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Steve hasn't dreamt of the ice for a long while.
The fall, the crash, the water closing in on him are still familiar companions, unwanted images that sometimes flash in front of his inner eye, when his mind wanders too much. That happens only when he is awake though. After the first couple of months, the nightmares let him be, and he is grateful for that.
Tonight things seem to be different.
He opens his eyes, inhaling sharply, but the sensation the cold embracing his body doesn't leave him and he feels like he's under the ice again. Only, this time he's conscious.
It lasts only a moment. He can see the ceiling in the semi-darkness of the room, glancing around he can make out the outlines of furniture and the lines of the door. He is laying on his bed, in his room.
There is no ice keeping him prisoner, but there is something very cold pressing against the side of his body. A blow of freezing air ghosts over his ear, and Steve twitches. He cranes his head to look down, half-expecting to actually see a block of ice encasing him.
He sees Loki instead, laying next to him, his chin tucked over Steve's shoulder, and an arm resting on Steve's chest. A very blue arm. That feels achingly cold against Steve's skin.
The man reaches to turn on the nightstand light, then he pulls down the sheet and sees that all of Loki's body has turned Jotunn. No wonder he was dreaming of being frozen again. The change must have happened mere moments earlier, Steve's skin has yet to go numb, but it's getting there.
This has never happened before, he has only seen Loki change consciously... Steve frowns. Loki is a light-sleeper, usually Steve has but to shift to wake the god up, and he is sensitive even to the small changes in the energy patterns in the air around him. Now he seems to be sound asleep, his breath heavy, eyes making small movements behind his eyelids as he is chasing something in his dreams.
Ok, time to worry.
Steve places his hand on Loki's shoulder and shakes him, not bothering to be too gentle. “Loki?” he calls, then he calls again, raising his voice.
He has to sit up and pull Loki up with him, rattling him hard by both shoulders, before he sees his eyes open to reveal blood-red slits.
“Loki, wake up!” He repeats.
“...what...” Loki blinks a couple of time, groggily. He leans on Steve, palms flat on the man's broad chest. He blinks again, and his gaze gains lucidity. Steve feels a surge of relief. Loki looks at him, bemused, then he glances down and he sees the color on his own hands, the thin lines marking his skin. He straightens his back and pulls away from Steve, now completely alert. Steve catches the flash of confusion, of concern, into his eyes, before he wills his expression into impassibility.
“What's wrong?” Steve starts to ask, but Loki raises his hand to hush him. His eyes are slightly unfocused again, and Steve knows he's doing something magic.
The man gets to his feet and retrieves his pant from the chair next to the bed, pulling them on quickly. The chances of Captain America finding himself in the middle of an enemy attack while in a state of undress have risen dramatically in the past few months, since the “thing” started, and Tony is having a lot of fun pointing that out.
This is drawback to dating Loki number eleven. Steve has been making a list.
As he's about to fetch his shield as well he hears Loki sighing.
“Hold your horses, Captain, nothing is threatening us.” Loki says. Steve raises an eyebrow.
“What's happened?”
“An unfortunate occurrence, albeit one I should have foreseen. I regret not informing you of the chance it might happen,” Loki says, smirking just a little. “Must have been quite the shock.”
“You weren't waking up. Got me worried for a moment.” Steve come closer to the bed and sits down next to Loki again. “I thought someone was messing with you. You know, magically.”
Loki gives a small laugh. “This is not the case.” He notices Steve watching him closely. “What?”
“Are you ok?”
“Yes, I told you.” A hint of irritation edges into Loki's tone.
“Won't you change back?” Steve knows Loki... doesn't exactly hate his Jotunn form, but much prefers not to be seen like that. He only lets it surface when he needs to do some magic specifically tapping into that kind of power, and pushes it away again as soon as he can. Now it's weird he hasn't done it yet. Loki's a little too prolonged silence lets Steve know all he needs.
“So there is something wrong.”
“Not quite.” Loki sighs again. When he speaks, his tone his exaggeratedly bored. “I have been experimenting, lately. I'm researching more Jotunn magic, things that could be useful. It means I must get more in contact with the... how would you say it in Midgard? Little Jotunn child that is in me?” Steve stares. “Never mind. Anyway, it means also I'm more responsive to that part of me. Some things might bring it forward. Dreams, for example. When a sorcerer dreams of magic...” he shrugs.
“This sounds like anything but reassuring.”
“Don't worry, dream-induced magic always turns towards the inside, it only affects the one who dreams. You and the others who live here are safe.”
“I didn't mean it that way.”
The god looks amused. “I know. But rest assured, my dear Captain. This is nothing to fret about.” He keeps his eyes away from Steve's.
Loki is a way better liar than that.
Steve groans mentally. Waits, to see if the Trickster might change his mind and tell him what's exactly going on. Loki turns to glance at him and grins.
It would be a huge stretch to say Steve trusts Loki completely. He wishes he could, he honestly does. He believes he will, eventually. And now... at least Loki trusts him enough to let him know when he can't trusted. Like right now.
It's frustrating, of course. Steve feels like a tightrope walker, navigating conversations and silences like that. It's what you get being with Loki. It's Loki.
Drawback to dating Loki number five.
So something is up with this shifting to Jotunn form, but Loki doesn't feel like sharing. Steve knows it's not something that would threat others, that's the one concession Loki makes, that he won't let danger come upon those Captain America has sworn to protect if he can help it. But that doesn't mean it won't be a threat to Loki himself.
It's something personal, Steve decides. And Loki wants to figure it out by himself. And since magic is involved, the chances Steve can help him somehow are slim at best.
“Ok,” he says at last. Lets those other words will you let me know if you need help go unsaid. He knows Loki knows.
Loki's smile softens just a fraction. His face as a Jotunn had seemed a mask, the first time Steve saw it, but he has been learning to watch closely, to catch the small cues. “Very well.” Loki says as he rises to his feet.
Steve blinks. “Where are you going?”
“I have yet to find a way to push back this appearance when it comes forward uninvited. I'll simply have to wait, so I'll leave you to have your rest in peace.”
“Why? You can still sleep here with me.”
Loki presses a finger on the side of Steve's neck, making him flinch. “I believe I would be quite a cool bed mate, Captain.”
“Just...” Steve stands up again. He picks up the blanket they pushed to the bottom of the bed. Smiling, he wraps it around Loki and pulls him close. “What about this?”
Loki considers, then he shrugs. “If it pleases you so much...”
“It does.”
The god rolls up his red eyes, as he is having to give in some childish whim, but as Steve turns to lay down again he catches him smiling briefly, out the corner of his eye, and he has to suppress a chuckle.
They lie on their sides, facing each other. Steve's arms sneak around the blanket cocoon to hold Loki, snuggling closer, and he leans in to place a small kiss on his freezing lips, and then another. Loki keeps his eyes closed, the corners of his mouth turning slightly upwards, as Steve peppers soft kiss after kiss until he can feel his own lips starting to lose feeling, then he is content to just lie, their mouths close enough their breath mingles, hot and cold and sweet. Steve closes his eyes as well.
A few minutes later, Loki sneaks an ice cold feet between Steve's legs, pressing it to his calf. The man startles out of his dozing off with a gasp. He hears Loki chuckling, and he glares.
Drawback to dating Loki number...