This particular restaurant is a new one, a quaint little italian place near campus, so they’re not exactly sure what they like, so they ordered three dishes to share between themselves. So now on the table, there’s spaghetti bolognaise, margherita pizza, garlic bread, and cheesy fries. All equally unhealthy and definitely not the closest definition to nutritious, but considering that it’s technically still the holidays, and Renjun had been eating healthily, courtesy of his grandmother, Renjun couldn’t care less.

“How was China?” Donghyuck says conversationally, helping himself to the pizza, munching comfortably.

“China is China,” Renjun replies, shrugging, because really, there’s all there is to it. “Ate good chinese food. Got a decent amount of sleep. Stayed with my wàipo. Shopped with my parents. Met up with my friends. All that good stuff.”

The summer break in China had been mundane at its’ best. The exact distraction Renjun needed after the gruelling and energy consuming finals, and other things that consumed his mind during the whole Spring semester. He binge watched shows he missed during the semester, met up with a few friends he still kept in contact with from elementary, and just shopped around. Days were spent at his grandma’s home, sometimes helping her cook, and he stayed in his mother’s brother’s untouched bedroom, and his parents at his mother’s old room. His family always makes it a point to visit China when Renjun ever has school break, so they took the chance to visit during the summer break. The distractions were nice, and the fact that school is reopening soon makes Renjun feels dreary, already settling in his tummy weirdly at the reminder.

“Same,” Jaemin agrees. “Spent the break doing absolutely nothing. It was a bliss. I think I watched too many movies.”

“You’re all so boring,” Donghyuck complains, disgustingly talking while still having food in his mouth, so Renjun makes a face at him that Donghyuck ignores. “You didn’t even go to parties? Don’t the liberal arts students host the best parties?”

Jaemin grunts at that, not agreeing nor disagreeing. “They’re animals sometimes. I can’t bear. I did went to a few parties, obviously. But it all just got repetitive eventually, and the alcohol gets shittier the more parties I go to.”

“Rich bitch,” Donghyuck mutters under his breath, and Renjun snorts at that, laughing as he covers his mouth. Jaemin nudges Donghyuck warningly, laughter also just about to roll of his mouth at the frequently heard insult. “So used to good alcohol, aren’t you?”

“Fuck you,” Jaemin spits out jokingly, and the three of them share a laugh.

The rest of the lunch was spent like that. With mindless talks, gossips, and comfortable questions. It’s always like that with Donghyuck and Jaemin. Comfortable and nice. They met during first year. Some time during orientation week, when everyone was still awkward with everyone, and Renjun’s anxiety was bursting through the roof at the thought of making new friends again. It’s a good university, sure, but the thought of being with people made Renjun anxious. But he somehow found Jaemin and Donghyuck, and awkward talks turned into a blossoming friendship. That was around a year and a half ago.

-

Renjun stares at his History book with a disinterested glare. The words from the book is getting blurry by the second, eyes hazed with sleep and boredom. He only started studying an hour ago with the full intention of getting an early read before the new semester starts, but being demotivated as the clock ticks by, the sleepiness just came washing over him easily, knocking him over his study table, making him rest his head on the table to concentrate on not getting sleepy, instead of the study materials in front of him.

There’s a tentative knock on Renjun’s bedroom door, and Renjun looks up sleepily, not saying anything. Mark enters right after, with a small frozen smile on his face. He looks at Renjun, fidgeting slightly on his tippy toes as he does, looking guilty like he did something wrong, and that piqued Renjun’s interest enough for the sleepiness to get washed off a little. “What’s wrong, hyung?”

Mark smiles again, and Renjun is starting to get suspicious now, so he sits properly on his spinny chair and looks at Mark with a worried look, which Mark coughs at. “Injun,” he begins, and just from that Renjun somehow knows Mark is going to say something that he won’t like. Renjun braces himself for the worst, switching his expression to look at Mark with a blank expression on his face that Mark seems to be intimidated by. “Hyung has to move out soon.”

Renjun feels a low drop to his tummy at the sudden news. Renjun blinks at Mark wordlessly, and Mark looks back, gnawing on his bottom lip as he does. Various thoughts fly through his head about what to do with Mark missing. How will he even pay the bills? The only reason why he was able to afford the kind of nice apartment in the big city is because his parents paid the deposit and half of the rent with the condition he has a roommate to pay the other half of the rent. Plus, the only reason why his parents paid for his apartment is because of his scholarship to the uni. Renjun doesn’t think his parents would even want to pay the other half of the rent if he tells them. So Renjun only looks at Mark with furrowed brows, a small pout on his lips.

“Hyung,” Renjun says pitifully, and the sleepiness from earlier was definitely wiped away now with the sudden news.

“Injun,” Mark whines. “You know how the only reason I’m living here is because my parents aren’t in Seoul. But they moved recently, and said I could take the extra room in the new apartment. So I can’t exactly say no. I could even quit my part time job now!”

Renjun is happy for Mark, truly. But just thinking of the extra expenses he has to make for the other half of the rent is making him feel weird and uncomfortable. Like constipation weird. Like having another things on top of his other worries. So Renjun sighs. “How will I even find a new roommate?”

“I’ll ask around. I know a lot of people who are looking for apartments.” Mark says, and he is actually done with the fidgeting. Earlier jitters he had about breaking the news to Renjun dissipating. He looks excited now, and he moves to Renjun to pat his hair softly. “You were a very good roommate, you know.”

Renjun rolls his eyes at Mark, snorting as he shoves Mark away from him, and Mark stumbles a little, laughing as he does. Mark plops down on Renjun’s bed, pulling Renjun’s comforter up so he can snuggle into it. “Sure, which is why you’re moving out,” Renjun says jokingly, and Mark gives a good-natured laugh at the small jab. “When are you gonna move out, anyway?”

“In a month or so?” Mark questions, and Renjun nods, getting up, and choosing to just give up studying since with the recent burden added up, he won’t be able to focus just yet. Renjun slides next to Mark under the covers, and they sort of just lay on Renjun’s queen-sized bed in a comfortable silence.

Renjun and Mark have known each other for quite a while. They met during middle school, when Renjun was just starting and Mark just graduating middle school. Mark was just sort of the senior everyone knew. With his position in the school’s volleyball team, impeccable grades, and his naturally sociable personality, Mark pretty much was everyone’s acquaintance. Even if you aren’t, you probably know him. Renjun just got lucky Mark was interested in becoming his friend too, and they somehow went to the same uni, and Mark was looking for a place to say because dorms are unbearable at times. So now here they are.

“Make sure my new roommate you’re recruiting isn’t a serial killer,” Renjun says dryly, and he’s now on his phone, scrolling through his Instagram feed mindlessly, double-tapping when he sees posts from his friends or classmates.

“Yes, sir,” Mark responds easily, and he turns to look at Renjun. “You know, even if I find you a roommate, you’re never gonna find someone as good as me.”

“You’re too deep in your own ass, hyung,” Renjun replies, with a fake pitiful tone in his voice that Mark immediately detects, so he takes Renjun’s pillow and starts hitting Renjun with it. “I’m sorry!” Renjun squeaks.

Mark stops, and they sort of fall into this comfortable haze of giggles, the darkness of the night and the dim light in Renjun’s room blanketing the room warmly. Mark talks about how today during his weekly hospital visit, his batch was given the opportunity to see a pregnant woman giving birth. Mark describes all the gory details, and Mark tells Renjun that one of his classmates even fainted from the amount of blood, but Mark was so fascinated, the blood barely bothered him. It’s nice. The talks. The comfort.

-

Renjun thinks whoever invented the idea that the new semester should be celebrated can go drown in the drain. The new semester just started, and it’s finally Friday, and all Renjun wants to do is to drown in his bedroom and preferably sleep forever. The professors are getting harsher despite it being only the first week of school reopening. Countless of homework every night ever since the first day, and Renjun is already looking forward to when the next long break is.

His plans for Friday all go down in a drain when Jaemin texted in the groupchat for Renjun to open the door of his apartment. Renjun is already at the lobby of his apartment complex by the time he read the text. Renjun furrows his eyebrows at the text, and he clicks the up button on the lobby’s lift as he quickly shoots a quick why text to the group. Renjun should’ve known that this was coming, but he didn’t so he mindlessly goes up to the floor of his apartment, walks to his apartment, only to be greeted by the sight of Donghyuck and Jaemin right in front of his apartment door, both with excited grins on their face when they see Renjun approaching them.

“What are you doing?” Renjun says as he shoos them away from crowding in front of the door, and punching in his code. “Mark-hyung is still here, you know. You could’ve just ring the doorbell like any normal person would. I’m pretty sure he’s home.”

“Well, yeah,” Donghyuck agrees as the door finally unlocks, and they all enter the apartment and opening their shoes at the doorway, Renjun putting his shoes neatly on his shoe rack. “But we barely know Mark-hyung. It’s kind of awkward.”

“He’s your senior,” Renjun reminds, heading to the kitchen, merely separated from the living room by a built in bar table. “You want a drink or something? We only have water, really. And cans of coke Mark-hyung wouldn’t mind we take.”

