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Jooheon sighed loudly as he stretched his wrist and grabbed another sheet full of the members autographs. He was sitting in the middle of the floor of the Monsta X dorm, pen in hand and had to add his signature to every sheet of this huge pile of Monsta X autograph papers. Due to some solo schedules, Jooheon had come home late and got a note from his manager telling him that he had to do some signatures for an upcoming fanmeet. He was looking forward to going to bed as soon as he got home, but the life of an idol pretty much guarantees that you won’t be having much sleep. It was nearing 3 A.M, when he heard the front door unlock and someone walk into the dorm. Jooheon, being the scaredy cat that he is, began panicking at who could have broken into their dorm. He could have sworn everyone was asleep, who could be coming in at this hour. He turned abruptly ready to either fight or probably run away from whoever it was, only to see one of his members pushing his hair back as he took off his shoes.
“Oh, hyung! I thought you were already asleep!” Jooheon said, almost too excited to see his older member.
“I just got back from a schedule filming” Shownu mumbled tiredly as he rubbed his eyes. “What are you doing?”
“Manager said we had to do some autographs for an upcoming fan meeting” Jooheon sighed as he smacked his hand on the big stack of paper “I think you’ll have to do them too.”
Shownu took off his coat and sighed in frustration, he walked around the table and sat down on the opposite side of the table. “Ah Jooheonie, I was hoping I would be able to sleep as soon as I got home.” He groaned as he grabbed his first sheet from Jooheon’s finished stack and started to sign his name. “I guess we’ll be here all night” he chucked. Jooheon smiled his famous bright smile as Shownu got more comfortable. “As long as I’m not doing this alone, I don’t care how long this takes” Jooheon cheerfully proclaimed.
Honestly, Jooheon was pretty excited to be spending some alone time with Shownu. A little too excited, but he tried to hide that as best as a hyper Jooheon could. It’s been a while that Jooheon has had a crush on his team’s leader. When they were trainees, it was a big deal when Shownu got into the company as a trainee. Everyone was talking about how an almost member of GOT7 joined Starship and everyone was hyping up his skills and talent. Jooheon was a little nervous hearing that, because he was known as the company’s ace and didn’t want that title taken away from him. Jooheon may have been a little cold when he first met Shownu but it was only because he felt a little threatened, especially since Shownu was an exceptional dancer and Jooheon lacked a little in the dancing department. That feeling only got worse for Jooheon as after two months that Shownu arrived, Starship grabbed a group of 12 trainees and set them up for a debut survival show. One by one, trainees were hacked off in a series of missions that would determine which ones were the strongest to debut. Shownu getting praise week after week only heated Jooheon up to the point where he began to resent the newest trainee. It wasn’t until he was paired up with Shownu for a mission and they actually talked for the first time did Jooheon realize how quickly feelings can change.
“You ok there Jooheonie?” Shownu asked with a concerned look on his face. Jooheon blinked hard and realized that he was staring off into space while rethinking about the past. He blushed hard, partially from embarrassment but also from the fact of Shownu calling him that cute nickname.
“Yeah, I zoned off a little.” Jooheon said, shaking his head cutely. “Hey Shownu...do you remember the first time we met?”
Shownu arched an eyebrow and set down his marker, “Yeah, I remember being afraid of you because I thought you hated me.”
Jooheon chuckled uncomfortably, “I was pretty mean as a trainee, wasn’t I?”
Shownu smiled, “Don’t worry, I realized that we were pretty much competing so I didn’t take it too personally. But why do you ask?”
Jooheon panicked a little to find a good reason to explain why he asked, “um..just...because.”
“Smooth one there” Jooheon thought to himself.
Shownu scratched his head, “Yeah I think it was about three years ago?”
------ December 2014---------
“But why do I have to be partnered with him?” Jooheon folded his arms as he talked to a producer outside the dance studio while Shownu sat silently in the practice room.
“It was the decision of the judges. This is a duo mission and Hyorin thinks that seeing you two would be an interesting thing to have on the show” The producer explained. “You’re just gonna have to make it work for this mission, now you only have a week to come up with a stage so I suggest that you get to work.” She said sternly as she didn’t have time to fix some petty issue. She turned and walked away as she began to speak into her headset.
