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Oh, Haron was going to be the death of her.
No matter how many times she explained, told, asked, begged him that it was important that he let his makeup set, that he take good care of his costume, that he not fuss with his hair before going on, he always wound up backstage. Always feigning ignorance. He was all easy smiles and ‘madralee’s as Cerelia got to work fixing whatever he’d just fumbled and she would always laugh and smile back. She couldn’t help it; she was smitten.
She wasn’t certain when it started – when his flirtations stopped making her laugh and started making her blush – but it was during one rehearsal that she got hit hard with the realization that she liked him. He was talented and smart, confident but good-natured, joking and complimenting and appreciating. And beautiful. So stupidly beautiful and it was frustrating to see him perform with all the other stupidly beautiful people because all it did was reinforce the fact that she had a snowball’s chance in hell of him feeling the same way.
But this time, he’d torn one of his shirts during a quick change. It wasn’t the first time and wouldn’t be the last, if past behaviour was anything to go by. Her own pleading aside, not even the boss could make Haron change if he didn’t want to. Frankly, he was lucky he had the benefit of talent and a good legacy of talent – he’d probably be on thin ice otherwise. Any other person would have given Haron the damn costume and told him to fix it himself, but it was her job to make sure everything was perfect.
Which was why she was in the costume room almost an hour after everyone else had cleared out, just finally packing her things. She’d heard something about going to a bar after work… but she hadn’t heard which one. Sighing, she left the room, turning off the lights and locking the door on her way out. Maybe she would get a pizza – or that was what she was thinking until she turned the corner and saw Haron leaning against the wall, headphones in his ears.
Noticing her, he tilted his head with a smile, taking out his headphones and tucking them into his pocket. “There you are, madralee. I was starting to think I’d have to go in there and rescue you.”
She laughed, more out of nerves than anything else. “The sewing machine almost got me pinned, but I manage to slip away.”
Laughing, he stepped away from the wall to join her on their way out. “Sounds like a valiant fight. I wish I could have been there to help.”
“Hoping on being my knight in shining armor?”
Cerelia almost froze the moment the question left her lips; it wasn’t much out of place in their banter but it still felt wrong, like it was the last hint he needed to puzzle it out.
Haron laughed, at least, and she bit back her sigh of relief. All she had to do was not make a fool of herself until they got to the doors. But then Haron gave her a grin and replied, “Always, madralee,” and her heart twisted in a thousand different ways.
“So, that’s why I’m here,” Haron continued, ever so upbeat. “Skylar wasn’t sure if you knew where we were meeting, so I thought I’d stay behind and wait, being your knightly escort and all.”
She’d already opened her mouth to respond when Haron held up a finger. “Don’t say it. I know I didn’t have to, but I wanted to. You were staying late because of me, after all.” He gave her a wink that did nothing to soothe the fact that the rush of happiness she just felt suddenly crashed. If he’d stopped talking one sentence earlier…
“No, I stayed late because I didn’t want to come in early tomorrow.”
“It’s the same, madralee. Either way, I’d like to make it up to you.”
By now they’d reached the main exit, but neither of them made to open the doors. Cerelia knew that if she didn’t say something, Haron would just go on, and her already-weakening resolve would whittle away into nothing.
“There’s nothing to make up for, Haron. This is my job.” She tried to say it gently, but she couldn’t help the bitter taste the words left in her mouth. For once he seemed at a loss – and she kept talking to fill the silence.
“I’m sorry you had to wait for me when you could have been enjoying yourself with the others, and I hope – I hope I didn’t say anything that implied I was needing anything in return – “ God, she prayed she didn’t, that would have been mortifying, “ – but, you know, I don’t really need or expect anything of you, so you can – you can go. Go have fun.”
Having just managed to spout the least coherent mess of words she’d ever said in her life, Cerelia fell quiet and focused on a spot on the floor. Though she’d been talking to convince him, it felt more like she was trying to convince herself… and it worked. He owed her nothing, truly, and at any minute he could turn around and go out the door and go hang out with other gorgeous, wonderful people. That was the problem, she supposed, when most of their relationship consisted of her doing things for him. It was just her job. He wasn’t around her because he wanted to be.
And he wasn’t saying a god damn word.
The shock of that realization made her look back up at him. Haron was standing there, arms crossed, looking her over with an expression she’d never seen before – an honest to goodness genuine frown – with a furrow in his brow like he was trying to puzzle something out.
“Do you not enjoy spending time with me?”
Cerelia nearly bit her tongue to stop her immediate I love spending time with you. Tone it back, play it cool. “No, I like hanging out with you.”
“Then what’s the problem?” He was pushing at her and he knew it, judging from the cheeky grin on his face. The excuse was half-way formed when she looked at him, really looked at him, and then her resolve shattered.
“I don’t want to fall any more in love with you than I already am.” The words flowed easily, as the truth always did when he was around. Her gaze was cast downwards, hoping to avoid having to see the rejection on his face. One of her hands went to fiddle at the hem of her jacket when Haron reached out and grasped it, the warmth of his touch sending a current down her spine. She was still processing that when his other hand landed on her hip. In shock, she glanced back up, and found that he was still grinning – only now there was a heat in his eyes that hadn’t been there before.
“And if I wanted you to fall more in love with me?” The hand on her hip danced up her side and then went to cup her face. But the way he grazed his thumb over her cheek was gentle, reverent, and she almost closed her eyes in expectation of something when he laughed and added, “Well?”
“Only if you’d be willing to love –“ me back, she wanted to say, but he didn’t give her time to say the rest, instead crashing his lips onto hers. It wasn’t the most amazing kiss – in his excitement he knocked his teeth into hers – but when they pulled apart she couldn’t stop herself from smiling.
“Oh, madralee,” Haron laughed, pressing his forehead against hers. “If I knew that was all you needed I would have done this months ago.”
The curious part of her wanted to know how many – and the cheeky part agreed, wanting to tease him. And she almost did, until the familiar chime of her phone rang out from her purse. It jolted her back into the real world, one where Haron was still beaming at her, but where she was bone-tired and mentally exhausted, despite her sudden joy.
A pout came over Haron’s face as she pulled away, the only point of contact remaining being their entwined hands. “Plans?”
“Mm-hm,” she hummed, laughing lightly as his pout deepened. “To go home, order a pizza, and sleep. Absolutely wild, I know.”
Haron flushed a little and smiled. “Then rest well, madralee. I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”
“I’ll do you one better – I’ll call you when I get home.”
“Ah – I was going to meet up with the others after this.” Her disappointment must have shown on her face, because Haron leaned in and gave her another kiss, this one brief. “I’ll call you when I get in.”
That decided, Cerelia allowed herself a few more kisses before making her way home. She smiled the whole way, basking in her joy. When she closed her eyes she could still see Haron beaming down at her, and it made her feel beautiful.
Now with fanart from Yamil on the EL Discord <3