“Me. Coke.” Jaemin says, and Renjun wordlessly pours water in a glass, and crouches down to the bottom refrigerator to take Jaemin’s (Mark’s) coke.

“What are you even doing here?” Renjun asks, an eyebrow arched at his friends’ sudden barge. This isn’t really the first time they had done this. Donghyuck usually comes over when he is suddenly sexiled from his dorm, and is in need of a refuge, or even when he needs a place to study. Jaemin also comes over sometimes when the sounds of his parents arguing get too much for him to handle. Hell, they even sometimes suddenly decide that they want to see Renjun. Renjun doubts they want to see him now, so he says it. “I doubt that you guys even miss me. Spill.”

Donghyuck fakes a hurt look on his features, his lips pouting, as he slumps against his arm that is rested on the bar table. “You hurt me, Injun. I miss you, you know. It has been so long since we last saw each o--”

“We walked to school together yesterday,” Jaemin reminds bluntly, stopping Donghyuck’s antics which has Donghyuck slapping Jaemin’s back in annoyance. Jaemin turns to look at Renjun, who is sitting across them on the bar table, and is looking at both of them with a pointed look. “Fine. There’s a party by the liberal arts students. You’re coming.”

“No,” Renjun replies bluntly, abruptly getting up, taking his bag he threw on the couch earlier, and draping it over his shoulders, and moving quickly to his room at the end of the hallway. Renjun hears his friends’ footsteps follow after him, moving quickly because they know Renjun would lock the door of his room if they lag behind and continue being annoying. They have to be in the room to keep pestering Renjun anyway.

“You have to!” Jaemin screeches, successfully preventing Renjun from slamming his door shut by holding his foot out. Jaemin plops on Renjun’s bed, Donghyuck moving to Renjun’s spinny chair to spin. “I managed to score us invites.”

“You’re full of shit!” Renjun guffaws, throwing his bag to Jaemin, not caring what his friend’s reaction is because Renjun knows the bag is light. “There are no invites in college parties. Everyone is invited as long as you heard about it.” Jaemin makes an exaggerated groan that Donghyuck snorts at.

“I told you that we should have went for flattery, Jaemin,” Donghyuck says pointedly. He turns to look at Renjun who are assessing his friends with unimpressed looks. “I told him, Injun.”

“If flattery means you guys missing me, you have a messed up definition of flattery,” Renjun shrugs, and he plops down on his bed too, nudging at Jaemin who is laying down with his feet. “And either way, I won’t be going.”

“Yes you will,” Jaemin begs, and Renjun cries out a whine at that, nudging Jaemin again. “Stop that. What are you even gonna do in the room all night? Jack off? Watch dramas? You could do that tomorrow!”

“I could,” Renjun says calculatively, and he nudges Jaemin’s sides again out of spite. “But I wanna do it tonight. All of them.”

“Ugh,” Jaemin complains, crinkling his nose.

“Oh, come on, Injun,” Donghyuck whines too, and he throws an eraser from Renjun’s desk at Renjun that Renjun catches, casting Donghyuck a scandalised look after. “It’s the party where everyone is going. To celebrate the new semester. Even your Mark-hyung. He’s a medical student.”

“Everyone’s going?” Renjun echoes, lifting his body up from the mattress a little to take his phone from his back pocket, then returning his back to the mattress. “More reason to not go.”

“Is it because of Guanlin?”

Renjun freezes. The question hangs lowly in the air. Awkwardly, heavily, and weirdly. That’s the first time they had mentioned the name ever since Renjun admitted to them awkwardly that they had broken up when they ate together during lunch just before summer break started. They had been empathetic, hands patting Renjun’s shoulders, and joking words of hatred towards Guanlin was thrown. But Renjun had smiled awkwardly, brushing them off. Renjun is sort of surprised it took them this long to mention his name again. And Renjun is sort of surprised at the unfamiliar burn through his chest. He must’ve forgotten about him a little when school started, too caught up in his own life to remember him. But now that Donghyuck mentioned the name again, it leaves a burn. Renjun’s throat feels constricted. At the thought of him, and the memories.

“No,” Renjun says hoarsely, and he coughs. Renjun can see from the corner of his eyes that Jaemin is shooting glares at Donghyuck for bringing him up. “Actually, yeah. Don’t really want to see him.”

Donghyuck throws a sympathetic smile at Renjun, and he plops on Renjun’s bed, so all of them are sort of this mess of limbs in the bed. “We’ll stop you from ever bumping into him, Injun. Come on, you can’t let him stop you from doing things, you know.”

Renjun sort of wants to lash out. To tell Donghyuck to shut up, and to tell Jaemin to stop looking at him like that. Renjun feels like telling them that he’s fine, and he knows what he wants more than their mere speculations, and he’s not even letting someone who left him control his life. He’s not. Except he kind of is. Renjun is okay with partying. But with the knowledge of him might being there, he’s cowering. He’s avoiding the health science’s building because Renjun’s scared of bumping into him, and looking into his eyes again, and realising all he had lost. The sole fact of his friends being right stop him from shooting profanities at them.

“Fine,” Renjun shrugs, and he gets up. “Drink lots of water, guys. And call your dorm to tell them you’re not coming, Hyuck, please. We don’t want another call to your parents. I know you two will end up staying here tonight, anyway.”

His friends shoot him a sheepish grin, and off they go.

-

Renjun didn’t really plan on getting drunk tonight. Renjun’s limit is at fifth cup, and sixth means he’s going to start being weird and clingy, seventh means he’s going to blackout, eighth just means a death wish. This is the second cup. Renjun can still see, and he can still hear Jaemin still whining about the shitty alcohol, so yeah, he’s kind of sober. Kind of. Donghyuck is out there somewhere, dancing, and looking nice because Donghyuck had only down a cup before he decided to go to the floor. At the floor of the house where the party is at. Some rich kid’s house whose parents are probably away, or he has his own house, which are both equally plausible. Jaemin is still by his side mostly because of the earlier promise of protecting Renjun from seeing him. Renjun appreciates the sentiment, truly, but if he hears Jaemin’s rich ass complain about the shitty alcohol one more time, he’s probably going to find him just to get Jaemin to stop talking about the alcohol. Well, not really. But it’s a perspective to show how far Renjun would go for Jaemin to stop whining.

Renjun narrows his eyes at Jaemin, and says softly in Jaemin’s ears. “You can go, you know. I can take care of myself.”

Renjun can see Jaemin contemplating, arguments about to roll of his tongue at Renjun’s words, but he relents when he sees the exasperated on Renjun’s face. “Fine.” Jaemin goes to the floor, blending in well with the crowd, and Renjun looks away, choosing to take his phone out of his pocket, and thumbing out a response to his mother’s text asking him if he has eaten dinner. Proper dinner, his mother follows soon after. Yes, ma, Renjun replies. Renjun hasn’t eaten dinner. And the last time he did was during lunch in the cafeteria, but he figures a white lie can’t hurt that much. Renjun is just about to go to Twitter to get rid of his boredom after he’s on his fourth cup when a guy slides next to Renjun.

“Hello,” the guy says to Renjun, and Renjun looks up from his phone in alarm. Renjun studies him a little, and by how Renjun can conjure up the fact that the person is handsome is enough indication for Renjun to know that he’s still kind of sober.

“Hello,” Renjun says back, to be polite, but not polite enough to slide his phone to his pockets, so he goes back to his phone, mindlessly clicking a game because his mind thinks that if he scrolls through his social medias, and something stupid or worse, not safe for work, comes up, Renjun would get embarrassed if the guy sees.

“You came here alone?” The guy asks, not relenting.

Renjun bites his tongue to sarcastically say are we in a club or something, but since Renjun still has the mind to stay polite, he replies with a small grimace. “No. With my friends.” Renjun gestures to the crowd on the floor. “Somewhere.”

The guy laughs in acknowledgement, even when Renjun didn’t make a joke, and they sort of fall into this awkward silence, so Renjun goes back to sliding his thumb all over his phone to win the game. “I like that game,” the stranger says, and Renjun feels like crying.

“Oh, me too,” Renjun says, cringing a little on the inside as he does at the awkwardness. “You go here?”

The guys brightens up a little at the question, and nods. “Yeah. Everyone here is from here, don’t you think?”

Renjun snorts, finally pocketing his phone, and he chooses to bore his eyes at the entrance of the house, where (un)invited guests stream through, increasing in numbers as the night ticks by. “Yeah, right. You have no idea how fast party spreads, apparently. Some close unis even go sometimes. It’s the liberal arts students, after all.”

The guy looks amused, but he doesn’t want to seem rude, so he puts his cup over his mouth to hide his smile. “I see. You go to parties often, it seems.”