Jooheon stood there confused and angry, he didn’t know what exactly to do for this challenge. He barely spoke a word to Shownu since he joined the company and it’s not like he was jumping at the chance to speak to him. During the beginning of the show, Jooheon was pretty confident that he was gonna debut as the center since he was known as the most talented trainee in Starship. His confidence took a nose dive as Shownu ended up getting the top trainee spot over Jooheon for 3 weeks in a row. Jooheon would be lying if he said he didn’t get extremely jealous of Shownu and his skills. Jooheon wanted to work with him just to show that he could be better than Shownu and get that #1 spot.
Jooheon looked through the porthole of the starship training room door and saw Shownu sitting at the desk with a sheet of paper. He rolled his eyes, “Of course he’s trying to show that he’s this amazing genius and coming up with the plan all by himself” Jooheon thought, sure he could have just been over reacting but right now he was just annoyed at everything Shownu did so he was sure that he was right. He opened the door and stormed to the table. Shownu stood up and bowed to Jooheon but Jooheon just sat down, slouched in his chair, grabbed a paper and pencil and put his feet up on the table. Shownu was a little shocked but he slowly sat down as the other boy was staring him down. Shownu grabbed his pencil and looked down at his paper to avoid the killer daggers his partner was sending him. The room was dead silent and Shownu couldn’t even concentrate with how much hostility he was feeling from the other boy. Suddenly the silence was broken as the other boy directed a “Yah” at him.
“Who do you think you are, honestly?” Shownu eyes slowly became wider as he looked up at the younger guy. Usually people get the whole “seniority thing” but this kid really did not care.
“I’m sorry?” Shownu questioned quietly.
“You walk into this company after not making a debut with GOT7 and you think you can just take my spot as the top trainee. Funny how everyone is treating you like you’re some talented trainee and yet you couldn’t even debut with GOT7.” Jooheon snarked at Shownu.
“I’m sorry” Shownu apologized. He really didn’t want to make this into a bigger issue but Jooheon was not giving up.
“Why are you apologizing? Cameras aren’t here so you don’t have to put on some pity act in the hope that you can use it to get people to like you, it seems like they already like you enough.” Jooheon grumbled. He crossed his arms and muttered something under his breath.
Shownu stayed quiet for a second, he was trying to figure out a way to defuse the situation. He just stood up and bowed again and repeated “I’m sorry”
“I just don’t get it, what do you have that I don’t?” Jooheon questioned.
Shownu scanned the younger boy up and down, “You are very talented if you ask me”
“I didn’t ask for your pity” Jooheon snarked at the older man.
“I’m not trying to be pitiful towards you” Shownu started, “You’re an exceptional rapper and you really know how to work a stage and that really helps you. I wish I had the stage presence that you have.”
Jooheon’s hardened look suddenly softened as he began to take his feet off the table. He was confused, never has a trainee really talked like this to another trainee, usually they just kind of tear each other down. He was generally confused as how to respond to these comments.
“D-don’t play around!” Jooheon stuttered. “Don’t try to bring me up only to tear me down. Besides you know you’re better than me in dancing.”
“That’s because that’s my position, it’s like how you’re a rapper, you’re obviously better than me because I haven’t done much training in rapping. I should get tips from you on how to control a stage though, you always look so comfortable on stage and when you finish and do that cute smile that drives the girls crazy.” Shownu explained with a small smile on his face.
Jooheon blushed as he heard the older man call him cute. Did he feel his heart skip a little? A second ago he hated this guy, and now he’s suddenly making his heart skip. Was Jooheon being a little too hard on this guy? No! This guy was a competitor and he wasn’t gonna let this nice act stop him from keeping his guard up.
Jooheon sat up straight, “Why are you being nice to me? I’m literally trying to start a fight with you”
“Because we’re a team, I know we are gonna debut together. So let’s do our best to show a good stage. With your stage presence and cute smile and my dancing, we’re sure to get to the top.” Shownu smiled a big grin and Jooheon could feel his face getting red. Shownu wasn’t trying to continue the fight but just just trying to find peace. This was very different from last week when Jooheon almost got into a fight with #Gun at their last mission
“Are you ok? Your face is red all of a sudden” Shownu voice changed to a worried tone, Jooheon had a reputation of being this hard rapper, he couldn’t be blushing in front of this new trainee.
Jooheon covered his face “Yeah I’m fine, we should start thinking of songs we want to cover.” he said into his sleeves. Shownu smiled to himself seeing the “hard” rapper suddenly get embarrassed and flustered.
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Jooheon smirked as he looked the older guy. It really has been a long time that they’ve known each other. It’s also been a long time that he’s held these feelings for Shownu. He hoped that Shownu would debut alongside with him ever since that incident in the practice room. When they finally debuted, fans noticed how close the two were and they began to call their friendship a “father and son” kind of friendship. Although he wanted more than that, he took what he could and used it to be close to the older member.
