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Rose shimmied through the Tardis door and up the ramp trying not to make a mess. “Sorry!” She called out anxiously. The blue box moaned back what one could only assume was a frustrated sigh. “Don’t be mad. It’s all his fault, ya know!” She continued.
“What?!” The Doctor retorted incredulously as he strode in behind her, perfectly pristine in his brown pinstripe suit. She shot back a look of annoyance that would’ve made Jackie Tyler herself beam with pride. “You could’ve told me about the rules,” she spoke each word venomously through gritted teeth. “And miss the chance to see you thrown in a mud pit? I don’t think so.” The Doctor giggled. Rose’s dirty looks (on top of her dirty appearance) only made The Doctor laugh more. Pretty soon, he was on the Tardis floor holding his belly and laughing so hard that he wasn’t even making a sound. Rose huffed and shimmied toward her room, which only made The Doctor wheeze.
The Tardis groaned at him. “Oi, she’s alright! Just a misunderstanding on Luto Delta,” he babbled as he took of his jacket and threw it in his room, “Did you know that if you greet the emperor without first humming the sacred 3 note tune of the Lutonese people that you’ll be thrown in a pit of mud? Fascinating rituals, really!” The Tardis grinded out a piercing sound. Without a doubt, it meant that she did, in fact, know the rituals of the Lutonese, and that she still didn’t think it was nice of him.
Meanwhile, Rose tiptoed into her room and adjoining bathroom - still trying not to make a mess and failing miserably. A washing machine that wasn’t there before had appeared in her bathroom. She patted one of the round things on the Tardis wall. “Thanks, Love.” She stripped down and hopped in the shower. After scrubbing for what seemed like an eternity (especially when it came to her hair), she stepped out and dried off. She cleaned up the rest of the mud with her towel and threw everything in the washer. It was only after she pressed start that she realized the Tardis had changed her layout. Her bathroom now led to the Doctor’s room, and she was completely nude.
“Whyyyyyyy?” Rose questioned the blue box rhetorically. On The Doctor’s bed, lay his brown pinstripe jacket. She could see it from the bathroom. Her eyes flashed from side to side, checking to make sure The Doctor wasn’t in sight, then she ran to the bed quickly and pulled it on. “Hah! No sneaking a peek for him after tossing me in a mud pit.” The Tardis groaned in annoyance. “What?” The blue box groaned again in the direction of the door.
Rose looked out and realized the Tardis had led her to the kitchen, but why? Then she noticed it. On the table was a pitcher. “A pitcher of mud?” Rose whispered her question to the blue box as she walked toward it. She sniffed. “Oh, even better!” The Tardis screeched in delight. “And this is meant to be a distraction!” Rose guessed as she gestured to the suit jacket. The Tardis squealed. “Let’s do this.” Rose squealed back, scrunching her nose as she smiled.
Rose made her way to the console where The Doctor was fiddling with his sonic screwdriver on one of the panels. He heard her footsteps. “Ah, Rose, did you get cleaned -“ he started off snarky, but as he turned around his voice got higher and cracked, “-uh, up?” He looked her up and down as he raised his eyebrow.
Rose was no less than a foot away wearing nothing but his suit jacket. She had her hands behind her back making it just possible to see the curve of her breasts under the lapels. He stared her down again obviously very confused and equally enticed. She took one of her hands from behind her back and stroked his sideburn before running her hand into his hair and properly snogging him.
“Wh-what? Um? Wh-why are you um wearing that?” He stammered as he sucked in a breath. “To distract you from this.” Rose confessed plainly and in one fell swoop removed her other hand from behind her back and dumped the pitcher over The Doctor’s perfect hair. Chocolate ran down his face, and all over his clothes. Rose doubled over in laughter, and the Tardis joined her jolting ever so slightly.
“Rose Tyler!” The Doctor roared. Rose giggled as she ran away. “You won’t get away with this!” He continued as he chased after her. Her laughter betrayed her ability to run, and he caught her soon enough. He grabbed her by the waist and spun her around, planting an enormous kiss and smearing chocolate all over her. She sunk into him, allowing the mess. When he finished, she whispered into his ear. “Joke’s on you, this is your jacket.”