Chapter Text
It wasn’t the loneliness that kept her up at night. Her father and sisters made repeated trips from Atlanta, ostensibly to lobby for pro-life measures, but really to check up on her, her sorority sisters, many of whom lived in the D.C. area, met for brunch every Wednesday, and the choir rehearsed twice a week and sang on Sundays. Finally, she had a dog to keep her company while Eric was deployed. Ariel DelaMar never wanted for company.
What she did lack, and what did keep her up at night was purpose. Her husband was on a ship somewhere, leading people, making decisions, keeping America safe. Meanwhile, she was sitting with Aurora in a café in the whitest neighborhood in D.C., talking about whether or not to indulge in a cream cheese bagel; could they afford the extra starch if they ran for an extra twenty minutes at the gym tomorrow? Not that bagels were bad, she rushed to tell her sorority sisters, just that her life felt empty.
“You just have too much time on your hands,” Mulan said. Mulan had her own gym, and a host of contracts teaching federal agents and special forces hand to hand combat. Mulan had served in the Army. Mulan was tough and knew what she wanted in life. Mulan had a purpose. “Come by the gym tomorrow. I’ll give you a free week of training.”
“I already work out.”
“Yeah, but you’re in a slump. Try something new and get yourself out of it. Worst that’ll happen is you’re a little sore.”
“Thanks, but I don’t think that’s it. I need to do something with meaning.”
“The food kitchen always needs a hand,” Snow White said. She worked for the Department of Housing and Urban Development, and often said that the message and mission driving the department was better than the actual job. Long hours, low pay, and hearing Fox News screaming about big government when she barely had enough in her budget to fund anything had taken the smile that had persisted through college exams, boyfriends, and enough lesbian experience to fill a porno mag off of Snow’s face. “And we’ve just announced the grantees of the Juvenile Minority Housing Project. You could volunteer for one of the non-profits.”
“That’s a…”
“Wait,” Elsa interrupted, sitting up straight and leaning over the café table. “You already announced the grant winners? That wasn’t supposed to happen until next week!”
“The Secretary decided we needed some good publicity after last week’s fraud scandal. The e-mails went out,” Snow checked her watch. Everyone else in the world might’ve moved on to cellphones, but not her. She was a classic. Ariel had never seen her without her watch. “Three minutes ago.”
Elsa pulled her cellphone out of her handbag and clicked her way to the e-mail icon. The rest of the table exchanged amused glances. Ariel smiled to herself. Volunteering was a good idea. Elsa certainly enjoyed working at a non-profit and she never seemed at a loss for purpose. Then again, the Rainbow Residence was personal for Elsa in a way it could never be for Ariel. Maybe that was it; maybe she just had to find a cause that was personal.
“Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees!” Elsa pumped her fist in her air, knocking Mulan’s iced coffee over. The freezing beverage stained her ice-blue skirt suit but she was too busy dancing in her seat to care. “Awww, yeah. Guess who just got a hundred grand in programmatic funding? This lady!”
“Elsa, your skirt!”
“Ah, the cold never bothered me anyway. Here, I’ll buy you another drink, you fabulous lady you!” She threw a twenties on the table and stood up, brushing the remaining drops of coffee onto the pavement. “I gotta go break the news to the interns. Ariel, find your purpose. It feels great!”
Ariel gave her a thumbs up and smiled. From shy, closeted little girl to bold as brass lesbian, Elsa had certainly changed since college. She had, in her own words, let go of all the anger and fear, and was now living her dream in Washington D.C. It was a huge improvement.
Ariel was just a teensy bit jealous.
That night she called Eric over Skype and they spent an hour soaking each other in. The ship was somewhere near the Horn of Africa, a fact that twisted her stomach and made her feel like she just drank a gallon of seawater. The news reports were never good for that part of the world, and in the last month or so they had been getting steadily worse. She was afraid to turn on her television, afraid to click on the MSN homepage, afraid not to pray to God because tomorrow a man in a uniform might come and give her the news that every military wife prayed she would never hear.