“You know, you did say a lot of nice stuff to me that day. It threw me off, but it really did help me grow closer with you” Jooheon admitted to Shownu. Shownu looked up to the younger boy and smirked.
“Yet, you didn’t say a single compliment to me that night.” Shownu raised his eyebrow as he looked back down at his sheet to sign. Jooheon froze, he was right, he didn’t say a single positive back to Shownu that night.
“I didn’t think I needed to, seeing as how everyone always praised you” Jooheon said sarcastically. Shownu chuckled to himself after hearing Jooheon snapback.
“Yeah but I couldn’t tell if they were just saying that just to get the public to like me. I know a few people didn’t like me because I was a failed GOT7 member and they probably thought that would guarantee my debut. I always took what they said and tried to do more.” Shownu admitted, his face had fallen and his smile faded away as he remembered the struggle he had while trying to debut.
Jooheon took note of this change and knew that he had to say something to cheer him up.
“Well, You are very handsome hyung, you have a nice body and you have an amazing voice.” Jooheon started. He looked over to the older boy who was sneering.
“Stop joking” Shownu said shyly as he grabbed another sheet.
“I’m not!” Jooheon said eagerly. It seemed that Shownu was enjoying being complemented and seeing that cute smile on his face made Jooheon want to say more. He moved a sheet to the finished pile and grabbed a new one as he continued talking. “You have all the good things that I don’t have! Really!”
“Well I guess you’re good at that” Shownu said as he wheezed at his own joke. Jooheon rolled his eyes.“ Wow I really have a crush on this dork?” He thought to himself. Shownu threw his head back in laughter and even though Jooheon wanted to be mad, he couldn’t with how happy Shownu looked.
“Yah Shownu! Can you at least say what I’m good at first before you start laughing?” Jooheon whined as he made a pouty face to the older member. Jooheon didn’t think the joke was that funny but Shownu really thought it was the funniest joke in the world.
“I’m sorry Jooheonie!” Shownu said. “You’re good at a lot of things Jooheon. You’ve showed that you can make songs for the group, rapping but that one is obvious. But you can really make yourself different from all the other music producers, and that’s something you’re extremely good with.” Jooheon started blushing from all the compliments that were being thrown his way.
“You’re still young and cute too, so you still have time to develop your abilities.” Shownu continued. Jooheon felt his heart skip a beat, did Shownu really think he was cute? He didn’t even remember what else Shownu had said after he admitted he was cute. He tried to lower his head closer than his signature paper so that Shownu wouldn’t see how red his face was and how hard he was smiling.
“You have an amazing personality as well Jooheonie. Caring, ready to make people smile, I’m sure whatever girl you end up with will be very lucky.” Jooheon stopped halfway through his signature and his smile disappeared. He didn’t know how to feel, on one hand Shownu basically said that he’d be a great partner but Shownu just had to mention that he would make a girl happy. Jooheon sat in hesitation as he thought about what to say next. He really didn’t want to just let the comment pass by but he wasn’t sure whether or not he was ready to tell Shownu how he felt.
“Hyung…” Jooheon quietly muttered. Shownu lifted his head from his paper and looked up at the other boy. He raised his eyebrow as he looked at how uncomfortable Jooheon’s face was.
“Is everything ok Jooheonie?” He asked carefully. Jooheon looked up at him and he could see the awkwardness in his face. Jooheon opened his mouth to say something but quickly shook his head and said it was nothing. Shownu knew when his members had a problem with something and decided to egg on a little more.
“Jooheonie, you can always tell me when you’re upset with something. I’m here to listen” He said comfortably.
“It’s just that…..” Jooheon started awkwardly as his eyes watering up a little. “...Why do you always say that I’m going to make some girl lucky or happy?”
Shownu was a little shocked, he didn’t think his small comment would cause the “strong willed” boys eyes to start watering. Shownu let his pen down and started panicking and trying to find a way out of this situation.
“I just mean that because you’re an amazing person, that any girl would -”
“Hyung, I don’t want to make any girl happy….” Jooheon took a deep breath and he looked Shownu dead in the eyes, “... I want to make you happy.”
Jooheon froze as soon as the words left his lips. He didn’t really just say that, did he? He looked at Shownu like a deer in the headlights and opened his mouth slowly to try to say something, but he couldn’t. It was like he was trapped in sleep paralysis, he was so shocked and so scared about what Shownu was going to say. Shownu looked him directly in the eyes and lifted one of his eyebrows.