“Yeah, right,” Renjun says again, and is about to retort when at that moment, the door opens again for the nth time that night. Except, the person that enters at this point is him. Guanlin. Renjun wants to look away, the burn in his throat is not from alcohol anymore, but from just looking at him. Renjun doesn’t want to look. In fact, Renjun hasn’t been looking ever since that day a few weeks before summer break. He deleted their pictures together, but can’t find it in him to throw away their polaroids, so they stay in Renjun’s little drawer on the dresser of his room. Renjun unfollowed his Instagram, but can’t really find it in him to throw away his gifts. Renjun tried. Truly. Renjun wants to look away, but he’s just there, smiling and greeting the people he comes across as he makes his way through the crowd, fistbumping some, and doing handshakes Renjun can never seem to get to the other half he comes across. Renjun wants to look away, but it has been so long, and he’s still shining.

“Hey, you okay?” the guy asks, and he waves a hand in front of Renjun, pulling him out of his trance. Renjun finally looks away, and he quickly downs his cup as he does. The guy looks kind of worried, if the eyebrows acrobatics are anything to go by.

“Yeah,” Renjun says, and he shoots a small smile to the guy now, because he doesn’t exactly want to load the person up with his emotional baggage. “Saw something that surprised me. That’s all.”

“Oh,” the guys says, and he laughs again, his eyebrows finally stop furrowing, calmed a little by Renjun’s reply. “What could even surprise you? Someone sucking dick? I thought you go to parties often.”

“No I don’t,” Renjun snorts, and he makes a move to fill in his cup. This is the last one. Truly. The guy follows, and Renjun can only let him. It’s not like he’s badgering Renjun into sleeping with him or anything, so it’s okay. “And you’ve seen someone sucking dick? What kind of parties have you been to?”

“Weird ones,” the guy chooses to reply, and after Renjun fills up his cup, they go back to their spot by the wall. “My friends are kind of strange.”

“Sounds nice,” Renjun says dryly, and the guy breathes out a laugh at that. “They’re here?”

“Yeah,” the guy says, and he gestures to the crowd like how Renjun did earlier. “Somewhere.”

“What are they like?” Renjun asks, just for the sake of keeping the conversation going, and to distract himself. The mindless conversations are much better than awkward silence anyway.

“Young,” the guy says, scrunching his nose, and Renjun sort of hates how attractive the guy still looks while doing that. “Stupid. As in stupid decisions. Jisung just sort of advocates their shenanigans, and Chenle follows when Jisung asks once. Mark-hyung is just there.”

Renjun misses the last name, the music suddenly getting louder that Renjun is kind of scared that they’re going to get a noise complaint at this point, but Renjun has this fear of asking people to repeat what they said when he misses hearing something, so Renjun doesn’t ask again, but instead asks about him. “What about you? What do you do in the group?”

“I keep the group together,” the guy says half-jokingly. Renjun laughs at that, and the guy looks satisfied at Renjun’s response. Jaemin soon comes bounding towards Renjun, dragging him away without sparing the other guy a look, and Renjun can only turn back and wave at the guy exasperatedly as he gets dragged away. The guy replies with a small wave, and this nice grin, seemingly amused.

“Donghyuck is drunk out of his ass,” Jaemin tells Renjun loudly over the music.

“I thought he only drank one cup,” Renjun muses. His own cup fell somewhere on the floor at Jaemin’s force.

Jaemin rolls his eyes, and they finally reach to where Donghyuck is, and Jaemin takes Donghyuck’s arm, and puts it over his shoulder, so Renjun does the same. “Someone from the floor gave it to him. The stud accepted of course.”

Renjun chuckles, and they walk slowly to the subway station, dragging Donghyuck along as he mumbles nonsense.

“Who was that guy you were talking to, Injun?”

Renjun almost freezes at the thought of that guy again. And he almost laughs in disbelief when he remembers that he didn’t even ask the guy’s name and neither did the guy ask Renjun. “I don’t know, really.”

“He’s hot,” Jaemin says absentmindedly, and Renjun finds himself agreeing.

-

Deadlines, Renjun thinks, is a reason to move forward. A reason to go in life. If Renjun is just floating through college without the deadline to get the law degree, he would probably be miserable (not that he isn’t miserable now). But Renjun also thinks deadlines are the scums of the earth. The assignments are piling up, and Renjun is desperately running just to catch up to the deadlines. Whoever said that college gets better in second year are fucking turds. Renjun is struggling to even study and do his work. That is for short deadlines. Then, there are long deadlines. Long deadlines sort of give out this false sense of security. Like, if Renjun were told that he has two months to complete something, he would have delayed doing it a little with the false sense of security that I have time.  

Another perfect example would be his roommate situation. Renjun had forgotten all about it. Renjun blames it on the fact that all the boxes Mark is using to pack up are in his room, and Renjun doesn’t really go to Mark’s room so he forgot about Mark moving. Except, well, he does go to Mark’s room sometimes, but he just keeps thinking yeah, I’ll find a new roommate soon  And Renjun is sort of lazy to find roommates. He was just kind of hoping that Mark would find a solution for him like how he promised to ask around. Renjun is guilty, sure, for wanting Mark to figure it all out, but then it is Mark’s fault for leaving Renjun, kind of, so he just forgot about it until Mark reminds him.

Renjun is in the living room. Typing away on his laptop on the couch, textbooks and websites reference sprawled on the little coffee table and his desktop. Mark plops down next to Renjun, and Renjun is just about to make a comment about how he can move away a little, and not sit too close, when Mark speaks up.

“You found a roommate yet, Injun?” Mark asks. Renjun can see from his peripheral vision that Mark is holding his own textbook in his hand, with bookmarks littering at the top of the book.

“No,” Renjun replies monotonously.

“Your parents gonna pay for the other half?”

“They don’t know that you’re moving out,” Renjun sighs, still typing on his laptop.

“Hyung’s moving out in, like, a week,” Mark offers, and he casually flips through his textbook. Renjun stops typing, alarmed.

“Wait, really?” Renjun asks hurriedly.

“Yeah. End of month, remember?” Mark reminds, and he’s still fake reading.

“Hyung!” Renjun whines. “How?! I still have this month’s scholarship money, and I’ll have next month’s scholarship money, but,” Renjun sputters. “My money.”

Mark closes his book, and looks at Renjun with a smug smile on his features. “You know you should thank God that you have an amazing hyung like me? Don’t you think?”

“Unless you have a solution to this problem, you’re not the greatest,” Renjun replies dryly.

Mark hits his textbook on Renjun’s side. “Of course I have a solution! What do you take me for? Apologise, meanie!”

“Sorry,” Renjun squeaks, and he leans back on the couch, staring at the opened document in relief. “Who did you find?”

“My close friend was looking for somewhere near uni. Commutes killing him. So, yeah. There you go,” Mark replies, shrugging.

“You had a solution from the beginning, didn’t you?” Renjun says, furrowing his eyebrows at Mark. “You just wanted me to freak out.”

“Yeah,” Mark snickers, and he leans back on the couch. “It was nice seeing you not in control. His name is Lee Jeno, by the way. Second year like you. Psychology major, though.”

“Liberal arts,” Renjun whimpers, and Mark elbows Renjun a little.

“Jeno likes parties, but he’d never host them,” Mark chuckles. “He’s nice. Handsome.”

Renjun returns to his laptop, and gives Mark a weird look. “You sound like you’re setting us up.”

“Setting you up to your second best choice after me as a roommate,” Mark says bluntly, and Renjun is the one to jab at Mark’s side for that, and Mark giggles.

-

The day started out sort of..eerily mundane.

Mundane as in the day goes too well in Renjun’s standard. First, Renjun woke up that morning to find out that he woke up at his first alarm without much lethargy, which was, well, surprising, but nice, because Renjun always feels like shit when he wakes up every school day. Second, Renjun even had time for proper breakfast. He woke up early, so he was early to school too, and Renjun went to the main cafeteria to get the proper Korean breakfast the school serves every morning. Third, he didn’t even have homework. Which was just surprising, because ever since the new semester started, all the school have been doing is bombarding them with homework and assignments.

Renjun kind of feels like a ticking bomb.

Like suddenly, all the fortune he had today will suddenly be gone with one swift kick. And maybe Renjun shouldn’t have thought of that because surely, when he arrived at this cheap restaurant where Jaemin is already sitting at, while waiting for both Donghyuck and Renjun, his luck kind of ran out. Kind of.

“Hey, aren’t you meeting your new roommate today?” Jaemin asks, absentmindedly drinking from his water bottle, eyelashes fanning his cheeks as he blinks innocently at Renjun. Renjun’s blood runs cold. His eyes widening in realisation, and Jaemin, immediately reading him, snorts at Renjun, putting his hand over Renjun’s own lifeless one on the table, and patting it almost patronisingly. “You forgot, huh?”

Renjun whimpers. “Yes.”

Jaemin chuckles, and he takes his hand away from Renjun, putting his water bottle to the side. “Is the apartment clean?”

“Yeah, duh,” Renjun scoffs, and he continues. “My apartment is always clean. Is that even a question?”

“Then why are you so freaked out?” Jaemin complains. “He’s a college student, too, Injun. I’m sure he’s grateful he even has somewhere to live.”

