Chapter Text
It feels like a terrible itch.
That gnawing feeling that claws the back of your mind
Every single day
Every minute
Every second.
It drowns me.
Desperate to hang on to the life you gave me, I try to swim up to the surface —
only to be pushed back down in the waves, intent on drowning me.
The world I see now is in faded grey, there is no meaning in life without you
“Live on”, you said.
But how can I live on when you are not here anymore?
The guilt of living, drowns me.
You taught me how to live in this cruel world,
But you never taught me to live without you.
Every night, I try to sink deeper into our bed, finding your warmth.
Smelling you in, pretending you’re beside me.
Every night, I dream the same dream.
You, engulfing me, taking the blow.
Me, feeling the warmth of red seeping through my clothes.
Passionate red that signified our love,
That same colour draining your life away.
I wake up crying out to your name but no one replies me back.
I should have died with you.