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She barely knew Allison, they’d been close to friends she thinks, allies, but it’s not the same. She knows from the way everyone is so distraught that Allison must have been a wonderful person, someone she wishes she could have gotten to know, someone she wishes could have been a friend. She wants to say something to make it better, but there are no words for this, she wants to tell Scott that Allison died a hero, but she doesn't think it would help, doesn’t think it will mean the same to him. She wants to fit the pieces back together, make everyone whole again like she did with her mother's sword, but she can't fix this no matter how hard she tries.
She doesn't know how she fits in the group anymore, she lost an almost friend, and it’s sad but it’s a dull feeling, she’s sad for the others, sad because someone she knew died, but it’s nothing more than that and it makes her feel worse. She tries to give them space, let them mourn, but the more she’s apart from them the more the space between them grows.
She catches Scott ringing Allison's phone to hear her voice, it hurts, but she understands, she knows Scott will always love Allison that Allison will always be there. She wants it not to matter, wants to be sympathetic, but she doesn't think she can live with Allison’s ghost. They don’t break up so much as drift so far apart it seems like they were nothing but friends all along. It hurts but she wants Scott to be happy and letting him go is the only way she can think of to make that happen. They can start over, be friends, and she can be there for Scott without their relationship weighing down her words, without them feeling fake or forced.
It's easier to be around them without the guilt she feels about her relationship with Scott. It's easier to offer comfort without feeling like she is replacing the irreplaceable.
She can be friends with Scott, with them all; she never wanted a boyfriend anyway.