“You’re right,” Renjun grimaces, and Jaemin holds his hand up when he sees Donghyuck entering the restaurant’s door. Donghyuck walks in, and he sits across them, removing the backpack he was using, and putting it on the empty chair next to him. Donghyuck is already looking at Renjun with an arched eyebrow.

“What is he twisting his panties for now?”

“I don’t wear panties,” Renjun could only argue back, and Donghyuck barks out a laugh at that when he sees a nearby table turning their heads towards theirs at Renjun’s words.

“Nice,” Jaemin mutters under his breath, and knocking his knee with Renjun’s lightly. “He forgot he’s meeting his new roommate today.”

“You forgot? You mean you missed the time your roommate is gonna be there?” Donghyuck asks, still with an arched eyebrows.

“No,” Renjun sighs. “He’s gonna be there later. At like four.”

“So what’s the problem?”

“That’s what I asked,” Jaemin laughs.

“Well, I didn’t get to properly like,” Renjun does his hands movements where he does when he can’t find an exact word for his feelings. “Investigate him. I’ve been busy! Mark-hyung told me about him late, and I had like shit tons of things to do.”

“Investigate!” Donghyuck says, incredulity tinting his voice that Renjun glares at. “That’s just stupid, honestly. But, yeah I get you. He could be a serial killer or something.”

“I didn’t think he’d be a seria-- ”

“Of course you don’t think someone is a serial killer at first glance! Hell, you haven’t even met the guy. You’re in even more danger!”

“You’re right!” Jaemin gasps, and he slams his fist on the table.

“You’re both stupid!” Renjun deadpans, and Donghyuck looks at him with a pointed look before shrugging, relenting.

“Fine. What’s his name again?” Jaemin asks, and he’s already taking out his phone.

“Lee Jeno,” Renjun shrugs, and he narrows his eyes at Jaemin. “I’m kind of surprised you don’t know him. He’s a liberal arts major too, remember?”

“I don’t know every liberal arts major, Injun,” Jaemin snorts, and he scrolls through something on his phone. “Especially psychology students.”

“Hm,” Renjun can only say. Their orders come shortly, and Renjun is just about to dig in his food when Jaemin lets out a small sound of victory. Renjun looks at him, and Donghyuck lifts his chin up as a question.

“Found his Instagram,” Jaemin says, clicking his tongue in satisfaction. He looks up though, and shoots a small pout at them. “But it’s private.”

“How did you even find him?” Donghyuck asks curiously.

“Mark-hyung’s followings,” Jaemin shrugs, and he starts eating.

“You follow Mark-hyung?” Donghyuck asks in disbelief.

Jaemin looks back at him weirdly. “Yeah. We know him, don’t we?”

“I guess,” Donghyuck muses. “Did Mark-hyung post anything with this guy?”

“Nope. Mark-hyung only has, like, five pictures on his Instagram. He’s one of those who revamp their Instagram every five seconds, you know?’

“I know,” Donghyuck nods, satisfied. “Guess you’ll have to do further checking on your own, Injun.”

“No use,” Renjun shrugs, and he returns to his food. “I’ll be seeing him later, anyways.”

Donghyuck scoots forward to look clearly at Jaemin’s phone showing Lee Jeno’s Instagram profile, and snorts in disbelief. He shows the phone to Renjun, and Renjun can only look at Donghyuck in confusion. Donghyuck presses. “He puts our uni’s name in his bio. His profile picture is kind of nice. Those faraway shots, though, so you can’t see his face.”

“So?” Renjun scoffs.

“I don’t know! Isn’t that something only tacky people do?” Donghyuck asks, and he leans back on his chair, returning back to his food after giving Jaemin back his phone.

“You’re tacky too, then,” Jaemin snorts, and Renjun next to him highfives him as he laughs. “You have the uni’s name and your major in your bio.”

Donghyuck cowers at that, relenting. “Fine. Not tacky. And definitely not a serial killer.”

“Definitely,” Renjun echoes.

-

The walk back to the apartment is weird, and the thought of this Lee Jeno coming at four is sort of making Renjun more anxious than ever. Mark was his first ever roommate, and even that was okay, because he had known Mark ever since he was in high school. This guy is a stranger. A stranger who will be moving in with Renjun in like three days if he agrees to Renjun’s rules.

It’s around three in the afternoon, and Renjun does some reading for his classes when he arrives at his apartment, but then he was too anxious to actually focus, so he tries to poop, because the anxiety is settling in his tummy in a weird way, but fails, of course. Because the tummy situation isn’t really from constipation. Mark moved out a few days ago, hugging Renjun, and saying cheerily that he’ll see Renjun in school. The apartment has been quiet for a few days, without Mark bustling around, and his pop music playing over the background sometimes. Renjun kind of misses him, as a roommate.

The doorbell rings too soon for Renjun’s liking, and Renjun is in the middle of deciding whether or not eating cereal in the evening is worth it when it happens. Renjun freaks out a little, but composes himself quickly enough for the guy behind the door to not click the doorbell twice. Renjun opens it, and there stands Lee Jeno.

Lee Jeno, at first glance, is the guy from the party. Renjun sort of stands in front of the door for a second, dumbfounded to where his fate has led him to. Lee Jeno seems to recognise Renjun, if the smile and zero hint of surprise in his features are anything to go by. Now that Renjun gets a good look, without the influence of alcohol, he can still safely say that Lee Jeno, or the guy from the party, is still as handsome as that day in the party.

“Hi,” Renjun says, coughing awkwardly to not get caught staring earlier. But judging by how Jeno looks amused makes Renjun feels like he knows. Renjun moves away from the door so that Jeno can enter. Renjun gestures to the shoe rack on the inside. “If you decide to move in, your part of the shoe rack will be the bottom two.”

“I see,” Jeno says, and Renjun thinks he still sounds as good as he did that day. Voice raspy, calming, and quiet. Those descriptions are kind of new. Renjun definitely didn’t think of that when they were talking that day, but now that Renjun hears him again, he sounds, well, the same. Renjun just didn’t realise how good he sounds before.

“This is the kitchen,” Renjun says, gesturing to the kitchen lightly with his head. “When Mark-hyung and I were roommates, we only go grocery shopping together sometimes. But we rarely eat here anyways, so the kitchen is kind of only stocked with ramen. We only buy real food when we know we know we cook, really.” Renjun does his hands acrobatics awkwardly. “You can do whatever you want.”

“Hm,” Jeno says contemplatively, and he looks over to Renjun quickly. “That’s nice.”

“Right,” Renjun coughs awkwardly, and he gestures to the living room. “Living room. The TV was from my room back at home. But there’s no TV cables installed here.” Renjun grimaces. “Sorry if you watch dramas. But the wifi is pretty fast here.”

Jeno nods at that, and Renjun leads him down the hallway, and Renjun can hear Jeno footsteps following him. Renjun gestures to the door right ahead. “This is the bathroom. We have to share a bathroom, obviously. Uh, Mark-hyung and I have different baskets for our shower necessities. So, I hope it stays. And the bathroom sort of needs to be cleaned at least thrice a week. It gets pretty disgusting when you share.”

Jeno nods at that too, and Renjun gestures to the room on the right. “This is my room.” Then, to the left. “This is yours. If you decide to move in, that is.”

Renjun opens the door of the bedroom, and Jeno speculates it a little before nodding with a satisfied grin. “You can invite your friends anytime, by the way. My friends are always over sometimes. And they kind of barge in all the time, so. Yeah, you don’t have to tell me if your friends are coming over. It’s unfair since my friends always barge in.” Renjun says quickly, fidgeting on his tippy toes. Renjun then widens his face in realisation, and clicks his tongue. “Oh, unless you’re bringing someone home. That’s kind of awkward, so. Tell me when that happens.”

Jeno looks amused as Renjun quickly exits the room. “I’m not going to bring someone here if it makes you uncomfortable, you know.”

“Oh,” Renjun says. Renjun casts a quick cursory glance right as he plops down on the couch. “Do you have a girlfriend? Boyfriend? If that’s the case, then I guess I can’t stop you from bringing them over, you know.”

“No,” Jeno laughs, and he slides next to Renjun. They’re too close for Renjun’s liking, but Jeno doesn’t seem to notice. “I don’t have.” He does weird hands movements. “I don’t have any of those.”

“Oh,” Renjun says again. “Well, anyways, yeah. You could bring someone home, just tell me when that happens?”

“I won’t bring someone if it makes you uncomfortable,” Jeno repeats, leaning back on the couch, and making himself at home.

“Why would I be uncomfortable?” Renjun scoffs, and he casts another look at Jeno, but is surprised to find him looking at Renjun with a small amused smile. “Just tell me when that happens. It’s awkward to be hearing people having sex, you know.”

“Do you bring people home, Renjun?” Jeno asks casually.

“I don’t sleep with people,” Renjun replies dryly. “So, no.”

“Fine. I won’t too, then. I don’t really sleep with people, too,” Jeno retorts, shrugging as he does.