“You do make me happy Jooheonie, I appreciate you as a member of the group and you’re such a hard worker an- “ Jooheon looked down at his lap as Shownu started off. At that moment, it was if something had snapped inside of Jooheon’s mind, he was tired of hiding his feelings for the older member. He didn’t want Shownu to think that he was searching for a girl and he didn’t want to see Shownu end up with anyone else and have to pretend he’s ok with it. There was no guarantee that Shownu was going to like him back but he needed to tell him. This was the only chance for him to tell him the truth without it being much more awkward or end badly.
“Shownu hyung….That’s not what I mean.” He muttered. He looked back up to the older member and locked eyes with him. Shownu had a worried look on his face as he made eye contact with Jooheon. Jooheon was sitting there with a tear streaming down his face.
“Jooheonie….why are you crying? What do you mean?” Shownu quickly got up to move to the other side of the table. He sat next to Jooheon and wrapped his arm around his shoulders in a kind of awkward side hug. Jooheon smiled as he looked up to Shownu. Shownu looked so visibly worried and it was that kind of kindness that Shownu was known for that made Jooheon fall in love with him. He turned away from Shownu and took a deep breath.
“Hyung, I want to make you happy. I look at you more than just a co-member and friend. Ever since the day we practiced for our survival mission together, you’ve shown that you’re such a caring person who puts others first. I saw you as a good friend at first but over the years, it’s grown to be so much more.” Jooheon turned his head to look at Shownu, only to see him staring at the ground and looking a little uncomfortable. He could slowly feel Shownu’s arm coming off his shoulders and he knew this was going in the opposite direction, but it was too late to stop now.
“I know this is a lot to take in and I’m fairly certain that you’re not going to feel the same way but,” he took another deep breath and found the strength to continue. “I was going to hate myself if I didn’t say anything soon. This is something I’ve been struggling with for a while and it’s always why I made sure to be in a team with you, be next to you during photoshoots or did anything to find an excuse to be next to you. Our fans always said it was like I was your son because I was always following you around and you always seemed to take care and always worry about me. Some would even say that I was your favorite from the group, which I felt bad about because I was always hoping it was true.” Jooheon smiled to himself as he looked up at the ceiling.
“I know I’m rambling at this point but hyung, I just need you to know” he looked at Shownu as another tear streamed down his face “I’m in love with you.”
Shownu kept his eyes locked onto the floor, and he didn’t say a single thing. Jooheon looked away from Shownu and felt his eyes water up a little more, Shownu was going to reject him and everything would end up being awkward to the point that even the other members would notice. Jooheon started panicking and wondered if Shownu was going to end up leaving or if he would have to leave. Maybe it was better that he didn’t say anything, at least this way he would have still had Shownu as a friend.
“You don’t have to say anything hyung, I just wanted you to know.” Jooheon tried to say without cracking his voice from the waterfall of tears that were about to come out. Jooheon waited for the older member to say something but it seemed like the silence was going to stay.
“Close your eyes” a deep voice broke the silence. Jooheon looked visibly confused as he turned his head to face Shownu who was still just staring at the ground, he opened his mouth to protest but Shownu just repeated what he said. “Please, just close your eyes”. Jooheon didn’t protest again and closed his eyes. He was half expecting for Shownu to just get up and leave. He played like 200 scenarios in his mind and didn’t know what to expect.
He suddenly felt a pair of hands hold his face and a jolt of shock that went through his whole body as he felt a pair of lips touch his own. He opened his eyes, thinking that it was just Shownu holding his hand to his lips or something similar but was shocked to see his hyung, the guy he’d had a huge crush on for such a long time, kissing him. Jooheon closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Shownu’s neck and began to kiss the older member back. Shownu’s lips were so soft and Jooheon wanted to feel more of the other member. He opened his mouth with a soft moan and Shownu got the hint and tilted his head as he began to move his lips and deepened the kiss. Jooheon moaned into the kiss and he felt one of Shownu’s hands rest on his side. Their breathing began to get heavier and louder as Jooheon let out years of hiding his feelings in this one moment. After what felt like hours, Shownu let go of the younger members lips. Shownu moved back and Jooheon let his arms fall off his neck.
“Hyung…” Jooheon whispered slowly. His eyes sparkled and his face blushed as he was still basking in the afterglow of the kiss. He buried his face in his hands as to not show the older member how red his face was.