Worse, she knew Eric had similar nightmares. That he not might make it home. That he didn’t save enough for her to live comfortably. That the federal government would shut down again, leaving her destitute. Mulan had told her what went on in the minds of minds of military men. They’d brag about women to hide how nervous they were, how homesick, how afraid. She had to keep a smile on her face to keep one on his.
“I was thinking of volunteering,” she said, after she had told him the family news about his step-father and her sisters and there was a natural lull in the conversation.
“That’s great!” He sounded so close, as if he was in the room beside her instead of a million miles away. “Where at?”
“That’s what I’m not sure of.” God, but she wanted to touch him. Not even sexually; she just wanted to stroke his hair, pet his face, feel his breath on her neck. They had met during her teenage rebellion phase, when everything was about smoking pot, dressing like an emo, and ticking off her father. Age had mellowed her a little, but she repeatedly thanked God that He had turned what would have been the first of many one-night-stands into true love. Eric brought out her wisdom and kindness. Before him, she had been afraid to show it.
“Snow suggested the local food kitchen. Elsa texted me saying she’s got an opening at the Rainbow Residence.”
“Careful. She doesn’t have enough redheads.”
They laughed. Elsa might swear that the redheads came to her, but everyone swore she tempted them with popcorn. Given that she had not one, but two redheads working for her at the moment, the joke had been expanded to include her supposed fetish. Nobody ever accused Ariel’s sorority sisters, or their husbands, of being politically correct.
“Seriously, that’s a great idea. You’re good with kids.”
“I am good with kids,” Ariel said, because false modesty was the refuge of those fishing for compliments. “But what would I do with them?”
“The Rainbow Residence takes in gay kids, right?” Nope, no political correctness there. “These kids probably haven’t been in school for a while, or they have been in school but they’re distracted. They probably don’t have that many adults looking out for them. You could tutor, Ms. Biology.”
“It’s Ms. Marine Biology to you, Captain Eric Prince.” As ideas went, she rather liked it. Moving and constant deployments made it difficult for her to hold down a steady job. Tutoring was personal. Tutoring kids in Marine Biology, or even in the general sciences, was something she could see herself loving.
He grinned, and yawned. “You gonna tutor me when I get home, Ms. Marine Biology?”
“I sure am,” she purred. She had no idea how late it was halfway around the world, but she was willing to bet it past his bedtime. “Gonna teach the squid a lot.” She let the last word pop out of her mouth, promising him what they both missed and what she would give him when he came home. Something to keep him warm at night. “Better get a schoolboy outfit.”
“Ohhh. I like. But how ‘bout camo? We can reenact the ‘sailor comes home to his hot, volunteer miracle worker wife’ scene.”
“I like that scene. It’s a good scene.”
He yawned again. A sign that their time together was almost over. He had work, she had to find something meaningful. But even the pixels and lag time were better than an empty screen and a lonely apartment. She knew he had to sleep, but still delayed letting him go. It was selfish of her, but she didn’t care. She spent the better part of her year in a cold bed, the Navy could spare him for a few more moments.
“Only a few more weeks,” he said. “Just a few more and I’ll wear whatever you want. We’ll kiss, and touch every part of each other’s bodies, and I’ll let you spank me and pull my hair, and I’ll take you out for sushi, and we’ll doing nothing for a while. Just hang in for a few more weeks.” He smiled and she could see the bags under his eyes.
“Just a few more weeks,” she agreed. “We’ll walk in the sun, where people walk and run, and we’ll watch them go by. I’ll buy you welcome home presents. All the gadgets and gizmos you want.” He was a tech junkie. Her man loved going into an apple store and playing with the toys there. She loved watching him geek out.
When he yawned again, she kissed him goodnight through the screen.
The next day she called Elsa and offered the kids at the Rainbow Residence.