“I find that hard to believe,” Renjun mutters under his breath, and Jeno leans forward to look at Renjun, laughing as he does, and Renjun is sort of glad that Jeno doesn’t feel like he is stepping out of line. “Sorry, that’s kind of mean.”

“Not really,” Jeno responds. When Renjun still looks doubtful, he insists. “Really! But I really don’t bring people home, Renjun.”

“Most people call me Injun,” Renjun supplies.

“That’s nice,” Jeno says. Jeno leans back on the couch again, and Renjun pretends he doesn’t notice the glance Jeno casted. “Are we really going to pretend that we haven’t seen each other before?”

“You make it sound like we hooked up, or something,” Renjun snorts in disbelief. “We talked, Jeno. At the party.”

“It was a nice talk,” Jeno shrugs. “Did you know all along it was me moving in?”

“No,” Renjun pouts. “Mark-hyung told me at the very last minute that it was you. And you didn’t really tell me your name at the party. He was testing my responsibility skills, which is something I lack apparently. So, yeah. I didn’t. Did you know it was me?”

“Yeah,” Jeno laughs. “Mark-hyung told me after the party, though. Not like immediately after the party, that’d be weird. And I asked to see how you look like, and I was like, oh, it’s the guy from the party. So.”

“That’s unfair,” Renjun whines. “Mark-hyung didn’t even show me your picture.”

“Did you ask?” Jeno retorts. When Renjun shakes his head, Jeno laughs. “Mark-hyung only does something when you ask him for it, really. Did he say anything more about me?”

Nice, handsome, Mark’s voice echoes, but Renjun shrugs, colouring a little. “Not really. Just told me your name and major. And that we’re the same age.”

“And you accepted just by that?” Jeno asks incredulously. “I think I’d be curious who my roommate will be.”

“That’s the amount of trust I have in Mark-hyung,” Renjun says dryly. “And I was busy. The professors are really being assholes this term.”

“Fair. And same,” Jeno agrees.

-

Jeno moves in shortly after without any fuss, and Renjun remembers to actually send Mark his gratitude, a lot of love emojis, and the promise to treat him food. Mark responds around two hours later, with a selfie of him giving a thumbs up, and threatening Renjun to stay true to his words.

Renjun returns home after a particularly gruelling class of the professor always asking for opinions. His back is hunched, too tired of actually stand properly when his book bag for the day is heavy. His earphones are in, so he’s ignoring everyone, except Renjun waves to the security and reception guys as he passes them as usual. Renjun clicks the up button, and quickly clicking his floor number when he enters. Renjun leans on the elevator’s wall to hold himself up, mind and body too tired to even function properly. But Renjun knows when he returns, his lethargy will be gone, and he either will watch a drama or sleep or study, depending on his mood. Renjun punches in the code quickly when he arrives at the apartment, and puts his shoes on the shoe rack tidily.

“Hey, you’re home,” Jeno greets, and Renjun doesn’t think anything will even prepare him for the sight of Jeno shirtless, with a grey sweatpants hung low, sitting on one of the stools surrounding the bar table, with his books and laptop in front of him.

“Oh my God,” Renjun squeaks, and he puts his hand over his eyes. “Why are you shirtless?”

“Can I not be shirtless?” Jeno asks, amusement tinting his tone, and Renjun feels like crying.

“Well, whatever!” Renjun yelps, and he moves his hand to the side of his face to not look at Jeno, as he tries to walk quickly to his room. “Your choice, you know. I don’t care much.”

“I think you do since you can’t look at me,” Jeno replies, and he gently takes Renjun’s wrist which is the hand that is covering his face right when Renjun tries to walk past him. Renjun’s barricade earlier falls, so he has to look at Jeno in the face, and stop himself from looking down.

“What?” Renjun asks determinedly.

Jeno looks amused, his eyes turning crescents at the disturbed look on Renjun’s features. “Nothing. You’re adorable.”

Renjun scoffs at that, and gently removes his wrist from Jeno’s hold. “No, I’m not!” Renjun quickly walks to his room, and Renjun can hear Jeno’s laughter floating through the space right before he closes his door. Renjun quickly whips out his phone to text his friends. He walks around shirtless, Renjun says in their group chat, and sure enough his friends are replying. Jaemin: Wow, good for you, Injun. Donghyuck: just when I thought he wouldn’t be any straighter. Renjun: how do u know that he’s even straight. Jaemin: he looks straight. Renjun: i don’t think he is. I used a wide range the other day when i asked if he has someone and he was like i hv none of those. Any straight guys would’ve pointed out that i said boyfriend. Jaemin and Donghyuck: :OOOO.

That was that.

Renjun has to deal with a shirtless Jeno on a daily basis now. It’s not like Jeno doesn’t wear a shirt often, but he does it just enough for Renjun to know that he definitely works out. Jeno has an annoyingly toned body, muscles settling in the right places, good amount of biceps, and a growing line of abs on his tummy that shows his hard work at the gym. Renjun sort of feels like a twig whenever he sees Jeno, but it’s not like he has an inferiority complex, or anything. He doesn’t care that Jeno works out, it’s just that he looks too good, Renjun is sort of feeling weird. It’s impossible to deny at this point, and even Donghyuck, who has standards as high as the sky, agreed that Jeno is good looking when Renjun shows Jeno’s pictures on his Instagram right when he followed Jeno on Instagram.

“You’re not gonna be uncomfortable with me shirtless again?” Jeno asks one night when Renjun is in the kitchen cutting up some fruits he bought. Jeno is sitting on the stool again, with his laptop again, and Renjun is pretty sure Jeno finds it more comfortable to study outside rather than in his room.

“I was never uncomfortable to begin with,” Renjun retorts, looking up sharply at Jeno, and Jeno only replies with a boyish grin, his chin resting on his palm supported by his elbow, as he watches Renjun cut the fruits up.

“Are you lying?” Jeno asks, leaning forward, and taking one of the grapes Renjun washed earlier. Renjun was going to offer him some, anyways, so Renjun lets him. Jeno takes another grape.

“No,” Renjun sighs. “Uncomfortable and flustered are two different things, Jeno,” Renjun replies, sighing again as he does.

“You were flustered?” Jeno prods, and Renjun huffs, giving Jeno a pointed look. Renjun slides over the bowl of raspberry he just finished cutting to Jeno.

“No,” Renjun argues, but Jeno raises an eyebrow. “Yeah. Kind of. Mark-hyung and I were always wearing shirts, anyways. Unless we go out from the showers.”

“Showers,” Jeno muses. “I’ve never seen you out of the shower.”

“Are you saying that I don’t shower?” Renjun points out, faking offended.

Jeno barks out a laugh at that. “No. I mean I need to see you out of the shower to be fair now, then.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Renjun says in disbelief, and his ears are feeling a little too hot.

-

It’s midterms. Which means everyone looks even more hellish than usual at the studying they have to do, and some people who leave their studying to the very last minute are either dying or giving up. Renjun has always been a good student, that’s how he got the scholarship, overall. But even if Renjun is a good student, it doesn’t stop him from camping in his room, and studying the materials he has went through, and going through his notes.

Jeno is also studying. Renjun doesn’t know how Jeno’s grades are, but Renjun sees Jeno studying a fair amount of time, so Renjun guesses it means he does have good grades. Jeno looks tired. The usual light and charming aura he has still there, but diminishing as the midterms continues. Jeno enters Renjun’s bedroom, sitting on Renjun’s bed, and he looks at him studying.

“What are you doing?” Renjun asks softly.

“Nothing,” Jeno shrugs. “It’s almost two, Injun.”

“I know,” Renjun sighs. “I only have a little more reading to go. You can go to sleep, you know.”

“You can, too,” Jeno retorts, and Renjun breathes out a laugh at that.

“You’re worried about me?” Renjun teases.

“Kind of. You work so hard,” Jeno says, and Renjun is a little shock at the sincerity tinted in his voice.

“You do too,” Renjun coughs.

“It’s not a competition,” Jeno laughs, and he gets up from Renjun’s bed to go to Renjun’s desk. “Sleep soon. You’ll do well. Good night.”

“Good night,” Renjun echoes, and Jeno exits his room. Renjun goes to sleep right after.

-

There’s a knock on Renjun’s door, and Renjun, in the middle of jotting something down on his notebook, looks up, and hollers. “Come in.”

“Hey,” Jeno greets as he opens the door. It’s almost eleven at night, Renjun notes when he shoots a quick glance at his clock by the bedside. Jeno is leaning against the door, looking at Renjun silently. Renjun doesn’t have the air conditioner on, so he doesn’t bother reprimanding Jeno about closing the door.

“What’s up?” Renjun chooses to ask, tilting his chin up along with the question.

“Have you eaten?” Jeno asks softly.

Renjun is silent for a moment, thinking back. He had an exam that day in the morning, so Renjun didn’t eat breakfast, but he did buy himself a quick lunch for lunch, and took it with him to the apartment. But if Renjun is asking about dinner, then no, Renjun hasn’t eaten. “I ate during lunch.”