“I’m sorry that I sent you mixed messages Jooheon.” Shownu started as Jooheon looked up from his hands to look at Shownu. “I always had feelings for you as well, but I never said anything to you. I always thought it was unlike a leader to feel this way about one of their members. There was a reason that I would always want you by my side or always hoped that you would follow me everywhere. I didn’t like being away from you Jooheonie, at first I thought it was because I wanted to take care of you like I do with the rest of the members, but I soon realized that it was because,” He turned his head to look Jooheon in the eyes “ I was in love with you too”
Jooheon’s eyes widened as he heard those last words leave Shownu’s lips. Was he dreaming? Was this some cruel prank? Was this one of those hidden cameras that Starship would have to pay to never be released because imagine the backlash that would happen if it was revealed that Jooheon was in love with Shownu. Jooheon read the expression on Shownu’s face, he looked so vulnerable and nervous, something that he’s never seen from the leader.
“You do?” was the only thing Jooheon could mutter out of his shocked state. Shownu nodded his head slowly as he scooted closer to Jooheon. Jooheon laid his head on Shownu’s shoulder and smiled. He grabbed Jooheon’s hand and intertwined his fingers with the younger member. The two sat there for a little bit, taking in the fact that they just confessed their deepest feelings for each other. Shownu suddenly started to get up from his spot. Jooheon whined and didn’t let go of his hand, “Where are you going?” he pouted looking up at the older member.
“We need to finish these autographs, our manager isn’t gonna be happy if we don’t get these done for the fansign tomorrow” Shownu lectured. Even after confessing and starting a new chapter in their relationship, Shownu was still the dependable leader that Jooheon knew and loved.
“You could still sit by me though” he pouted. Shownu smiled at him and nodded.
“Fine, Fine, only if you promise to try to finish these as fast as you can” Shownu laughed.
“Only if you promise to hold my hand while I finish this and I can sleep in your bed tonight” Jooheon said with loads of aegyo. Shownu nodded his head and laughed as he messed with Jooheon’s hair. Jooheon laid his head on Shownu’s shoulder and smiled hard, causing Shownu to raise an eyebrow to the rapper.
“I guess the fans were right, I am your favorite member.” Jooheon smirked at the older member.
“No I don’t think you are.” Shownu said with a playful voice. Jooheon picked his head up from Shownu’s shoulder and shot him an evil glare. He pouted as he let go of Shownu’s hand to cross his arms.
“Who is it then?” Jooheon said with a little anger in his voice. Shownu snickered and smiled brightly at the upset member. He wrapped his arms around Jooheon’s side and whispered in his ear. “Minhyuk”
Jooheon playfully pushed Shownu away as Shownu was in a fit of giggles. “Ya, Son Hyunwoo! You just confessed that you loved me and you’re gonna tell me that I’m not your favorite member! Minhyuk? If he’s your favorite, then what am I?” Jooheon snapped at the older member. Shownu placed his hand on Jooheon’s chin and turned his head to give him a little peck on the lips.
“My boyfriend” Shownu answered. Jooheon had to fight every urge to roll his eyes and push the older member farther away. Jooheon instead, blushed hard and gave his new boyfriend a small kiss on his cheek.
“You’re just lucky that I think these dad jokes are cute.” Jooheon said as he pinched his boyfriend’s cheek.
“I’m just lucky that you’re mine now” Shownu said as he laid a small kiss on Jooheon’s lips. Jooheon blushed and hid his face in his hands. He playfully pushed Shownu and laughed, “God we’ve been dating for 5 minutes and you’re already being cheesy as hell.”
Shownu wrapped his arm around Jooheon and smiled softly, “I hope that I can be cheesy with you for the rest of our lives.” Jooheon blushed deeply as he heard those words come from the leader.
They spent the rest of the night signing their autographs onto 300 copies of posters for their fansigns. Since Jooheon started before Shownu, Jooheon finished his autographs and had ended up falling asleep on Shownu’s shoulder. Once Shownu had finished, he tried to wake up his sleeping beauty but all Jooheon did was whine and pout about not wanting to move. Shownu laughed and bridal style carried his boyfriend. Jooheon smiled softly as he was carried to their shared room and was laid down on Shownu’s bed. He blushed even harder as he felt Shownu’s arms wrap around him and pull him closer to the older member. Jooheon felt a pair of lips touch his forehead and he smiled as he heard Shownu whisper “Good night Jooheonie”. Jooheon finally got what he wanted, his one true love.