“Lunch,” Jeno says in disbelief. Jeno gestures Renjun to follow him, and Renjun does, exiting his room to their kitchen. “You want ramen?”

“They say that ramen can be bad during exam week. The preservatives can make you forget things,” Renjun supplies, but Jeno gives him a pointed look that has Renjun shrugging. “The more you know.”

“They also say that ramen is good when you share,” Jeno supplies, shrugging. “You’re not saying no to this,” Jeno points out, and Renjun shrugs again, slumping against the bar table after sitting on the stool.

“Yeah, I’m kind of hungry,” Renjun says shamelessly. He and Jeno sort of pass this point in being roommates where they hide their feelings to spare the other, anyways. “Are you gonna make it? Do you want me to help?”

“No, just stay there,” Jeno says, taking out two ramen from the top cabinet, and Renjun just watches as Jeno rips open the packaging and starts preparing water. “How are exams going?”

“Okay,” Renjun replies, still watching Jeno. There’s something therapeutic about watching Jeno moves around the kitchen. Taking the pot from the bottom cabinet, and putting it on top of the stove. The water cooks right after, and after Jeno puts both the noodles inside, he pours water inside the pot, and turns on the stove. Jeno turns to Renjun.

“I wonder what’s your standard of okay, really,” Jeno muses, and Renjun sort of feels like hitting Jeno, but can’t muster enough energy to do so.

“You have a high standard when it comes to me, I see,” Renjun jokingly points out, and Jeno wrinkles his nose at that. “I’m joking. How did you do in yours?”

“Mine was,” Jeno begins, and he scrunches his nose again in distaste. “Okay. I guess. Although our standards of okay are very different.”

“You think that way just because of the scholarship,” Renjun points out, and Jeno shrugs at that. “But let’s talk about other things. Rethinking about exams make me feel weird.”

Jeno nods, and he turns towards the stove, slowly stirring the noodles with chopsticks. He then adds two eggs, and stirs them, then adding the condiments right after, and soon enough the ramen is in front of Renjun, and Renjun has a bowl in front of him along with a pair of chopsticks, and they both eat in relative silence.

“Are you from China?” Jeno asks, and Renjun is kind of surprised at how awkward Jeno sounds while asking the question.

“Yeah,” Renjun says, slurping on his noodle. “But my parents and I migrated when I was really young. So we mostly visit China for my grandparents and my relatives during the holidays.” Jeno still looks awkward as he nods in interest, so Renjun asks him. “Are you from China?”

Jeno barks out a laugh at that, head moving back, showing off his prominent jawline as he does. “No, Incheon. You’re ridiculous.”

“You are too,” Renjun points out easily, and Jeno nods, relenting. “How did you know Mark-hyung?”

“We sound like we’re playing 21 questions,” Jeno says, amusement tinting his tone that Renjun detects. “But. I don’t know, really. Chenle is Mark-hyung’s junior in medicine, so I think Chenle introduced me and Jisung to him? Yeah, I think so. Mutual friends and all that.”

“You never come over here before?” Renjun inquires.

“Yeah,” Jeno confirms. “I was down in the lobby once before when Mark-hyung and I had to go somewhere together. And our usual hangout place is at Chenle’s place, really. Kid’s rich.”

“You refer to him as if you’re not just a year older than him,” Renjun points out, amused.

“When they act like that it’s hard to remember their age,” Jeno replies dryly, and pretty much at that point they’re done with their ramen. The both of them just stare at their empty bowl now, with dreading thoughts of having to go back to studying.

“I’ll do the dishes,” Renjun offers, getting up, and Jeno follows after.

“Let me help,” Jeno says, and Renjun lets him just because Renjun knows that Jeno doesn’t want to go back to studying just yet.

“You know, you could sleep if you’re tired,” Renjun advises, and Jeno shrugs.

“You’re right. I’m going to sleep after this. I studied enough, I think,” Jeno replies easily. Jeno then nudges Renjun’s sides with his hips. “You should sleep, too.”

“I’m not tired,” Renjun argues as he puts soap all over the pot they used.

“Your eyebags are telling me different things,” Jeno retorts back, and he softens a little when Renjun doesn’t fight back. “Up to you, Injun.”

“Fine,” Renjun sighs, knocking his own hips against Jeno’s. “I’ll sleep.”

-

If the beginning of semester is something people celebrate, then Renjun should’ve guessed that people will celebrate the end of midterms. But Renjun didn’t necessarily think enough, so when Jeno barges into his room two days after his last exam, when Renjun is on his bed with his laptop on his lap, snacking on cheetos with chopsticks because he doesn’t want his hands to get dirty, Renjun is kind of surprised. A little.

“What’s wrong?” Renjun asks, his eyes still glued on his laptop screen, eyes running over the subs quickly in order to not miss anything. Renjun feels the bed dip, and Jeno settling in next to Renjun, his back on the bed frame like how Renjun’s body is, and Renjun offers him the cheetos silently which he accepts gladly, taking the chopsticks from Renjun’s outstretched hand.

“Go to a party with me,” Jeno says bluntly, and Renjun still can’t be bothered to look at Jeno even when he’s boring holes on Renjun’s cheeks. “Injun, please.”

“Not you too,” Renjun sighs, and he puts the drama on pause, the immense concentration on reading the subtitles earlier fading with how Jeno is pestering him. Renjun puts his laptop aside, and takes his phone from the bedside table. Renjun shoves his phone to Jeno, and Jeno laughs when he reads Donghyuck and Jaemin’s texts saying Renjun should come to the party. “I’m tired, Jeno.”

“Your last exam was two days ago, Injun,” Jeno points out, still eating the cheetos.

“And the sleep I got was still not enough compensation for the sleep I lost during midterms,” Renjun retorts. “Give it up, Jeno.”

“Come on! I’ll even clean the bathroom this week!” Jeno pleads, and he’s pouting a little, making Renjun feel the need to look away or else he’ll cave too soon.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Renjun scoffs, and Renjun makes the move of taking back his laptop before Jeno stops him, draping himself all over Renjun’s outstretched legs. Renjun sighs. “Fine. And clean it next week too, then we have a deal.”

“Yay! Of course!” Jeno complies easily, and he plops his head on Renjun’s thighs.

“Go away,” Renjun scowls, moving his thighs up to disturb Jeno who is now closing his eyes.

“Just a second. It’s comfortable,” Jeno mumbles, and Jeno sort of naps there for around fifteen minutes while Renjun is typing away on his phone.

-

The party is in full swing by the time Renjun arrives with Jeno. Jeno looks good. After his nap, he quickly asks Renjun to get ready, and dashes to his own room to change. Jeno is in a black ripped jeans, ripped too indecently at the thighs part, and somewhere around the knees too. He’s in his white graphic tee, and an army green jacket over the shirt. He looks good, and if Jeno tries hard enough he might even score someone. His friends are somewhere in this house. They were happy when Renjun agreed to come, and when Renjun told them that he’d be going with Jeno, they suggested to meet there. Renjun isn’t even sure if they’ll come across each other just because there are a lot of people. Renjun glances at Jeno.

“You’re gonna go to your friends?” Renjun asks, and Jeno looks at him in surprise.

“Why would I? I came here with you, didn’t I?” Jeno asks, incredulous, and he takes Renjun’s wrist, dragging him to where the alcohol is. Jeno hands Renjun the cup.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go to your friends?” Renjun asks again, making sure because Renjun doesn’t really like it when someone is with him out of obligations.

Jeno barks out a laugh, and suddenly, Renjun is reminded of the first time they met. “Yeah. You’re a great company, you know.”

“Yeah, which is why you decided to move in with me,” Renjun says back jokingly, and Jeno laughs again.

“That’s right,” Jeno says.

“Wait, really?” Renjun asks, surprised. He downs the whole cup, flinching as he does, and Jeno fills in the cup again, and hands it back to Renjun.

“Yes,” Jeno answers, and he playfully knocks his hips against Renjun. “I’m a good judge of character, Injun. I knew you were the one when I saw you.” Renjun’s heart unnecessarily beats faster at that, so Renjun downs his cup again. “Don’t you think you’re going too fast, Injun?”

“I don’t really care,” Renjun shrugs, so Jeno sighs and fills in his cup again. “This reminds me of the first time we met.”

“You’re right,” Jeno says, clicking his tongue in realisation.

“Why did you even approach me that day if you didn’t know me?” Renjun inquires, sipping on his drink, looking at Jeno as he does, eyes blinking innocently. Jeno stares for a second, coughs, and then looking away. The tip of his ears are red, but that may be from the alcohol.

“Because,” Jeno begins, and he shrugs. “You look lonely.”

“No, I wasn’t!” Renjun whines, and he hits Jeno’s chest lightly. “I was just. People watching.”

“You’re not people watching right now,” Jeno retorts, and when he sees Renjun finished with his cup, he fills it in again. “That should really be your last one.”

Renjun ignores him. “Of course I’m not people watching right now. I have you to look at,” Renjun says casually, and Jeno looks at him with an arched eyebrow when Renjun downs the whole thing again. Renjun looks at Jeno, eyes pleading, and bottom lip slightly jutted out. “Please, Jeno.”

“Last one, Injun. I swear,” Jeno huffs, and he fills it in. It’s Renjun’s fifth cup. Which means Renjun is going to start being clingy at this point.

“What kind of drunk are you, Jeno?” Renjun asks as he sips on the alcohol, once again looking at Jeno with his wide, innocent eyes.

“I don’t know. I think I’m the clingy drunk,” Jeno replies.

“You’re clingy even when you’re not drunk,” Renjun giggles. “It’s not a bad thing, either.”

Jeno looks amused. “Are you drunk, Injun?”

Renjun blinks. “I think I am.”

-

“What are you doing out here?” someone suddenly says into the silence, and Renjun who had been doing furious typing in his phone yelps in surprise, startled by the sudden sound. Renjun looks up from his phone in alarm. It’s Jeno. Of course it is.

“Who does that to people at ten at night?!” Renjun whisper-yells, and Jeno looks sheepish now, so Renjun sighs, pocketing his phone and bounding down the stairs. Jeno catches up with him soon enough.

“I asked you what you were doing,” Jeno reminds, as they walk together, an unanimous decision to head towards their apartment.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Renjun asks, he lifts the books in his hands slightly to show Jeno, and Renjun tilts his head back, gesturing to the closed library. “I was studying.”

“You were studying?” Jeno asks in disbelief, and he elbows Renjun’s sides a little. “Midterms are over, sir.”

“I know, sir,” Renjun replies sarcastically. “I have to study ahead.”

“Oh, yeah,” Jeno says in realisation. “You’re a scholarship student, after all.”

“Don’t make it,” Renjun does the hands movements he does when he’s frustrated, and can’t get his points across. “Sound that way.”

“What way?” Jeno laughs, elbowing Renjun again.

“I don’t know,” Renjun shrugs. “Like I’m smart or something.”

“You are smart or something,” Jeno teases, and Renjun has to breathe out a laugh at that. “And you said your midterms were okay, and I saw that you got full mark on one of your papers!”

“So?” Renjun retorts, stealing a glance at Jeno.

“So,” Jeno says, elongating the ‘o’ to get his point across. “You’re smart, Injun. Don’t doubt yourself.”

“What were you doing at the campus, then?” Renjun asks back, stealing  a glance at Jeno. Jeno is looking forward, and when Renjun asks the question, he turns to look at Renjun with a soft smile.

“Had to do something. Then saw you in front of the law library,” Jeno shrugs, and he looks forward once again. “Even the librarians were already gone, Injun.”

“Of course they were,” Renjun retorts. “The library closes at ten, smartass.”

Jeno only snorts in response, and the rest of the walk home is filled with mindless talks about what they did for the day. Renjun had been dreading the walk home; the road seems endless when all Renjun wants to do is sleep, and drown in the comfort of his own bedroom. But somehow, with Jeno, the walk home feels lighter. Somehow.

-

Renjun pokes his head inside of Jeno’s room. Jeno looks up from his bed, and raises his head in question. His body is covered by the blanket properly. “My friends are coming over,” Renjun says.

Jeno lays his head back on his bed, and nods, going back to his laptop that is perched on the side of his bed. “Why are you telling me, though? You said we don’t have to tell each other when our friends come over?”

Renjun approaches Jeno’s bed, and sits at the end of it. Now that Renjun is close, Renjun can see that Jeno isn’t even wearing a shirt. Renjun has to look away. “Because they’re coming over and they’re telling me, for once. So.”

Jeno hums in response, and Renjun stands up. “Sorry if we’re a little loud, too. They’re pretty annoying.”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it,” Jeno replies absentmindedly, and Renjun exits the room. His heartbeat unnecessarily faster than normal.

Jaemin and Donghyuck arrive soon enough, and they ring the doorbell twice because they’re animals, and Renjun rushes to the door just to stop them from clicking the doorbell for the third time. Renjun opens the door, ready to reprimand them, but is surprised when they rush through him without much greeting. They stand in front of Jeno’s room’s door, and Renjun watches near the bar table with furrowed eyebrows. “What are you guys doing?”

“Is he inside?” Jamin asks in a hushed tone, and Renjun gives them a weird look, and nods. “Can we go meet him?”

“What the hell?” Renjun yelps, quickly going to them, and holding Jaemin and Donghyuck’s wrist to drag them away. “Stop disturbing him.”

“We didn’t even meet at the party!” Donghyuck defends, not fighting back as Renjun drags them back to the living room. “You guys left too early! Did you do anything?”

“Why would we do anything?” Renjun asks, scoffing, as he gestures for them to sit on the couch. Renjun sits at the single couch perpendicular to the big couch. “I was drunk too early. So he brought me home.”

“Loser,” Jaemin mutters under his breath, and Renjun throws a cushion at him that Jaemin catches. “I’ll make sure I see him before I leave today. I must. You’ve been roommates for like two months! And we haven’t even seen him at all!”

“You did see him!” Renjun argues.

“That doesn’t count! I barely looked!” Jaemin argues back.

Jaemin doesn’t have to wait long. Because right at that moment, Jeno exits his room. They can hear the door opening, and closing, and Renjun is surprised when Jeno shows up properly dressed (thank God), and looking like he’s going out.

“Hi!” Donghyuck says, getting up from the couch to greet Jeno, and Jeno looks at him, and smiles. “I’m Donghyuck! Renjun’s best friend.”

Renjun rolls his eyes at him, and Jeno who steals a glance at Renjun looks amused at Renjun’s exasperation. Jaemin stands up next, and waves. “Jaemin! Also Injun’s best friend.”

“Nice to meet you, Injun’s best friends,” Jeno says awkwardly, but with an amused smile still plastered on his face. “Jeno. Injun’s roommate.”

“Yeah, we know!” Jaemin says cheerily. “Injun has told us a lot about you!”

“Oh?” Jeno questions, and he steals a glance at Renjun again that Renjun avoids. “He did? Good things I hope?”

“Very good things,” Donghyuck assures. He then assess Jeno, although Renjun knows that Donghyuck is just checking him out. “You’re going out, I see.”

“Uh, yeah. My friends called,” Jeno shrugs, and he walks to the door, and puts on his shoes, sitting on the doorway to properly tie the laces. “I’ll be home late, probably. Don’t wait up, Injun.” Jeno then exits after a small wave at his friends, and another wave to Renjun with a gentle smile.

“Don’t wait up, Injun,” Donghyuck mocks, cupping his hand on Jaemin’s chin to imitate Jeno.

“He didn’t even do that!” Renjun screeches, and he throws another pillow at both of them that elicits giggles and laughters from them. “Shut up, please.”

“He’s handsome,” Donghyuck says after he calms down from his little laughing spree.

“Can only imagine how he looks under those clothes,” Jaemin says indecently, and Donghyuck hums, agreeing. He and Donghyuck then shares a look, mischievous smile on Jaemin’s face that Donghyuck immediately catches. “Injun doesn’t have to imagine, though! He has seen all of it!”

Renjun throws himself on top of them.

-

When Renjun punches in the code of his apartment, the first thing he hears is arguing.

“That’s my drink, Jisung. If you had followed us to the convenience store, then maybe you would’ve gotten the chance to pick your own drink, stupid!”

“Well, you didn’t even tell me you and Mark-hyung were going,” another one argues.

Jeno spots him from the kitchen, and waves. Renjun waves back, and Jeno gestures to the living room where his friends are, and Renjun nods. Jeno approaches him, leans in, and says softly. “I did text you, but you didn’t read the text, it seems.”

“Yeah,” Renjun grimaces. “My phone ran out of battery. Forgot my power bank.”

“Injuuun,” Mark hollers when he turns around from the little argument to see Renjun and Jeno talking. “Long time no see!”

“Hi, hyung,” Renjun greets, and he pats Mark’s arm softly when he passes him.

Mark then calls out his other friends, and the bickering two looks at Renjun in surprise, as if not noticing Renjun entering. They probably didn’t. Since they were too immersed in their bickering. “This is Renjun. Jeno’s roommate,” Mark says, but then he winks at Renjun. “He used to be mine first, though.”

“You sound ridiculous,” Renjun replies, and Mark barks out a laugh at that.

“It’s so weird to be here as a guest and not as your roommate,” Mark muses.

“Get used to it,” Jeno retorts, and his two bickering friends earlier snort. Jeno refers to his friends, and points to the taller one between the two. “This is Jisung.” Then, to the shorter one. “Chenle.”

Renjun nods. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Do you want to join us?” Jisung asks, and when Renjun looks at Jeno, Jeno shrugs. “We’re just playing PS4 really.”

“I suck at video games,” Renjun says, and when Chenle pouts at him a little, Renjun says again. “But I’ll watch, I guess.”

Renjun quickly puts his bag in his room, and charges his phone, and then finally goes out to the living room.

“You know,” Jisung says when Renjun sits down on the couch next to him. It’s Mark and Chenle with the controllers now, so Jisung sits next to him, while Jeno sits on the floor near Renjun’s foot. “Jeno-hyung always talks about you.”

Renjun nudges Jeno’s butt with his foot. “Good things, I hope?”

“Very good things,” Chenle from the front hollers, and Renjun is hit with a sudden sense of dejavu. This conversation is too eerily familiar. “Your face. Your--” Jeno hits Chenle with a pillow.

Renjun can see that Jeno’s ears have turned red, and this time, Renjun can’t exactly blame the alcohol. “Shut up, Chenle.”

“Okay,” Chenle pouts, but then he nudges Mark without taking his eyes off the screen of the TV. “But am I wrong, Mark-hyung?”

“He’s not wrong, Injun,” Mark supports, and Chenle shrugs smugly. “I told you you’re a good roommate, Injun.” The way Mark says it implies something else, and Renjun’s tummy sort of feels weird.

“Don’t listen to them,” Jeno pleads, and when all his friends laugh, they finally seem to relent, going back to focus on the game. Renjun then leans forward, and his lips are sort of near Jeno’s ear.

“You really talk a lot about me, Jeno?” Renjun asks, and Renjun can see Jeno swallowing a little before looking at Renjun. They’re too close, but Renjun doesn’t exactly want to move.

“I can ask the same thing to you,” Jeno whispers, and Renjun leans back a little to cough. He leans forward again.

“You’re right. And if you were to ask, the answer is a yes,” Renjun says, shrugging, and he leans back on the couch, and Renjun can see Jeno freezing a little at the little revelation. Renjun only focuses on the game.

-

Renjun can usually sleep at night. Renjun knows what he has to do in order to sleep. Those things include either jacking off, but another alternative is staring at a spot in his room for fifteen minutes, then he will sleep. But when that doesn’t work in his favour, Renjun thinks. When Renjun thinks, it’s always about him. Him. Guanlin. Renjun thinks about Guanlin when the night is closing upon him, blanketing him like a comfort, and sometimes Renjun thinks so much his head hurts, and he can’t sleep. It’s been kind of long since Renjun has ever thought of him. But tonight, though, instead of him, Renjun thinks of Jeno.

Renjun thinks of Jeno, and the way he smiles. The way his eyes crinkle slightly when he laughs at something Renjun says. Renjun thinks of the way Jeno laughs even when Renjun didn’t say anything remotely funny, and Renjun thinks of the way Jeno’s hands are on his shoulders when he dragged Renjun home the day he got drunk at that party. Renjun thinks of his hands on Renjun’s waist, steadying him, and the puff of laugh on Renjun’s ear when Renjun said something stupid while Jeno was carrying him. Renjun thinks of the warmth of his hand on Renjun’s back, and Renjun thinks of Jeno’s sleepy face when he studies on their bar table. Renjun thinks of the way he pokes his head inside of Renjun’s room and asks if Renjun has eaten, and Renjun thinks of the way his body looks without a shirt on, and when he walks around the apartment freely, and Renjun has to try to not look. Renjun thinks of the way Jeno smiles, and how many persons had he shown that smile to.

Renjun thinks, and eventually, he sleeps.

-

Renjun should’ve known that when you avoid something for so long, they always come crashing back at you at some point. This is the case with Guanlin. Renjun is walking back to the apartment with Jeno by his side, mindless talks about their day, and Jeno is just about to tell him about this theory he learned in class today when a voice breaks them out of their comfortable trance.

“Hi, Renjun,” Guanlin says to him, and Renjun looks at him in surprise. He still sounds like he did before. But Renjun can’t conjure up any words to describe his voice anymore.

“Um, hi,” Renjun says back, and Renjun can feel Jeno next to him tensing too.

Guanlin gestures to Jeno. “Your friend?”

“Uh, yeah,” Renjun replies awkwardly, feeling so out of place that he just wants to go. Things weren’t like this before the breakup. Of course they weren’t. But it’s the present now, and things are unfortunately like this. “Lee Jeno.”

Guanlin shoots Jeno a smile that Jeno returns icily. “Guanlin. Have you been well, Renjun?”

Renjun feels kind of awkward, to be the one who has to answer the questions, so Renjun fakes like they’re rushing towards somewhere, gripping Jeno’s arm. “Yeah. Well. Fine. You?”

“Good,” Guanlin replies, and he looks at Renjun’s hand gripping Jeno’s arm, and smiles again. “See you around, then.”

Renjun gives him another smile, and they part ways. After a few moments of silence, Jeno speaks up. “How did you two break up?”

“You knew we were together?” Renjun asks back, just because.

“Yeah. Guanlin is pretty famous,” Jeno says, shrugging, and Renjun nods.

“You’re right,” Renjun sighs. “He lost interest. It’s okay. Bound to happen.”

“You don’t sound okay,” Jeno points out.

“Maybe I wasn’t,” Renjun points out too. “But I am now.”

“He could’ve made efforts to not lose interest,” Jeno says quietly.

“You’re right,” Renjun replies. “But he didn’t want to anymore, so it’s okay. People can’t force their feelings sometimes.”

“You’re right,” Jeno echoes. “Do you still like him?”

Renjun exhales a little, and Jeno steals a glance at him. “Nope.” Renjun has been asked many variations of the same question ever since they broke up, but this is the first time someone asked, and Renjun is sincere with his answer. Renjun glances at Jeno, and elbows him a little. “Do you think I’m lying?”

“I think you know yourself a lot more than you think, Injun,” Jeno simply says, and Jeno reverts back to the theory he was about to tell Jeno before Guanlin showed up.

-

three stooges (3)

injun: i think i like someone

hyuck: is this even a surprise at this point?

jaemin: right? lol

injun: fuck all of u!!!

-

Renjun doesn’t know why, but there’s something about watching Haikyuu!! at their training arc that makes Renjun feel this sudden burn of motivation in his chest. Renjun and Jeno are eating dinner together, at their little coffee table, so they’re on the floor as they eat the jjajangmyeon they ordered. Jeno has all of Haikyuu!! episodes downloaded, so he offers to set the TV up so that they’ll be watching comfortably. So Renjun agrees.

Jeno makes a comment about how handsome Akaashi is, so Renjun has to nod, agreeing. There’s something about Haikyuu!!, there’s something about how intimate this is, and how Renjun’s knee is against Jeno’s own comfortably. There’s something about it that makes Renjun blurt it out. “Do you like anyone, Jeno?”

Jeno pauses eating, and places his bowl on the coffee table. He steals a glance at Jeno before returning to the TV. “Yes.”

“Are they pretty?” Renjun asks casually, and Jeno laughs, looking at him.

“Very,” Jeno replies.

“Lucky,” Renjun says.

“You’re lucky, then,” Jeno mutters under his breath, and Renjun narrows his eyes at him. Jeno is looking down awkwardly right after he said the words, his ears are tinted pink.

“What do you mean by that?” Renjun asks softly.

“I think you know exactly what I mean, Injun,” Jeno huffs, and Renjun laughs at that because he does. “You’re smart after all.”

“Don’t say it like that,” Renjun says out of reflex.

“Like what?” Jeno entertains.

“Like I’m smart or something,” Renjun exhales, breathing out a laugh right after. “I like you a lot, Jeno.”

Jeno stays silent for a moment, then he musters up enough courage to look at Renjun. “How do I know that I’m not a rebound or something?”

Renjun scoffs. “I think I know my own feelings more than you do, Jeno.”

“I said that, didn’t I?” Jeno grimaces, and when Renjun doesn’t bother acknowledging him with a reply, he continues. “I like you too, Injun.”

Renjun takes it as a cue to climb onto Jeno’s lap and kiss him breathless.

-

“It’s your turn to clean the bathroom, Jeno!” Renjun exclaims, frustration marred in his tone that Jeno detects.

“We should clean it together, Injun! We shower together!” Jeno argues, and Renjun sighs, throwing a cushion at Jeno.

“You’re so indecent! Who says those things out loud?” Renjun scoffs, his cheeks feeling warm at Jeno’s words even though it’s only both of them in their apartment. “And I don’t care. Dating or not, the rules stay the damn same.”

“But--”

“I don’t repeat my words, Lee Jeno!” Renjun barks back, going to the kitchen, and opening the refrigerator to look for food. Renjun is just about to settle for more cereal when Jeno snakes his arms behind Renjun. “Get away. You’re not getting away with cleaning the bathroom even when you do this.”

Jeno stays there, and Renjun moves towards the living room, and Jeno follows, his chin tucked on Renjun’s shoulders, so they move in this awkward limbo of limbs. “I love you,” Jeno whispers, and right as Renjun is about to turn towards Jeno to look at him, Jeno dashes to the bathroom.

“You’re stupid!” Renjun hollers at him, and Jeno peeks his head out of the bathroom.

“But you love me!”

“Unfortunately!” Renjun says back, and Jeno barks out a laugh at that before returning to the bathroom to start cleaning. They’re so ridiculous. They’re so stupid and ridiculous, but the only thing that counts is how much they love each other. Unfortunately.